[FFML] [SHnY] Taniguchi and Kunikida are dead, chapter six of six.

[Henry Cobb]

Taniguchi and Kunikida are dead, chapter six of six.
By Henry J. Cobb

[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters and situations are the creation of Nagaru
Tanigawa. Other than that, he's blameless for the following.]

On the Thursday afternoon bike ride home, I asked Sasaki why she had given
in to Suzumiya about the movie.

"Kyon, you make it sound like we're bitter rivals. While I don't know her
feelings, I still admire her. I remember feeling left out, when she'd lead
her elementary class on some sort of interesting activity. Well now I
finally am in the same room, so club or brigade, it doesn't matter. We've
found a way to all be on the same page and leave nobody out."

"Except Suou."

"Just let her come along at her own pace. I'm sure she'll surprise as all
some day. I'm amazed that Nagato would push her own idea out there like
that. I think I smell some of your handiwork in that?"

"You have a keen nose. Nagato just wanted to bounce the concept off me
first. She's a big science fiction fan, as you can see from what she
reads. Her apartment is starting to get big stacks of books, so remind me
at the meeting tomorrow, to say that we need to help her carry up some
bookcases."

"So how many times have you been inside Nagato's apartment?" Sasaki
slightly tightened her hands on my shoulders.

"Just twice. Is she your rival for something?"

"Fu fu fu fu. Of course not. I'm just concerned for two friends of mine,
that's all."

That evening Nagato texted me to complain about Suzumiya's hijacking of
her story.

"Perhaps she's doing you a favor?"

There was a noticeable delay, then Nagato texted back. "What?"

"Using a boy moves it even further away."

"But the other things she's adding."

"Let her, but write your own story."

"Isn't the book going to be about her story?"

"With one chapter for the short story the movie is based on."

"Can we do it?"

"It's not a lie, is it?"

"I guess?"

"So write down your notes so far, and bring them to the clubroom tomorrow,
so we can get started on that part."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

At lunch on Friday, a girl with dark green hair came to the door of
our classroom. "Which one of you is Kyon?"

I put my empty bento away and excused myself from Sasaki and
Kunikida. "Can I help you, Miss?"

"Tsuruya." She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the windows away from the
classrooms, then she released me and looked me over.

I felt like a fish swimming down a stream under the hungry eye of a
stork. "Is there some problem?"

"You tell me. My friend Mikuru-chan's been real depressed ever since she
joined your club."

"Oh, that."

"Yeah, what is it?"

With all the problems with Nagato, not to mention the squabbling
goddesses, I had overlooked whatever that problem Asahina said she had
with time travel. What exactly was I getting dragged into? "Look, if
you're such a good friend of hers, why don't you ask her yourself?"

"I've tried. She just clams up and shakes her head. If you've gotten her
in trouble, then I sure hope for your sake that you're ready to take
responsibility for it."

"I don't think our friend would appreciate having people say such things
so loudly. And no, from what little I understand, that is not her
problem."

Tsuruya looked almost ready to strike me, but then the bell sounded,
announcing the imminent start of classes. "Don't think you've gotten out of
this bunko. I'll be keeping my eye on you."

I hurried back to classes. Sasaki had questions, but no time to ask them,
as the teacher had arrived.

At the meeting that afternoon, Suzumiya said that we'd meet at the cafe on
Saturday to take up the location finding for her movie. I explained that I
had to go to Nagato's to help her move in some bookshelves. She exploded
at this, but finally made it a brigade mission, to get it out of the way.

We met at Nagato's apartment and Suzumiya had exactly the response I
expected. She loved the free space in Nagato's apartment and wanted Nagato
to buy some furniture so she could use the place for her interior shots.

Koizumi mysteriously not only had a friend with a truck available, but also
knew of some places that were trying to get rid of excess furniture.

The next weekend was at the start of June and Suzumiya executed a plan to
get a video camera and props. By this point Sasaki had become the go
between who dealt with Nagato on the writing side and Suzumiya on the
movie ideas side. At lunch I was now the one to turn my chair around while
Sasaki pulled her chair over to Suzumiya's desk. The two goddesses would
talk while I ate in silence.

I met with Asahina and asked her about her time travel problems, but she
could only provide small details. She didn't know much herself and had
expected to rely on a future she could no longer contact.

The weekend after that we were out filming when Suzumiya shouted cut.

I turned off the video camera and put it to the side to rest my arm.

"You can't just give Koizumi a peck on the cheek, Tachibana." Suzumiya
walked up to them.

"What?"

Suzumiya grabbed Sasaki, who had put down the reflector board, wrapped her
arms around her neck, and kissed her. I could even see Suzumiya's tongue
move against the inside of Sasaki's cheek.

After a full minute, Suzumiya broke off the kiss and turned back to the
pair of espers. She kept an arm around Sasaki's waist as Sasaki leaned
against her. "Now, that's the way you do a kiss."

"I can't do that on camera!"

"Sure, you can."

"The whole school will see it!"

"Do you want to be a famous actress or not?"

Something about that prodded me into action. I thought about all day at
school on Monday, but couldn't see how to pull it off.

There was only one person I could ask about all of this, and it was
somebody I had to keep out of the loop. Finally on the ride to her house,
I figured out a way to ask the question, without spilling the
beans. "Sasaki, I've got this idea for Nagato's story, but I don't have
it all figured out, so I thought I'd ask you about it first. If you don't
mind?"

"No, go right ahead."

"Her time traveling character gets stuck in the past and has to deal with
another time traveler who is jumping around and making things difficult
for him. The only problem is that the enemy time traveler never reveals
her face. So how do you defeat somebody who is watching from a future
perspective and keeping to the shadows?"

"That's a tough one. Presumably the person in the future will have access
to the full historical record, and so will be able to adjust for anything
people in the past have done."

I pedaled in silence for a minute as I thought about what she had
said. "Thanks. That's it."

"Yeah, yeah?"

"Let me think about it for a bit longer, but I think I see how to do it
now."

When I got home, I went to my desk, turned on the radio as loudly as I was
allowed, and took out my homework. As I pretended to read my math
textbook, I let my hand drop down to the hilt of the invisible knife on my
belt.

"Let's run away together." I whispered.

"Is this what you humans call madness?" Asakura's voice sounded in my
head.

"A mere human has been messing with Yuki. Will you help me catch them or not?"

"Very well, who is it?"

"I do not know. I doubt they've even been born yet." I outlined my plan to
Asakura and finally got her agreement. She even agreed that my two victims
were in her opinion expendable, and that she would bring me the elements
needed for my mad scheme.

The next day I went off at lunch and dropped notes off in both of their
lockers that read: "Suzumiya and Sasaki seem to have chosen each other. If
you've got any ideas for how I can break them apart and get in there
myself, then please meet me at the top of the stairway after school
today. -Kyon"

I excused myself early from the clubroom, but the two goddesses were so busy
haggling about story ideas that they didn't notice.

Taniguchi and Kunikida were surprised to find that I'd called them both
up, but they were willing to listen to my woes about the lesbian
couple. We sat down next to the locked door at the top of the stairway and
after a half hour of them pleading the cases for their factions, I offered
them tea from my thermos.  Within a few minutes they nodded off. I turned
off their cell phones and tied them both up.

I waited for the school to turn dark and silent, then finally I drew the
combat knife and sliced through the roof lock with one swipe. A most
impressive weapon, but it would have only one chance.

I tied the ropes firmly then gently lowered the two agents over the side
of the roof. A single glance assured me that the drop would be fatal.

I sat back and waited for a few hours.  Then I stood and put my hands
loosely at my sides. "I guess they're not going to show. Ah well, I'll hit
the road and vanish from the history books now."

"What do you think you are doing?" A unfamiliar boy asked from behind me.

I turned around to face him, and carefully crossed my arms to leave my side
free. "Are you the one who has disrupted Yuki?"

"So what if I have? What is your excuse for doing this? Don't you realize
the dangers if the authorities are forced to take you away? You can't just
leave things like this."

"I'm not the one who messed things up. You are."

I was pushed to the side by a sudden gust of wind. It felt like a bullet
train, but it was only one girl shaped object. She grabbed the knife from
my belt and plunged it into the stranger's left eye before he could react.

He shuddered and died.

"Why didn't you go at me that fast the first time, Asakura?"

"I have learned my lesson about you humans. I will not hesitate from now
on."

"So he was a time traveler?"

"The TPDD is built into their brains. That needs to be shut down in order
to stop them."

"Give me a hand with the two stooges."

"Save them yourself." Asakura picked up the body and vanished. She didn't
even leave a bloodstain behind.

I pulled them up, untied them and slapped them awake.

"What?"

"What the hell did you do, Kyon?"

"I just did something for Asakura. You know what she is, so do you want to
trouble her any further about this?"

Nobody did raise a stink about it, and that weekend Asahina called my
cellphone at home to tell me to meet her at the park near Nagato's.

When I met her, she explained that her connection with the future had been
restored. The timelines were still tangled up and she'd need my help in
the next few days to make some trips to the past.

"Won't that negate all of this?"

"No. You've established some new fixed points, but there are some
paradoxes in the past that need to be seen to, or classified information
will happen."

Nagato's faction agreed to keep her human, in an attempt to better
communicate with Suou, or so they said. I think it was just that they were
soft on her.

Whenever Asakura sees Nagato, she gives her a look that's a strange cross
between contempt and longing. I don't dare mention this to her, because
she's got the knife back.

-HJC