[FFML] [Lime] The Eclipse of Haruhi Suzumiya

[Henry Cobb]

I did some tiny rewrites of previous chapters to match my new concept,
but mostly the events happened as they happened so I don't see the
point of reposting them. The big change is that nobody ever tells Kyon
that Haruhi has a brother, because she doesn't.

So on to murder by snuggling.

[Lime] The Eclipse of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three
By Henry J. Cobb

On Monday morning I found Haruhi Suzumiya face down on her desk, with Ryoko
Asakura, the student president of our classroom, standing next to her.

Ryoko turned to me and said, "I wonder what happened to her," Then walked
away to her own desk.

Had I seen an accusation in her eyes? Or was it just concern for a
classmate? I watched Ryoko for a moment, then turned to my own desk. It was
just my imagination running away with me again. Sure, it's my fault that
the Yakuza princess was feeling down. That's fine. Just leave my
family out of it. I thanked whatever gods there were for giving me an easy
way out of a deadly situation as I took my seat.

"I made up for your trickery yesterday."

Okay, I wasn't going to get off that easily. I turned in my seat and asked
Hurahi, "What?"

"I searched the area we two were supposed to have covered, by myself on
Sunday."

Oh, that, "And what mysteries did you find?"

"Nothing! It's like everybody is keeping it all just out of my grasp."

"So it didn't matter what we did on Saturday after all."

"I apologize for my madness."

"What? Well, they say that the first step is to admit that you have a
problem."

"Even I suffer sometimes from the madness of love. It's just a chemical
imbalance in our biological brains."

You're the one who's chemically unbalanced, I thought, but said nothing.

"Don't worry," Hurahi continued, "I see you for what you are now. Just
another ordinary lying cheating human male. Well buster, you can take your
little one track mind and move on to the next station. Because I don't want
to see anymore of that kind of behavior when you are engaged in SOS Brigade
activities."

So I wasn't going to be kicked out of the club after all. I may have sighed
as I saw my hopes dashed once again.

"Now we have the full roster of character types," She continued, "I'm the
leader, and we've got moe, shy glasses girl, mysterious transfer student,
and idiotic comedy relief mascot."

I didn't have to ask which role she had for me.

"Now we just need some flashy event to happen, call us forwards and make
our moment of greatness. Why won't it happen?" She returned to her face
down posture.

I considered for a moment getting a photograph of myself printed out life
sized, gluing it to a cardboard stand and placing it in the clubroom so
that Hurahi could have many hours of enjoyment and or therapy by relating
her mad schemes to it, without bothering another soul. Well, Yuki would
probably be sitting there and trying to read all that time. No point in
curing one girl, just to drive another insane.

"Is that what you need?"

I jumped in my seat. I had been so intent on Hurahi's rant that I hadn't
even noticed that Ryoko had returned to stand next to us.

"Some unfathomable mystery to arrive without warning?" Ryoko continued,
"Wouldn't that be interesting!" She smiled and walked back to her desk.

At lunchtime Hurahi returned to her face down sulk so I grabbed my lunch
and rose.

She grabbed onto my sleeve, and without looking up asked, "Where are you
going?"

"To the clubroom. I need to work on our web site."

"Oh!" She looked up, "I put the Mikuru maid photos on the computer. Upload
those to the web page."

Like hell I would. The last thing we needed was to have some of Mikuru's
former clients sniffing around the school.

At the clubroom I noticed that Yuki was in her usual spot reading by the
window. I said "Hi" and she even looked up for a moment before returning to
her reading. Did she ever eat anything? I remembered how on Saturday she
had first ordered just ice water until Haruhi had prodded her and then she
had taken iced tea, without sugar or lemon. No wonder she was so thin and
short that she could have passed for a first year junior high student three
years younger. It seemed strange that she'd be put under social pressure to
adopt an extreme diet when she never went out anyplace where society could
influence her.

I turned on the computer and waited for it to boot.

"How does that work?"

I looked up. Yuki had put down her book and was standing next to me.

"Don't you know how to use computers?" I asked her.

"No."

"What, did you spend your whole life in a cave?"

"Yes."

"Those bastards!" I had almost forgotten Yuki's secret master, Haruhi's
hidden brother, the Yakuza boss.

Yuki backed up a step.

"It's not your fault," I rose and pointed to the swivel seat in front of
the computer, "Sit here."

Yuki stood where she was so I took a step back and she sat down in front of
the computer.

"Now take hold of the mouse."

She looked under the desk, "There are no mice here."

I talked Yuki through basic computer operation and even got her to a search
engine web page. "Now click in that box and type in a search string."

Yuki looked around the desk, "Where is the string?"

"Just type in a word or phrase that you'd like more information on, then
press the enter key there to submit the form."

She typed in "Kyon" and hit Enter.

The results that came up had absolutely nothing to do with myself of
course. I suggested that she click on the first link, which was a company
website, and read that page.

Satisfied that she had the basic operation down I sat down next to her and
opened my lunch. "Can I offer you something to eat?"

"No," Yuki continued to read the computer screen.

Okay, that's fine I told myself. I resolved to come by every lunch period,
and have food nearby for her, without pressure. At some point she'd relax
and partake.

That afternoon Haruhi reviewed the reports from Saturday and Yuki made a
brief presentation of the history of our city. After the club meeting I
went down to change into my street shoes and found a note in my locker. I
pocketed it before anybody could notice and reviewed it in my room at
home.

The note said only, "Meet me in front of the school at eight p.m. tonight,"
and was unsigned, except for a cutesy heart.

It wasn't Yuki's careful handwriting or the kind of note Haruhi would make
where she'd start on one topic then come back and put completely tangential
comments in the margins. That left either Mikuru or possibly Itsuki, if
he was gay. It didn't matter, I had questions to ask either of them.

I tried to sneak out, but my sister had planned her ambush too well, "Are
you going on another date Kyon?"

"None of your business."

"What's his name?"

I left with the silent resolve to check the kinds of manga she read and
report the offending titles to our parents.

I reviewed the questions I would ask the mysterious pair as I walked up the
hill to school, and then I stopped. Ryoko was standing in front of the
locked school gates.

"Hi," I pulled the note out of my pocket, "Is this from you?"

She walked up and took the note from my hand, "Why yes it is," She threw
her arms around me, "I'm so happy that you came here."

I had been comfortable a moment earlier and suddenly I was freezing.

"Wh-what's going on?" I could hear my teeth chattering.

"Enough of that now," Ryoko leaned up to kiss me and my entire mouth just
went numb. She started rubbing against me, "Oh yeah, that's the good
stuff."

The sharp edge of the cold was fading into a general numbness. I was
finding it difficult to breathe through my nose and my mouth wouldn't open
at all.

"Now, let's go someplace more private and finish this. If that's okay with
you Dear," Ryoko gathered me like a frozen turkey under her left arm. Then
she ran forwards and jumped to vault off the top of the school gate with
her right hand. In midair she shifted her grip to hold me in front of her
body with both hands, and landed inside the school yard with knees slightly
bent.

"Big sister!"

I caught a glimpse of Yuki squeezing through the bars of the school
gate. She was probably the only person in our school who was thin enough to
do that and she had to take her glasses off to fit her head through.

"What is it little Yuki?" Ryoko turned towards the smaller girl and lifted
me up like a platter, "As you can see I'm having dinner now. Can't it
wait?"

Yuki finally wiggled through the bars, "No, don't kill him! Master will be
angry."

"Perhaps you're right," Ryoko dropped me onto my back, "I shouldn't kill
him after all."

"Kyon!" Yuki ran towards me, but was stopped when Ryoko grabbed her
arm. Yuki turned to the taller girl and asked, "What?"

Ryoko grabbed both of Yuki's arms behind her back and then threw her to the
ground. She placed her left knee on the Yuki's back as she pulled out a
large roll of silver duct tape. Where had she been hiding that? She then
proceeded to tape Yuki's arms together behind her back and then started
taping Yuki's legs together.

"Big sister!" Yuki tried to struggle, but was clearly over matched, "What
are you doing?"

"Poor thing," Ryoko picked her up, "Not only are you so thin, but you're
obviously starving. It's time you had a nice full meal."

Yuki looked at how she was being carried towards me, "Big sister, no!"

I still couldn't move, but I felt a tingling all over as my circulation
started up again.

"Now, now, don't eat with your mouth open," Ryoko put her down for a moment
so she could tape Yuki's mouth shut then she picked up the smaller girl and
dropped her on top of me.

The cold returned even stronger than before.

Ryoko lifted our heads up a bit so she could tape our necks together, "But
our master could never stay angry at his dear sweet little Yuki. Now could
he?"

I couldn't even feel my cheek that was pressed up against Yuki's, but I
could see her crying. Strangely instead of teardrops, she cried snowflakes.

"I'll leave you two to get comfortable together," Ryoko left the duct tape
roll on the ground and stood, "Now Yuki, I suggest you take this time to
practice what you'll say when they find you tomorrow morning. As for myself
I think I'll go with: But Master, I had no idea that you'd send Yuki on a
mission to the humans without first training her how to control her
hunger."

Wack!

"Ow!" Ryoko stumbled to the side and raised her hand to touch her cheek
where she'd just been kicked, "How dare you mark the face of a pure
innocent maiden!"

"Don't blame your virginity on me, little girl," Mikuru stood facing her,
"You've had many decades alone with cold stiffs in the mountains."

"I don't play with my food," Ryoko stood and backed away from Mikuru, "Are
you sure you have time to finish me off? My hostage over there won't last
very long."

"Why should I bother? Your master owes me very much indeed and anything I
could think of doing to you would be a thousand times kinder than his
slightest whim. You'd best start running now."

"I'll be back," Ryoko crossed her arms in front of herself. She was covered
by a sudden snow flurry, and then she was gone.

Mikuru pulled out a tanto from a lacquered wooden sheath. It looked like
either a museum piece or a very good replica. Was every girl carrying a
large invisible purse tonight? She bent down and cut the tape that bound me
to Yuki, then tossed Yuki a meter away.

Mikuru stood and looked down at me, "Are you going to survive?"

I tried to say so, but couldn't force words through my frozen throat, so
simply nodded.

Mikuru moved over and cut Yuki's bonds.

Yuki flexed her limbs for a moment then knelled towards me with her face to
the ground and sobbed out some more snowflakes, "I'm so sorry, so very
sorry."

"Shall I destroy this monster?" Mikuru held her knife over Yuki's neck.

"Yes please," Yuki didn't look up.

"No!" My throat ached as I forced the word out.

"How many human beings have you killed?" Mikuru asked Yuki.

"Twenty three. Eighteen men, three women, a boy, and a girl."

"That's not nearly enough to sustain you for fifty years," Mikuru looked
Yuki over, "You're thin, but not that thin."

"I mostly lived on animals. I only went down the mountain when the hunger
was too much to bear."

"Including foxes?"

"Yes. Please kill me now. As you say, my master shall forgive you."

"No wonder Itsuki fears you," Mikuru turned to me, "You heard her. Shall
I grant her fondest wish?"

"No, let her live," I could just start to feel life returning to my limbs.

"Ryoko wasn't lying. Yuki is starving. I'm amazed she hasn't feasted on
anyone in this town of yours. If we leave her like this, she's sure to
faint and then some poor passerby will bend down to check on her. Are you
prepared for the consequences of that?"

"Is there no other way?"

"Yes there is. I do this as a personal favor for you, little boy, and I never
forget my favors. See to it that you do not forget either," Mikuru put her
tanto back in its sheath and it vanished. She picked Yuki up by the
shoulders and kissed her.

I could see Yuki's cheek bulge out as Mikuru worked her tongue in. Then
Yuki put her arms around Mikuru and closed her eyes.

Taniguchi was standing outside the school gate and staring at the two
girls. He saw me looking at him, then he turned and walked away saying, "I
saw nothing, nothing."

Mikuru had kept her eyes open during the kiss and studied Yuki. When Yuki
started to blush, Mikuru broke the kiss off and asked her, "Are you still
hungry?"

Yuki looked into her eyes, "No, Mistress."

"You are to tell me when you do feel hungry again. Do you understand,
little girl?"

"Yes, Mistress."

If Mikuru thought Yuki was fifty and that still made her a little girl,
then how old must she herself be?

Mikuru bent down to pick me up, "Are you okay Kyon?"

"I will be. Why weren't you affected by the cold?"

"I have danced naked in the snow of the coldest darkest night of the
coldest darkest winter there ever was. This is nothing. The problem is to
not overdo it or she'd swell up and pop like a bubble before I even notice
any drain," Mikuru turned to Yuki, "You dropped your glasses by the gate."

"Thank you, Mistress," Yuki bowed to her, walked back over to the gate and
picked them up.

"If you don't need them to read and you can see them plainly in this
darkness then why do you need glasses?" I asked Yuki.

"My master said that they would allow me to blend in better with the humans."

"I think you look cuter without them," I half hopped along with Mikuru's
support, my limbs attacked by countless invisible pins and needles.

"Okay," Yuki walked over and dropped her glasses in the trashcan.

"Your master is not human?" I tried to feel my toes.

"He is now, Master."

Mikuru nudged me, "Order her not to call you that, ever. Please."

"Yuki, call me Kyon."

"As you wish Kyon."

"About that bit earlier. You aren't intending to run off and kill yourself
the moment we're not looking, are you?"

"No Kyon, I will take good care of your property."

"Property?"

"My life no longer belongs to my previous master. It is yours now, Kyon. I
will not discard it against your wishes or interests. Correct, Mistress?"

"Yes, your value is but a pebble against the mountains of good favor I have
with the dark lord. But Kyon," Mikuru turned back to me, "tell her not to
call me that."

"Yuki, address Mikuru by the name she goes by here, as if she were an
ordinary schoolgirl."

"Yes Kyon."

"And Yuki, tell that guy that he can still relay messages through you."

"Yes Kyon."

I had done it. I had freed Yuki, and from a fate far worse than I had
feared for her. Why did it make me feel like a sleazebag?

The next morning I considered everything that happened that night to be
just a dream, until Taniguchi caught up with me.

"What was all that last night in the schoolyard?"

"Look," I turned to him, "You know me. I can always make up some slightly
plausible explanation for anything. Well today, I'm all out. So all I can
suggest is that perhaps Haruhi snuck up behind you and breathed on you. You
caught a whiff of whatever it is that she's on and then you just
hallucinated the scene in the schoolyard."

"It's that bad?"

"It's worse." On the way to classes I stopped for an instant to glance in
the trashcan. Yuki's glasses were under some other trash, including the
roll of duct tape. I left them there.

-HJC
And that is the yuri chapter. Okay you caught me.
Now I've got an excuse for yuri in every chapter!