[FFML] [SHnY] The Coin - Chapter Three

[Brian Randall]

On Mon, Aug 29, 2011 at 1:14 PM, Michael Clark <eta.bootis at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
> I'll probably rework this to something like she *thinks* she sees a
> skirt flutter, but when she tries to focus on it, the culprit is already
> out of view.

I think it works as it is.  It fits with Haruhi not pursuing things
when they're unpleasant, like in Snow Mountain Syndrome.

>> Where is his bike?
>>
> Hm, they did put two people on that bike at some point after all?  I was
> thinking they did, but I couldn't place where.

Kyon walks up the hill.  He rides his bike to the train station from
home, and then leaves it in a locker at the station (this was
mentioned in one of the books).  I'm ... guessing that's Kitaguchi,
normally.

> I was a bit negligent here.  Originally, he left outright (hence the
> bag).  I changed it because I thought that was too much, but then I
> didn't fix the detail of the bag.  I'll have to think about that one.

...wish I'd read this before I made a big deal out of it. >_>

>> > "You see?" the old woman went on.  "Even now, you hold on to that
>> > thing.  You dare not let it disappear.  Where are you going, Child?
>> > Where are you going[,] that you need a hundred-yen coin so badly?"
>>
>> Would a comma be needed there?

If it's indicating a pause in speech, it's probably fine.

>> The timing of that game has always bothered me. It gets squeezed out
>> so that neither Sasaki nor Taniguchi notices the change.

That's because it happened during Golden Week, IIRC, not long after
the start of Haruhi's first year of middle school.  Sasaki wouldn't
have been there to see it, and Taniguchi would only have known her for
a month.

>> Why isn't Yuki there already?

Because her bosses are backing Ryouko?  Because Yuki's not 100% loyal
to the IDSE anymore, and they know that?  Maybe they're going out of
their way to hide it from her.  I actually got the impression that
Yuki was prevented from interacting until Haruhi's subconscious wish
that something deal with Ryouko for her.

Could just be me, but I didn't trip over this for a heartbeat.

>> Also when a data entity overrides physics the espers become empowered.
>> c.f. Mysterious Sign.

One instance of an environment controlled by a data being that's not
even the same type as Ryouko/Yuki/Emiri doesn't qualify as substantive
evidence, IMNSHO.

Specifically, the other entity put them in 'a parallel space', that
Koizumi said was 'enough like closed space' that he could get to some
of his powers (and not all of them).

> You think Koizumi should be empowered by the time Asakura appears or
> only when she exerts full jurisdiction on the stadium?  If it's the
> former, yeah, I'll have to think about that.  If it's the latter, I
> don't see how it's of consequence:  Asakura's "disciplined" in one shot
> anyway.

I, er, disagree with Mr. Cobb on this one.

The IDSE isn't dumb enough to set things up so that some trivial human
pawn (even empowered) can beat their entity (unless they want to force
Koizumi to reveal himself, which is a possibility, but evidently not
the case right now).  They're aware of espers, and there's no reason
to think that when they say they're in control of an area's data, they
mean it more than data-cave-crickets or other more primitive data
entities might.

If your story doesn't have Koizumi interfering here, well -- if Yuki's
locked out, he's got even less to do.  I think this is fine.

> As for Nagato, the best thing to say would be that if Asakura
> overstepped in raising thousands of people from their seats, Nagato
> would be overstepping if she interfered before.  That's my theory of it,
> anyway.

In either case, the narrator doesn't really know. :)

> Thanks as always, Henry.
>
> -MC
-- 
Brian Randall
--
Yrne awaits those with the courage to seek it.
--
I write fanfiction. Too much of it. You can read it here, on my
terrible webpage:
http://pishoque.net/brian/