[FFML] [Ranma] those Who Hunt Ninjas cut scenes

[DB Sommer]

My muse is totally dormant and shows no signs of awakening. Looking 
through some old files, I stumbled across some things I cut from Those 
Who Hunt Ninjas, which are actually more like different sets of lines to 
the scenes. Think of them as 'deleted scenes' like in a movie

Cut scenes

“STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!” Ranma-chan shouted as she turned around and shook 
her fist at everyone, trying desperately to get their attention. “Is 
this a fic done by Eric Hallstrom?”

The group looked at each other. Once at a consensus, Akane spoke for the 
group, “No.”

“Right. That means there will be no musical numbers. None whatsoever. I 
don’t even want to see the title of a song in this. You got that?!”

“No more Disney numbers?” Kodachi asked.

“No.”

“Not even an old Sinatra song?” Konatsu inquired.

“Absolutely not.”

“How about a stirring rendition of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat?” Kunou asked.

Flashback of Star Trek V echoed through Ranma’s mind. Horrified at how 
the blocked out memory had been so easily summoned forth, Ranma 
proceeded to beat the hell out of Kunou.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Just as Akane was about to give a prayer for its soul, the Youma’s eyes 
shot back open and it pointed at Ranma-chan, saying, “But that redhead 
would make the perfect Sailor Earth.”


The building shook with the force of a Perfect Moko Takabisha 
incinerating a Youma.


“I’d look ridiculous in a fuku,” Ranma-chan grumbled as she used some 
hot water to change her back to her proper form.

“Shampoo agree,” the Amazon said.

“Thanks, Shampoo,” Ranma said, happy to have someone agreeing with him.

“Shampoo think Airen would look good naked with only whip cream and 
cherries over his body.” Shampoo licked her lips lasciviously.

“No way!” Ukyou shouted as she brought her spatula to bear. “Ranchan 
would look good in okonomiyaki. And naked.”

“Philistine,” Kodachi snorted. “Ranma-sama would look best adorned with 
a chocolate ripple with a butterscotch topping and a mild sorbet.”

“Sushi with a mix of shrimp and green leafy garnishes.”

All eyes stared in shock at who the suggestion from.

Akane just gave a level stare back. “Oh, come on. All of those other 
dishes would have clashed with his hair color, and he’s just not tan 
enough to work with them either. Sushi and shrimp would blend in just 
right, much better than anything you named. Not that I want to see Ranma 
naked, mind you.”

A vocal argument began to ensue, panicking Ranma more by the second. 
Lately, even he could not help noticing how things in the fiancee wars 
had been heating up, but this was too much.

The next thing he’d know, each one of the girls would try to force him 
into stripping and pouring all of those things on his body just to prove 
they were right. He had to escape them right now.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


As far as ten blocks away, three screams of “AHHHHH,” came out of every 
manhole cover located between the Nerima Museum of History and the 
downtown area of the district.

Two old men looked down at the manhole cover nearest to them. One looked 
to the other and gave a sad shake of his head. “What’s the world coming 
to when young women can’t wander around sewers without having 
Canniblistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers terrorizing them?”

His friend nodded his head in agreement. “Why in my day, the only thing 
we had to worry about when wandering the sewers were alligators. And the 
green ones too, not those new fangled albino ones you hear everyone 
talking about.”

His friend nodded in agreement. “We sure had it hard. You try telling 
that to these kids nowadays, and they just don’t appreciate it. This 
neighborhood has just gone rotten, I’m telling you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Mousse joined with Kunou in pointing an accusatory finger in Konatsu’s 
direction. “We heard you discussing that move with the girl and then you 
helped her attack us. It’s obvious you’re in league with these ninjettes.”

“Kunoichi,” Konatsu corrected.

“Whatever,” Mousse growled as a set of razor-sharp blades extended from 
the folds of his sleeves.

Konatsu began to stammer out an explanation. “How could you think I’m 
league with them? She just picked me up and threw me at you.“

“Save your treacherous words for those less blind. We can see with our 
own eyes and hear with our own ears the truth of the matter.” Kunou 
thrust his bokken in Konatsu’s direction.

Konatsu shook his head in open disbelief. “You two really are complete 
morons. No wonder you don’t have girlfriends.”

“Ha! Such unmerited criticism from one so perverted affects me quite 
little, I’m afraid,” Kunou countered.

Now Konatsu, for perhaps the first time in his life, was getting truly 
angry. “No, seriously. I would stand a better chance at scoring with 
either Akane or Shampoo than you two idiots.”

“But you dress like a woman!” Mousse shot back.

“Which makes things REALLY sad for you.”

Shouts of “Die, perverted ninja!” echoed throughout the hall.