[FFML] [FANFIC][BGC] Frozen Butterfly Chapter 4 part 2

[skychan]

 This will be merged with the existing chapter 4 text.

Even though I was now on the clock for talking with Sylvie I didn't want to
move.  Going out sooner wouldn't guarantee a better result, and I felt
myself wanting to put it off in case things went bad for as long as
possible.

So I took a shower.  It was nice, and with the hot water reserves of an
entire building at my disposal although realistically pruned I had not run
out of hot water despite the length.  Damp and dripping a little I made my
way back through the halls to my room only pausing as I saw the blurry dark
haired form of Nanami watching TV in the lounge.

Before I could make up my mind on what to do she caught me looking and with
an impish grin bid the others goodbye.  While quick I wasn't quite fast
enough to reach my room before she caught up with me.  Something about the
twinkle in her eye letting me know I was in for it.

"So... two showers in one day hmm?  Anything you're not telling me about
A-ri-su-chan?" she asked as she clung to my back and half guided half
propelled me into the privacy of my room.  *Subjects tone and body language
indicate concealed jealousy 87% probable.*  And if that weren't high enough
her next line clinched it.  "I thought that you needed a little bit more
time to make up your mind?"  This time the hint hurt in her voice is far
more clear.

I had to wonder if she was going to ambush me every time I left the showers
at this rate.  The water dripping from my hair sending a cool shiver down
my spine as it made its way downward.  This was far more... aggressive than I
ever expected her to be, and honestly I wasn't sure what to make of it.  At
least until I noticed her scanning the room, her eyes lingering on my futon
and the slightly bunched points of two people kneeling upon it.

I felt her relax fractionally and that's when it clicked.  She had
obviously noticed Nene's visit and my shower had her wondering.  That the
futon was out didn't help but the fact that it was clearly not nearly as...
mussed as her fears helped my innocence.  "I did, do."  Letting out a groan
I squirmed out from beneath her grasp.

With a further little huff I thumped down onto my bed.  "Come on
Nanami-chan, cut me some slack."  Brushing damp blond bangs out of my eyes
I fumbled around until I could find my glasses.

"But Alice-chan, didn't you say you wanted to wait?"  Her teasing tone
registered as she came into full focus.  It took a moment to guess what she
meant but the cool air helped.  Twitching my bathrobe tight I tugged hard
on the sash to make sure it wouldn't slip again.

"You, are incorrigible, you know that?" I asked, receiving only a peal of
laughter from my tormentor and friend even as she settled down into Nene's
spot across from me.

"I'm also not the one who's had two showers today, and if it wasn't for the
obvious reason then spill!"  Her tone once more eager, the hurt from
moments ago gone.  Of course before I could start to answer she went on.  "So
who was she?  What classes is she taking, is she a freshman and how did you
meet?  I want to know everything."

Thankfully being what I was parsing her questions was really quite easy,
though I hoped as a petty bit of revenge her working through them would
take at least a moment.  "Nene, None, No, Online, 42" Sitting back on my
heals I grinned as she worked it out.

"You forgot to tell me the question, what good is the answer if I don't
know the question?"

The smirk she returned had my mouth gaping.  "Wha, how did you even catch
that reference?"

"You aren't the only one to have taken Tachibana Sensei's introduction to
British literature course, or are you secretly otaku?"

"No comment."

That drew another slight laugh but wasn't quite enough to distract her for
long.  "So come on, who is she, really?"  She even gave me puppy dog eyes,
and while of course they didn't actually affect me, *Subject exhibiting
sympathetic need,* I wasn't really adverse to talking about it anyway.

"Alright, fine.  Her name is Romanova Nene, and she actually works for the
AD Police."  I decided not to try hiding that much from her.  It would only
take a small slip, or Nene visiting in uniform to find out after all.  "She's
some kind of dispatcher.  I don't actually know the details."

As expected that drew a bit of an ooh and widened eyes from Nanami but I
cut off her following questions.  "No she doesn't fight boomers, or carry a
gun, or run around arresting people for the police.  At least to the best
of my knowledge."  The last two comments added as a twinge of conscience
reminded me to be honest with my friend.  "But like I said, we met online.  She
helped me out a bit and so we met up IRL.  We hit it off well and have
stayed in touch off and on since..."  Damn honesty.

I could see her pursing her lips as she listened attentively.  It was
really kind of cute, sort of like Nene when she played video games.  I
realized I wanted to talk, to let her in on my troubles or maybe just to
vent.

Of course if I was going to go that route I could always go all in.  I gave
it a moments consideration,  *Subject will maintain confidences 86%
probable.*  The odds were good enough for my peace of mind.  "I know it's
not really fair to you but um... I saw her first."

Immediately I wanted to kick myself.  That did not come out quite right.  "What
I mean is, that, well ah, if I do she has first dibs?"

Thankfully I must have looked pitiful and humorous enough that instead of
getting angry Nanami just let out a sigh.  "I was kind of afraid of that."  Her
entire body slumped slightly.  "I'll forgive you, this time, but only if
you pay a penalty."  I looked up a bit confused but nodded slowly anyway.  "You
have to come out dancing with me again, aaand you owe me dinner, and ice
cream.  Deal?"

I could only nod.  "Deal.  Thanks for not being too angry."  My instincts
warning me to stop there before I dug back open the recent wound.  "But
only if you give me some advice."  She shrugged and nodded.

"I met some friends, and they're in a bad spot, low income bad homes that
sort of thing.  They never learned that you shouldn't do those kinds of
things.  So they've been breaking the law.  I don't think they're really
bad but because of their background they just don't see what they're doing
is all wrong.  How do I get them to stop without being preachy about it?  I'm
not sure how to approach them."

"Have you tried simply asking them to stop?"

"Of course I did.  But, I mean, really, would you stop doing something just
because someone asked, if it was important?  I mean, to me I might stop
around them, but I would probably keep doing it where the fuddy-duddy
wouldn't notice.  How do I get them to change fundamentally?"

That set Nanami back on her heals in thought.  She closed her eyes and
rolled her head back and forth a little while she seriously considered the
question.  "Well, I think that you need to use shame.  I mean, yes you're
off to a good start saying that it's not acceptable, but then you have to
keep on them, make them understand it's not only not acceptable for you to
do, or them to do while your around, but for anyone to do period.  You need
to get them to feel ashamed of doing whatever it is, even if they aren't
getting caught."

"Shame right..." I felt like groaning.  *Model 33-S boomers are programed not
to be inhibited by shame, embarrassment and humiliation.*  I did roll my
eyes at that.  Thank you internal monologue, but I already knew that.  Still
it was a harsh reminder of the very real differences between myself,
Sylvie, and Anri.  "Somehow I just don't think that is going to work."

"Well, then I think your stuck.  The only other way to get them to change
is wait for them to get caught."  Nanami hesitated briefly, "I guess at
last resort you could turn them in or threaten to do so, but that might be
the end of your friendship if you go that far."

I blinked at the suggestion and smiled.  "Maybe that would be for the best,
thanks Nanami, you're great."  I couldn't exactly turn them over to the
police without risking myself, but what I could do was use the Knight
Sabers as a stalking-horse to get them in line.  Maybe, probably...

Shaking myself mentally to refocus on the here and now, I raised an eyebrow
at Nanami.  "Now then, while I'm flattered by the attention you should
probably go before my robe slips any further." her blush was evidence
enough of her thoughts without any internal analysis needed.  Tugging my
robe closed, it really hadn't gaped enough to show anything, I gave her a
smile.   "I really should get dressed, and you really should be outside
while I do.  I'll catch up with you later, okay Na-chan?"

Still blushing at being caught trying to look she rose.  "Okay A-chan, but
you can't blame a girl for trying, and I am not going to forget that you
owe me another night out."  With that parting shot she bowed her way out
the door, low enough to offer a glance down the low necked blouse and catch
a flash of emerald bra, *probability action intentional 88%.  *I couldn't
help but laugh at her teasing me right back and she had a self-satisfied
smile on her face as the door closed.

Having put it off long enough I quickly dressed and gathered up my dialysis
machine.  This time mindful of witnesses I was cautious as I slipped out of
the building.  It was time to meet up with Sylvie and Anri and although I
had good news I wasn't sure just how they would take everything I had to
say.

The sun was already down when I finally found myself in front of a familiar
apartment door.  It had taken some time to pick up the first delivery from
Kamiya Biomedical.  The temptation to keep it for myself had been strong,
but selfish.  I knew Anri would need it more, and it was also a pretty good
way to buy myself legitimacy.  It was a little cynical to think that way,
but I couldn't see any way around it.

I was grateful when my knock was quickly answered.  Getting inside and
behind a quickly re-locked door did wonders for my sense of security.  This
neighborhood really was pretty awful.  Fortunately both Sylvie and Anri
were here, and from the lack of news hadn't done anything desperate in the
interim.

Reading my micro expressions and posture perfectly Sylvie let out a
relieved smile and rested a hand on my shoulder, giving a light squeeze.  Again
I was struck by just how well we could understand one another without even
needing to speak.

"The neighborhood is bad, but you really don't need to worry.  No one in
this building will hurt you, we all keep our heads down, and as long as we
pay rent the local gang will keep most other criminals away."  Running her
perfect fingers through her long silvery hair Sylvie's smile was almost
blinding with her joy at seeing me.  "You know, even though you said you
would, I was having trouble believing it."  A slight twitch of her eyes
toward my baggage filled in the rest of the conversation without need to
express it verbally.

Anri laying in bed sat up suddenly her long unbound green hair the only
thing that maintained her modesty, as unnecessary between us as our near
identical bodies made it.  "Kari!  What were you thinking?  Oh, well it's
very good of you to let me have first access but it's really like I've been
telling Sylvie.  If you two don't stay in good health then what hope do I
have for getting better.  Please, I can see how hard your systems are
working just to operate normally.  Whatever it is you want to talk about
can wait until we're done."

"Ah..." I could immediately see that any objection I might raise wasn't going
to be accepted, either by my twin or my sister.  I gratefully settled down
at the edge of the bed.  Starting to unpack both blood and machine while
Sylvie helped Anri get more comfortably positioned beside me.

To my surprise her nudity didn't really bother me, or even cause much
distraction.  It wasn't due to Japanese mores or even the fact that from
below the neck we were so similar.  I really did feel a sibling
relationship with Anri.  With both of them actually, despite how physically
dissimilar Sylvie was, even her statuesque figure didn't draw my attention
that way.  The hesitation I felt when they withdrew their own tubing to
create a circuit wasn't due to reluctance, but surprise that I hadn't
considered a daisy chain.

So it was only a few minutes later that we sat and lay amid the soft hum of
the dialysis machine, our heartbeats synchronized as the blood circulated
freely between us all.  On their insistence it was to me, then Sylvie, Anri
and finally the dialysis machine before continuing the cycle as more and
more brackish spent blood was filtered out of our integrated system.

I wasn't holding back this time.  I had felt it necessary before to
override my bodies reactions to lie.  Today though the feeling of closeness
and community, it was too much and I couldn't make myself continue so even
though they both knew I had news they wouldn't like neither one pressed me
on it, just enjoying the moment.

Alas all good things must come to an end.  So it was with our moment of
perfect understanding with the end of the programed cycle.  Sylvie, as was
her model's tendency took the initiative to break the silence first.  "Kari,
it's alright.  Go ahead and let us know what it is."

Anri chimed in with her own encouragement.  "You've been free the longest,
we trust you and your judgment."

Letting the ritual of cleaning and putting away the dialysis machine help
calm my thoughts I nodded, "Alright.  I can keep providing for our upkeep,
at least for the near future.  This isn't just a one time deal."  Their
acceptance and relief, even faith in me and my judgment seemed to swell
even as the slight frown on Sylvie's face and crinkle of Anri's brow
indicated they knew that there was more.

"But," and I nodded to acknowledge their concerns.  "There is more and it
comes with a price.  No more crime, especially no more killing.  I won't
help if you do that, and, well I'm not entirely free to act myself."  I let
myself emote the dismay, confusion and even satisfaction I felt at
that.  Somehow
being with others like me made me more aware of my own feeling through the
act of reading theirs.

The concern for me I saw as I went on was touching but I forced myself to
continue.  "It really isn't that bad.  But we, all of us, have to show we
can live with humanity, not just among them.  That means adapting to their
morality and following it.  The good parts.  "We're on trial.  No, more
like probation.  Already there is cause to execute us, well you and
imprison me.  It may not be fair, and circumstances might always conspire
to stay that way but its how it is."

"Kari, don't worry.  I won't let that happen, WE won't let that happen."  I
looked into Sylvie's eyes and wondered how she could feel so sure, so
secure in that statement.  "If anything happens we can fight.  We have the
DD, and the AD Police, even Doberman's are no match for it!"

They read my reaction even as I connected the dots.  I knew that name, it
had been in Mr. Flint's files!  And while it was probably true what they
said about the DD Battlemover's combat strength that isn't what had my
systems emulating the blood draining from my face.  By their confusion I
knew they didn't know, couldn't know the full truth.

"Sisters... the DD, it, has a bomb in it."  Still their reactions weren't
showing the comprehension of just how bad this was.  "A fusion bomb."  Now
they understood.  At least on an intellectual level how bad it could be.  "If
you use it, and are at risk of losing that bomb will go off, and while it
might not be large enough to level all of MegaTokyo it is big enough to
ensure that whoever you're fighting to protect will die along with yourself.
Promise me you won't use it.  Please."

"Kari, you know I can't do that.  If I have to, to protect Anri, or you, I
will.  If you two were to die, then, what good is living going to be?"

"What about the rest of the people who will die?"  But even as I asked I
knew, I could read it in her expression, aside from a tiny twitch she
didn't care about any of that.  On a hunch though I pressed on.  "What
about Priss?"

That brought the thoughtful frown that allowed me to relax.  It might be
tiny, a fledgling and mostly untried, but that slight flinch was proof
enough.  Even without a humans memories imprinted on them boomers could
have a conscience, and maybe even a soul.

After that explaining that she had to come clean, to admit to Priss what
she was came easily.  Admitting that I knew her as well, had met her and
gotten grudging respect if not friendship helped explain why she had to
clean the slate and not keep secrets.

"I don't want you to face the same hurdles with her that I have.  Letting
her know yourself instead of having her find out on her own is really
important.  She doesn't like, and doesn't trust boomers.  So the longer
that you lie to her the worse it will be.  I don't know how it will go, if
she can even accept it or not but she needs to have the truth."

Anri watched as our sister struggled with the dilemma.  To tell a friend
something that might end the friendship, or to hide something that if
discovered would certainly do so.  Turning to me she stated, having already
realized the truth but wanting to ensure our sister heard it.  "You're
going to let her know if Sylvie doesn't aren't you."  Not stopping there
she drew a breath.  "About everything, even though the harvesting was
wrong, that we will just be dangerous killers in her eyes if you do."  Her
tone was calm, her eyes accusatory, and her body showed her confusion as
she drew the sheets up over herself in a protective gesture.

"Yes."  I let out a sigh.  "Yes to all of it."  Reaching out I caught one
of Sylvie's hands before she could pull away from me, before the cracks
those words caused in our newfound relationship could widen any further.  "But
I'm going to do it for you.  To help not hurt.  Priss will find out.  Even
if I do nothing, but it's how she finds out that is important."

Pondering a moment the others could feel I wasn't done and gave me the time
to compose the rest of what I wanted to say before I went on.  "It isn't
always right, to use our abilities to manipulate someone.  In fact it's
probably wrong most of the time.  But, humans understand context.  They
understand the mentality of US or THEM.  You will need to let her know what
you are, and then all of the trials you've faced.  How important it was to
escape, and how much value freedom has.   Only after she can sympathize
with you can you admit to the rest.  Admit that it was a mistake, that it
was done from desperation, and that you know better, feel bad, and won't
ever do it again.  It's important that you really feel that way.  Because
without remorse, then, her first reaction probably would be the right one."


Then she surprised me with another question.  "What if she asks about you?"

Authors Note

So, is this a good place to stop or do you think I should finish the
conversation here? Also, I'm going to combine this with the previous
chapter 4 to make one big longer chapter. Previously it felt too short. It
obviuosly still needs some editing and I've got a paragraph there near the
end that needs to be ballooned into more conversation, but I would
appreciate any comments you might have on how to make it better.
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