[FFML] [orig] Pandora's Paradox Chapter 3: Stable Time Loop

[O David Morgan]

Abdiel wrote:

> Next: The freeter and the time traveler.
>
> Please go back to Chapter 1.
>
> If the inspiration for this story isn't clear enough (you know, aside
> from Back to the Future and Terminator), I'll give you a hint.
>
> Random. Cosplayer. Wife.
>
> Okay, fine. It's Steins;Gate. If you haven't watched the anime or played
> the VN, look it up.

Aw, I knew I shoulda said something... Mostly because I'd seen S;G 
recently, and I haven't seen many other time-travel series, and Endo's 
character seemed to match.

There were enough oblique mentions of the rest of the lab throughout 
that the idea never really went away ^_- but yeah, called it sometime 
during the first chapter; not entirely sure when.

Was hoping it /wasn't/ going to be an "I'm my own parent" story, but 
aside from that it was ok. A bit short maybe for a covers-three-years 
story, IMO, but then I love epics so I'm biased.

(Also, I don't want to think too closely about the DNA probabilities 
involved with being one's own parent, because it's obviously 1.0 and 
just means there were no mutations, right?)

Not really sure if I liked the placement of the [15 years later] 
scene... or maybe it's that you seem to have two end-scenes, making 
one of them extraneous? I'm not awake enough to swap positioning and 
see if it's better that way, sorry, maybe later.

Still, I enjoyed the rest of the story :)
-Strike & Co.
-- 
Rule # 1: There are always exceptions to the rules.