[FFML] [SHnY] Taniguchi and Kunikida are dead.

[Henry Cobb]

On Thu, Aug 11, 2011 at 7:12 PM, Michael Clark <eta.bootis at gmail.com> wrote:
> I think I started laughing uncontrollably at this point.  Goodness, just
> what's happened to this timeline?  Will Haruhi realize she knew Sasaki
> all along?

I won't spoil anything (other than completely spoiling it when I
showed the penultimate scene at the very start), so here's the next
part.

[SHnY] Taniguchi and Kunikida are dead, chapter three.
By Henry J. Cobb

[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters and situations are the creation of Nagaru
Tanigawa. Other than that, he's blameless for the following.]

The Thursday morning trip to school passed silently. Sasaki had still come
over to my house for the bike ride, she just didn't say much to me and I
still couldn't find words to describe what she had saved me from.

Asakura departed from her usual routine of handing things directly to each
student. She handed one pile of tests to each student in the front row
with instructions to pass them down. She warned that we were being watched
and her eternal smile faded for a moment as she frowned directly at me.

Taniguchi looked back at me with a confused look then turned forwards to
take the pile of tests being handed back.

I was still so nervous of being in the same room as Asakura, that I didn't
do very well on that test.

Sasaki and Kunikida ate lunch at my desk as usual, and as we were wrapping
up Taniguchi walked over.

"Kyon, what did you say to Asakura to piss her off?"

I looked around and saw that she wasn't in the classroom. Even with her
incredible powers, did she still need to use the bathroom?

"I think she's angry with me, sorry."

"What? Why Sasaki?"

"Sorry, I've said too much." Sasaki picked up her empty bento and turned
her chair around to face her desk.

"But isn't Asakura on Suzumiya's side?" Kunikida asked.

"What?" I asked him.

Taniguchi and Kunikida froze for a moment, then turned and returned
silently to their desks. I could feel the same trigger, it was that sense
of impending doom that occurred whenever Suzumiya entered a room with
Sasaki in it. Strange how the other students never seemed to notice it.

After classes I made sure to stick closely behind Sasaki on the walk to the
clubroom. Suzumiya walked alongside Sasaki, but neither spoke to each
other. Kunikida said he had an activity with his real club and so couldn't
attend today.

In the clubroom, Asahina and Suou were in their regular chairs, but Nagato
had joined them at the table and was writing something in a notebook. She
looked up as we entered. "Miss Suzumiya, you said you were interested in
time travelers?"

Suou turned ever so slightly towards Nagato. Asahina's mouth widened in
shock. Sasaki sighed.

Suzumiya's face brightened. "Yes?"

"I'm a time traveler."

"Really?" Suzumiya almost skipped over to Nagato. "What year are you
from?"

"This year. I'm from December. I thought Mr. Kyon had been playing a trick
on me, but the questions on the test today were exactly as I had
remembered from May and nobody else in the classroom noticed."

"What proof do you have for this claim?" Sasaki asked.

"Yes! This could be our big chance to raise funds for the brigade. Do you
have winning lottery numbers, stock market moves, political events, or
other market moving news events?" As usual, Suzumiya thought first for
herself, even given something that could turn the entire world upside
down.

"I didn't pay much attention to the news, but maybe there's something on
the computer? Has anybody seen my computer? It was right here on the
table. The Computer Club gave it to me during summer vacation. Oh wait,
it's just May, isn't it?" Nagato looked down at the pages in her notebook.

"So you don't have any physical proof for this claim." Sasaki stated it as
a fact, not a question.

"My memories are real, I know it."

"So what will you have done this year?"

"Mostly I attended classes and read novels, but I did have make a few
friends. Come along, and I'll prove it." Nagato rose and led us all down
to the Computer Club. Even Suou drifted along with us.

The Computer Club president demanded to know who we were. Nagato
introduced herself as the president of the Literature Club and addressed
each member of the Computer Club by name. She told each one of them
something she said they had shared with her, and each seemed shocked to
hear these things.

"Wait, wait, wait. When did you met us?" The Computer Club president asked
Nagato.

"It was at the start of summer vacation, later this year. We were some of
the only students left around, and you seemed very disturbed. I asked you
what the problem was, and you said you had a bug in Day of Sagittarius
III. You finally let me look at it, and I figured it out. So then you gave
me that computer over there."

"Oh come on, we haven't even finished Day of Sagittarius II yet. One of
you jokers must be putting her up to this, right?" He looked over his
club, but nobody volunteered.

"You said Day of Sagittarius II was boring and that the big change in III
was the addition of hidden movement and scouting."

He turned back to Nagato. "Damn. You're right. That would be a neat
change. How do you know about this? Well fine, you can have that old
computer. We'll even run a network cable to your clubroom."

"Old computer? Can you edit videos on it?" Suzumiya asked.

"Don't be stupid. It doesn't have nearly enough RAM, and the CPU and
graphics card are a few generations behind, but it's good enough for web
browsing and word processing. You're the Literature Club, not the Film
Club."

"Give us your newest and most powerful computer."

"Why should we do that? We have to buy these with our own money."

"It's not a question of money. We have the girl who has already seen and
fixed the bug, that you haven't even written yet. We're offering you months
of your own time, straight out of the rabbit hole. What store are you
going to go buy that from?" Suzumiya put her hands on Nagato's shoulders
and gave her dreadful, mischievous smile.

"Okay, so what's that bug then?"

Nagato explained some sort of logic error in a file of some sort.

He looked at her in shock. "Yeah, that's the kind of mistake I'd make, and
yeah, I'd need a file like that. Okay, it's a deal, but you'll need to
type in the parts you saw, or will see, or how do you say this?"

Nagato nodded.

Suzumiya insisted on getting the computer desk and office chair also. For
Nagato's comfort while typing in their files, she explained.

As the Computer Club members started moving everything over, and wiring the
network, we returned to our clubroom.

"There, Sasaki, see? Time travel exists. Now we just need aliens, espers
and sliders, I guess."

"Suzumiya, the most logical explanation remains that the Computer Club
set this all up with Nagato beforehand. But I do appreciate the generosity
of whomever set this in motion. Having a computer will help with looking up
references for the Literature Club."

"Any old computer could do that. This one will allow us to edit my movie."

"What movie?"

"But I finally have something boring enough for you to do. Every great
movie requires a novelization. You just type in everything in my movie, and
then I'll edit it to be not boring. So, Nagato, how did you travel in
time?"

"I don't know. It was late December and I was out walking. I was thinking
about Kyon, and then suddenly I was back here in May and he was in my
apartment."

"Kyon, you're seeing both Nagato and Asakura? Sorry, it's your own life."
Sasaki turned away.

"No, no, it's nothing like that!" Nagato shook her head vigorously.

Suzumiya looked at me with narrowed eyes, then turned back to
Nagato. "Okay, so what am I going to say next?"

"I don't know."

"But, didn't you already live through this time?"

"Yes, but none of you were in this clubroom back then, I mean now. I was
the only member of the club all year. Nobody else joined."

"So, I could kill you right now, and it wouldn't cause a paradox?"

"No, I don't know?" Nagato turned to me with pleading eyes.

"Cut it out, Suzumiya." I almost reached over and slapped her. "Nagato's
your trump card, remember?"

"Nobody knows how to take a joke anymore." Suzumiya crossed her arms and
pouted.

"Nagato, do not tell anybody else that you are a time traveler. In fact,
none of you should mention this to anybody else. Whatever happened, it's
been quite a shock for her."

We all agreed to Sasaki's request, except for Suou, who never really did
much anyway.

Except of course for helping to save my life the previous day. And there
she was, sitting in silent passivity once again.

I took stock of Suzumiya's checklist. Nagato seemed to be a time traveler,
or perhaps a slider? Suou seemed alien enough. Did that mean that Asakura
must be an esper?  I kept my suspicions to myself.

Nagato seemed to have things well in hand with her Computer Club friends,
so I left with Sasaki.

Suzumiya followed us down the hill. "Give me a ride too!"

"I can't carry both of you on my bicycle, and you live in a different
direction than us."

"No, through time, Kyon. Let's go see the pyramids being built or meet
Genji Minamoto."

"Genji is a fictional character. Murasaki Shikibu may have existed."
Sasaki was as skeptical as usual, even towards historical controversies
that made no difference to me.

"That's what I meant."

"Suzumiya, I can't travel through time. Whatever happened to Nagato has
nothing to do with me."

"Hmph! I'll get to the bottom of this. Don't think you can get away with
this favoritism so easily, Kyon." Suzumiya pointed at me, then turned and
walked away.

"She may be right."

"What?"

"You are starting to seem a bit like Mr. Minamoto. So, Kyon, what is your
relationship with Miss Nagato? Not that it's really any of my business."

"Sasaki, I only went to Nagato's apartment because Asahina said she could
help us."

"Miss Asahina also? Are there any of the other girls in our club who
haven't show you their panties yet? Surely not Miss Suou?"

"I was paralyzed at the time. I couldn't close my eyes even if I'd wanted
to."

"But you didn't want to look away? Shall we tell Miss Suzumiya that have a
script for her movie then? It seems to be the tale of a modern Genji
Minamoto."

I sighed as we continued down the hill towards the train station.

On Friday we repeated the silent commute to school. Sasaki seemed to be
interpreting everything I said in the worst possible way, and I was
running out of words. Suddenly amazing, impossible things were happening
to me on a daily basis, and my close friend of almost a year was treating
it all as my fault. She was walking right next to me, but with every step
she seemed to be getting further away.

"Kyon!" Taniguchi ran and caught up with us. "What exactly is your
relationship with Asakura?"

"Yes, Sasaki mentioned something about you and Asakura." Suzumiya had been
waiting in ambush just out of sight, at the point where her path to school
intersected with ours. In addition to her bookbag, she carried a paper
bag.

I sighed.

"What did you mean, Sasaki?"

"It's none of my business." Sasaki looked away from Suzumiya.

"Asakura tried to kill me."

"Kyon, I didn't see much, but it looked like the reverse to me."

"The reverse of killing?" That idiot Taniguchi tried to make sense of
Sasaki's words. "Is that what her group is here to do? Why would she go
after you, Kyon, instead of one of these two?" He pointed at the two
girls.

"what are you talking about, Taniguchi?"

"Sorry. You're being such a bastard that's it making my head spin." He
gave me a solid punch in the gut and I fell over.

"Hit him again!" Suzumiya looked down at me with gritted teeth.

"I don't work for you." Taniguchi turned away and stormed up the hill.

Suzumiya walked after him at a more moderate pace, while Sasaki helped me
to my feet. She asked if I needed to go to the nurse's, but I said I just
had the wind knocked out of me.

When we got to the classroom, Suzumiya was sitting at her desk and looking
out the window. Taniguchi was talking to Asakura, but he stopped when she
shifted her focus over to me. She put on her standard lovely smile, but I
thought I could almost see the cracks in the paint.

At lunch Sasaki did not turn around. She simply ate at her own desk.

Kunikida pulled his chair up to my desk. "What happened between you and
Sasaki. Did I miss something at the club meeting yesterday?"

"Remember the promise, Kyon. Don't tell him here." At least Sasaki was
still paying attention.

"What?"

"Yeah, Kunikida, come to the club later. Apparently a miracle has
occurred."

"A miracle?"

"Perhaps something even more astounding than that. Suzumiya was finally
proven right."

Sasaki turned around for a moment, then returned to picking at her lunch.

"You're not falling for Suzumiya, are you, Kyon?"

"Kunikida, I could never compete with her favorite person." I replied in a
whisper as I nodded towards the door. The sudden tension in the air had
warned me of Suzumiya's reappearance in time.

Kunikida was almost beside himself on the way to the clubroom, but I
waited until the door was closed behind us before I spilled the
beans. "Well Kunikida, apparently Nagato is a time traveler."

"A time traveler? But, she's a - a time traveler?"

"Yeah, from the far distant time period of this next December."

"Ah, Miss Nagato, are you sure about this?"

"I thought I was crazy too, Mr. Kunikida, but it seems to be the facts."
She looked up from typing on the computer for a moment. Then it beeped and
she looked back down at the screen and started typing again.

"Your new fan club?" I asked.

"It's the Computer Club members. They all want to chat at the same time."

"Then go over there and talk to them in person."

"Is that okay?"

"I'll go with you."

"Don't worry, Kunikida. I'm sure that like most geeks, they're harmless to
girls."

"Who'll run the Literature Club meeting today?"

"I'll handle it."

"I appoint you vice-president, Kyon. If you don't mind?"

"That's fine. I look forwards to working with you." I bowed to Nagato.

"Uh... Me, too." She blushed, bowed back to me, then left with Kunikida.

A minute later Suzumiya arrived with the paper bag. She must have stored
it in her shoe locker during classes and had taken a side trip to pick it
up.

"Kyon's the vice-president."

"What?" Suzumiya turned to Sasaki. "I never agreed to that! Oh, you mean
the Literature Club. Yeah, whatever. Miruku, look what I've got for you."
She held up the paper bag.

I turned to Asahina. I hadn't noticed her sitting in the corner. She
looked like she wanted to just curl up and die.

"Come on." Suzumiya grabbed her hand and yanked her to her feet. "Get
undressed."

"What are you doing?" Sasaki asked.

"I brought her maid costume."

"Miss Asahina, you don't have to let her do this." Sasaki stood up.

"It doesn't matter." Asahina looked down at the floor. "Nothing does."

"See? She doesn't mind."

"I'm going to get some tea." I picked up my bookbag.

"I think I'll join you." Sasaki grabbed hers.

Suou floated along behind us to the cafeteria. I briefly considered
offering to buy her some tea, but thought better of it.

We sat in silence, sipping at our tea. I was pondering what I could say to
Sasaki when Asakura entered the cafeteria. I thought about running, but
figured that sitting between Sasaki and Suou was the safest place to be,
somehow.

Asakura addressed me by my actual name and said that the matter she had
brought up with me previously was on hold for the moment. Then she turned
around and walked away. That strange lovely smile never slipped from her
face.

"So it seems that you're down one girlfriend, Kyon. What does that leave
the count at now?"

"I don't have any girlfriends, sorry."

"Oh? Well Suou, What do you see in Kyon?"

Suou smiled at Sasaki for half a minute and then finally said. "Eyes
pretty." As usual, the voice sounded in my head and her lips never
moved.

Was she talking about me, Sasaki or perhaps Asakura? She said nothing
further so we all returned to the clubroom.

Suzumiya showed off her new maid, and said that she'd soon pick up a tea
service. She coached Asahina through the duties of a "clumsy maid" and
when Nagato returned, she said that the first brigade outing would be a
nine a.m. the next morning at the train station and that everybody should
be there.

"And what exactly would we be doing?" Sasaki asked.

"Scouting locations! You don't have to attend, Sasaki."

-HJC
Yes, the oh so nasty pair of mysterious transfer students are up next.
Gotta collect 'em all!