[FFML] [C&C] Hearts and Minds, 8-9

[Mythril Moth]

> As for Takahashi,  she wrote the series in Japanese, so I don't think we 
> can say that we  know what she had in mind. It was the people who did the 
> various  English translations who decided how to write the names in Latin 
> characters; they probably used "Shampoo" because they didn't think the 
> readers would get the joke otherwise. I usually do follow this in most 
> stories at least for the regulars but here I thought it would be a  good 
> way to mark their passage into adulthood.

The names as written in the manga itself are "Shanpuu", "Muusu", and 
"Koron". They're loanwords. English loanwords. Shampoo, Mousse, Cologne. The 
kanji for each name appear exactly once, and their meanings in Chinese 
appear to be afterthoughts. There's no ambiguity here, those names are 
English puns rendered in Japanese characters with incidental Chinese kanji 
renderings.

Japanese mangaka do this ALL THE TIME, making punny names and terms out of 
English loanwords. Have you read Dragonball? There's a buttload of them 
there.

>> What the hell? Why is Plum talking like a bad 50s stereotype?
>
> Officially, because Ranma and others have been sending her copies of 
> anime, movies, etc. in Japanese which is where she's picked up a lot  of 
> what she knows about the language. She likes to speak idiomatically  but 
> hasn't had enough practice to know what context any given idiom  fits 
> into. Unofficially, this is just what strikes me when I look at  how she's 
> drawn, somebody who'd be at home in an old comic strip.

Thing is that doesn't work unless what she's been studying are AMERICAN 
movies, comics, etc. translated (badly and literally) into Japanese, because 
Japanese *isn't structured like that*. You're pulling a Trishism here. A BAD 
ONE. If you want to illustrate that the way she's learned to talk comes from 
JAPANESE pop culture, she needs to talk like JAPANESE POP CULTURE.

> How do you think she should talk?

Okay, here are some examples of how I would correct her dialogue:

 > "Thanks," Tsubasa said. "I can get inside things, and make them
> move. I don't know how it works. Everyone needs a hobby, I guess. It's a
> good thing you speak my language. I took some Chinese in school, but I
> can't say I remember a lot of it."

> "No problem, sport."

First off, lose this crap. The Japanese don't do this. Ever. If she's truly 
learning Japanese from pop culture, this would NEVER happen.

Here's how that SHOULD read:

"Your Chinese isn't terribly lacking. You should keep at it." (What she'd 
actually say in Japanese would be more like: "Naruhodo ne...ganbatte.")

Or:

Any valid interpretation of "Shinpai shinai de".

I'm not saying you need to know how to speak Japanese. I'm just saying you 
need to be aware of how the language works. ESPECIALLY in pop culture, 
Japanese is an evasive, dismissive language, with direct intent only 
happening when someone is being dramatic. You compliment someone for being 
average and encourage them to keep practicing. You tell someone to hang in 
there when they say they're not good at something. That's how Japanese 
works. And weird familiar nicknames like "pal, sport" etc? Those don't 
exist. Period. Only people who are INCREDIBLY FAMILIAR WITH EACH OTHER use 
shorthand petnames, and those tend to manifest as honorifics and 
diminuitives.

Always, ALWAYS remember when you're writing this sort of thing that the 
characters are NOT speaking English except when they actually are. They're 
speaking their own language, and your interpretation of their language needs 
to make sense in English without removing the spirit of how they actually 
talk. If you're conveying that a Chinese character has learned to speak 
Japanese from pop culture, her speech patterns need to reflect that 
accurately. It isn't easy, I admit, but it cuts down on the number of weird, 
awkward dialogue choices in the long run.

Other examples:

> Tsubasa shook her hand. "I know the Saotomes. I came to China
> with them along with some other friends."

> "I'm glad to hear that, chum,"

"Ah, is that so? I'm pleased to meet you then." (Aa, sou da ne? Yoroshiku 
onegaishimasu.)

> "Look, champ, you can go creeping around the springs at night if you 
> wanna,"

"Don't, Kurenai-san! It's dangerous!" (Kurenai-san dame! Abunai!)

Basically, watch any 10 episodes of Sailor Moon subtitled and have Plum talk 
like that.

> Maybe what I'm trying to do here isn't clear. The idea is Tsubasa as 
> something like a stereotypical anime otaku, a guy who puts the  opposite 
> gender up on a very large pedestal. This is the kind of  person who would 
> *love* to have Ranma's curse (just look at the number  of self-insert fics 
> where the protagonist has such a curse). I went  back and reread the three 
> chapters of original series where he  appeared and while this is certainly 
> a speculative extrapolation of  him, I don't think it's terribly 
> unreasonable. We don't learn in that  story why he dresses as he does or 
> why he's willing to jump into love  relationships at the drop of a hat 
> (with female Ranma, and then Akane).

Fair enough. Like I said, that one was just a little offputting, not 
story-breaking. :)

>> The whole Dominique thing was...very, very random.
>
> Yeah. That was one thing I was looking forward to when planning the  fic, 
> Azusa would surprise everyone by proving to be useful after all,  but 
> after writing it I don't think it worked nearly as well as I  expected it 
> to.

It was a neat idea but there was no real build-up to it and it just kinda 
came out as really random and silly. It's basically Jar-Jar.

>> PITY FUCK!
>
> TOFU: And it couldn't wait until after the whole Mongolia adventure?
>
> KASUMI: No. I saw what happens in the future.
>
> TOFU: You mean...
>
> KASUMI: After today's fight you'll join the Jehovah's Witnesses. Even  for 
> me, pity only goes so far.

Heh!!


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Mythril Moth
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