[FFML] [orig] Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko Chapter 3: Where Do We Go From Here?

[Abdiel]

Last time on "Keit-Ai! Tomoyuki x Seiko"...

Tomoyuki Yamamoto got the cell phone number of his crush, Seiko Okamoto,
and they confessed each other's love on the phone. However, it turned
out that the number wasn't from her but from an alternate universe
version of her.

From there, Alternate Universe (AU) Seiko gave Tomoyuki a piece of her
mind after realizing he wasn't the Tomoyuki she was pining for, unaware
of the fact that she was calling the alternate universe version of her
own crush.

"How do you know so much about Yamamoto-kun? How do you know so much
about _me_? Are you his cousin or estranged twin or something? How dare
you play with the feelings of a pure maiden like that!" ranted Seiko.

"If you would just listen..." pleaded Tomoyuki.

"NO! YOU LISTEN, BUSTER! I believed that you were Yamamoto-kun, and you
_lied_ to me! If I ever see you face-to-face, I will rip your lying lips
right off your mouth! I have half the mind to block this number from my
cell altogether!"

She wouldn't listen. If he were in her shoes, he probably wouldn't
listen either. The idea of two people from alternate universes talking
to one another was in and of itself insane. He didn't quite believe in
the theory either, and the person who suggested it, Machida, thought he
was making a sci-fi love story about it.

But he had to try, because if the AU Seiko were to cut communications
with him forever, the real Seiko would forever be out of his grasp. She
was the one Seiko Okamoto... the one girl, in fact... who actually
returned his feelings for her, however brief it was.

That was what prompted him to talk over Okamoto and say, "What if I told
you I'm the real Yamamoto Tomoyuki? What if I told you that you weren't
mistaken at all?"

"Oh, give it a rest already! I'm looking at the real Yamamoto Tomoyuki
right this instant, and he's not holding a cell phone. You really must
have some nerve to think I'd still fall for your cockamamie...!"

"No, not that Yamamoto Tomoyuki. I'm a Yamamoto Tomoyuki of another
universe. From an alternate reality that's just like yours, but
different."

"...I'm hanging up. Never call me again. I'm blocking your phone
number."

"WAIT! Can you really risk cutting off your one chance of winning over
the Yamamoto of your universe?" Tomoyuki asked, and for the longest
time, Seiko didn't answer.

She then hung up on him.


========================================================================


Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko
An Anime-Inspired Original Story from 4chan's /a/ Board
By Abdiel
Original Idea by Hataki
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/3206139/

What would you do if your crush who confessed his or her love to you is
instead the alternate universe version of the person you're infatuated
with?


========================================================================

Chapter 3: Where Do We Go From Here?

========================================================================


Tomoyuki's cell phone clattered on the pavement after it slipped from
his trembling grasp. It was still functional afterwards, but he didn't
really care at that point.

She hung up on him. AU Seiko hung up on him. She didn't believe him.
Well, he didn't totally believe the explanation he gave to her either,
but... Ah, who was he kidding? Who could blame her for thinking that he
was lying or crazy?

The whole thing was too ridiculous to believe. The more he thought about
it, the less sense it made. How much money did interdimensional calls
cost anyway? How was it possible to call from dimension to dimension?

Were aliens responsible for this? Did Doraemon, the futuristic robot cat
of Nobita, secretly hand Yamamoto a transdimensional phone that allowed
communication from across dimensions?

Could it be that he believed the story too easily because he wanted it
to be true so badly, he'd accept any explanation for what had happened
between him and "AU" Seiko, no matter how farfetched it was?

Anyway, it was over. The only version of Seiko who was actually in love
with him had essentially dumped him, just like the Seiko of his
universe. He might as well delete that number of hers from his contact
list, because he was never, ever going to hear from her again.

The real Seiko had friendzoned him, thinking that Miku Machida, the
Class Rep and his next-door neighbor, was in love with him, unaware that
Miku herself had given him the Friend Zone Speech too.

Okamoto was probably in love with her fellow former Hiroshima resident
and childhood friend Kazuhito Sugata, who himself was showing some
romantic interest (probably) for Machida instead.

And now AU Okamoto had broken all ties with him by hanging up and
blocking his number. He really was going to end up forever alone. He'd
never get laid within his lifetime. No wonder he was called the Cherry
Boy of Section 2B.

He might as well become like those creepy otaku virgins Machida told him
about that lurked in message boards and had life-sized pillows with the
images of sexy female anime characters emblazoned on them.

At times, those losers (Did he have the _right_ to call them that,
though?) even "married" the fictional "2D" characters they saw from
anime, calling them their "waifu".

Even fujoshi like Machida didn't want anything to do with those sad,
pathetic individuals, and that was saying _a lot_. On the other hand,
the Class Rep herself had mentioned time and again her love for 2D too,
so she might not be any better than those lonely nerds.

Maybe getting a "waifu" was the best course of action for Yamamoto.
After all, a 2D wife would never judge him, misunderstand him, or betray
him. Could a fictional character love him back like a real girl, though?
Or was he essentially indulging in another form of masturbation?

Afterwards, the phone chimed. He answered it, but no one answered back.
He looked at his cell phone and slapped his forehead. It was a text
message

After deciding to finally change his ring tone so that it'd sound
different from the music it made when he got mail, he went into his
inbox to see who had mailed him, his chest pounding as he sweated
bullets.

"Let's say what you're saying is true. What now? Where do we go from
here?" AU Seiko texted him.

He hadn't really thought about that.

Lunch break came and went. The next subject was Physics, and Class 2B
was assigned to do some lab work. Naturally, he was again partnered with
Machida, as usual. At any rate, he still didn't know how to answer AU
Seiko's challenge.

"How's your story going, Yamamoto-kun?" whispered the bespectacled
Machida. "You know, the one about transdimensional lovers."

Great timing. Yesterday, he and Miku discussed what was going on with
him and this other Seiko, and the Class Rep thought he was talking about
some sort of story idea or screenplay. Maybe he could get answers from a
writer's or a woman's perspective.

"I'm at the part where AU Okamoto called me back, but she's really angry
because she found out that I'm not the Tomoyuki from her universe. Also,
she still has no idea about the alternate universe thing," he began.

After she heard the whole story, the Class Rep crossed her arms and
nodded. "Interesting. She doesn't believe that you're actually the AU
version of the Yamamoto-kun she knows, and you have a hard time proving
that fact. Nevertheless, she still gave you a bone and asked where you
two should go from here."

"What do you think?" asked Tomoyuki as he helped Miku set up the light
box they were making to find out about refraction or something. "I mean,
she's not the real Okamoto, so what's the point of talking to her? If
she's from another dimension, I won't be able to meet with her. Having a
relationship with an AU Okamoto is painful; it's like having a long-
distance relationship or marrying one of those "2D waifu" you've talked
to me about."

"Can't talk right now. Box on my head," said the Class Rep.

"Er, we're supposed to wear that inside the dark room, or else it
wouldn't work," reminded Yamamoto while wiping the chagrined bead of
sweat on his forehead.

"Oh, right. Well, the answer to your plot-related problems should be
obvious! You can help each other win over the affections of your AU
selves."

"...What? Come again?"

"Think about it. Even though AU Yamamoto-kun is a bit different from
you, you still have a lot of things in common too, right? AU Seiko-chan
can help you out with your hopeless love with the Seiko-chan of your
universe... and vice-versa with her hopeless love with the Yamamoto-kun
of her universe! It's the classic matchmaking story!"

"You're absolutely right," said the mind-blown Yamamoto as he used the
table to steady himself. "That's brilliant. As expected of our Class
Rep."

"Hey, if you're going to keep asking me these questions, you might as
well give me co-writing credit for your story," said Miku while nudging
Tomoyuki's ribs.

"Fine, fine. Anything you want! I could even kiss you right now!"

"...."

"...Uh, metaphorically speaking," he appended as he averted Machida's
gaze. Well, _that_ was awkward. As he scanned the room, he chanced upon
the eyeballs of another lab pair... a glaring Sugata and a beaming
Okamoto.

Seiko... the Seiko of his universe... winked and gave him a thumb's up
sign. Tomoyuki felt his heart twinge and ache; Okamoto's support to his
nonexistent romance with Machida was like a pinprick to his soul.

A little after Physics Class, when their experiment was over (Yamamoto
and his partner had the highest grade because, as usual, the Class Rep
was brilliant with such things, despite her absentmindedness at times),
his messages to AU Seiko came pouring in.

"I've been thinking about it all day. If you're the alternate universe
version of Okamoto, then what's the point of calling you?" was one such
message.

"Even though you're in love with me, you're still not the Okamoto that I
can actually interact with," was another message.

"In turn, you can't interact with me either. We might as well not exist.
We only know each other through text and voice," was yet another
message.

"The only way our relationship can work is if we can make our other
selves fall in love with us. What do you say?" he propositioned.

"Think about it. I know your crush better than anyone else in your
world. You know my crush better than anyone else in my world too. Even
if you don't believe me, can you really let go of this chance?"

He waited all afternoon till dismissal time for a response. He could
barely concentrate on any of his classes. He was sure he flunked
English Class, at the very least.

The bell rang. There was neither a call nor a message from the other
Okamoto.

It was all over.


===


Tomoyuki was in the middle of sullenly eating the TV dinner his mother
and father left as they went out on a movie date on a school night when
his phone rang.

His plate almost broke as he made a mad dash to his room.

"Hello, Okamoto?"

"Hello, Yamamoto-kun's cousin who sounds like him."

He sighed in relief and collapsed on the floor, his back resting against
his room's door. He realized later that AU Seiko called him during the
evening, which was the same time he called her for the first time, like
clockwork.

"You still don't believe me, huh?" asked Yamamoto.

"Can you blame me?" rejoined Okamoto.

"No. Not really. I can barely believe it myself."

"So you're admitting it was a lie?"

"No, I didn't say that. I'm merely saying that I have a hard time
believing that theory too, but it's also the only one that makes the
most sense, weirdly enough."

"How can you not know how you got my number, Mister AU Yamamoto-kun?"
she demanded. "You were the one who called me!"

"I swear, I have no idea how it happened. All I know is that here you
are, and here I am, and we're basically talking to the alternate
versions of our... crushes."

After half a minute, the other Seiko said, "You can't be serious."

"I'm dead fucking serious," said Tomoyuki. "Oh, and don't bother hunting
me down to maim me like you threatened earlier. You'll never find me
anywhere in the Tokyo of your universe."

"Why? Is it because you're located somewhere in Hokkaido? You sound like
a kidnapper or some other criminal."

"Oh, sorry. That's not my intention. Anyway, even if you have my number
traced, you won't locate me in Hokkaido or anywhere else in Japan, your
world, or your universe. My phone number probably isn't supposed to
exist over there, like your number would to my world... I suppose."

"You're really sticking to this cockamamie story of yours? That's some
dedication you have there, Mister Stalker. Even _I_ could come up with a
better, more logical lie than that!"

Yamamoto sighed. He didn't expect Seiko would be so obstinate about not
believing Machida's alternate universe theory. Maybe he should be more
surprised at how easily he came to accept that hypothesis as fact. Up
until now, it still sounded like something out of the movies or a comic
book.

Afterwards, Seiko gave Tomoyuki her ultimatum. "If you really are
Yamamoto-kun, then prove it. Tell me something only I and Yamamoto-kun
know."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? I have no idea what Okamoto
knows about me, much less what you know about the other me back in your
own universe!"

Okamoto groaned. "Okay, fine. Tell me something that only Yamamoto-kun
knows, and I'll double-check it with him. Something no one else, not
even Miku-chin, his parents, or his cousin who won't admit to his
wrongdoing would know."

Tomoyuki gulped. "Y-You do realize that your Yamamoto may have _totally_
different experiences from me, right?"

He remembered that AU Seiko was surprised to hear that he had the
nickname of Cherry Boy, which meant it was possible that AU Tomoyuki
never experienced the same kind of rejection from women he did.

"DO IT! Do it or you'll never hear from me again!" threatened Seiko.

"All right! ALL RIGHT! Um... I have asthma on top of allergies."

"I already learned that from Miku-chin. Try again."

"I used to play with cheap plastic clothespins and turned them into
ships that combined into super robots or a really long enemy robot
snake!"

"Lots of kids do that! One last chance!"

"I, I, I... my earliest memory as a child was that I used to put on my
mother's clothing and parade around like a little girl wishing she was
Miss Universe!"

"...."

Dammit, what was he thinking? If Seiko texted his other self that he
cross-dressed, he'd never admit to it in a million years. "You know
what, forget about..."

"Hold on for a minute. I'll call you right back."

"Hey, wait...!" It was too late. She hung up. Even if she called or
messaged his other self, knowing him, he'd deny that embarrassing fact
till the cows came home. Or worse, maybe he'd never had such tendencies
as he did. What was he thinking?

A minute later, as promised, Seiko called back. "How did you know that?
Are you sure you're not some sort of older cousin, uncle, or auntie of
Yamamoto-kun who saw him parade around in a dress?"

"Listen to yourself! Of course I'm not his auntie! I'm not his uncle or
cousin either, we barely meet each other except on holidays, if at all!"

"Hmm. That's what the real Yamamoto-kun said too..."

"Hey, how were you able to force him to confess that? That was an
embarrassing secret I'd take to my grave, if I were him! The only
reason I told you is because I was desperate."

"Simple. I told him that _Miku-chin_ told me that he wore girl's
clothing when he was younger."

"...Oh."

"The first thing he asked me is how did Miku-chin find out, because he
never told her that. Ever. He even asked if his parents told her or
not. He might be frantically texting Miku-chin right at this moment,
demanding the truth."

"Huh."

"I couldn't stop laughing when I read his message. He even called me
to confirm! He was panicking. Serves him right for always obsessing
about Miku-chin even in the middle of our conversations. Now I know
something even his precious Machida Miku doesn't know."

"G-Good for you, I guess." On the bright side, no one in Tomoyuki's
universe would ever find out his dark secret, because the person he
confessed it to was someone who lived a reality away.

"...So just who are you really, Cherry Boy?"

"Like I said, to you, I'm the alternate universe version of Yamamoto
Tomoyuki."

"I still can't believe it."

"Neither can I, but this is the best answer we've got for now barring
alien body snatchers."

"I hear ya."

There was a pregnant pause between the both of them.

Okamoto was the first one to break the ice. "What now?"

"I don't know. I guess... um, I'm sorry for pissing you off yesterday
for mentioning Sugata."

"Oh, that. No, no, it's all right. It's not your fault. If you really
are another version of Yamamoto-kun, you couldn't have known about what
happened to Kazu-kun."

"Uh... so what did happen to him?" he ventured.

"I guess you have the right to know. I forced you to reveal some
embarrassing stuff about yourself, so I suppose it's my turn. Kazu-kun
was my first love in Hiroshima."

"AHA! I knew it!" Tomoyuki couldn't help but exclaim.

"Did my... um... 'other' self have a crush on Kazu-kun too?"

"Not only a crush, she has a continuing 'relationship' with him. You and
Sugata... I mean, her and _our_ Sugata were the poster children for the
manga cliche of 'childhood friends'. Half of the time, people keep
stopping and asking them if they're already dating. Both deny it
vehemently, of course. Oh, and she doesn't call him Kazu-kun. She calls
him Furyou-kun instead."

"Furyou... as in a Yankee? A delinquent? _That_ country bumpkin?"
Tomoyuki could almost imagine AU Seiko shaking her head in dismay.
"People really tend to change when they end up in the big city, don't
they? Oh, and what about me? Did I change too?"

"What are you talking about? You and your other self are both in Tokyo,
and you both act the exact same way! Same fast temper! Same forgiving
nature!" remarked Yamamoto.

He knew the AU Seiko was also as forgiving as the Seiko he knew, because
if she wasn't, then that conversation he had with her while he lounged
around the rooftop would've been their last.

"Huh. So do I practice judo there too, or...?"

"Karate, actually. In fairness, the judo club was quite saddened by your
counterpart's decision to become part of the karate club instead," said
Tomoyuki. "Hey, so what happened to Sugata? Why didn't he end up in
Tokyo with you?"

"He moved along with me during the first year, but he had to move back.
The economy is bad in our universe, so he was forced to quit school and
help out his family back in Hiroshima."

"Speaking of Hiroshima, did... you know... the atomic bombing of Japan
in World War II happen there? How about the black ships of Commodore
Perry? Or even the Sengoku Era?"

"All of those events happened in my world too, although I do find it
weird you have a different area code system from ours. Is that the only
difference between our two universes?" she wondered.

"Well, what happened to the Japanese economy on your dimension? Right
here, it's perfectly fine. America is getting antsy by our progress,
though."

"Ever heard of the Bubble Economy? The Lost Decade of Japan? The
Japanese economic drop and stagnation throughout the Nineties and the
Turn of the Millennium? We were just discussing that during our Social
Studies class."

"Nope, can't say I have. Sounds terrible," said Yamamoto. "To be honest,
even if we talked about the differences and similarities of our
universes all day, we wouldn't be able to cover everything."

"I can't help but talk about it anyway, dude." Seiko guffawed. "If what
you're saying is true, then it's cool to talk to a person from another
dimension that's so different yet so similar from my own. Awesome,
even!"

'Oh my god, she's so cute when she's all excited!' Tomoyuki cleared his
throat out of embarrassment and promptly put his foot in his mouth. "So
that we won't waste time, let's talk about something specific for now,
like Sugata."

The coldness of AU Seiko's voice somehow made the temperature of
Yamamoto's own room go down several notches. "You're pretty insistent
about topic."

"Sorry, but I'm having my own Sugata-related problems in this universe."

"I'm sorry too... I was deliberately trying to change the subject."
Seiko took a deep breath. "When he got back to Hiroshima, he made up
with Megu-chin, and they're now engaged."

"Wait. Who's 'Megu-chin'?" asked Tomoyuki.

"She's another childhood friend of mine from Hiroshima. We three were
inseparable back in the day. I was the tomboy of the group, and she's a
lot more girly than I am, so..."

"...He ended up falling for her instead of you."

"And then I met you and Miku-chin. You were the ones who are always
there for me when I was adjusting to Tokyo life. However, as you can
imagine, history has repeated itself. I'm now friends with my crush and
his crush _yet again_. The pony-tailed tomboy always seems to end up the
best friend, not the girlfriend."

Well, that went awkward really fast. No wonder she wanted to change the
subject. If she knew that the Machida in his universe had somehow
charmed their version of Sugata, she'd be doubly upset.

"Oh, that's right! Sugata mentioned something to me about having a
girlfriend back in Hiroshima, even though girls all over our class and
other classes are swooning over him. He's a really nice guy."

He proceeded to get a book and slam it repeatedly on his head. Yeah,
that was a great way to change the subject. Bring up the fact that
Sugata was a sought-after playboy who regularly broke the heart of his
universe's Seiko.

Thankfully, instead of hanging up, Seiko said, "Oh, so in your universe,
you've met Kazu-kun? And he didn't hook up with Megu-chin? Well, that
explains a lot."

"That was rude of me. I apologize for bringing him up again when clearly
you still have feelings for him," said Tomoyuki.

"Oh no, it's probably your universe's Seiko that has feelings for Kazu-
kun. I've been over him since first year high school. The only reason I
hung up on you when you mentioned him is because I thought you were the
Yamamoto-kun whom I told about these things, so it was painful to hear
you mock my failed relationship. Believe me, that ship has sailed."

"Oh. As expected of Section 2B's Amazon Queen. Tough as nails," praised
Yamamoto before what Okamoto said to him next made his ears and cheeks
become hot enough to pop corn kernels.

"I'm now in love with someone else entirely, Cherry Boy."

He didn't quite know what to say to that. "Is that the reason why you
gave me a second chance?"

Quietly, the AU Okamoto answered, "I couldn't bring myself to block your
number, much less delete it. Even if you aren't the Yamamoto-kun I know
or fell in love with, you're the closest I have to him loving me back."

Tomoyuki wiped his eyes while giggling at what Seiko said even though it
wasn't remotely funny. He then remembered the thumbs up and smile Seiko
gave him for clowning around with Machida earlier in Physics Class. "I
could say the same thing about you."

"AUGH! Why can't you be the Yamamoto-kun of this universe instead of the
one who's head over heels in love with Machida?"

"I hear you, sister. Damn, I wish you and my universe's version of
Okamoto would exchange places, as selfish as that may sound."

"You're preaching to the choir here, bro!"

They laughed together so hard, they almost cried. What a tragedy. A
well-disguised blessing that bordered on a curse. The crushes they could
meet wouldn't even give them the time of day, while the crushes that
returned their affections literally didn't exist in their respective
universes.

"What do we do now? Where do we go from here? Were you serious when you
messaged me that we'd help each other get our crushes?" asked Seiko.

"Actually, that was Machida's idea," answered Tomoyuki.

"Miku-chin knows about this alternate universe nonsense?"

"Oh, she didn't _really_ think I was talking to an AU Okamoto. Machida
thought I was describing to her the plot of a sci-fi screenplay I'm
writing. I simply never corrected her on her presumptions."

"That's rather sneaky of you," Seiko appraised. "So wait, she's also the
sci-fi nut representative of your class that loves gay-themed comic
books, right?"

"...You know about Machida's secret?" asked Tomoyuki.

"It isn't a secret over here. In fact, there are times when I wish she'd
be more discreet about her fangirlism. So she's also the class rep over
there in your corner of... um... your alternate universe?" asked Seiko.

"Yup."

"And your neighbor?"

"U-huh."

"Who has sleepovers in your room from time to time?"

"...Uh, yes?"

"Iiinteresting."

Yamamoto didn't like where the conversation was headed. He almost said,
"It's not what you think!" but that almost always never helped the
situation. Instead, he brought up, "The Okamoto I know probably heard
about the sleepovers and thought immediately that Machida and I were a
couple. It's so frustrating."

"I don't blame my other self for thinking that. You two sound like
you're already married," Seiko noted while Yamamoto inwardly groaned.

He inwardly rejoiced too. He _wished_ that the Seiko in his world would
react to his relationship with Machida with jealousy.

"_Anyway_, it's not my relationship with Machida you should be worried
about, but my other self's relationship with the other Machida. The AU
Machida. You know what I'm talking about."

"Question," probed Seiko, "Are you sure you aren't enamored in any way
by Miku-chin?"

Tomoyuki considered that. "This is going to sound horrible, so brace
yourself. I have as close of a relationship to Machida as you have with
your universe's Sugata."

"Ouch. You're right. That did burn."

"Told you."

"Thanks. I get it now. Sorry for acting so petty..."

"No, no. I quite enjoyed it. Talking to you about Machida is like
walking through glass. It's great!"

"...What do you mean, Cherry Boy?"

"You're the exact opposite of the Okamoto of my universe in that
regard; she keeps cheering me on whenever she thinks Machida and I are
making headway in our 'relationship'. It's refreshing to see an Okamoto
that's jealous for a change."

Seiko went silent for half a minute.

"Hmmm. You have quite the hurdle to overcome with your universe's me,"
she said. "She might still be enamored with Sei-kun. I can't imagine him
going through a bad boy Yankee phase as you described, but knowing me,
I'm sure I'll be there to try to 'change' him or some nonsense."

"Speaking of Yankee, did you know he's blond now?"

Seiko guffawed so hard, she snorted. "Oh my goodness, really? Do you
have a picture of it? Send it to me now! Your Amazon Queen demands it!"

"...Aaand it's sent," said Tomoyuki.

"Oh. My. God." Yamamoto could almost imagine AU Okamoto doubling over in
hilarity. "My sides!"

Their subsequent laughter was so loud and obnoxious that they were both
grounded for a week by their parents from making any more phone calls.

So they sent each other constant text messages instead for the rest of
the week. One particular message from AU Seiko brightened up Yamamoto's
day.

"I wish you were here, Cherry Boy. I know you can make your universe's
Seiko fall in love with you. I'm speaking from firsthand experience
here."


===


On Monday, a weekend after Tomoyuki and AU Seiko were grounded from
calling each other...

"That was not cool," Sugata said in between the early morning classes of
Section 2B. "How could you, Cherry Boy? I thought we were bros! Bros
before hos, man!"

"W-What's not cool?" asked Yamamoto while holding back his chuckles,
remembering the "badass" picture of an blond Kazuhito he sent to Seiko's
phone.

He probably had no reason to laugh because he'd known Sugata as blond
for the longest time, but AU Seiko's laughter was so infectious that he
couldn't help but see the ridiculousness of the supposed heartthrob's
face.

"Are you making fun of me? What's with that smirk of yours?" growled
Kazuhito as he grabbed hold of Tomoyuki's collar and raised him up,
which prompted the Cherry Boy to force his chortles down.

"I have no idea why you're angry with me, but I'm sorry," said Yamamoto
as sincerely as he could. "What's on your mind?"

Sugata deflated and relaxed his body as he slumped with his back on the
wall. "Sorry, Cherry Boy. But I have to ask, what's your relationship
with the Class Rep? Are you two dating already? No fair!"

"What? Dating? No! We're not! She only sees me as a friend," assured
Yamamoto. "I told you, Machida doesn't respond well to people who'd do
something as underhanded as get their cell phone number from someone
else. She's easy enough to talk to. If you want to get her number, you
should go ask her for it."

"OUCH!" yelped Kazuhito as someone twisted his ear. "YOU CRAZY NEWHALF
BITCH! LEGGO MY EAR!"

"Oh, hi, Yamamoto-kun! Don't mind Furyou-kun over here, we were just
leaving," said the Amazon Queen with wave as she led the raging Kazuhito
back into his seat.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, Okamoto." Tomoyuki sighed. How he wished he got the AU
Seiko in his class instead of his universe's Seiko. At least _she_ wasn't
desperately trying to push him towards having a relationship with a girl
who didn't see him that way.

"Stop meddling into other people's relationships, you goddamn Yankee!"

"THAT'S MY LINE, YOU OVERBEARING DYKE! Hey, Cherry Boy! You better ain't
lying about that friend zone with the Class Rep!"

"Like I said, it's not what you think! And don't call it a friend zone!"
Yamamoto called after Sugata. The Cherry Boy turned in time to see a
faintly smiling Miku from behind him. "Oh, Class Rep. What's the
matter?"

"Oh. No, no, no!" Machida waved her hands around. "I want to apologize
to you for getting you involved with my... issues with Sugata-kun. I'm
sorry he's been bothering you about me all this time," she said as she
rapped her knuckles on her head and stuck her tongue out cutely.

"Oh, okay," said Yamamoto. "Well? Should I tell him or would you rather
be the one to spill the beans?"

She blinked. "Say what to whom now?"

"You know. Sugata. Will you let him down easy or just tell him straight
out?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Tell him what?"

He moved his lips near enough for him to smell her shampoo and whispered
in her ear, "Tell him that you don't see guys that way. The only ones
you're attracted to are 2D characters."

As Tomoyuki moved back, he saw Miku turn red all over. It was either
she was having another one of her fujoshi fantasies at the mention of
her 2D obsessions, or she could've been more attracted to Sugata than he
initially thought.

Tomoyuki's stomach twisted at the prospect of her actually considering
Kazuhito to be viable boyfriend material, but he quickly waved the
thought off because he realized she'd sooner pair him and Sugata
together than have the latter end up as her lover.

He should relax. Their days of lounging around in the classroom or in
his room talking about all sorts of nonsense regarding boy's love
comics, the state of the anime industry at present (wherein producers
excessively pander to the otaku fanbase), and the growing movement of
fujoshi in events like Comiket (which was once the safe haven of smelly,
overweight or reed-thin anime and manga otaku) were far from over.

"Iiinteresting," Yamamoto remembered AU Okamoto drawl, which also
rustled his jimmies, for lack of a better term.

Was he asking too much from his friendship with Machida? Even though she
never saw him "that way" and immediately rejected his advances... his
"Cherry Boy" reputation had already spread by then... he kept being her
friend because she was easy to talk to about trivial things.

All the other girls who offered their friendship to him after rejecting
him, he never talked to again. Besides, when he found out she was
(literally) the girl next door, things became even more convenient.
Essentially, she was a friend with no benefits.

Wait, that didn't sound right...

She'd been there for him through thick and thin, and she even managed to
help him stop some of his creepier habits, like giving girls lingering
stares, his aggressive body language, and his overzealousness when it
came to text messaging (he used to text by the hundreds). As such, she
was a friend with benefits after all.

That didn't sound right either.

Then again, his AU self was head over heels in love with the AU Machida.
He wasn't totally surprised in regards to that development. After all,
his friendship started with the real Machida because he was attracted to
her.

However, the blossoming romance between his other self and the other
Miku was probably because the Class Rep in that universe _wasn't_ as
humongous of a "rotten girl" who loved fictional characters over real
ones as the Miku he knew.

Probably.

Miku adjusted her thick glasses, the white glare hiding her eyes. She
covered her mouth and whispered, "That's right. Only the pureness of 2D
love is enough for me, Yamamoto-kun. I'm glad you understand that." She
beamed and gave him a peace sign.

He breathed a sigh of relief. At least _Machida_ knew what "the deal"
was between them.


===


After PE class, as Tomoyuki changed clothes and retrieved his cell phone
from his locker, he received several text messages.

First, there was Sugata, begging him to tell Machida he wasn't stalking
her or anything (he must've overheard their discussion earlier). What a
lady-killer indeed.

Then there was the "real" Seiko, who sent him a message that read,
"Miku-chin is a bit shy and can't express herself well. However, you
two are already close. You only need to take the next step!"

His universe's Seiko seemed quite good at poking at the scabs of his
wounded heart by accident. Maybe he should give up and be satisfied with
the fact that somewhere out there, in a parallel universe among many
other universes, there was a Seiko Okamoto who actually loved him, or at
least another him.

Wow, that sounded really pathetic.

"What's up, Cross-Dresser?" AU Seiko greeted through a text message. "I
guess you're the one who's the okama now."

_This_ Seiko wasn't any better than his Seiko _at all_.

He texted, "Whatever you say, _Okamato_."

She texted back, "Oooh, so _that's_ how you spell 'Okamato', Cherry Boy.
So what's going on with you?" She seemed in good spirits.

"Nothing much. Just finished PE class. I might flunk it. How about you?"

"Looks like AU Yamamoto-kun is as clumsy and wimpy as the real one.
Makes me wonder what it is I saw in either of you," she texted.

"Hehehe," he texted back.

She continued. "Your counterpart in my world kept begging me to tell him
how I knew about his prepubescent cross-dressing days. He swore me to
secrecy. I decided to give him a bone by telling him a secret of mine."

Dammit. No fair. She worked fast! She was already making more progress
in her relationship woes than he was with his?

"How about the other me? Have you wooed her yet?" she texted.

"No luck on that front. She's still clinging to your first love like
white on rice. First love never dies, huh?"

"Hmm. I expected as much. You need to make my other self see you're a
better catch."

"I don't see how. The only reason you want the other me is because you
were dumped by the other Sugata!" retorted Tomoyuki.

"What the hell, dude? Have a bit more delicacy when bringing up
sensitive topics like that! No wonder you're still a virgin," snapped AU
Seiko.

'Yeah, well, the only reason you got to talk to AU Yamamoto is because I
told you an embarrassing secret about him!' was what he didn't text to
her because he was now practicing how to be more prudent in his words,
just as she suggested.

Instead, he sent, "Wait a minute, I want to know the secret you told my
other self too!"

"That's between me and your other self, buddy!" she texted, followed by
a heart sign using the less than symbol and the number three.

"That's unfair!"

"Life usually is."

Forgetting himself, Tomoyuki's next messages came in bunches.

"It looks like unlike you, I won't be getting my crush. That blond
childhood friend of yours is too much of a hurdle."

"How am I supposed to impress the Okamoto in my world if she's still
head over heels in love with someone you've admitted to be your first
love?

"Maybe it's for the best that things go on this way. I hope you don't
end up like me, stuck in a dead end, in love with someone I can never
have.

"I mean, she did it again! She's still insisting that I and Machida
should hook up, probably so Sugata wouldn't end up dating the Class
Rep instead!"

After a minute or so, AU Seiko provided her two yen's worth in the
conversation.

"Hey, I'm in the same boat too, you know. Your messages sound _exactly_
like what the Yamamoto-kun in my world would say, except replace
'Okamoto' with 'Machida'.

"Thank the gods you both have a basic inability to spit your true
feelings out, or else it'd be really over.

"I'm surprised you were even able to confess your feelings to _me_.

"Also, I'm sorry to say, but hooking you and Miku-chin up sounds
_exactly_ like something I'd do.

"As underhanded as that might sound, hooking up Megu-chin with another
guy was my last ditch effort to get Kazu-kun to dump her."

So there was his confirmation of Okamoto's plans right there. Damn, he
sure wished he could call instead of just text AU Seiko right then, but
his mother actually said she'd check on his call history in case he
decided to call her in the middle of school.

He texted another bunch of messages in one go.

"I knew it. What do I do now? Your other self has her sights trained on
Sugata, and you yourself know how stubborn she could get.

"Even Machida got involved in this debacle. Sugata has been asking me
for her phone number nonstop. She probably overheard him asking me if we
were a couple too.

"That's silly, because the Machida in my universe is only in love with
fictional male characters who bone each other. She never once showed any
interest in real-life boys, much less me. Not that she'd admit her
tendency to anyone..."

AU Seiko took some time to respond, but she eventually sent, "Let me
get this straight. Sugata doesn't know that Machida is a fujoshi?"

"_No one_ in our class knows," he texted back. "It's our little secret,
because in our universe, revealing that you're a fujoshi or an otaku
will spell the end of your social life."

She answered, "That's fascinating, because that means not only has she
slept in your room multiple times, you also know something about her
that no one else does as well."

What was she implying? "Yeah. And...?"

"You know, it's rather ironic how you keep complaining about being a
Cherry Boy and getting friendzoned when you yourself have a penchant
for friendzoning other people," AU Seiko's latest text message read.

Now what did she mean by that? Also, at the back of Yamamoto's head, he
was still quite curious about what secret Seiko shared with his
alternate universe counterpart.


===


During the last few classes that Monday, before dismissal time...

Tomoyuki didn't feel like texting AU Seiko for a while. Not only was the
_real_ Okamoto currently harping him regarding Machida, but so was her
AU self.

What was with them? Seriously. They should stop presuming things about
people they barely knew.

Maybe he should show them how wrong they were by him "confessing" his
unrequited feelings for Machida and recording the same blank, uncaring
reaction she gave him the first time he did so.

Except he kind of didn't. If Machida thought that he'd been hanging out
with her and learning her deepest, darkest secrets because he had a
hidden agenda or ulterior motives (he didn't), then their friendship
could very well end. She was too important a friend for him to abandon
like that for the sake of romance.

If she really was in love with him, then he'd know. He wasn't one of
those dense anime or manga main characters who had someone fall for them
right under their nose. This was real life, dammit. If she really was in
love with him, he'd be her boyfriend in a heartbeat.

He'd never admit that to either version of Seiko, though.

But what if the Class Rep _really_ was in love with him? Who would he
choose? Seiko or Miku?

Practically speaking, the answer should be obvious. Seiko was nice to
him, but so were all the rest of the girls that friendzoned him. She was
far too in love with Sugata to ever take notice of him.

But what about AU Seiko and Miku?

Obviously, he'd never meet AU Seiko in real life, while Miku had always
been there for him. Even though the class representative wasn't his
childhood friend, they might as well have been. Even if she wasn't
romantically into him, he couldn't imagine life without her.

Dammit, because of all this talk of Miku, even he had begun to want her
to see him "that way".

"It's best that you start going out with Miku-chin instead. I only see
you as a friend," he remembered the real Seiko saying that fateful
Thursday last week.

"I'm sorry about my text earlier. I crossed the line," texted AU Seiko
around the time the last class for the day started, which woke him up
from his idle (and dangerous) reverie. Luckily, he'd set his phone in
silent mode in case she texted in the middle of class.

He breathed a sigh of relief. At last, one of the Seikos he knew gave
him a break. "You don't need to apologize," he texted while the
teacher's back was turned away from the class. After all, she didn't
know better.

"As a token of my regret, I'm going to tell you my embarrassing secret
that your counterpart in my universe already knows about."

Well, this could be interesting. "I'll keep that secret to my grave.
I'll even delete that message of yours so that no one in this universe
or beyond would ever know its existence."

She expressed her laughter in text message shorthand. "Okay, here goes."

Tomoyuki didn't expect much. Maybe she was going to reveal that she wore
boy clothes when she was little. Or she wet her bed as a young girl. Or
maybe people thought of her as a boy when she was a kid.

Or perhaps she was a middle school "sukeban" or female delinquent before
going to Tokyo and living on her own (which would make sense, since she
showed the same penchant as Sugata when it came to delinquency).

He didn't expect what she told him instead, though.

She texted, "Kazu-kun used to be a huge crybaby when we were younger."

"Wait, what? That's cheating! That's not your deepest, darkest secret!
That's Sugata's!" he replied.

"I'm not yet finished," she replied. "The person who made him cry the
most when we were kids was me."

"Oh."

"I pulled pranks on him, learned that boys don't like getting hit on
the crotch because of him, and stole his lunch money every chance I
got."

Well, now. This was different. "So what happened?"

"We became friends after I outgrew my bullying phase, he got taller and
hotter, and I soon got jealous of all the girls who were chasing after
him in our class."

She added, "Oh, and it was Megu-chin who was always there to protect him
from me when we were younger. She's kind of like Miku-chin in a way...
shy, demure, and nurturing."

"...." was what Tomoyuki actually texted before following up with, "So
essentially, it's your fault why this 'Megu-chin' ended up being engaged
to Sugata?"

"...Yes."

"I have no words. I'm surprised he even forgave you." He thought a bit
before adding, "Your other self's relationship with him hasn't changed
much either."

"So we're still teasing each other like when we were kids back in your
universe too, huh?" she inquired.

"Pretty much." That secret wasn't funny or cute at all. Then again, it
still fit the definition of "deepest, darkest secret".

"As I've promised, my queen, I will now delete this conversation so that
it won't go into the wrong hands."

She expressed her laughter in text yet again. "You go do that, Cherry
Boy."

"No offense, but that little secret of yours gives me hope, just in case
the Seiko I know and love fell for Sugata the exact same way as you
did."

"So you're not giving up yet on the other me?"

"Not while you're around to support me, no."

"I'm glad. If you're not giving up, then I'm not giving up on your other
you either."

He smiled and returned his attention to class. Even though he wasn't all
that attentive to his history teacher's discussion of Meiji Era
politics, this had been a fulfilling class all-in-all.

"One last thing before dismissal time," texted Seiko. He waited and
waited, but it took her an eternity to continue that text.

The bell came and went. He bid the real Okamoto and Sugata goodbye.
Machida said she had stuff to do, so she excused herself from riding
home with him to the train. Still, he waited for AU Seiko's text.

Once he got home, the text messages came one after the other.

"Even though I apologized, what I texted about Machida is true. You're
treating her the same way all those girls who've rejected you did.
You've put her in the Friend Zone.

"She shared to you her own deepest, darkest secrets, like I did to you
right now. No girl would ever do that to just anyone, must less a guy
who's only a friend.

"Here's your first lesson about women. Whenever a girl reveals a side of
her to you that she doesn't show to anyone else, that means you're
really important to her."

Yamamoto harrumphed. Couldn't a man be friends with a woman without
complicating it with the shadow of romance?

Of course, he could. That was why the Friend Zone existed. Wasn't it
Miku herself who, after he continuously complained about not getting
a girlfriend despite being a nice guy, sarcastically quipped, "So you
were being nice to women you're attracted to because you want to score
with them? You think being nice entitles you to having a girlfriend even
though you're unfunny, uninteresting, and plain-looking?"

Seriously, there was no romance to be had there. He knew how to take a
hint.

However, the other Okamoto's suggestion for his next course of action
regarding how to get the real Seiko's attention was even more dire.

"This is going to piss you off, but I've got to be frank. Your best bet
in getting my other self to stop obsessing about Kazu-kun is to let
Kazu-kun have Miku-chin's number."

Well, she was right about one thing. That did piss him off. He had half
the mind to block her number for even suggesting that. What the hell?

On the other hand, why _was_ Tomoyuki so opposed about Sugata getting
Miku's number? If he did give the delinquent her _number_ now, he was
only going to upset the Class Rep.

Anyway, Sugata was going _way_ too fast with his advances on someone so
shy, sweet, and quiet like Machida.

Yamamoto was in the middle of texting Seiko back to explain to her why
that was a bad idea when he felt a might slap on his shoulder. It was
Kazuhito.

"I followed your advice, Cherry Boy. You were right."

"I... I was?"

"Yep." The Yankee-looking hooligan preened himself. "I asked the Class
Rep for her number, she gave it to me, I was able to apologize to her
about the whole roof incident... don't ask... and now I have her as my
text buddy of sorts!"

"Text buddy..." The words tasted bitter in Tomoyuki's mouth. "Good for
you, bro."

"You're a lifesaver, man. I owe you one."

"D-Don't mention it."

As Sugata twirled his cell phone by its strap and slipped it into his
pants' pocket like a cowboy would holster a gun, Yamamoto ended up at a
loss for words. 'What just happened?'

Did Machida really give Sugata her number? Even after everything that
happened earlier?

'Wait a minute. It's no big deal. So what if she gave her number to
Sugata? It's only a phone number, not a marriage proposal...'

Right?


===


The texts from AU Okamoto that Yamamoto had been receiving since then
were less about love advice in regards to each other's alternate selves
and more about the differences between their two worlds...

Even though there were some things that his world had in common with AU
Seiko's own world, like the fact that PRIDE FC had folded back in 2007
and the existence of the Internet, there were also many things that
were different from their universes.

For example, instead of his world's Nintendo Ultra CD, the people in
Seiko's world ended up with two consoles based on that one concept,
which were the Sony PlayStation and the Nintendo 64.

Apparently, according to AU Okamoto's version of the Encyclopedia
Britannica Online (something called "Wikipedia", whatever "Wiki"
meant... it sounded like something associated with voodoo), instead of
Nintendo canceling plans to make a CD-ROM for the Super Famicom in favor
of creating a CD-based console in partnership with Sony, they had
different, un-Nintendo-like plans altogether.

He also had no idea what a "Virtua Boy" was supposed to be, although he
did ask if it was anything like Sega's Virtua Fighter. It wasn't. Also,
ironically enough, "Final" Fantasy had many installments in the other
world, although the first Final Fantasy that both their worlds had
remained a classic on either dimension.

On the local music front, otaku pandering had gone to an extreme that
even Machida wouldn't believe in the form of Vocaloids or, as Seiko
described them, "A do-it-yourself pop idol meets anime character." She
sent videos and whatnot, but all Yamamoto could make out of them was
artificial-sounding synthesizer-pop vocals and a strange, green-haired
CGI girl.

He didn't get it. The world was definitely not hers, or at least _his_
world wasn't. Funnily enough, this vocaloid had the same first name as
the Class Rep. Even more interesting was the fact that AU Miku Machida
regularly (and shamelessly) cosplayed as this "Miku Hatsune" character
as well. Was it because they had the same first names?

Online, the Japanese localization efforts of the other world's version
of Friendster and YouTube Japan were less that stellar. Less than two
million Japanese users go to the "Facebook" social network, which was
in stark contrast to the international following of Friendster and its
closest competitor, MySpace, in Tomoyuki's world.

Meanwhile, instead of YouTube Japan, all the video-sharing needs of
Seiko's AU Japan were handled by a site called Nico Nico Douga or Smile
Videos. Instead of people vlogging like normal, Nico Nico was a site
dedicated to Internet (particularly anime and manga) memes, the
strangest commercials around, and the videos of the aforementioned
Vocaloids.

On the international music scene, John Lennon wasn't the only one that
died in their universe, but Kurt Cobain as well... way back in 1995 at
that... via suicide. That was funny, because thanks to recent a wave of
Nineties Nostalgia on the web, neo-grunge had returned and Nirvana made
a recent reunion tour.

He also called bullshit on the picture she sent him that she alleged
was Michael Jackson. He didn't know who that scary ghoul with the
twisted nose was, but that wasn't the King of Pop. Michael Jackson was
black, dammit. They had more convincing zombies in Jackson's Thriller
video. The picture must've been altered using Corel Photo-Paint.

Finally, the major difference between the Japan of Yamamoto over the
Japan of AU Seiko was the fact that the other Okamoto's Japan had a
period of recent history called the "Lost Decade" or the "Ushinawareta
Nijunen", which was rife with economic turmoil, failing businesses, and
lost jobs.

In fact, it was this financial slowdown that forced AU Sugata and his
family to move back to Hiroshima in the first place and leave AU
Okamoto to fend for herself in the big city. He was no economic expert,
but from what he could gather, the trouble started when the bubble
economy happened because there was a massive wave of speculation by
securities companies, banks, and other Japanese businesses.

The low interest rates and exceptionally high land values then produced
more liquidity in the market. However, when the Finance Ministry pulled
the plug of the unsustainable bubble, the bubble burst, causing economic
stagnation that worsened throughout the Nineties and continued through
the Turn of the Millennium.

That never happened in the Japan and reality Tomoyuki resided in. No
mass speculation of futures markets arose regarding land values and
whatnot, so any steep decrease on the market wouldn't lead to the
collapse of a whole economy. By the sound of things, the Eighties of
Seiko's universe was a period of excess, while the Eighties that
Tomoyuki heard about in history class had less of a penchant towards
overindulgence, which helped a lot in curbing possible economic
stagnation.

He wasn't sure, though. He was no expert in speculation bubbles. Then
again, a more  moderate Eighties did lead to his universe having a
Michael Jackson that _remained_ black. Just saying.

However, all good things came to an end, and finally, on one lazy
Wednesday morning, he was greeted with the following exchange...

"Hey Drag Queen," AU Seiko texted.

"Hello, fellow Drag Queen," Tomoyuki texted back.

"If you think I bring up Miku-chin too much, guess what your other self
has been texting me all day?" she messaged.

He replied, "Let me apologize in AU Yamamoto's stead for you. I'm very
sorry. He seems quite enamored with a Machida that actually loves him."

"You're not too sore about the fact that Kazu-kun succeeded in getting
Miku-chin's phone number, are you?"

So she finally asked about that issue they dropped two days ago. "It
doesn't bother me. Machida is free to give away her cell phone number to
whomever she wants."

"Hypothetically speaking, if Machida did love you, would you give up on
me and the other Seiko?"

Yamamoto changed the subject, because there was no way Seiko would enjoy
hearing his answer. "Why are you so jealous of Machida?"

"Oh, you know why. I just told you. Your other self won't shut up about
her."

"If I tell you a secret that will help you snag him from the clutches of
your universe's Machida, will you shut up about Machida?"

"Sounds legit. Lay it on me. Should I start talking to him about Kazu-
kun again, like always?"

"He won't feel jealous of Sugata because he doesn't even know him,"
Tomoyuki reminded before thinking long and hard in regards to his
answer. He sure texted himself to a corner this time around.

"Well? What do I do, Master Yamamoto?" insisted AU Seiko. "Take note,
your other self isn't even interested in sports or anything related to
it. I know. I've tried taking to him about it."

He thought back to what attracted him to Okamoto in the first place. "Be
yourself."

"I'm going to block and delete your number right now. What kind of
wholesome Disney bullshit advice is that?"

"No, I'm serious. Be a bro. You know what attracted me to your other self
in the first place?"

"What?"

"You're easy to talk to. You're approachable. You don't have many airs.
You're completely honest. Also, tomboys are adorable."

"So... I should do what I've always been doing with both Kazu-kun and
Yamamoto-kun all this time that hasn't worked at all in snagging their
hearts?"

Tomoyuki considered AU Seiko's words. What could she possibly do in
order to make his other self choose her instead of the other Machida if
the other Machida were in love with him, especially in light of all that
he and the Class Rep had been through?

"It's hard to 'undo' what AU Machida did for him, so don't. Make your
own  special memories with him, like what we're doing now."

"Eeeeh..." she actually texted.

"Either that, or offer him lots of sex."

"Oh, piss off, you pervert."


===


Next: Complicated feelings.

Good news, everyone! I've already mapped out Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko's
story from start to finish, so there'll be less second-guessing on my
part when it comes to what's going to happen next.

Farewell,
Abdiel
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