[FFML] [Ranma/Various] Avenging Act 4 chapter 3

[Bert Miller]

Grabbing a moment between meetings...

On 4/27/2011 1:58 PM, DB Sommer wrote:
> chapter' category. The main character in this one you'll want to 
> remember is the one responsible for everything]

That would be the gentleman in the black Klan outfit...

>
> "Oh." That could be... bad. Left alone with him, Nabiki might not be 
> able to keep her hands off him.

Prescient of Ranma...

> Like all the Tendou girls, she had expressed more than a casual 
> interest in him. Well, they kept it to themselves pretty well, but he 
> could sense it.

(drily)  ... Right...

> Academy. So nice to see you. I would have given you backstage passes 
> if I had known you were coming. Well, I guess with a mutant pheromone 
> wouldn't need one." He stared knowingly at Narumi.

last phrase of the quoted speech seems to be missing a subject:  
...mutant pheromone you wouldn't need one..

> "Yes, it does," Alison said, a bit miffed at the sarcasm. "You'd be 
> surprised at the number of connections we've established among the 
> elite and powers that be with careful selection of Alice abilities 
> working in concert with their goals. And the term Alice is being used 
> with increasing frequency. True integration has begun."
>
> Reo suddenly gained a shifty gleam to his eyes. "You know, you have 
> quite the singing voice. Perhaps we should form a duet."
>
> Alison found herself starting to nod just as a Narumi said, "Enough. 
> Don't think of using your voice manipulation Alice on us, or you'll be 
> sorry." The warning shook Alison out of her stupor. Now she glared 
> evilly at Reo.

I haven't seen "Gakuen Alice" or read the manga, but you seem to be 
using the word a little differently than how the work "mutant" is used.  
I'd have expected "..using your voice manipulation Alice ability on 
us.." above.  Two paragraphs above that, you used "Alice" as an 
adjective, applied to "abilities".

> "--That will sell millions while my Alice will net me tens of 
> millions," Reo completed. "It's part of my natural abilities, I'll be 
> damned if I don't use them as so many of our fellow mutants do," he 
> emphasized the words.
>
> "You'll give the Alice community a bad name," Narumi warned.

Just above, "Alice" is again an adjective, while above that it's a noun 
with a meaning "power", apparently.

> The door flew open. Standing in the doorway was a large man. He wore a 
> purple conical mask and matching tabard with an 'H' on it. Thick arms 
> and legs jutted out from the tabard, encased in chain mail, while 
> bulky leather boots and gloves completed the outfit. The only part of 
> his body that was visible were crimson eyes through slits in the mask.

I have only a vague memory of this Marvel character, but the description 
seems to match my memory.  You must not be taking many liberties with 
the character.

> Ranma shifted his weight in mid-air, his shirt tearing as he pulled 
> free from her grasp.

Heh.  Oops.


> Again she attacked him, forcing him on the defensive, as she continued 
> her mantra of three words, repeating them in the same order again and 
> again as she attacked.
>
> Finally he tagged her with a powerful left to the jaw.

It seems to me that Ranma ought to be trying to hit her solar plexus or 
something which definitely wouldn't kill her.  Captain American throwing 
a full power punch to any non-super woman's jaw would risk serious 
injury, surely.

> Out at the edge of the stadium, the Hate Monger looked on. Blast, 
> those meddling heroes. Had Reo's concert gone on unimpeded, the death 
> toll would have been staggering. As it was, there would only be 
> massive injuries a paltry number of deaths.

The fact that the Hate Monger was here at all, seeking Reo, implies he 
had a strong suspicion of Reo's abilities, and had planned, or hoped, to 
use them.  His speech at the time must have been some sort of analysis 
of exactly HOW Reo influences group emotions.

The Hate Monger's goal is still a little vague to me:  he's using hate 
as a tool to achieve death, it seems, rather than promoting hate as a 
goal in itself.  Unless he hates Japanese people for some reason.

> Hmm. It sounded suspiciously like mind control. Actually he had 
> suspected it for a while. Mind controlling villains were a lot more 
> common than people thought.

Heh.


Nice, fun work, as always!