[FFML] [SYnY] The Melancholy of the Kyon Twins

[Henry Cobb]

[SYnY] The Melancholy of the Kyon Twins
By Henry J. Cobb

[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters are the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa,
etc. No infringement of their rights is intended.]

Come on, come on, think of something. There has to be someway out of this
endless summer. "Haruhi, I..."

"Yes Kyon?"

"Nothing."

"Kyon, sometimes it's just so hard to talk to you. I like how you're
mostly dependable, but if only there was somebody like you I could relate
to better." Haruhi Suzumiya stood and left the cafe.

I had failed.

On Sunday morning I got up, without hope of seeing the next Monday. It
would never come of course. I walked into the dinning room for breakfast
and stopped. There was an unfamiliar girl of around my age and my sister was
missing.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Now Kyon, don't tease your little sister." My mom said.

"Little? I'm like five minutes younger than he is." The strange girl signaled
out of my parents line of sight for me to sit down.

I sat and put up for the charade throughout breakfast then headed to my
little sister's room afterwards. This was clearly a girl's room, but for a
girl who was older than my sister had been.

The girl followed me into the room and shut the door. "What is it Kyon? Has
something strange happened again? Haruhi messed with the world or your
head?"

"My little sister is five years younger than me, not five minutes."

"What? Let's see, Itsuki could have changed your memories or Mikuru could
have messed up the time stream. Do you think Yuki could make such a massive
change outside of a closed space?" The strange girl sat at her desk.

"I think Haruhi wished this change."

"That assumes that your memories are correct and mine are false."

"Yuki!" We both blurted out at the same moment.

I was stunned by this synchronicity, but my strange new sister seemed to
expect it and so she continued. "Yuki will have access to information from
both sides. And she can help us with our summer homework."

"My little sister, unlike me, always did her homework on time."

"I blame that habit on your bad influence, Kyon. And call me Kyonko, like
you always do."

"I don't see the point of bothering with homework while we're stuck in this
time loop."

"What time loop?"

We gathered up our homework, told our Mom that we were off to study with a
friend and set off.

On the way to Yuki's apartment I explained to Kyonko how the last two weeks
of August had been in an endless time loop. She related back to me a single
trip through the same two weeks with a slightly different series of events
that included herself.

We explained our versions to Yuki in her room.

Yuki sat back and froze for a moment.

"Looks like she's accessing her network storage again," Kyonko said.

Yuki moved again. "Kyon's timeline is the original."

"Does that mean I have to go poof?" Kyonko asked.

Yuki turned to her. "The introduction of the Kyonko element has broken the
time loop."

I thought about this then said, "so if we get Haruhi to erase this change
then we go back into the time loop?"

"Assuming that it holds. The current time element is under considerable
stress and further changes may cause unpredictable effects."

"Then we need to call in the rest of the SOS Brigade and consult them."
Kyonko thought for a moment. "Except for Haruhi of course."

"So what else has changed in this setting?" I asked Yuki.

"There are fewer closed spaces and Haruhi is under less stress."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"I think I see it." Kyonko turned to me. "If I wasn't there to handle her
complaints about you, then she wouldn't be able to blow off as much steam
in my ear."

"So you have fewer ''boiler explosions'' than I've had to deal with?"

"Oh, it happens. There she blows again. You call Mikuru and I'll call
Itsuki, and get them to come over here. And bring their homework, of
course."

"Why call in that order?"

"Because he's my boyfriend, duh." Kyonko pulled out her phone and hit the
first speed dial number on it.

Well at least all those times Itsuki had invaded my personal space, he
wasn't just interested in my body.

Once the gang was assembled, we compared notes and Yuki and I were the only
ones who remembered the time loop. We agreed to leave things as they were
for the moment. Kyonko copied down the homework that Itsuki had done, while
I merged Mikuru's and Yuki's.

After a while Kyonko's phone rang and she answered it. "Hi Haruhi. Just
getting my homework done. I'm over at Yuki's place. Oh, Kyon's here
also. The rest of the gang too." Kyonko held her phone at arms length while
Haruhi shouted over the phone, then brought it back to her face. "Okay,
we'll see you then."

A few minutes later Haruhi rang Yuki's intercom and then just three minutes
later she banged on the door (instead of ringing the doorbell).

I tried to remember if Haruhi had ever visited Yuki's apartment.

Yuki let her in, and Haruhi bent over for a moment breathing deeply. Had she
run all this way?

Haruhi stormed over to the table and pulled Kyonko and me up by our
collars. "Treasonous conspirators! How dare you hold a Brigade meeting
without me?"

"But you said you had already finished your homework and --"

Haruhi cut Kyonko off at that point. "That is no excuse! The next time you
try to conspire behind my back I will have you both high dive into the pool
from the top of the school building, twenty times, naked!" Haruhi then
turned to me. "Come on Kyon, you're treating."

"What?"

"At the cafe. It's the penalty for betraying me like this, and payment for
my tutoring. Which you two obviously need if you still haven't managed to
finish your homework by now."

When we got back to Yuki's place, Haruhi sat between me and Kyonko and read
down both our pages at the same time, finding mistakes the others had
missed.

That evening as we were about to split up, I stopped and stared as Kyonko
and Itsuki kissed each other on the lips.

Then Haruhi kissed me on the cheek, walked off a little bit, turned and
waved, "Bye Kyon, see you in the morning."

Kyonko waited until we were out of the sight of the others then said,
"Kyon, I couldn't tell which surprised you more, my kiss or hers."

"How far have you gone with Itsuki?"

"Just that far. Holding hands, kissing, nothing serious. Say, did mini-me
have a boyfriend in your universe?"

"Of course not."

"So, Itsuki didn't have a girlfriend either?"

"No." And I wasn't about to tell Kyonko what he had been like either.

"So why the change in him?" Kyonko walked along silently for a moment then
snapped her fingers. "It's Haruhi. I talk with Haruhi about my
relationship, and this sets out guidelines for how she deals with
you. Well, at least I don't have to deal with a hidden rival. I do get
complaints all the time about what is the cutest boy in school doing with a
dog like me, but each time I just give them permission to ask Itsuki
out. He shoots them down instantly of course, and says something like we
share a common bond. If only they knew the half of that."

I had to admit, that like my previous younger sister, this changed sister
still seemed to be happier in life than I was, and more talkative. Perhaps
it was the Japanese expectation that men were supposed to be more reserved
that kept me snarking to myself instead of reaching out to connect with
other people.

"So, did Yuki or Mikuru change any?"

"What?" I turned to Kyonko. "No, not that I noticed."

"Was Mikuru your girlfriend in the other universe?"

"No."

"Yeah, that old bit about how she can't date anybody from this time
period. Hmmm. Why don't we compare notes about the differences in our
adventures?"

I started from the day I met Haruhi and I found that in this new world
Kyonko had been the one to comment on Haruhi's bizarre hairstyles and had
usually been accompanying Haruhi whenever I had a grunt job like looking up
student club rules. Kyonko had taken the job of web site designer and
seemed to have done a better job of it than I had. However the old me here
had still been the one to be attacked by Ryoko Asakura and had gone back in
time to draw Haruhi's chalk pattern, and in each case Kyonko had been
talking to Haruhi at that time.

"So I'm actually three years older than you." I pointed out.

"No fair! Three years frozen in time does not count."

"So when did you hook up with Itsuki?"

"Well I guess it started on our first mystery hunt. In the morning we split
into three pairs and I got Itsuki by random."

Monday morning I found that, while I still sat in front of Haruhi, Kyonko
had the desk to her right. I tried to remember which student had set there
in the old timeline. I suppose I had been too wrapped up in Haruhi to even
notice. We all sat around Haruhi's desk for lunch and talked about the
things that "we" had done that summer. Most of them matched to my memory.

After classes Kyonko whispered to me, "I'm going to change in the clubroom,
as is usual here. So wait a few minutes, or you might see more of your
sister than you really want to."

I took my time, and knocked on the clubroom door anyway for the all clear.

Kyonko noticed my staring at her nurse outfit so walked over and whispered
to me, "What is it Kyon?"

"You look a bit fuller in that outfit than usual."

"Oh. Haruhi had ordered it in Mikuru's size, and then when I mentioned I
was intending to be a doctor one day, we had to adjust it. I was okay with
cutting it down to fit, but Haruhi insisted on padding it." Kyonko raised
her voice. "What do you think Itsuki? Does this outfit make me look fat?"

"Alas, my dear. I am far too blinded by my love for you to ever see you
plainly. It's all those roses that pop into view whenever I look at
you. They get in my eyes and I can't see a thing."

Yes, Itsuki hadn't changed at all.

"Smart answer." Kyonko dropped into his lap for a moment to kiss him on the
cheek.

I felt like somebody was watching me and turned towards Haruhi (who was
dressed in her bunny outfit), but she looked away.

On the way back to our house I said to Kyonko, "you really seem to be the
glue that holds the Brigade together."

"What? No, you are. Or at least the old you was."

"How so?"

"My Kyon was the only one who was really comfortable around Yuki. I've
tried, but I've always wound up thinking of her like an ATM machine for
wishes, rather than a person. Also Mikuru seemed to trust you the most. She
picked you to go back in time and reveal her older self to. Kyon would run
the secret meetings and he'd decide on what I should tell Haruhi and then
my job was to go to her and make that sale."

[That's about all I feel like pushing this one for. If you want to take
over this then just drop me a note and it's yours.]

-HJC