[FFML] [Mai Hime, Future] Road Trip Revision

John Biles john at biles.us
Sat May 16 21:27:39 PDT 2009


I have made further revisions to Road Trip which I will post on my website
once I get feedback on this scene revision.

I cut the whole pirate segment because I couldn't get satisfied with it and
because I cut some future stuff I had planned.


I also made large revisions to the Kagami and Shun fight the bully scene, as
seen below:



*****************


     We were still kissing when I heard a scream, distantly, off across
campus.  I froze up and so did Mitsu... Kagami-san.  She jumped back and
turned.  "Did you hear that?"

    "Shit," I said.  "Yes."

    "Go get the headmaster!  I'll deal with this!" Kagami-san said.

    She turned and began to run; there was a second scream.  This one was a
guy.  Monster attack?  In the middle of campus?  Shit, please don't let us
have unleashed ancient evil.

     "I can't let the students get hurt!" she shouted.

    "This isn't even our campus!" I shouted, but I pulled my phone out.

    I hit the speed dial for Mom.  She answered, "Shun-chan, what is it?"

    "A guy and a girl are screaming and M... Kagami-san's decided she has to
investigate, so I'm following her.  Please tell the headmaster so she can
call security."

    "I will.  And be very careful.  Don't bite off anything you can't chew,
son," Mom said firmly.

    There was another shout, the woman again.  "No, stop!"  Wait, did I know
that voice?  She sounded familiar when she actually said words.  Dammit, I
know that voice.  But how would I know someone here?

    I winced.  "Anyway, we're headed... I think it's west of the gardens."

    "Be careful," she said very firmly.

    "I will.  I expect my cousins are probably running this way too," I told
her.

    "I expect so," she said, clearly not happy with that.

     I had not realized Mitsu-san... Kagami-san could run this fast, but I
suppose it's a matter of motivation.

    Two students were on the ground when she arrived with me coming up
behind her.  One of them was about my age, a handsome but skinny brunet
wearing slacks and a nice shirt; next to him was a lush blonde in a blue
blouse and a knee length skirt.  I knew her very well.

    "April?" I said in disbelief.  Her parents moved her to another school
this year; we'd gone out for a while but her parents decided Fuuka was a
better school, so we decided to break up, as her parents didn't like me much
anyway and we'd hardly ever see each other.

    "Shun?" she said in surprise.

    Looking at the guy, I felt a strong surge of jealousy and tried to crush
it.  April and I had been over for months since her parents had sent her to
another school and it was entirely retarded for me, who now had a
girlfriend, to get jealous.

    The heart really is a stupid thing sometimes, though.

    The third student was a big muscular guy with short auburn hair, kind of
curly.  He looked like he probably played soccer or maybe even rugby.

     Just a bully, whew.  This I could handle.

    "STOP!" Kagami-san ran up and interposed herself.  "What do you think
you're doing attacking other students?"

    "Who the hell are you?" the man bellowed.

    I noticed April's date was staring at me, looking jealous.  Sorry,
whoever you are.

     "Kagami-san, let me handle this guy!" I shouted as I tried to close
in.  "I'm pretty good with my fists."

    "Wow, you're the most faggoty looking guy I've ever seen," the guy said,
staring at me.  "I'll be happy to kick your ass in a minute, freak."

    "Shun-kun is not a freak!"  Kagami-san said angrily, then went into
something resembling a fighting stance, though it looked to me like someone
trying to imitate martial arts movies they'd seen.  "It's my job to look
after the students and prevent trouble," she said, then flashed her ring at
him.

    I ran over and helped April and her date up.  "That's my girlfriend,
Mitsu Kagami.  I think she's forgotten which school we're at."  I then moved
over to help her; Kagami is brave but I'm the one who started learning to
punch at age six.

    He charged her and she charged him and I tried to intercept and the
result was that they basically crashed into each other and to my surprise,
he fell on his ass.  However, he then grabbed her and they began wrestling
around in the dirt.

    I waited for the right moment and kicked him in the ass.  He lost his
grip on her and now we both pinned him to the ground.

    "Get a grip you idiot!," I told him.  "What the hell did you do to those
two?"

    "Yuki's pissed because my brother kicked his brother's ass, so he's
taking it out on me," April's date said.  He was trying to dust April off.
"I'm Hayasaki Shigeru.  Thank you."

    "I'm Tokiha Shun," I told him.

    His eyes widened and I prayed he had only heard good things about me.

    Kagami and I hauled the guy to his feet.  "Now," she said.  "You're
going to stay right here until the headmaster gets here."

    "You'll regret this!," he said.  "Hey, guys!"

    I now heard running and four other big athletes now loomed out of the
darkness.  "Aren't you done yet?" one of them, a redhead, said to Yuki, then
looked at me curiously.  "Skinny little shit like that kicked your ass?"

    Double crap.

    "April, get your boyfriend out of here," I said.  "Kagami, cover their
retreat."  I moved to interpose myself, wishing I had Dan's toughness.
Still, I'm probably faster than them and there ought to be some people
coming.

    "But..." Kagami began.

    "Get them to Aunt Fumi," I told her.  "We both know I'm the one who has
been training to fight since I was six."

    "I'm not leaving you behind," she said firmly.  "April-san, get your
boyfriend down the path!  The Headmaster's House is that way."

    "It took both of them just for me," Yuki said.  "Let's paste them.  Who
the hell are you people, anyway?"

    And then Kasumi skidded to a halt next to me and I could see Crystal,
Natasha, Dan, and Erica sprinting our way even as April and Shigeru ran.

    Kasumi now reached into her purse and began trying to unwrap her tonfas,
which were wrapped in dishcloths with rubberbands around them.  Probably not
ideal for quick access.

    There was also a distant thunder which I suspected was the sound of my
entire family coming like one great tidal wave.

    "We're more trouble than you can handle, Yuki," I told him.

    "Give up now and I'm sure the Headmistress will be lenient," Kagami
said.  "As a member of Ring Club..."

    "Honey, I hate to tell you, but you don't have any authority here," I
told Kagami.

    She froze up, embarrassed.

    But now I had my cousins by my side.  "Who do we kill first?" Natasha
asked.

    "Shit," one of Yuki's friends said, looking past us.  They took off
running.

    "What was that?" Crystal asked.

    "Was that April we passed on the way here?" Dan asked in surprise.

    "Yeah," I said.

    Kagami's eyes suddenly widened and she stared at me.

    "Yes, my ex, dear," I told her, then kissed her firmly to reassure her.


    Kagami became very embarrassed when everyone else started cheering us
on.

    Aunt Fumi, leading a horde of hastily armed members of my family, now
strode up, talking to April and Shigeru.  "Mitsu-san, you should avoid
violence unless you have no other choice."

    "I was just trying to protect them," she mumbled, looking embarrassed.

    "She was just trying to protect them," I told her.  "I'm sorry, Aunt
Fumi."

    "It's okay," she said.  "It's pretty clear that you didn't start it."
She sighed.  "Bullying is always a problem even at this level.  I will deal
with the troublemakers.  Everyone else can go back to the house.  Sorry,
everyone."

    April was talking to Mom now; Mom had mixed feelings about April, but
she was being very kind, it looked like to me.  "I am glad you are alright,
April-san," she said.  "It's nice to meet you, Hayasaki-san."

    Hayasaki clearly had no idea what to say or do; I couldn't blame him.
"You okay, April?" I asked.

    I made sure to take and keep Kagami's hand the whole time.  I'm not sure
if she's the jealous type, but it was best to reassure her.

    "I'm fine," she mumbled, looking embarrassed.  "What are you doing
here?"

    "Aunt Fumi is the headmistress, she invited us to her place for dinner,"
I said.

    "We heard you screaming," Kagami said, holding my hand tightly.  "So we
came to your help.  It..."  She looked a little embarrassed.  "I sort of
forgot which school I was at.  I'm in the service club at Rosewood."

    "Your mother came as part of the women in science lectures, I remember,"
April said.  "Take good care of Shun.  He's too lazy for his own good, so he
needs someone to ride herd on him."

    Shigeru snickered and I said, "Hey!"

    Kagami smiled.  "I will."

    "Don't let us keep you from your date," I said.  "Good luck,
Hayasaka-san.  Just remember every anniversary if you don't want to know
what pain really is."  I know what pain really is.

    He looked a bit spooked as they said their goodbyes and left.

    "She's very pretty," Kagami mumbled once she was gone.

    "So are you," I said, squeezing her hand.

    Aunt Akane whispered something to Kagami, then said, "I need to borrow
her a minute."

    "Okay," I said.  "See you soon, dear."

    She got led off to the side as everyone started drifting back.  I walked
with my parents.
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