[FFML] [repost] [Animal Crossing] A Typical Day

[Robert Atendido]

So.  Seeing that Nintendo has released an upgrade for Animal Crossing on the 3DS, and that there’s a new Westworld TV show on HBO, I felt the need to dig this one-shot out of the archives…

Oideyo Doubutsu no Mori/Animal Crossing: Wild World is owned by
Nintendo. Concepts and characters are used here without permission.

***************

It started out as such a normal day.

I woke up at the usual time, hopped out of bed, ignored my comatose
roommate -- such a poor kid! -- and ran out of the house, shovel in
hand. I was planning to go around hitting the rocks around town, to see
which one would give up some cash. Not that I needed any, since I had
made a killing on the turnip market the week previous. Still, it was
something to do.

Besides, every bell counted, when trying to pay off Tom Nook's
incredibly expensive mortgages. I couldn't help but wonder why that
damned tanuki's rates were so high. Still, the home he had built and
expanded for me was pretty high quality, and to his credit he wasn't
demanding all the money back right away.

Anyway, I went about merrily banging the rocks with my shovel, ignoring
the bemused glances of my eccentric neighbors.

I was startled out of my running around by the high-pitched bleating of
Chevre, the goat next door, who was apparently alarmed about something.
As I came around the corner, I saw that she was being harassed by some
strange cat. Now I had seen this cat around before. Her name was
Blanca, and she would always be coming around, asking people to draw her
a new face. She was kind of pushy, but it was easy to brush her off,
whether or not you bothered to re-do her make up.

Now, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why Chevre was so
bothered by her. Why couldn't Chevre just tell her to go away? It was
then that I saw Blanca pull out a club.

What the hell...?

She swung, and clocked Chevre a good one right between the horns.
Chevre went down, still bleating, forelegs covering her head. 'Damn,' I
thought, 'even collapsed in pain the cuteness factor is overwhelming!'
Even as that thought was reaching completion, I was already running
towards them, shovel held high.

I took a huge swing, and knocked Blanca across the back of her head. I
had just hoped to get her away from Chevre, so the goat could perhaps
escape, but I had swung a bit too hard, and Blanca fell like a puppet
whose strings had been cut.

Chevre was okay, thank goodness. I handed her my shovel, which she used
as a crutch to lever herself upright, because I needed both hands to
roll Blanca on her back. I hoped I didn't hurt her too badly. What we
saw when I finally managed to roll her over caused both Chevre and me to
recoil in shock.

Blanca's face, which showed the signs of being drawn over multiple
times, had actually detached from the front of her skull! Behind it
was a mass of sparking wires and metal --

Our horrified examination was halted when I felt a strong hand grip my
arm, spinning me around. Chevre started shouting in alarm again, as I
found myself assaulted by ANOTHER BLANCA!

By now, Chevre's cries had attracted most of the people in town. Cesar
and Samson grabbed this second Blanca by the arms and managed to haul
her off of me, but they ended up getting thrown back, coincidentally
flattening Cube, who was trying and failing to keep out of the way.
However, this gave me a chance to get something else out of my pockets
to fight back with.

I grabbed my hatchet. With one wild (and, admittedly, lucky) swing, I
managed to plant the blade right between Blanca's mismatched eyes. I
got a nasty shock from whatever power was flowing behind that fake face,
but I did manage to put her down for the count.

After a few confused minutes with everyone trying to figure out what the
hell just happened, we left Nibbles, Pompom, and Samson to keep watch
over the destroyed Blancas, while the rest of us made for the town gate.
Booker the guard was surprised to realize that he had let Blanca in
twice, without her leaving, but had no other information. After getting
Copper to secure the gate so that no one could enter or leave, we ran
for the Town Hall.

Mayor Tortimer was waiting for us outside of the building. He had heard
about the goings on from one of the other neighbors, and his face was
grim. "So it's come to this, then?" he asked, his voice having lost its
customary cheerfulness. He proceeded to explain that he had heard
reports from other towns of these "Blanca" drones invading and
destroying. They were apparently disgusted that they had been created
without faces, and were determined to destroy us "faceists" so that they
could live without worrying about one of us laughing at them. We were
shocked to hear that Treehut had already been lost.

Naturally, we were all worried about what appeared to be a coming
invasion, but Tortimer told us all to settle down and follow him. He
led us to Nookington's department store and banged on the door.

Tom Nook himself came out, surprised to see practically the entire town
assembled in front of his door. "What can I do for you today?" he asked
politely.

Tortimer addressed him in a no-nonsense tone. "We need to see
the...special merchandise."

Surprised, Nook looked at Tortimer as if to say, "Are you sure?"
However, noting Tortimer's determined expression, Nook nodded smartly
and waved us all in. Once we were all inside, Nook shut the door, went
behind the register, and pushed a switch. The Nook point machine next
to the door shuddered, and slid to one side, revealing a hidden
staircase.

We all went down and marveled at what we saw. Racks of weapons, from
swords to shotguns. Camouflage shirts for everyone. Apparently, this
was where all the extra mortgage money was going. It also explained why
the Hedgehog sisters were always busy sewing...

Once we were all properly equipped, Tortimer gave a little speech. He
told us that we were not going to simply wait for the Blancas to
assemble in force to overrun our little town. No, we were going to
strike first, and hopefully liberate Treehut in the process. After he
was finished, we all gathered together and marched back to the town
gate.

I managed to get close to the mayor. I asked him, "Are you sure about
this?" I pointed to our little group. Purrl was holding her broadsword
with some distaste, due to it clashing with her outfit. Lilly had a
shotgun, but obviously had no idea how to hold it.

Tortimer nodded grimly. "I don't know about you, my boy, but I'd rather
go down swinging." He then turned to Copper. "Are you ready?"

Both Copper and Booker saluted.

Tortimer returned the salute. "Open the gate."

**********

I'm so very, very sorry...

Incidentally, the inspiration for this inanity was this random thought:

"Welcome to Animal Crossing: WestWorld."

I'd like to note in passing that I haven't seen the new Battlestar
Galactica yet.

Rob
(occasional) writer of fanfiction
(stuck in the middle of an AMG fic ("obeying destiny") for, like, two
or three years now)
-- 
....and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more 
painful than the risk it took to blossom.
--Anais Nin