[FFML] [orig] Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko Chapter 4: You Must Love Me

[Abdiel]

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Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko
An Anime-Inspired Original Story from 4chan's /a/ Board
By Abdiel
Original Idea by Hataki
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/3206139/

The pain of reality versus expectations.


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Chapter 4: You Must Love Me

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One lazy Wednesday evening at home... Tomoyuki Yamamoto still had two
days left to go before he could receive calls from AU Seiko Okamoto
again... he received a call marked, "Seiko Okamoto".

What the hell? What was she thinking? She couldn't wait three days?

He answered, "Amazon Queen! What are you thinking? We're going to get
grounded if you call me at home or at all, remember?"

Well, he almost said all that, except as soon as he said, "Amazon Queen!
What..." he remembered that AU Seiko was listed as "Amazon Queen" on his
phone, while the Seiko he knew was listed as "Seiko Okamoto".

The _real_ Seiko was calling him right now.

She said, "Sorry, is this a bad time to call, Yamamoto-kun? If you're
busy or something, then I really should..."

"Oh, not at all. You're free to call me anytime, Okamoto!" he reassured,
his heart not only caught against his throat, but was about to exit his
mouth altogether in his excitement.

He felt like he did the first time he called AU Seiko on the phone,
thinking she was his universe's Seiko instead. While texting and talking
to AU Okamoto allowed him to relax when he was in her presence, the same
could not be said about his interactions with the "real" Amazon Queen.

"...Amazon Queen, eh?" reiterated Seiko, his tone of voice implying a
raised eyebrow.

Case in point. "Ah, sorry, Seiko-chan! I mean, Amazon Queen! I mean,
Okamoto! What can I do you for? I mean do for you? I didn't expect you
to call!"

He really didn't. He obviously didn't.

"Nothing much. I noticed that since you apologized to me, you haven't
been texting me as much. I was wondering if there was a problem between
us again or something..."

'Texting? Huh?' he thought. He then heard static and mumbling on the
other line, followed by a strange pounding sound. What in the world...?
"H-Hello?"

"Oh, sorry about that. I should've been the one to apologize to you! You
were the one who got a black eye because of me!"

"Like I said before, that's water under the bridge, Okamoto. There's no
need to worry about that any longer," said Yamamoto as he picked his
words carefully.

It was surreal for Tomoyuki to talk to the girl of his dreams so easily
when before, he would've stumbled and humiliated himself by now. He also
took care not to fall back to his more relaxed habits while talking to
Seiko's AU counterpart.

"Um, my black eye is pretty much gone now, thanks for asking," he added
after Seiko's pause lasted longer than he thought it'd last.

"I'm really sorry for everything, Furyou-kun...!"

"I told you, it's no big deal, Okamoto... Eh?" Did he hear her right?
"Did you just call me 'Furyou-kun'?"

Again, he heard static and dull thumping sounds. Were people doing
construction work near Seiko's home or something?

"Um, Okamoto?"

"This was a bad idea. Goodbye, Yamamoto-kun."

"No, wait! What happened to Sugata?"

She didn't hang up. In contrast to her gabby AU counterpart, she sure
loved pausing and keeping quiet. Boy, he sure wished he still had that
flowchart he made when he first called the other Seiko; at least then,
he'd have an idea of what to do next.

"...I really can't say. Sorry."

This was getting painful. Yamamoto decided to end the call right then
and there in order to try again later (maybe), amending, "Okay, that's
none of my business. Sorry for prying, Oka..."

"...What did you ever see in me?" she murmured.

"Um..." he trailed off as he gulped and asked, "Come again?"

"Oh, sorry, don't answer that!" she said.

However, thanks to a helpful hint from AU Seiko in regards to how to
converse with women... or at least how to converse with women named
Seiko Okamoto... Tomoyuki now knew that "Don't answer that!" actually
meant "Please answer that!" in "Womanese".

Okay, maybe it was more "Okamoto-ese" than "Womanese", but nevertheless,
it wasn't Japanese by any stretch of the imagination. As lame as it
sounded, he ultimately answered, "I think you're a swell girl,
Okamoto."

He did this because AU Seiko once told him, "If ever the other me begins
insulting myself... I mean, herself... she's probably fishing for
compliments. Don't agree with me! Reassure me that I'm wrong."


===


During Tomoyuki's text conversation with AU Seiko...

"Why do women do that?" he had asked AU Okamoto regarding the "fishing
for compliments" concept he'd learned just now.

She answered. "Because _insecurities_. Don't question it, that's just
the way things are."

"You would never... I mean, the Okamoto in my universe isn't that..."

"...Shallow?"

"I was thinking more in the lines of _petty_. I mean, you're a bro!
You're frank, straightforward, and have no airs! We've also been talking
about sports! Kind of."

"...No, we haven't, you asthmatic wimp. You know as much about baseball
as you do about the opposite sex; you've never gotten to first base with
either of them."

He rolled his eyes. "_Okay_, many other topics... aside from sports. You
know what I mean."

"Dude, would it kill you to give out a compliment to my other self?
Seriously."

"But that's such an underhanded way of getting it!"

"No girl will ask you to tell them they're pretty upfront! They don't
want to look shallow."

"So you admit it _is_ shallow?"

"...Yes. Fine. It's shallow. I'm shallow. I'm one of those shallow
girls who want to be called pretty from time to time because I'm sick
and tired of being told that I'm a tomboy who's as strong or cool as all
the other boys. Sorry to disappoint."

"...But that's the thing! You're not shallow! You're better than that!"

"Y-You're just saying that..."

"It's the truth!"

AU Seiko muttered, "T-Thanks." She then paused. "You sneaky bastard!
There you go! You're quite quick on the uptake! Subtlety is also a key
factor in making compliments work! You need to offer something more than
just lip-service flattery."


===


"Why am I a swell girl?" probed the "real" Seiko, waking Tomoyuki from
his brief reverie.

Dammit, where was that conversation flowchart when he needed it? "I
don't want to press the issue because you've already rejected me, but...
you were nice to me. You didn't laugh along when people called me Cherry
Boy, and you even stood up for me."

"Lots of girls are nice to you. What makes me different?"

"I guess it helps that you're a tall, long-legged, and pony-tailed
beauty, if you don't mind my saying so."

"You're resorting to flattery now, Yamamoto-kun?" she asked. "Are you
trying to seduce me or something?"

"Well, I... I just thought... if I had a girlfriend like you, everyday
will be a day worth looking forward to, you know?"

He did an inward fist pump after Seiko said, "Thanks. That's the
sweetest thing I've ever heard anyone tell me." He promptly deflated as
she added, "You're such a great friend. What would I do without you?"

'You'd probably do Sugata,' he thought bitterly before he shook his head
and replied, "You know I'm always there for you, Okamoto. I've relied on
you for so long too."

"Oh stop, you had me at 'everyday will be worth looking forward to',
already, Yamamoto-kun." Tomoyuki could practically see Seiko hold her
pinkish cheeks and wave him off. So cute!

"I'm completely serious! Don't you remember the time you saved me from
getting dunked into the toilet... again... by my classmates in first
year? We weren't in the same class yet, so you may have already
forgotten."

This was actually one of the few things he hadn't revealed to AU Seiko
regarding his crush with the actual Okamoto.

"Wait... No. I haven't. Really? What season last year did I save you?
Were you already dunked into the water or was it before you were dunked?
Pre-dunk or post-dunk?" Seiko asked. In all seriousness.

'Pre-dunk or post-dunk? What am I? An Oreo cookie?' Tomoyuki thought
before inquiring, "How many first years have you saved?"

"Um..."

"You actually lost count? Wow. As expected."

"I... I hate bullies, you see," she said softly.

'Huh. So she's different from AU Seiko after all,' considered Yamamoto,
remembering the other Okamoto's confession regarding bullying.

"I thought you were a year older than me because of how tall you were.
I haven't had my growth spurt then, so I looked like a middle school kid
during my first year in high school."

"Ah! You were the rude kid who kept calling me sempai even though I
wasn't that old! You even had a different hairdo back then!" she said
while clapping and laughing. "Wow. Beating up bullies. That takes me
back..."

"Your karate was amazing. I could've sworn some of those assholes'
bones snapped when you went to town on them. They went running, and one
of them even said that cliche line, 'We'll remember this!' like it was
some sort of TV show. It was hilarious!"

Yamamoto turned blue upon remembering what happened next. "Then you
karate chopped me on the head for calling you sempai."

She said, "Oh. Wow. Yeah, _now_ I remember you. Sorry."

He said, "No, it's okay. You still saved me from a head dunking. I just
can't believe I've forgotten about that incident until now," as he
rubbed his noggin by reflex.

"I hope your memory loss wasn't because of a concussion," Okamoto joked
nervously, so Yamamoto laughed apprehensively along with her while both
of them wished for instant death during that mortifying exchange.

"_Anyway_, yeah. It's kind of backwards, but you were my Knight in
Shining Armor back then."

Had the other Okamoto heard him say that, she would've gagged and said,
"Have shame! Where's your pride as a man? Don't chop your balls off for
her, even though she is me!"

Okamoto said, "I'm happy to hear that."

"You're a one-of-a-kind girl. Any man would be lucky to have you."

"You're just saying that."

"Of course, not! You gave me my pride back that day."

"Aren't you ashamed you were saved by a girl?"

"No, I didn't think of it that way. You saving me made me realize that
there was someone out there who cared... that I'm a person worth saving.
So I persevered."

He blinked after he noticed something. Throughout the entire
conversation, he hadn't heard a peep from Seiko regarding a certain
short-haired, bespectacled class representative of Section 2B.

Why was that? Usually, by this time, the Okamoto in his world would be
inquiring about the state of his relationship with Machida. He had
half-expected her to say, "Stop flattering me, Yamamoto-kun! I know you
already have Miku-chin!" all this time.

She instead said, "I'm not the girl whom you think I am."

"I guess you aren't... I barely even know you. So far."

"No, I mean I'm no savior of yours. I didn't save you from the bullies
because of some sense of justice or anything! I was just really pissed
off at the time. I didn't even remember you back then, when we probably
first met."

"Oh, come now. I didn't say you were a saint or anything. You made a
lasting impression on me, that's all."

She chuckled. "Oh really? Is _that all_ I've done?" After _yet another_
pause, she asked something that nearly made him drop his phone, "You're
not _really_ in love with Machida, are you?"

Actually, it was the other way around, but he nevertheless said, "No, we
don't see each other that way," in one quick breath before covering his
phone's mouthpiece and panting for air. He hyperventilated.

_Finally_, she got it. She understood. After days of endless Machida-
related torture, Seiko got the picture. He wondered what could've
prompted her to realize the truth? Where was this conversation going? He
didn't know. Should he even dare to hope that...?

"I'm sorry about forcing you two together as a couple. I assumed wrong."
Nothing short of her standing beside him and bowing would've made her
appear even more contrite than she did right then.

"That's okay. I kind of figured out what you were trying to do."

"...I-Is it that obvious?"

He licked his lips, remembering that this Seiko hadn't told him about
her crush with Sugata. Not that she needed to. "Yeah. Everyone in our
class sees it. Sugata and you..."

"I-It's not like that! W-We're just..." came her halfhearted denial. She
then continued. "Then why wouldn't he see what everyone else sees?" He
could sense the swell of emotion strain her vocal chords through her
muffled voice on the phone alone.

"I don't know," he said.

"We're on the same boat, actually," she told him. "You think you're the
Friend Zone King? Well, I'm no Amazon Queen. I might as well be the
Friend Zone Queen instead of the Amazon Queen!"

"We can rule among the Denizens of the Friend Zone. Our kingdom would
have virgins as far as the eye could see. Always alone. Never loved,
except with each other. Misery loves company," he half-joked.

She chuckled in between hiccups. "Stop it. I'm trying to be serious
here."

"Sorry."

"Do you want to know why I saved you from your bullies?"

"That's because you hate bullies, right?"

"Yeah. They piss me off. They remind me of how I used to be."

And so everything came full circle. What he thought was a point of
disparity between AU Seiko and his Seiko turned out to be something they
had in common. He should've known this would happen. All the warning
flags were raised before he realized it.

"You were a sukeban?" The possibility of the tomboyish Seiko turning out
to be a female delinquent back in middle school wasn't that much of a
stretch of the imagination.

"You could say that. I was so immature. The person I bullied turned out
to be the person I liked the most."

She didn't tell him anything he hadn't heard from her AU self. She
bullied Sugata because she liked him a lot. He instead fell for the shy,
sweet girl who tended his wounds after the rough horseplay he went
through with Seiko... their other childhood friend.

She then said something that took the wind out of him, like a punch to
the gut. "Why won't Kazu-kun see me as someone other than his best
friend?"

She might as well have said, "Why won't Kazu-kun see me the same way
you do?" Hello. He was still right there. On the phone. With her. How
insensitive could this tomboy get?

"W-Who's Kazu-kun?" he feigned ignorance, remembering she never called
Sugata that anymore... at least not to his face.

"Sugata. His name is Sugata Kazuhito, right? I used to call him Kazu-kun
when we were little."

"Oh, I see."

He didn't hate her for saying that, but he sure didn't want to hear
more. As fate would have it, _that_ was exactly what happened anyway.

"Why won't he see me as a woman? As someone he could desire? Am I always
going to be his best friend, one of the guys, until I get sick and tired
of the feelings I have for him?"

He honestly didn't know how to answer that, so he mumbled his assent,
figuratively buckled up, and let Seiko go off. "So what happened?"

"He has Miku-chin's phone number. He wants to ask her out. He has no
idea what she likes, so he's been reading up on manga and watching anime
because he heard rumors she was into those things."

'Wow. That'... Wow. What a goofy thing for Sugata to do,' he thought
while keeping himself from bursting out laughing. If only Kazuhito had
any idea what sort of Japanese cartoons and comics Miku loved to
patronize.

"I tried. I tried my best to catch his eye. I tried flirting with him,
but I don't even know how to flirt! I thought it was a waste of time to
beat around the bush."

"I know what you mean! You're the kind of girl who's straightforward and
not underhanded at all!" he said before thinking to himself, 'I knew it.
I knew she wasn't the kind of girl to fish for compliments! That's
something her AU self did, not her!'

"Thank you! I know, right? The only way I know how to... what's the
word... Connect? Relate? Oh, interact! The only way I know how to
interact with Kazu-kun is to resort to playground-tier tactics of
teasing and arguments. I even started calling him Furyou-kun. I'm
pathetic, aren't I?"

He ignored the voice in his head (that sounded strangely like AU Seiko)
that told him, 'If she wasn't fishing for compliments before, she is
now.'

"It must have been because I've bullied him all that time. I knew it! I
knew he still hates me for that!"

"Oh, come on. He's probably forgotten about it. What you did was kid's
horseplay.

"Horseplay? Oh no, no, no... You don't understand what he'd been through
thanks to me," she said.

"It couldn't have been that bad. I mean, you were kids back then. What,
did you dunk his head into a toilet too back in the day?"

"Not exactly."

"Okay, so you got physical with him, punched him around, and took his
lunch money, then?"

"That's part of it..."

"It couldn't possibly get worse than that."

"Well, I shoved ants in his pants once."

"O-Okay..."

"And I put pepper on his face."

"You mean pepper spray?"

"Oh no, I don't have access to that in Hiroshima. Pepper. I threw it in
his face like one of those professional wrestling shows. He cried like a
little girl and sneezed till he had a nose bleed."

As Seiko related her bullying exploits to Tomoyuki, which ranged from
abandoning him after his bicycle dented a car when they were racing, to
listing off and distributing the names people called him at their
neighborhood and school (She knew what "Lady Boy" meant at an early
age).

Yamamoto went from thinking why she would feel so insecure about her
tomboyish ways to thinking why hadn't Sugata cut ties with her
altogether.

"I'm horrible, aren't I?" she asked.

He nevertheless said, "The past is past. You can't help being who you
are."

Shamed as he was to admit it, the fact that Seiko did so many
traumatizing things to Sugata made him believe he actually had a chance
to getting her for real this time around (as opposed to getting her
transdimensional self).

"Sometimes I wish I weren't."

"What are you talking about? Any guy would be lucky to have a girl like
you!"

"A tomboy, you mean."

"What's wrong with tomboys?" Seriously, what was wrong with them? He
loved tomboys. Of course, he already knew the answer deep down his heart
why her tomboyish nature was now at odds with her desires.

"Tomboys are great people to pal around with, but more often than not,
they're the first ones boys abandon in favor of girls who blossomed into
women."

"That's not true! I know a lot of people who love tomboys... who love
the idea of a girl who acts like one of the guys, will always be there
for you through thick and thin, and understands how a guy thinks!"

Seiko made a sound that sounded like a blend between a bitter laugh and
a choke. "You make me sound like I want to become a man or something.
Understand what a guy thinks? No, I'm _clueless_ about that subject."

"I'm serious! You're like... one of the guys!" He cursed under his
breath for repeating himself. "You can keep up with any of the boys
during gym class, you're even more updated with the scores of any number
of professional teams or athletes, and I've never seen you backstab
anyone like most the women I know! You're even honest to a fault!"

He took a deep breath and continued. "What's not to like about you?
You're more comfortable in your karate gi than you are in skirts and
blouses, yet you still look more stunning than many of the girls in our
class, or even in other classes within the same year! Any guy would be
lucky to have you as their girlfriend!"

He could almost hear the "Ugh," from the other line. "I'd appreciate it
if you tell Furyou-kun that for me. You don't really believe that... Do
you, Yamamoto-kun? Tomboys are the kind of women that sounds good on
paper, but aren't so hot in real life."

"Why? What happened? What did Sugata do to you?" he unthinkingly said.
If only he knew the implications of what he'd blathered, he'd be hitting
his head on the nearest hard surface for his stupidity.

"He's a clueless ox, that damn Yankee! For him, tomboys are only great
to hang out with. They're never girlfriend material. Sure, having a best
friend and a possible girlfriend at the same time sounds great, but in
the end, what boys really want are the shy, demure, and cute girls!
Don't lie, you know this is true!"

"I..." Tomoyuki had no words left to say. His hindsight enabled him to
realize too late what the call was about. She wasn't calling him for his
sake, but for Sugata's.

So Kazuhito recently got Machida's number... Wait, why _was_ Seiko
suddenly aware of Miku's lack of feelings for Tomoyuki when she'd been
trying to pair him and the fujoshi all of last week?

The laser beam of epiphany hit Yamamoto right between the eyes. With a
tired tone, he concluded, "So you found out about Machida's number by
scrolling though Sugata's list of contacts on his phone, huh?"

"Ah... so you figured it out?" said Seiko.

"Well, I was _kind of_ the one who gave the number to him, so..."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"O-Okamoto...?"

"S-Sorry. I got... carried away."

"I apologize too, for giving Sugata the hint he needed to get Machida's
phone number."

"Hint...?"

"I told him it's better for him to ask her directly than to ask me for
her number."

Seiko went silent, no doubt remembering their own debacle regarding
phone numbers and whatnot. "Oh, so _that's_ what you did. Now I feel
kind of silly snapping at you like that."

"It's okay. I'm used to girls snapping at me and misunderstanding my
intentions."

"Awww..." Seiko cooed. "You poor thing. You deserve better. You're such
a sweet guy, after all."

_That_ statement served as a nail straight to his heart, though, because
it was a _prime_ component of the Friend Zone Speech, along with, "I
wish my boyfriend was as nice as you!" and "There are many fish in the
sea!"

He was starting to think that maybe taking this call from the Seiko of
his world was a bad idea.

"If only I acted more like Megu-chin..."

"Megu-chin? Who's Megu-chin?"

Oh, that was right. She was the girl Sugata proposed to in the other
dimension. So she existed in their world too. Oh wait, Kazuhito already
told him he had _one_ ex-girlfriend, right? That was probably "Megu-
chin".

Seiko answered his question anyway. "Minagata Megumi. She was Furyou-
kun's ex-girlfriend... and my best friend... back in Hiroshima. Had his
family not decided to move here, then they may have ended up marrying
each other."

"Oh."

"Yep." Okamoto's laugh had a bitter tinge to it. "Hey, Yamamoto-kun, do
you want to hear something pathetic?"

"No," was his honest answer, but his culturally ingrained politeness
compelled him to say, "Hmmm?" He also considered turning his cell off so
that the call would end because his battery "ran out". You know, to save
face.

"The reason I went to Tokyo to study was because of that idiot! I
actually deluded myself into thinking that I had a chance with him! Have
you heard of anything more pathetic?"

He had. There was this one chump who pined for a girl who was in love
with her childhood friend. He was friendzoned by many other girls, but
he never learned his lesson. He longed for the tomboy of his dreams,
but the only person whom she wished would be attracted to her tomboyish
charms wasn't him at all, but some dumb Yankee asshole. He was now stuck
listening to her complain about a guy whose shoes he wished to wear.

In a desperate move to change the subject, Yamamoto probed, "So what's
Minagawa Megumi like?"

"Oh, her? She's everything I'm not."

'Fascinating.'

"She's demure, kind, shy, nurturing, motherly, throws baseballs like an
actual girl... You know, the kind of adorable young woman that jocks
woo and nerds base their fantasies on as their 'waifu'. She's quite
unlike uncouth, brash, mannish, and muscular ol' me! Actually, she
reminds a bit of Miku-chin in a lot of ways!"

'Kill me now. Stop it. No mas,' he thought while internally screaming.
He tried several times to steer the conversation away from Sugata, but
it kept coming back to him. Over and over again. She must not have been
conscious about her tendencies, because otherwise, he'd swear that she
was messing with him.

"You really love Sugata, don't you?"

She trailed off, "I'm sorry you had to hear all that..." as though she
finally came to her senses. She must've heard his telepathic pleas for
help, because before he knew it, she asked him, "What am I doing?"

He answered, "You're... just letting off some steam, that's all."

"T-Thanks. Goodbye, Yamamoto-kun."

Before she hung up, Tomoyuki blurted out, "Don't worry, I'll cheer you
on!" as his lips trembled. He felt every word stab at his heart.

AU Seiko would later message him after he revealed to her what had
transpired, "I hate to be _that_ guy, but... now you know how I feel
whenever your other self _constantly_ talks about Machida, AU
Yamamoto-kun! I told you so!"


===


The next day, AU Seiko sent the following series of messages.

"I'm sorry I can't return your feelings, Yamamoto-kun."

"It's okay. It can't be helped, Okamoto."

"You would've made a great boyfriend, though."

"I'm sure you'd make a great girlfriend too."

"You deserve better than this, Yamamoto-kun."

"You deserve better from Sugata too."

"I'm _really_ sorry about this, Yamamoto-kun."

"It's too bad, but I'll cheer you on, Amazon Queen!"

Yamamoto sent her only one message.

"Fuck off."


===


Nothing much happened on Thursday. The good news was that Tomoyuki's
one-week "grounding" from making any phone calls to AU Seiko (despite
the real Seiko's sudden call, which he deleted from his call history)
had been lifted by his parents a couple of days earlier. Yes, it was
only a week of no phone calls, but it seemed like his mother and father
finally had mercy on him by cutting his punishment short.

It wasn't as if it was an everyday occurrence that he got phone calls
from girls or anything. The frugal Miku never bothered because their
houses were literally next to each other, and she could come over
anytime since she was in good terms with his parents... too bad the same
couldn't be said about him and the Machidas, but that was neither here
nor there.

Furthermore, speaking of Miku... nothing particularly earth-shattering
happened on that front for Tomoyuki, although Seiko certainly reacted as
if something of that magnitude occurred. Machida was still Machida,
except now she was getting "funny" and "interesting" texts from Sugata.
Great.

Now both his best friend and his crush were putty in Kazuhito's hands.
Such was the life of the bad boy Casanova of their class, Yamamoto
reckoned.

Tomoyuki kind of expected... well, _hoped_... that Miku would be more
than a little repulsed by the way the surprisingly goofy Kazuhito was
acting around her. However, ever since Machida gave her phone number to
Sugata, she admitted that the blond-haired delinquent-looking Yankee of
Class 2B "wasn't half-bad once you got to know him".

Nothing changed in regards to his relationship with Miku, as far as the
Cherry Boy was concerned. She was actually more cheerful nowadays ever
since she finally gave her number to Sugata, marveling at how much of a
surprisingly suave gentleman the Yankee ended up to be despite whatever
it was that happened to the two of them on the school rooftop way back
when.

Moreover, she was still quite interested in how Yamamoto's "story"
regarding interdimensional romance was progressing. "I'm in a slump.
Nothing's happening yet," he told her in all honesty.

Nevertheless, from right under Yamamoto's nose, Sugata was able to
accomplish what the Virgin King never could but wished he did, which was
sweep his class representative neighbor off of her feet and shatter any
negative first impressions they might have had.

Kazuhito might have acted stupid prior to getting that phone number, but
once he did, it was smooth sailing from there. The goddamn gigolo.

Contrary to Tomoyuki's beliefs, Sugata didn't text Miku a hundred
messages or anything. Instead, he kept his cool and showed her his
charming side. Now it was Machida who couldn't stop talking about the
Yankee!

No, Kazuhito hadn't confessed his love to Machida... and, in turn, the
Class Rep hadn't accepted any love confessions from him... but it looked
like they were headed in that direction. No wonder Okamoto was in such a
panic. 'Congratulations to them, I guess.'

Nothing about the last few instances of that phone call was pleasant. It
made him feel like maybe having a version of Seiko that loved him, even
if she was from another dimension he could never reach, was enough. To
hell with the "real" Seiko.

Maybe he was asking for it. Or, most likely, maybe he was just a huge
idiot. At any rate, things sure were back to normal, all right. He was
alone, Sugata had two _more_ girls wrapped around his finger, and Seiko
essentially did to the Cherry Boy what many other girls had done to
him in the past... use him as a dumping ground for her boy problems,
such that he served as her shoulder to cry on and her ear to whisper to,
but never a hand to hold on to.

Anyway, that was enough of that. He had a call to make during recess
time the following day, on Friday.


===


"Hello, Doormat," greeted AU Seiko to Tomoyuki as soon as she picked up
her phone and answered it.

Seriously. Their first call in a week, and that was what she chose to
greet him with.

"Ugh. You're not going to let that go of that topic, are you?"

"Seriously though, you need to do something."

"What do you mean?"

"You're the Friend Zone King now or something, aren't you? You should
know when you're being friendzoned by... me! The other me! Of all
people!"

"Only the _real_ Seiko has the right to call me by that name."

"Whatever, Cherry Boy. You're still being friendzoned by the me from
your universe. You can't deny that fact."

"Oh, come on! We were making progress! We actually held a decent
conversation over the phone."

"Yeah! About _Kazu-kun_! Wake up! If you don't do something soon, she'll
be turning you into her own personal diary."

"...That's not a good thing?"

"Diaries aren't boyfriend material. Trust me. I know what I'm talking
about, since I'm talking about _me_ here."

Denial wasn't just a river in Egypt. Yamamoto knew AU Seiko was right,
but he'd never admit it to her face. Or at least on the phone. On the
other hand, maybe this _was_ progress. Prior to that phone call, the
only thing he and the real Seiko shared was small talk and an "Aw,
shucks!" attitude towards each other.

In fact, he was kind of glad she was still talking to him, because the
way she dumped him as soon as he (inadvertently) confessed his love for
her more than a week ago still stung his pride a little. _At least_ for
now, they were back to the "Aw, shucks!" stage of their "relationship".

"Come on, Okamoto's sharing all the same secrets that _you've_ shared
with me!" he reasoned desperately to AU Seiko while trying to describe
the train wreck that happened a day before in a better light.

"That doesn't count. I accepted your love confession that was meant for
her. She didn't. She's sharing _her_ secrets with you as a friend!" AU
Seiko countered, which left him proverbially reeling on the ropes for
dear life. It was quite the sharp counter.

"She _shared_ her deepest, darkest secrets too!"

"...Again, it's in a different context. If she really were developing
feelings for you, then she'd be talking about _you_ to Kazu-kun and not
the other way around!"

And _that_ was the knockout punch. It didn't matter if his imaginary,
metaphorical referee counted to ten or a hundred; he wasn't going to
get up from that.

Yamamoto groaned... not because the other Okamoto was wrong, but instead
because she was absolutely right. "So what should I do? You said it
yourself. Okamoto is in love with Sugata. In your universe, it took
Sugata getting engaged to another childhood friend of yours for you to
move on."

"So we're back to square one, huh? I remember you asking me the same
question last week."

"Looks like it."

AU Seiko paused for a bit before continuing. "This is going to sound
underhanded, but..."

"If it's underhanded, then I don't want any part of it!"

"...Are you sure, Cherry Boy?"

"N-No. Enough about me for now. How's your attempts to snare the other
me going?"

He heard her go, "Ulp." He sighed. "That bad, huh? I guess the
crossdressing story lost steam."

"Not exactly. I got to know quite a lot more about you... the other
you... in the last couple of weeks."

"What do you mean?"

"For one thing, I heard from the other you that apparently value loyalty
a lot. You couldn't handle betrayal."

"...My other self told you that?"

"More or less. Yammamoto-kun was talking about Miku-chin again... big
shock, I know... and he realized that he liked her because of..."

Seiko left Tomoyuki hanging. "...Because of what?"

"I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you."

"Oh, come on! You're not going to tell me anything I don't already
know!"

"If you already know it, then I don't need to tell you!"

So that was how it was going to be then? "Okay, fine. Let's connect the
dots. You mentioned something about loyalty. I do in fact value that.
Then again, I'd imagine that everybody else does. Who wants to be
betrayed by their friends anyway?"

"O-kay..."

"You're really not going to tell me?"

"You know what? Forget I ever said anything."

'Sheesh, now she's acting just like the other Okamoto when she called
me the other day,' thought Yamamoto before resuming his earlier train of
thought, like he had somehow become Sherlock Holmes or Conan Edogawa.

"Obviously, what my other self said really upset you somehow, but
because you actually have feelings for the other me, you were compelled
to hide my other self's secret, probably out of jealousy for Machida."

"Yamamoto-kun, please..."

"I therefore conclude that it's the other Machida's neighborly loyalty
to the other me that made him fall in love with her. You know what? I
understand the feeling. Half of the time, I keep remembering all those
random science facts that she keeps bringing up in order to make sense
of what's happening around me, like her Schroedinger's Cat thing that
has something to do with the fact that multiple universes exist...
Somehow."

"Oh great, now you sound just like Yamamoto-kun," AU Seiko sniped.

"I am _Yamamoto-kun_. And _you're_ acting just like the Okamoto in my
world who's always getting jealous because her not-boyfriend got the
phone number of my not-girlfriend! Chill out, already!"

"But it's true, isn't it? If the Machida in your world had accepted
your love confession to her, then you would've fallen head over heels
in love with her!"

It was around this point that Yamamoto talked himself into a corner.
He'd long ago realized that _had_ Machida accepted his confession, then
maybe he wouldn't be pining for Okamoto. Maybe.

Not that it mattered, but Miku had always been there for him. He didn't
realize _just now_ that he liked her _that way_. He'd known from the
beginning.

"So is that what you were afraid of earlier? You were afraid I'd realize
the same things my other self realized and fall for Machida from out of
the blue?"

"W-Whatever! Like whomever you want to like! It's not like we can be
together anyway! It's not like I have the right to be jealous..."

Yamamoto clutched his chest because of how cute that sounded coming from
a tomboy's mouth. "That was so cute."

"W-W-What?"

"You. Being jealous. It's so cute."

"W-What are you saying? W-Weren't you irritated with my other self b-b-
because of how jealous she was acting?"

"Yeah, but that was her being jealous of Machida over Sugata! You're
being jealous of Machida over _me_."

"Sh-Sh-Shut up! I'm not being jealous over you, I'm jealous of your
other you!"

"Well, he's a lucky guy."

"So you're now resorting to flattery, AU Yamamoto-kun?" she asked in the
same manner the Seiko he knew would.

"Maybe I am. And maybe I'm being completely honest."

Another crisis averted, another bullet dodged... or so it seemed. Maybe
it helped a lot that they had a mutual understanding of sorts, but it
sure was easier to deal with AU Seiko than the Seiko of his own
universe.

"Hey, Cherry Boy. Who are you calling? Have you snapped, pretending
you're calling a girl when in fact no one's on the other line?" a voice
from behind him asked.

A dread chill traveled across Tomoyuki's spine as he turned and saw a
goliath of a man who had no right to be called a seventeen-year-old
palmed his face, pushed him aside, and swiped his cell phone just as he
accidentally hung up on AU Seiko.


===


Even though Yamamoto _technically_ had a girlfriend... a step up from
having a girl who was his friend who always hung out with him but never
showed a hint of romantic affection towards him whatsoever... his life
as the butt of people's "Forever Alone" jokes never really ended. AU
Seiko was merely the Novocain he had to dull the pain. He was still
known as the Friend Zone King.

Nevertheless, he had to admit that his flat, expressionless reaction
over being called a Cherry Boy by his classmates from behind his back
had helped quite a lot in reducing the taunts aimed at him in recent
weeks. He typically wore his heart on his sleeve, so a lack of a
reaction from him thanks to actual approval of him as a person and as
boyfriend material from his crush (albeit a version of her from another
universe) helped a lot in making his bullies lose interest in his
exploits.

Some of them _really_ missed the sad, forlorn look he gave when reminded
of his inability to score any dates from any of the females in the
school, though, but that was only par for the course. Come to think of
it, bullying in fictional stories was different from real-life bullying,
wasn't it? In film, television, or literature, bullies seemed out to get
the protagonist of the series, as though they were the designated banes
of his existence, or at least his obstacles to overcome.

Fictional bullies were less like individuals and more like walking plot
points waiting to be explored or defeated. Many of them were written
terribly and offered jokes and comebacks that would make even the
nerdiest nerd roll his eyes. Listen, if bullies in movies were to exist
in real life, they'd be the ones pounded on and dunked into toilets by
the real deals.

Speaking of which, getting dunked into a toilet (been there, done that)
was _so_ middle school. Also, as much as he hated to admit it, some of
the horrible things they did to him were quite creative; nothing like
the amateurish stuff seen in films, no. Real-life bullying didn't work
that way. Even though people in real life served as the stars of their
own "show", bullies in a given social circle were always the center of
attention in everyone's minds.

Yamamoto wasn't sure whether his attitude towards bullies stemmed from
his own low self-esteem and belief that he deserved his maltreatment or
genuine horrible storytelling from the shows he watched and the books he
read.

Nevertheless, he'd come to accept the existence of these jackasses who
didn't care who they hurt as long as they lived by their own rules and
could be the best or worst that they wanted themselves to be while
making huge groups of people hang on to their every word. After all,
there were times when even he deserved it. He could admit _that_ much,
at least.

For example, he got the Cherry Boy and the Virgin King monikers at a
time in high school when there were many boys who haven't even had sex
yet. Hell, the "herbivore men" phenomenon was in full swing, and yet he
was the still considered a poster boy for it because of how badly he
handled that situation wherein a girl accidentally sent a love
confession to him that she was supposed to send to someone else.

Yes, he was still thinking about _that_ incident. He couldn't help it,
because his bullies wouldn't let him live it down either. Thank Kami,
Buddha, or whoever it was up in the sky or through the astral plane
watching over him that the girl who texted him the wrong message never
became his classmate.

Then again, wasn't Seiko... at least, the Seiko in his world... kind of
a bully too? She bullied Sugata when they were younger, to be more
specific. He had... mixed feelings regarding the subject, since bullies
were a constant bane in his life as well.

On one hand, he was glad that there was a reason why Kazuhito wouldn't
even consider making Okamoto his girlfriend. On the other hand, she was
the one who saved him from getting bullied when they were first years
in the first place, although she did beat him up afterwards for calling
her "sempai".

Hell, that was the reason why he fell in love with her. Moreover, didn't
she only save him because she felt guilty or something over her past
bullying of Sugata? In short, the girl he fell for saved him because of
some guilt trip he had over Kazuhito.

Sugata again. It was always Sugata. 'Wait, doesn't all this complaining
about the crush of my crush remind me of something...?' It certainly
did.

He recalled the Alternate Universe Seiko complaining about the exact
same thing, except instead of "Sugata", she kept harping about
"Machida". He also remembered one other thing.

"I'm not the girl whom you think I am," the Seiko from his dimension
said.

What was he thinking about again? Oh yeah, his bullies. How did his
thoughts stray from his bullying to Seiko anyway?

At any rate, bullies didn't bully their victims because they were
jealous or out to get them, like most fictional works portray. They
probably couldn't even care less about them, from what Yamamoto
observed.

So what made him suddenly ponder about bullies and their impact on his
life? Well, it took a bit of work, but even meek ol' him managed to piss
a bully or two of his off enough to make him and his friends run after
him like sharks on a feeding frenzy.

He normally didn't give his bullies lip or even the time of day.
"Bullies 101" dictated that the fastest way to get bullies off of your
back was to ignore them. If you kept messing up or doing things that
would elicit their interest in you... like showcasing your embarrassing
awkwardness in front of the class in a bid to look "cool"... then you
were simply asking for trouble and you only had yourself to blame for
their continued harassment of you.

However, they did cross the line when they snatched away his cell phone
in the middle of his call with Seiko, even though she was "merely" the
alternate version of Okamoto. That was a definite dick move for them to
do, regardless of his status as a social pariah in his school.
Therefore, he ended up breaking the first commandment in dealing with
bullies. He couldn't help it. He couldn't ignore what they'd done.

"Who are you calling? Your mommy?" asked the lumbering, large-headed man
with a pimple-ridden face and donkey teeth. Matsuda was his name. He was
recently recruited as a promising rookie of the basketball club, but was
a novice through-and-through because he only knew so much about the
sport. His only advantage was that he was tall.

"Very funny, Matsuda. Can I get my phone back? I was in the middle of a
call," said Yamamoto, which in hindsight was a bad move, because it made
his bullies even more curious about what he had been up to. Stupid,
stupid. He should've just lied and said it was his mother or grandmother
calling.

"Oh, come on, Cherry Boy. We're pals, aren't we? And pals shouldn't lie
to each other," leered another one of Matsuda's pals, Ishiguro, who was
a gorilla with a wide forehead, a brow ridge as thick as a
Neanderthal's, and a chunky body to match his booming voice. He also
looked too old to be seventeen. If he were to claim that he was a coach
or a gym teacher, many would believe him.

"It's none of your business who I'm calling," Tomoyuki spouted. Another
mistake. In the face of alpha males, a beta male was supposed to
surrender to their superiority.

Oh wait, that was wrong. According to Machida, the beta male of a pack
served more as a henchman or a yes man to the alpha male (ergo, a
sycophant), although modern usage dictated otherwise. Perhaps he should
be called an "omega male" instead...?

"Oh, I've got to see this," a lean, rather female-looking fellow that,
as expected of someone of his looks, had a fangirl following to rival
that of even Sugata's grabbed hold of Yamamoto's cell phone.

"Aw, no fair, Kanemoto!" complained Matsuda with a smirk. "I was just
about to find out what secrets Cherry Boy is hiding from us. Maybe he's
phone pals with one of the first years. You know, the one that looks
like Matsuko Deluxe?"

Incidentally, Matsuko Deluxe was a plus-sized transvestite entertainer
in Japan that wrote articles and gossip columns regarding the state of
Japanese entertainment at present.

"Matsuko Deluxe? Isn't he the gay fat dude who K-Pop? He says it's a bad
imitation of U.S. pop music or something," chimed in Ishiguro. "That
video was hilarious, man! He got angry when this glasses-wearing Korean-
Japanese dude told him that K-Pop was even bigger than J-Pop because
it's able to chart on the U.S. Billboard! He went berserk afterwards!"

"Yeah, well I don't like K-Pop in Japan either. We have enough
manufactured pop stars as is," said Matsuda before he exposed his donkey
teeth at Ishiguro and brayed, "Oho. You seem to know a lot about Matsuko
Deluxe. Are you a big fan of his?"

"S-Shut up, Matsuda. I said I saw a video of him doing a rant about it
on YouTube," said Ishiguro defensively while looking away. His eyes and
Yamamoto's eyes met. "What are you looking at, Cherry Boy?" the beefy
teenager snarled, which prompted Tomoyuki to look away.

This was not good. This was not good at all.

"Oh, yeah! I know that first year, Matsuda! So are you phone pals with
the Matsuko Deluxe of Section 1C, Cherry Boy?" asked Kanemoto while
giving Yamamoto a noogie. "Way to go! If this keeps up and you play your
cards right, you won't be a Cherry Boy anymore!"

Both the Neanderthal-looking Ishiguro and the fat-headed Matsudo shut
their lips tight as they withheld their mirth. They were probably
imagining Tomoyuki and the overweight first year "doing it".
Nevertheless, Yamamoto should've just said yes to whatever it was that
Kanemoto was saying, so that they'd drop the whole thing and return his
phone.

Kanemoto looked like he was about to give back Tomoyuki's phone out of
disinterest. He knew he should've just let his bullies think whatever
they wanted to think. However, for some reason or another, he got
angrier than ever before.

Maybe the days he'd been spending with both Amazon Queens had gone to
his head and made him more arrogant than he had any right to be.

"I don't even know who you're talking about," Tomoyuki said in all
honesty while trying his hardest to hide the smugness in his voice. "I
wasn't calling any first years just now." He knew he said the exact
wrong thing after he heard the chuckles that both of Kanemoto's goons,
Matsuda and Ishiguro, were holding back die down in their throats.

"Now I'm intrigued," said Kanemoto as he snatched the phone back from
Yamamoto. "If it isn't one of the first years, then who could it be? It
couldn't be the Amazon Queen, because everyone knows you got punched out
by her when you confessed your love to her."

"That's really none of your business," was what the reddening Tomoyuki
said instead of "It was just a call from my mother, no big deal." He had
no idea what came over him. He should've known better than to let his
bullies get under his skin, knowing that this would complicate instead
of improve matters.

"Oh, I get it! Could it be the Class Rep?" asked Kanemoto as he made a
spectacle of checking Yamamoto's call history. Fortunately, Tomoyuki was
using a phone model that was about four years out of date, so the
pretty boy had a tough time dealing with the outdated controls. "Piece
of shit phone."

"Hey, come to think of it, he has been acting quite chummy around the
Class Rep lately," noted Ishiguro.

"They've been acting chummy _lately_? Try, 'Since they were in high
school'," corrected Matsuda. "Though knowing Cherry Boy's luck, I
could've sworn that the Class Rep also dumped him into the Friend Zone.
At least, that's what I heard from Iincho's other friends..."

Kanemoto rubbed his chin. "What if that changed somehow in the course of
a year?"

"...What? No!" snapped Yamamoto louder than he had intended. Everybody
had been pairing him up with Miku lately, even his bullies, that he
couldn't help but let his temper flare. "Just give me back my phone,
Kanemoto! I haven't called anyone important."

"So it _was_ the Class Rep you've been calling? It isn't enough that you
hang out with her every single say?" Ishiguro pointed out with a hyena's
laugh.

"Hey! I told you...!" Tomoyuki blurted out but the imposing, six-foot
presence of Matsuda made him go silent.

"You must be head over heels in love with Iincho. All the girls in our
year have already friendzoned you _including_ the Class Rep, yet you
chose to hang out with her the most. Is it because she's a shy girl who
actually tolerates your presence while you pathetically pretend in your
head that you have a chance with her or something?"

"...It's not like that! I-It's all a misunderstanding!"

Yamamoto stopped as Kanemoto put his hand on his shoulder and whispered
to his ear with a smirk, "I think I've figured it all out. It's not that
the Class Rep is in love with you or anything, it's you who's held out a
flame for her all this time, even though you've already been dumped. I
wonder what would happen if I revealed that little tidbit to the Iincho
in front of our class later on..."

Tomoyuki clenched his fist and gulped. Never before had he wanted to
punch someone so badly. He was no match against Kanemoto, though. Aside
from the fact that his two goons, Matsuda and Ishiguro, were flanking
him, he was also the captain of the judo club. The Cherry Boy didn't
stand a chance.

He then decided to finally calm down and say to Kanemoto, "Fine. You
win. You're right. It was Machida. She wanted to talk to me in secret
about some... something I wanted to write. I'm sorry if you
misunderstood."

Kanemoto guffawed and handed the phone back to Yamamoto. "Was that so
hard? The truth will set you free."

However, something happened then and there. What did Machida call it?
Those times whenever the worst possible scenario would happen?
"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong," and all that? Oh yeah, it
was Murphy's Law. Murphy's Law happened.

This time around, Murphy's Law manifested itself in the form of his
cell phone ringing. Tomoyuki was able to glance at the Caller ID. Sure
enough, it was AU Seiko calling him (listed as "Amazon Queen").

Yamamoto's heart then skipped a beat as he saw Kanemoto mouth the words,
"Amazon Queen...?" with a questioning glance as the Cherry Boy attempted
to snatch his cell phone back.

Tomoyuki's body moved on its own. With tears in his eyes, he swung his
fist at Kanemoto. As expected of the captain of the judo team, the
bishonen deflected the oncoming fist right at Matsuda, who had his own
clenched fists waiting for Yamamoto. From behind the big-headed six-
footer, the much "meatier" human gorilla known as Ishiguro cracked his
knuckles.

This wasn't the first time he'd been beaten up by the Three Stooges
before. Typically, their antics were "playful" enough for any wandering
teachers who saw them to wave it off as boyish horseplay. For example,
they slapped his back hard or punched him in the gut to keep his bruises
hidden by his clothes (unlike what happened to him and Seiko, wherein he
got a black eye, but at least she apologized for it).

Not that the teachers would ever do anything to stop bullying, as
evidenced by the cover-ups that one faculty did concerning the suicide
of a middle school boy in Southern Japan after he was systematically
bullied by his classmates.

The teachers there outright ignored the bullying or even laughed along
with the bullies. That was how Japan was when it came to bullying: It
was always the victim's fault, not the bullies, for not being able to
fit in with the crowd.

Nevertheless, through a stroke of luck (the devil's luck, perhaps,
judging by the consequences of his actions), Yamamoto's punch actually
landed on Matsuda. Not on his gigantic head (despite its large surface
area) because he was quite tall for a teen and he wasn't even crouching
down. Not on his midsection, although that wouldn't have fazed him.

No, Tomoyuki's fist landed square into the donkey-toothed and pimply
teenager's testicles.

'Oh shit.'

None of those three had anything to fear against the scrawny, ninety-
pounds-when-wet asthmatic before them. Matsuda still suffered from what
was essentially a sucker punch, though. To the nuts.

'I'm dead.'

After Kanemoto realized what had happened, he cackled at the doubled-
over Matsuda, who was clutching his family jewels and glaring at the
Cherry Boy, his head seemingly bigger (and redder) than before. Even
Ishiguro couldn't help but turn around and snort at his comrade's
plight.

Yamamoto turned off his phone, which effectively ended AU Seiko's
attempt at calling him back (who was either worried about him or furious
at him for cutting their earlier call short) and backed away slowly from
the trio, his eyes never leaving their forms all the while.

On the bright side, Tomoyuki was kind of glad he had hit Matsuda's
balls, even though it was by accident. The high school basketball player
was the one who hit him the strongest whenever they... Section 2B's
infamous troika... were "horsing around" with him, even though Ishiguro
was in the Boxing Club and Kanemoto was the captain of the Judo Club.

Granted, Yamamoto wasn't the only guy Matsuda picked on (he even ribbed
both Kanemoto and Ishiguro a couple of times when given the chance), but
that overgrown, big-headed galoot was the one who came up with the
"Cherry Boy" taunt and spread the word regarding the time when Tomoyuki
got a mistaken love confession sent to his phone.

Although Kanemoto did his own share of Cherry Boy bullying, at least he
showed that he couldn't care less about Tomoyuki most of the time. As
for Ishiguro, he usually joined in on the teasing whenever possible,
because he was both Kanemoto and Matsuda's "beta male".

Come to think of it, maybe Yamamoto's shot to Matsuda's nuts wasn't as
much of an accident as one would think.

Once Matsuda recuperated from the "accidental" low blow (while both
Kanemoto and Ishiguro recovered from their mirth), he smiled at Tomoyuki
with grit teeth. The word that came out of his clenched jaw was simple.

"Run."

Yamamoto obliged. The chase was on.


===


Next: The Bully Hunter.

This story isn't out to make a statement about how bullying is wrong
(Should that obvious statement need to be made?) or how well Japan deals
with bullying. If anything, the only reason it was included here is that
it exists. No high school in Japan or anywhere in the world is without
bullies and the children who get victimized by them.

Farewell,
Abdiel
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