[FFML] [Ranma/Various] Avenging Act 4 chapter 3

[DB Sommer]

On 4/28/2011 3:44 PM, Bert Miller wrote:
> Grabbing a moment between meetings...

% Cool. The nice thing about smaller chapters is that it doesn't take 
long to C+C them

>
> On 4/27/2011 1:58 PM, DB Sommer wrote:
>> chapter' category. The main character in this one you'll want to 
>> remember is the one responsible for everything]
>
> That would be the gentleman in the black Klan outfit...

% Purple, and yes indeedy

>
>>
>> "Oh." That could be... bad. Left alone with him, Nabiki might not be 
>> able to keep her hands off him.
>
> Prescient of Ranma...

% Heh. Too true

>
>> Like all the Tendou girls, she had expressed more than a casual 
>> interest in him. Well, they kept it to themselves pretty well, but he 
>> could sense it.
>
> (drily)  ... Right...

% They are attracted to him, but still more interested in foisting him 
off on one another


>
>> Academy. So nice to see you. I would have given you backstage passes 
>> if I had known you were coming. Well, I guess with a mutant pheromone 
>> wouldn't need one." He stared knowingly at Narumi.
>
> last phrase of the quoted speech seems to be missing a subject:  
> ...mutant pheromone you wouldn't need one..

% Got it

>
>> "Yes, it does," Alison said, a bit miffed at the sarcasm. "You'd be 
>> surprised at the number of connections we've established among the 
>> elite and powers that be with careful selection of Alice abilities 
>> working in concert with their goals. And the term Alice is being used 
>> with increasing frequency. True integration has begun."
>>
>> Reo suddenly gained a shifty gleam to his eyes. "You know, you have 
>> quite the singing voice. Perhaps we should form a duet."
>>
>> Alison found herself starting to nod just as a Narumi said, "Enough. 
>> Don't think of using your voice manipulation Alice on us, or you'll 
>> be sorry." The warning shook Alison out of her stupor. Now she glared 
>> evilly at Reo.
>
> I haven't seen "Gakuen Alice" or read the manga, but you seem to be 
> using the word a little differently than how the work "mutant" is 
> used.  I'd have expected "..using your voice manipulation Alice 
> ability on us.." above.  Two paragraphs above that, you used "Alice" 
> as an adjective, applied to "abilities".

% As I recall it was used as a verb. Everyone had an Alice rather than 
Alice ability. Will try to make it more consistant.

>
>> "--That will sell millions while my Alice will net me tens of 
>> millions," Reo completed. "It's part of my natural abilities, I'll be 
>> damned if I don't use them as so many of our fellow mutants do," he 
>> emphasized the words.
>>
>> "You'll give the Alice community a bad name," Narumi warned.
>
> Just above, "Alice" is again an adjective, while above that it's a 
> noun with a meaning "power", apparently.
>
>> The door flew open. Standing in the doorway was a large man. He wore 
>> a purple conical mask and matching tabard with an 'H' on it. Thick 
>> arms and legs jutted out from the tabard, encased in chain mail, 
>> while bulky leather boots and gloves completed the outfit. The only 
>> part of his body that was visible were crimson eyes through slits in 
>> the mask.
>
> I have only a vague memory of this Marvel character, but the 
> description seems to match my memory.  You must not be taking many 
> liberties with the character.

% Not on the garment, not

>
>> Ranma shifted his weight in mid-air, his shirt tearing as he pulled 
>> free from her grasp.
>
> Heh.  Oops.

% I see you picked up on that right away

>
>
>> Again she attacked him, forcing him on the defensive, as she 
>> continued her mantra of three words, repeating them in the same order 
>> again and again as she attacked.
>>
>> Finally he tagged her with a powerful left to the jaw.
>
> It seems to me that Ranma ought to be trying to hit her solar plexus 
> or something which definitely wouldn't kill her.  Captain American 
> throwing a full power punch to any non-super woman's jaw would risk 
> serious injury, surely.

% Hard to say with Cap. We'll assume Nabby can take it in this universe, 
though

>
>> Out at the edge of the stadium, the Hate Monger looked on. Blast, 
>> those meddling heroes. Had Reo's concert gone on unimpeded, the death 
>> toll would have been staggering. As it was, there would only be 
>> massive injuries a paltry number of deaths.
>
> The fact that the Hate Monger was here at all, seeking Reo, implies he 
> had a strong suspicion of Reo's abilities, and had planned, or hoped, 
> to use them.  His speech at the time must have been some sort of 
> analysis of exactly HOW Reo influences group emotions.

% Yep. He knew something was going on, but it was only when it was used 
on him that he could define it.

>
> The Hate Monger's goal is still a little vague to me:  he's using hate 
> as a tool to achieve death, it seems, rather than promoting hate as a 
> goal in itself.  Unless he hates Japanese people for some reason.

% He'll explain all when he gets the chance. He'll be popping up frequently

>
>> Hmm. It sounded suspiciously like mind control. Actually he had 
>> suspected it for a while. Mind controlling villains were a lot more 
>> common than people thought.
>
> Heh.

% And I've used a number of them here

>
>
> Nice, fun work, as always!

% Thanks. Glad you liked it

DB Sommer
>
>
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