[FFML] [Fanfic][Avengers][Draft 1] Siblings, Spiders, and Squirrels, Oh My! 5 - Home to Rome and Back Again
skychan
skywize at gmail.com
Thu Jan 31 07:53:57 PST 2013
I admit the line about MJ's death did sort of stand out. I particularly
appreciated the Church of Thor's use of Rataosker in putting down Doreen.
The discussion over schooling is interesting, but you have yet to show us
what the chores the kids have are and that seems like something you will
want/need to do especially if you keep refering back to the rules three.
You might have put in a comment about it being obvious who mockingbird was
married to after its said. It's also unclear why they let Tony go and
explain everything if they were afraid of being monitored through the
quinjet's skin as Barton DID find 3 watchers from which such monitoring
could be done. Finally the callback to the little birdies didn't seem to
be given quite enough weight as you might at least have they discuss the
matter with Jarvis if anyone had/has true concerns over it.
Roaming from Rome to Home as a title, or Romeing home? I dunno.
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