[FFML] [Haruhi] [Dark] Error in Calculation: Chapter Three

[Brian Randall]

2010/3/12 Chester Castañeda <chester.castaneda at gmail.com>:
> Hello. I'm Abdiel, and here's my lengthy EULA of sorts made by
> Benjamin A. Oliver:

Good to see you again, Sir!

> C&C EULA Summarized: I can be a bit of a dick when reviewing stuff.
> Use what you can use, ignore the rest.

No worries; I'm a bit of one of those almost all the time, not just
when reviewing!

> On an unrelated note, congratulations! You're the 200th C&C I've made
> since I started
> C&Cing regularly in 2005 and made enemies of fanfic authors everywhere
> because of my none-to-polite way of nitpicking (and a few appreciative
> ones here and there). Man, did C&Cing teach me some hard lessons, like
> don't C&C a fic in the middle of a series, read it all the way through
> first, or at least use Google to educate yourself on what is or isn't
> a word. Ah, good times. Good times. ^_^

Hmm.  Was I also #100?  Or #150?  I seem to recall some other landmark
number being mentioned in the past....  Might be wishful thinking on
my part. :p

> Anyway, on to the C&Cing! Huzzah!

Right, of course.  To good times!

> No problem, Gmail is a veritable repository of emails at this point,
> if you allow it. It's now my archive of FFML fics. I barely delete
> mine nowadays save for the most obvious of spam, and they get sent to
> the trash anyway. It's only unfortunate that they have a "We can
> delete your account whenever we want and for whatever reason" policy
> in their agreement, but so does Yahoo Mail and Hotmail.

Probably just CYA on their part so if there's a crash they can say,
"We warned you!"

> I wish that there were more Haruhi fanfics. I mean, thanks for
> representing Haruhi with the FFML man, because had the FFML been as
> active with Haruhi as it was with Ranma, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo,
> Evangelion, and multi-series crossovers, then I would've gotten to
> read endless parody fics about Endless Eight. If only. ^_^ Oh well...

Fanfiction.net has your hundreds of Endless Eight parodies.

*SPOILER*: Over half of them are Kyon goinking Yuki.
...most of the rest are Yuki goinking Kyon.

> Yuki is smaller than Haruhi? I was under the impression that all three
> girls were of the same height and relative weight (except Mikuru for
> two or three reasons). I mean, just look at the meme-like ending song
> of the series. (Think) Am I right, or am I mistaken?

Novel art and descriptions have Nagato shorter than Mikuru, who is
slightly shorter than Haruhi.  Haruhi is taller than Kyon when she
wears the heels for her bunny-girl costume (obviously not the case in
the anime, where males are almost a full head taller on average).
Koizumi is taller than Kyon.  Actual heights aren't given.

Height aside, Nagato definitely has a slighter build in any case; Kyon
describes her as almost weightless (at least lighter than his 11 year
old sister, compared to those descriptions ... but the 'deadly wake-up
elbow-slam' may be biasing him).

>> the city surface, making the trudge even less pleasant than usual.
>> Despite her tiny frame, Yuki seemed to ignore the heat.
>
> The only tiny-framed Yuki I know of is the one from Haruhi-chan.

Kyon refers to her as tiny/slight/small in the novels.

> Er, Asakura Ryoko-san, you should have installed a better "social
> module" inside you--better than Nagato's at least--so that you'd know
> that this isn't the best time to flaunt your obvious guiltiness. Yeah,
> anyone who's bothered to watch the series knows it was you who did it,
> but at the very least try to feign a modicum of innocence with the
> people around you.

Asakura: But my motive was never to get away with it.  It was just to
see how Haruhi reacted.  Revealing myself as the murderer could yield
interesting results!
Nagato: My social monitor is functioning completely.
Emiri: Maybe you should respond before it gets so close to the margins
of acceptable behavior...?
Nagato/Asakura: Why?

> You have a penchant for knowing which buttons to push, fic. If you
> want Ryoko to come out as dislikable, then congratulations; mission
> accomplished. Looks like this particular artificial human isn't as
> Genre Savvy as I thought she would be. She's being too gleeful in her
> gloating such that she doesn't care if it makes her look suspicious.

Complete Monster ... check.

> Nagato: If she were Genre Savvy, she wouldn't have dared kill Kyon in
> the first place.

My personal suspicion is that Ryouko and Yuki staged that fight for
Kyon's benefit to really sell him on the significance of his
situation. >_>

I got no evidence, except for how long Ryouko toyed with him before
Yuki actually showed up.  It just seems that if Ryouko really wanted
him dead, it would have happened without any windup or preamble.  <_<

>>     Someone was screaming promises of murder at Asakura Ryouko, and
>
> (blinks) Seriously, for someone who could get away with murder, Ryoko
> isn't very subtle. I expected her to approach this Kasumi-like before
> asking Haruhi some Armor-Piercing Questions.

Ryouko: It's been THREE DAYS.  You think Suzumiya's boredom is
dangerous?  Mine makes me try and stab Kyon to see what happens.
Nagato: It may be inadvisable to kick fate when it does not respond to
being tempted.
Ryouko: *stabstabstab*
Nagato: That, also, seems inadvisable.

> Ryoko (as Marvin the Martian): Where's the kaboom? There was supposed
> to be an earth-shattering kaboom! (Pouts)

Heehee!

> Almost as awesome as the time when Kyon beat Haruhi up in order to end
> Endless Eight.
>
> Kyon: (Whispers stuff to me, gives me the URL
> http://kielmaru07.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/tunas-endless-eight-02.jpg)
>
> ...I don't care if it's from a hentai dojin, I still consider it canon
> in my mind. ^_^

...well, I found that page cathartic after Sigh, but the rest of that
doujin left me very @_ at .  Still, the fact that Haruhi was (bizarrely)
happy at the end left it at that instead of moving into high octane
nightmare fuel.

Er, I mean, so I'm told. >_>

*mutters* ...would rather have seen him punch Kyo-Ani....

> The outfit of a skydiver with no parachute that's just passing by?

Obviously.  Now she'll get into a taxi and spin to safety!

> (obligatory fangirl squee)
>
> Kyon: (eyes half-lidded) I see you're still undressing at random
> moments, Koizumi.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7jqHEyUF-U