[FFML] [C&C] Re: [XOver][EVA/Lovecraft] Fear Chapter Two: Stars Now Are Right

[Aaron Nowack]

Continuing with the C&C.

Standard C&C Disclaimer:  All the below is my only occasionally useful
humble opinion, my only occasionally correct grammatical and spelling
corrections, and/or my only occasionally funny humor.

Timothy Groves wrote:
> He looked down at his arms.  "I heal very quickly."
> 
> "So we noted."  She set down the clipboard, and sat on the side of the
> bed.  "We think you heal at between ten and fifteen times the normal
> human rate.  We're not sure why.  But if I were you, I wouldn't rely on
> it."

Hmm.  Although, I suppose the first scene would provide a potential answer.

> "Doctor Akagi--"
> 
> "Call me Ritsuku."

"Ritsuku" - "Ritsuko"

> "Unless I am quite mistaken, Misato, you've just moved him into your
> apartment."
> 
> "That's right."
> 
> Ritsuko smirked.  "Kinda young, ain't he?"

Considering that Shinji is engaged in this story, this joke doesn't
quite ring true as is.  Maybe something along the lines of "He's almost
a married man, you know?"

> "Oh, hush!  You two will get along fine!  Besides, there's still one
> room available, so it's not like you two will be sharing a bed!"  She
> poked a finger at Shinji.  "Now I have a rule about teenagers under my
> roof.  If you're getting busy, put a clothes-hanger on the door."
> 
> "Doctor Akagi told me that you do not own any clothes-hangers," said
> Rei.  She looked up at Shinji, the expression in her eyes arctic.
> "There will be no need for any such precautions in any case."  She
> walked past him and into her bedroom.

Hmm.  A little more... well, not emotional, but... vehement, maybe, than
I expected from her.

> It pierced him straight through, but he began to pull himself along it,
> reaching towards her.  She knew his plan;  self-destruction.  Other Old
> Ones would be drawn here, to destroy her Father;  if she died, there
> would be nothing to stop them.  Her Brother could not fight;  it was all
> in her hands.

Hmm, indeed.  If the Narrator is Eva-01... Father is Lilith?  Or
Lilith-equivalent, rather.  Or Gendo, maybe.  Eva-00 as Brother?  I'll
see, I suppose.

> "Bad dream?"
> 
> "Yes."  He blinked in surprise.  It almost sounded as if she was worried
> about him.
> 
> "Next time you have a nightmare, please do not scream.  I am a light
> sleeper, and dislike being disturbed."
> 
> She shut the door.

Hah.  And that's it for this time; not much to say about this chapter,
although a number of interesting questions are raised.

-- 
           Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.mimiru.net/