[FFML] [Ranma] Hearts and Minds, Omake and Author Notes

[Gary Kleppe]

                             HEARTS AND MINDS
                          OMAKE AND AUTHOR NOTES

                        Ranma 1/2 manga fanfiction
                              by Gary Kleppe

	The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation of and rightful
property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission.
This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered
substantially or used for profit in any way.


                                  ______


HaMake 1: Ki-rogenous Zones
___________________________


"Hey, Akane," Ranma said. "There's something I've been meaning to ask
you." They had just finished cleaning up after a practice session and
were sitting in the living room, waiting for Soun and Nodoka to get
dressed for a night out.

"What's that?"

"Remember back when we were fighting Herb? You used two new ki attacks.
I figured the first one was based on your anger at seeing me with that
Mongol woman. What was the second? What did you see when you looked into
the gem?"

"Oh." Akane flushed. "I saw *you*, actually."

"You saw me in the gem? Wasn't I there at the time so that you could
look across the room and see me?"

"You were there, yeah, but the image... er... was a little different."

"How so?" Ranma asked with a carefully neutral face. He was sure he was
getting at something that he'd be able to tease her about for a long
time.

"You were dressed... a certain way," she said.

"What way?"

Her face reddening, Akane picked up Hikaru's sketch pad and started to
draw.

Ranma looked at what was a rough sketch of his male self, naked except
for a g-string narrowly covering his genitals. "Akane?!" he said with
mock surprise. "I'm absolutely shocked to learn that I'm married to a...
pervert!"

"Jerk!" She socked him in the shoulder, and laughed. "I can *still* do
both of those attacks, you know, though not with anywhere near the power
that the gem gave me."

"That's great, Akane. As the one who taught you Ki Attacks 101, I'm
proud."

Akane smiled mischeviously. "I think we should get you an outfit like
that, Ranma. Our anniversary is coming up."

Ranma could feel his own face turn red. "I couldn't wear something like
that! I wouldn't even know where to buy it."

"Me neither. But I bet Nabiki would. Come on, it'd be just between us."

Ranma looked away. "No chance."

"Remember last year, when I wore that satin and lace nighty that you
liked? I think fair's fair, don't you?"

Ranma thought for a moment. "You're right, Akane. We *should* be fair,
so I *should* do the same." He changed into woman form. "You do still
have that nighty, right?"

Akane laughed. "Nice try. I'll talk to Nabiki."

Ranma sighed. It was odd that he felt no compunctions about flaunting
his female body. But doing something like that with his man side felt...
weird. But like she said, fair was fair, and it would be just the two of
them. What could happen that would be so bad?







The doctor glanced down at his clipboard. "Mrs. Saotome, I'm sorry your
husband had to spend your anniversary night in the hospital. But I have
his test results. He's recovering quickly and he should soon be as good
as new in a few days."

"Thanks, doctor." Sheepishly, Akane looked back at Ranma's hospital bed.
"Sorry," she said for what had to be about the twenty-seventh time.

"Akane, when I'm out of here, I'll need to teach you Ki Attacks 102: How
to keep them from going off when you don't want them to."

                                  ______


Series Notes
____________


Yes, this is it. You hold in your hands (so to speak) the very last
piece of Ranma 1/2: Hearts and Minds. I've been writing this series off
and on (mostly off) for the better part of fifteen years. Sometimes it
seemed like it would never be finished. Sometimes near the end it seemed
like nobody cared about it all that much anymore. But I always said that
barring major disaster I would eventually finish what I started. I had
no idea that it would take this long; the need for gainful employment
took precedence, as did starting my own family.

A lot of people deserve thanks for helping out with this story. First of
all, the prereaders, each of whom went over one or more chapters before
the rest of you got to see them. Roughly in descending order of how many
chapters they did, they are Yoiko, Krista Fisk (nee Perry), Ed Becerra,
Keener Barnes, Lara Bartram, Matt Posner, KaraOhki, Thomas Schmidt, and
Bob Macfie. Ed also deserves thanks for sharing his expertise on warfare
and the military; Ranma and company's guerilla campaign against the
Mongol soldiers in chapters 3-4 mostly came out of IRC discussions with
him.

Then there are those who sent helpful comments and reactions to the FFML
or over email. There are too many to list them all, but particular
thanks to Bert Miller, Mythril Moth, Bjorn Christianson, Alan Harnum,
Ronny Hedin, Michael Noakes, Anand Rao, Rakhal Stormwarden, Shymrod,
Grayson Towler, Ginrai, Mike Grant, Denise Cameron, and Jiro Maeda. If
I'm omitting somebody who sent more than one or two responses, it's not
that I'm intending to slight anyone; it's just my bad memory and
incomplete email archives. Extra-special thanks to Michael Clark who
posted detailed, thoughtful comments on *every* chapter during the final
series of reposts.

So where did all of this come from? When I started writing fanfic I
wanted to eventually write every major type of fanfic, except for ones
that I generally didn't like such as non-parody self-inserts and lemons.
(I eventually did write the latter in collaboration with Yoiko.) So I
wanted to do a continuation. Ranma 1/2 has a large and diverse cast, and
I wanted to do some interesting development with all of the major
characters, so such a thing would need to be a major work. To avoid this
being just another match-'em-up fic, I would tie each character's
individual storyline into an overall plot that would take place a number
of years after the end of the series.

But what would that story be? The basic idea I came up with was that if
Ranma and friends are as powerful as they seem to be, then they could
become enough of a factor to significantly influence world events and be
in conflict with other powerful persons or organizations. Threatening
the Amazon village was the easiest way to get this to happen. Any place
capable of producing someone as powerful as Cologne should've attracted
attention long ago, and they're just one of the many players in that
region.

I pretty much had the basic plot in mind when I started writing. The
only significant late addition was Zhen Biaozi as a renegade Amazon
Elder. A lot of times I'd take scenes that needed to be there to
establish plot points or exposition and rethink them to have something
more interesting going on. But the basic plot and most of the character
development ideas were always there.

                                  ______


HaMake 2: By The Book
_____________________


Gan's Restaurant stood at the edge of a rural Mongol village. But for
the hand-lettered sign that said "EAT," the run-down building would have
been mistaken for a farm house. But the food was reliable, usually, and
there weren't a lot of other options this far away from the city.

Tanaka Kenjiro sat at the counter, munching down rice and beans, wishing
the man next to him wasn't so conspicuous. Around here, white-skinned
westerners were about as common as green-skinned Martians.

"Let's get to business," the man said in passable Japanese. "There's a
certain four people that my superiors would like to have eliminated. We
understand that you used to provide such services for the Yakuza."

"Yeah," Kenjiro said. "But we had whatcha call a little falling out.
They got the idea that I'd been doing freelance work and not cutting
them in."

"Were you?"

"Naaaah. I always did everything above board, by the book. I'm an honest
crook. But some joker set me up so *he* could take the business *I* was
getting. You can't trust nobody no more, I tell ya. But the bigwigs
weren't about to believe me on that, so I had to get out of the country
fast, for the sake of my health."

The westerner handed over a manila folder. "Here's the information on
the persons we'd like sanctioned."

Kenjiro scanned past photographs and printed information sheets. "Yeah,
I've heard of most of these people. I think some of them are part of the
new government that's being formed. Is that why you want 'em bumped off?
So you can get your own people in instead?"

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies."

*Jerk,* Kenjiro thought. "Okay, whatever. I'll do it if the price you're
offering is right."

"I think you'll find--"

A commotion arose in the front of the restaurant. Diners scurried out,
some of them upending their seats in the process. A moment later, a
panda bear entered. "Grrrowf!" it said.

"Jesus fucking--" The westerner pulled a handgun out of his sport coat
as he stood up and stepped back.

In no time, the panda crossed the room and grabbed ahold of the arm that
the gun was in. The man yelped as his weapon fell to the floor.

Kenjiro backed away slowly.

The panda staggered up to the table and picked up the bowl that Kenjiro
had been eating from. Expertly wielding his chopsticks, it stuffed
several mouthfuls of rice and beans into its mouth and chewed noisily.

The western man inched around the table, angling to where he could make
a grab for his gun.

"Grrrowf!" The panda picked up the gun, aimed, and fired three shots
directly into the man's chest.

Kenjiro raised his hands in surrender. "What the hell?" he said.

The panda threw a piece of paper towards him, then marched out of the
building. Kenjiro unrolled the paper, which looked like a picture of a
panda, maybe from a children's book. Below the picture was a line of
text.

		A PANDA BEAR EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES

                                  ______

The Match-ups
_____________


HaM is not really of the "match 'em all up" genre that you see in
fanfiction. Character match-ups in this series and in the Preludes are
explored to the extent they are not for their own sake but as vehicles
for developing the characters. Part of my goal for this series was to do
some sort of interesting development with each one of the regular
characters and the pairings below were mostly chosen because I thought
they could happen and because I thought they would show something about
the characters. Since as I said HaM is not a match-'em'-up fic as such,
it leaves the relationships in various stages of development, with some
of the cast not involved in any at all.


Ranma/Akane: Takahashi has called them the only real couple in the
series, and I have no idea how anyone could read it and not agree with
that. This doesn't mean that there's no sense in considering
alternatives. I myself have written Ranma/Kasumi (_A Peaceful Life_),
Ranma/Shampoo with Akane/Ryoga (_Tangled Web_), and probably others that
don't spring to mind. But such things need to be thought of as
alternative in some sense and that isn't what HaM is about.

Ryoga/Akari: Probably the second most canonical couple of the series,
but one that doesn't get explored too much in fanfiction. The typical
fanfic writer seems more interested in contriving to get rid of Akari.
Something like "Akari? Oh yeah, a sixteen-ton weight fell on her last
month. Sad." Or maybe just "Akari? Who's that?"

Tatewaki/Shan Pu: I admit to having had a soft spot for these two as a
couple ever since matching them in _A Peaceful Life._ The superficial
similarities in some ways are just too good to ignore. It's also
interesting to see macho-man Tatewaki in a gender-reversed situation
where he's expected to take a less dominant role. Of course he had to go
through some growth before anybody was likely to take him seriously.

Mu Si/Azusa: Another couple that I wanted to explore based on
circumstantial traits: She loves cute stuff, and he can produce lots of
it. With the treatment of Azusa in this series, their relationship ended
up being more akin to father-daughter. But that may have been what Mu
needed, to learn to be able to give what someone needs rather than what
he wants to give.

Ukyo/Mikado: Ryoga and Konatsu seem to be the most popular matches for
Ukyo. Her tendency in the series was to use people to get what she
wanted, and either of those guys would've let her get away with it. I
thought it would be more interesting to put her with someone having his
own agenda who wouldn't just give her what she wanted and who would rub
her the wrong way at first.

Gosunkugi/new character: Since Gos came along looking for adventure, my
idea was for him to go through the series being romantically interested
in someone who would give him ambiguous signals. He would keep hoping
that she would give him a definite sign one way or the other, but she
never would, so at the very end of the story he'd have to take a chance
on her anyway. Obviously no existing character was going to work for
this, so enter TP.

Nabiki/nobody: In the original series, Nabsy typically viewed male
suitors as a vehicle for getting things that she wanted, so whatever
goals she has for personal fulfillment probably lie in other directions.
I'm not even sure what kind of person under what circumstances could
change this, and in this story I didn't even try.

Tsubasa/nobody: Yeah, like this is a surprise to anyone. :)  Tsubasa is
only in this story for his scene with the tank, and to satirize certain
attitudes toward the opposite gender. I omitted him from the final
chapter just to see if anyone noticed; no one did.


                                  ______


HaMake 3: A Man Among Transitions
_________________________________


Tofu stared intently at the computer screen, scanning through paragraph
after paragraph of prose and dialog. And he counted. Kasumi... Akane...
Shan Pu... Ji Ma... Kodachi... Ukyo. Six. At least. Maybe more that we
don't know about.

The sound of the doorbell echoed through the house.

Tofu supposed he should see who was at the door. But he really wanted to
read the story again.

The doorbell rang once more.

Tofu sighed. "Honey?" he called. "Could you get the door?"

"No, I couldn't."

"Please? I'm reading fanfiction."

"I mean I really couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a ghost. I no longer have a corporeal form."

"Oh." Tofu stood up and walked to the door. "Right. I keep forgetting."

Kasumi hovered above the staircase. "You shouldn't be surprised. My
premonition of the future told us that we would be re-enacting a Vincent
Seifert fanfic."

Tofu stepped down the stairs. "I was really hoping it would be a
different one."

"I know," Kasumi said with sympathy.


[Vince's site, for those who don't get the reference:
http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/index.htm]


                                  ______


What's in the names?
____________________


Perhaps the most frequently asked question about this series has been:
what are all the hidden jokes or other meanings in the names? They are
listed below. If something isn't listed then it's probably an arbitrary
name (most of the Mongol names are in this category). Note that joke
names are provided to give a laugh to those who bother to look them up,
and aren't necessarily meant to describe the characters and institutions
in question. Ikasama, for example, is meant as a bona fide (though not
very prestigious) university.

-Lan Zhilei: Sounds like "lingere".

-Chapatsu Hiroshi, Mifune Daisuke, Nikai Yuka: These characters are
unnamed in the original series. The given names Hiroshi, Daisuke, and
Yuka (as well as Sayuri who only has a cameo or two in HaM and no family
name given) are from the TV adaptation, which isn't canon for HaM but
the names are established and as good as anything. "Chapatsu" means
light-haired; Hiroshi was referred to by this in the Ranma memorial
book, most likely as a description, but I use it as his family name
because it's as good as anything else. Mifune Daisuke is the name of a
supporting character from another series whose characters are far better
known in the USA by their dub names; our Daisuke doesn't look nor behave
much at all like that one, but a name's a name. (Daisuke's scene in
Prelude 10 attempted to bring him more in line with that other Daisuke.)
"Nikai" means "second floor"; using this as Yuka's family name is an in-
joke based on "Luka," a pop song -- see Prelude 8 where she and somebody
else more or less recite the lyrics.

-Donku (Prelude 2): means "slow, stupid" I'm pretty sure his company,
Tokutekunai, meant something too but I don't recall what that was.

-Kaede: Based, as you've probably guessed, on the similar character from
Inu-Yasha.

-Komori: Means "babysitter".

-Shan Peine (Pu's dad): Sounds like "Champagne". This character appears
in the original series but is unnamed there.

-Inchiki, Choromakasu, and Kapparau (Prelude 8): As one commenter put
it, the rough Japanese equivalent of "Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe."

-Ikasama: Means "fraud, trickery, counterfeit"

-Liang (Ranma's alias in Prelude 8): Chinese word meaning two (of
something). This meaning has no real relevance to the story but I used
it here because it had been Ranma's alias in my earlier _There Goes The
Neighborhood_, there indicating his room number at Maison Ikkoku.

-Joseph R. Kane: An allusion to the mythological character Cain. (Notice
how in one scene he refers to the Amazons as very able.)

-UCF: See the George Carlin album "An Evening With Wally Londo."

-Feng Lili: "Feng" is a not-uncommon Chinese surname meaning "phoenix."
"Lili" is just a generic female given name. I first made up this name
for another fanfic, _Pools of Horror_. It's since been used by other
authors, which is fine with me, but it shouldn't be mistaken for canon.

-Hakano Jiro: No comment on this one. There is a reason why this guy is
called what he's called, but I'm not saying what it is.

-Yang Wei (Lili's fiancee mentioned in prelude 10): A Chinese name, a
homonym of which means "impotent." Used first in _Pools of Horror_ in
which Lili, having taken over Ranma's body, mistakes Tatewaki for her
old beau and asks him if he is really Yang Wei.

-Yabuisha Hiru (doctor in prelude 10): I think this meant "Doctor
Leech."

-Ke Lashi (Shan Pu's mother from "A Different Faith"): Sounds like
"clash."

-Xi Ne, Ge Biaori, He Chuli (mentioned in "A Different Faith"): In-joke
names chosen to sound like characters from a certain '90s TV show about
a woman warrior.

-Ke Pute (Shan Pu's deceased grandmother mentioned in "A Different
Faith"): Sounds like "kaput."

-Zhuangsuan (university in "A Different Faith"): Means "to play dumb; to
pretend to not know."

-Ti Pi: Sounds like "T. P."

-Tai Baote (an Elder in "A Different Faith"): Sounds like "Tybalt," the
alias used by moderators of the Fanfiction Mailing List around
1997-1999.

-Yaocaicun: I don't know what this means if anything but it's the canon
name for this village, the one that Pink and Link come from.

-Zhen Ben: Means "really stupid."

-Zhen Biaozi; Literally means "real whore" but would probably be taken
as something like "real bitch."

-Bi Dei: Sounds like "bidet".

-Kui Ziling: Sounds like "quisling."

-Ban Daide (healer): Sounds like "band-aid."

-Ke Ni (mentioned as a dead Amazon): Sounds like a South Park reference.
(This author has never seen any South Park but nevertheless knows the
catch phrases and so figures that the readers probably do too.)

-Rou (soldier killed by Ti Pi): Means "meat" in Mandarin which
accurately indicates his fate in the story. His given name wasn't given
in the story, but if it had been it would've meant "dead."

-Aburakkoi (restaurant that Saotome Hikaru likes): Roughly means "greasy
spoon."

-Bie Baoyuan (hotel): Means "Don't complain."

-Linghungbao: Means "Soul gem."

-Cunzhuang: Fictional village whose name means "village."

-Congtou (newspaper read by Mu Si): Means "Onion." I hope I don't need
to explain this one.

-Mu Yi, Mu Er, and Mu San (Mu Si's brothers): Yi, er, san, are the
numbers one, two, three. The joke is that the syllable for four is a
homonym (though with a different intonation) for Mu Si's given name.

-Kakikizu: means "scratch."

-Private Martinez: In-joke reference to a certain fanfic writer made
infamous by Megane 6.7's MSTings of his work.

-Dong Wupo: If I remember right, it means "cold witch."

-Tsukubari (Ukyo's dad's supplier in the old days): Means "boasting,
pride." I can't remember why I used it for this guy.

-Akemi (Ukyo's restaurant supply company): Used here because it sounds
like "Acme."

-Tekido (Gos' old school); means "middle" in the sense of "moderate."

-Fukumi Warai: Roughly means "chuckles."

-Tsakhi: Name of a real-world Mongol government figure. The guy in the
story could be him, but more likely is just using the name as his alias.

-Pu Yichi: Sounds like "Peach." This character is unnamed in canon and
generally just known as the Jusenkyo Guide. His daughter's name, Pu
Lanmu ("Plum"), is canon, so I went with the fruit motif for his.


                                  ______


HaMake 4: Snack to the Future
_____________________________


Ukyo glanced down at her futon. "Feeling better, sugar?"

The young lady sat up. "Where-- when--"

"My name's Kuonji Ukyo. You collapsed right outside my okonomiyaki shop.
I brought you up here to rest. Do you need a doctor?"

"No, I'll be all right." She stood up, straightening out her uniform. It
looked like standard sailor-style high school issue, though the colors
didn't match any of the ones in the area. "Thanks for helping me." She
glanced at the daily newspaper on Ukyo's desk.

"My pleasure, hon," Ukyo said, not really understanding any of what the
girl said. "C'mon downstairs and I'll fix you something to eat."

"I don't have any money."

Ukyo smiled. "Don't worry. It's on the house." She'd seen this girl
appear out of nowhere. Anybody who could do that had to have a *really*
interesting story to tell. And even if she wouldn't be able to tell it,
after so many years of pinching pennies it felt good to be able to do
something nice without worrying about it.

"That's very nice of you," the girl said as she walked toward the door.
"My name's Suzuko," she added. "Nakamura Suzuko."




Suzuko walked down the stairs into the restaurant and was soon sitting
on a stool chowing down on okonomiyaki. Mikado watched as Ukyo prepared
three more on the grill.

"This is really good, Ukyo," Suzuko said as she stuffed another bite
into her mouth.

"Thanks, sugar. I'm very proud of it." Ukyo's spatula flashed as she
packaged okonomiyaki into boxes. "Is there anyone I should call on your
behalf? I don't want them to worry about you."

"You wouldn't be able to reach my husband. But it's okay. I'll get back
in plenty of time."

"All right, then." Ukyo handed a stack of boxes to Mikado. "Here are
those deliveries, hon. Address is on the top box."

Mikado nodded. "A great pleasure to meet you, my dear." He bowed at
Suzuko, paused as if expecting that something else might happen, and
then exited.

"Your husband?" Suzuko asked. "He's charming."

"Charming he is, yeah," Ukyo said. "We're not married, though we might
be headed in that direction. I'm just not sure if I want to take that
step, y'know? He's trying hard, I know he is. But ladies men die hard.
I'm sure he was tempted to kiss you on his way out. I just wish I knew
whether this was going to turn out well. But I guess there's no way to
know until you try."

"Maybe." Suzuko smiled enigmatically. "Listen, I need to step outside
for something. I should be back in a few minutes and then we can talk
more about this. Okay?" She pulled a cigarette lighter from a pocket.

"Sure. Enjoy your smoke, and thanks for *not* doing it in here."

"I don't smoke. This is for something else."

"I understand," Ukyo said, not understanding at all.





The giant sign read _The Original Ucchan's_. The building had obviously
been remodeled, and now spanned its entire block. Suzuko stared as
crowds of diners walked in and out. Obviously business had improved.

Traveling through time seemed to get easier every time she did it. All
she needed now was the tiny flame that the lighter produced, and she was
sure that with a little more practice she'd be able to do it without any
fire at all. Her accuracy was also getting better. The time before,
she'd been in danger and had to jump without any preparation and still
ended up on Ukyo's doorstep which had been fairly close to where she'd
aimed. This time she'd been ready and had gotten to the precise time and
place she'd wanted.

She walked through the door. The interior had been expanded, with a
separate kitchen and rooms full of dining tables and booths. "Good
afternoon. How many in your party?" a hostess in a uniform similar to
Ukyo's asked.

"I'm not eating. I came to talk to Kuonji Ukyo. I met her once twenty
years ago. I'm not sure if she'd remember--"

"Suzuko!" Ukyo came through a set of doors. "It *is* you!" She now wore
a kimono with an alternating purple and yellow diamond pattern. Her face
showed a few signs of wear, but overall she looked a good deal more
confident and in control. "Get my friend whatever she'd like," she said
to the server.

"Oh no, I just ate. I just came to see you, Ukyo. How long has it been?"
Suzuko said, not mentioning that she knew the answer. Objectively twenty
years, subjectively only a few minutes. They went over to the corner
table and sat. "How have you been? It looks like business is good. Did
you finally marry Mikado?"

"Yeah, I did," Ukyo said. "And it was just the way you predicted. Some
rough patches, but overall I'm happy and wouldn't change anything. He's
been a good husband and a good father."

"I'm so happy it worked out for you!"

"Of course Kishu... that's our son... *nobody* could've predicted him.
He should be back from school any minute now. If you're sticking around
you really need to meet him. I love the boy dearly, but he's a one-of-a-
kind experience."

"Sure, I'd like to meet him," Suzuko said.

The two stepped outside. A pair of restaurant patrons intercepted Ukyo,
and the three of them conversed.

"Excuse me, madam?" a voice called from behind Suzuko.

She turned, just in time to catch an object that was thrust into her
hands. She looked to see what it was. It was a pastry of some sort, with
a pie-like crust shell on the outside and custard-like filling on the
inside. Bits of bacon and vegetable poked out from within the filling.

She looked up to see a boy in what was obviously a school uniform. He
was thin but muscular, like a runner. "Five hundred and twelve," he
said.

"Come again?"

"Five hundred and twelve women," he said with stern seriousness, "each
more beautiful than the last. Five hundred and twelve beautiful women,
and I have given each one a quiche!"

[For those who don't know, Suzuko (no family name given in the series)
is the protagonist of _The Fire Tripper_, a Takahashi one-shot in which
the heroine is displaced in time when exposed to flames. Props (whatever
those are) to anyone who gets the reference in the family name that I
gave her.]

                                  ______

A Few Words From Kasumi
_______________________


Hello! This is Kasumi from HaM speaking. Well, not really speaking, but
actually typing. And it's actually teacher Kaede who's typing, since I'm
technically deceased. I don't mind that. It's actually convenient in
some ways. I don't need to spend time showering or changing clothes
anymore. I used to have problems around, er, that time of the month but
now I don't.

Some of you might remember that I did a revengefic against the author of
this story. I assure everyone that it was all done in good fun and that
our differences were worked out with no lasting hard feelings. Some have
speculated that my, er, revenging may have had something to do with the
nine-year hiatus between parts six and seven. I want to state
unequivocally that this is absolutely probably not true.

Anyway, I came here (even though I'm not really here) to talk (though
I'm not really talking) to you about something. It's come to my
attention that some of you out there are reading fanfics without paying
for them. But aren't fanfics free, you ask? Well, yes and no. A novel
trilogy the length of this story might cost you a thousand yen or so if
you bought it at a book shop. You don't need to do that for fanfics. You
pay for fanfics not with money but with feedback to their authors. It's
easy. Just hit reply (or if you're a ghost like me, have your living
host do it) and let the author know that you read the series, and say
what you thought of it.

But you don't have any great special insight or expertise, you say.
That's okay. You still read the story, and you can describe how you
experienced it. Your experience might be different than how any other
readers', and that makes it valuable. Once you get into the habit of
doing it you'll find that you have more and more to say as time goes on.
It's easy, it doesn't cost you anything, so do it every time you read a
fanfic. I hope this clarifies things, so I don't have to come and
explain it to you.

                                  ______


HaMake 5: Persona Non Grata
___________________________


"I don't trust that man," Akane said.

She and Nabiki watched from the living room as their father led the
bearded westerner into the dojo. "Why not?" Nabiki asked.

"Remember those memos that your hacker friends got ahold of? The ones
from those foreign government people who killed Kasumi? They said that
they were interested in martial arts training and how it can improve
people to the point where we're a match for their agents with paranormal
powers."

"Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"That must be one of them! I talked to him and he knows lots of things
that nobody else would. He knows who Ryoga is and even about Shan Pu and
Tatewaki getting married."

Nabiki laughed. "Akane, he's not a spy."

"How else could he know all of those things? It's unbelievable! First
they murder our sister and then they expect us to teach their people how
to fight? I've a good mind to march right into that dojo and tell him to
go away, that we don't want his kind around here. That seems like the
least we could do for our sister."

"If I thought he was who you think he is, I'd do a lot worse than that,"
Nabiki said. "But he isn't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Akane, as soon as this guy showed up asking for lessons, I checked into
him. I know exactly what he is, and it's nothing to do with any foreign
governments."

"Then what is he?"

Nabiki smirked. "He's a self-insert character."

"Oh." Akane thought for a moment. "Well, obviously that completely
changes things."




Akane marched into the dojo, with Nabiki directly behind her.

"Go away," she told the man. "We don't want your kind around here."

"Right," he said, and exited.

"I'm glad we cleared that up," Nabiki said.

"I did it for my sister," Akane said. "After all, Ukyo has a boyfriend
now, so it's you he'd be after."

                                  ______


And that's a wrap. To everyone who's made it this far, thank you for
being a part of this, and I hope you enjoyed it. For those who are
interested, I'm already working on a continuation of my other long-
unfinished series, _I Dream Of Ranma_.