[FFML] [Ranma][Spamfic] A Name To Agree On

[J Wagner]

HA!

Nice. I just had to thank ya for it. LOL.

On Sat, Apr 21, 2012 at 6:48 PM, Gary Kleppe <gary at garykleppe.org> wrote:

> Dedicated to my son on his sixth birthday. The characters used are the
> creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi.
>
>
>
> "That's not the kind of name I want, old man!" Pantyhose Taro said, forcing
> Happosai's back against the wall to emphasize his point.
>
> "Why not?" Happosai said, not cowed in the slightest. "I think 'Garter Belt
> Taro' is a fine name."
>
> Pantyhose did his best to look menacing. "You better come up with something
> better, old man, or you're in for a world of pain!"
>
> "Oh, all right." Happosai scratched his head. "I know! Bustier Taro. That
> would really give you a touch of class. Right, then, Bustier Taro it is."
>
> Ranma, listening from across the room, smiled to himself and resisted the
> urge
> to chuckle.
>
> Soun frowned. "I just hope they don't start fighting again and wreck any
> more
> of the house."
>
> "Pantyhose Taro... Garter Belt Taro... Bustier Taro... do you notice
> anything
> *similar* about these names?" Pantyhose moved his face to where it was
> only an
> inch away from Happosai's. "DO YOU?"
>
> "Oh, of course. How silly of me." Happosai slapped himself on the forehead.
> "No worries. I'd be more than happy to change your name to Pantyhose
> *Jiro,*
> or Garter Belt *Ichiro.*"
>
> Pantyhose picked up a table lamp and beaned Happosai with it.
>
> "Noooo!" Soun covered his eyes.
>
> "Look, I'm sorry, but I do have a certain standard," Happosai said. I'm not
> about to give you any old name. It has to be something with... character."\
>
> Soun winced, wondering what they were going to break next.
>
> "Tough situation," Nabiki said as she sat next to Ranma.
>
> "But you've got the answer, right?" Ranma said. "For a modest fee?"
>
> She nodded. "Thirty-five hundred yen. How about it, Mister
> Doesn't-Want-To-Be-
> Named-Pantyhose?"
>
> Pantyhose quickly rifled through his pockets. "I've got three hundred
> Chinese
> Yuan. That's it."
>
> "No problem. I can get it exchanged."
>
> He began to hand over the money, then pulled it back at the last moment.
> "Not
> until you deliver."
>
> "All right, then." She went over to where Happosai lay in a crumpled heap
> on
> the floor. She wrote something on a post-it note and showed it to him.
>
> "Eh?" Happosai said. "Isn't that an English name?"
>
> Producing a Baldrick's of Hollywood lingere catalog, Nabiki flipped to a
> certain page. She showed it to Happosai, and his eyes bulged.
>
> ***
>
> Down the dirt path, Stacey Zhang ran. Rocks and shrubs zoomed by. She
> gasped
> for breath. Her heart hammered in her chest. And she pushed her sore legs
> to
> run faster, only briefly glancing behind her to see that the wild boar was
> still chasing her, and gaining.
>
> It had sounded so easy. Take a trip to western China, her boss had told
> her,
> to scout out possible new locations for an electonics assembly plant. He'd
> told her that some of the locals might not be all too welcoming, and she
> was
> prepared to take some heat from them. But this was ridiculous.
>
> She rounded a bend, feeling that her legs were about to give out.
> Suddenly, a
> young man stepped out from the underbrush, directly into the path of the
> boar.
> "Huh?" she gasped. "Don't--"
>
> The boar charged at the young man. But at the last moment, he stepped
> aside,
> and brought his leg under the boar's. The boar tripped, then rolled over,
> rolled over again, and landed on its backside. It picked itself up, and
> ran.
>
> "How the hell did you-- Are you okay?"
>
> "I'm fine, ma'am," the young man said. "I'm actually a martial arts
> master."
>
> "You're a life-saver." Standing on wobbley knees, Stacey shook his hand.
> "What's your name?"
>
> The man smiled proudly. "I'm Theodore Taro, ma'am. But you can call me
> Teddy."
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Thanks to Scott Pollert for "Garter Belt Taro" (way back in 1998).
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