[FFML] Mobile Suit Gundam Storm, ch. 11

[Andrew Dynon]

                My body felt leaden as Khadija carried me back towards the
Gallipolli.  Perhaps it was because the pain I felt in my mind had numbed my
nerves.  Since I was having trouble seeing through my vomit-splattered
visor, I was grateful to have someone to carry me.

 

                "Khadija," I managed to say, "Do you know of anyone else
who's felt like that?  Just wanting to. fall into oblivion?"

 

                "It's been known to happen."  Khadija replied.  "Soldiers
sometimes just. snap on the battlefield, and do something suicidal on the
spur of the moment."

 

                "So. I'm not the only one to feel this kind of pain?"  I
asked.

 

                "I confess I've never heard of anyone fighting someone so
close to them as you were to Pallas." She answered.  "But as for pain. for
everyone that dies on the battlefield, there are people close to them,
family members, friends, a lover - who feels the same kind of pain and loss
you're feeling now."

 

                "Which means I'm responsible for a lot of them.  No wonder
you don't like me."

 

                "I wouldn't say I dislike you." Khadija said.  "And it's not
quite that.  I mean, Shane and Alan have killed people in battle as well,
and I don't hate them for it.  But I had a hard time with you because. well,
it seemed you didn't understand what it meant to take a life.  And that's
not really your fault, it's because of all the training and stuff they
drilled into your head, but I was trying to get you to understand, and
sometimes I lost my cool. WHAT THE-?"

 

                I was rocked by a sudden change of direction as Khadija's MS
rolled to port to - as far as I could see with the state of my visor - avoid
a shot from a Regulus that was headed straight for us.  Khadija continued to
dodge the shots, and I realised that it was firing on my Gundam.

 

                "Attention, Regulus serial number 412L-E21!" Khadija said
over an open channel.  "Cease and desist immediately!  You are firing on an
MS that is currently receiving assistance from an IPMC vehicle!  As per the
Treaty Regarding IPMC Operations, your act is considered a war crime!  I
repeat, cease and desist immediately!"

 

                "You think I care if it's a war crime?" came the enraged
voice of the pilot.  "That Gundam killed my-" His voice was cut off as a
shot from the Gallipolli's anti-MS guns struck him, and he was consumed in a
fireball.

 

*****

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM STORM

A Fanfic by Andrew Dynon

Based on Mobile Suit Gundam created by Yoshiyuki Tomino and Hajime Yadate

 

Chapter 11: Vestige

*****

 

                The three of us, all having sustained significant damage to
our Gundams, reached the Gallipolli's hangar.  It appeared that the
Commonwealth forces would repel Lunapact's attack on Moresby base, but I
didn't think Yamada or McDermott felt any sense of triumph, or even
satisfaction.  McDermott's voice was flat as he told us to shower and then
report for the debriefing.

 

                As I was about to leave the cockpit, though, I caught sight
of the blinking lights of the computer terminal in my cockpit, and realised
there was something I needed to do first.

 

                "Metis, I'm sorry."  I said.  "If I it weren't for Khadija,
it wouldn't have just been me who burnt up in the atmosphere.  I would have
killed you, as well."

 

                <Apology accepted, my pilot.> Metis replied.  

 

                "Could you have stopped the Gundam from falling?"

 

                <Negative.  I am designed to facilitate my pilot's commands,
not override them.> She said.  <However, I do not wish to die.  It is
fortunate that Paramedic Akram was able to rescue us.>

 

                "I guess so." Was all I could think to say in response.

 

*****

 

After showers, debriefing, and a meal of standard-issue liquid
multinutrient, we were expected to remain on yellow alert until we had
confirmed the enemy to no longer be in the area.  As I waited in my standby
position, I felt as though a heavy weight were settling into my body like
powdered lead, leaving me feeling numb and dull.  I vaguely heard my name
being spoken, and slowly looked around.

 

"Ensign Gold!" McDermott said, louder.  "You're showing signs of
exhaustion."

 

"Negative, sir.  It has been only twelve hours since we first entered combat
alert.  I am capable of operating for up to seven days without sleep before
my capabilities decline."

 

"I'm sure you are, ensign.  Nevertheless, your posture is sagging and your
attention is not fully here, so I'm ordering you to get some rest."  He then
looked at me more compassionately.  "Besides, in good conscience, I can't
order you to remain combat ready after what you've been through.  Shane, you
escort her to quarters.  And talk to her."  

 

*****

 

Victoria

 

                Alfred Castella smiled in satisfaction as the monitors that
had been showing the battle switched to data analysis of Forge's
supersoldiers and their mobile suits.

 

                "A truly extraordinary performance by those two, was it not,
Victoria?"

 

                Victoria maintained the mask that was her sweet smile.
"Indeed, father.  I daresay that such a duel has not taken place in all of
history.  I am sure that it will go down in history as the beginning of a
new era in warfare - at least, for those who are aware of the true
implications."

 

                "The first light before the new dawn.  But we have gathered
enough data.  Now, we must prepare for the true sunrise.  It is time for
Athene to leave the petty squabble between governments, and prepare to take
her place among our vanguard."

 

                "What of her psychological condition, though, father?  Even
with her training, what she was forced to do to someone she grew up
alongside."

 

                "You needn't worry about the ill effects of her trauma.  We
will take steps to ensure that she fights at her full potential."  Victoria
knew what her father meant, and it chilled her that he could speak about it
so unconcerned, but she did not permit her mask to show any cracks.

 

*****

 

Athene

 

When I had first been assigned combat duties, I had thought of my task as
simple and straightforward:  Fight well, destroy the enemy, and don't
concern myself with the politics of the whole thing.  But it seemed that for
every day I spent aboard the Gallipolli, that clarity drifted further away
from me.  Pallas was dead, yet I felt as though part of her was had gotten
stuck in my head, making her appear in front of me whenever I closed my
eyes, and now new questions ran through my head.

 

"Shane," I asked, "What's it like for you to fight alongside me?"

 

"To fight alongside you?  Well, when I watch you, I'm always amazed at how
you fight.  I mean, reaction times, precision, accuracy - I don't think I
could ever be good enough to replicate what you do.  But, to be honest,
seeing you fight. it's kinda scary as well."

 

"Scary?"

 

"Well, you're totally ruthless when you fight.  I mean, there are kills, and
then there are kills, if you know what I'm saying.  Most of the MS you
destroyed, the pilots didn't make it out of there alive." Shane said.  And
for every one of those, as Khadija had told me, more pain was spread among
those who remained.

 

"So, do you think I'd be as effective if I wasn't so ruthless?"

 

"I can't answer that.  I mean, if seeing you fighting beside me is scary, I
was crapping my spacesuit going up against Pallas, and I had to dredge up
every drop of courage I had to fight her.  There's a lot to be said for the
psychological factor in warfare.  But then again, I guess I'm still an
idealist at heart.  I understand that fighting for real pretty much boils
down to kill or be killed, but I want to believe that the winning side
doesn't have to be the one that's willing to be bigger arseholes."

 

"And there's another thing." I said.  "You talk about fear, and courage.
Everyone talks about how soldiers need courage, so that they can overcome
fear.  But no matter how many times I've gone into battle, I've never felt
fear.  I've never been brave.  I have the least courage of anyone on this
ship.  I'm supposedly a supersoldier, yet I'm completely lacking in one of
the things every soldier is supposed to have."

 

"That doesn't mean you lack courage." Shane told me.  "It just means you've
never been put in a situation where you needed it.  If you're not afraid of
combat, then, well, there's probably gonna be some other time when you're
afraid, but you know you have to do something.  And when that time comes,
well, that's when you show courage."

 

There was a buzz at the door comm, and Khadija's face showed up on the
screen.

 

"Athene, is it okay if I come in?" she asked.  "I just want to check up on
you."

 

"Sure, come in." I said, glancing at Shane to make sure he didn't object,
then opening the door.

 

"How are you?" she asked.

 

"I'm fine." I told her.

 

"Don't lie."

 

I hesitated for a long time.  "Awful."

 

"Well, if you don't want to talk about it, I won't force you to."  She said.
"Damn, I knew I should have taken counselling as part of my training."  I
heard her mutter under her breath.

 

"It's okay.  Just having you two here makes things better.  But I'm
wondering, Khadija. why did you join the IPMC?"  I asked.

 

"Want someone else to do the talking, do you?" Shane teased.

 

"Shane!" Khadija scolded, and glared at him for a few seconds to make her
disapproval felt before relaxing to tell her story.

 

"Shane told you that, growing up on Mars, we were rivals in Mini MS Racing."
Khadija began.  "We were thirteen, so this was three. almost four years ago
now, in fact.  Shane had won the championship two years prior, and then I
beat him for it the next year.  We were going into the final race of the
year, and Shane was leading, but I knew that if I won the final race, I'd
retain the championship."

 

"It's the final lap of the race," she continued, "And Shane's been leading
the whole way, with me just behind.  We're coming into this section of
twisty track going into Ines Chasm, with the ravine on the left and the
cliff on the right.  So far, he's managed to head me off every time I've
tried to pass him, and I'm getting frustrated, but I think I spot an
opportunity here.  Coming round a bend, I try to get past him on his right,
and end up clipping him.  He loses control, and his MS ends up going
tumbling into the ravine."  Her shoulders slumped as she told that part of
the story, ashamed at her recklessness.

 

"If you don't want to talk about it any more, I won't make you." I said.

 

"No, it's okay." She replied, although it was obviously difficult for her,
even years later.  "Shane ended up breaking both arms and a bunch of ribs in
that fall.  The officials said I was guilty of a dangerous passing attempt,
so I got disqualified and Shane ended up winning the championship.  But the
disqualification was nothing compared to having to face my parents
afterward.  My mother and father were furious, and were going to ban me from
racing, but when we went to visit Shane in hospital, he convinced them to
let me keep doing it - on the condition that I took a first aid course and
did volunteer work at the hospital as well.  And I ended up discovering that
medical work was rewarding, and I wanted to make a career out of it.  I was
already training as a paramedic with the IPMC when the war broke out."   

 

"So you didn't always want to be a medic?" I asked her.

 

"No.  But looking back on it, I would never wish to change it."

 

At that point, my console beeped, signalling that I had received a message.
I reached over and touched the screen to open it.

 

 

To: Ensign Athene Gold

From: <Classified>

Subject: Notice of Redeployment

 

Ensign Gold,

 

You are hereby advised that you are to transfer from your current deployment
to Spearhead Base, effective immediately. A transport will arrive shortly to
collect you.

 

 

For a few moments, I was merely surprised that I was being reassigned, then
came the realisation of where I was being reassigned.  I knew Spearhead -
many of the Earth Sphere combat simulations from back on Sparta base had
revolved around it being used as a staging point.  

 

"Well, it's sudden, but I guess this is goodbye." Shane said.  "Athene, it's
been an honour to serve alongside you, and. hey, why are you looking at the
screen like that?"

 

"My siblings are going to be there.  I'm going back to them.  And then." My
mouth went dry as it suddenly hit me.  "Oh my god.  Oh my god.  They're in
the hands of the people who sent me and Pallas up against each other.  I'm
getting sent back to them."

 

I turned to face him.  

 

"Shane, there's something I need to take care of before I go." With that, I
rushed out of my room.

 

*****

 

                Once again, I sat in the Gale Gundam's cockpit, and booted
up Metis.  

 

                Welcome, my pilot. Her now-familiar, soothing voice
resonated in my ears.

 

                "I'm probably not going to be that for much longer, Metis."
I said.

 

                <I saw your transfer notice.  I can link to the data console
in your quarters.> Metis told me.  <Is that why you're stressed?>

 

                "Yes.  I'm being transferred back into the hands of whoever
it was that set up the supersoldier project in the first place.  Either
Pallas or me, or probably both of us, was brainwashed by them before we were
sent out here, and if they're willing to do it once to us, I'm damn sure
they'll be willing to do it again.  And this time they've got a bunch of my
siblings waiting there as well."

 

                Metis didn't reply, likely sensing that I had more to say,
so I continued.

 

                "Metis, you and I. both of us have grown so much since we
met each other.  We were both originally intended as just weapons, but.
since I've been assigned here, you've become a trusted confidant, and I've
experienced anger and laughter and sorrow, and. all the things that make me
a person, not just a supersoldier.  And now, I'm at risk of having all of
those things stripped away from me.  So there's something I want you to do."

 

                "If I ever see Yamada and McDermott and the others again, I
might not recognise them.  If we're up against each other, and that's the
case. as things are now, I'm going to end up killing them.  So I want you to
analyse my combats, as thoroughly as you can.  Go through all the combat
patterns, tactics, response times, everything.  Use all of it, and come up
with countermeasures.  Because I can't bear the thought of murdering them,
and if I end up brainwashed and fighting them, I want them to kill me.  Can
you arrange that, Metis?"

 

                The words hung in the air as I waited for Metis to answer.

 

                <I understand, Athene, and I can do that.  But if the events
you describe do happen, I can suggest another option that I hope you
consider.>

 

*****

  

                When I stepped back out of the cockpit, I saw Yamada waiting
on the gantry.  He tried to give his usual cheeky smile, but it didn't come
off seeming as light-hearted as usual.

 

                "The Captain wants to see you." He told me.

 

                When we arrived in the captain's office, I saw McDermott and
Khadija there, and all eyes turned to me as I entered.

 

                "At ease, Ensign." Captain Monash told me, and I did so.

 

                She looked directly at me, her dark eyes more serious than
usual.

 

                "What I am about to say is not to be told to anyone not
currently in this room.  Ensign Gold, I received a copy of your transfer
orders." She said.  "Ensign Yamada informed Lieutenant McDermott of the
situation you are likely to be placed in should you go through with the
transfer, and he in turn informed me.  The two of us agreed that knowingly
sending anyone to suffer the... procedures that may be used on you, let
alone someone under our command, is morally repugnant, and contrary to the
ideals of the Commonwealth Armed Forces.  Therefore, the order must be
considered unethical, and as such, it is our duty NOT to obey it.  We will
arrange for you to be smuggled off the ship and out of Moresby Base, and are
willing to suffer the punishment for such."

 

                "Ma'am, I can't do that." I interrupted.  "I will transfer
to Spearhead as ordered."

 

                "If you go back there, they're just going to brainwash you!"
Khadija said.  "I know whoever they are, they've got it drilled into your
head to obey them, but please-"

 

                "It's not that."  I said.  "I'm not going there because I'm
told to.  My siblings are there.  If I run and hide, even if I manage to
escape, there'll be no one to help them.  If I go, I may be able to save
them, to stop them from being made into playthings like me and Pallas."

 

                "Athene, you're sure about this?" McDermott asked.  I wanted
to tell him no.  I felt as though I could hear my heart pounding in my ears
as I struggled to answer.  I wanted to beg him and Monash and Yamada to take
me away, hide me, let me not have to do this.  Even if I did go, what if I
couldn't save them?  What if I just ended up a tool of my creators, along
with everyone else, with everything human about me stripped away to reveal
the soulless killing machine underneath?  My throat went dry, and I realised
how I was feeling.

 

                I was scared.

 

                "Yes, sir."  I said hesitantly.  "Yes, I'm sure about this."

 

                Shane put his arm around my shaking body, and helped me to
sit down.  

 

                "Then, I guess. this is goodbye.  But we'll see each other
again someday."

 

                "If we do, I might be your enemy."  I warned him.

 

                "Well, better than nothing."  He said softly.

 

                Two hours later, the transport ship arrived to take me to
Spearhead.  I was the only passenger on board, and sat in silence for the
journey, lost in thoughts of my time on board the Gallipolli, and of my task
ahead.

 

NEXT CHAPTER: "White Reflection"

 

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