[FFML] [Haruhi] [Dark] Error in Calculation: Chapter Five

[Brian Randall]

2010/3/28 Chester Castañeda <chester.castaneda at gmail.com>:
> On Sun, Mar 28, 2010 at 6:31 PM, Brian Randall <durandall at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> 'Mandatory twists'.  O_o?
>
> You know, those plot twists he does at the end of most of his movies.

Yeah, I followed that, but it seemed to be in the lines of 'expected
surprise'.  Something of an oxymoron, though I suppose it is not that
by necessity.

>> Yeah, I do.  Over a dozen times in the first chapter alone (which
>> suggests I use repetitive sentence structure, but anyway), I like the
>> suggested stylistic pause.  How did this only just now become an
>> issue?
>
> Hmm. If that's so, then I'll stop taking note of that in the future.
> If I forget taking note of it, my bad. Besides, I did say it was just
> a suggestion. So... yeah. Let's agree to disagree point number one?
> ^^;

Well, just for this fic.  I would have changed it if you mentioned
earlier, and I'm going to try to avoid the convention in future
writing.  But it got in under the radar, so to speak, so....

> I apologize for getting you stressed over my opinion on his portrayal.
> If you're adamant about your portrayal about him as correct, then I
> won't push the issue any further because, really, this is merely
> opinion and feedback, not a place for debate over character
> interpretations. If I've distressed you in any way (and why wouldn't
> you be stressed... you actually did the effort to improve
> characterization, and then this jack-off over here still says it's not
> enough; as you say, mea culpa), then I apologize. I was merely sharing
> my opinion, and it's not a hard, fast fact or the only way to portray
> Itsuki.

Despite everything, I'm not adamant that my portrayal is 'correct'.
In my mind it's 'feasible', and fit the story I was telling ... and
for the time being, I'm happy to leave it at that.

> No, no, it's quite all right. I just cannot apologize enough in regard
> to the Koizumi thing; so, as a compromise, I won't be commenting
> anymore in regards to Koizumi in future C&C, if you would allow me to
> C&C. Is that an okay enough compromise or do you feel too slighted by
> my feedback?

Sorry for snapping; it was really just the very narrow issue of the
Koizumi-stuff (I really honestly don't even like him as a character
... probably because Kyon doesn't either).  Everything else was
appreciated.

>> Um....  I worked for a while proofing people's formal cards (wedding
>> invitation, housewarming, etc.) and there was an in-house style book
>> we always had to use in these cases.  I am probably relying on my
>> memory of that, even though we acknowledged that the 'protocol'
>> correct capitalization tended to vary from the grammatically correct.
>> I should not do that.
>
> Hmmm. Okay. Interesting. I'll keep that in mind the next time I
> feedback other fics. After all, some of these rules aren't hard, fast
> rules after all.

Ah, I may have gotten a bit off topic there.  I meant to say only that
I remembered the 'right' way to do it, which may not actually be the
'correct' way.  Generally, in writing, I'd rather have it be
grammatically correct outside of dialog.  High society is above our
petty grammar concerns!  ...or something like that.

> Ah, okay. I misinterpreted it. At any rate, characterization doesn't
> necessarily have to follow some hard, fast rule (the same as with
> grammar in terms of poetic license). I admit, I may be mistaken with
> my opinion once I read the novels. I may believe I'm right after
> reading the novels and use several facts there to back up my claims as
> well. You've read the novels, so you probably have a better idea
> behind Itsuki's characterization. I'm just sorry my snarkiness grated
> you. I'll see to it that it won't happen again or else risk getting
> killfiled by you. ^^; Gomen.

Well, don't worry about that.  And don't give me too much credit WRT
characterization; I have blind spots, and in any case, I'm going by an
unreliable narrator who admits that he doesn't like the character in
question. o_o

> I apologize again. Even with the warning and the disclaimers, my
> commentary can be pretty distressing. There's not enough warning to
> fully prepare people for my acerbic commentary. ^^;;

I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was more me than you. -_-

In any case, thank you for your feedback and commentary so far.

-- 
Brian Randall
--
I write fanfiction. Too much of it. You can read it here, thanks to a
kind grant from the Larry F foundation:
http://www.florestica.com/brandall/
--
Together. Allegiance or death. BIGFIRE!
--
Haiku of my lament:

Forgive my spelling,
my U.S. education,
is the source of blame.