Sagittarian Productions Present
A Fred Defense Force Fic:
Revenge Wars
Part IV
"Revenge's End"
A long time ago, in a story far, far away. . .
It is a period of civil war. Rebel authors, refusing to forsake their chosen
craft, have won their first victory against the Anime Revengers.
Defending their newly created pocket dimension, Fred, the Otakus
managed to defeat the invading anime forces, and bring about a cease-
fire, so that negotiations for peace could begin.
But Dark Forces still rise against the outmatched authors, and if they, and
the anime characters they write about are to survive, the source of the
Revenges must be found.
Working against time, a small group races to find their enemy, before
Fred is invaded once more and the FFML silenced forever. . .
***
Chapter I, "Prelude to Battle"
The Prime Sagittarian stretched after lying down for what seemed like
forever. He hated physicals with a passion, and he was relieved that this
one was over.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Tofu asked as he examined the data on his
medical tricorder. It had only taken him two weeks to become fully versed
in Fred's advanced medical technology.
"Well, at least I don't have to get poked and prodded like back on Earth,
but it's still boring as hell."
Wyrm-chan got up from the chair she had been sitting in. "Live with it."
She looked over Tofu's shoulder at the tricorder. "How does it look?"
"He's in excellent physical shape, much better than when he first arrived
in MON."
"Thanks to Madame drill sergeant over there." Prime muttered.
Wyrm-chan ignored him. "That's good, but I'm more interested in the
genetic test results."
"Gee, thanks for your concern, Dee-chan."
Wyrm-chan shot Prime a nasty look. Tofu sighed <Authors.> he thought to
himself. He walked over to the big wall display and called up the genetic
information for one Adam James Barnes, a.k.a. The Prime Sagittarian.
"Well, according to the available data, Mr. Barnes here is most definitely
exhibiting the mutant X-Factor. More specifically, he falls within the ESPer
category."
"I KNEW it!" Wyrm-chan beamed. "Wyrm owes me ten bucks!"
"Is that all?" Prime asked, anxious to leave.
"Unfortunately, no." Tofu continued.
Wyrm-chan's smile dissolved, and Prime's face took on an expression of
vague apprehension. Tofu continued.
"Mr. Barnes' ability with respect to computers and electronic devices is
well documented, and appears stable. However the Neurological scan
indicates that his psionic energy output is steadily increasing, and other
abilities may soon manifest themselves. More worrisome, his psionic
energy output is _extremely_ unstable."
"What do you mean, _unstable_?" Prime asked nervously.
"It means there is very little regulating your powers. If left unchecked, you
could begin to experience 'power surges', which could induce
neurological shock, brain damage or even kill you outright."
"Oh, is that all?" Prime croaked.
"What can we do about it?" Wyrm-chan asked.
Tofu brought up another display, this one of complicated circuit patterns.
"This is a schematic for a neural limiter. It was originally designed to help
extremely powerful ESPers control their abilities, but it should also serve
to control Mr. Barnes' surges in psionic output. Although I don't expect
him to start having difficulty in this area for some time, it would probably
be a good idea to start using the limiter now."
Wyrm-chan nodded, glad there was a solution. "That thing looks right up
Erin's alley. I'll get him to work out something."
Prime examined the circuitry displayed. He mentally queried the
computer for more information, and received a flood of information. His
initial fear that the device would numb his abilities were dispelled. Still...
"Doc, if I'm not totally off, doesn't this thing only kick in for output in the Psi
8 range and higher?"
Tofu nodded. "Yes. I didn't realize you were versed in neuro-circuitry
design."
Prime grinned. "I wasn't until a second ago."
"Ah... yes, your 'talent'. You are correct, of course. However, if your psionic
spikes were limited to the Psi 8 range, we wouldn't have such a problem.
However, the neuro-scans indicate that surges to Psi 20 are possible."
Prime blanched. Wyrm-chan was confused at his reaction; She wasn't
well versed in this particular psionic measuring scale. "Excuse me,
Doctor, but I'm afraid I'm not sure what that means."
"Let me explain." Prime said. "The Psi scale is a general measure of
psionic output that works for all types of ESPers. A Psi 1 to 3 is normal
human. Psi 0 is a special case. Psi 4 is where abilities begin to manifest
themselves. Featherweight telekinetics, people with extreme sensitivity to
the moods and emotions of others, etc. Psi 8 is where the real power
starts to kick in. Telekinetics can lift their own weight, telepaths can not
only read thoughts, but broadcast their own, even to non-telepaths.
Precogs can start making accurate predictions. I'm about a Psi 6"
"Psi 7, now." Tofu replied.
"So what is a Psi 20 capable of?" Wyrm-chan asked.
"Psi 20 kinetics can lift literally tons." Prime continued. "Around Psi 12,
Telepaths can not only read and broadcast, but alter. They can also
cause catastrophic overloads in the minds of others through something
call a Psi-blast. A Psi 20 can kill with them. The victim even manifests
physical burns when their neural pathways superheat."
"Ouch." Wyrm-chan said. "Do we have anyone at Psi 20?"
"A few." Tofu said. "But ESPers at that level are rare. I have an information
file on the subject, if you'd like." He handed her a data chip.
"Thank you." Wyrm-chan replied. "Ada... Prime, you know more about
neurolimiters than I do, you handle that end."
Prime nodded. Before he could leave, Wyrm-chan caught his shoulder.
"Oh, by the way, they need you over in the Fred defense control center, to
work out some of the bugs in the targeting software. Grab some things
from your quarters, because you'll be bunking there for a few days."
"Oh perfect." Prime griped. "Who needs Club Med? I've got the Snooze
Cafe!"
"Look, I know it isn't as much fun as slicing into Genom's computer
system, but it's just as important." Wyrm-chan replied.
"Why don't you just get Alpha to do it?"
Wyrm-chan scowled for a moment. "I've got... different plans for him. I'm
sure you can handle it."
"But...!"
"Now GO!" Wyrm-chan gave him a rough shove, sending him on his way.
She left the infirmary herself, popping the data chip into a reader as she
walked. The file was called "ESPers: A Proper Care and Feeding Guide.",
and had a wealth of information on the needs of particular ESPers. For
instance, Telepaths of Psi 9 or better required special shielding around
their quarters, otherwise they would unconsciously tune into the dreams
of the sleepers in adjacent rooms. That could become an eventual
problem with Adam, especially since Alpha could access those dreams
through him. She didn't particularly want the HentA.I. poking around her
unconscious mind.
<Prime.> She reminded herself. <He's calling himself Prime now.> Ever
since his A.I. other had claimed his usual handle, Adam had been
miserable. Wyrm-chan had never met anyone who despised their own
name so much! Finally, he settled on using 'Prime', from his title as 'The
Prime Sagittarian'. She thought it was a little goofy, but she also believed
it calling people by the names they wanted to be called by.
She shut down the reader and returned her thoughts to a problem that
had been nagging her for some time. By now everyone knew that there
was definitely a central force behind the revenges. Both Prime and
Skywise had reported references to it, and Nightelf had actually been
attacked by it directly. The big problem, now that they knew about it, was
_finding_ it.
Wyrm had tried a Chronometric scan, reasoning that anything that
powerful would stand out like a huge neon sign say "Over here!".
Unfortunately, whoever this (?) was, it had used the exact same signature
cloaking techniques that Wyrm had used for MON, rendering even a
rough estimate of its location impossible.
As far as Wyrm-chan was concerned, there was only one person who
would know where (?) was. Unfortunately, Wyrm was scared stiff of her.
She made her way to one of MON's numerous Holodecks. She was
surprised to find that it was in use. <Only Wyrm and I ever use this
particular holodeck...> "Durandal, who is presently in Holodeck 15, and
what is the current program?"
"THE CURRENT PROGRAM RUNNING IN HOLODECK 15 IS WYRM
CALISTHENICS PROGRAM ONE. CURRENT USER IS ADMIN-WYRM."
"Oh, well then he won't mind me joining him." Wyrm-chan overrode the
privacy lock and entered the holodeck. Just inside the entrance was a
rack of weapons, and she selected a simple staff. The program was set
on a nonspecific rocky plain, with a number of crevasses and ridges to
hide behind. The sounds of battle were a short distance away, over a
nearby ridge.
Wyrm-chan crested the ridge and saw Wyrm fighting with four opponents,
using the same staff that she had selected. <Oh Wyrm-sama, you are so
_predictable_> Wyrm-chan thought. Then, with a yell, she attacked the
nearest holo-opponent.
Wyrm was startled by her sudden arrival, and his current opponent nearly
managed to get a good hit in, but he recovered fast. Wyrm-chan bashed
her first opponent, relying on brute strength and reveling in being able to
flex her half-zoalord muscles freely. The creature's skull caved in
bloodlessly, and it dissolved in a shower of sparkles. The next she used a
combination of lighting fast strikes, finally tripping up her adversary and
slamming the butt end of her staff into it's head, ending its holographic
life. She looked up to see that Wyrm had finished his too opponents,
although non-lethally.
"Playing Keh'lyr to my Worf, Wyrm-chan?" he asked, leaning on his staff.
"Of course, Wyrm-sama." She said in a low, husky voice, slowly
advancing on Wyrm. "And I do believe they had a _very_ good idea
concerning a victory celebration."
Wyrm's ponytail stiffened (as did something else), and his lavender-
rimmed glasses fogged up. "Uhh, I don't think that's such a good idea,
Dee-chan. I mean, with the war and all... this just isn't a good time!" He
finished desperately.
<Almost.> Wyrm-chan thought. "Oh well, if you're going to be such a
prude." She sighed, exaggerating the act so that her already tight-fitting
jumpsuit strained across her chest.
Wyrm swallowed hard, but managed to keep his composure. "Is that the
only reason you butted in on my training?" He asked, suddenly annoyed
that she had turned a semi-challenging fight into a cakewalk.
"Not really." Wyrm-chan replied. "I wanted to talk to you about this (?)
problem."
"No, absolutely not!"
"What?!"
Wyrm crossed his arms. "You are NOT conducting a raid of Washuu's lab,
and that's final!"
"But Wyrm-sama, we KNOW that she knows where (?) is! You know its
just a matter of time before Washuu locks onto Fred anyway. Even with
the new defenses and recruits, we'll be badly outnumbered. We have to
do something NOW!"
Wyrm shook his head. "Washuu would eat MONforce for breakfast, and
you know it!" He walked over to Wyrm-chan to gripped her shoulders.
"We'll find another way, Dee-chan, I promise you that! But I can't allow
you to risk MONforce like that, not now. Promise me you won't do
something stupid."
"I... promise I won't take MONforce into a raid on Washuu." Wyrm-chan
said reluctantly.
"Good." Wyrm said, shouldering his staff. "I've got a lot of work to do now.
I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay, Wyrm-sama." She said unenthusiastically. She watched him leave,
then reset the calisthenics program.
<I promised not to take MONforce to Washuu's lab,> She thought,
smashing her first opponent. <But I never said I wouldn't go myself!>
***
Frosty-Usa walked along the corridor to the simulator room. She caught a
few looks from some of the male engineers working there, and smiled a
little to herself: They didn't recognize her, or rather, who she was
supposed to look like.
Frosty had been dunked in the spring of drowned Chibi-Usa, and was
locked in that form. After she had proceeded to create Fred as a refuge,
she decided to deal with her physical situation. Being stuck as a little girl
had some serious disadvantages. The gender she couldn't change.
Whatever method they had used to lock her, even Naniichuan wouldn't
undo. But the age she could fix.
Fred was temporally accelerated, compared to the "real" world, which
meant years passed on Fred in the span of minutes on Earth. However,
Frosty-Usa had established an anti-cellular degenaeration field in her
pocket universe to slow everyone's aging to Earth standard levels, which
meant that even though they would experience centuries on Fred, they
would only age the few minutes that had passed on Earth. But she didn't
establish it right away. Before she opened Fred as a sanctuary she spent
time studying her creation, ensuring that she could support all the
incoming authors without hurting the ecosystem. In that time she grew up,
and when she finally did establish the anti-aging field, she was physically
21. The effect was rather stunning, even if she did say so herself. If
Frosty-Usa was any indicator, Chibi-Usa was going to grow up to be
absolutely stunning. Frosty had taken to wearing her hair down (The
pigtails just didn't suit her) and kept to modest clothing, even though she
had the figure for more flattering attire. She _was_ still a man after all,
mentally if nothing else. At least, that's what she believed. As it was she
still got numerous propositions from the male populace, even from those
who knew about her condition.
The simulator room was often described as 'The Video Arcade', which
wasn't too far from the truth. Along one wall was a full bank of Veritech
simulators, enough for two squadrons. There was a full bar, as well as a
huge flat-panel display, so that the other pilots could watch the simulation
in progress. There were a few other items, including a fooseball table, a
couple of pool tables and a mini-gym. It served as a training facility, pilot's
lounge and recreation center for Fred's veritech squadrons, and the pilots
spent most of their time here. Even the pilots from the Super Dimensional
Fortresses and the _Yamato_ had taken to frequenting the place.
A young man with close-cropped black hair sitting at one of the tables
noticed her and waved her over. Frosty-Usa waved back and joined him.
"So, Numbski, how is the pilot selection going?" She asked, ordering a
drink from one of the waiterbots.
The leader of the Otaku Knights Veritech Squadron sighed and leaned
his chin on his fist. "Sloooow. I've already selected Ekisya as my
wingsecond, but the rest of the squadron..." he trailed off. "I'm just worried
that I might make a bad pick and get someone killed."
"Don't worry so much." Frost-Usa chided him. "You'll make the right
choice, because you know what your pilots need to survive. That's why I
chose you for Squadron Commander." She cocked her head. "Just out of
curiosity, are you considering animate candidates? Not to try and
influence your decision, but having a few of them in the squadron would
make alliance negotiations go a lot smoother."
Numbski nodded. "I have a few on my list, although not because of that."
He pinned Frosty-Usa with a I-Hate-Bureaucracy-And-You-Should-Too
look. "Arisa Mitamura is a possibility. She's got the flying experience, and
she takes to just about any weapons system like no one I've ever seen.
But she's a little too uncontrolled. Strangely enough, Nabiki Tendo is also
in the running."
Frosty-Usa raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding. I never figured Nabiki to
be the pilot type."
Numbski shrugged. "I know, but one day she simply showed up for flying
lessons, and I put her in with the rest of the group. She blew the top off
the spacial acuity test, by the way. I figure its a hereditary thing, part of
what made her father and sister such good martial artists." He took a
quick swig of his drink. "I'm worried about her, though. In the simulators
and test flights she's always flown ice-cold. No mistakes, ever. But I
KNOW she's in this as a personal revenge for what happened to Akane,
and I don't know what'll happen once she goes up against the Pfhor for
real."
Frosty-Usa nodded. She looked up at the wall monitor and noticed that it
was causing a fair bit of commotion. It seemed there was a heated
dogfight in progress.
"Oh, great!" numbski said angrily, watching as a blue Vertiech began
shooting down everything else on the screen. "Max Sterling snuck into
the simulator again!" He finished off his drink and stood up. "Excuse me,
Madame Mayor, but I gotta go pull him out before he vapes all my cadets
again." Numbski stalked off to the simulators, leaving Frosty-Usa to finish
her drink alone.
***
After the incident with Mike Loader and the stolen Plot Hole, Fred's
defenses had been decimated. The Eye of Harmony power station had
been completely destroyed, and the information and power infrastructure
that had powered and controlled the ion cannons and defensive shields
had been severed in a dozen places. Repairs had begun, and thanks to
Fred's accelerated time relative to the 'real' world, good progress had
been made.
Stargazer and his horde of Otaku Engineers were rapidly rebuilding the
power station and the power grid, with numerous improvements to
prevent a repeat of the last battle. In addition, the huge multi-story ion
cannons were being equipped with independent backup power and
control systems. Gary Kleppe, although unwilling to build weapons,
proved adept at force shield mechanics, and set to work with a small
team rebuilding and improving the shield grid, modifying it to take
advantage of the increase in available power. Barry Cadwgan took on
the thankless task of rebuilding the Fred compound itself, trying to rebuild
the infrastructure and get it to work with the other two projects.
Unfortunately, with the damage to Fred's barracks, and the sudden influx
of Otakus and Animates, quarters were getting a little _tight_.
Prime became very aware of this situation as he now shared his new
quarters with Zen, Webdragon, Kyone, Ukyou, Nene and Priss of the
Knight Sabers and Kei and Yuri of the Dir... Lovely Angels. The first two
were fellow authors, and good ones at that, so he got along well with
them. Ukyou and Priss hated his guts, simply due to his connection to
Wyrm and his plot holes, which was a little uncomfortable. Nene he had
difficulty reading (despite his alleged psi abilities) which was probably
due to the Cute Redhead Subroutine more than anything else. It was Kei
and Yuri he had a problem with.
Well, Yuri wasn't so bad. She tended to leave him alone as long as he did
the same, which was fine with him. It was KEI that was the problem.
Evidently Prime's insane A.I. counterpart had hit on Kei relentlessly when
she first arrived, which was normal for him when an attractive red-haired
female was involved. Unfortunately, someone informed Kei of the
connection between Alpha Centauri and The Prime Sagittarian, and so
she decided that since she couldn't really get revenge directly on the
computer program, she would make its human counterpart's life a living
hell. Kei's favorite trick was keeping Prime female, no matter how hard he
tried to change back. Water balloons, buckets of cold water perched on
doors, sabotaged tea kettles, the list was endless.
He had just been a victim of one of these attacks as he, Webdragon, Zen
and Kyone entered Fred's communal dining hall, and _she_ was in a
rotten mood.
"Look, Prime, how long can she keep this up?" Webdragon said, trying to
cheer her up. "I mean, she can't keep a grudge forever, right?"
Zen shook his head. "I wouldn't count on it, friend. I have considerable
personal experience in that area. But at least you don't need to use
boiling water to change back!" Zen had a few complications from the
nanotech that the 3WA academy had injected into him to accelerate his
healing. Now his Jusenkyo curse required extreme temperatures to
return him to normal.
Prime-chan sulked even more. "Yeah, great. What do you think, should I
kill Wyrm-chan first, for assigning me here, Kei for making my life a living
hell, or Alpha for starting this whole mess?"
Zen leaned over to Webdragon. "I'm curious. Would killing Alpha
constitute suicide?"
Webdragon was rubbing his temple, looking distracted, like he had a
migraine. For a second Zen could have sworn Webdragon had fangs.
"Webdragon?"
"Huh? Oh... sorry. What was the question?" Webdragon rubbed his eyes.
"If Prime killed Alpha, could it be considered suicide?"
"No, it would be a community service." Webdragon said with a grin. A
normal, human grin that is, with human teeth. Zen chalked the vision of
fangs up to hunger, but part of his mind filed it away for later reference.
"You're taking this way too seriously." Kyone said to Prime-chan. "I mean,
it's not THAT bad being a girl, is it?"
"Yeah, well so far you've managed to avoid 'that time of the month',
haven't you? Do you realize how close I am? And Kei knows! She left a
box of tampons outside my door yesterday!"
They reached one of the food terminals, and Webdragon stepped up to
make his selection. He was surprised when a deranged, 3-D happyface
appeared on the screen.
"*Whadaya want?*" The A.I. asked grumpily.
Webdragon looked over his shoulder at Prime-chan. "Ohh Priiime? You
wanted to talk with Alpha?"
Prime-chan spotted the HentA.I., walked up to the terminal, expression
blank.
"*Adam! Oh, thank GOD you're here! Wyrm-chan locked me into the food
service system!! I'm stuck playing short-order cook! You gotta help me!*"
"What did you do to Kei?" Prime-chan asked quietly.
"*Huh?*"
Prime-chan looked up. There was murder in her eyes. "I have been stuck
female ever since I reached the surface, thanks to Kei, because _you_
did something to piss her off. Now you have exactly five seconds to tell
me what it was before I splice your worthless bitmap into a game of
pong!!"
Kyone back away from the enraged Otaku. "Methinks we should find
another way to get lunch." He said to Webdragon and Zen.
"Methinks you're right." Webdragon replied. They left the dining hall,
doing their best to look like they didn't know the young red haired woman
reaming out the food service terminal, and entered the building directly
across from it, which was marked by a large sign saying 'Akies'.
Evidently the first thing Akiko Natsume had done when the cease-fire had
been called was to enter negotiations with Frosty to open a branch of her
wildly successful family restaurant. Frosty agreed (for a percentage, of
course).
Of course, the food at the dining hall was free, Akies was not. However,
the dining hall was ugly, the food was bad without exception, and not all
the holes in the roof were fixed yet (Including a really big one made when
an Invid mecha crashed through the roof and onto the chicken soup
machine).
At Akies, Kasumi, Makoto, Kyoko and Belldandy did the cooking, so the
food was literally divine. As for decor... well, since the waitressing was
done by Nuku Nuku, Lum, A-ko, Akari, Yohko and Ayako Mano and the
remainder of the Sailor Senshi, most patrons didn't pay much attention to
the decor, although it was assumed to be nice. It was a Male Chauvinist
Pig's paradise, and most female authors couldn't stand to get within
twelve meters of the place. Akiko had answered their complaints by
opening another branch on the other side of the compound with an all
beefcake staff from the casts of Fatal Fury, Street Fighter II, etc. When
Ryouga started working there, it was reported that Kun-chan flat-out
refused to leave. No one seemed to care that both restaurants charged
an arm and a leg.
"Welcome to Akies!" Nuku Nuku said brightly. "A table for three?"
"Four." Zen replied. "We have someone else coming. I think."
"One table for four." Nuku Nuku said. "This way, please!"
They followed Nuku Nuku to a booth and sat. Noticing that just about
every male eye in the adjoining booths was locked on the cat-girl. "I'll be
back in just a moment to take your order." She said and bounded off to
another table. Despite the small immunity granted to them by their female
forms, the three authors were barely able to tear their eyes away.
"I LOVE this place!" Webdragon said, leaning back and folding his hands
behind his head. "Maybe Mishima will open a branch in my home town
when we get back?"
"Not very likely." Kyone replied. "Although I've been spending the last few
months fighting Youmas as a Magic Knight, so what do I know?"
The door to the restaurant opened again, and a wet, steaming and once
more male Prime walked through. He looked generally annoyed at
everything.
Nuku Nuku intercepted him before he could make his way to the booth.
"Welcome to Akies!"
Suddenly confronted with the buxom young redhead, Prime's annoyance
dissolved into a goofy grin. One could almost hear the click as the Cute
Redhead Subroutine kicked in. "Uhh... huh huh... hi."
"Table for one?" Nuku Nuku asked cheerfully. Some small part of Prime's
brain struggled to the surface to remind him that his friends were here
already, and he should sit with them. The fact that they were waving at
him frantically may have helped. "No... friends..."
"Oh! You're the friend those nice gentlemen were waiting for. Right this
way." Nuku Nuku lead the brain-fried author to the table occupied by his
friends. "I'll be back in just a second to take your order." Nuku Nuku said.
Prime just stared as she walked away, until she passed out of his line of
sight. As soon as that happened, his eyes abruptly unglazed, and he
blinked. It was like someone had thrown a light switch.
Prime sat down and dropped his head into his hands. "God that was
pathetic!"
"Yup." Webdragon said cheerfully.
"What is it with you and cute redheads?" Kyone asked. "Any other female
and you're reasonably coherent, but put you within twenty feet of a
redhead and you turn into a gibbering moron!"
"I know." Prime said miserably. "Bloody Cute Redhead Subroutine!"
"I thought that was Alpha's problem."
"It's one of the few things we have in common."
"One question." Zen said. "I've noticed that this 'Cute Redhead
Subroutine' thing isn't universal. For instance, you seem okay around
Wyrm-chan."
Prime sat up and sighed. "That's cuz I know her, and I've been around her
long enough to build up an immunity. That and the fact that I know I
haven't got a prayer with her."
"She's still chasing after Wyrm, huh?" Webdragon asked.
"Yup."
"Well, what about Kei, then?" Kyone asked. "You don't seem to be
affected by her. Pretty much the opposite, actually."
Prime scowled. "Hah! That uncute tomboy? It'd take a LOT of plastic
surgery before she'd set off the Cute Redhead Subroutine! She's built like
a fardling brick!"
Zen, Webdragon and Kyone traded half a dozen looks or so. This
sounded awfully familiar.
Nuku Nuku returned, causing Prime's brain to seize up again. "Are you
ready to order?"
"Duh..." Prime replied, drooling a little.
"Ummm... nothing for me. I have no money." Webdragon said.
Kyone looked sharply at Webdragon. <What is he talking about?>
Webdragon had just recently won a rather large sum from Kyone
concerning the outcome of a recent game of Gravity Ball between
Stargazer and Barry Cadwgan's engineering teams. He even
remembered the look on Webdragon's face as he accepted the credit chit
for six thousand yen. It was hungry, almost... draconic?
"Three burger plate specials." Zen said. Considering the prices, it was all
they could afford. Especially poor Kyone, after that bet. <I wonder why
Webdragon isn't ordering anything? He certainly has the money for it!>
"Three specials. Will that be all?"
"For now, yeah."
"Thank you very much. I'll be right back with your order." Nuku Nuku
turned and walked off. As soon as she was out of sight Prime snapped
back to normal.
"You seem worse than usual today." Webdragon commented to Prime.
"It's the waitressing outfit." Prime sighed.
"It is kinda _tight_, isn't it?" Kyone said.
Prime nodded, then immediately zoned out as A-ko walked by the table
on her way to help a customer. Zen sighed.
"I don't think we should bring him here anymore." Zen said. He scanned
the restaurant idly, waiting for Prime's brain to return from vacation. He
abruptly forgot about the hacker, though, when he spied Ukyou.
Seeing a non-employee female in this Branch of Akies was unusual
enough, but seeing Ukyou anywhere outside of Alliance negotiations
with Frosty was almost unheard of. Technically she was assigned to the
same dorm as Zen and his friends, but she usually left before anyone
woke up, and returned late at night. Allegedly, she was off training every
free minute she had. Most people knew about Ranma's death, and that it
had affected her deeply. But no one really understood what she was
going through.
Not like Zen did.
He made a split second decision, and stood up to leave. Prime abruptly
snapped out of his trance, even though A-ko was still visible. Wordlessly
Zen walked over to Ukyou's table.
"What the hell is he doing?!" Kyone hissed. A lot of other authors had
approached Ukyou in the past week. A few of them had even regained
consciousness. He got up to stop Zen, but halted when Prime caught his
arm. Webdragon simply stayed silent.
"Leave him. He knows what he's doing." Prime said. "At least, he thinks
he does."
Kyone grumbled, but sat down. "Fine. But I get his stereo!"
Webdragon looked quizzically at Prime. As soon as Zen had stood up an
odd expression had crossed Prime's face. Prime took a swig of ice water
and muttered. "I guess I'll have to go see Erin sooner than I thought."
Zen walked up to the table, trying to smile in a friendly, non-threatening
way. "Do you mind if I join you?" <Ye gods, a cliche opening! I'm really
slipping.>
"Do whatever the hell you like." Ukyou said quietly, never lifting her eyes
from her tea.
Zen sat down, ignoring the sudden gust of frigid air emanating from the
brown-haired girl. "I haven't seen you around the dorm much."
"I didn't feel much like socializing." Ukyou replied. "I still don't."
Zen knew a thinly veiled request to scram when he heard it. He also
didn't pay much attention to them. He remembered what this was like,
and the _last_ thing Ukyou wanted was to be alone. "Ucch... Ukyou, let
me tell you a story. A long time ago... well, it seems like a long time, there
was a young man who was happily married. Everything in his life
seemed to be going right. But something happened, and everything fell
apart. I... he lost her, and everything came crashing down. He figured he
was alone, and always would be."
"Is there a point to this story?" Ukyou said coldly. "Or is it like all the rest of
your fables?"
Zen blinked. "That's unfair, Ukyou."
"Is it?" Ukyou asked, finally looking up. "This little story is just a lie, a fable
to get me to trust you. What, have you got a bet running on how long it'll
take before you end up in the sack with me? How much have you got
riding on this?"
Zen's expression hardened. "Ukyou, look me in the eye, carefully. _Now_
tell me I'm lying."
Ukyou looked him in the eye. She registered surprise for a moment, then
a little shame. "Oh. I'm... sorry."
"It's understandable." Zen said, eyes softening. "By the way, the point of
the story is that you're not alone. Priss, Nene, Nabiki, Kasumi, they share
your loss. You shouldn't shut them out."
Ukyou shook her head. "No, I'm the outsider. Nabiki, Kasumi, they're
sisters. Nene and Priss are practically the same. The only person I had
was... Ranma." Ukyou returned her gaze to her tea.
"There's me." Zen said hopefully.
Ukyou shook her head. "I'm just... not ready to reopen that particular
wound, Zen. Please, I'd like to be alone."
Zen got up regretfully. "I understand. When you're ready, you know where
you can find me." He returned to the booth and sat down.
"What gives?" Kyone said. "How come you're still in one piece?"
"Who said I was to begin with?" Zen said quietly.
***
Shallow 15 was every mad scientist's dream. It was temporally
accelerated, the same as Fred (a new feature), and was stocked with
everything you needed to conduct insane experiments, minus the
maniacal laugh (It was still on mail order).
Erin was quite happy to make his contribution to the Author Liberation
Front by puttering around Shallow 15 and whipping up whatever devices,
chemicals, etc. that they needed. Except Ukyou clones, of course. No
Ukyou clones. None. Not under ANY circumstances.
The portal in the corner flared to life, and a young man with reddish-
brown hair stepped through. Erin looked up from his current experiment.
"Prime! What's up?" Erin stood up and walked over to his friend. Behind
him the experiment he was working on blew up.
Erin turned around to look at the small crater. "Gee, I guess I should have
used a little less anti-hydrogen." He returned his attention to Prime. "So
what's up? This a social visit, or do you need something?"
Prime rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Umm, you know
that special 'equipment' I asked you to whip up? It looks like I might need
it sooner than I thought."
"Really?" Erin asked as he cleaned up his mess. "Why? What
happened?"
"Well, I'm not sure exactly what happened, but today I caught an image
from Zen's mind."
Erin raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating. I didn't think you were supposed to
be able to do that for some time now."
"Me too." Prime replied. "It wasn't specific or concrete. Just a feeling, a
really strong one I guess. But it was there."
Erin grinned. "Well, luckily for you I finished your order yesterday." He
disappeared into a back room, where he rummaged around. "The neuro-
circuitry was fairly easy to incorporate into the suit. The suit itself was
dead simple. It was the accessory that was the challenge." Erin emerged
carrying a blue suit of body armor. "Go ahead, try it on."
Prime took the suit and went into a back room to change. After a few
minutes he emerged.
Prime was now decked out in full Guardian body armor, complete with
the ebony boots and silver wrist bracers. The only deviation was the
circular icon on the left side which normally had a mainframe diamond
was instead occupied by a suspiciously familiar happyface. There was
only one thing missing.
"You said you had some trouble with the 'accessory'?" Prime asked,
adjusting the suit.
"No, I said it was a challenge." Erin replied. He brought a small blue box
out from behind his back. "Once I solved the mass-expansion problem,
the rest was easy." He handed it to Prime.
"It's fully functional?" Prime asked incredulously. He studied the keytool
then placed it against his left arm bracer. It immediately attached itself
with s soft whirr.
"Of course." Erin replied, a little put off. "I don't do half measures. Give it a
try."
Prime lifted his arm, concentrating on the keytool. "Glitch, scanner." The
keytool reconfigured itself, the small circular display angling up and
stretching out. A standard tricorder readout appeared.
"Glitch, pulse-blaster." The keytool reconfigured itself into a small, wrist-
mounted weapon. Prime aimed it experimentally.
"Careful with that!" Erin admonished. Prime sheepishly put his arm down.
As soon as his attention was off the keytool, it reverted to its standard
form. "Now, there's a few things you need to know. First off, the neuro-
limiter is self powering. It runs off your psionic energy output, so no
batteries are needed. Second, the suit is based off Wyrm's standard
morph suit, so it'll automatically reconfigure itself if you get splashed. You
can also cloak it to look like whatever you want,
so you don't have to take it off if you want civvies. Third, watch the
keytool's power, it's limited. Energy weapons or devices requiring a large
mass expansion eat up power the fastest."
Prime nodded. He grinned. "Erin, you've got my vote for coolest scientist
of the year." His face fell. "Uhh, about the payment..."
"Forget it." Erin replied. "Frosty funds all my research. I just have fun
whipping all this stuff up. You're not my only client, you know." Erin
paused for a moment. "Actually, there is something you could to for me,
with that talent with computers of yours."
"Shoot."
"Well, it's easier if I show you. Max?"
"YES, DAVE?"
"See?" Erin said. "He calls everyone 'Dave'. EVERYONE. After a while it
gets annoying."
Prime nodded. "I'll see what I can do." He closed his eyes, concentrating.
He reached out and touched the computer's mind. After a quick
examination, he regretfully withdrew. "Sorry, Erin." He said, opening his
eyes. "The 'Dave' thing is rooted in his core personality file. If I start
diddling with that he could end up trying to blow you out an airlock or
something."
"Damn." Erin muttered. "I guess for $19.95, I should be willing to live with
a few bugs."
"IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG, DAVE?" Max asked, in a voice and
tone that _exactly_ matched Hal's. Prime shuddered.
"I think I'll be going, now." Prime said. He thanked Erin again and exited
through the portal.
Erin sighed as Prime vanished into the portal. Coolest scientist? Ha, if
they only knew. Erin had about as much scientific background as the
common garden snail. He had absolutely no clue what he was doing
when he built a device or created a chemical compound. And, yet,
somehow, it always worked perfectly. Always.
He couldn't understand it. No matter how haphazardly he built anything,
no matter how rushed, no matter if 80% of the thing was cobbled together
from junk swiped from the dumpster behind Radio Shack, it always
worked. Erin chalked this up to the First Law of Weird Science: "Any idiot
can do it."
It was also handy to remember the Second and Third Laws of Weird
Science, however, when giving the devices to someone else: "But don't
let anyone KNOW that any idiot can do it," and "If they ask how it works,
come up with some pseudo-scientific gobbledy gook to throw them off."
Erin had mastered the Three Laws perfectly. Law Three was particularly
easy. As McCoy might have put it, Erin was a theater major, not a
scientist.
The pseudo-scientist reached into a pocket of his leather jacket that hung
on a coat rack near the "official" entrance to Shallow 15, and pulled out a
small book entitled "Forrester's Pocket Dictionary of Scientific Terms."
"Max?"
"YES, DAVE?"
Erin rolled his eyes. "CyberScrabble, please."
Max's screen cleared and brought up a digitized Scrabble board.
"Take the transcript of my conversation with Prime, extract all words from
it that match up with Forrester's Pocket Dictionary of Scientific Terms,
place them on the board and give me a score."
In seconds, several dozen letter tiles were placed upon the board, criss
crossing it's area several times.
"CURRENT CYBERSCRABBLE SCORE: 1500"
"Well, that's not a bad start for the afternoon..."
Erin was about to return to his other work when the portal flared again.
This time Webdragon stepped through
"Hey, 2.5." Webdragon said.
"I assume you're here for your order?" Erin replied.
"Yeah."
Erin went into the back and returned with another suit of body armor, this
one red. He handed it to Webdragon, who went into the back to change.
A few minutes later, he emerged.
The suit was similar in some respects to Prime's. Certainly it had the
same protective qualities, but it's function was vastly different. It was a
deep scarlet, with maroon highlights. On the left breast was a circle, with
a dragon's face in the center. The wrist bracers were slightly thicker than
Prime's, with three circular openings just above the wrist.
Webdragon examined the suit. "So, will it do what I asked?"
"Well, it's a little more... feral than I'm used to. But, yes, it's fully functional."
Webdragon smiled rather predatorially and clenched his right fist. With a
steely *shing*, three long claws snapped out of the circular openings and
locked into position. They hummed, and glowed with a faint blue aura.
"I had a problem configuring the molecular separation field to envelop
the blades, but it was just a matter of figuring out how to keep the field
from overextending past the point. Simple, really. Still, there is one glitch
still in the system."
"What's the problem?"
"Instead of cutting through five inches of steel like "hot butter", like you
asked, it will slice through ten inches of synthetic diamond with the same
ease. If you give me another day, I'm sure I can correct the problem."
Webdragon's jaw dropped. He quickly recovered. "I think I'll live with it the
way it is. What about the other function I requested?"
"You mean the multi-wave thermoptic camouflage, plus the phase
distortion device?"
"Uhhh..."
"The phase-cloak."
"Yeah, that."
"They work very well. I was already developing a ship-mounted version
for Wyrm, and miniaturization wasn't a problem. However, power
consumption is rather high. The cloak by itself will function for about an
hour before the suit's power is completely drained, and for 20 minutes in
conjunction with the phase distortion. Mind you, that's assuming the suit
has a full charge."
"Yes! Thank you Erin!" Webdragon clapped the mad scientist on the
shoulder and left through the portal, wearing his new armor like a badge
of pride.
Erin was about to return to work when he noticed something on the white
work table. Something reddish-brown. One of Prime's hairs.
Erin picked up the hair and examined it. "Hmm. Follicle is intact." That
meant live DNA. Erin considered for a moment. <I've never had the DNA
of an ESPer to play around with before...> He grinned and went into the
part of the lab where he kept all of his really super-secret equipment.
***
"PRIME!! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, PRIME!! COME OUT!!!"
Webdragon-chan waited, then pounded the bathroom door again.
"Damnit, Prime, if you use all the hot water again... PRIME!!"
"Well, you could always share." A voice said behind her.
Webdragon-chan turned to see Kei and Yuri. Kei had that grin on her
face that generally meant nothing good.
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"You don't have to be coy with me, Web-chan. I know that this adversarial
routine is just an act. I see how you two look at each other."
"WHAT?!" Webdragon-chan howled. "Are you NUTS?!"
"Methinks the lady doth protest too much." Yuri said, leering.
"Go on in, Web-chan, I'm SURE he'll be glad to see you." Kei said, patting
Webdragon-chan roughly on the back.
Webdragon was about to blow up when she thought of a better way.
<Okaay, ladies, if you wanna play that game...> "Oh, you're right Kei,"
Webdragon-chan said, turning up the Kawaii factor several notches.
"We've tried to hide it, but it's obviously no use with two detectives like
you around."
"What?!" Kei and Yuri said, their jaws dropping.
"*WHAT?!*" Prime screamed from the shower. Obviously he had been
listening.
"But we need advice, and you two are probably the ones to ask."
Webdragon-chan continued. "How do you find acceptance in a world that
despises alternative couples?"
"Huh?" Kei said, looking confused. "Why are you asking us?"
"Well, isn't it _obvious_?" Webdragon-chan said, fighting the urge to
smirk. "You and Yuri... well, you've stayed together no matter what people
have said."
Kei and Yuri immediately turned beet red. Kei sputtered for a moment,
then screamed. "WE ARE _NOT_ LESBIANS!!!"
"Oh, so you like boys too, huh?" Webdragon-chan said, no longer fighting
the grin. "What, do you share? I guess they call you the 'Dirty Pair' for a
reason, huh?"
"That's it, you're DEAD!!" Kei screamed, taking a swipe at Webdragon-
chan. Webdragon-chan made a face and sprinted down the hall, two very
angry trouble consultants behind him. In the shower Prime shook his
head. <Idiots.> He thought. <Oh well, at least I get to finish my shower in
peace.>
His peace lasted for about thirty seconds. Then Webdragon-chan
reached the dishwasher, which she turned on, directing all the hot water
away from the shower. "Gotcha!"
"YEEEEAAAAAAARGH!!!"
***
Wyrm-chan arrived at the dorm, her face a mask of determination. She
was about to knock when she heard a crash from inside, and some kind
of battle cry. She didn't waste any time, smashing the door in and rushing
to face...
A black-haired girl ran past her at high speed, pursued by Yuri, carrying a
shoulder mounted rocket launcher.
"That's IT, Webdragon, you're finished!" Yuri cried, trying to get a bead on
the quickly moving Otaku.
Down the hall, more chaos could be heard. "C'mon, Kei, what's in a
name? How _did_ you end up getting called 'The Dirty Pair'?"
"DON'T SAY THAT NAME!!"
"What? Dirty Pair? Dirty Pair Dirty Pair DIRTY PAIR!!"
"That's IT!! You're DEAD, Prime!" There was an explosion, and a slightly
singed red-haired girl wearing nothing but a towel ran past, hotly
pursued by the red-haired member of the Lovely Angels."
Through all this, Zen-chan was sitting on the couch, reading a manga
and looking bored. She ducked slightly as a rocket from Yuri's launcher
whizzed over her head, and returned to reading.
"Did I come at a bad time?" Wyrm-chan asked, half joking.
"Not really." Zen-chan replied, not looking up from her book. "This is
pretty normal for a Monday night."
Webdragon-chan scooted around the corner, back into the foyer and
ducked in behind Wyrm-chan. Yuri skidded into view a second later and
without checking her target fired the launcher.
Everything seemed to slow to a crawl as the missile headed straight for
Wyrm-chan. She stood still, and seemed unconcerned about the
warhead rapidly approaching her head. At the last minute she threw up
her hands and loosed a ki blast at the projectile, vaporizing it.
The dorm was silent as the ashes of the missile slowly drifted to the
ground. Everyone stared at Wyrm-chan.
"I think that's quite enough." Wyrm-chan said. "I'll give you preschoolers
five minutes to make yourselves presentable, then I want to talk to you
about an urgent matter.
"Y... yes ma'am." They all replied.
"I said MOVE IT!!"
***
Five minutes later, everyone was assembled around one of the few
tables in the dorm that hadn't been smashed/crushed/blown to bits.
Webdragon and Prime had returned to their male forms, and were both
wearing the suits they had acquired from Erin.
"Copycat." Prime grumbled.
"What does that mean?" Webdragon hissed back.
"You knew I was having Erin make this suit for me, and you just HAD to
get one of your own, didn't you?"
"What?! Hey, I didn't even know about your stupid suit. I hope you didn't
pay too much for it."
"What does that mean?"
Webdragon smirked. "It's obviously inferior to mine. Definitely not worth
all the time and money Erin put into it. I didn't even shell out a dime for
this rig, and it's _far_ superior!"
"I'll show you inferior!" Prime growled. "Glitch..."
*shing*. Both of Webdragon's wolvers snapped out, humming
dangerously, as was Prime's stubby but deadly blaster as it cycled up to
full power. A look that could fry a tank to cinders passed between them.
"Would you two PLEASE shut up?" Wyrm-chan said. Webdragon and
Prime both blinked, then looked guilty. "Honestly, it's like I'm teaching a
kindergarden class!" They reluctantly lowered their weapons, still staring
daggers at each other.
"So what is this all about?" Ukyou asked.
"Before I tell you, I have to have your agreement that none of this leaves
this room, regardless of what's decided."
Everyone nodded. Priss waved her hand impatiently. "Can we get on with
it already?"
"We all know that there is definitely a central, cohesive force behind all
the revenges." Wyrm-chan began. "We suspect that it had something to
do with the Phfor showing up, although we can't confirm it." Priss, Nene
and Ukyou looked surprised at this news.
"You mean (?)" Webdragon said.
"You know about (?)" Wyrm-chan asked, a little surprised.
"Sure. It's all over Fred. He's the one we're really fighting, right?"
"Right. However, finding (?) has proven very difficult." Wyrm-chan
continued. "In fact, I believe there's only one way to find (?), and that is to
get his location from someone who already knows it."
"Washuu." Prime said.
"Exactly. We have enough data from various testimony of animates to
conclude that Washuu is the _only_ one who knows where (?) is."
"And you want us to go with you to Washuu's lab." Zen-chan said.
"Suicide was not in Zen's job description."
"I'm not asking you to actually fight Washuu." Wyrm-chan replied. "The
information will be in her computers. We'll jump in and inject Alpha
Centauri into the computers. He and Prime get the data while we cover
them, then we jump out. Simple."
"Where Washuu is concerned?" Ukyou said. "Hardly. But if it means a
chance to avenge Ranchan, then I'm in." Priss and Nene immediately
seconded the sentiment.
"Not that I'm trying to dampen everyone's enthusiasm," Prime said,
leaning back in his chair. "But why aren't you using MONforce for this,
Wyrm-chan?"
"This isn't a sanctioned mission." Wyrm-chan replied. "Wyrm deemed it
too dangerous, and I promised him I wouldn't take MONforce in." She
looked seriously at Prime. "Adam, I can't order you to take this mission.
Technically, as part of MONforce, you should be automatically exempt. I'm
sure Nene can do the data extraction, if need be."
Prime snorted. "From Washuu's computer system? Yeah, right. She
wouldn't last twenty seconds in there and you know it." Prime caught a
glimpse of Nene's expression and realized what he had just said.
<Whoops! Aww, man, me and my big mouth!>
"Does that mean you're in?" Wyrm-chan asked.
Prime nodded reluctantly. If he refused now, he would look even worse in
Nene's eyes. <She already thinks I'm a jackass. I can't afford any more
strikes.>
"What about his other half?" Kei said. "I doubt he would come along
willingly."
"Let me handle him." Prime replied.
"Oh, so NOW you do something about him?" Kei said accusingly. "I
though he was 'totally out of your control'. Isn't that what you said?"
Prime narrowed his eyes. "Well, you two make such a cute couple that I
didn't want to interfere."
"Prime, Kei, enough!" Wyrm-chan interrupted. "Kei, put down the Bloody
Card, he's no good to us in bits." Wyrm-chan fixed Prime with a nasty
look. "You can use it on him _after_."
Kei crossed her arms. "Well then, I'm going, if only to ensure that this jerk
lives long enough for me to kill him!"
"What did I do?" Prime asked.
Yuri sighed. "If Kei's going, then I am too."
Zen-chan glanced at Ukyou, then made up her mind. <Gotta make sure
you don't do something stupid, Ucchan.> "I'm going too."
Webdragon exchanged a look with Kyone. "Whadaya think?"
"If we don't go, we'll look like wimps."
"If we _do_ go, we'll look like charcoal briquettes!"
"Flip a coin?"
"Sure. Heads we go, tails we stay."
Kyone pulled out a coin and flipped it. It landed heads up.
"Best two out of three?" Webdragon asked sheepishly.
Wyrm-chan smiled. "I knew I came to the right place. Tommorrow we'll
start your training."
"Training?!" Everyone asked at once. Except Prime, who knew what
Wyrm-chan's concept of training was, and was trying his best to
disappear under the table.
***
Contributors/Stars:
Zen
Gary Kleppe
Ranchan
Eric Jones
Robin Smith
Belgaren
BobKat
Stargazer
Ken Arromdee
Webdragon
Numbski
Frosty-Usa
Jeremy T. Walker
Henry J. Cobb
Nightelf
David Row
Erin Mills
Megane 6.7
Magic Knight Kyone
Scriviner
J. D. Farber
Barry Cadwgan
Thomas R. Jeffrys (Wyrm)
Neil Carlberg
Ekisya
James Allen
And, of course, the one and only Prime Sagittarian, Alpha Centauri
Look for comments at the end of Section II
