[FFML] [orig] Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko Chapter 2: The Truth Behind Yesterday's Call

[Abdiel]

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Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko
An Anime-Inspired Original Story from 4chan's /a/ Board
By Abdiel
Original Idea by Hataki
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/3206139/

Chapter 2, folks! Things are going to get weirder from here on out!


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Chapter 2: The Truth Behind Yesterday's Call

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Glassy-eyed and indolent, Tomoyuki Yamamoto sulked for the rest of that
Thursday, after he got dumped by his crush... the Amazon Queen of
Section 2B, Seiko Okamoto.

His classes came and went. Their class might have had a pop quiz or two.
No doubt, judging by his luck and inattention, he probably failed those
tests too.

He was never going to find romance or get laid, wasn't he? He was going
to stay a "Cherry Boy" for the rest of his godforsaken life.

He planted his face on the desk, wishing the ground would eat him up and
grind his bones to mulch. How was he supposed to face Seiko now? Or
tomorrow? Or the day after that? Or the day after the day after that?
How about the whole school year? Jeez, he really fucked up something
fierce this time around.

His life was over. Goodbye, the springtime of his youth.

Something didn't quite add up, though. Actually, a lot of things didn't
add up. He hated thinking this way, but maybe Seiko was suffering from
some sort of mental illness, like a split personality or multiple
personalities. She could be like Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde.

The Seiko that he talked to on the phone yesterday was Doctor Jekyll,
while the Seiko that decked him right in front of the school warehouse
was Mister Hyde. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Either way, a psychological disorder could explain why she had no memory
of the hours and hours they spoke to each other on the phone that
fateful Wednesday afternoon.

Or perhaps his earlier suspicions about Okamoto being in league with his
bullies made better sense. Maybe she accepted his love confession with
her tongue firmly on her cheek. However, if she really wanted to pretend
that what happened yesterday never happened, then why did she bother
doing so when they were all alone?

Or maybe he was a fucking idiot. Perhaps he was still in complete denial
over what had happened. He wasn't sure which.

He couldn't find out the truth right now even if he tried. He had nobody
to talk to. Seiko obviously wouldn't talk to him. As for Miku Machida...
Section 2B's class representative and resident closeted "Rotten Girl"
otaku... she wasn't in the mood to speak with him either thanks to
whatever it was that happened between her and Kazuhito Sugata.

'Or maybe Machida really is in love with me, like Seiko-chan claimed,'
considered Tomoyuki, but he quickly waved the idea off.

Had Miku not given him her own version of the "Let's Just Be Friends"
speech, then he'd actually believe Okamoto for thinking that. Machida
also didn't want to delve into the World of 3DPD (3D Pig Disgusting),
because according to her, romance with fictional characters were far
better than real ones.

Anyway, he didn't want to believe that sweet and wonderful Seiko would
lead him on like that, but was there any other logical explanation? Save
for, of course, Okamoto being completely out of her mind, switching
behaviors and personalities every time she got a hold of her phone.

He regretted the words he spat out to Okamoto during lunch break as soon
as he'd said them. The guilt he felt for them doubled every hour he sat
on that chair near the window. _Of course_ Seiko wasn't a liar.
Something was afoot.

Where did it all go wrong? Did he really dream up what happened
yesterday? Or wait, was he actually talking to _the_ Amazon Queen when
he got that number? Its area code was more than a little suspicious.

_Naturally_, the person who called him yesterday wasn't the Amazon
Queen. Not only was the number wrong, but Okamoto was no softy who'd
easily cry at the drop of a hat. She wasn't known as "One of the Boys"
for nothing.

Just then, he got a text message from Seiko.

"I hate you. How could you do that to me? You're the worst, Cherry Boy,"
the message said.

Well, so much for that theory.

He blinked. He thought he heard something. Something muffled. Was it his
name? Was he hearing things?

"Yamamoto? HEY, CHERRY BOY!"

"WAH!"

Tomoyuki got up from his chair, his lungs almost bursting out of his rib
cage to the point of popping like balloons. "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA? Oh,
it's only you, Sugata."

"Well, fuck you too, Yamamoto."

The tall, blond delinquent of Section 2B, Kazuhito, had roused Tomoyuki
from his reverie and troubled thoughts.

"Jeez, is this the thanks I get for waking you up after classes are
over? You're welcome, douchebag!"

"Oh. Um, thanks? Sorry for snapping at you, man. It's been the worst day
of my life."

Again, Sugata showed that he, unlike Tomoyuki's bullies, was at least
nice to him from time to time.

'What do you know?' Yamamoto thought as he surveyed the emptying
classroom. Before he knew it, it was already dismissal time. To his
shock, Machida had already gone home without him. 'This day just keeps
getting better and better.'

Kazuhito narrowed his eyes and gave Tomoyuki a once-over.

"Whoa, that's quite the shiner you got there," Sugata said, referring to
Yamamoto's black eye. "Who did this to you? I'll pulverize him for you!"

"Okamoto did," Yamamoto answered, which made Kazuhito immediately
backpedal.

"The Amazon Queen did? Are you serious? Yikes, man. What the hell did
you do to get her so upset? Did you call her a transvestite or
something?"

'That's something _you'd_ do!' Tomoyuki thought before he offered the
lame and vague explanation of, "Um, no. She got mad because of...
stuff," as he remembered the strength of her punch that made his legs
turn into cooked spaghetti.

Sugata remarked, "That's too bad, dude. She was rather fond of you."

Yammamoto winced. "Don't rub it in. My wounds are _literally_ still
sore."

"Man up, bro. Anyway, care to explain the details?"

"Well, let's just say I'm not quite certain what had happened or which
one of us are at fault. I still can't make heads or tails out of
anything right now."

"'At fault', huh? So you had an argument, then? Oh, never mind. It's
obvious that you did." Kazuhito pulled a chair beside Tomomyuki and sat
on it with the backrest in front of him. Yamamoto himself sat back down.

There were no more students left in class by then, most of them heading
home or attending to their after-school clubs... Seiko probably went to
the school's karate dojo to train and let off some steam... so Yamamoto
and Sugata were alone in the room tinted orange by the setting sun.

"I've been through this before," admitted Kazuhito.

Tomoyuki blinked. "You have?"

"Whenever the Amazon Queen and I fought, I also ended up feeling guilty
and confused. Many times, I'm usually not sure what had happened or who
won our argument. The thing is that you shouldn't keep score. Every
fight should be treated as water under the bridge."

"Seriously?"

"Totally."

The Cherry Boy thought that the resident Yankee (Japanese slang for
juvenile delinquent) of their class had perhaps confessed to Seiko
himself, only to get strung along before she altogether crushed his
heart and soul.

"Look, the Amazon Queen has a short temper, but by tomorrow, she's sure
to forget the whole thing. She may even apologize. The question is, are
you prepared to forgive her for giving you a black eye?"

"I'm not sure what to think right now, Sugata... but I guess I can try
to get over this," said Yamamoto. 'And her,' he added to himself.

"Attaboy," said the thuggish blond before fishing out his cell phone
from his pants' pocket and scrolling through his address book. "Here's
her number. You can text message her and smooth things out between the
two of you by yourself. If she asks where you got it, just tell her I
gave it to you."

Without thinking, Yamamoto waved Sugata off. "Ah, no thanks. I already
have her number."

"...You already got her number?" Kazuhito reiterated. "How...? Oh, I get
it. Is this why she's been giving you the cold shoulder? You got her
number without her permission or something?"

Tomoyuki averted Sugata's eyes after the latter hit the nail right on
the head. "You could say that."

"Ah, now I get it. Typical Amazon Queen." Kazuhito shook his head as he
chuckled. "Hey, maybe you can give me your number instead."

"Huh? W-What for?" Yamamoto's jaw dropped.

"No, no, nothing like that, dude. No homo," Sugata reassured. "So... do
you mind?"

Tomoyuki shook his head, then tilted it in curiosity. "Actually, no. I
don't mind."

"Thanks, Cherry Bo... Ah, I did it again..." Kazuhito slapped his
forehead.

"You know what? You can call me Cherry Boy anytime you want, Sugata.
I've been called that from behind my back for so long, it's refreshing
to have someone call me 'Cherry Boy' in front of my face without being
mean-spirited about it."

"No, of course I won't, _Yamamoto_. W-ell, maybe from time to time...
Sorry dude, I just know you better by that name!" Kazuhito chuckled.

Tomoyuki shrugged and sighed. "Yeah, yeah... Practically everybody in
class is calling me that anyway."

After Sugata punched in Yamamoto's number (he probably put in "Cherry
Boy" as the name of the contact for good measure), he drummed his
fingers on the desk of his chair and probed, "Hey, Cherry Boy, is it too
much to ask for the Class Rep's...?"

"...Machida's number? You should've asked me that from the start!"

"Oh, come on, man. Bros and before hos!"

Yamamoto smirked. "Oh, please! The only reason you got _this_ bro's
number is to also get the ho's... I mean, Machida's... number too!"

"Nice save there, Cherry Boy."

"Shut up."

The lanky, blond teenager put his hand behind his neck and scratched it.
"Okay, you got me. I must look like a total tool by trying to help you
out so you'd feel like you owe me a favor."

"Sure, you do. Yes, you do look like a total tool." Tomoyuki backpedaled
as soon as Sugata glared at him. "...But at least _now_, it makes sense
why you'd help me out in the first place. I was quite freaked out when
you started talking about Okamoto from out of the blue. Now I know why."

Kazuhito cleared his throat. "_Anyway_, do you think that the Class Rep
is mad at me? Nowadays, she always says to me that she's too busy to
talk, and I'm afraid that she might be brushing me off. You know how
women are, right? You got to give me her number."

Tomoyuki nodded. "Yeah, I'm not sure what's bothering Machida right now
either, but I still can't give out her number without telling her first.
She might get mad at the both of us."

"I see, I see. Of course." Sugata nodded. "Come to think of it, even
Okamoto will get mad at me if she found out I almost gave you her
number in the middle of your fight. Good thing you already have it,
then. Women, am I right?"

Yamamoto himself chuckled. "You said it, man."


===


Back at the front gate of the Yamamoto Residence, after Tomoyuki had
gotten home in the afternoon...

The Cherry Boy considered going over the Machida Residence instead and
ringing Miku's doorbell. Her house was next to his, after all.

He wanted to ask her if she was mad at him too, but to be honest, he
really just needed someone he could talk to and listen to what he'd gone
through.

However, he thought the better of it and went straight to his house
instead. He had his own problems to deal with right now.

He'd call Seiko to attempt to smoothen things out... and this time
around, he had an actual conversation flowchart ready and printed out.
After all, the worst that could happen was her hanging up on him and
never talking to him again as long as they were classmates.

'...That's pretty dire. I hope she doesn't do it. I want to get to the
bottom of this.'

In case she did ask him for an explanation, he'd in turn query why she
pretended their conversation last night never happened. He'd also
inquire about the Machida thing. Why was she so sure that the Class Rep
was in love with him?

'Is she jealous?' he thought to himself.

If she admitted on the phone that she set him up because his bullies
told her so, well, that was that. Game over, man. Their friendship was
officially over. Like that girl who sent a love confession text to him
by accident, his encounters with Seiko from then on would be
characterized by awkwardness and pretending that the other didn't
exist.

If Okamoto answered in some other way... perhaps she'd admit that she
had a mental condition wherein she changed personalities every time she
was handed a cell phone... then, well, at least they still had a
"relationship" through phone, even though in real-life she wouldn't give
him the time of day from then on.

Yes, he was _that_ desperate for a girlfriend. He'd even settle for a
phone pal girlfriend... or one from the Internet. No, he didn't care
what other people would think if they found out.

He also considered short-term amnesia on Seiko's part, the possibility
of her taking illegal drugs that affected the way she perceived reality,
him ending up talking to another Seiko altogether with a similar voice
(which explained the weird area code), his bullies using a voice-masking
device to make him think Seiko confessed her love to him (like the one
found in Detective Conan), and... alien body snatchers.

No other possible explanations occurred to him at the moment... or at
least nothing _less_ farfetched than his alien theory.

His phone chimed. He expected to receive a text from Sugata, but instead
it was from Okamoto. 'Is she going to apologize for what happened
earlier? Was she forced to say all those terrible things yesterday?'

"We just confessed our feelings to each other, and you're going to leave
things like this? I've never felt more humiliated in my life, thanks to
what happened yesterday! Were you leading me on? Was that some sort of
sick joke?" the message read.

The nerve of that woman! That was it. No more Mister Nice Guy. The kid
gloves were off. She was going to get a piece of his mind. Letting
bygones be bygones would have to wait.

He called, but there was a busy signal. He tried again. And again. His
calls weren't coming through. Who was that girl talking to right now?
He had to call her now or else... or else that was it. It was truly
game over. If this was some sort of stupid misunderstanding, he wanted
to make things right, dammit.

Only when he stopped did his phone ring. She was calling him...?

"Hello?" he greeted as he answered his phone.

"WHAT THE HELL, DUDE? WHAT JUST HAPPENED DURING LUNCH BREAK? WHAT'S THE
BIG IDEA, CHERRY BOY?"

'Eh? _Dude_? What? Why was she speaking so strangely?' he thought as he
winced at Seiko's shrill scream. He almost popped an eardrum there. "I
should ask you the same question! What's with you setting me and Machida
up even though we have a date this Saturday? Are you still jealous of
her or something?"

"You're talking nonsense again, just like yesterday! Setting her up? Are
you out of your mind? _You're_ the one who had the _gall_ to talk about
'Machida' this and 'Class Rep' that! You couldn't stop talking about
Miku-chin! You have some nerve asking me that after saying you wanted to
go out with me yesterday!"

Well, so much for the flowchart. He didn't expect _this_ to happen
during their conversation. Maybe Seiko was using drugs or had multiple
personalities. He might as well wing it.

And so the shouting match between the Cherry Boy and the Amazon Queen
ensued.

"You're crazy! I did no such thing! I was supposed to ask you about
where you wanted to go on our date this Saturday, and then you tell me
some silly rumor that Machida is in love with me!"

"Rumor? That was no rumor! Everyone in our class knows that Miku-chin is
head over heels in love with you!"

"...W-What?"

Seiko took a deep breath. "So you already know the truth about Miku-
chin, huh?" Tomoyuki could almost hear the gears in her head turn as she
considered that point. "Oh, I get it now. So that's how it is. You
confessed to me yesterday, but today, you learned that Miku-chin is in
love with you, so you've decided to dump me for her. Isn't that right,
Cherry Boy?"

Never in a million years did Yamamoto imagine he'd be having an intense
argument with _the_ Seiko Okamoto, much less a conversation with her on
the phone, but even the conversation itself was too much for him to
believe. Wasn't she acting a bit too... possessive? Why did she keep
obsessing about the Class Rep?

"Now look here," began Yamamoto, "_you're_ the one who told me that
Machida is in love with me. When I brought up that we're now a couple,
you said our call yesterday never happened and you acted like I only
told you that I love you right then and there! That's when you dumped me
by saying that you're already in love with someone else and I should
just 'settle' for the Class Rep! You even gave me a black eye _just
because_ I wanted to ask what the hell was going on with you and why
you're pretending that I never confessed to you yesterday!"

"I never did any of that! Who else would I be seeing but you? It's you
who couldn't stop talking about Miku-chin. It's you whose head was in
the clouds! You're the one who forgot that I confessed to you yesterday!
I couldn't even bring up our date that entire time! You were too busy
trying to find the best way to confess to your next door neighbor and
best friend! If you wanted to date her in the first place, then you
should've never called me at all!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!"

"That's totally not what happened earlier!"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"There! _There_ you go again! You told me the exact same thing earlier,
and then punched me in the face!"

"I have half the mind to go to your house and kick your nuts in!"

"Is violence your answer for everything?"

"Ugh, this is getting us nowhere. If you don't believe what I'm saying,
then we might as well break up!"

"Break up? You already dumped me earlier!"

"I told you I didn't do that and I'm not lying about it!"

"I'm not lying either!"

"If you're not lying, then where'd you get my number? And what's with
that weird phone number of yours? Isn't eleven the area code for Sapporo
or something? Like in Hokkaido?"

"I'm not in Hokkaido! I'm in Tokyo, and it's always been eleven! What
are you talking about, you crazy tomboy?"

"Shut your filthy mouth, you creepy stalker!"

"Yeah, well you're a... t-transvestite!"

"Virgin!"

"Okamato!"

That last insult Yamamoto threw at the Amazon Queen was one he heard
from the master of insults himself, Sugata, who used the word "okama",
which was Japanese slang for "gay man", and combined it with Seiko's
surname.

"M-Motoyama!" was Seiko's lame attempt at a comeback. As usual,
Kazuhito's insults were super effective in shutting the Amazon Queen up.

"...You're really bad at this, aren't you?"

"SHUT UP!"

The about-to-be ex-couple stopped shouting after both their sets of
parents complained about the noise they were making while on the phone.

They had to hang up in order to get lectured for their misbehavior.
Besides, it was already time for dinner anyway. The reprieve allowed
them to cool down their heads and collect their thoughts. They called
each other again while hushing down their voices.

"So you're not lying?" started Yamamoto.

"No," answered Okamoto. "It's about time you figured that out."

"So am _I_ lying?" he asked.

"You tell me," she responded.

"Well, we can't be _both_ telling the truth. Something's not right."

"I'd say. Have you been off your anti-psychotic pills? Do you have some
sort of woman suit in your house or the corpse of your mother in your
basement?"

"I didn't know you watched foreign films, much less black and white
ones."

"Don't change the subject!"

"Okay. Let's calm down. For the record, the only drugs I've been taking
are antihistamine pills and erythromycin antibiotics because I'm
allergic to penicillin, _Doc_. I haven't been taking anything
recreational."

"Well, I'm not doing any drugs either, so which one of us is telling the
truth? Let me take note that you seem to know more about drugs than I
do."

"What? Everyone knows what antibiotics and anti-allergy pills are!"
complained Tomoyuki. Seiko was such a stereotypical jock. "Okay, it's
possible that neither of us are lying. One of us must instead be
mistaken, though."

"I know what I saw yesterday. You were being a completely dense,
clueless jerk who has no regard for a pure maiden's feelings!"

"Where is this pure maiden you're talking about? All I saw yesterday was
a crazy woman with a hair-trigger temper over being called a liar... and
I never called you that!"

"If that's the case, then do you believe me?"

"Yes... No... Maybe... I don't know..." Tomoyuki sat down on his office
chair and slumped back on its backrest. "I can't deny what I saw either.
I didn't get this black eye from out of nowhere. I have no idea. Maybe
you were talking to some double of mine while I was talking to some
double of yours."

Yamamoto's heart felt like was about to explode as he went pale and a
feeling of dread spread all over him. Perhaps at that moment, Seiko and
Tomoyuki's bullies were recording the conversation to see how long they
could make him believe that she was still in love with him and this was
all a misunderstanding.

But he wanted to trust Okamoto. He really did. Even at the risk of
looking like a fool and a clown in the end, he'd see this through. He
had to find the truth behind yesterday's call before today was over.

"Are you serious? Do you think we were talking to our evil twins, like
in one of those television dramas?"

"No, of course I'm not! I'm just thinking aloud," he confessed.
"Actually, it's more like one of those sci-fi movies. Machida loves
watching those," he added, before noting to himself, 'Among other
things...'

"There. _There_ you go again with your obsession with Miku-chin. You
couldn't stop talking about her."

"Oh, lay off, Amazon Queen, I only mentioned her that one time, you
were the one who keeps bringing her up!" he protested, although now that
he'd calmed down, he did find Seiko's bouts of jealousy somewhat
adorable.

"_You're_ accusing _me_ of bringing her up? You have to be kidding me,"
she sounded like she was tearing her hair out right at that moment.
"Come to think of it, you also claimed that _I_ was the one who insisted
that you two be together! Well, if you love her that much, then why
don't you marry her?"

"Well then, why don't you marry your childhood friend, Sugata! You're
the one who can't stop talking about him either!" Tomoyuki rebutted.

He wasn't really all that mad when he did so... he felt too enamored
with the thought of Seiko being jealous of Miku... but the lengthy
silence from Okamoto's part made him realize that he might've crossed
some sort of line.

"H-Hey, Seiko-chan? I mean... Okamoto? Is something wrong?"

"...How can you be so insensitive? Why would you say that?"

"Say what? I was only talking about Sugata. Why are you so upset?"

"I trusted you! You're the only other person I talked to about him!"

"Hey, wait! What did I do wrong? Come on...!"

The line went dead.

Dammit... and here he thought he was finally making some headway with
Seiko. He called her up to get some answers, but all he ended up with
were more questions. Why was talking about Section 2B's resident Yankee
suddenly taboo?

His phone chimed, and he grabbed hold of it and said, "Hello?"

There was no answer. He looked at the screen and realized he didn't
receive a call, but a text message. He was too lazy with his phone's
settings to differentiate between call sounds and mail sounds.

The message read, "Hey, Cherry Boy. I hope I'm not interrupting
anything. Even though the Amazon Queen is going to kill me, here's her
cell phone number. Good luck in getting back to her good graces... but
you better talk to her face-to-face being messaging her or anything."

'Aw, come on, Sugata. Why are people so forgetful nowadays? Didn't I say
earlier that I already have your childhood friend's num...?'

As he looked at Seiko's number, Tomoyuki felt the blood drain from his
face, which made him feel a bit woozy.

It was a completely different number from the one he received from the
Seiko he was talking to earlier. Did Okamoto have two numbers or...?

Well, the number that Kazuhito gave him had eleven as an area code, just
like every other number in his phone book that resided in Tokyo.

He spine tingled and he held back a shiver. If the number he called now
wasn't from the Seiko he knew and loved... then who was the Seiko on the
phone?

He heard his door creak open. He turned and then screamed at what he
saw.


===


A little later that evening, inside Tomoyuki's room...

"Jeez, what've you been up to all day at school? First, you arrive all
smiley-faced, then after lunch, you looked as if someone had told you
you're terminally ill with cancer. Now, you're acting all jumpy. What's
with you?" asked Miku as she sipped her cup of green tea that she made
herself from the pantry of "Aunt" Yamamoto and heated with the family's
microwave.

"Stuff happened, okay?" was the only explanation that Yamamoto could
verbalize after the frightful experience he went through.

Who was he talking to on the phone just then? She sounded exactly like
Seiko. She even threatened him in classic Amazon Queen fashion.

"Oh, and what's with that black eye of yours?" murmured Miku so softly,
he almost didn't notice her say anything.

"Um... Okamoto did this."

"Really? My goodness, no wonder you were so gloomy all afternoon! What
did you do to make Seiko-chan so upset?" she asked as she got the
first-aid kit on top of Tomoyuki's shelf an tended to her neighbor and
classmate's wounds.

"I... kind of, sort of confessed to her that I like her."

"Oh... Oh! She didn't take it well? A punch to the face hardly seems an
appropriate response to a love confession," said the Class Rep as she
adjusted her thick glasses.

"I... I had it coming. I tried getting her number from other people, she
got pissed off that I didn't simply her for it, one thing led to
another, I came on too strong when she rejected me, and she punched me
in the face." Yamamoto didn't lie, but he omitted quite a lot from his
story.

Nevertheless, most of what he neglected to reveal sounded so farfetched
even to him that he decided he told the complete truth anyway without
the parts about him getting a strange cell phone number from someone
also named Seiko Okamoto but wasn't Seiko Okamoto.

The only real difference between the Seiko he called and the Seiko he
knew, as far as he could tell, was that the "Cell Phone" Seiko actually
shared with him mutual feelings of affection, while the (for lack of
a better term) "Real" Seiko dumped him faster than one could say, "Hot
Potato!"

He gulped as he asked, "You have Seiko's number, right?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm surprised you didn't ask me for it."

"Never mind that. Is this her number?"

"Let me check."

The number Tomoyuki showed was the one with the normal "eleven" area
code. He changed the name for the one with "zero-three" as an area code
to "Amazon Queen".

"Yes, this is her number."

"She has no other phone numbers?"

"Not that I know of."

"Does she have any relatives in... I don't know... Hokkaido, maybe?"

"Hokkaido? No. Of course not. She's from Hiroshima, just like... Sugata-
kun. Why do you ask?"

"No particular reason."

Meanwhile, while maintaining a pokerfaced expression, Tomoyuki screamed
internally.

Who was the Seiko he was talking to? A ghost? An alien? An esper? A time
traveler? A god? Okamoto's evil twin? Another her from a separate
dimension? Should he be scared? Was the other Okamoto out to eat him or
turn him into some sort of human guinea pig?

His promise to solve everything before the day ended had become
something of an ambitious project in light of recent events. He had a
hard time wrapping his head around the many possible reasons behind
this... "Fake" Seiko dilemma.

"Seiko-chan must've been really angry at you for her to give you a black
eye. You must've totally looked like a stalker and a creep to her. Looks
like Cherry Boy is still going to remain a virgin for the rest of his
high school life!" Miku giggled.

"Jeez, leave me alone, Machida. Don't rub it in! You're no worse than
Sugata!"

"Oh my... You talked to Sugata-kun too?"

"Yeah."

"Did he say anything about me?"

"He asked me for your phone number."

"WAH! D-Did you give it to him?"

"Of course not. Not without your permission, I won't."

Miku let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I thought I was going to have a
heart attack then and there."

"...Something happened between you two, didn't it?" Yamamoto asked.

Machida took a minute before she could answer, "Yup."

"Do you mind telling me now without biting my head off?"

"...Okay."

It was the stupidest story ever. Yamamoto had no idea why his next door
neighbor was so upset about it. She was on the roof deck trying out a
costume for Comiket... she had a fellow fujoshi friend who insisted
she'd look absolutely fabulous in this magical girl outfit she had on
hand from some children's anime... and the heroine she was portraying
incidentally liked posing on rooftops.

So off she went and sat atop the shed that housed that one metal utility
door that led directly to the roof. However, she was a bit of a klutz,
so she ended up falling and landing face-first on the roof's pavement.
As she turned and dusted herself off, she realized that someone had seen
her in full, skimpy glory.

As the boy stood there... slack-jawed... she took her bag, bowed,
apologized, and ran away towards the nearest bathroom to change. She
didn't get a good look at him at the time because of how panicked she
was.

Miku hadn't been able to go back to the roof ever since the incident for
fear that the boy who saw her _in her full cosplaying glory_ would
return. She was afraid the guy would expose her as a fujoshi and otaku
to the rest of the school, which would effectively end her social life
forever, just like with Tomoyuki.

She particularly feared that the person who saw her was a classmate of
hers. If it had been Yamamoto, at least she could swear him to secrecy,
but what if it was someone else?

She had been extra cautious about going to the roof since then, although
Tomoyuki knew that it was her safe haven from all her class-rep-related
activities; a place she could open up and be herself.

It turned out that the boy who saw her was Kazuhito. She wasn't
suspicious of him at first, but then he started giving odd requests,
like asking her to take off her glasses because there was something on
her face (supposedly) and giving her lingering stares.

A week later, things came to a head, when Sugata finally asked if she
was the girl on the rooftop that he saw. And so there they were.

"You're serious? That's it? That's the thing you and that overgrown
Yankee who looks like he belongs as an extra in the movie 'Ichi the
Killer' were squealing about yesterday? Really?" asked Yamamoto.

Miku hit Tomoyuki's face with a pillow. "It was embarrassing, and I
think he saw... my underwear. He says he didn't, but I definitely felt a
breeze up _there_ after I fell."

"So he saw your panties?"

"UNDERWEAR! Only boys use the word 'panties', which is such a lewd
word!"

Tomoyuki groaned as he ate another face-full of pillow. "Jeez, and here
I thought you were actually falling in love with Sugata or something.
You were so quiet on the bus ride back home that I thought you were
considering going out with him."

"W-W-What?" stuttered the Class Rep, her face beet-red. "W-W-Why would
y-you t-think that? You dummy!"

"Huh. My bad, then. Well, I guess that makes sense. You haven't really
had a boyfriend yet, have you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Miku raised an eyebrow at Tomoyuki's
unsaid implication. "And what's with that smug tone of yours? That's the
last thing I want to hear from Section 2B's Cherry Boy. Know your
place!"

Yamamoto cleared his throat as he hid his blush from Machida. The
thought of her referring to him in a sexual manner... albeit to
reference his virginity... made him tingly inside.

"_Anyway_, you have nothing to worry about, Machida. Stop sulking around
and leave the sulking to the person who actually got decked by a girl so
bad, he ended up on the floor."

"Well, excuse _me_ for having a less 'serious' problem that yours," she
mocked. Nevertheless, her present sarcasm belied the fact that she was
still worried enough to put antiseptic on Tomoyuki's open wounds on his
elbow, forearms, and hands earlier.

"Hey, now wait a minute. I didn't say your problem wasn't serious. It
was just... different from what I expected," reassured Yamamoto as he
patted the girl next door's head.

"Stop treating me like a child, then." She pouted.

"Yeah, yeah." He chuckled. "I really get it, though. You don't want to
reveal that you're an otaku..."

"...Fujoshi."

"..._Fujoshi_ to the class because your social life would end if that
happened. I of all people should know all about that."

They turned away towards opposite directions and leaned on each other's
backs. "You have all the bad luck, though. First, you got embarrassed
because some girl sent you a love confession that wasn't meant for you,
so now you're known as the King of the Virgins. This time, you've gotten
a black eye because Seiko-chan thought you were stalking her. She also
dumped you. You just can't catch a break, can you?"

"What did I just tell you about rubbing it in?" said Yamamoto as he
turned and gave the Class Rep a noogie by rubbing his knuckles on her
noggin.

From downstairs, Tomoyuki's mother called, asking Miku if she was going
to stay for the night so that she could get a spare futon for her.
Machida declined, stating, "I was just about to leave, Missus Yamamoto!"

To the Yamamotos' only son, the Class Rep said, "Thanks a lot, Cherry
Boy. Whenever I talk to you, all my problems seem to go away. I was
worrying about nothing after all, compared to what you've gone through."

"Hardy-har-har, I'm glad my horrible luck has cheered you up," said
Tomoyuki with a sullen look.

Miku averted her gaze from Yamamoto's and fidgeted around. "I'm sure
Seiko-chan will forgive you for getting her number sooner rather than
later. If not, then I'm sure you'll find someone else to..."

Yamamoto lied down on his bed and put a pillow on his face. "You sure
know how to make a guy feel better, Class Rep. Spare me the friendzone
speech. I already heard that crap a bajillion times."

"F-Friendzone speech?" repeated Miku.

"I know what you're going to say. 'There's plenty of fish in the sea,
you'll find someone that likes you for who you are, let's just be
friends, you're one of my bestest friends in the world, blah blah blah.'
I have it memorized. I wasn't called Cherry Boy for nothing, you know."

He couldn't see what Machida was doing because he had a pillow covering
his eyes, but she suddenly became quiet. "Machida? What's the matter?"

"...Would you rather not hear a friendship speech from me?"

"Yeah, I'd rather not. I've heard them all. And it's friendzone speech,
not friendship speech. Big difference."

She went silent again. "To tell you the truth, Yamamoto-kun..."

"...I know, I know. Nice Clerk Syndrome, right?"

"...W-What?"

"You were the one who told me that! I shouldn't mistake the niceness of
girls around me as actual romantic affection, or else I'm going to end
up needlessly hurting myself because of my selfish misunderstanding. I
get it. Maybe not being able to get laid isn't so bad after all..."

"T-That doesn't mean you should give up! And it is true that there are
many fish in the sea... p-plus, not all situations you've had with
girls involve the Nice Clerk Syndrome, you know."

Yamamoto took his pillow off of his face, sat up, and faced Miku, who
yelped and backed away like a scared mouse. "Maybe you're right. Too
bad I'm too dense to tell the difference between niceness and flirting,
huh?"

He took a deep breath as he recalled the events of yesterday leading up
to the present.

"Y-Yamamoto-kun..." she started.

"I have my own thought experiment to propose," he said, talking over her.
"Oh, excuse me, Machida. You were saying something?"

"Oh no! You go first," she insisted.

"Okay." If there was anyone who could help him out, it was her. "Let's
say that, theoretically, I got Okamoto's cell phone number but it had a
different area code..."


===


Miku ended up staying in the Yamamoto Residence overnight after all, the
same way she did when she and Tomoyuki were in first year high school.
She told the Yamamotos she changed her mind, she already called her
parents, and she'd sleep on an extra futon.

"Let me get this straight..." said Miku as she tapped her finger on her
lower lip. "According to this 'thought experiment' of yours, you got
Seiko-chan's number from out of nowhere, and it had a weird area code
on it. You confessed your feelings to her, and she revealed that she had
feelings for you too."

Yamamoto nodded, and Machida continued.

"The next day, when you recounted the events to Seiko-chan back at
school, she said you never called her and she thought you were crazy for
saying such things. However, once you asked around for Seiko-chan's
phone number, you found out that what you had wasn't her phone number at
all."

"That's right," he confirmed.

"You suspect that this other Seiko-chan is an imposter, but she sounded
and acted just like the Seiko-chan we know in almost every way. She had
the same interests, the same speech inflections, the same quirks, and
the same personality. But she isn't Seiko-chan, because the real Seiko-
chan had a different number and doesn't remember ever talking to you.
Did I understand your story right?"

"That's basically it," Tomoyuki said as he clasped his hands. "What do
you think?"

"I don't think you know what a thought experiment is," she said matter-
of-factly.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, _fine_, I don't, but for lack of a better
term, let's say it is. Can you tell me who the heck called me if it
wasn't Okamoto who did so... uh, theoretically speaking?" He wrung his
hands as the Class Rep stared at him from head to toe.

She grinned. "This is an even better use of the Schrodinger's Cat
thought experiment than my own doujinshi story! If it only featured
pretty boys instead of you and Seiko-chan, it'd make for the perfect
submission for Comiket!"

"Schrodinger's Cat? Oh, you mean the cat torture experiment? What the
heck does that have to do with anything, much less what I told you?"

"Oh, stop being so coy. You know exactly what I mean. To think, you even
came up with your story idea by basing it on real-life experiences! I
hope you don't take this the wrong way, but maybe Seiko-chan dumping you
is the best thing that ever happened to you! Inspiration really does
come from pain and traumatic events. You're like a regular Anno
Hideaki!"

"Jeez, woman! Stop bringing that up! Kick a man while he's down, why
don't you?" he complained.

She giggled and stuck her tongue out. "Sorry."

Tomoyuki sighed. So Miku thought he came up with a "story idea" that
was even better than her cat-torture one involving gay men who were
named after famous scientists. 'Whatever.' He decided to play along with
the unintentional ruse.

"Uh, just to make sure we're on the same page, let's pretend I have no
idea why there are two Okamotos in my... story idea. Tell me what's
_your_ interpretation of the story and... um... what it has to do with
Schrodinger's Cat. You know, so that I'm sure I interpreted _that_
thought experiment correctly."

"Are you writing a screenplay about it or something? You've always been
fascinated with film, but I never imagined you'd actually try your hand
at filmmaking. You're smarter than I gave you credit for, Yamamoto-kun!"

Wow. She filled in all the holes in his story for him. This was awfully
convenient. Even he was amazed at how the whole "thought experiment"
story was writing itself. "Er, we'll cross that bridge when we get
there, Machida. What do you think? Why is it that there are two numbers
and two Okamotos?"

"_Obviously_, the other Seiko-chan you talked to lives in a parallel
universe not unlike ours, but is different in some ways," Miku began,
and it was _right then_ that Tomoyuki's mind was blown, although he
still had no idea what parallel universes had to do with cats that were
dead and alive at the same time.

"Oh yeah, of course. Right. Parallel universes. You got it on your first
try, kiddo," he told her while realization crashed inside the surface of
his mind like sea waves against a cliff side. So _that_ was why the
Seiko he talked to on the phone and the Seiko he knew in real-life had
no idea what happened to each other. It made perfect sense!

He could've sworn it was the handiwork of alien body snatchers, though.

Wait a minute. No. This was nonsense. Science Fiction. If Miku had
figured out that he was telling the truth, she'd tearfully have him
put inside a paddy wagon and committed to a mental institution. This
couldn't possibly be happening for real... Could it?

Machida continued. "The Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment has roots
with the Multiverse Theory or the Many-Worlds Interpretation of Quantum
Mechanics. It's hard to explain in layman terms, and it's more
applicable to quantum processes than macroscopic creatures like
humans..."

"Please speak in plain Japanese," begged Tomoyuki.

"Okay. Imagine you're playing Dragon Quest. Imagine you're stuck
fighting a final boss or beating a difficult level. Through trial and
error, you should eventually beat him, right? Well, what if you have a
whole collection of those saves together, playing at the same time?
That's the "many worlds" I'm talking about.

"Even if only two of your saves are playing simultaneously, it's still
applicable. There's one save where you got hit by instant death and the
main attacker of your party dies, and there's another where you kill the
boss before that happens. The same could be said of your story. There's
a world where Seiko-chan is in love with you, and there's another world
where she isn't."

Yamamoto blinked and shook his head to clear it. "Uh right. So yeah.
Parallel universes. I'm familiar with the concept. I saw it on TV once."

"It's brilliant! You should work on writing your story right now! I
can't wait to read it! If it wasn't ethically questionable, I'd steal
your story idea right under your nose and use it on my own story
about..."

"...Gay guys named after scientists who may or may not want to bone each
other?" he asked.

She pouted. "It sounds so stupid when you put it that way, but my
collaborator liked it, and my story is better than it sounds."

"All right, all right. I'm not judging your boy's love story or anything
like that," reassured Yamamoto as he palmed his face and rubbed his
temples. This couldn't be happening. This was something straight out of
a manga or a sci-fi movie. "If that really happened to me, where do I go
from here?"

"Hmm? Do you mean your story?"

"Uh, right. The story."

She preened herself. "Do you have a case of writer's block or something?
Not to brag, but I'm a bit of a writer myself. What plot hole do you
want filled or area of conflict you want resolved?"

"Well, I... by that, I mean, the protagonist... said some nasty words to
Okamoto, which led to him getting socked on the face."

With half-lidded eyes, Machida said, "Gee, that sounds awfully
familiar."

"Shut up. Anyway, what do you think? I also had a problem with the
Okamoto on the phone, but that one puzzles me even more, because all I
did was mention Sugata, but she hung up on me for some reason."

"Wait. You made a character on your story hang up on the protagonist
that was _clearly_ based on you, and you don't know the reason why?"

"Uh, yeah? Let's just say I wrote myself into a corner, okay?"

Machida groaned. "If the Seiko-chan in your story is anything like the
Seiko-chan in our real world, then she'll forgive you in three days
tops. In regards to the other Seiko-chan you were calling on the
phone... I don't know. You know how alternate or parallel universes
work, right? She might act or react completely different altogether to
the Seiko-chan in our own dimension... I mean, the main character's own
dimension."

"What if the only difference she has with the other Okamoto is that
she's in love with me?" he asked.

"Now that's just silly," she answered with a single chuckle while
putting her hands on her hips.

"If the alternate Seiko-chan is in love with you, then _of course_
that's not the only thing that's different about her and the real Seiko-
chan. Something must have happened to her, to you, or to how you two met
in her dimension in order for her to fall for the other you. Even if
she's _exactly_ like Seiko-chan in every way, she'd still have different
experiences than the Seiko-chan we know and love. Do you get what I'm
saying?"

"I guess..." said Tomoyuki with a shrug before exclaiming, "Oh shit."

"What's the matter?"

"I just realized something."

He remembered his conversation with the "alternate" Seiko Okamoto.
Perhaps something had happened to the alternate Sugata in her dimension
that was a taboo subject.

The Hiroshima delinquent could've died for all Tomoyuki knew, and he
insensitively mentioned him to Seiko, or at least to the other Seiko. It
must have been quite the traumatizing experience for the alternate
Okamoto to hang up just like that.

"Does it have something to do with your story?" Machida interrupted
Yamamoto in mid-thought.

"Uh, yeah. It does."

"Well, what is it?"

"Uh, spoilers. You should wait until the story is finished."

"Oh, right! Thanks for the head's up!" said Machida as she lay down in
her designated guest futon. "Aren't you going to sleep on your bed?"

"Nah. How could I sleep there when you're sleeping on the floor? You
take the bed."

"...I don't think I'm prepared to sleep in a guy's bed yet."

"Yeah, of course not. Good night, Machida."

"Good night, Yamamoto-kun!"

He took out his cell phone, picked the name listed as, "Seiko Okamoto",
and immediately texted,  "I'm sorry for what happened today. Can we talk
tomorrow? I was being a huge ass."

He then stood up, switched off the lights, and went back to his futon.
Tired beyond words, he collapsed unto his Japanese-style "sleeping bag"
and slept a dreamless sleep.


===


Early morning Friday, back in the hallway leading to Section 2B's
classroom...

Ever since Seiko... Alternate Universe Seiko or AU Seiko (yeah, that
made more sense in his head) hung up on him yesterday, she hadn't
called or texted him once.

This was too bad, because he really needed to talk to her to clear
things up and confirm Machida's theories. He texted her a couple of
times after waking up, but he never received a reply.

Truth be told, he still wasn't fully convinced by Machida's alternate
universe theory. As far as he was concerned, the jury was still out on
that.

Nevertheless, AU Okamoto must've been really pissed off with Tomoyuki
bringing up Sugata in the middle of their argument. Only the gods knew
what had transpired between her and the Kazuhito in her dimension.

His eyebrows furrowed. Seiko... the Seiko in his dimension or the real
world as he knew it... had mentioned something about already being in
love with someone else, which was why she couldn't accept his feelings
for her.

Unless she was giving him lip service, then the person whom she was in
love with could very well be her childhood friend from Hiroshima, the
blond delinquent known as Kazuhito Sugata.

"Hey, Cherry Boy!"

Speak of the devil. "Hey, Sugata."

"Sooo did you get my text yesterday?"

"Yeah, I did. Thanks... but like I told you, I already have Okamoto's
number," said Yamamoto.

Sugata shrugged. "Oh, I remembered what you said yesterday. I just
didn't believe you."

"Eh?"

"I asked the Amazon Queen if you've been calling her, and she nearly bit
my head off, saying that you were calling her a liar or something
because you never called her or anything. So I figured you must've
gotten the wrong number and was calling someone who was pulling a prank
on you, so I gave you her real number. Have you texted her?"

Well, Yamamoto didn't expect _that_ to happen. He'd been seriously
underestimating the Yankee's intelligence. He was actually quick on the
uptake... quicker than him, even. "No, I haven't, but I will soon.
Thanks, Sugata."

Kazuhito wrung his hands and grinned. "So about the Class Rep's
number..."

Tomoyuki groaned. "Look, if you really want to get Machida's phone
number, you'll have to ask her yourself." He blinked. "She's the Class
Rep. Her number is supposed to be available to everyone and stuff."

"Aw, but that's her landline number. Nobody uses landlines anymore!"

"Talk to her through her landline, then, and ask her cell phone number."
Seriously, this was the so-called Casanova and Teen Heartthrob of their
class?

Their conversation ground to a halt. In front of the classroom stood a
quiet Amazon Queen. Her eyes lighted up as she saw the both of them
approach.

"Hey, Amazon Queen."

"Piss off, Furyou-kun."

"Riiight." Kazuhito turned and gave Tomoyuki's shoulder a friendly
slap. "Catch you later, Cherry Boy. Oh, and good luck!"

"H-Hey, Sugata, wait!" said Yamamoto, but the Yankee already entered the
classroom.

"We need to talk," said Seiko without ceremony before grabbing hold of
Tomoyuki's hand and leading him away somewhere else more private, like
the blind corner between the rest rooms and the staircase.

As she let go of Yamamoto's hand, he hid his face and desperately hoped
she didn't see him blush.

"Hey."

"O-Oh, hey."

"That's a nasty black eye there. I'm sorry I hit you so hard."

"Yeah, well... I said some things, you said some things. I-It's water
under the bridge. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. Have you talked to Miku-chin yet?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Yesterday." He realized too late that she meant,
"Have you talked about Miku-chin's feelings for you yet?"

"That's great news!" She winked. "Good luck. Come on, I'll race you back
to class!"

"H-Hey, wait!" he blurted out. That tomboy was like a storm sometimes.
Unlike AU Seiko, whom he could talk to for hours on end (even about
topics that didn't interest him in the least otherwise), he couldn't
make heads or tails out of the "real" Seiko. It looked like both
Machida and Sugata were right. Okamoto wasn't one to hold grudges.

Seiko halted in mid-sprint as she saw a teacher come from the stairs.
She then turned around and tiptoed quietly towards Yamamoto's direction
as he himself halted. "Change of plans. We're going to walk briskly back
to class!"

Yamamoto covered his mouth to keep himself from laughing out loud.
Although _this_ Okamoto friendzoned him yesterday, he couldn't help but
be charmed by her antics.

"Oh, by the way... thanks for the sweet text messages. You should've
introduced yourself first before sending me all those mails, though."

"W-What?"

Tomoyuki's steps stuttered to a halt as his eyes almost jumped out of
their sockets, his mouth agape.

"Is something the matter?"

"Oh, no, no! I was just thinking about some stuff!" he said to Seiko.

Holy shit. He was so tired by all that alternate reality and parallel
universe talk with Machida that he accidentally sent his "I'm sorry!"
messages to the wrong person.

He remembered that the number of AU Seiko... the one with the area code
of zero-three... was listed on his phone as "Amazon Queen", not "Seiko
Okamoto". No wonder she hadn't answered any of his texts! He sent them
to the wrong Seiko!

"Yamamoto-kun! Where are you going? The classroom is this way!" yelped
Seiko as Tomoyuki ran to the opposite direction.

"I have something to take care of! I'll be right back!"


==


AU Seiko wouldn't pick up. Tomoyuki had been calling her all throughout
the day, and she wouldn't pick up. He kept getting the busy tone and the
automated message saying her number was out of coverage area or
something.

He should give up. It wasn't as if he was trying to call the real Seiko.
Besides, if this was really a transdimensional call, then why was his
phone service able to connect to her dimension's service? It was more
likely that this was some crazy girl from Hokkaido who sounded and acted
just like Seiko and pretended she was her for shits and giggles.

Dammit, was it bad for him to wish that he could hook up with the crazy
Hokkaido girl instead? Also, what will his parents say when they got
their phone bill and it turned out he'd been making phone calls all the
way to Hokkaido?

Wait, that didn't make a lot of sense. _He_ called _her_ instead of the
other way around. Maybe she wasn't from Hokkaido. Maybe it was someone
he knew... or knew him... and she was stalking him, to the point of
entering her number into his cell phone as "Seiko Okamoto" and tricking
him into thinking she was Seiko.

Dammit, why wasn't she picking up? She should pick up the phone and get
it over with. Even if she decided to ultimately reject him like the real
Seiko did, he'd be fine with it, as long as she picked up her damn
phone!

He was so distracted by this issue that it took him until gym class to
realize that people around class had been abuzz about what happened to
him and Seiko... the one in his universe, anyway.

He got teased about being rejected and friendzoned as usual, but like
the fat kid who was always called fat, it got old pretty quick and
everyone dropped it eventually. The fact that they barely got a reaction
from him probably helped.

Then, during lunch, while sitting on the roof deck and eating his
sandwich that, to him, vaguely tasted like paper, his phone started
ringing. It was her. It was Alternate Universe Seiko.

"Hello, Okamoto!"

"You bastard! WHO ARE YOU?"

"...Eh?"

"I mustered the courage to talk to you face-to-face earlier today, but
it turned out that _you_ had a different number. Or rather, Yamamoto-kun
did. I should have _known_ as soon as I figured out your area code was
from another part of Japan that you were a fake!"

"NO! Wait, I can explain everything...!" Those were the famous last
words of all boyfriends who were about to get dumped.


===


Next: What now?

Yeah, cliffhanger. Deal with it. Oh, and so far, it seems that this
story has a minimalist or omega cast going for it. We'll see if that's
for the best.

Farewell,
Abdiel
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