[FFML] [FanFic][SM][NETTG] Terra in Tokyo Ch. 6 (of 27) "But It Was Just a Dream."

Sat Apr 13 13:12:04 PDT 2013

On Sat, Apr 13, 2013 at 12:00 PM,  <ffml-request at chez-vrolet.net> wrote:

> Message: 2
> Date: Sat, 13 Apr 2013 16:46:14 +0800
> From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?Dot=20Warner?=" <dotchan at dotchan.com>
> To: The Fanfiction Mailing List         <ffml at chez-vrolet.net>
> Subject: Re: [FFML] [FanFic][SM][NETTG] Terra in Tokyo Ch. 6 (of 27)
>         "But It Was Just a Dream."
> Message-ID: <20130413084614.29602.qmail at server342.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>
> I think the plot hook of your story lies somewhere between Chapters 5 and 6.  Maximum impact points go to where the Senshi all die in various horrible ways, but maybe that's a little _too_ In Media Res.
>

You know, that's not a half bad idea.  You're talking about maybe
starting where Terra is running to save the Senshi, then completely
fails to do so.  After that, the narrative goes to her introduction
chapters (or the most relevant pieces of them.

Finally, we can snap back to chapter 5/6 events--I can see how that would work.

> Then, once Terra's Mary Sue Destiny Screwing powers are awakened, you can go back and fill in what happened leading up to this point in whatever level of detail that you want (with the continued caveat that you use as little of the original canon as possible).
>

I think I'm understanding what you're getting it.  I can picture it.

> Oh, and a question that occurred to me: why the transformation into Chibimoon? I'm not exactly well-versed into how Sailor Senshi magic works, and maybe you do explain it later, but since she's supposed to be a Parody Sue I was expecting a name like Sailor Xena--it is technically an astrological body, and canon has asteroid senshi, so why not?--or what have you.
>

As far as Sailor Senshi magic, there's a lot of leeway but the only
major thing is that you get powers from the object in question.  I
don't know if canonically that means the gals are siphoning energy
from a planet or it's just what they innately have awakened once
transformed.

In the 'fic, I'm going with the route of "they're siphoning magic
reserves from the planet they're named for--the planet's resources are
so huge that whatever they do it won't likely tap them out--but their
usage is throttled so the powers and transformation trinkets don't
overload and blow up."

There's a story reason for it being Chibimoon instead of an asteroid
Senshi.  Probably the main reason is because Chibimoon was famed for
being weak and useless throughout the series.  (In her focus anime,
SuperS, Chibiusa's upgraded power was essentially being able to cry
for help, downgraded from what amounted to a low-power short-range
uzi.)

Besides, the canonical asteroid senshi were a touch shorter and more circusy:
http://www.wikimoon.org/index.php?title=Sailor_Quartet

There's good humor to be had in adding an Asteroid Senshi, but it
wasn't what I was going for this time. ^_^  I've got one or two
planned, but it's later.

> Also, I was looking forward to ArbyFish's interactions with the rest of the case, unless you meant to imply with those scenes that Terra is absolutely crazy-pants and she totally imagined all of that; once SLK un-sealed her brain her powers are slowly returning to her and AF is a manifestation of that.  (If the latter is the case, than it needs to be clearer that she's an unreliable narrator.)
>

In the story, Arby's quite real.  He drives others crazy by his
presence, but he's really there.  Terra may be an unreliable narrator
at points, but that's unrelated to Arby.

Would be a huge mind screw if, after all his scenes in the story, if
he really weren't there after all.  Hmm.... ^__^

Thanks for reading!

-- 
Benjamin A Oliver
benjamin.a.oliver at gmail.com

Technical Writer / Translator
M3 Engineering & Technology

Master of Science in Management Information Systems
Eller College of Management
University of Arizona

Writings: Fan Fiction
http://boliver.florestica.com/

Webcomic: Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! The Early Years
http://nettg.com