[FFML] [SleeplessDomain] Magical Girl Impostor Syndrome

[Gary Kleppe]

Quoting Adrian Tymes <atymes at gmail.com>:

> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14373915
>
> The base idea came easily enough, but when I wrote it down it was all
> tell, no show.  I tried fitting bits of show back in - description of
> background actions, and emoting as well as talking.  I wonder if there
> is some other general approach I could take.
>
> This isn't the only fic where I am running into this problem.  Lots of
> exposition, lots of plot which is formed and resolved by people
> talking - but then it's just talking, and thus bland.


I would say identify what you feel is the central question of your  
story, what the main character is trying to accomplish. My own  
yardstick is, anything that is directly relevant in a significant way  
to that central question *must* be shown; secondary stuff can be shown  
or told, whichever works best, and I might have to write it both ways  
to know which does (this actually happened for a chapter that I'll be  
posting in a few days).

So I would say (and you may see it differently) that your story's  
central question is, Vedika deciding whether she should think of  
herself as a real magical girl. Maybe it would help to make this more  
concrete? Perhaps she has to decide whether to drop out of MG school  
or enroll for another term? Maybe she types up a letter of resignation  
and ends up tearing it up in the end? Just a thought.

Now, what things that happen will directly influence her decision?  
Since part of it is her comparing herself to her fellow magical girls,  
maybe showing a scene where they go into action and she basically  
stands on the sidelines ready to clean things up. The experience with  
Pop Blitz is another significant factor. One possibility would be a  
scene where Ved meets up with PB and is tempted to ask to fix her leg,  
but can't even bring herself to float the possibility.

Just a few thoughts. In my experience, the way I originally conceive  
something is rarely the same as what it ends up being, and this is a  
good thing. The point is to ask yourself, is there a better way to do  
this? Sometimes the answer's no, but when it's not, you can end up  
with a better product.

Now what I really want to know is, what happens to all of these  
magical girls after they grow up? Are magical grown women a thing? Or  
do their powers all peter out by that point? Is it like Miracleman  
where they eventually don't even remember what they did as girls?