Sagittarian Productions Present A Fred Defense Force Fic: Revenge Wars Part IV "Revenge's End" A long time ago, in a story far, far away. . . It is a period of civil war. Rebel authors, refusing to forsake their chosen craft, have won their first victory against the Anime Revengers. Defending their newly created pocket dimension, Fred, the Otakus managed to defeat the invading anime forces, and bring about a cease- fire, so that negotiations for peace could begin. But Dark Forces still rise against the outmatched authors, and if they, and the anime characters they write about are to survive, the source of the Revenges must be found. Working against time, a small group races to find their enemy, before Fred is invaded once more and the FFML silenced forever. . . *** Chapter I, "Prelude to Battle" The Prime Sagittarian stretched after lying down for what seemed like forever. He hated physicals with a passion, and he was relieved that this one was over. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Tofu asked as he examined the data on his medical tricorder. It had only taken him two weeks to become fully versed in Fred's advanced medical technology. "Well, at least I don't have to get poked and prodded like back on Earth, but it's still boring as hell." Wyrm-chan got up from the chair she had been sitting in. "Live with it." She looked over Tofu's shoulder at the tricorder. "How does it look?" "He's in excellent physical shape, much better than when he first arrived in MON." "Thanks to Madame drill sergeant over there." Prime muttered. Wyrm-chan ignored him. "That's good, but I'm more interested in the genetic test results." "Gee, thanks for your concern, Dee-chan." Wyrm-chan shot Prime a nasty look. Tofu sighed he thought to himself. He walked over to the big wall display and called up the genetic information for one Adam James Barnes, a.k.a. The Prime Sagittarian. "Well, according to the available data, Mr. Barnes here is most definitely exhibiting the mutant X-Factor. More specifically, he falls within the ESPer category." "I KNEW it!" Wyrm-chan beamed. "Wyrm owes me ten bucks!" "Is that all?" Prime asked, anxious to leave. "Unfortunately, no." Tofu continued. Wyrm-chan's smile dissolved, and Prime's face took on an expression of vague apprehension. Tofu continued. "Mr. Barnes' ability with respect to computers and electronic devices is well documented, and appears stable. However the Neurological scan indicates that his psionic energy output is steadily increasing, and other abilities may soon manifest themselves. More worrisome, his psionic energy output is _extremely_ unstable." "What do you mean, _unstable_?" Prime asked nervously. "It means there is very little regulating your powers. If left unchecked, you could begin to experience 'power surges', which could induce neurological shock, brain damage or even kill you outright." "Oh, is that all?" Prime croaked. "What can we do about it?" Wyrm-chan asked. Tofu brought up another display, this one of complicated circuit patterns. "This is a schematic for a neural limiter. It was originally designed to help extremely powerful ESPers control their abilities, but it should also serve to control Mr. Barnes' surges in psionic output. Although I don't expect him to start having difficulty in this area for some time, it would probably be a good idea to start using the limiter now." Wyrm-chan nodded, glad there was a solution. "That thing looks right up Erin's alley. I'll get him to work out something." Prime examined the circuitry displayed. He mentally queried the computer for more information, and received a flood of information. His initial fear that the device would numb his abilities were dispelled. Still... "Doc, if I'm not totally off, doesn't this thing only kick in for output in the Psi 8 range and higher?" Tofu nodded. "Yes. I didn't realize you were versed in neuro-circuitry design." Prime grinned. "I wasn't until a second ago." "Ah... yes, your 'talent'. You are correct, of course. However, if your psionic spikes were limited to the Psi 8 range, we wouldn't have such a problem. However, the neuro-scans indicate that surges to Psi 20 are possible." Prime blanched. Wyrm-chan was confused at his reaction; She wasn't well versed in this particular psionic measuring scale. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I'm afraid I'm not sure what that means." "Let me explain." Prime said. "The Psi scale is a general measure of psionic output that works for all types of ESPers. A Psi 1 to 3 is normal human. Psi 0 is a special case. Psi 4 is where abilities begin to manifest themselves. Featherweight telekinetics, people with extreme sensitivity to the moods and emotions of others, etc. Psi 8 is where the real power starts to kick in. Telekinetics can lift their own weight, telepaths can not only read thoughts, but broadcast their own, even to non-telepaths. Precogs can start making accurate predictions. I'm about a Psi 6" "Psi 7, now." Tofu replied. "So what is a Psi 20 capable of?" Wyrm-chan asked. "Psi 20 kinetics can lift literally tons." Prime continued. "Around Psi 12, Telepaths can not only read and broadcast, but alter. They can also cause catastrophic overloads in the minds of others through something call a Psi-blast. A Psi 20 can kill with them. The victim even manifests physical burns when their neural pathways superheat." "Ouch." Wyrm-chan said. "Do we have anyone at Psi 20?" "A few." Tofu said. "But ESPers at that level are rare. I have an information file on the subject, if you'd like." He handed her a data chip. "Thank you." Wyrm-chan replied. "Ada... Prime, you know more about neurolimiters than I do, you handle that end." Prime nodded. Before he could leave, Wyrm-chan caught his shoulder. "Oh, by the way, they need you over in the Fred defense control center, to work out some of the bugs in the targeting software. Grab some things from your quarters, because you'll be bunking there for a few days." "Oh perfect." Prime griped. "Who needs Club Med? I've got the Snooze Cafe!" "Look, I know it isn't as much fun as slicing into Genom's computer system, but it's just as important." Wyrm-chan replied. "Why don't you just get Alpha to do it?" Wyrm-chan scowled for a moment. "I've got... different plans for him. I'm sure you can handle it." "But...!" "Now GO!" Wyrm-chan gave him a rough shove, sending him on his way. She left the infirmary herself, popping the data chip into a reader as she walked. The file was called "ESPers: A Proper Care and Feeding Guide.", and had a wealth of information on the needs of particular ESPers. For instance, Telepaths of Psi 9 or better required special shielding around their quarters, otherwise they would unconsciously tune into the dreams of the sleepers in adjacent rooms. That could become an eventual problem with Adam, especially since Alpha could access those dreams through him. She didn't particularly want the HentA.I. poking around her unconscious mind. She reminded herself. Ever since his A.I. other had claimed his usual handle, Adam had been miserable. Wyrm-chan had never met anyone who despised their own name so much! Finally, he settled on using 'Prime', from his title as 'The Prime Sagittarian'. She thought it was a little goofy, but she also believed it calling people by the names they wanted to be called by. She shut down the reader and returned her thoughts to a problem that had been nagging her for some time. By now everyone knew that there was definitely a central force behind the revenges. Both Prime and Skywise had reported references to it, and Nightelf had actually been attacked by it directly. The big problem, now that they knew about it, was _finding_ it. Wyrm had tried a Chronometric scan, reasoning that anything that powerful would stand out like a huge neon sign say "Over here!". Unfortunately, whoever this (?) was, it had used the exact same signature cloaking techniques that Wyrm had used for MON, rendering even a rough estimate of its location impossible. As far as Wyrm-chan was concerned, there was only one person who would know where (?) was. Unfortunately, Wyrm was scared stiff of her. She made her way to one of MON's numerous Holodecks. She was surprised to find that it was in use. "Durandal, who is presently in Holodeck 15, and what is the current program?" "THE CURRENT PROGRAM RUNNING IN HOLODECK 15 IS WYRM CALISTHENICS PROGRAM ONE. CURRENT USER IS ADMIN-WYRM." "Oh, well then he won't mind me joining him." Wyrm-chan overrode the privacy lock and entered the holodeck. Just inside the entrance was a rack of weapons, and she selected a simple staff. The program was set on a nonspecific rocky plain, with a number of crevasses and ridges to hide behind. The sounds of battle were a short distance away, over a nearby ridge. Wyrm-chan crested the ridge and saw Wyrm fighting with four opponents, using the same staff that she had selected. Wyrm-chan thought. Then, with a yell, she attacked the nearest holo-opponent. Wyrm was startled by her sudden arrival, and his current opponent nearly managed to get a good hit in, but he recovered fast. Wyrm-chan bashed her first opponent, relying on brute strength and reveling in being able to flex her half-zoalord muscles freely. The creature's skull caved in bloodlessly, and it dissolved in a shower of sparkles. The next she used a combination of lighting fast strikes, finally tripping up her adversary and slamming the butt end of her staff into it's head, ending its holographic life. She looked up to see that Wyrm had finished his too opponents, although non-lethally. "Playing Keh'lyr to my Worf, Wyrm-chan?" he asked, leaning on his staff. "Of course, Wyrm-sama." She said in a low, husky voice, slowly advancing on Wyrm. "And I do believe they had a _very_ good idea concerning a victory celebration." Wyrm's ponytail stiffened (as did something else), and his lavender- rimmed glasses fogged up. "Uhh, I don't think that's such a good idea, Dee-chan. I mean, with the war and all... this just isn't a good time!" He finished desperately. Wyrm-chan thought. "Oh well, if you're going to be such a prude." She sighed, exaggerating the act so that her already tight-fitting jumpsuit strained across her chest. Wyrm swallowed hard, but managed to keep his composure. "Is that the only reason you butted in on my training?" He asked, suddenly annoyed that she had turned a semi-challenging fight into a cakewalk. "Not really." Wyrm-chan replied. "I wanted to talk to you about this (?) problem." "No, absolutely not!" "What?!" Wyrm crossed his arms. "You are NOT conducting a raid of Washuu's lab, and that's final!" "But Wyrm-sama, we KNOW that she knows where (?) is! You know its just a matter of time before Washuu locks onto Fred anyway. Even with the new defenses and recruits, we'll be badly outnumbered. We have to do something NOW!" Wyrm shook his head. "Washuu would eat MONforce for breakfast, and you know it!" He walked over to Wyrm-chan to gripped her shoulders. "We'll find another way, Dee-chan, I promise you that! But I can't allow you to risk MONforce like that, not now. Promise me you won't do something stupid." "I... promise I won't take MONforce into a raid on Washuu." Wyrm-chan said reluctantly. "Good." Wyrm said, shouldering his staff. "I've got a lot of work to do now. I'll see you later, okay?" "Okay, Wyrm-sama." She said unenthusiastically. She watched him leave, then reset the calisthenics program. She thought, smashing her first opponent. *** Frosty-Usa walked along the corridor to the simulator room. She caught a few looks from some of the male engineers working there, and smiled a little to herself: They didn't recognize her, or rather, who she was supposed to look like. Frosty had been dunked in the spring of drowned Chibi-Usa, and was locked in that form. After she had proceeded to create Fred as a refuge, she decided to deal with her physical situation. Being stuck as a little girl had some serious disadvantages. The gender she couldn't change. Whatever method they had used to lock her, even Naniichuan wouldn't undo. But the age she could fix. Fred was temporally accelerated, compared to the "real" world, which meant years passed on Fred in the span of minutes on Earth. However, Frosty-Usa had established an anti-cellular degenaeration field in her pocket universe to slow everyone's aging to Earth standard levels, which meant that even though they would experience centuries on Fred, they would only age the few minutes that had passed on Earth. But she didn't establish it right away. Before she opened Fred as a sanctuary she spent time studying her creation, ensuring that she could support all the incoming authors without hurting the ecosystem. In that time she grew up, and when she finally did establish the anti-aging field, she was physically 21. The effect was rather stunning, even if she did say so herself. If Frosty-Usa was any indicator, Chibi-Usa was going to grow up to be absolutely stunning. Frosty had taken to wearing her hair down (The pigtails just didn't suit her) and kept to modest clothing, even though she had the figure for more flattering attire. She _was_ still a man after all, mentally if nothing else. At least, that's what she believed. As it was she still got numerous propositions from the male populace, even from those who knew about her condition. The simulator room was often described as 'The Video Arcade', which wasn't too far from the truth. Along one wall was a full bank of Veritech simulators, enough for two squadrons. There was a full bar, as well as a huge flat-panel display, so that the other pilots could watch the simulation in progress. There were a few other items, including a fooseball table, a couple of pool tables and a mini-gym. It served as a training facility, pilot's lounge and recreation center for Fred's veritech squadrons, and the pilots spent most of their time here. Even the pilots from the Super Dimensional Fortresses and the _Yamato_ had taken to frequenting the place. A young man with close-cropped black hair sitting at one of the tables noticed her and waved her over. Frosty-Usa waved back and joined him. "So, Numbski, how is the pilot selection going?" She asked, ordering a drink from one of the waiterbots. The leader of the Otaku Knights Veritech Squadron sighed and leaned his chin on his fist. "Sloooow. I've already selected Ekisya as my wingsecond, but the rest of the squadron..." he trailed off. "I'm just worried that I might make a bad pick and get someone killed." "Don't worry so much." Frost-Usa chided him. "You'll make the right choice, because you know what your pilots need to survive. That's why I chose you for Squadron Commander." She cocked her head. "Just out of curiosity, are you considering animate candidates? Not to try and influence your decision, but having a few of them in the squadron would make alliance negotiations go a lot smoother." Numbski nodded. "I have a few on my list, although not because of that." He pinned Frosty-Usa with a I-Hate-Bureaucracy-And-You-Should-Too look. "Arisa Mitamura is a possibility. She's got the flying experience, and she takes to just about any weapons system like no one I've ever seen. But she's a little too uncontrolled. Strangely enough, Nabiki Tendo is also in the running." Frosty-Usa raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding. I never figured Nabiki to be the pilot type." Numbski shrugged. "I know, but one day she simply showed up for flying lessons, and I put her in with the rest of the group. She blew the top off the spacial acuity test, by the way. I figure its a hereditary thing, part of what made her father and sister such good martial artists." He took a quick swig of his drink. "I'm worried about her, though. In the simulators and test flights she's always flown ice-cold. No mistakes, ever. But I KNOW she's in this as a personal revenge for what happened to Akane, and I don't know what'll happen once she goes up against the Pfhor for real." Frosty-Usa nodded. She looked up at the wall monitor and noticed that it was causing a fair bit of commotion. It seemed there was a heated dogfight in progress. "Oh, great!" numbski said angrily, watching as a blue Vertiech began shooting down everything else on the screen. "Max Sterling snuck into the simulator again!" He finished off his drink and stood up. "Excuse me, Madame Mayor, but I gotta go pull him out before he vapes all my cadets again." Numbski stalked off to the simulators, leaving Frosty-Usa to finish her drink alone. *** After the incident with Mike Loader and the stolen Plot Hole, Fred's defenses had been decimated. The Eye of Harmony power station had been completely destroyed, and the information and power infrastructure that had powered and controlled the ion cannons and defensive shields had been severed in a dozen places. Repairs had begun, and thanks to Fred's accelerated time relative to the 'real' world, good progress had been made. Stargazer and his horde of Otaku Engineers were rapidly rebuilding the power station and the power grid, with numerous improvements to prevent a repeat of the last battle. In addition, the huge multi-story ion cannons were being equipped with independent backup power and control systems. Gary Kleppe, although unwilling to build weapons, proved adept at force shield mechanics, and set to work with a small team rebuilding and improving the shield grid, modifying it to take advantage of the increase in available power. Barry Cadwgan took on the thankless task of rebuilding the Fred compound itself, trying to rebuild the infrastructure and get it to work with the other two projects. Unfortunately, with the damage to Fred's barracks, and the sudden influx of Otakus and Animates, quarters were getting a little _tight_. Prime became very aware of this situation as he now shared his new quarters with Zen, Webdragon, Kyone, Ukyou, Nene and Priss of the Knight Sabers and Kei and Yuri of the Dir... Lovely Angels. The first two were fellow authors, and good ones at that, so he got along well with them. Ukyou and Priss hated his guts, simply due to his connection to Wyrm and his plot holes, which was a little uncomfortable. Nene he had difficulty reading (despite his alleged psi abilities) which was probably due to the Cute Redhead Subroutine more than anything else. It was Kei and Yuri he had a problem with. Well, Yuri wasn't so bad. She tended to leave him alone as long as he did the same, which was fine with him. It was KEI that was the problem. Evidently Prime's insane A.I. counterpart had hit on Kei relentlessly when she first arrived, which was normal for him when an attractive red-haired female was involved. Unfortunately, someone informed Kei of the connection between Alpha Centauri and The Prime Sagittarian, and so she decided that since she couldn't really get revenge directly on the computer program, she would make its human counterpart's life a living hell. Kei's favorite trick was keeping Prime female, no matter how hard he tried to change back. Water balloons, buckets of cold water perched on doors, sabotaged tea kettles, the list was endless. He had just been a victim of one of these attacks as he, Webdragon, Zen and Kyone entered Fred's communal dining hall, and _she_ was in a rotten mood. "Look, Prime, how long can she keep this up?" Webdragon said, trying to cheer her up. "I mean, she can't keep a grudge forever, right?" Zen shook his head. "I wouldn't count on it, friend. I have considerable personal experience in that area. But at least you don't need to use boiling water to change back!" Zen had a few complications from the nanotech that the 3WA academy had injected into him to accelerate his healing. Now his Jusenkyo curse required extreme temperatures to return him to normal. Prime-chan sulked even more. "Yeah, great. What do you think, should I kill Wyrm-chan first, for assigning me here, Kei for making my life a living hell, or Alpha for starting this whole mess?" Zen leaned over to Webdragon. "I'm curious. Would killing Alpha constitute suicide?" Webdragon was rubbing his temple, looking distracted, like he had a migraine. For a second Zen could have sworn Webdragon had fangs. "Webdragon?" "Huh? Oh... sorry. What was the question?" Webdragon rubbed his eyes. "If Prime killed Alpha, could it be considered suicide?" "No, it would be a community service." Webdragon said with a grin. A normal, human grin that is, with human teeth. Zen chalked the vision of fangs up to hunger, but part of his mind filed it away for later reference. "You're taking this way too seriously." Kyone said to Prime-chan. "I mean, it's not THAT bad being a girl, is it?" "Yeah, well so far you've managed to avoid 'that time of the month', haven't you? Do you realize how close I am? And Kei knows! She left a box of tampons outside my door yesterday!" They reached one of the food terminals, and Webdragon stepped up to make his selection. He was surprised when a deranged, 3-D happyface appeared on the screen. "*Whadaya want?*" The A.I. asked grumpily. Webdragon looked over his shoulder at Prime-chan. "Ohh Priiime? You wanted to talk with Alpha?" Prime-chan spotted the HentA.I., walked up to the terminal, expression blank. "*Adam! Oh, thank GOD you're here! Wyrm-chan locked me into the food service system!! I'm stuck playing short-order cook! You gotta help me!*" "What did you do to Kei?" Prime-chan asked quietly. "*Huh?*" Prime-chan looked up. There was murder in her eyes. "I have been stuck female ever since I reached the surface, thanks to Kei, because _you_ did something to piss her off. Now you have exactly five seconds to tell me what it was before I splice your worthless bitmap into a game of pong!!" Kyone back away from the enraged Otaku. "Methinks we should find another way to get lunch." He said to Webdragon and Zen. "Methinks you're right." Webdragon replied. They left the dining hall, doing their best to look like they didn't know the young red haired woman reaming out the food service terminal, and entered the building directly across from it, which was marked by a large sign saying 'Akies'. Evidently the first thing Akiko Natsume had done when the cease-fire had been called was to enter negotiations with Frosty to open a branch of her wildly successful family restaurant. Frosty agreed (for a percentage, of course). Of course, the food at the dining hall was free, Akies was not. However, the dining hall was ugly, the food was bad without exception, and not all the holes in the roof were fixed yet (Including a really big one made when an Invid mecha crashed through the roof and onto the chicken soup machine). At Akies, Kasumi, Makoto, Kyoko and Belldandy did the cooking, so the food was literally divine. As for decor... well, since the waitressing was done by Nuku Nuku, Lum, A-ko, Akari, Yohko and Ayako Mano and the remainder of the Sailor Senshi, most patrons didn't pay much attention to the decor, although it was assumed to be nice. It was a Male Chauvinist Pig's paradise, and most female authors couldn't stand to get within twelve meters of the place. Akiko had answered their complaints by opening another branch on the other side of the compound with an all beefcake staff from the casts of Fatal Fury, Street Fighter II, etc. When Ryouga started working there, it was reported that Kun-chan flat-out refused to leave. No one seemed to care that both restaurants charged an arm and a leg. "Welcome to Akies!" Nuku Nuku said brightly. "A table for three?" "Four." Zen replied. "We have someone else coming. I think." "One table for four." Nuku Nuku said. "This way, please!" They followed Nuku Nuku to a booth and sat. Noticing that just about every male eye in the adjoining booths was locked on the cat-girl. "I'll be back in just a moment to take your order." She said and bounded off to another table. Despite the small immunity granted to them by their female forms, the three authors were barely able to tear their eyes away. "I LOVE this place!" Webdragon said, leaning back and folding his hands behind his head. "Maybe Mishima will open a branch in my home town when we get back?" "Not very likely." Kyone replied. "Although I've been spending the last few months fighting Youmas as a Magic Knight, so what do I know?" The door to the restaurant opened again, and a wet, steaming and once more male Prime walked through. He looked generally annoyed at everything. Nuku Nuku intercepted him before he could make his way to the booth. "Welcome to Akies!" Suddenly confronted with the buxom young redhead, Prime's annoyance dissolved into a goofy grin. One could almost hear the click as the Cute Redhead Subroutine kicked in. "Uhh... huh huh... hi." "Table for one?" Nuku Nuku asked cheerfully. Some small part of Prime's brain struggled to the surface to remind him that his friends were here already, and he should sit with them. The fact that they were waving at him frantically may have helped. "No... friends..." "Oh! You're the friend those nice gentlemen were waiting for. Right this way." Nuku Nuku lead the brain-fried author to the table occupied by his friends. "I'll be back in just a second to take your order." Nuku Nuku said. Prime just stared as she walked away, until she passed out of his line of sight. As soon as that happened, his eyes abruptly unglazed, and he blinked. It was like someone had thrown a light switch. Prime sat down and dropped his head into his hands. "God that was pathetic!" "Yup." Webdragon said cheerfully. "What is it with you and cute redheads?" Kyone asked. "Any other female and you're reasonably coherent, but put you within twenty feet of a redhead and you turn into a gibbering moron!" "I know." Prime said miserably. "Bloody Cute Redhead Subroutine!" "I thought that was Alpha's problem." "It's one of the few things we have in common." "One question." Zen said. "I've noticed that this 'Cute Redhead Subroutine' thing isn't universal. For instance, you seem okay around Wyrm-chan." Prime sat up and sighed. "That's cuz I know her, and I've been around her long enough to build up an immunity. That and the fact that I know I haven't got a prayer with her." "She's still chasing after Wyrm, huh?" Webdragon asked. "Yup." "Well, what about Kei, then?" Kyone asked. "You don't seem to be affected by her. Pretty much the opposite, actually." Prime scowled. "Hah! That uncute tomboy? It'd take a LOT of plastic surgery before she'd set off the Cute Redhead Subroutine! She's built like a fardling brick!" Zen, Webdragon and Kyone traded half a dozen looks or so. This sounded awfully familiar. Nuku Nuku returned, causing Prime's brain to seize up again. "Are you ready to order?" "Duh..." Prime replied, drooling a little. "Ummm... nothing for me. I have no money." Webdragon said. Kyone looked sharply at Webdragon. Webdragon had just recently won a rather large sum from Kyone concerning the outcome of a recent game of Gravity Ball between Stargazer and Barry Cadwgan's engineering teams. He even remembered the look on Webdragon's face as he accepted the credit chit for six thousand yen. It was hungry, almost... draconic? "Three burger plate specials." Zen said. Considering the prices, it was all they could afford. Especially poor Kyone, after that bet. "Three specials. Will that be all?" "For now, yeah." "Thank you very much. I'll be right back with your order." Nuku Nuku turned and walked off. As soon as she was out of sight Prime snapped back to normal. "You seem worse than usual today." Webdragon commented to Prime. "It's the waitressing outfit." Prime sighed. "It is kinda _tight_, isn't it?" Kyone said. Prime nodded, then immediately zoned out as A-ko walked by the table on her way to help a customer. Zen sighed. "I don't think we should bring him here anymore." Zen said. He scanned the restaurant idly, waiting for Prime's brain to return from vacation. He abruptly forgot about the hacker, though, when he spied Ukyou. Seeing a non-employee female in this Branch of Akies was unusual enough, but seeing Ukyou anywhere outside of Alliance negotiations with Frosty was almost unheard of. Technically she was assigned to the same dorm as Zen and his friends, but she usually left before anyone woke up, and returned late at night. Allegedly, she was off training every free minute she had. Most people knew about Ranma's death, and that it had affected her deeply. But no one really understood what she was going through. Not like Zen did. He made a split second decision, and stood up to leave. Prime abruptly snapped out of his trance, even though A-ko was still visible. Wordlessly Zen walked over to Ukyou's table. "What the hell is he doing?!" Kyone hissed. A lot of other authors had approached Ukyou in the past week. A few of them had even regained consciousness. He got up to stop Zen, but halted when Prime caught his arm. Webdragon simply stayed silent. "Leave him. He knows what he's doing." Prime said. "At least, he thinks he does." Kyone grumbled, but sat down. "Fine. But I get his stereo!" Webdragon looked quizzically at Prime. As soon as Zen had stood up an odd expression had crossed Prime's face. Prime took a swig of ice water and muttered. "I guess I'll have to go see Erin sooner than I thought." Zen walked up to the table, trying to smile in a friendly, non-threatening way. "Do you mind if I join you?" "Do whatever the hell you like." Ukyou said quietly, never lifting her eyes from her tea. Zen sat down, ignoring the sudden gust of frigid air emanating from the brown-haired girl. "I haven't seen you around the dorm much." "I didn't feel much like socializing." Ukyou replied. "I still don't." Zen knew a thinly veiled request to scram when he heard it. He also didn't pay much attention to them. He remembered what this was like, and the _last_ thing Ukyou wanted was to be alone. "Ucch... Ukyou, let me tell you a story. A long time ago... well, it seems like a long time, there was a young man who was happily married. Everything in his life seemed to be going right. But something happened, and everything fell apart. I... he lost her, and everything came crashing down. He figured he was alone, and always would be." "Is there a point to this story?" Ukyou said coldly. "Or is it like all the rest of your fables?" Zen blinked. "That's unfair, Ukyou." "Is it?" Ukyou asked, finally looking up. "This little story is just a lie, a fable to get me to trust you. What, have you got a bet running on how long it'll take before you end up in the sack with me? How much have you got riding on this?" Zen's expression hardened. "Ukyou, look me in the eye, carefully. _Now_ tell me I'm lying." Ukyou looked him in the eye. She registered surprise for a moment, then a little shame. "Oh. I'm... sorry." "It's understandable." Zen said, eyes softening. "By the way, the point of the story is that you're not alone. Priss, Nene, Nabiki, Kasumi, they share your loss. You shouldn't shut them out." Ukyou shook her head. "No, I'm the outsider. Nabiki, Kasumi, they're sisters. Nene and Priss are practically the same. The only person I had was... Ranma." Ukyou returned her gaze to her tea. "There's me." Zen said hopefully. Ukyou shook her head. "I'm just... not ready to reopen that particular wound, Zen. Please, I'd like to be alone." Zen got up regretfully. "I understand. When you're ready, you know where you can find me." He returned to the booth and sat down. "What gives?" Kyone said. "How come you're still in one piece?" "Who said I was to begin with?" Zen said quietly. *** Shallow 15 was every mad scientist's dream. It was temporally accelerated, the same as Fred (a new feature), and was stocked with everything you needed to conduct insane experiments, minus the maniacal laugh (It was still on mail order). Erin was quite happy to make his contribution to the Author Liberation Front by puttering around Shallow 15 and whipping up whatever devices, chemicals, etc. that they needed. Except Ukyou clones, of course. No Ukyou clones. None. Not under ANY circumstances. The portal in the corner flared to life, and a young man with reddish- brown hair stepped through. Erin looked up from his current experiment. "Prime! What's up?" Erin stood up and walked over to his friend. Behind him the experiment he was working on blew up. Erin turned around to look at the small crater. "Gee, I guess I should have used a little less anti-hydrogen." He returned his attention to Prime. "So what's up? This a social visit, or do you need something?" Prime rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Umm, you know that special 'equipment' I asked you to whip up? It looks like I might need it sooner than I thought." "Really?" Erin asked as he cleaned up his mess. "Why? What happened?" "Well, I'm not sure exactly what happened, but today I caught an image from Zen's mind." Erin raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating. I didn't think you were supposed to be able to do that for some time now." "Me too." Prime replied. "It wasn't specific or concrete. Just a feeling, a really strong one I guess. But it was there." Erin grinned. "Well, luckily for you I finished your order yesterday." He disappeared into a back room, where he rummaged around. "The neuro- circuitry was fairly easy to incorporate into the suit. The suit itself was dead simple. It was the accessory that was the challenge." Erin emerged carrying a blue suit of body armor. "Go ahead, try it on." Prime took the suit and went into a back room to change. After a few minutes he emerged. Prime was now decked out in full Guardian body armor, complete with the ebony boots and silver wrist bracers. The only deviation was the circular icon on the left side which normally had a mainframe diamond was instead occupied by a suspiciously familiar happyface. There was only one thing missing. "You said you had some trouble with the 'accessory'?" Prime asked, adjusting the suit. "No, I said it was a challenge." Erin replied. He brought a small blue box out from behind his back. "Once I solved the mass-expansion problem, the rest was easy." He handed it to Prime. "It's fully functional?" Prime asked incredulously. He studied the keytool then placed it against his left arm bracer. It immediately attached itself with s soft whirr. "Of course." Erin replied, a little put off. "I don't do half measures. Give it a try." Prime lifted his arm, concentrating on the keytool. "Glitch, scanner." The keytool reconfigured itself, the small circular display angling up and stretching out. A standard tricorder readout appeared. "Glitch, pulse-blaster." The keytool reconfigured itself into a small, wrist- mounted weapon. Prime aimed it experimentally. "Careful with that!" Erin admonished. Prime sheepishly put his arm down. As soon as his attention was off the keytool, it reverted to its standard form. "Now, there's a few things you need to know. First off, the neuro- limiter is self powering. It runs off your psionic energy output, so no batteries are needed. Second, the suit is based off Wyrm's standard morph suit, so it'll automatically reconfigure itself if you get splashed. You can also cloak it to look like whatever you want, so you don't have to take it off if you want civvies. Third, watch the keytool's power, it's limited. Energy weapons or devices requiring a large mass expansion eat up power the fastest." Prime nodded. He grinned. "Erin, you've got my vote for coolest scientist of the year." His face fell. "Uhh, about the payment..." "Forget it." Erin replied. "Frosty funds all my research. I just have fun whipping all this stuff up. You're not my only client, you know." Erin paused for a moment. "Actually, there is something you could to for me, with that talent with computers of yours." "Shoot." "Well, it's easier if I show you. Max?" "YES, DAVE?" "See?" Erin said. "He calls everyone 'Dave'. EVERYONE. After a while it gets annoying." Prime nodded. "I'll see what I can do." He closed his eyes, concentrating. He reached out and touched the computer's mind. After a quick examination, he regretfully withdrew. "Sorry, Erin." He said, opening his eyes. "The 'Dave' thing is rooted in his core personality file. If I start diddling with that he could end up trying to blow you out an airlock or something." "Damn." Erin muttered. "I guess for $19.95, I should be willing to live with a few bugs." "IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG, DAVE?" Max asked, in a voice and tone that _exactly_ matched Hal's. Prime shuddered. "I think I'll be going, now." Prime said. He thanked Erin again and exited through the portal. Erin sighed as Prime vanished into the portal. Coolest scientist? Ha, if they only knew. Erin had about as much scientific background as the common garden snail. He had absolutely no clue what he was doing when he built a device or created a chemical compound. And, yet, somehow, it always worked perfectly. Always. He couldn't understand it. No matter how haphazardly he built anything, no matter how rushed, no matter if 80% of the thing was cobbled together from junk swiped from the dumpster behind Radio Shack, it always worked. Erin chalked this up to the First Law of Weird Science: "Any idiot can do it." It was also handy to remember the Second and Third Laws of Weird Science, however, when giving the devices to someone else: "But don't let anyone KNOW that any idiot can do it," and "If they ask how it works, come up with some pseudo-scientific gobbledy gook to throw them off." Erin had mastered the Three Laws perfectly. Law Three was particularly easy. As McCoy might have put it, Erin was a theater major, not a scientist. The pseudo-scientist reached into a pocket of his leather jacket that hung on a coat rack near the "official" entrance to Shallow 15, and pulled out a small book entitled "Forrester's Pocket Dictionary of Scientific Terms." "Max?" "YES, DAVE?" Erin rolled his eyes. "CyberScrabble, please." Max's screen cleared and brought up a digitized Scrabble board. "Take the transcript of my conversation with Prime, extract all words from it that match up with Forrester's Pocket Dictionary of Scientific Terms, place them on the board and give me a score." In seconds, several dozen letter tiles were placed upon the board, criss crossing it's area several times. "CURRENT CYBERSCRABBLE SCORE: 1500" "Well, that's not a bad start for the afternoon..." Erin was about to return to his other work when the portal flared again. This time Webdragon stepped through "Hey, 2.5." Webdragon said. "I assume you're here for your order?" Erin replied. "Yeah." Erin went into the back and returned with another suit of body armor, this one red. He handed it to Webdragon, who went into the back to change. A few minutes later, he emerged. The suit was similar in some respects to Prime's. Certainly it had the same protective qualities, but it's function was vastly different. It was a deep scarlet, with maroon highlights. On the left breast was a circle, with a dragon's face in the center. The wrist bracers were slightly thicker than Prime's, with three circular openings just above the wrist. Webdragon examined the suit. "So, will it do what I asked?" "Well, it's a little more... feral than I'm used to. But, yes, it's fully functional." Webdragon smiled rather predatorially and clenched his right fist. With a steely *shing*, three long claws snapped out of the circular openings and locked into position. They hummed, and glowed with a faint blue aura. "I had a problem configuring the molecular separation field to envelop the blades, but it was just a matter of figuring out how to keep the field from overextending past the point. Simple, really. Still, there is one glitch still in the system." "What's the problem?" "Instead of cutting through five inches of steel like "hot butter", like you asked, it will slice through ten inches of synthetic diamond with the same ease. If you give me another day, I'm sure I can correct the problem." Webdragon's jaw dropped. He quickly recovered. "I think I'll live with it the way it is. What about the other function I requested?" "You mean the multi-wave thermoptic camouflage, plus the phase distortion device?" "Uhhh..." "The phase-cloak." "Yeah, that." "They work very well. I was already developing a ship-mounted version for Wyrm, and miniaturization wasn't a problem. However, power consumption is rather high. The cloak by itself will function for about an hour before the suit's power is completely drained, and for 20 minutes in conjunction with the phase distortion. Mind you, that's assuming the suit has a full charge." "Yes! Thank you Erin!" Webdragon clapped the mad scientist on the shoulder and left through the portal, wearing his new armor like a badge of pride. Erin was about to return to work when he noticed something on the white work table. Something reddish-brown. One of Prime's hairs. Erin picked up the hair and examined it. "Hmm. Follicle is intact." That meant live DNA. Erin considered for a moment. He grinned and went into the part of the lab where he kept all of his really super-secret equipment. *** "PRIME!! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, PRIME!! COME OUT!!!" Webdragon-chan waited, then pounded the bathroom door again. "Damnit, Prime, if you use all the hot water again... PRIME!!" "Well, you could always share." A voice said behind her. Webdragon-chan turned to see Kei and Yuri. Kei had that grin on her face that generally meant nothing good. "What the hell are you talking about?!" "You don't have to be coy with me, Web-chan. I know that this adversarial routine is just an act. I see how you two look at each other." "WHAT?!" Webdragon-chan howled. "Are you NUTS?!" "Methinks the lady doth protest too much." Yuri said, leering. "Go on in, Web-chan, I'm SURE he'll be glad to see you." Kei said, patting Webdragon-chan roughly on the back. Webdragon was about to blow up when she thought of a better way. "Oh, you're right Kei," Webdragon-chan said, turning up the Kawaii factor several notches. "We've tried to hide it, but it's obviously no use with two detectives like you around." "What?!" Kei and Yuri said, their jaws dropping. "*WHAT?!*" Prime screamed from the shower. Obviously he had been listening. "But we need advice, and you two are probably the ones to ask." Webdragon-chan continued. "How do you find acceptance in a world that despises alternative couples?" "Huh?" Kei said, looking confused. "Why are you asking us?" "Well, isn't it _obvious_?" Webdragon-chan said, fighting the urge to smirk. "You and Yuri... well, you've stayed together no matter what people have said." Kei and Yuri immediately turned beet red. Kei sputtered for a moment, then screamed. "WE ARE _NOT_ LESBIANS!!!" "Oh, so you like boys too, huh?" Webdragon-chan said, no longer fighting the grin. "What, do you share? I guess they call you the 'Dirty Pair' for a reason, huh?" "That's it, you're DEAD!!" Kei screamed, taking a swipe at Webdragon- chan. Webdragon-chan made a face and sprinted down the hall, two very angry trouble consultants behind him. In the shower Prime shook his head. He thought. His peace lasted for about thirty seconds. Then Webdragon-chan reached the dishwasher, which she turned on, directing all the hot water away from the shower. "Gotcha!" "YEEEEAAAAAAARGH!!!" *** Wyrm-chan arrived at the dorm, her face a mask of determination. She was about to knock when she heard a crash from inside, and some kind of battle cry. She didn't waste any time, smashing the door in and rushing to face... A black-haired girl ran past her at high speed, pursued by Yuri, carrying a shoulder mounted rocket launcher. "That's IT, Webdragon, you're finished!" Yuri cried, trying to get a bead on the quickly moving Otaku. Down the hall, more chaos could be heard. "C'mon, Kei, what's in a name? How _did_ you end up getting called 'The Dirty Pair'?" "DON'T SAY THAT NAME!!" "What? Dirty Pair? Dirty Pair Dirty Pair DIRTY PAIR!!" "That's IT!! You're DEAD, Prime!" There was an explosion, and a slightly singed red-haired girl wearing nothing but a towel ran past, hotly pursued by the red-haired member of the Lovely Angels." Through all this, Zen-chan was sitting on the couch, reading a manga and looking bored. She ducked slightly as a rocket from Yuri's launcher whizzed over her head, and returned to reading. "Did I come at a bad time?" Wyrm-chan asked, half joking. "Not really." Zen-chan replied, not looking up from her book. "This is pretty normal for a Monday night." Webdragon-chan scooted around the corner, back into the foyer and ducked in behind Wyrm-chan. Yuri skidded into view a second later and without checking her target fired the launcher. Everything seemed to slow to a crawl as the missile headed straight for Wyrm-chan. She stood still, and seemed unconcerned about the warhead rapidly approaching her head. At the last minute she threw up her hands and loosed a ki blast at the projectile, vaporizing it. The dorm was silent as the ashes of the missile slowly drifted to the ground. Everyone stared at Wyrm-chan. "I think that's quite enough." Wyrm-chan said. "I'll give you preschoolers five minutes to make yourselves presentable, then I want to talk to you about an urgent matter. "Y... yes ma'am." They all replied. "I said MOVE IT!!" *** Five minutes later, everyone was assembled around one of the few tables in the dorm that hadn't been smashed/crushed/blown to bits. Webdragon and Prime had returned to their male forms, and were both wearing the suits they had acquired from Erin. "Copycat." Prime grumbled. "What does that mean?" Webdragon hissed back. "You knew I was having Erin make this suit for me, and you just HAD to get one of your own, didn't you?" "What?! Hey, I didn't even know about your stupid suit. I hope you didn't pay too much for it." "What does that mean?" Webdragon smirked. "It's obviously inferior to mine. Definitely not worth all the time and money Erin put into it. I didn't even shell out a dime for this rig, and it's _far_ superior!" "I'll show you inferior!" Prime growled. "Glitch..." *shing*. Both of Webdragon's wolvers snapped out, humming dangerously, as was Prime's stubby but deadly blaster as it cycled up to full power. A look that could fry a tank to cinders passed between them. "Would you two PLEASE shut up?" Wyrm-chan said. Webdragon and Prime both blinked, then looked guilty. "Honestly, it's like I'm teaching a kindergarden class!" They reluctantly lowered their weapons, still staring daggers at each other. "So what is this all about?" Ukyou asked. "Before I tell you, I have to have your agreement that none of this leaves this room, regardless of what's decided." Everyone nodded. Priss waved her hand impatiently. "Can we get on with it already?" "We all know that there is definitely a central, cohesive force behind all the revenges." Wyrm-chan began. "We suspect that it had something to do with the Phfor showing up, although we can't confirm it." Priss, Nene and Ukyou looked surprised at this news. "You mean (?)" Webdragon said. "You know about (?)" Wyrm-chan asked, a little surprised. "Sure. It's all over Fred. He's the one we're really fighting, right?" "Right. However, finding (?) has proven very difficult." Wyrm-chan continued. "In fact, I believe there's only one way to find (?), and that is to get his location from someone who already knows it." "Washuu." Prime said. "Exactly. We have enough data from various testimony of animates to conclude that Washuu is the _only_ one who knows where (?) is." "And you want us to go with you to Washuu's lab." Zen-chan said. "Suicide was not in Zen's job description." "I'm not asking you to actually fight Washuu." Wyrm-chan replied. "The information will be in her computers. We'll jump in and inject Alpha Centauri into the computers. He and Prime get the data while we cover them, then we jump out. Simple." "Where Washuu is concerned?" Ukyou said. "Hardly. But if it means a chance to avenge Ranchan, then I'm in." Priss and Nene immediately seconded the sentiment. "Not that I'm trying to dampen everyone's enthusiasm," Prime said, leaning back in his chair. "But why aren't you using MONforce for this, Wyrm-chan?" "This isn't a sanctioned mission." Wyrm-chan replied. "Wyrm deemed it too dangerous, and I promised him I wouldn't take MONforce in." She looked seriously at Prime. "Adam, I can't order you to take this mission. Technically, as part of MONforce, you should be automatically exempt. I'm sure Nene can do the data extraction, if need be." Prime snorted. "From Washuu's computer system? Yeah, right. She wouldn't last twenty seconds in there and you know it." Prime caught a glimpse of Nene's expression and realized what he had just said. "Does that mean you're in?" Wyrm-chan asked. Prime nodded reluctantly. If he refused now, he would look even worse in Nene's eyes. "What about his other half?" Kei said. "I doubt he would come along willingly." "Let me handle him." Prime replied. "Oh, so NOW you do something about him?" Kei said accusingly. "I though he was 'totally out of your control'. Isn't that what you said?" Prime narrowed his eyes. "Well, you two make such a cute couple that I didn't want to interfere." "Prime, Kei, enough!" Wyrm-chan interrupted. "Kei, put down the Bloody Card, he's no good to us in bits." Wyrm-chan fixed Prime with a nasty look. "You can use it on him _after_." Kei crossed her arms. "Well then, I'm going, if only to ensure that this jerk lives long enough for me to kill him!" "What did I do?" Prime asked. Yuri sighed. "If Kei's going, then I am too." Zen-chan glanced at Ukyou, then made up her mind. "I'm going too." Webdragon exchanged a look with Kyone. "Whadaya think?" "If we don't go, we'll look like wimps." "If we _do_ go, we'll look like charcoal briquettes!" "Flip a coin?" "Sure. Heads we go, tails we stay." Kyone pulled out a coin and flipped it. It landed heads up. "Best two out of three?" Webdragon asked sheepishly. Wyrm-chan smiled. "I knew I came to the right place. Tommorrow we'll start your training." "Training?!" Everyone asked at once. Except Prime, who knew what Wyrm-chan's concept of training was, and was trying his best to disappear under the table. *** Contributors/Stars: Zen Gary Kleppe Ranchan Eric Jones Robin Smith Belgaren BobKat Stargazer Ken Arromdee Webdragon Numbski Frosty-Usa Jeremy T. Walker Henry J. Cobb Nightelf David Row Erin Mills Megane 6.7 Magic Knight Kyone Scriviner J. D. Farber Barry Cadwgan Thomas R. Jeffrys (Wyrm) Neil Carlberg Ekisya James Allen And, of course, the one and only Prime Sagittarian, Alpha Centauri Look for comments at the end of Section II