[FFML] [SHnY] The Coin - Chapter Two

[Michael Clark]

With a hurricane of references, altogether too much thought put into the
physics of Haruhi's powers, and some, er, questionable content...


The Coin
Chapter Two


I don't think I've ever wolfed down dinner that fast.

"Careful, my little spring kitten," Father chided me.  "Slow down or
you'll choke.  Honestly, it's like I have two daughters at this table."

You have one daughter, and she hasn't responded to "little spring
kitten" since she was five.

I raced upstairs, leaving the dishes undone.  I told Mother I'd do them
after, and she believed me.  She shouldn't have, but she did.  At the
time, I thought it had to do with whatever could make a fifty-yen coin
turn into a hundred--or whatever could instill a wood-snapping rage in
Prime Minister Kan and convince dozens of disillusioned old men to bring
a former leader back to power.  All this time, I'd been looking for the
extraordinary, and I'd found it!

"I'm an esper!"

I was in my room, the hundred-yen coin face-up and flat on my desk.  My
cell phone I placed beside it.  The speaker crackled.  The screen was
bright and glowing.

Come on, Kyon.  It shouldn't be taking you this long to answer.

"I thought you were reading my mind over the phone," he said.  "Isn't
that what espers do?"

I don't actually have control over it yet.  Weren't you listening?  I
just--I don't know, maybe I predicted something, so that's why I thought
Kan was suspicious?  Maybe I sensed what happened with these coins, and
that's why I knew to keep looking deeper?

"That... could be."

Huh?  What's with this lukewarm reaction?  We don't have to go out and
look for aliens and espers to play with!  The brigade can have fun with
me instead!

"JUST WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

Kyon, I'm sensing that you're upset.  Maybe you want a glass of milk?

He cleared his throat.  "Haruhi," he said calmly, "you're not an esper."

I'm not?

"No.  You are..."

I am...?

"You're..."

Come on, out with it!

"You made a lucky guess."

Bullshit!

"I'm serious," came the voice from the phone.  "Why would you think
you're an esper?  That makes no sense.  You're an esper who has the
ability to influence a politician?  That's it?  How could anyone call
themselves an esper if their power only works under suspiciously
specific circumstances?  It doesn't make any sense."

All that means is that I haven't figured out how to control it yet.

"Then allow me to make a prediction.  Suzumiya Haruhi, I see in your
future a sleepless night of trying to make the universe bend to your
mental will, but the universe, as devious a creature as there ever was,
will merely conjure quantum magic to do strange things like make a car
able to tunnel through a mountain.  You may think you're in control, but
you're not.  See?"

If a car could tunnel through a mountain like an electron does through a
potential barrier, that'd be super cool.

"That's not the point!"  He sighed, and I could tell he was rubbing his
forehead furiously, trying to think of what to say.  I didn't have to be
an esper to know that.  "Honestly, Haruhi, if I were you, I'd just get
some sleep.  You'll think better of things in the morning."

'Think better of things in the morning'?  What the hell is that?  You're
the one who encouraged me to keep going.

"I did no such thing."

You did; you totally did, unless I should think you stayed late for some
other reason.

"What other reason?"

I don't know.  Looked to me like you were thinking of asking me on a
date to take my mind off things.

"That's ridiculous."

I would've accepted.

"And dumped me within three minutes."

Maybe.

There was a silence on the other end of the line.  Why do people do
that?  They get distracted, or they're thinking.  Why should I believe
anything I hear when it takes so long to come up with?  People should
say what's on their minds right away.  That's what I always do.

"I thought it'd be bad luck," Kyon finally said.

To ask me on a date?

"To leave with the thought that we got close to something and missed.
But you know something?  If this had been a year ago and something you
thought was special or unique turned out to be simple instead, you'd
have been crushed."

Don't you think you're overstating things a bit?

"I'm not."

What are you saying, then?  That you just wanted to soften the blow, but
you knew I could take it?

Silence again.

"Yeah," he said.  "Something like that."

I pressed a button on my phone, and the white light went out.  You're
weird, Kyon.

More than that, I was tired of listening.  He was talking about backing
off, about shying away from the unknown.  As if any reasonable person
would ride a rocketship into space only to keep looking out the window
to make sure they could still see the sun or the earth.  It's crazy.
There's no other way to look at it.  There's something special inside
me, and I'm not going to pretend it isn't there.  All I needed to do was
find some way to bring it out.

Honestly, it makes a lot more sense than people would think.  If
everyone on Earth woke up tomorrow with special powers, they wouldn't
have any clue what to do or how to use them.  They probably wouldn't
even know they had powers at all--it'd be awfully convenient if they
did, at least.  I think it used to be in stories that no one gave that a
second thought.  Superman flies and sees through your clothes and stuff.
They never questioned how he learned to fly or if he crossed his eyes to
see x-rays or anything like that.  Nowadays it's the opposite.  Every
story is about trying to learn the ropes, but they take it too far.
Isn't it a little silly that there's _only_ one way to shoot web from
your wrists?  It's like the writers tried too hard to get it right and
made some things that should be easy to pick up way too hard.

Maybe they were right, though.  Here I am--I know I can do _something_,
but I don't even really know what.  Well, there's only one reasonable
thing to do in that case.  I burst from my room and scampered
downstairs, finding my father before the television, ignoring it as
usual.  He was reading from a newspaper instead.

"Chasing after a mouse, Kitten?" he asked, hardly looking up from the
headline.

Not quite.  I pointed to him and said the first thing that came to mind.

"_Flans Exclamatio!_"

He blinked.  "What does that mean?"

Well, in theory it's supposed to disarm you.  In practice, it usually
takes your clothes off.

"You were trying to take my clothes off?"

Yup!

"Kitten..."

Father?

"Truthfully, your mother and I are a little concerned of late."

When you say 'of late' like that, it makes me think you haven't been
paying attention to your daughter and how she's been raised for the last
five or six years.

"We always knew you were a little eccentric.  You've been better about
that lately; that's not what we're concerned about."

What then?

"Well, it's just not healthy to want to disrobe your father."

I was testing a magic spell!

"Don't misunderstand me, Kitten:  you've grown up very well.  You look
like the image of your mother when she was your age.  The resemblance is
really quite striking.  Even more so since you cut your hair--"

Father, we're not having this conversation.

"But your mother and I would be encouraged if you were interested more
in boys your own age.  Or girls.  We're prepared for that, too.  Or
various superpositions of boy and girl in the same--"

We're _not_ having this conversation!

"But Kitten--"

Stop calling me that!

Father sighed.  "All we're saying is that the club you made is only a
first step.  Your mother and I would like to see something more.  And by
_more_, I mean preferably a single person, not twenty boys all accepted
and dumped within the span of two weeks."

There were three girls mixed in there, too, and those are just the ones
who had the balls to ask me out.  Besides, isn't this a little
backwards--a father encouraging his daughter to find a boyfriend, I
mean?  You should be stalking all my male friends or something and
intimidating or bribing them to stay away.  Your behavior is totally
unrealistic, Father.

"Says the child who's trying to blow my clothes off with a Latin
incantation.  Doesn't that seem a bit silly?"

I guess.  I mean, why _do_ they always use Latin or ancient Greek or
Chinese?  It's like they always choose the most esoteric and mystical
old language and say that's the language of magic.  Why don't they use a
language of the future or something?

"You're thinking about this too hard," said Father.  "Go do the dishes."

How is it I can milk fifteen thousand yen from passers-by at the train
station and not get out of doing the dishes at home, anyway?

"That's just the way life is, Kitten."

I waved my hand in front of Father's face.  "This is not the daughter
you call _Kitten_," I said.

He waved back.  "That's not a film I haven't seen before."

Can't say I didn't try.  I went around the counter, into the kitchen
area, and found the stack of bowls, the soiled chopsticks, the spoons
with traces of broth left at the bottom.  I looked out the window above
the sink and drummed my fingers on the steel of the basin.  Father
wanted me to pursue normal things.  That's because he's a grounded
person.  He keeps in touch with the world.  He cleans his glasses three
times a day.  He leaves before dawn and reads the paper only when he
gets home.  Father's never treated me badly, but he only sees what's
close to him.  He sees from a meter away what a normal person could see
at six, and I'm not talking about characters on a chart.  I've always
tried to look farther.  Normal people look six meters ahead of them; I
try to look six hundred.

But looking that far won't clean these dishes.

I focused on the faucet handle.  My brow creased, and I stared at it.
It should move or something.  It should bend to my will.  What do I need
to do that?  Should I wear a helmet to protect myself from telepathic
interference?

It looked that way.  That faucet wasn't moving.  Hell, having to do
these dishes when I could be unlocking the secrets of the
universe--that's a real pain!  I banged my fist on the edge of the sink
and turned away, leaning against the counter.  Just let these dishes be
done.  Let the bowls be polished and sparkling.  Let the chopsticks be
spotless.  Just _be_ that way, so I can get back to looking, so I don't
lose that feeling I had--that scary, wonderful feeling--when Mother told
me what Kan did and I knew I had a hand in it, somehow.

"Those dishes won't do themselves," said Father.

That was so.  Father has a knack for stating the obvious truth.  I
turned back and put a hand on the faucet.

But something had changed.  From the running tap, water splashed on the
steel basin, but the dishes...

The dishes were gone.

No, that's not right, either.  They were beside the sink--the bowls were
separate, white, and dry.  The spoons were laid neatly, side-by-side,
and the chopsticks were lined up in pairs.

I made what I wanted real--not by chanting in Latin or waving a magic
wand.  What I wanted came out and changed the world when I wasn't
looking.

It was awesome, and I knew exactly what I'd do next.  I'd go upstairs
and practice.  I'd work on it until I mastered it, until I knew every
capability and every limit.  I stacked the bowls; I gathered the
chopsticks.  I put the dishes back in the cupboard and closed the door
gently.  Even Kyon would be excited about this.  Kyon and Koizumi-kun
and Mikuru-chan and--

And the quiet girl with expressionless eyes whose reflection I saw in
the kitchen window.

"Yuki?"

I watched her there; she stood behind me, unblinking, unmoving.

I spun on my heels.  "Yuki, how did you--"

She was gone.  The space behind me was occupied by only empty tile.

+++

I didn't think about that too much.  Yuki could be like that
sometimes--here one minute, gone the next.  That's not to say I thought
it typical for her to be in my house at night or that she could sneak
past my father without him noticing, but that was a question for another
time.  A girl must have her priorities.  I wasn't about to let my
abilities, my power, my _whatever_ be limited to those of a simple
dishwasher.

I shut myself in my room for the rest of the night, and I practiced.  I
practiced for hours.  It didn't even make me tired.  That's something
they get wrong:  people think that, if you're going to affect the world
with your mind, it must be exhausting.  It must demand tons of
concentration and willpower, like you're fighting against Nature
herself.  Maybe that's what's really going on, but it didn't feel that
way to me.  I made that hundred-yen coin spin in the air, floating
effortlessly a meter above the floor.  After a while, I didn't even have
to think about it or look at it to know it was still there.  I found it
was easier if I relaxed.  If I knew easily and clearly what I wanted to
be, it would be so.  I did my homework without even picking up a pen.
The ink appeared on a sheet of paper, as if a god wrote on it with his
own finger.  This is amazing, I tell you.  There's no other word for it.
All this time, we've been looking for special, and it's me!

Now people just had to see it for themselves.

I practiced through the darkness until the sun shone in the window, and
that was fine by me.  It always feels like, when you have to sleep and
wake up, that you're just losing time.  Life goes by, and that time
passes with your eyes shut and your mind empty.  If I could change that,
I would.  Maybe I could make it so I didn't have to sleep at all.

But I hadn't done anything like that yet.  Though I looked forward to
school that day, to showing the brigade and anyone else with an open
mind what I could do, I admit my footsteps were a little heavier than
usual.  I rubbed my eyes and shook off the shivers, but so what if it
were a little harder for me to walk.  The air was cool and pleasant,
even though by noon that might change.  The world was quiet and
ordinary.  Peaceful, perhaps, but still ordinary.  That would change,
and I'd be the one to do it.  What would change, you ask?  The people
who walk by a stalled car as the driver turns his key frantically,
unable to start it.  I guess on some level we're taught it's not our
business to interfere with other people's lives, but that's silly.
Anyone has the power to lend a phone to someone who needs it, but few
actually do.

The driver of the gray sedan turned the key once more, but the engine
struggled, whined, and stopped again.  He slammed his fist on the
dashboard and sat back, checking his watch.  He couldn't make the
pistons pump and the flywheel spin all by himself, but I could.  The key
turned; there was a hiccup of exhaust from the tailpipe, and the engine
hummed without a rumble.  The man finally took a breath, shifting into
gear and driving off, and my steps were a little lighter.  Just a
little, though.  My feet felt like lead by the time I got in the main
gate.  I changed my shoes and trudged to class, dragging my feet.
That's the problem with being human.  There are some instincts you can't
overcome.  I'd left wanting to show people what I'd discovered.
Instead, all I showed them was my head on the desk, snoozing away
through morning classes.

"You know..."  A finger poked me in the shoulder, stirring me to life.
"When I said you'd stay up all night messing around, I didn't think
you'd _actually_ do it."

I opened my eyes.  The blackness faded.  I shook off my fatigue, and I
saw clearly.  Our classmates were chatting away casually over boxed
lunches or flipping through textbooks frantically.  It was lunchtime.

"That's your problem, Kyon," I said.  "You're always saying things you
don't mean."

"I recognize the need for people to take the world a little less than
seriously at times."

I wiped my eyes for dust.  It's amazing how much better you feel after a
nap.  It really puts the energy back into you. Awake and alert, I was
ready.  Let the fun begin, I say.  Look out all you people, chowing down
and talking like it's the same as any other day.  It's not.  I'll show
you.

"Uh-oh, I know that look," said Kyon.  "When Haruhi grins, the world
trembles.  Let me use Mega Distraction then and hope it's
super-effective.  Here."

He slid a blue plastic tray across my desk, with a bowl of rice in one
corner, a plate of grilled salmon and vegetables in another, and a dish
of braised burdock root in-between.  So what's this, you bought me a
lunch and brought it back here so I could eat from the comfort of my
desk?

"Not me.  You have Koizumi to thank for that.  He passed by and was
concerned; that's all.  I'm just the delivery man."

These vegetables are half-eaten.

"Must've been lost in transit.  I had absolutely nothing to do with it."

Liar.  Koizumi-kun would be upset if he found out you ate part of his
gift to me.

Kyon shrugged.  "The most upset that guy gets is when I drop a pawn and
he can't stop me from promoting it on the next turn."

Uh-huh.  I picked at the rice, pulling the bowl away from him lest he
get any strange ideas.

"Well?" he began.  "I expect you stayed up all night trying to convert
the world population to brigade members with mind control or something."

I'm not an esper, if it pleases you to know that.  At least, not in the
traditional sense of the word.

"Seems to be a trend."

I'm something better.

He blinked.  "Better how?"

Watch now, Kyon.  Watch, and be amazed.

"Huh?  What are you going to--"

He stopped.  He stared.  His jaw hung open, for the blue plastic tray,
with my bowl of rice and fillet of salmon, floated off my desk.

"Haruhi, what is this?  Someone will see!"

I smiled.  "I bet they already have.  Do you know why?  It's because
when you have this kind of power you can't afford to think small.  Did
you really think I'd go for moving just the lunch try between us?"

He turned in his chair.  There was a murmur that spread through the
room.  From a bottle of milk, white droplets rose through the neck.
Textbooks fluttered open and flew gently toward the ceiling.  Some of
our classmates abandoned their chairs, for those who didn't lifted off
too.

"You see, everyone?" I called to them.  "The world is more extraordinary
than you think!  This is just the beginning, just one night's effort to
master something exceptional.  Look upon this sight, my friends, and be
amazed!"

"You're breaking the laws of physics!" cried Kyon.

"Because gravity is inconvenient.  Why shouldn't Einstein-san let us
turn it off every once in a while?  Isn't this a lot more fun?"

"You can't just turn it off for some things and leave it on for others!"

I don't think you can really tell me what I can't do when I'm doing
exactly that as we speak.

There was a clanking, a mess of noise.  Chalk and erasers hit metal
chair legs on the ceiling.  Schoolbags and notebooks pushed against the
removable panels.  One of our classmates climbed atop his desk, grasping
for a pencil that floated beyond his reach.

"Stop this, Haruhi," said Kyon.

"Stop it?  Why?  Isn't this great?  Like I said--this is just the start
of things.  Do you know what kind of weirdness will be attracted to us
once this gets out?  It'll be amazing!"

"This isn't a joke or petty resistance for the sake of being stubborn; I
mean it!  I don't want you to turn the world upside-down on a whim,
Haruhi!  Stop this!  I'm beginning you--no, I'm _telling_ you--this
needs to end!"

CRASH!  The chairs fell back to earth, rattling like a set of abused
tuning forks.  Boxed lunches overturned, spilling grains of rice as if
to celebrate a Western wedding.  Our classmates covered their heads or
ran for the hallway outside, looking for cover, but they were safe.

Safe to go back to their boring lives.

+++

I skipped class for the rest of the day.  I have no desire to hang out
with idiots who don't appreciate something spectacular right before
their eyes.  I saw it in how our classmates reacted.  They peered about
the wreckage and complained about broth soiling their bags, about grains
of rice in their papers.  So I might've overdone it.  I'd think that
could be forgiven, after seeing something no one imagined, but no!  All
they did was whisper and look at me.  There wasn't a smile on any of
their faces.  Not on the class rep's, not on that moron Taniguchi's, who
cried over some stupid stain on his bag.

And Kyon?  When it was all over, he wiped his brow and breathed easier.
"Thank goodness," he said.  "What were you thinking?  You could've hurt
someone right there!"

I didn't hurt anybody; they're all fine!

"That's not the point!  You're always bent on making a show of things.
Can't you keep this world-changing stuff to yourself?"

"What the hell?" I shouted back.  " 'Keep it to myself'?  What's that?
You'd have to be crazy not to be in awe over that!"

"It's not about awe or anything like that!  You can't rush headlong into
the rookery and hope everyone behind you can fend off the angry whelps
for themselves!"

At least I have the courage to charge in there at all, ready or not!

Guh.  Whatever.  It was a meaningless argument.  He had no business
challenging me like that.  I'm the brigade chief.  Stuff like this is
exactly what we do!

No matter.  Come club time that afternoon, the brigade would show what
it was really made of.  To make that happen, I went to the convenience
store down the hill and bought some supplies.  If I had the power to
change the world, that was just the beginning.  I could do it; the
others could, too.

"Is there some sort of activity at North High today?" asked the old man
at the register.  "You're not the first young lady I've seen out today."

Oh?  Who else would be--

"Look out!"

The cashier and I turned toward the commotion.  In an aisle of potato
chips and cereal boxes, a little girl--a clueless toddler--looked up.
The shelves were leaning, tilting, as if some unseen force were pushing
them over.  A jar of salsa fell to the floor and shattered, spilling
chunks of tomato on the tile.  A woman stood at the end of the aisle, in
a place of safety, and cupped her hands around her mouth again.

"Kaoru-chan!" she shouted.  "Come here!"

But the girl wouldn't move.  She watched as bags of barbecue- and
onion-flavored chips fell around her.  The whole steel frame tilted and
buckled.  The mother dashed into the aisle.  "Come along!" she cried.
"Come with Mama!"  Yet the girl, Kaoru-chan--she stayed put.  No matter
how her mother pulled and tugged on her, the girl's feet were rooted to
the floor.

"Get out of there!" yelled the clerk.  "Hurry!"

As if.  The mother, unable to move her child to safety, put her body in
harm's way instead.  She held the girl tight and put her back to the
teetering shelves.  She'd let herself be crushed first if it saved her
daughter.

Like I'd let anything of the kind happen.  The shelves emptied; they
showered mother and daughter in bags of snacks, but the metal fixture
came off the ground.  It floated.  Its top and bottom touched the
adjacent aisles, yet it hovered safely.  I kept it there.

The mother dug herself free of the pile of food.  "Come, Kaoru-chan!"
she said again.  "Won't you move?"

"I couldn't, Mama!"  The little girl kicked herself clear as well.  "Now
I can."

Mother and daughter ran to safety, and I lowered the fixture back into
place, crunching a box of cereal underneath.  The store rattled, the
weight of the metal shelves settling again, but as far as I could tell,
no one was hurt.

"I, ah..."  The cashier blinked, gaping.  "I guess we can offer you a
discount?"

"A discount?" echoed the mother.  "That was dangerous!  We could've been
killed!  How can you have such a shoddy piece of equipment here?"

"Hey, look, we've never had a problem with that fixture, all right?  I
don't know what happened right there or what that other high-school girl
saw, but it looked perfectly fine to me!"

Wait, the other girl--what did she see?

"She thought it was unstable," said the cashier, "like it could collapse
at any moment.  Said we should get it looked at.  I didn't think
anything of it at the time.  I guessed it was an innocent prank--she was
smiling the entire time--but I honestly didn't see anything wrong with
it.  I checked the bolts.  Everything should've been all right."

Maybe she did pull a prank on you and you just didn't notice.  What did
she look like?  Did she say anything specific?

"She was quite pretty, not unlike you.  She was a little taller.  Long
hair.  She was from North, too.  I could tell by the uniform.  I asked
her why she wasn't in school, and she said she'd just come back into
town from overseas."

Overseas?  From where?

The cashier shrugged.  "She didn't say.  Always had a smile on her face,
though."  He peered out the front windows, squinting.  "Say, that might
be her now.  See?"

I looked to the street.  Sure enough, there _was_ someone walking by,
but I caught only a fleeting glimpse.  Her light blue skirt, the hair
down to the middle of her back.  She passed the edge of the window,
walking out of sight.  I bolted through the door to follow.  Some
mysteries don't have to do with aliens.  There can be a perfectly good
one right in front of your nose.  Someone "noticing" a problem with the
shelves in a convenience store and then it coming to pass--that's not a
coincidence.  I've read enough stories to know that.  I looked down the
road to see where the girl'd gone.  I checked the nearby alleys, but
she'd vanished.  Disappeared, like a pile of dust to be blown away in
the wind.  She must've had help.  A police car and an ambulance came by.
The paramedics treated Kaoru-chan for some scratches while the officers
and some advisors asked us more about the mysterious girl and the case
of the falling shelves.  I told them I didn't think it was an attempt at
murder or anything like that, just a prank gone bad.  The officers
seemed to agree, but the dark-skinned teenager they brought with them
and the little boy with the bowtie didn't seem so sure.

"There's always someone dying around this kid," said the dark-skinned
boy, gesturing to his companion.  "It's a fact of life."

"Hattori," said the little boy.

"What?"

"Shut up."

I left that mystery to the authorities.  I paid my bill and took off
with my supplies on the uphill trek back to school.  Not knowing why
that convenience store fixture fell or who might be responsible, I still
felt sure of something:  people like me can't stand by and do nothing.
I saved someone with this power or whatever it was.  Imagine if everyone
could work that kind of magic how the mysteries of the world could be
made bare, how people would no longer trudge through their lives,
knowing there was something greater than themselves to have faith in.
If I hadn't been there, knowing what I could do, that little girl would
be dead.  I felt that way before I went to that shop down the hill; I
knew it to be true as I returned:  it should be more than just me with
this power.  Everyone should have it.  Everyone should be special.

With all the police commotion, I made it back to school right as the
final bells rang.  It was a quick walk to the club room, where I met
Yuki, who read by the window.

Yuki, who always looked the same, just as she did the night before,
standing behind me in my family's kitchen.

No, no, that was silly.  I shook it off.  "Afternoon!" I called into the
room.

She turned a page in her book, the green hardcover from the day before.
Her eyes moved to look at me, but her head only nodded slightly in
place.  Well, Yuki?  Did anyone else pop in yet?

"Not yet," she said.

That made sense.  I didn't have to come from class to get there.  I set
the bag of supplies down and sat at the head of the table.  What's this
book, Yuki?  I don't recognize the title.

"It is newly published," she said.

Oh?  What's it about?

"Temporal resonance."

I thought this was a work of fiction?

"It is.  The protagonists travel back in time, precipitating the
creation of their time-travel mechanism."

Isn't that a bit of a paradox?  A self-fulfilling prophecy?  A stable
time loop?

"It is a loop, but it is unstable.  Events are unlikely to unfold in
precisely the same way with each iteration."

Why's that?

"True occurrences are quantum-mechanical in nature.  Their outcomes are
randomly distributed.  If such events did not result in different
outcomes over subsequent loops, they would not be truly random, and the
universe would be deterministic.  Instead, the time between within each
loop is repeated with variations in the outcomes of events.  Each
iteration exists, and a full description of reality is a superposition
of each timeline until the loop is broken."

Broken?

"If there is but one possible chain of events that precludes a journey
back to the past and breaks the loop, then the loop will only be
traversed until that possibility is manifest."

I don't think I'd like that.  Then no matter how we think we affect
things, we don't really have any impact on the world.  If something is
really inevitable, then we're just putting it off until the time comes.

"Yes, but an entity could exist who distorts the distribution of
probabilities toward a desired outcome.  Such a being would have the
power to make some events truly impossible, to perpetuate a loop
infinitely, if she so wishes it."

And how would someone do that?

Yuki blinked, turning back to her book.  "It is not understood."

That's Yuki for you, I guess.  Once she starts going, it can be a little
tough to get her to stop.  And really, do you want her to?  If you shoot
her down while she's stringing a few sentences together, she might never
speak again.  She could be traumatized and have to speak to us with sign
language or something.

Thankfully, the doorknob to the club room turned, and it was Koizumi-kun
who came in with raised eyebrows.  "Oh!  Good afternoon, Suzumiya-san.
I didn't know if we should expect you today.  News of the incident in
2-5 has been the talk of the school ever since lunchtime."

Really?  What are they saying?  Does everyone know about it by now?  Do
they know it was me?

"Alas, a natural phenomenon was the rumor," he said.  "I believe it was
termed a gravitational anomaly."

Really now?  A gravitational anomaly?  What is this, some sort of trek
to the stars?  Don't anomalies stop being anomalies when you keep
running into them week after week?  It's not like Yuki is the robot at
the operations console.  It's not like Mikuru-chan is the empathic
counselor or Koizumi-kun is the smarmy, baby-faced lancer on my right.
You hear that, Koizumi-kun?  Maybe you should grow a beard.

"I fear I'd be grossly ill-equipped for the task," he said.  "In fact,
my family has great trouble with facial hair.  My father never could
quite grow enough, yet my mother--"

The doorknob turned again.  "Excuse me!" came the timid voice.  "Is
everyone--oh!  Suzumiya-san's here after all."

I am, Mikuru-chan, and you're late.

"Ah!  It's not--I mean, it was Kyon-kun!"

Kyon did what?

"I didn't do anything," said Kyon, walking in the door behind
Mikuru-chan.  "I just passed along a message.  Apparently Kunikida has a
thing for Tsuruya-san or something like that.  I passed it to
Asahina-san, who informed Tsuruya-san."

And?

"And what?"

What did Tsuruya-san have to say about that?

Kyon tensed up.  "Ah, she just, er, she said she would think about it,
right, Asahina-san?"

"Tsuruya-san seemed genuinely surprised," said Mikuru-chan.

Is that right.  Well, I guess I can excuse that for today, as long as
you're not trying to hide something from me instead.  Don't look at me
like I've got snakes for hair, Kyon.  First you and Yuki yesterday, now
you and Mikuru-chan today; you think I don't notice these things?

Kyon let out a breath.  "You're in a good mood after all."

Damn right I am!  I saved a kid this afternoon from a falling set of
shelves, and now, we're going to peer straight into the unknown!

"And how's that, exactly?" asked Kyon.

Well that's the easy part.  I've already bought what we needed, see?
Look in that plastic bag.

"Haruhi," he said, holding up the package, "plastic forks?  Plastic
knifes?  You want us to have dinner here?"

"If that is the case," said Koizumi-kun, "I'm afraid I have plans, much
as I would enjoy a fine meal with the brigade for company."

That's not what we're here for, boys.  We're going to explore the nature
of the universe.  There are no gravitational anomalies or whatever
around here.  I did that in class today, and there's no reason you all
can't, too!

Kyon stared.  "You want us to do what?"

Bend a piece of cutlery with your mind, each of you.

"Haruhi, they're _plastic_."

All the better!  Honestly, that's what was always wrong about
that--metal spoons?  Seriously?  Of course metal bends.  You can do that
with your own two hands.  Why would I want you to do something you can
do by yourself just by grabbing both ends and twisting really hard?

Koizumi-kun sat down, crossing his legs at the knee.  "You have a very
good point, Brigade Chief.  What would you have us do?"

That's the easy part.  Everyone take a fork or something and focus on
it, okay?  If I learned how to do this over the course of a day, all of
you can, too!

Kyon gawked.  "What kind of supermen do you think we are?"  He shot a
look at Yuki and Koizumi-kun.  "On second thought, don't answer that."

Just as well.  I spread out the disposable cutlery, and each of the
others took a few for themselves.  Now, I'm a realistic person.  I won't
say I had high expectations.  All I wanted to see--and I encouraged them
to think a little smaller at first, too--was maybe a bent prong on a
fork or a melting knife in someone's hand.  That has to be easy, right?

Right?

You really can't sigh while telling a story in text, can you.  Okay.
Let's just say I had to amend my expectations a little bit.
Mikuru-chan, may the gods bless her for her cuteness, but she had
absolutely the wrong idea.  She took a fork back and forth in front of
her face.  She crossed her eyes; she stuck out her tongue and moved the
fork until the tip of a prong touched her nose.  Startled, she jumped
back in her seat with an adorable (if disappointing) yelp.

Koizumi-kun, at least, had the right idea.  He put a knife on the table
and sat at an angle, staring intently at his target.  I was impressed
with his ability to look upon the knife without moving.  He maintained
his gaze for a good fifteen minutes, I'd say, until Kyon had the nerve
to bother him.

"Koizumi," he began, "why is it this knife of yours is on a direct line
between you and me?"

"Is it?" asked Koizumi-kun, unbreaking in his stare.  "I hadn't
noticed."

Kyon gently nudged the knife aside, but Koizumi-kun was a little slow to
follow.  Honestly, though, Kyon, you should be paying more attention to
your own task.  Building a house of forks isn't what I asked you to do!

"I'm keeping it stable with voodoo powers.  That was our assignment,
wasn't it?"

Uh-huh.  I tapped the leg of the table with my shoe, and the plastic
building came tumbling down.

"My dream house!"

Oh shut up.

My last hope was Yuki, for unlike the others, she had a unique tactic.
She took something different from the bag of cutlery.  When last I'd
watched her, she was waving the piece of plastic in a circle, but by the
time I was done with Kyon and his antics, Yuki was empty-handed, reading
her book again.

"Yuki," I said, "what happened?  Where did your spoon go?"

She looked at me, moving her bookmark and setting aside the hardcover.
She opened both hands, but they were bare.

"No spoon," she said.

Argh!  You guys are killing me here!  All you need is a little focus.

"Perhaps such knowledge will come with time," said Koizumi-kun.  "After
all, Suzumiya-san, you said when this ability manifested itself you had
no prior knowledge of it.  It was only realized after the fact.  The
experience may well be the same for us.  I know it is not in the
brigade's character, but patience seems the order of the day."

Patience?  Screw that crap!  Why should I be patient?  The power is
already here.  Let me show you.

I took a spoon from the bag.  I held it by the tip an arm's length away.
Just below the bowl, the handle softened.  The spoon began to melt and
twist.  The bowl curled around, making a loop.  It threaded the gap and
straightened.  It was a knot made of plastic, not string.  The plastic
hardened, and I flicked it with my fingernail.  It was as good as new.

"See, guys?" I said to the others.  "Isn't it amazing?  This has to be
just the start.  I, for one, will keep figuring out what I can do with
this power, and all of you should give it an honest go, too.  This'll
propel the SOS Brigade to the international stage, I tell you!  People
all over the world will want to understand the secret and join us, don't
you think?"

It was quiet.  Yuki was as still and silent as ever.  Mikuru-chan's eyes
went wide.  Koizumi-kun's ineffable smile gave way to a puzzled,
open-mouth stare.  Kyon frowned.  With an intense gaze, he looked past
all of us, through the window and into the courtyard, as if puzzling
over a math problem that had no solution.  Well, guys?  Are any of you
even paying attention?  Are you?

There was a low, vibrating sound.  Koizumi-kun took out his cell phone,
checking the face.  "Please excuse me.  I think we were planning the
brigade's global expansion, yes?  That should be an enjoyable exercise,
but I must be a moment."

He left, and it was Mikuru-chan who picked up on Koizumi-kun's lead.
"Will we have to go overseas?" she asked.  "I've not been out of Japan
since middle school..."

We stayed in the club room for some time after.  We planned an
advertising campaign:  an expansion of the brigade website, billboards
on every major street and flyers and even broadcast television time.
Even a simple video on the Internet could spread virally and give us a
massive boost in exposure.  It'd certainly be better than some lame
music video--I mean, really, if Thursday was the day before, if tomorrow
will be Saturday, there's only one day today can be!

But for all Koizumi-kun's ideas, Mikuru-chan's hesitations, Yuki's quiet
words, and Kyon's unhelpful rebuttals, I couldn't forget that one
moment.  With the knotted spoon in my hand when none of them could say
anything, even Yuki seemed unnaturally silent.  It was just for an
instant, and everything went back to normal just as quickly, but still,
I wonder--shouldn't Koizumi-kun have looked upon that spoon with
fascination?  Shouldn't Mikuru-chan have idly wondered how it could be
possible while Kyon vehemently insisted it couldn't be?  Shouldn't Yuki
have tilted her head a little bit, wondering how it happened even if she
couldn't say?  I saw surprise in them but no wonder, no awe.  How could
anyone look at that--a spoon made to knot itself--and not be amazed?

+++

When I headed home, it was still daylight.  Mother had gone grocery
shopping, so it was just me, in my room, with the one-hundred-yen coin
face-up on my desk.  I sat there, in silence, and leaned back, tilting
precariously.  On the brink of falling, one awakens from any dream, not
knowing how much time has passed in reality.  Maybe my life to this
point had been the dream, and now, with that magically-changed coin
before me, this was reality.

Or maybe it was just my whole first year in high school that had been
the dream.  I admit, when I came to North High, it wasn't what I thought
it would be.  The "weird" clubs, like paranormal research and so on,
were still utterly boring and conventional.  They were activities for
the sake of activities, to keep from making it look like you had nothing
else to do but go home and be antisocial.  Some of them had
promise--that I'll grant, but Kyon had the much better idea:  make your
own, so it can be what you want it to be.

The point is, any group is made of people, and you can't make people
into what you want them to be.  Or at least, that's mostly true.  If I
could make an exception, it probably shouldn't be used.  Not everyone
can be like me.  It'd be natural for people to look upon something new
and wild and be a little scared--or even jealous.  Even the kinds of
people I wanted for the brigade--fun, interesting people--could be a
little intimidated by all of that.  It wouldn't be a strange response.

It would just be typical.

Common.

It really sucked that we came out of the new term with no recruits from
the first-years.  Contrary to what Kyon might tell you, I didn't expect
we'd get dozens of eager little minions to play with.  Just a handful
would've been plenty.  The brigade is better small.  It's not like I
thought no one but that lone little girl would pass my tests, and even
she__wasn't who she said she was.  I wonder now--if I'd had this new
power then, if I'd made a big spectacle of things and promised even
more, we'd have enough people to fill the club room ten times over, I'm
sure.

But then, they'd have never paid their dues.  They'd never have searched
and thought and planned and kept looking for the extraordinary even when
it buried itself in the dirt.  That's why it's okay that there're only
the five of us still.  Or at least, that's what I'd thought.

Ah, to hell with it.  It's just one day--no, the first day of something
incredible, right?  I flipped the coin end over end, and with just a
simple glance, I watched it land edge-on, sticking there like a gymnast
coming off the balance beam.  I dare anyone else to even try that.
They'd be waiting for a very long time.  Come tomorrow, everything would
be right.  I knew exactly what to do:  make a big event of things in the
morning, right as everyone filed in for class.  I could make a giant SOS
Brigade sign in the clouds, perhaps, and have it change continuously, so
everyone would know it was nothing natural or man-made but made by me
instead!  I could make a stage, with Koizumi-kun to be the master of
ceremonies, Yuki taking video and photos, and Mikuru-chan on stage as
our official cheerleader.

What about Kyon, you say?  Eh, he can hold a pom-pom, too.  I'm sure
he'd spend most of his time watching Mikuru-chan as she bounced up and
down and jumped, too.  Well, who could blame him?  Anyone would be
tempted, just looking at her.

Anyone would.

For times like these, I'm thankful I'm an only child.  I have a room to
myself.  I have privacy, even more so when Mother is out.  I'd puzzled
over things too much.  I was tired mentally, but my body was keenly
awake.  It's times like those you can't ignore what your body wants from
you.  Without the mind to distract it, a person's body is no better than
an animal's.  We eat when our bodies are hungry.  We sleep when they're
tired, but that isn't all.  Thinking of Mikuru-chan and how she'd jump
around waving two bright yellow pom-poms the next morning, how the color
would come into her cheeks from our schoolmates' stares--

I don't need to spell it out for you, do I?  It's not like I skip meals
or forget to sleep--okay, today doesn't count.  I'm a healthy girl,
after all.  When we're distracted, it's because our bodies have their
urges.  Sometimes, you have to get those feelings out of the way.
Today's no exception.

But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it.  I mean, you'd have to be a fool
not to.  It's not like I haven't seen all of Mikuru-chan, from the top
of her pretty little head to the tips of her dainty toes.  Mmm, I feel
jealous of any man she'd set her eyes on.  I can only imagine she'd be
clumsy and shy at first, with no tolerance for unusual sensations, but
with time, that would change.  If she put her mind to it, as she did
with her maid duties and tea brewing, she'd completely devote herself to
it.  She'd make herself the perfect partner.  Just think of how she'd
blush, how she'd squeal!  I know those sounds from her well.  Don't
worry, Mikuru-chan.  It's all right.  Just stay as you are forever.
Don't let any dirty boys touch you--not the gawkers who follow you from
your year, not Koizumi-kun (though I know he'd never dare), but
_especially_ not--

Oh damn.  I'm not supposed to think of him right now.  I'm not supposed
to think of him right now!  It's a coincidence is all!  It's just
happenstance.  He just reminds me of that other boy--the boy whose face
I can't remember.  Maybe I never really saw it at all, on that warm,
starry night four years ago.  "John Smith."  Really, what a pathetic
alias!  But I guess it proved effective.  It stuck with me.  When I was
still in middle school, I'd go by North High every once in a while,
looking for him.  I'd peer through the fences, and wonder if one of the
boys playing soccer were him or if I should sneak onto the grounds and
look through the classrooms until I found him for sure, but I never did.
Instead, I'd meet him in my dreams instead.  It's okay to think about
him at a time like this.  It wouldn't be the first time, but
Kyon--Kyon's the opposite of him.  That Kyon reminds me of John is just
a coincidence.  He'd never be caught painting alien lines on the ground.
That sometimes, when he spoke, it sounded like he could admit aliens,
espers, and time-travelers were everywhere, just as John did...

Coincidence, I tell you.  It didn't mean anything.  If I took an elastic
band from my desk and tied my hair into a short ponytail, that wouldn't
mean anything, either.  It's not me.  It's just my body.  It's like an
electron and a positron, careening toward each other in an accelerator.
It's an elementary dance.  They could miss each other completely and go
on their merry ways, but that'd be dull.  No one wants to see that.
Scientists and choreographers alike want to see them rush headlong
toward each other's embrace.  Coulomb's pull makes them hurry.  As they
accelerate, they give off energy, radiating light and heat into space,
but that's not the most exciting part.  They can't touch without
annihilating each other.  Their first point of contact is their last,
and the evidence of their union is seen in tracks of bubbles and
shooting jets.  It's explosive.  It's powerful.  I wonder, if you could
be an electron, would it feel good?  Merging with your opposite, making
something impossible that can only be seen by those who look for it?
Because that's what Kyon and I are, you know.  Opposite in every way,
yet he wouldn't have hung around this long unless he had a reason to.
So what is it?  Mikuru-chan's sake?

Or is it because, like the positron wants to be canceled out, Kyon wants
to give up being grounded and dream like other people do?  Is it a rush,
just to feel like you're on the brink of something amazing?  Do the
scientists in France and Switzerland feel their hearts pound when a pair
of particles destroy each other in a firework-like spectacle?  If they
do, I think I know the feeling.  Melt away the smart remarks, the dogged
resistance toward anything fun, and what do you have left?  Maybe
nothing--that's a possibility I have to admit--but maybe, instead, you
have a boy who's every bit as unusual and interesting as I am.  An
electron and a positron mirror each other, after all.  It's not like he
isn't fit.  So what's wrong, you ask?  Maybe nothing, but maybe I'm the
electron, and I feel myself being pulled in inevitably, falling faster
and faster, waiting for the explosion I know will come.  Faster and
faster, I see things that never happened--walking with him on the
school's athletic ground under an opaque sky.  I've lived that kiss a
thousand times over, never understanding where it came from or why, but
at times like these, I don't care.  The feeling is enough.  The memory
is enough.  I leaned back in my chair, on the verge of falling.  It took
all my concentration to keep from tumbling down.  That way, I don't
think beyond my own breathing.  I sit on the cusp, like an electron in
orbit about its positively-charged opposite, but it's not stable.
Eventually, you fly away, unsatisfied, or you fall--

THUD!

I tumbled all right.  My chair tipped over, and I fell backward and
rolled, sprawling on the floor.  What the hell was that?  That sound--it
was the door to my room getting beaten inward by some ridiculous force.
Thank God the lock is good, but who could've--I mean, Mother couldn't be
back yet.  Honestly, damn that infernal noise!  Couldn't you have waited
just another half a minute?  I wasn't finished!

"Hello?"  There was a voice outside.  "Is someone in there?"  There were
two light taps, a knocking sound.  "I seem to be lost in your house.  I
know that's a bit hard to believe, but--"

The voice stopped.  Now, I can only imagine what that made that person
outside hesitate.  He might've realized how silly it was--as if he could
take a golden rod and will himself into someone's house or, say, to
Moscow before he even had time to get dinner.  That's probably not what
happened, though.  I know this because I already had a feeling I knew
whose voice it was, and if he had any wits about him, he'd have already
seen something really critical to understanding where he was:

The picture frame outside my room, with Mother, Father, and me outside
Koshien five years ago.

"Haruhi?" he said.  "Is that you in there?"

I, um, _adjusted_ my clothes a little bit and straightened my hair.  A
brigade chief should never look unprepared.  I undid the lock and said
the only thing that seemed appropriate.

"How many times is it I've found you sneaking into my room now?"

It was Kyon all right, just as I thought.  He was still in uniform, too,
albeit loosely, with his shirt untucked and his necktie partway undone.
He wriggled his toes like a bored child drums their fingers on a table.
He scratched his temple and squinted.  "You know," he said, "I'm not
exactly inside your room this time."

"Two centimeters outside my threshold is no different."

He looked around, shrugging.  "I guess not."

You've got a way with words when you're sneaking around.  "Well?" I
said.  "What are you doing here?  You have a present?"

"Present?"

I pointed to the desk.  Past the papers and the face-up coin, there was
a small, rectangular box with a ribbon tied overtop.

"It can't be," he said.  "You couldn't have _not_ opened it."

"Of course it's open, Kyon.  It's just reassembled.  Packages are
important, too.  Like I'd want to forget that night by demoting it's
fruit to a common object."

"Is that right."  He leaned forward a bit, studying me.  "Are you
flushed, Haruhi?"

"You're imagining things.  And stop changing the subject!  What are you
doing here?"

"I was at home, just back from the club room, when suddenly I found
myself--"  He stopped.  He looked past me, at the upended chair.  "Found
myself in a den of... , um--"

"Spit it out," I said.  "People don't just blink out of existence in one
place and reappear in another.  You'll have to do better than that."

He winced.  "You're right, of course.  Sorry.  Believe it or not, the
truth is..."

"The truth is?"

"I was in the neighborhood, minding my own business, admiring the
flowers and the beauty of early summer--"

"Get to the point, Kyon!"

"I lost my shoes."

"You did what?  Wait, how?"

He made a face.  "Do I really have to answer that?  Do you really _want_
me to answer that?"

Guess not.  "So?  What does that have to do with sneaking into my
house?"

"I was, um, wondering if I could borrow a pair of shoes to go home
with?"

"I don't think mine will fit."

"Ah, that's true, um..."

"But Father's might," I said, barging past him into the hall.  "Come
on."

"You're a livesaver, Haruhi."

Don't thank me yet, Kyon.  I know you're not being straight with me.  A
brigade leader always knows.  What are you planning, hm?  Did you swing
by just to offer some more double-sided advice?  To apologize for being
so negative earlier?  Those would be reasonable answers.  I'd accept
either.

"Like I said, I was just in the neighborhood."

Liar.

I gave him a pair of my father's brown loafers.  Father doesn't wear
them anymore.  They were his favorites, and because they were his
favorites, he wore them out but can't stand to get rid of them.  So he
keeps them in a shoebox in the closet, collecting dust.  I should think
he'd be happy to see them get use again.

"Thanks, Haruhi," said Kyon, standing at the threshold to our door.  "I
know this is a favor.  I won't forget."

I know you won't because I'm going with you.  I put on my shoes and
closed the main door behind us.

"But why?" he asked.

So I can bring Father's shoes back when you're done with them.  Why
else?

"Fair enough," he said, and for a while, as we walked from my house to
his, we didn't say anything else.  That's how Kyon is, you know.  If you
leave him be, he won't rock the boat.  He's steady.  He's constant.
Like I've said, there's a need for that, but how do you pass by a set of
carnations in bloom and not even look at them?  How do you look at a
disc-shaped cloud in the sky and not wonder if it's a UFO instead?

"I'm not looking for aliens," he said.  "I know they must be out there.
As for the flowers, I did notice them.  That's a good shade of pink for
this time of year."

You're missing the point, Kyon.  I'm talking about finding the best
parts of the world around us and exploring them.  That's what we do in
the brigade, isn't it?

"Yeah, I guess we do."

So tell me something, then.  Your resistance I expect.  It doesn't
surprise me anymore--that you tend to be narrow-minded, I mean.

"I'm... glad?"

But even you could've shown some enthusiasm.  I mean, I have the power
to--you know, I don't even have any idea what all I can do.  Doesn't
that count for something?

"It _is_ incredible," he said.  "That I won't deny."

Can you say that again like you mean it?

We stopped at a street corner, and instead of crossing with the other
pedestrians, Kyon stopped at the edge of the sidewalk, leaning against a
pole.  "Can I tell you a story?"

Should I find a stuffed animal and cuddle up in my pajamas?

"Cute.  No, this is a simple story.  My friend's story, I should say--a
friend from middle school.  He prided himself on being above foolish
notions like believing in Santa or looking for aliens."

Sounds like a boring person.

Kyon made a face.  "Never mind that.  Anyway, he got mixed up with a
girl, a very strange girl.  You'd be proud of her.  She got him involved
in looking for sliders, let's say.  He went along with it, thinking the
whole time he didn't want to be--"

So who would get roped into something like that against their will?

"Let's say she was a friend of his family, and it might've been
undiplomatic to refuse her.  The consequences would've ended his world,
to so speak."

Well that's lame.  Nobody should hang out with someone else because
they're forced to.  And why do you keep talking like "let's say this" or
"let's say that"?  Is that what happened or not?

"It is; it is.  I'm just trying to change some details to protect his
innocence.  Anyway, one cold day in December, he woke up, and that girl
he knew was gone.  Transferred out of school by agreement of her parents
and his.  No one at that school missed her, and for a few days, he
panicked.  He tried everything he could to find her, to figure out where
she'd gone.  Eventually, he did, though, and he had to accept in himself
that he liked having her around, that he didn't mind looking for
sliders.  He did what he had to do to get her transferred back, and not
once, he told me, did he regret it."

And?

"And what?"

Where are they now?

"In high school together.  I don't remember where."

I mean, he got her to come back.  He must've liked her.

"They're not dating, if that's what you mean."

I thought you said you didn't remember where they went to school.

"Some things you just know without seeing.  All I'm trying to say,
Haruhi, is that I learned a lesson from that guy."

And what lesson is that?

"Hope never to see a slider."

You're hopeless.

"Sorry.  I guess what I'm really trying to say is this:  don't confuse
my inherent coolness with not wanting to find those extraordinary things
you're always talking about.  You and I just have different ways of
going about it."

Uh-huh.  I guess we really don't see eye-to-eye, especially if you think
of yourself as cool.

"Very clever that."  He pulled himself off the pole and took one step
toward the street.

WHOOSH!

But a speeding two-door blew by him, ruffling his pant leg.  Wisely, he
put his foot down, staying on the sidewalk.  "That's what I get for
telling a story, huh?  This light takes forever, too."

Says who?

Horned blared.  Brakes screeched.  The light for the cross-street turned
yellow.  I guess no one expected that.

"Haruhi?" Kyon began.

What?

"Did you do that?"

Maybe.  Honestly, do _you_ remember when the signal changed?

The light turned red, and Kyon and I crossed before a group of
unsuspecting drivers.  "All right," he said, "I'll admit that was pretty
handy."

Handy, you say?  It's nothing.  It's trivial.  Did you think I was
blowing smoke when we were talking about those plans this afternoon?
This is big stuff, Kyon.  We're going to change the world, you and me
and the rest of the brigade.

"Always thinking big, aren't you."

Of course I am.  But what I don't want to see is for you and everyone
else to go along with it because you feel like you have to, like that
boy in your story did.

"That wouldn't happen anymore."

No?  Why not?

"Because."  He shoved his hands in his pockets as we made it to the far
side of the street.  "A brigade chief's wrath is harrowing enough, make
no mistake, but in the end, I don't think anyone is seriously afraid
you'll bring an end to the world or anything like that."

I'm not so intimidating anymore, you mean?

"The brigade trusts you.  Koizumi, for sure.  He's told me so.
Asahina-san, too, I think.  Nagato?  Sometimes I can't read her, but I
imagine she does."

You're doing that again--talking about others and not including
yourself.

"You've got the power to do who-knows-what.  Maybe it's as little as
changing a traffic signal to be convenient.  Maybe it's as much as
making everyone in this world an esper, a time-traveler, or the humanoid
construct of an alien race.  I don't think anyone knows for sure."

Hmph.  You're talking about me like I'm some sort of god.

"You think big enough to be one."

You know, I actually like the sound of that.  Good idea, Kyon.  With me
as supreme deity, we'll establish a high church in my name.  The SOS
Brigade can be like the Jesuits or something.  Koizumi-kun will be the
High Priest of Suzumiyaism.

Kyon gawked.  What's that reaction?  You don't think it's a good idea?

"_Suzumiyaism_ doesn't have the right ring to it," he said.

No?  We'll have to think of another name for it, then.

"I didn't expect you to take it seriously!"

You should know better than to give me an idea and expect me not to take
it seriously.

"Point conceded."

It was getting late.  The shadows were growing long, and as we rounded
the slopes of the hill, Kyon's house made itself visible about a hundred
meters down the road.  That could be the first thing I do, Kyon:  level
off this whole god-forsaken route so people don't have heart attacks
traversing it every morning.

"I'd never ask you to do that."

Of course you wouldn't.  That doesn't mean I can't think about obliging.
Now let me see, what kind of powers would that need?

"I'm serious, Haruhi," he said.  "I wouldn't want you to turn the world
upside-down just for fun."

It's not just for fun; weren't you listening?  I bet a half-dozen people
die every year walking this hill.

"Well, as long as it's for that sort of reason, I don't think I'd mind.
I'm just trying to get it through to you, since sometimes you listen
only to what you want to hear:  you actually have the power to change
the world now.  How much or how little isn't important.  You have it,
and it's done.  I think you already understand that some measure of
responsibility comes with that.  You're more than a brigade chief now."

I know that.  Honestly, now it's my turn to say you talk too seriously,
Kyon.  It's not like I'm moving continents or bringing comets from the
sky down to Earth without some consideration for what else would happen.
Give me some credit.  I could've gone on television and done something
incredibly public just to rub it in people's faces, but I didn't.

"I thought that's what the whole last half of the brigade meeting was
about."

Forget that!  That was dreaming.  That was fun.  And I won't rule all of
that out, but I'm not so impatient or reckless to play willy-nilly with
stuff I don't understand.  Not yet!

"I know that."

We stopped before the walk to Kyon's house.  He slipped off my father's
shoes and pushed them toward me with his foot.

"I know I dodged this earlier," he began, "but let me say this now:
it's not just the others who trust in you, Haruhi.  When I met you a
year ago, I thought you were reckless and sociopathic--"

Way to be gentle, Kyon.

"But that's not who you are anymore.  We've all noticed it.  You get
along with people you would've thought boring or unimportant.  You're
considerate, albeit in your own roundabout and convoluted way.  You're a
different person now, someone I'm proud to call my brigade chief.  I
know you won't remake the world on a whim.  I have absolute faith and
confidence in that."  He smiled.   "In you, that is."

What?

What is this?  What are you saying?  Where did this rush of feeling come
from?  What are you trying to make me do?  And stop smiling like that!
That's too much, I tell you, too much!  You have to dial that down at
least fifty percent!  Honestly, saying you have complete trust in me
when you're a boy and I'm a girl isn't right!  Kyon, why would you say
that?

Unless...

"What's this?" he started up again, grinning.  "No self-assured remark
about how a brigade chief should always be trusted or something?  You've
changed more than I thought."

"Kyon," I said, stepping closer, "why do you trust me that much?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

"That doesn't mean I understand."  He crossed his arms, cupping his chin
in his hand, pondering.  "If you weren't trustworthy at heart, I'd have
left in a second.  Yes, that's it."  He nodded, assuring himself.  "I'm
counting on you, Haruhi, to prove that trust is well-placed.  That's how
it works, right?  What people do with power proves the kind of person
they are?"

I won't let you down, Kyon.  I promise.

He smiled again, patting me on the shoulder.  Honestly, what am I to
you, Kyon, your cat?  But I let it go.  It was a gentle gesture.  It was
warm.

"I know you'll be just fine," he said.

Will I be?

It's not been the greatest day.  It should've been, realizing something
incredible, only for people not to appreciate what that meant.  At
least, that's hot it felt.  But standing there, with Kyon's thumb on my
shoulder, it was like all that confidence and faith flowed into me.  We
had an understanding, he and I, and I never knew it before that moment.
If he could follow me because he knew I'd make everything turn out all
right, then what else could a brigade chief ask for?  What else could a
girl ask for?

Not much, really.  Just a gift, from one seeker of the universe's
mysteries to another.  Something to affirm that we're not alone after
all, not in our hearts.  I leaned forward.  I clutched his necktie and
pulled.

"Whoa, Haruhi, no."  He caught my hand.  He pushed on my shoulder.  We
stumbled apart.  He tripped over Father's loafers, slamming his ass on
the concrete.

"Kyon-kun!"  A girl bolted through the front door, running to him along
the path.  "Kyon-kun, what happened?" asked his little sister.  "One
minute you were in your room, and the next you'd gone!  Mother says
you'll be in big trouble for this!"

"It's not my fault," he said crankily, climbing to his feet.  "It's not
my fault Scotty decided to play a game with me and dump me across town."

So all this was just an inconvenience for you, huh, Kyon?

He cringed.  "Oi, Haruhi, it's not--I mean, I guess I shouldn't have--"

If that were it, I'd have stuck around.  Maybe I'd have even listened to
him, but something else caught my eye.  It was his sister, cute and
adorable as ever.  She had a pair of objects in her hands.

She had his shoes.

So I took Father's shoes and left.  Even if I could've beamed myself
back home in a heartbeat (and maybe I can, who knows?), I would've
walked the whole way three times over to get that bastard's touch out of
my head.

+++

All this talk about trust and responsibility--you were just trying to
keep me bottled up in a nice, easy package.  Something that wouldn't
change the world and make it unrecognizable.  Well, Kyon?  Let's see
what you think now.

The next morning, I made it storm.  I made it rain.  I made it rain in a
cloudless sky.  See the impossible, people of Japan.  It's just the
beginning of something even more amazing.

But no one I saw on my way to school that day really appreciated the
impossibility of it.  They trudged along under their umbrellas, glancing
at the sun with puzzled gazes, but then, the topic would pass.  They'd
go chatting again about exams or homework.  Talk of something that'd
never happened before lasted maybe, between two school-age girls, no
more than ten seconds.  I walked by them without an umbrella, deflecting
the raindrops with my mind, and that merited hardly a word either.

I guess they saw Yuki in the distance, too.  She was alone, without a
coat or an umbrella to protect her.  She stared unflinchingly, and I
paid her no mind.

"Hey, you, Suzumiya!"

As I came through the gate, a voice called to me.  It was that idiot
Taniguchi, getting drenched in a dark green raincoat.  His and Kyon's
friend Kunikida trailed behind.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you, Suzumiya," said Taniguchi.  "You're the only
person weird enough to know anything about this."

"Stop," said Kunikida, whispering to him.  "You're making a scene."

"I don't care!  This is weird stuff, and it isn't right!  Look at her,
Kunikida!  She's standing plain as day in the rain, and there's not a
thread on her uniform that's wet.  Rain that comes from nowhere, that
ruckus in class--I lost a good bag to that stunt, you know!  It's
ruined!  Stained because you upended a bowl of soup all over it.  That
was _you_, Suzumiya, wasn't it?"

"Aren't you taking this a little too seriously?" asked Kunikida.

"I'm not!  Suzumiya, you've always been a little strange, but this is
too far!"

"Hey!"  Trotting up to us was Kyon, who positioned himself between
Taniguchi and me.  "What's the meaning of this?  What are you doing,
Taniguchi?"

"Trying to get some justice for my poor bag!"

"Are you deliberately being idiotic today?" asked Kyon.

"Come on, you've known all this time she was further out there than
Alpha Centauri!  The kind of person who does this?"  He pointed to the
sky.  "They don't want to live in the real world.  They're so out of
touch with reality they're not even living on the same planet as we are.
Isn't that right, Suzumiya?"

Kyon shook, shooting him an intense glare.  "Taniguchi, I'm sorry for
your bag or whatever trivial thing that incited this nonsense, but if
you know what's good for you, shut the hell up before I punch you in the
face."

That's nice of you, Kyon.  Really, it is.  Keep arguing with Taniguchi
if you like.  I'd be just fine to stop hearing his voice.  He's just
like all the other people I passed this morning.  He's just like you,
even if you don't think so.  He doesn't want to see the world changed.
He cares more about petty things than looking beyond the scope of the
next hour, the next day, the next ten thousand years.  Be as you are, I
guess, but I won't let you tell me I can't do something impossible.  If
you keep saying those things, I'll make you shut up.

"I don't know why you're coming to her defense!" shouted Taniguchi.
"She's completely strange, and everyone knows it!"

"Why I'm standing by Haruhi is none of your damn business!"

"But look what she's doing!  She's a freak!"

"You have no right to call her anything of the kind!  Didn't you try to
date her?  And she dumped you in five minutes flat?"

"That's how I learned she was a freak!  You must know it too, or else
you would've tried to get with her by now!"

"That's not true at all!"

"No?"  Taniguchi raised an eyebrow.  "What is it, then?  You did hook
up?  You kissed her, and her tongue put alien embryos down your throat?"

Kyon's eyes widened.  He raised his fist, and this time, it wasn't
Koizumi-kun who stopped him, nor was it I whom he targeted.  Kunikida
stepped in and caught his arm.  They struggled, but Taniguchi didn't
back away.  A bold and arrogant idiot.  I've had enough of you,
Taniguchi.  I've had enough of you, and people like you!

"Let me go, Kunikida!"

"I won't!"

They struggled, and Kyon's umbrella tumbled to the sidewalk.

That was when the rain stopped.  One minute, a shower, the next,
nothing.

"Well!"  Taniguchi looked up, pulling back the hood of his coat.  "It's
about time you came to your senses, Suzumiya.  A beautiful day shouldn't
be rain--"

CRACK!

The sound was sharp, deafening.  I covered my ears.  The other students
outside dropped to a crouch or ran for shelter.

And Taniguchi stood there, ignorant and oblivious.  His collar
smoldered.  Scorch marks marred the sidewalk.  He touched his cheek.
"It's..."  He made a face.  "It's hot."

The heavens opened up again, and Taniguchi collapsed.  He lay there, at
the gate to our school, as the showers drenched him on a cloudless day.