[FFML] [SHnY] Pick Your Battles

[Michael Clark]

>     "If you're trying to say that even though she never apologized,
>     she paid attention to what I said, I get that," I aknowledge.

Acknowledge.

>
>     The pair fall into step behind me, Koizumi's footsteps nearly
>     silent[,] and Nagato's absolutely so.  After half a block, Koizumi
>     pulls even with me, sighing.  "If you are truly unaware, then I
>     have to explain that Suzumiya-san's current behaviors are a result
>     of your actions," he tells me in warning.
>
I suggest killing the bracketed comma, though I think I understand your
reasons for having it there.

The only other minor nitpick is that I'd thought Haruhi referred to
Nagato exclusively as Yuki (i.e., plainly, with no honorific suffix).  I
noticed right away when she started addressing Koizumi by his first
name.  That was good.

On the whole, I find the concept of this story intriguing.  There's
definitely an aspect of coercion, however unintentional, when one
considers a romance between Haruhi and Kyon, and I think I feel the same
as you that Kyon would rebel against being pressured.  I think I agree
with his goals as stated in this piece, but I'm not sure I like his
methods.  I dare say for the first three-quarters of the piece I felt
Kyon was being excessively antagonistic, and in light of the conclusion
it only feels like he was doing that in a calculated way.  Perhaps this
was the intended reaction after all.  I'm not sure I fully accept it
being in his character to plot something from the getgo or, conversely,
to act so hostilly toward Haruhi without commensurate provocation.  Then
again, perhaps Haruhi's roundabout methods are in themselves
provocation, but I don't really feel that way.

It also struck me as a bit odd that Kyon would complain repatedly about
Haruhi's insults toward him, as if he were keeping a running tally.  By
this point, they've known each other for over a year.  I can't see him
being really that bothered by how she is unless that's also part of an
effort to manipulate.  To an extent, I know I've thought sometimes that
we as fans would have a more encyclopedic knowledge of words and
dialogue than the characters themselves would, but maybe that's neither
here nor there.

Like I said, I think the conclusion is spot-on:  it's a very plausible
way for Kyon to extricate himself from an implicitly coercive situation
and still be there for Haruhi in a way he's comfortable.  It's just that
everything that leads to it is... unsettling, at least to me.  I wish I
felt differently, as I must wonder if my attitude toward the feeling of
things has kept me from looking more closely at other aspects.  I hope
this is helpful, regardless.