[FFML] [Lime] The Eclipse of Haruhi Suzumiya

[Henry Cobb]

I'm pushing this up and then putting it on hold until I can do some research.

[Lime] The Eclipse of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter four
By Henry J. Cobb

When school started on Tuesday morning I found Haruhi Suzumiya still
subdued at her desk. She barely even acknowledged my greeting. The good
times couldn't last of course.

"Kyon!" Haruhi shouted from the desk behind mine in the break after the
first class, "Did you hear that? A great mystery has occurred!"

"What?" I turned in my seat. Perhaps if she saw me face to face, she'd turn
down the volume. Not for my own doomed fate, but I do consider the nerves
of the rest of the class. Some of them are my friends. Pity Haruhi doesn't
seem to have the same problem.

"Ryoko Asakura, the student president of our classroom, has mysteriously
transferred!"

"I thought you said that normal humans weren't interesting to you, but
haven't most students transferred at least once in their lives?"

"Not like this! Not without warning! I'll go ask her friends," Haruhi stood
and walked over to bother the other students.

Once again my best efforts had been in vain.

Haruhi grilled the students like fried eggs and the result was that nobody
reported having advance warning of Ryoko's move. Either Ryoko had planned
on getting away with murder and staying in the class or she didn't think
enough of her so-called friends to let them know that she'd be moving on.

At lunch Haruhi set off to ask the school office about the missing student.

After she left, fellow SOS brigade member Itsuki Koizumi came to the door
of our classroom and asked, "Kyon, would mind having lunch with me today?"

Eyebrows rose throughout the classroom as I replied, "Sure. Sounds like
fun."

A group of girls gathered to follow us down to the courtyard and one of the
girls even whispered to a couple sitting at one of the tables to make way
for us, then asked us to switch places please before rejoining her
crowd.

"Do you know what that's about?" Itsuki nodded towards the group of
sketchbook wielding girls.

"It's the art club. I'm sure they'd appreciate it if you'd take off your
shirt and jacket."

Itsuki turned back towards me, "And you make this request because?"

"I want to see if you're tattooed like a Yakuza."

"I'm afraid that my organization isn't anything like that," Itsuki raised
his palm with his fingers curled towards the heavens.

The art club girls gave out a collective "Squee!" and one of them asked him
to hold the pose as they all furiously scribbled.

"You have an organization also?" I asked him, "Let me guess. You've been
forced into the service of some dread master and I'll need to ransom some
fraction of my soul to free you?"

"No, it's nothing like that," Itsuki held his pose with no apparent effort,
"Those of my kind who serve my master do so voluntarily and I feel very
honored indeed to have been chosen for this mission."

"So why did you transfer to this school and join the club of a crazy girl?"

"Miss Asahina didn't bother us at all, but when Miss Nagato got so close to
Miss Suzumiya it raised our hackles."

"The problem is solved then. Yuki now regards me to be her master, so that
connection is severed."

"And that raises the question of you," Itsuki turned his eyes towards me,
without moving his face, "We have checked your trail the best we can and
you've passed all the sniff tests. You are completely human, so what is
your connection to the three girls, especially Yuki?"

"Since a Yuki-onna is much more likely to devour a man than serve him?"

"Yes, that."

"I don't know how I got into this mess, but this talk of eating reminds me
that this is lunchtime and that I should consider keeping my core body
temperature up."

"Girls," Itsuki raised his voice without even moving his face much, "May I
eat now?"

"Here!" Each art club girl held up her bento.

"Oh, but I already have a lunch," Itsuki opened his bento. There was tofu,
aburage, and azukimeshi inside.

"What, no rice or meat?" I asked him.

"I'm on a vegetarian low-carb diet."

We all ate more or less together and then I slipped away unnoticed as each
art club girl took the opportunity to personally thank Itsuki, and
introduce herself of course.

At the end of classes Haruhi ordered me, "Pack up, we're going!"

"Where?" I turned in my seat.

"Here! This is Ryoko's address," She slammed a hand written note with a
familiar address, but a different room number. For a moment I was surprised
that even the floors were different.

"Is that were she moved to?" I tried to keep a straight face, but
fortunately Haruhi had no time for the likes of ordinary humans such as
myself.

"No, her old address. She moved to Canada. Can you believe that, Canada?
Let's go check out her old place for clues."

"We both know somebody who lives there."

"Who?"

"Follow me," I knew that if I just told her where we were going she would
run there with my necktie or collar in tow and I'd had enough of that. I
even made her wait for me outside the boys restroom. It wasn't that I was
cruel, but rather that I still had some small faith in the concept of
justice, even if I had to mete it out myself.

"The answer is in our own clubroom?" She walked in as I held the door open
for her.

"Not yet," I saw that Mikuru and Yuki were already there, but I decided to
keep Haruhi on ice for a bit longer. Perhaps it was in the forlorn hope
that someday she would learn the virtue of patience.

When Itsuki arrived I asked Yuki to join us at the table, and indicated the
seat across from me.

"Your note please," I asked Haruhi, then I slid it in front of Yuki, "Yuki,
you knew Ryoko Asakura from what you call your hometown, correct?"

"Yes Kyon," Yuki lowered her gaze to the note.

"So when you moved to this city, you asked her where you could stay, and she
suggested you rent a room in her building, correct?"

"Yes Kyon."

"Are you asking her this or telling her it?" Haruhi asked.

"I'm asking her to confirm it. I suspected the whole thing when I saw that
the address matched to what Yuki had written on her library card form. Now
Yuki, please tell Haruhi what kind of human being your acquaintance Ryoko
Asakura is."

"As you wish Kyon."

"This is bullshit!" Haruhi jumped from her chair, "Yuki, I hereby promote
you to chief researcher! That's a higher rank than Kyon's lackey status. You
follow my orders here and not his."

Yuki just sat there, looking down on the table.

Haruhi walked around the table and knelt down by Yuki.

I tried to rise, but Mikuru grabbed my arm under the table.

Haruhi grabbed Yuki's hand, "Don't be afraid of Kyon just because he's a
guy."

Yuki turned her face to Haruhi and seemed to beam, "I'm not afraid of
Kyon."

"What happened to your glasses?" Haruhi asked Yuki.

"She lost them and switched to her contacts."

"How do you know that?" Haruhi released Yuki, stood and turned towards me.

Yuki raised her hands to her chest, blushed and quietly sighed. She had fed
again so why hadn't Haruhi complained about the cold?

"Who did you think was looking after your precious brigade when you were
sulking in the classroom?" I pointed at Haruhi.

"Okay fine, it's all my fault," Haruhi returned to her seat at the table,
"But now I'm back on the job and we've got a mystery to solve."

"And the perfect way to solve it is for Yuki to contact her hometown
tonight and ask there about Ryoko."

"So back to Brigade business. What can we do to get those contacts coming
in," Haruhi rose and walked to the computer desk, "Let's put Mikuru's
breasts on our homepage."

"No! You can't!" Mikuru blushed and stammered artfully.

"If you going to embarrass somebody, embarrass yourself!" I rose and walked
over to Haruhi's side.

"As brigade leader, I can't ask any member to do something I wouldn't do
myself," Haruhi started pulling her blouse over her head, "Kyon, get the
camera. My rack isn't as impressive as Mikuru's, but I guess it will have
to do."

"Won't exposing yourself on the Internet shame your parents?" Itsuki asked,
proving once and for all just how gay he was.

"So?" Haruhi had her blouse up high enough that her bra was showing.

"So they'll be forced to move and you'll be forced to transfer," I forced
my eyes up to where Haruhi's face was hidden behind her blouse, "No more
SOS Brigade," I wondered what sort of tragic event it would take to pound
just a tiny bit of common sense into her thick skull.

"Very well," Haruhi pulled her blouse back down, "But what do we put on
our webpage? The counter isn't even up to three digits yet."

"Well, put something other than a picture of a person on it," Maybe this
would get her to finally write down her crazy theories. That should attract
the attention of some ''interesting'' people. But it shouldn't be a
problem, so long as Mikuru kept her knife handy.

After the others left it was just me sitting there and Yuki, reading by the
window.

"Let's go to your place."

"As you wish Kyon," Yuki closed her book and stood.

On the way to her apartment I remembered seeing something once so I
turned. Yuki followed without comment, as always two steps behind me.

I held the store door open for Yuki and then she waited inside to follow
me. That was getting a bit awkward, so I considered how I might order her to
act more naturally as I walked to the back of the store. I pulled out the
item I had remembered and showed it to her, "You like pictures of
mountains, don't you? Let's put these posters up on your walls."

"Am I allowed to do that?" She reached her hand halfway towards the
package.

"We'll use sticky clay," I picked up a package of it, "That's always
allowed."

At the checkout counter I noticed the price tag on the poster set, and
turned to Yuki, "I'm sorry, but I don't have quite enough money on me
today. I'll bring these by later."

"I have the money," Yuki pulled a roll of bills out her pocket and placed
it in front of the old man behind the counter.

The old man pulled off the correct amount, pushed the roll back with
some change and then stopped to examine the bills, "Say."

"Is there some problem?" I asked him.

"It's just that some of these bills are more than thirty years old."

"Are they expired?"

"No, you just don't see them around very much anymore," the old man put the
posters and the sticky clay in a sack.

"She gets her allowance from her grandmother in the mountains."

Yuki took the sack and stepped back.

"She's so pretty and refined," The old man said, "Someday you should make
her yours."

"She already is."

Yuki blushed and turned away with head bowed and the old man just replied,
"Oh?"

Yeah, another store I could never enter again. Someday I'll have to learn
to turn off the snark.

Yuki made tea as I started putting up the posters around her living room. I
noticed that her kotatsu had the picture book I had selected open and two
new books from the library next to it.  She must have read and returned the
other three already and since one of those was checked out on my card, that
only left her two slots. I guess I'd need to save up to buy her a copy of
her favorite book. No point in showing her how to order books online as she
needed money for rent, if not for food. And that reminded me of something.

I set down across the kotatsu from Yuki and she poured me a cup of tea.

Then she looked up around the room and said, "Thank you Master Kyon!
They're so beautiful."

"It's just Kyon and it was your money," I looked out through the glass on
her patio doors and then back to her, "I'll get you some drapes with
reproductions of mountain paintings so you can have some privacy in here. A
curious thing happened today, Haruhi touched you and didn't complain about
feeling cold."

"She shares her warmth with us all and there is always more than enough for
everybody."

Yet another riddle instead of a straight answer, and Yuki, who froze people
with a touch, had ten times the human warmth of Haruhi, "Ryoko said that you
could not control your hunger, is that correct?"

"Yes Kyon, your servant is defective."

"She said you had not yet learned how to do so. So you can learn this?"

"Yes, I should have by now."

"Okay, you must learn how to do so quickly or you will not be able to
continue in your current situation. Do you understand?"

"Yes Maste-- Kyon. I will try," she bowed her head almost down to the table
top.

"Let me know when you are ready and we can try holding hands. If that is
okay with you?"

"Oh no, Kyon," She looked up blushing, "I don't deserve."

"None of us deserve our situation. We just need to make the best of it."

"Yes Kyon."

"Now let's go over what you will tell Haruhi about Ryoko tomorrow."

As I was having Yuki go through her spiel a second time my phone rang.

It was my sister, "Kyon, I tried to cover for you, but Mom's getting
suspicious. So kiss your boyfriend goodnight and get back here now."

"Thanks!" I hung up on her and rose.  I really did need to review her
reading material. At least she wasn't astute enough to figure out that I
was keeping a mass murdering monster girl as a pet.

I looked around and said, "Yuki, do you have a phone?"

"No Kyon."

"Lets go after school tomorrow or the next day and get you one."

"Thank you Kyon."

Wednesday afternoon in the clubroom, Haruhi listened to Yuki's carefully
scripted explanation for Ryoko's transfer with a scowl.

"That sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation to me," I offered.

"That's because you're an idiot Kyon!" Haruhi slammed her fist down on the
table, causing Mikuru to oh so carefully come close to, but not actually,
spill any of the tea as she refilled Haruhi's cup.

Haruhi paid no attention to Mikuru's maid-suited performance. She just
grabbed the cup of scalding hot tea and gulped half of it down. I had no
clue how she managed to not injure herself with her complete lack of common
sense.

Haruhi pointed at me with her hand that was holding the cup, "Ryoko got the
call to move over to her parents in Canada and just barely had time to pack
her bags before the plane left?"

"As she told Yuki later, it was a dying grandmother. That's not a situation
where you can wait a few days," As I had come up with the scenario, I had
it well memorized.

"And she had no time to call anybody on the way to the airport?"

"Who would she call in the middle of the night?"

"She was obviously abducted by aliens, time travelers or espers, and you're
obviously covering for them, Kyon. You are behind all this."

"Me? This is Yuki's story."

"I've seen how she works for you, following your every order. What's your
hold over her?"

"I got her a library card. It's the first kindeness any human being has
ever done for her. What have you ever done but order her around yourself?"

Haruhi opened her mouth and closed it. She knew I had her and was trying to
think of a way out. I was going to give it to her, in order to toss her off
her too obstute observations.

"Yuki," I turned to her, "Do you even own any clothing other than North
High School uniforms?"

"I have some kimonos."

"See," I turned back to Haruhi, "She's useless for undercover missions. The
brigade is crippled because you're not thinking things through. All this
time you've been dressing Mikuru up as a bunny or a maid for your amusement
at the clubroom and you haven't done one thing to improve our fieldwork."

"Brigade dismissed. Yuki, come with me," Haruhi grabbed Yuki's hand, who
took one glance to see my nod before she was dragged out of the clubroom.

A moment later I realized my deadly mistake and rose, "She's going to pop
Yuki like a bubble!"

Mikuru grabbed my hand, "No she isn't."

"What, but I thought you said you had to be extra careful to avoid that,
and careful just isn't in Haruhi's vocabulary."

"Even in her sleep my love truly wishes harm to none, not even a mass
murderer demon. I am sure that she will push away any sales girls and dress
Yuki with her own hands, as she does me."

That sleep metaphor again. I thought about it for a moment then asked
Mikuru, "Who exactly is Haruhi's brother?"

"She is an only child and a human being."

"So who is Yuki's former master?"

"Susanoo, lord of snowstorms and other storms."

"Sure, why not. I'm willing to accept anything at this point. And so where
is Amaterasu?"

"She sleeps inside the soul of Haruhi."

"Go wake her up already. What are you waiting for?"

"No human can look on the true face of Amaterasu and live. My love has
enough woes to weigh her down already, without tossing the death of a young
girl on the pile."

"Even if I believe all this, why shouldn't I believe that you are somehow
aligned with the forces of darkness to keep the goddess of light
incaptacitated, my dear lady Ame-no-Uzume-no-mikoto?"

"Perhaps I might offer a way out of this," Itsuki returned to the table
after pouring himself a cup of tea. He knew full well that Mikuru's
pretence of being our maid only extended to those times when Haruhi was
present.

"Yes?" I turned to him.

"My cousin is getting married this Saturday and I will get you an
invitation. Since this is a social event, there will be those of my kind of
my organization, those that follow the lord of storms, and others. I will
meet you in front of your house at seven a.m. Bring a raincoat."

"I already looked up the long range forecast," I stood and grabbed my
jacket, "It's going to be clear through the weekend."

"Oh, it will be both clear and rainy on Saturday morning," Itsuki made his
usual irititating closed eyes smile, "Come alone, as your slave is most
certainly not invited. But you can bring your sister if you like."

I was halfway through the door before I turned and responded to him, "Don't
threaten my family!" Then I closed the door and walked away.

-HJC