[FFML] Avenging Act IV Chapter 6

[Douglas Sommer]

Oops again. Always remember to turn off HTML formatting and put in URLs,
emails, etc. as plain text.

% Yeah. It's been a while 

% Used the grammar recommendations. 



> Giant Man laughed just as long and hard. Normally he abhorred 
> attending these meetings, dressed like a gaudy clown and forcing 
> himself to listen to his erstwhile teammates' inane banter

Aren't they *still* his teammates?

% I Should have said, 'nominal'.



> really because Ryoto could juggle that she left him.
>
> "I am an exciting man!" Giant Man insisted.
>
> "You sure are, sir." Sasuke had been a manservant long enough to 
> recognize when an employer was seeking that bit of moral support from 
> an outside source.

Besides which, compared to him, just about anybody with a pulse would be
exciting.

% But ninjas are always cool. 


> "How did building get across street?"
>
> "I don't know." Giant Man took another belt.
>
> "Because Hulk threw it. Hahahaha!"

Good one, Hulk.

HULK: Knock knock.

JARVISUKE: Who's there?

HULK: Hulk.

JARVISUKE: Er... Hulk who?

HULK: Hulk SMASH:

JARVISUKE: Ha ha! Good one!

% Heh



> It had been a long time since a gathering of weather gods got together 
> to party.

RAIDEN: That's true. Didn't we have a picnic scheduled last year? What
happened with that?

CHAAK: Cancelled due to rain.

RAIDEN: Oh yeah, right.

% I forgot the ironic humor you possess.


> remaining members of the team. "As you know. Shiro Yoshida, was 
> stopped by us from engaging in continued mass murder. Since he was 
> attacking foreign embassies at the time, this has left the country in 
> a quandary. He created a massive international incident and a lot of 
> people want him, especially the Genoshans, who literally want his 
> head. But since there's a very strong push by the ruling government 
> for abolishing the death penalty altogether,

It's that new superhero, Captan Exposition!

% If there can be a Basil Expostion, I say why not?




> "Don't be stupid. It's gender insensitive to GC's who identify as male 
> but

Probably should either be GCs or 'GC's. Apostrophes indicate either
possessive nouns or contracted/omitted content, neither of which seems the
case here. Look for the same below.

Yoshi's rather interpretive view of GC politics is amusing, though I think
it goes on too long, and Sugi's reaction is maybe a bit too spot-on. The
readers can probably figure out for themselves how warped Yos' views are.

% Okay. And I need to give Peter David for coming up with the 'GC's thing
back in mid 90's on X-Factor. It was a great running gag on a run that has
been long since forgotten by most today. 

% I still love his analysis of why Quicksilver always came off as such a
jerk. 



> "Let's shout *and* leap," Giant Man hit the open door button and leapt
out.

> Everyone looked in disbelief at where their large companion had been a 
> moment before. "When did he become a man of action?" Daredevil asked.

About three bottles ago.

% Pretty much. I have to move some plotlines along. 




> She was about to drop it, and hope she could avoid the beam, when the 
> red haired one called out, "M! Get the big guy."

red-haired (which female Ranma isn't actually, by the way; oh well, this is
a fusion)

% She is gingerific, yes. :)



> Iron Rose watched on as the others engaged what she perceived as minions.
> She was going after their leader who, in armor, was a natural foe.  
> She would pit her brilliant genius against some low rent, low tech, 
> back alley

low-rent, low-tech, back-alley

> Radio Shack contraption any day.

Do they have Radio Shacks in Japan? It's a good expression of her attitude
though.

% This is targeted for US audiences, so while technically unlikely she would
use this, I think the reader gets it. Thanks. 



> On a viewing monitor, a scowl crossed the features of a man.
>
> "Looks like this was a bust," the woman next to him said.

LESLIE NIELSEN: Yes, it's very impressive. But we just want to ask a few
questions.

% Actually hers are, but it is an anime trope. :)


> "Indeed." He pushed a button while the woman said into a communicator, 
> "Pull out, my samurai.

*AHEM* Better not comment on this one....

% She does do this intentionally. 



> Electricity filled the air with smoked flesh. The vortex user appeared 
> to suck in on herself, while the remaining man simply blew into bits.
> Splattering everyone, even the unconscious Daredevil.

Suggest: bits, splattering
(I'm not terribly opposed to sentence fragments when they work dramatically
but I don't think this one does.)

% Agree

> "They were too incompetent to use, and knew too much to live. I would 
> just as soon not let the world know that reports of my demise were 
> premature until I'm ready to make my move." He sighed. "Apparently 
> using long range

long-range

MANTIS: Oh great creator, this one humbly asks that you help my companion to
learn mercy...

COMPANION: Oh, right. A praying Mantis.

% Cute


% Thanks for the feedback.

% And yes, next chapter we get to learn who the mystery woman of the last...
goddamn, it's been 15 years since she popped up in Chapter 2, is. It
probably would have had more impact if it wans't so long ago.  At least some
people figured out who her companion is.