[FFML] [FIC][MEGACROSSOVER] Requiem

[Gary Kleppe]

Andrew Hubbard <animeotakudrew at yandex.com> wrote:

>     “I tried to save you, you know,” he said as he started to walk around
> the grave. “I tried to go back, and stop it from happening. But every way
> I tried, it was no use. At every point I could think of that would have
> made a difference, I was blocked because I crossed too strongly onto my
> own timeline.

You know, this begs up a question that I can't resist trying to answer...


The Tardis engines thrummed as the machine wended through strata of  
history and probability. "Right, that takes care of Dragonball Z," The  
Doctor said to the assembled passengers, turning away from the  
console. "Next stop, the Sailorverse. I'll soon have all of you back  
home."

"I really don't understand why you can't use your time machine to save  
the FFML," Conan Edogawa said. "Just a little constructive feedback  
and maybe some good story inspiration in a few places, and the  
community ought to thrive nicely."

"Believe me, I tried. It's just too tied in with my own timeline. The  
one thing I must never to is try to interfere with my own history. The  
whole thing could collapse in on itself."

Nabiki Tendo looked up. "You know, I was fairly involved with FFML  
myself at one point. I really don't remember much to do with you at  
all. Maybe a couple of crossovers and cameo appearances, but it was  
really all manga and anime which you weren't part of."

"That's just how it is, that's all," The Doctor said, visibly uncomfortable.

Conan looked at Nabiki for a moment, and nodded. "Doctor, I think  
there just might be something you aren't telling us."

The Doctor shrugged.

"I think I know." Nabiki smirked. "You were a fanfic author, right?"

"Okay, it's true," The Doctor said guiltily. "Actually, I was  
*several* fanfic authors. You know that story where a new character  
shows up at your school, beats up Kuno, and you fall in love with him?  
*I* did that."

"Which one? There's a *lot* of stories like that."

"I know. I wrote them all. I tried experimenting by hopping around  
time and posting basically the same story with only minor variations  
to different readers. Nobody ever liked it for some reason. There's  
more. Remember Megane 6.7?"

"Sure," Conan said. "I always enjoy reading his MSTs." He smiled.  
"You're him?"

"Oh no. But he's MSTed my work maybe a dozen times."

A horrified look crossed Sailor Moon's face. "You didn't write... THAT  
story, did you? You know the one I mean?"

"I'm afraid I did."

"Ew!" Her gloved hand slapped The Doctor's face. She turned away,  
clutching her cat to her chest.

The Doctor rubbed his chin. "I had that coming."

"Interesting," Conan said. "So you were responsible for a lot of bad  
fanfiction in past. I suppose you've been too busy with saving the  
universe and all to be posting much these days?"

"Actually, I've been one of the more consistent writers on the list  
recently. But I've been doing it under another name."

"You don't mean...." Nabiki looked disgusted. "You *can't* tell me  
that you're..."

"Neko Nightgazing..."

"I SAID YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT!"

"Fine. Just as well. Even I can never keep all those names straight."

"Doctor, Doctor, Doctor." Conan began to pace around the floor. "Why  
did you do it? Why did you create so much fanfiction, and all of it...  
bad?"

"Look, you have to understand. I'm from Gallifrey." He sighed. "Time  
Lords have incredibly vast knowledge and are capable of doing a lot of  
fantastic things. But one thing we *can't* do is write. About the only  
writing that anybody on my planet does is in the historical archives,  
and those're *supposed* to be duller than dishwater. When it comes to  
plot and character development, none of us know our arses from our  
elbows."

An unfomfortable silence fell for a moment.

"Settle something for me," Nabiki said. "Some people used to claim  
that I was Tybalt, the anonymous list moderator. I wasn't." She looked  
The Doctor in the eyes. "Were you?"

"Oh, no. I was never part of list administration." He smiled  
wistfully. "No, Tybalt was definitely not me."

"That's a relief."

A light flashed on the console. The Doctor slapped a button, and a  
flat panel shimmered into view.

"Hello?"

A black-suited man appeared on the screen, his white-streaked beard  
accenting a malicious smile. "Ah, Doctor."

"You again?"

"I'm afraid you've spammed the FFML, my dear Doctor," he said with a  
flourish in his voice. "Your thread must be banned, and you with it!"

"You're in the wrong time period!" The Doctor shot back. "Your  
moderator privileges were revoked back in the late ninteen-ninties!"

"I don't care! You're being tempbanned... permanently! Goodbye,  
Doctor!" He laughed loudly, and the Tardis began to shake.

"Hang on to something!" The Doctor shouted, and reality began to fade.  
"It's only because the author couldn't think of a proper ending...."