[FFML] [FanFic][SM][NETTG] Terra in Tokyo Ch. 6 (of 27) "But It Was Just a Dream."

[Dot Warner]

I think the plot hook of your story lies somewhere between Chapters 5 and 6.  Maximum impact points go to where the Senshi all die in various horrible ways, but maybe that's a little _too_ In Media Res.  

Then, once Terra's Mary Sue Destiny Screwing powers are awakened, you can go back and fill in what happened leading up to this point in whatever level of detail that you want (with the continued caveat that you use as little of the original canon as possible).

Oh, and a question that occurred to me: why the transformation into Chibimoon? I'm not exactly well-versed into how Sailor Senshi magic works, and maybe you do explain it later, but since she's supposed to be a Parody Sue I was expecting a name like Sailor Xena--it is technically an astrological body, and canon has asteroid senshi, so why not?--or what have you.

Also, I was looking forward to ArbyFish's interactions with the rest of the case, unless you meant to imply with those scenes that Terra is absolutely crazy-pants and she totally imagined all of that; once SLK un-sealed her brain her powers are slowly returning to her and AF is a manifestation of that.  (If the latter is the case, than it needs to be clearer that she's an unreliable narrator.)

-"Dot"
http://dotchan.com/

I'm my own mind-altering substance. 8)