[FFML] [multi-series X-over] Project: S.H.O.D.A.N, prologue

[The Wanderer]

(Your mailer seems to have done something odd with the quoting here;
your reply and the material you quoted appeared all on a single line,
even though the quoted material was on multiple lines in its original
post. Fortunately my own mail client is capable of rewrapping it onto
multiple lines for reply purposes, but it's still hard to read in its
original form; you might want to look at your mail client's
configuration, or consider using another program.)


Chen Yong wrote:

> Hmm. I'm not sure which story you're reading, but if it's the one I
> wrote, I don't seem to recall any established characters, much less
> "everyone", getting steamrollered/beaten up by any main character.

Ranma, unquestionably an established character of his context and one of
the most formidable fighters, is losing fairly badly to a new villain
we've never heard of. Your new character - who appears to be the main
character of your fic - comes in and defeats the new villain without
great difficulty, albeit not nearly as easily as he'd expected to.

This establishes the new (-> main) character as being significantly more
powerful than someone who is shown as being significantly more powerful
than Ranma, who is himself significantly more powerful than most other
people in his home continuity. Indirect though this is, it does produce
the described effect; Robert Geiger didn't say that your character *did*
steamroll over Ranma, but it's very plain that he *could* if
circumstances demanded it, and the ability to drastically outpower the
major protagonist is something which is a very common sign of
self-insert or similar characters.

I noticed something of the same effect on the first read-through myself,
and it was 'a point in the negative column' if you'll excuse the
metaphor - but in light of the context provided by the last segment or
two of the chapter it might make enough sense to be excusable or even to
work well, so I didn't comment on it.

-- 
       The Wanderer doesn't really like to reply to people who top-post 
if he can't request that they Not Do That Please, but does do it anyway 
from time to time

Warning: Simply because I argue an issue does not mean I agree with any
side of it.

Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.