[FFML] [C&C] Hearts and Minds, 8-9

[Gary Kleppe]

Mythril Moth <mythrilmoth at mythrilmoth.net> wrote:


> Sorry it's late, I keep distracting myself with other things. ^^;;


Not at all; definitely better late than never. :)


> First, I'll address my biggest complaint about HaM, which is a  
> personal pet peeve of mine in fanfiction: attempting to "legitimize"  
> the names of Chinese characters from the series/original characters  
> with the same naming themes. Takahashi was punning off English and  
> coming up with credible Chinese interpretations of the names as an  
> afterthought, so the best thing a writer can do is just stick to  
> what Takahashi did. But every writer has their own style, and far be  
> it from me to tell any writer YOU MUST CHANGE THIS OR  
> DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!! It's just a pet peeve.


No problem. I've got plenty of those myself. :)

I tend to think of the names as like the fictional firm of Dewey,  
Cheatham, and Howe. Obviously whoever came up with this meant it as  
"Do we cheat 'em and how" and came up with English names that  
approximated that. But if you wrote it like that, it wouldn't be  
funny; the humor lies in the fact that the first spelling sounds like  
it could be a real law firm (or some other type). As for Takahashi,  
she wrote the series in Japanese, so I don't think we can say that we  
know what she had in mind. It was the people who did the various  
English translations who decided how to write the names in Latin  
characters; they probably used "Shampoo" because they didn't think the  
readers would get the joke otherwise. I usually do follow this in most  
stories at least for the regulars but here I thought it would be a  
good way to mark their passage into adulthood.


>> "No problem, sport."
>> "I'm glad to hear that, chum,"
>
> What the hell? Why is Plum talking like a bad 50s stereotype?


Officially, because Ranma and others have been sending her copies of  
anime, movies, etc. in Japanese which is where she's picked up a lot  
of what she knows about the language. She likes to speak idiomatically  
but hasn't had enough practice to know what context any given idiom  
fits into. Unofficially, this is just what strikes me when I look at  
how she's drawn, somebody who'd be at home in an old comic strip.

How do you think she should talk? I can't see her doing pidgin like  
her dad, except as a fake for the tourists. She obviously learned  
Japanese at a very young age, given that she was fluent enough to  
visit Japan on her own and converse intelligibly with the Ranma gang.  
People who learn a language early on generally end up speaking it  
without that much of an accent. I haven't seen what Viz did with Vol.  
37. With the New Ranma Project it varied with different authors.


> *facehoof*
>
> There are, incidentally, all kinds of things wrong with this  
> interpretation of Tsubasa, but after a year on FiMFiction I'm tired  
> of fighting the "randomly comes out" fight, so I'll let it slide.  
> Suffice to say that Tsubasa's ultimate goal of being a lesbian here  
> is awkward and  difficult to accept at best.


Maybe what I'm trying to do here isn't clear. The idea is Tsubasa as  
something like a stereotypical anime otaku, a guy who puts the  
opposite gender up on a very large pedestal. This is the kind of  
person who would *love* to have Ranma's curse (just look at the number  
of self-insert fics where the protagonist has such a curse). I went  
back and reread the three chapters of original series where he  
appeared and while this is certainly a speculative extrapolation of  
him, I don't think it's terribly unreasonable. We don't learn in that  
story why he dresses as he does or why he's willing to jump into love  
relationships at the drop of a hat (with female Ranma, and then Akane).

I'd really like to hear some more opinions on this. I could cut this  
part but it would pretty much mean writing Tsubasa out of the whole  
story.


>> "How long are you going to keep us held up at gunpoint?" she said,
>> a little louder than usual so that you-know-who would hear it.
>
> That little narrative break right there is awkward. Suggest  
> replacing "you-know-who" with "the duck". Or "Mousse" (or whatever  
> spelling of his name tickles your fancy).


I'll think about this.

> The whole Dominique thing was...very, very random.


Yeah. That was one thing I was looking forward to when planning the  
fic, Azusa would surprise everyone by proving to be useful after all,  
but after writing it I don't think it worked nearly as well as I  
expected it to.


>>  "I don't know," Nabiki said. "You tell me. Did you sell us out, Akane?"
>
> WOW. Nabiki can't SERIOUSLY think this...


Um... projection? The circumstantial evidence is there, and there  
isn't an alternative explanation at the moment....


>> But until then, just for now, she would do something for
>> herself, and for the one who'd been waiting for her for so many years.
>
> PITY FUCK!

TOFU: And it couldn't wait until after the whole Mongolia adventure?

KASUMI: No. I saw what happens in the future.

TOFU: You mean...

KASUMI: After today's fight you'll join the Jehovah's Witnesses. Even  
for me, pity only goes so far.


> And as usual, a juicy cliffhanger ending.
>
> All in all, two excellent chapters, apart from the things I noted  
> above. Looking forward to the finale!

Thanks much for the commentary! I don't know if we'll agree on some of  
these things, but I'll definitely give what you say some thought.