[FFML] [orig] Pandora's Paradox Chapter 3: Stable Time Loop

[Abdiel]

Yup. And everyone called the "She's her own mother" thing, which is to be
expected when submitting stories to a list full of fellow writers. :)

I originally had the "15 years later" scene happen after the "hospital end
scene", but the latter gave a stronger "Closing Image" feel (thank you,
Blake Snyder), so I switched them around.

Glad you enjoyed the story. :D


On Wed, May 7, 2014 at 4:30 PM, O David Morgan <dmorgan at tgbob.com> wrote:

> Abdiel wrote:
>
>  Next: The freeter and the time traveler.
>>
>> Please go back to Chapter 1.
>>
>> If the inspiration for this story isn't clear enough (you know, aside
>> from Back to the Future and Terminator), I'll give you a hint.
>>
>> Random. Cosplayer. Wife.
>>
>> Okay, fine. It's Steins;Gate. If you haven't watched the anime or played
>> the VN, look it up.
>>
>
> Aw, I knew I shoulda said something... Mostly because I'd seen S;G
> recently, and I haven't seen many other time-travel series, and Endo's
> character seemed to match.
>
> There were enough oblique mentions of the rest of the lab throughout that
> the idea never really went away ^_- but yeah, called it sometime during the
> first chapter; not entirely sure when.
>
> Was hoping it /wasn't/ going to be an "I'm my own parent" story, but aside
> from that it was ok. A bit short maybe for a covers-three-years story, IMO,
> but then I love epics so I'm biased.
>
> (Also, I don't want to think too closely about the DNA probabilities
> involved with being one's own parent, because it's obviously 1.0 and just
> means there were no mutations, right?)
>
> Not really sure if I liked the placement of the [15 years later] scene...
> or maybe it's that you seem to have two end-scenes, making one of them
> extraneous? I'm not awake enough to swap positioning and see if it's better
> that way, sorry, maybe later.
>
> Still, I enjoyed the rest of the story :)
> -Strike & Co.
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