[FFML] [Sailor Moon, SMZ Continuity] Survivors

[John Biles]

This story was inspired by a note on the TV Tropes page for this story.
***************

	Tsunami was on fire.  A coppery haired maniac was  shooting everyone
who tried to escape, so I huddled in the wreckage of my dorm despite
the flames, a cloth over my mouth, praying someone would save me.

	But no one came; I could hear the gunfire getting closer, the heat
sucking the life out of me, smoke trying to get through the cloth, the
smell of ashes, ashes everywhere.

	Then the earthquake started, the ground shaking, chunks of the
building shaking and something had grabbed my shoulders and was
shouting at me.

	And then I woke up; it was my roommate, Nanawara Kimiko.  She’s still
a skinny tall blonde at eighteen.  Probably will be forever, I guess.
She braids her hair now, though at night, it’s unbound, spilling
around her shoulders and down her chest and back.

	“Meiko, it’s okay, you’re safe,” she said kindly, folding me in her
arms and sitting with me while I cried.

	If I still did this as often as I did when I first lost my family,
she would have probably dumped me like my boyfriend did.  Damn you,
Youta.

	I’m a burden to her and I hate it, but she sticks with me through
everything.  Even my worst days.

	I think some of it is that we remember.  The monster rampage.  The
campus being trashed.  But all the evidence is gone and everything got
fixed so fast… Sometimes, I think I must be crazy.  If I didn’t have
Kimiko, I would be crazy.

	Everyone I tell about it either thinks I am crazy or gets mad at me.
Well, there are a few others, who don’t do that.  But not many.

	It’s only the things on that final crazy day that got fixed.  They’re
building a new apartment building where my family used to live, but it
stayed destroyed.

	My family stayed dead.

	Of course, my family was killed by a human, a madman with a gun and
bombs and grenades, not monsters.

	I shouldn’t have to wish monsters had done it; monsters haven’t done
as much damage as one lunatic human.  Who never got caught.

	I shivered and leaned on Kimiko.  “It happened again.”

	“It’s okay, Meiko,” Kimiko said softly.  Her hand moved up and down my back.

	There was a knock on the door.  “You guys okay in there?”  It was our
RA, Aino Minako.  I now wanted to die for waking her up.

	“It was just a nightmare,” I shouted.

	She came in anyway, wearing a long shirt down to her knees.  Why make
a shirt that large, anyway?  Kimiko gave her a jealous glance; I think
she envies Minako’s figure.  I’m happy with my body; it’s my mind that
I wish I could fix.

	There’s something about Minako that makes you feel everything is
going to be okay while she’s there and I soon relaxed as she came over
and sat down in my desk chair, facing us.  “The campus burning again?”
she said softly.

	“Yes,” I said, my face still mostly buried in Kimiko’s shoulder.

	She didn’t say anything about the Sailor Senshi this time; I know
they’re real, but they didn’t save my family; I can’t count on them.
I mean, intellectually, I know they can’t be everywhere at once.  But
if knowing made me better, I’d be fine.

	I don’t *feel* I can rely on them.

	Anyway, I chewed her face off nearly a year ago about them and Minako
never mentions them around me any more.  “I’d do anything if it would
make you feel better.  You know that, right?”  Her voice ached and she
kind of… crumpled in on herself.  The way I do when I have these
dreams.

	She and her boyfriend and her bestfriend and the boyfriend of said
best friend have kind of a reputation for being rather slutty.  So I
sometimes think when she says that, she’s offering sex but I am
probably flattering myself, and I don’t want sex with a girl, anyway.

	*Wham*  I heard the sound of someone walking into a wall.  “I hate
being tired,” Himeko mumbled.  She’s Minako’s roommate.

	“Go to bed, Himeko,” Minako said, sounding tired.  “I’ve got this.”

	“It’s okay,” Himeko said. “You’ll wake me up when you come back
anyway.”  She now stumbled in her lime green pajamas into the room;
she’s still short-haired and kind of skinny and boyish.  But much
shorter than Kimiko.  And she remembers too.

	They all sat with me until I was recovered enough to go to bed.  I’m
grateful for that.  Minako can be a total flake, but she’s really
dedicated to all of us.  When she’s here, anyway.  She sometimes
vanishes most of the weekend and I don’t know how she avoids getting
in trouble for it.

	Eventually, sleep reclaimed me and I dreamed of trying to make sushi.
 But morning came soon enough with its own problems.

*****************

Survivors

A Sailor Moon Fanfic
(Part of my Sailor Moon Z Continuity, 2 Years Later)

by John Biles

*****************

	 “Eighteen days. Good,” Meiou Setsuna said to me; she’s the school
counselor; my aunt and uncle secretly sent me to a Naikan center for a
while after my family died.  But it just got me to where I could see
my problems but didn’t really help me get over them.

	“I’d rather it never happen again,” I told her.  I don’t know what
the formal name is for Counsellor Meiou’s method.  But sometimes she
helps.  And sometimes I get pissed off at her.  Then usually find out
she wanted me to.

	I won’t pretend I understand her, but she’s trying to help me, at
least.  Unlike a lot of people at this school.

	And her husband and his daughter have been very kind to me.

	“You are making progress.  One day, the nightmares will become very
rare.  I can’t promise you they will never come back, especially when
you are stressed.  But I can promise you that eventually, you will be
free of fear as much as anyone else.  Because everyone succumbs to
their fears sometimes.”  Her voice was stern as usual, though I could
hear her voice wobble; she’s trying to be kind.  She’s just not good
at it, except with her family.

	“I can’t imagine you having nightmares,” I told her, forcing myself
to put my arms down.  If I am not careful, sometimes I just crumple up
in a ball even when I have no reason to be afraid.  “You’re not afraid
of anything.”

	“I have been to the funerals of many I have cared about,” she said
firmly, studying her wedding ring, which is odd, given her husband is
not dead.  “I have seen death many times.  I have held the dying.  And
I am a mother who must worry about her children,” she continued. “One
day, if you have children, you will worry about them any time you
cannot see them.  It is part of being a parent.”

	“I don’t want kids,” I told her.  I used to want kids one day but
now… I can’t help seeing them burning.  I started to crumple and made
myself relax.

	“I never thought I would want children again,” she said softly.  “But
you have the right to not have children if you don’t want to and
certainly it’s not a decision you have to make yet.”

	I haven’t had a real boyfriend since Youta; most of the boys think
I’m crazy now and sometimes, when I kiss someone, I feel like they’re
going to die and I can’t stand it.

	“Friends are more important for you now,” Meiou-san said.  “How are
things with your friends?”

	“I still have a hard time with a lot of the people I used to hang out
with, but Kimiko still puts up with me and the Judo Club is a lot of
fun and I’m glad I joined it.  But I’m not close to anyone but Kimiko.
 A lot of people I know who… who know… are kind of… I don’t know how
to describe it.  Busy getting ready for college exams, and so on.”
Naru and her friends are friendly but no one can get too close to
them, really.

	I think they know more about this than I do but I’m afraid to ask.

	“Why does everyone try to hide from what happened?” I asked bitterly.

	“They are not as brave and honest as you are,” Meiou-san said to me;
I felt a little better.  “And they have not suffered your loss.  Once
you have seen death, you cannot simply forget it.”

	“I…”  Then I decided not to bring up Minako.  She was tired, anyway.
And Minako can get silly when she’s not tired.

	Meiou-san waited patiently and I changed tracks.  “I wish I could
forget,” I said.  “That I could just take some pill and forget this
happened.”

	“I know.  But it wouldn’t be healthy.  I wish I could make it better
for you, but that takes time.  But remember, you can always call me if
things are too bad and you can’t handle it,” she said.

	Fortunately, the panic attacks are rarer than they used to be.

	It’s why I can go to school and more or less function now.

	Thankfully.

****************

	Kino Makoto comes sometimes to Judo Club; she’s busy with homework
and her friends and everything but she comes sometimes.  Much to my
glee, I successfully threw her when she came at me and rolled to my
feet.  Our sensei nodded approvingly and I smiled.

	Every time I throw someone, I feel a little better.  Like I can
actually *control* something.

	Kino-san is a great fighter, but she’s more of a karate and tae kwon
do person, so I’m actually better than her at this.  And that feels
good, given how tough she is.  Sometimes I worry she lets me win, but
I’ve seen Hikaru throw her too.

	Speaking of whom, I had to face her next; I can’t pretend I
understand Hikaru at all; sometimes she’s nice, sometimes she’s mean
and sometimes she’s just strange.  But here… she’s all business.

	I moved in carefully and WHAM, there I went.  I tried again and she
soon had me pinned on the mat.  I managed to trip her but she
recovered and threw me; I nearly landed on Tadawa-san.

	Then she said, “You need to practice more.”  As if she was queen of
Judo.  I think in her heart, she’s queen of *everything*.

	She has a boyfriend and I can’t see what Segawa-san sees in her.

	He showed up at the end and kissed her and they went off together
while I grumbled; he’s a tennis player, dark haired, kind of cute, not
really my type.  I just object to an ass like her having a boyfriend.

	“Hey, I have leftover pie that needs eating,” Kino-san said to me.
“You want to come eat at my place?”

	“Usagi didn’t eat it all?” I said in shock.
		
	“I made it for a bake sale and now I have 12 extra pies,” she said,
laughing nervously.  “I kind of overdid it.”

	I can’t argue with pie.

****************

	I’m kind of jealous she has her own place but I’d spend all my time
terrified that someone would set it on fire.  But Kino-san basically
can whip anything’s ass.

	Except me at Judo.  She could take me down easily if she used her
karate, I expect.

	Snapper, rice, beans, carrots, and pie.  A good meal.  And tea.  She
has maybe twenty kinds and let me pick one.

	I inhaled dinner; judo makes me hungry and her cooking is *so good*.
She didn’t seem to mind, just smiling at me as I ate.  Around the time
dessert came out, Hotaru showed up; her father is Meiou-san’s husband,
but her mother died when she was little.

	She gave me a big hug and I smiled at her.  She *understands* what
losing your family is like, even if she has her father.  She gives me
hope one day I’ll be over this.  As much as you ever can.

	“I heard there was going to be pie.  Which means we must eat quickly
before the horde descends,” Hotaru said.

	“I told Usagi to come at six thirty,” Kino-san said.  “We have time
to ensure Miyamoto-san gets all the pie she wants, since she defeated
me.”

	“You have to show me how,” Hotaru said to me.  “She always whips me.”

	“Well, she had to stick to Judo and I actually have more training
than her,” I told Hotaru.

	“You can teach me, then,” Hotaru said.

	I rubbed my forehead.  “Really?”

	“Yes, I could do with more self-defense if I end up unarmed,” Hotaru
said, then sat down to have some pie.

	I ate too much pie, really, and then Hotaru wanted me to show her and
I got a little sick and was lying on the couch when half the
population of Tsunami swamed into Kino-san’s apartment and began
perching everywhere they could find room to eat pie.

	“Meiko, what’s wrong?” Naru asked me worriedly.  She had her hair
tied back with a blue scarf today and as always, wore the most
beautiful jewelry.  I have a ring she gave me that I always wear, with
my birthstone, an emerald.  She’s very into astrology, silly as it is.
 I am a Taurus, not that it means anything.

	“I ate pie, then tried to teach Hotaru judo,” I said, moaning.

	Hotaru sat by the couch, looking a little green herself.  “She’s
going to teach me.”

	“Another time, when I have no pie in me,” I moaned.

	Naru dug in her purse and pulled out a bottle of pink liquid.  Pepto.
 “This will help.”

	“Kino-san already gave me some, thank you,” I told her, smiling
weakly.  Naru-san, for all her blah, blah, star sign, blah, is rather
practical and plans ahead, ready for everything.

	“I expect she’ll run out by the end of this,” Naru said.  She sat
down on the end of the couch.  “Hotaru, do… I guess you don’t need it
either.”

	“Usagi, you need to leave pie for *everyone*,” Hino-san  said
sharply, somewhere.  I can’t see the kitchen or half the living room
from here.

	“Has anyone seen Meiko?” Kimiko asked, somewhere near Hino-san.
“Tsukino, you look like a three year old.”

	“Six,” Usagi insisted and I couldn’t help but laugh.  Kimiko really
dislikes Usagi, who isn’t as serious as she is.  Hino-san and Usagi
both started laughing.

	“I’m over here!” I shouted.  “I ate too much pie!”

	Kimiko raced out to me, reached into her purse, saw Naru holding
Pepto and stopped.  “Hi, Naru, I see we thought in unison.”

	They both laughed and I smiled.  Despite my sickly stomach, I wish my
life was more like this.  I felt good, despite my worries and fears
sometimes.

	“Hey, we’re going dancing if you want to come, on Friday,” Kimiko
said hopefully to Naru.  She and Naru… it’s complicated.

	Naru was Usagi’s best friend, then Usagi kind of dumped her for her
current gang and Kimiko and Naru got close, but then suddenly Naru
became part of Usagi’s crew and Kimiko kind of got shut out.

	The thing, though, is I can tell Naru would like to see Kimiko more
but her other stuff takes precedence.  I guess she really missed
Usagi.  Which I can understand.

	Naru consulted a small red book from her purse, then said, “I will
need to be home by eleven but I can do it for a while.  We have an
early morning study session.”

	I should be studying more for entrance exams but I find it hard to
care enough.  I keep worrying I’ll just die anyway.

	Kimiko will likely be able to go anywhere.  But she’ll go where I go.
 I feel guilty about that sometimes.

	But not enough to tell her not to.  I need her.  She is a rock and I
need a rock.

	Kimiko smiled brightly.

	“You can come too, Hotaru,” Kimiko said.

	“Cool!” Hotaru said.  “I’ll see if Derek can come.”  He’s her
boyfriend.  American, I think.  He’s seriously weird and probably too
old for her and stupidly hot and I’m not jealous at all.  Not too
jealous.

	I like going dancing, though I often end up getting drunker than I
should and making out with some guy before Kimiko drags me off.  I
shouldn’t do it but I feel so… it feels more like it did before my
family died.

	“Oh god, my spleen,” Usagi wailed.

	“I told you this would happen!” Hino-san said angrily.

	“I am pretty sure that eating pie won’t affect your spleen,”
Mizuno-san said off in the kitchen with them.  “The spleen filters
your blood and helps your immune system.”

	“It didn’t make me immune to tummy ache,” Usagi moaned.

	Kimiko snorted.  “Idiot,” she grumbled.  “Naru, you’d better save her.”

	Naru nodded and ran to the kitchen.

	“Hey,” Hotaru said, started to stand, then sighed and sat back down.

	“What?” I asked her.

	“Nothing,” she said, sighing.

	Then a pink haired girl, maybe a touch younger than me, walked into
the place; I had never seen her before, but she looked oddly familiar.
 She had *red eyes*.  The hell?  And long pink hair in two big
pony-tails, one from each side of her head.  A purple sweatband
circled her head, under her bangs.  A cowboy hat perched on her head;
she wore a long blue tunic and leggings and high boots and five
crosses on gold chains and she was a *fashion disaster*.  I say this
as someone who doesn’t care much about what I wear any more.

	“Chibi-Usa, is that you?” Hotaru said, stunned.

	“Hotaru!” she said; she had looked pissed off but now she turned and
smiled so brightly.  Then she raced over and hugged Hotaru.  “Hotaru,
Hotaru, Hotaru!  You’re so big!”

	“You’re so big too!” Hotaru said enthusiastically.

	In fact, they’re both short and ‘Chibi-Usa’ wasn’t flat, but she was
built about like Usagi.  In fact, she kind of looked like Usagi if you
dyed her hair, put red contacts on her and then had her choose
clothing while blindfolded.

	“Check out this belt!” Chibi-Usa said proudly; it was brown leather
with a huge golden buckle shaped like… some blobby thing I don’t
recognize.  “Aunt… umm…”  She now seemed to realize she was surrounded
by a mob of pie eaters.

	“Your cousin is in the kitchen; no one told me you were coming!”
Hotaru said.  “Meiko, this is Usagi’s cousin Usagi, who we call
‘Chibi-Usa’ because she used to be shorter than Usagi.  We’ve been
good friends for a long time, but she had to go home and I haven’t
seen her in *years*.”

	“Where are you from?” I asked her curiously.

	“Osaka,” Hotaru said.

	“Texas,” Chibi-Usa said.

	They looked at each other in consternation and I laughed.

	“So you live in Texas now?” I said. “That’s… in the States, right?”

	“Yes,” Chibi-Usa said. “I didn’t realize there would be a giant
party, or I would have brought something.”

	“You two can go catch up,” I said.  “I’m sure you must have a lot to
talk about.”  I sighed.  But I don’t want to be selfish.

	“Chibi-Usa, this is my friend Miyamoto Meiko,” Hotaru said. “We can
talk later.  I’m not going to abandon you here, sick.”  Her stomach
grumbled. “Especially not when I might throw up on Chibi-Usa.”

	“Is the pie that good?” Chibi-Usa asked dubiously.

	“Mako-chan made it,” Hotaru said.

	Chibi-Usa’s eyes lit up.  “Pie, here I come!” She ran off drooling a
little and I laughed.

	“I guess I’m imaginary,” Kimiko said, frowning.

	“I am so sorry,” Hotaru said, now embarrassed. “I’ll introduce her to
everyone when she gets back.”

	“What are *you* doing here?” Usagi asked in horror.  “And how did you
get so *old*?”

	“Old?  You’re the old maid!” Chibi-Usa said angrily.  “Mako-chan, I
need *pie*.”

	“Hmm,” Kimiko said, listening to Usagi and Chibi-Usa bicker.  I think
she hopes she’s found an ally in her anti-Usagi crusade.

	I wish she’d just let it go.

	I like Usagi and I don’t like fighting with Kimiko over it.

	“How’s your program coming, Hotaru?” Kimiko asked.

	Hotaru was in a coma for a while; she is our age physically but
mentally, she’s younger due to losing several years before we met her.
 So Udaigaku-sensei built this fancy computer to teach her in a
special course because she if she tried to attend eighth grade with
the body she has… Well, it would be trouble.

	Boys that age are pretty crazy.

	“Boring but it’s coming along. The labwork is fun.  I wish I could
take classes with everyone but I’m so behind,” she said, wearily.
“And everyone’s going to graduate after this year.”

	“Well, we’ll still be here in Tokyo,” Gurio-san said, startling both
of us.  “Is Naru-chan here?”  He’s her boyfriend.

	“Gurio-kun!” Kimiko said cheerfully.  “She’s in the kitchen, pumping
Usagi’s stomach.”

	“Oh, goddess, I feel sick,” Chibi-Usa moaned.

	“It’s revenge!  Heavenly revenge!” Usagi moaned.

	“You two are both insane,” Hino-san said wearily.

	“Mako-chan’s pies are just so *good*,” Chibi-Usa announced.  Then she
made a hideous noise and Hino-san wailed in frustration and I could
not blame her at all.

	Some things run in families, I guess.

***************

	Chibi-Usa was still wearing the cowboy hat and boots on Friday but
had matched them with a green blouse and skirt and only wore one gold
cross.  But now she had a gold ankh too, matching Hotaru’s.

	She, Hotaru, and Derek met up with Naru and Gurio and Kimiko and
myself at the gates of the school.  We’d all dressed up; not that I
have much to dress up with.  All my old clothing burned with my
family.

	We were busy chatting as we headed down to Club Luscious, which
despite the stupid name, is pretty popular with students at our school
and with some college students too.  They can drink and we can’t; you
get a hand stamp; in practice, if you want to get drunk, it’s really
easy to get drinks from a guy.

	“Anyway, so I was riding down to the south fields to check one of the
oil wells,” Chibi-Usa said.  “It was a hot summer day and Dapple was
kind of jumpy.  That usually means troubles, so I got my six shooters
out.”

	I am pretty sure she makes up everything she tells us about Texas
because no one’s life could be *that* crazy.

	“And here come some cattle rustlers!  Fortunately, the cows were on
the *north* forty but we didn’t want them stealing our oil either.”
She waved around finger-guns like a cowboy movie.

	And then we came up alongside an electronics store; the window was
full of  a new model of TV sets and they *all* showed a roaring
bonfire.  I felt my gut clench and I ran in a sudden panic.  Right
through a busy street with cars honking and swerving; I could have
died right there but I didn’t care.  All I could think was *FIRE*.

	“MEIKO!” Kimiko shouted, tried to cross, but didn’t dare.

	I fled off down into an alley and ran until I found a dumpster and
then I clambered up and flipped into it.  Fortunately, it was full of
padding and plastic and bubblepack or I probably would have hurt
myself.  Lucky for once.

	I could hear them calling me and I tried to get their attention but I
was shivering and seeing the apartment building burning and I couldn’t
stop crying.

	I’m not normally this bad.  Not now.

	But that damn dream made it all seem fresher again.

	And then red eyes and pink hair peeked over the edge.  “Meiko-san!”
Chibi-Usa said and tried to pull me out and just flopped onto me
instead, hitting my face with her chest and we both went down deep
into the mess.

	“I’m so sorry,” she said but the stuff kept breaking and tearing,
like quicksand and I was frantic and so was she.

	“What’s wrong?” she finally asked.  She looked almost as panicked as
I was.  “I’m sorry, I made up the story, I was just trying to be
funny.”

	Guns… and then the fire… I felt a little embarrassed.  It’s weird, I
didn’t even think consciously of her talking about guns until I saw
the fire.  So I told her everything, words spilling out of me.

	She stared in shock, then hugged me tightly.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t
know.  I would have just talked about boxing the kangaroos we have in
Texas if I had known.”  She was crying a little herself now.

	I didn’t know they had kangaroos there.  “It’s okay, you couldn’t
know,” I told her.  “It was two years ago and I’m sort of… I normally
don’t panic so much.”

	She frowned and then tried to rise up and look but her heels drove
down into the packing material.  “HELP, WE’RE STUCK!” she shouted.

	“All grown up and you still can’t take care of yourself,” Usagi
grumbled outside the dumpster.  She and her boyfriend Mamoru now
pulled us out and Mamoru began pulling bits of junk off Chibi-Usa
while Usagi dusted me off.

	“Our friends are here somewhere,” I said.  “But thank you, Usagi.”

	She smiled brightly at me.  “I’ll have you looking perfect to find
someone nice to dance with, Meiko.  In no time.”

	“You need to look before you leap, Chibi-Usa,” Mamoru said to her
with an amount of warmth that for a moment made it sound like he was
Chibi-Usa’s boyfriend.  I guess it’s a family thing.  He knew her when
she was little and she’ll be a kid to him forever.

	“I was trying to help Meiko out,” Chibi-Usa said, pouting.  “Were you
two following us?  Spying on me?”

	“No, no, not at all, we would never spy on you,” Usagi said.

	Mamoru just laughed and now combed Chibi-Usa’s hair, putting her hat
on his own head while he worked.  “I’ll give you the hat back once
this is straight.”

	“I can comb my own hair,” she said irritably, but she smiled.  You
know, that thing Hino does with Usagi all the time.

	“That hat looks wonderful on you, Mamo-chan,” Usagi gushed to him.
“You should try a headscarf, Meiko-chan.”

	“Really?” I said.

	“If you wanted to look *old*,” Chibi-Usa said pointedly, looking at Usagi.

	“Old? OLD?” Usagi said, but then she laughed.  “Well, I am older than you.”

	“Just not prettier,” Chibi-Usa said as Mamoru finished her hair, then
turned to me and paused.

	“I’m sorry,” he said, looking embarrassed.  “You can borrow my comb
if you want.”

	Chibi-Usa combed my hair with his comb and it was rather nice; Kimiko
and I do each other’s hair sometimes.

	Hotaru now looked into the alley. “There you are!  We got stuck…
Usagi?  Did you follow us?”  She turned from relieved to annoyed.

	“Kimiko, she’s over here!” I heard Derek shout.

	 Kimiko soon ran in, then gave a sigh of relief.  “Oh good, you’re okay.”

	“I’m fine,” I said. “I just… you know.”  I sighed.  I impose too much
on her, but she keeps putting up with it and I am very lucky.

	“Hi, Kimiko-chan,” Usagi said cheerfully but Kimiko just frowned at
her, then came over to us.

	“Were you two following us?” Kimiko asked, frowning.

	“They were *totally* jealous of how cool we look,” Chibi-Usa said,
recovering her hat.  “While they’re dressed like *old*  people.”

	Actually, I thought Usagi looked nice in her fancy red dress with the
ribbons and buckles and everything.  “I think you look fine, Usagi,” I
told her.

	“You too,” she said, then gently touched my shoulder. “Knock them
dead tonight, Meiko.”

	“I will knock *you* dead if you keep following me,” Chibi-Usa said to
Usagi.  “You too, D… Mamoru-san.”

	“Have fun at your concert,” Hotaru said to them.

	“Concert?” Usagi said in confusion.

	“CONCERT!” Mamoru said in a sudden panic.  “Motoki is going to kill
us!”  He picked up Usagi and ran at high speed.  “See you all later!”

	“I was wondering about that,” Hotaru said. “Let’s go!”

******************

	I was in the middle of dancing with a cute guy allegedly named ‘Sam’,
though I doubt it, as he looked Japanese.  But I didn’t care; I was a
little drunk and kissing him and enjoying myself and forgetting
everything else.

	Until the sirens went off outside; many vehicles with sirens went
pouring past the building and I hid my face in his chest.  His rather
nicely strong chest.

	The music kept playing and no one panicked, but Chibi-Usa and Hotaru
ran to the front to look outside, while Kimiko danced with a guy and
Derek went to get a drink.

	Sam’s hands moved comfortingly up and down my back and I reminded
myself that nothing was burning and there was no gunfire and
everything was okay and no one would die.

	“Problem?” Derek asked Chibi-Usa and Hotaru over by the bar a little later.

	“They have these new experimental construction machines and some
lunatic is trying to rob a liquor store with one.  They’re called
‘neighbors’,” Chibi-Usa said.

	“Labors,” Hotaru said.

	Sam suddenly pulled me over to them.  “They’ve actually started using
them in the field?” he said excitedly.  “I’m hoping to do robotics.”

	“They’re using them to build the park which is replacing the ruins of
Mugen Gakuen,” Hotaru said softly.  “They’re very new.”

	Chibi-Usa patted Hotaru’s shoulder gently.

	“Let’s dance,” I told Sam.  I don’t want to think about destruction.

	“Sorry,” he said to me. “This is something I have a big interest in.”

	Chibi-Usa looked at me. “Anyway, that’s all we know,” Chibi-Usa said,
waving her cellphone. “I got a call from a friend.”  It’s purple and
has a cat-face on the back.  “So you should dance.”

	Thanks, Chibi-Usa.

	“Oh wow, that looks really advanced,” Sam said, studying the
cellphone excitedly.

	Chibi-Usa looked aggravated. “Go dance now!”  She hid the phone in
her purse.  “Daaaance!”

	He backed up, surprised, and I dragged him off to the dance floor.
We soon were swaying together, but he wandered off after that to go
call someone and I had to find another dance partner who hopefully was
not more interested in *robots* than *women*.

****************

	Later, we were dancing and Chibi-Usa was smooching some guy as they
danced and her phone rang.  “Dammit, go away!” she said but her phone
began playing some song about rabbits somehow and she cursed and
answered it. “This had better be an invasion of evil robots or the end
of the world because my lips are *busy*.”

	Taiki, who was a drummer for the opening act (now long finished),
laughed; I was dancing with him; he was kind of skinny but had long
white hair and I thought him cute.  Cute enough for tonight.  “May I
busy your lips?” he asked, bowing.

	“Yes,” I told him and forgot everything for now.

	“Yes, we are naked with *ten* boys and taking turns with them,”
Chibi-Usa said irritably into her phone.  “Not so much a *boy* band as
a *man* band if you know what I mean.”

	I laughed more and Taiki and I bumped foreheads and I didn’t care.

	She hung up her phone. “We have to get out of here before Usagi comes
and lectures us when she’s been sleeping with her boyfriend since she
was *fourteen*.”

	“Seriously?” I said in shock.

	“Damn, seriously?” Taiki said. “Who is this?”

	“My…”  Chibi-Usa’s eyes widened. “I am thinking… Aaaargh, Hotaru, you
have to scrub my brain out!”

	“I don’t have any kind of amnesia powers,” Hotaru said frantically.

	“I can’t stop thinking about it and now I want to *die*,” Chibi-Usa
said urgently.

	“Wow, you are drunk,” Kimiko said. “I can’t imagine what he sees in
her.  There’s a ton of women who are prettier and smarter than her.”
She sounded rather bitter.  She isn’t… no, she never talks about
Mamoru.  It’s probably just general irritation she doesn’t have a real
boyfriend.

	I hope I’m not getting in the way of her getting one.

	“Like you,” Hayao said; he was tall with glasses and had been dancing
with Kimiko.  “You’re much prettier.”  I expect he has never seen
Usagi, but he knows what a good man should say in this situation.

	Chibi-Usa suddenly looked right at Kimiko, her red eyes suddenly
intently focused. “What is your problem with her, anyway?”

	“She dumped her best friend to go run off with people she’d just met
and to start screwing a college student when Naru *needed* her.  And
then…”  Kimiko’s hands became fists. “Then…”  Her breathing was
ragged.

	I knew what was coming.  She wouldn’t freak out this much if she wasn’t drunk.

	“It’s okay,” I told her softly.  “She and Naru got to be good friends
but then Naru pretty much ran off to be with Usagi and her friends all
the time and stuff happened we can’t remember but…”  Something went
wrong with the Golden Ring but I can’t even remember that part.
Sometimes I wonder if it somehow led to my family dying.

	Chibi-Usa sighed and rushed forward and pulled her into an embrace.
“You are lucky to have a good friend like Meiko who can be with you
all the time.  Instead of having to only see her every few years.”

	I put a hand on Kimiko’s shoulder.  “I’m glad to always have you at my side.”

	Naru and Gurio chose this moment to come running in and looking
around; they both looked kind of ragged and rumpled and now I was
worried for them.  “Kimiko, I am so sorry I am late!” she said
frantically.

	Kimiko stared at her. “Naru, what happened?”

	“There was this lunatic with a giant construction robot!,” Gurio said
excitedly.  “It was *so cool*.”

	That’s Gurio all over.

	“You got caught up in that?” Kimiko said in a panic.

	“It’s okay, we didn’t get hurt, much,” Gurio said.  “I think I still
have dirt on me, though.”

	Chibi-Usa was studying Kimiko and looked oddly sad, then she sighed
as Kimiko began trying to dust Naru off.  “Well, it’s time for us to
see you two dance,” she said softly.

	“You’ll be impressed,” Gurio said.

	I was; they did this fancy dance with a lot of moving in unison and
him spinning her around and lifting her over his head… somehow… and
dipping her low and totally showing off and I would not have thought
he could dance like that.

	But I guess we all have hidden depths.

****************
	
	“I’m sorry,” Gurio said to Kimiko later; they were dancing together,
while I danced with Taiki nearby.

	“Nothing is your fault,” Kimiko said. “I know you’d die for her if
you had to.  You’d *never* abandon someone.”  Her voice wobbled.
She’s pretty drunk.  We all were.  More than was wise.

	Gurio turned a little red; he’s cute when he blushes.

	Taiki spun me around and I giggled and he smiled.  “Having fun?”

	“Tons,” I said, though now I felt kind of wobbly.

	I could see Chibi-Usa and Hotaru dancing with two guys at the same
time in some sort of group thing where they held hands in a square and
went round and round and I steered Taiki over because it looked fun
and soon we were all going around in a circle, hands linked, kicking
inwards and surging back and forth until I had to go throw up in the
bathroom.

	After that, I sat at a table with Naru for a while, chatting about
school, while everyone else danced.  “He’s the drummer for the band.
My first guy tonight turned out to be more interested in robots than
women.”  I sighed.  “Which is a first for me, though I haven’t had a
steady in a long time.”

	“You’re still young,” she said. “You will have lots of boyfriends in
the future.  I know it’s easy to forget how much or our life is still
ahead of us.”

	“I suppose the stars will tell you who I will marry,” I teased her.

	She smiled a little.  “I wouldn’t pry.  It isn’t my business.  I just
want you to know that however rough things are now, everything passes
with time.  Good and bad.”  She sighed and studied a couple on the
floor, then winced.

	I followed her gaze.  “Someone you know?”

	Some dark haired woman was urgently talking to a guy, gesturing with
her hands, while he stared off at the dance floor, ignoring her.  She
didn’t seem to get mad, but I could tell she kept talking louder.  Why
was she putting up with that?

	“I just see a trainwreck in progress, but you can’t just barge into
someone’s life and tell them what to do,” she said, and sighed.  “Not
strangers, not when it’s just personal.  But I’d rather not be able to
tell where that’s going.”

	“Yeah, I can see that relationship headed for a trainwreck.  Why is
she letting him ignore her?” I asked, frowning.

	“She’s desperate to be with someone, enough to put up with it,” Naru
said softly, then turned a little to face me more.  “Anyway, I’m not
here to worry about people I don’t know.”

	“You’re here to worry about people you *do* know,” I teased her, then
sighed.  “I’m doing okay.  I still have freakout moments but not like
I used to.  I just wish… I still don’t even know why that lunatic
targeted our apartment building.  He wasn’t Japanese, I know that.
But the police never caught him.  I know in my mind, he’s not out
there looking for me or he would have found me by now.  But sometimes
I worry he’ll show up again.  Or that he’s connected to the monsters.”

	“I know how that feels,” Naru said softly to me, then reached over
and took my hand.  “I didn’t lose my family but I’ve been attacked by
monsters myself.”

	Then there was a loud slap and people gasping and yelling and we
turned and saw Chibi-Usa had slapped the guy we’d seen earlier; he’d
come over to her on the dance floor, the woman trailing after him and
now Chibi-Usa had slapped him.

	He slapped her back and she fell, looking utterly shocked.

	“What?” Naru said, then stared and started to rise.

	I ran.  Towards her.  It’s clear she may talk tough but not too many
women can stand up to a guy in a fist fight.  Not *directly*.

	I was scared but I couldn’t just let her get clobbered.  People were
coming her way but not fast enough; she barely avoided getting stomped
on.

	I can’t fight monsters but I could fight this.  He was pretty
surprised when I grabbed him, rolled, and threw him, people dodging
out of the way.

	“I can take him!  This is my fight,” Chibi-Usa said to me.

	“Biiiitch!” the man shouted and rose, running at me.

	Now the bouncer was coming but not fast enough.  I put him in a lock
as he came at me, holding him as he struggled, while his girlfriend
tried to convince him to stop.  I felt a tremendous sense of triumph
at this, my blood pounding in my veins.

	He struggled, but while he was stronger than me, judo exploits how
our bodies work to let the weak overcome the strong.

	Judo does not, however, prevent you getting thrown out of the club
for brawling.

	But so did he, so hah!

	“You didn’t have to save me,” Chibi-Usa said, sounding guilty.  “You
could have gotten hurt.”

	“Who else could?  I’ve been training in judo for two years and I love
Kimiko dearly but she can’t fight and neither can Naru or Gurio.
Derek, maybe.  He looks kind of tough to me,” I told her.  We were
both leaning on the front wall of the club, looking at each other.
“It felt good,” I mumbled.  I don’t know if it should.  But I felt
like I did something.

	Chibi-Usa eyed the punk and his girlfriend as they left.  “I’ve never
been in a fight with a… normal person,” she said softly.

	“I wish I’d known this… but I just would have gotten shot,” I told
her and sighed.  Martial arts only beats bullets in movies but doing
it… I had to be able to defend myself better.

	“You were great,” she said, smiling at me.  “Reminded me of my aunt.
Though she’s taller than you.”

	“I can actually out-judo Kino-san, though I bet she’d crush me if she
could use her karate,” I told her, feeling proud.

	“Wow,” Chibi-Usa said, stunned.  She felt my arm curiously.  “Hmm, muscle.”

	“Well, I’ve been exercising more ever since I lost my family,” I told
her.  “Meiou-san recommended the judo club to me and it’s been a big
help.”

	“Ahh,” Chibi-Usa said as if this was some sort of great mystery I had
just revealed.  And then she cocked her head and her eyes seemed to
glaze a little.

	“Are you okay?” I said, afraid she was about to black out.

	She started, then said, “I’m okay.”  She looked thoughtful.  “I… what
happened to your family?” she asked softly.

	“Some crazy foreigner set the building on fire and shot anyone who
came to help but I was out late with my boyfriend and I missed being
killed,” I told her softly.

	Chibi-Usa winced.  “I’m sorry.  I hope… this trip didn’t make you worry.”

	I laughed nervously. “I feel safer sometimes if I’m out somewhere
like this where nothing bad ever happened.”

	She nodded. “My family got taken hostage when I was little and all I
could do was run away and try to get help.  I couldn’t save them on my
own.  Sometimes I worry about them getting in trouble if I can’t see
them.”

	I winced.  “I’m sorry.”

	“I was six and it terrified me.  It still scares me sometimes, though
it was long ago and I’m a lot stronger now.  But your family… I’m
sorry.  Mine was saved, so it must be so much worse for you.”  Her
voice was pained and she shuffled on her feet, not able to look me in
the eye.

	I put a hand on her shoulder.  “It’s okay.  So you got over it?”

	“You never forget everything but I don’t worry as much as I used to.
I found people I could trust who made me feel safe.  And I got
stronger to protect my family,” she told me.  “Like I see you have.”

	I turned a little red.  “Thank you.”
	
	Then the others came  out.  “It’s late enough, we should probably
just go home,” Kimiko said. “Are you okay?” she said to me, worried.

	“I’m fine,” I told her.  Naru looked worried, but everyone else just
looked tired.

	“Hey, Chibi-Usa, want to spend the night with us?” Kimiko said to
her. “We can smuggle you into our dorm pretty easy.”

	“I… sure,” she said.

	“Is something wrong?” Kimiko asked Naru, who still looked worried.

	“I’m fine, just tired,” Naru said.

	She seemed worried about something more.  But I was tired and drunk
and just wanted to sleep.

	I shouldn’t go getting drunk but I need a little fun sometimes.

	Right now, I just needed sleep.

******************

	I was dreaming of trying to convince cats to build me ships for a
trip to Africa when I was shaken awake. “Meiko, it’s okay,” Kimiko
said.

	“But I wasn’t having a nightmare,” I told her, confused.

	“I’m sorry, that was me,” Chibi-Usa said from the sleeping bag on the
floor.  “Sometimes, I have nightmares.”

	Because of her family and what happened to them.  Also, thunder was
booming and now a flash of white light cut through our window curtain
and lit the room.

	Kimiko sat down by her and took her hand.  “It’s okay,” she said
softly. “Meiko has nightmares all the time.  Because of what she’s
seen.”

	“So what are you going to do with your future?” Chibi-Usa asked softly.

	“With my future?” I asked.  What an odd way to put it. “I don’t know.
 Kimiko is going to do science,” I said, lying on my stomach, head
poking off the bed to look down at Chibi-Usa.  “But I’m kind of… I
don’t know.  I like singing but it’s hard to make a living at it.  I’m
decent at everything but not great at too many things.  If I get good
enough at judo, maybe I could teach that.”  That had a certain appeal.
 “Anything with no guns or fire.”

	“I guess you don’t go to Rei’s shrine,” Chibi-Usa said weakly.

	“No,” I said.  Hino’s too hard to deal with, anyway.

	“Ugh, Hino,” Kimiko said. “She’s prickly.”

	Chibi-Usa sighed. “She’s okay if you know her well.”

	“Not worth impaling myself on spikes to reach past them,” Kimiko
said, then yawned. “We should sleep.”

	“Either of you ever been dumped?” Chibi-Usa suddenly asked.

	“Yes,” Kimiko said and sighed.

	“Yes,” I said, sighing in unison.

	“I was seeing this guy, but he just… he was just interested in my
family’s money and status.  They’re kind of loaded,” Chibi-Usa said
hesitantly.  “I kind of came here so I could forget about the whole
mess.”

	Loaded, I thought.  Which is why the hostage thing happened.  And why
her aunt started training her to fight.

	“Well, that redhead you were smooching didn’t seem to care about
money,” Kimiko said, giggling a little.  “What was his name?”

	“Ichiro,” Chibi-Usa said. “He was cute.  And I got his number for
later, though I don’t know how long I’ll be here.”

	“Yeah, shouldn’t you be in school?  Or are you on vacation in the
States?” Kimiko asked.  “I know they have weird vacations.”

	“I’m on vacation,” Chibi-Usa said. “Could we go see the Imperial
Gardens with Hotaru tomorrow?  I haven’t seen them in forever.”

	“Sure,” I told her and yawned.

	We soon went back to sleep.

********************

	I had the headache from hell.  Nothing like waking up with a hangover.  Dammit.

	But our trip to the gardens was fun.  It was just the four of us and
Hotaru and Chibi-Usa were actually holding hands the whole time, like
little kids.  It was sweet.

	I hope we’re not getting in the way of their reunion; I could tell
they had been dear friends.

	This all used to be part of Edo Castle’s defenses, but now they’ve
turned it into a garden.  Coming  up the hill, we reached the
sprawling pile of stone which used to be a grand castle tower, the
biggest in Japan.  Now all that’s left are the foundations.  Which
admittedly are about three times my height in size.

	Chibi-Usa ran her hand along the stone. “What happened to it?” she
asked curiously.

	“I don’t know,” I confessed.  “There should be a sign.”

	“It burned down after about 20 years and they never rebuilt it,”
Kimiko said; of course she knew it.

	“Everything dies,” Hotaru said softly, touching it as well.

	Chibi-Usa winced and looked lost inside her own head for a little while.

	There wasn’t much more of our apartment building left than this after
the fire.  And even that is gone now.  Time passes, everything dies
and is forgotten.

	I shivered and Kimiko put her hand on my shoulder.  I smiled at her
and pushed my gloom away for now.

**************
	
	We continued through the gardens, passing a flock of kids, maybe ten
years old or so, who were being herded by three adults around the
place.  Teachers and their students, I guess, though I wasn’t sure why
they’d be out on a school trip today.  There were about thirty kids
and I noticed Chibi-Usa watching one of them for some reason, a sturdy
girl with purple hair, wearing a Chinese style dress and a weird kind
of cloth cap on her head, which looked like it was designed to put on
a bun instead of your head.

	The girl saw Chibi-Usa and blinked curiously, staring back, until she
got herded away.

	Chibi-Usa sighed, but didn’t explain and I wasn’t sure I should ask.

	Kimiko said, “Someone you know?”  She is never afraid to ask.

	“She reminds me of someone I knew when I was little,” Chibi-Usa said
softly.  “Who I haven’t seen in a long time.”

	I suddenly remembered Miaka, who had been a good friend in second
through fourth grade and then my family moved and I never saw her
again.  I wonder what she’s doing now.

	Kimiko sighed and was gloomy after that until dinner, when we ended
up going to Hotaru’s house and eating with her family.  We had
‘American Barbeque’ for Chibi-Usa the Texan, which seems to mean
‘meat’, ‘weird glop’, corn, and beans.  When I say weird glop, I mean
this kind of weird lettuce and cabbage salad with sugar and mayonnaise
and vinegar.  I tried it, it was terrible, but the rest was good.

	Chibi-Usa inhaled it.  She eats like a maniac.

	“How are you doing?” Counselor Meiou asked me later.

	“Good,” I told her.  Then I told her about the fight.  “So I’m glad I
got to help someone with it.”

	“Chibi-Usa is a good girl,” Counselor Meiou said, smiling.  “I’m glad
to see you two being friends.”

	“I feel better with people.  I just have a hard time not scaring
people off.  But she saw me freak out and she didn’t mind,” I said,
shivering a little.  I wish she wasn’t going to be leaving soon.

	“She has a kind and loving heart,” Counselor Meiou said, sounding
proud.  “She will be a great woman one day.”

	“Stay away from my pie!” I heard Chibi shout in the dining room.

	“One day,” Counselor Meiou mumbled and I laughed.

	I wouldn’t like someone who was perfect, anyway.  I know I’m not.

	I had to go help which meant getting caught in the pie fight.  But it
was worth it.

*******************
	
	She and Hotaru went off on their own trip Sunday while I caught up on
homework.  Monday, she came to watch me at Judo Club; having a
cheering section was nice.  I managed to pin Akemi, but then I had to
face our club captain, Hanajima-san, and she totally took me apart.
But you’d expect that of the captain.  And I did manage to throw her.

	“You’re getting good,” she told me, clapping my shoulder.  She’s
short but very strong with short black hair she ties with a ribbon.
“You’ll be our number three for the next tournament.”

	“Really?  But I lost,” I told her.

	“Everyone loses sometimes.  The important thing is to get back up and
press on,” Hanajima-san said. “And you’ve gotten better at that.  I
see you made a new friend,” she said softly.

	“She’s just here to visit her friend Hotaru but she’s a good person,”
I told her.  I waved Chibi-Usa over to introduce her to the team
captain.

	“Oh, I know your cousin.  She’s very nice but not very strong,”
Hanajima-san said.  I think she assesses everyone but how strong they
are.

	“I’m pretty good in a fight but I don’t know any judo; I’ve studied
karate and tae kwon do with my aunt,” Chibi-Usa said.  “She knows some
but we hadn’t gotten to it yet.”

	“I should introduce you to Kino-san; she’s better at that than this,”
Hanajima-san said, pointing out Kino-san.

	“Oh, I know her, though I…”  For a moment, Chibi looked confused.
“Anyway, I know her.”

	Kino-san now joined us, in fact.  “Someone call me?  Hi, Chibi-usa,
Miyamoto-san.”

	“I’ve named Miyamoto-san as our number three on the team, and I was
thinking we should go get ice cream to celebrate,” Hanajima-san said.

	“I’m in,” Chibi-usa said quickly.  “Can Hotaru come?”

	“Of course,” Hanajima-san said.  “Just let me find my vice-captain,
who I think ran off to go smooch her idiot boyfriend.”  She ran off
and found Tatewaki-san and went to get ice cream.

******************

	“You kissed the drummer of the Wise Men?” Hanajima-san said, sounding
jealous, as we all had ice cream.

	“I kissed their singer,” Chibi said proudly, then laughed.  Then she
told Hanajima-san about my fight with that guy… I don’t even know his
name.

	“Hah!”  I got a clap on the back.  “Good job, Miyamoto-san.”  I
couldn’t help but smile.  It’s nice to feel like I could protect
someone instead of needing to be protected or just getting lucky.

	It’s ironic, I guess.  Going out with Youta saved my life, even
though he ended up dumping me after that.

	We ended up going back to Kino’s and I threw Chibi around her living
room, showing her a few moves.  She laughed the whole time and then
Kino-san showed us some of her moves.  She is *really* strong, more
than I’d realized.  But I’m tough enough these days to handle a little
physical pain.  It’s the emotional wounds I struggle with.
	
	But with good friends, I can handle them.  It isn’t easy and I will
probably still be dealing with this years from now.  But I feel like I
can go on.  Make new friends.  I can live.

	Life’s given me some heavy blows, but I refuse to lie down and die.
I’m going to go on.  One day at a time.

	Usagi showed up with Naru and Chibi-Usa took a great pleasure in
throwing Usagi around the living room, then was quite surprised when
Naru successfully pinned her.  I was surprised too.  “I didn’t know
you could fight,” I told her.

	“Makoto has taught me a lot and I’ve studied with some other teachers
too,” Naru said.

	I would never have guessed.

	Kimiko came over too, after Chibi-Usa called her; they ended up going
off to Kino-san’s bedroom and talking while the rest of us threw each
other around.

	Finally, we all had to head for home, back to Tsunami.  School was
tomorrow.  To my surprise, I saw Youta in the distance; I haven’t even
seen him since we broke up.  Since I got dumped; he was with some
tall, slender redhead who was wearing a fancy golden dress and looked
so elegant and pretty.  Like I haven’t been in a long time.  They were
busy kissing in front of a jewelry store.

	Kimiko snorted. “Some fluffhead.  He deserves that.  Just ignore him, Meiko.”

	But he noticed me and sighed, but waved.

	His date studied me suspiciously and I blew Youta a kiss.  A terrible
thing to do but I couldn’t help it.  Intellectually, I know I was hard
to deal with, by my heart says ‘fuck him’.  Not in the friendly way.

	Youta and his date began bickering and I felt a sense of
satisfaction.  “Who was that?” Chibi-Usa asked me.

	“Old boyfriend, dumped me after my family died,” I said, sighing.  “I
would have died if I hadn’t been out with him but he wanted someone
pretty and elegant and happy, not someone he had to actually *help*.”

	“I’ll never be elegant,” Chibi-Usa said, then sighed; her face said
she was glad, but her tone said she regretted it.  “Anyway, it’s clear
you can get a better class of boy than that if you want.”

	“I’ll be heading off to college soon enough, anyway,” I said. “So I’m
not looking for anything permanent.”  Just a little fun.  “Assuming I
pass my exams.”

	“You’ll do well enough with me helping you,” Kimiko said confidently.
 She has gotten pretty smart; she studies a lot harder now.  I guess
we’ve both changed.

	“I have to go back to Texas soon but I’ll try to visit y’all again
sometime,” Chibi-usa told us.

	Hotaru began giggling and Chibi-usa buried her face in her hands.
“Y’all,” Hotaru said with an exaggerated drawl.

	“It’s how we say it in Texas!” Chibi-Usa protested, but Hotaru teased
her the rest of the way to the school; then they headed off and we
went to my dorm room.

	I wish she could stay longer; I like her.  But I’m likely to be even
busier with my club if I’m the number three now.  Whatever that means,
exactly.  Beyond being good at judo.

	But it’s good to make a new friend, someone who can accept me as I
am.  I’ve been so closed off… I need to open my horizons.  I can’t
just lean on Kimiko all the time.

	“So what did you and Chibi-Usa talk about?” I asked her.

	“How you will become a heroic robot fighter in the future,” Kimiko
said, laughing.

	“I’d make a lousy robot,” I told her and she laughed and got out her homework.

	“I got invited to this party, Friday, by one of my clubmates.  You
want to come?” she asked hesitantly.

	“Sure,” I said.  I’ll be nervous but I need to expand my horizons.

	Kimiko looked relieved.  “I know you get nervous around people who
don’t know you, sometimes.”

	“I know.  But I need to face that,” I told her.  “As long as it isn’t
an action movie party.”  I can’t watch them without freaking out.

	“No, it’ll probably be a lot of board games and stuff,” Kimiko said.

	I can handle that.  I need to make more friends.  Especially…

	I sighed.  Make a friend and then she’s gone.  But I guess life is
like that; people come and go, so you have to keep making new friends.

	And I want to move forward.  There’s no point in surviving if you
don’t live.  Chibi-Usa moved forward and I have to move forwards too.

	I don’t just want to survive.  I want to live again.  Without fear.
It’ll be a long road, but I’m going to walk it.  Find a dream and
pursue it.

	As they say, fall down seven times and get up eight.

	I’m getting up.  And if I fall down again, I’ll get up again.  I’m
going to live.

THE END