[FFML] [FanFic][SM][NETTG] Terra in Tokyo Ch. 12 (of 27) "Absolute Madness"

[Benjamin A. Oliver]

Sorry about all the fillet.  Or filler.  Or fillet of filler?  Maybe
it's like a kind of bland fish that's used to bulk up a flavorful but
small meal.

Anyway, we can start going crazy again.  Speaking of crazy....

I dedicate the opening scene of this chapter to my Finnish
artist-friend Esa Karjalainen.  Whenever I'm feeling too chipper, he's
always there with his depression and negativity handy at the very
moment I need it the most.  Without him, I'd never have gotten this
chapter right.  Thanks, Esa!  ^_^


Disclaimer:
This story is based loosely on Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon by Naoko
Takeuchi. This is a non-profit fan work created as a tribute, and no
infringement is intended. All rights to the characters, settings, and
situations of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon belong to Naoko Takeuchi,
Koudansha, TV Asahi, and Toei Douga, and DIC. ArbyFish belong to
Daniel Oliver and are used with permission.  Gotta have ArbyFish.
Wouldn't be proper if we didn't.


Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!!
Terra in Tokyo
Final Mix

---Chapter 12:  Absolute Madness

	Sailor Jupiter found Terra curled up in a corner of the mall's small,
darkened arcade, sniffling and staring forlornly at the glowing screen
of a Tetris game.

	"Why?" asked Terra in between strained giggles that sounded one step
away from insanity. "Why can't I figure out these puzzles?"

	Jupiter examined the redhead's expression, glancing between her and
the game.  Then she breathed a sigh of relief when Terra didn't bolt
again.  She'd known some people in her life who'd become mentally
unstable--many of them guys she'd attempted to make into
boyfriends--but Terra didn't yet strike her as being crazy.  She just
seemed to be trying to deal with overwhelming stress and not quite
managing.  Jupiter had to admit that she felt anxiety about the
situation too, what with the fate of the world resting in her and her
friends' hands.

	"But I'm a natural at fighting games and shooters," Terra continued,
and pointed a shaky finger at the high score list on the Soul Calibur
box.  Her initials flashed brightly at the top by Nightmare's
portrait.  "Why am I so good at fighting games and shooters?  I hate
fighting games and shooters!"  Her expression slipped into another
stage of confused frustration as her head slunk down into her hands.
"Don't I?"

	In any case, Makoto never had very many friends, but she did know a
couple of things that often helped her feel better when she was unsure
of herself, like having someone to put her arms around and a shoulder
to cry on.

	"I just don't know anymore," the Irish girl muttered onwards.
"Nothing makes any sense."

	Sailor Jupiter gingerly approached, sat down next to her, and placed
an arm across her shoulders.  "Hey, it's okay," Makoto whispered.
"It'll be alright."

	Terra sniffled some more, but didn't look up.  "No, it'll never be
okay.  Nothing'll ever be alright ever again."

	Jupiter took a breath and tried again a little more forcefully.
"Yes, it will!  Whatever happens, it'll be okay."

	Now Chibimoon looked up at her, flushed with reddened eyes from
crying.  "How can you know that?  You can't tell the future."

	"I don't know, but I'm sure it will be."

	Terra let out a short bark of derisive laughter.  "Optimism.  It's
stupid to be optimistic when the world's gonna get blown up just
'cause I'm useless, and suck so badly I'll get us all killed."

	Makoto shook her head.  "Don't say that.  You don't suck.  You saved
us all that one time, remember?"

	"Oh, that must have been a fluke.  I couldn't ever do that again.  I
do too suck!"

	"You don't."

	"I do!"

	"You're great!"

	"I'm terrible!"

	Jupiter realized she wasn't getting anywhere.  "Okay, I get the idea.
 You can shut up now."

	"No, I can't!" Terra retorted.  "Don't you see?  I'm totally unfit
for ANYTHING--"

	Sailor Jupiter couldn't take it anymore.  She drew her hand back and
smacked her friend viciously across the cheek, leaving a great big red
welt almost instantly after the sharp impact.

...

	Terra's mind reeled from the blow, all her assorted thoughts
unwinding themselves and sorting themselves back into... well, she
wouldn't say her thoughts were ever quite in order, but they at least
became a bit less knotted up and suffocating.

	By the time her consciousness came back into focus, she found herself
being shaken rather violently by the shoulders and shouted at.

	A second later, she realized it was Sailor Jupiter.  "SHEESH, SNAP
OUT OF IT, CHIBIMOON!"

	Chibimoon hadn't been looking when the sudden "crack" noise had
occurred, so she was caught at a loss.  "W-wha-what just happened?"
Then the nerves in her cheek informed her of massive capillary damage.
 "Ow!  My cheek!"  Her neck ached somewhat as well.  Whatever the
event had been, it was going to take time to heal.

	Makoto suddenly released her, jumped to her feet, and took a step
back.  "I-I'm sorry!  I overreacted.  Are you okay?"

	"Okay?"  Terra's mind collected the data from her nerve endings and
registered the possibilities, then combined a hypothesis with
information gathered from how the taller girl seemed to be standing.
"Did you just slap me?"

	"Yes.  But I didn't mean to.  You were talking, and... it just happened!"

	Terra experimented with moving her jaw, opening and closing her mouth
a few times.  The damage felt like it went pretty deep, almost to the
bone.  "Whoa, that sure was a nice shot.  You really pegged me there."
It kind of hurt to talk.

	"I said I'm sorry!"

	"No, no," Chibimoon replied, waving a calming gesture, "don't be
sorry.  In fact, thanks!  I needed that."

	"But you've got a big red mark all over your face.  Doesn't that hurt?"

	Terra cracked her neck a couple of times in an effort to relieve the
soreness and fingered her crimson cheek.  "Hoo-yeah, it hurts like
CRAZY.  But I don't mind.  Kind of like it, actually."  She looked
around.  "Where are we again?"

	Jupiter stared at her.  "Um, we're in the mall.  You wanted to go
shoe shopping, remember?  Then you went over to talk to some kids, and
they insulted you, so you ran off crying."

	Terra chewed on those words for a moment while her memories of those
events oozed back into her mind.  "Oh yeah, I did, didn't I?"  She
laughed nervously.  "I'm still going to need some time to sort my head
out, but I think I'll be okay for now."

	Makoto took her by the shoulders again and looked into her eyes.
"Are you sure?"

	Terra nodded confidently.  "Of course I'm sure.  I'll be together for
at least another few hours.  That is, unless Arby shows up."  As soon
as she said it, she slowed down and realized her mistake:  Speak the
'Fish's name, and he shall appear.

	But nothing happened.

	Terra breathed a sigh of relief.  "Whew!  I'm glad Arby didn't appear
right then."

	Then, a drain pipe cover lifted up and the ArbyFish popped his head
out, smiled at her, and said, "Yew rang?"

	"GAH!" Terra cried, jumping into Sailor Jupiter's arms.

	Pleased as punch, Arby fluttered up in front of her face and said,
"G'day!  Is we havin' a party?  Got'cha makeup on, Oye see."

	"Not you again," Jupiter grumbled.  Her voice conveyed the same level
of disdain she might afford a nerd who wouldn't leave her alone.
Clearly, Terra thought, she hadn't the slightest inkling of the
potential danger she was in.

	"Arby, go away," Chibimoon whispered forcefully.  "You've seen me
enough times today!"

	"No no no," Arby replied with an uplifted fin.  "We's gots rules,
y'see."  He took out a contract.  "Under section thirty noine
a'clause... mushin'-six, we does hereboie invoke the indubitability
transaction, sanctioning you to eight n' a half professional visits
per 'shroom, and we charge boie the hour."

	"I have you now!" a malevolent voice whispered triumphantly from the shadows.

	Twin daggers flew diagonally into Arby's flesh from opposing angles,
penetrating all the way through and perforating where his heart and
brain must have been.

	"Wa-hoo!" Terra rejoiced maniacally.

	Bruce, the evil White ArbyFish, hopped out of the shadows on top of a
Killer Instinct game.  "Victory!  Victory at last!"

	But then Arby vanished and in his place hovered a speckled mushroom,
still impaled with the two knives.

	The White ArbyFish's brow furrowed.  "What?!  The Kawakinoko no
Jutsu?!  But that's just a myth!  No REAL ArbyFish uses that!"

	"Oh, didn't expect THAT one, didja?"  Arby hopped out of the shadows
next to him.  Before Bruce could react, the Green ArbyFish took out a
slimy mushroom and slathered it across the White's furry cheeks.
"'Ere, 'ave sum mushin' cream."  He proceeded by taking out a
sharp-edged mushroom and shaving off Bruce's whiskers.

	Then he took out a sparking shroom and lit him on fire.  "There ya
go!  This one's free.  Next one'll cost ya a nickel!"

	Arby fluttered off.

	Mortified and burning, Bruce just sat there to ruminate for a while.
Then he said, "Bah!  At least I'll be able to torture a pair of those
sailor-humans while I'm here."

	As he looked around, however, it became apparent that Jupiter and
Chibimoon had made a swift exit.

	"Oh, for the hate of all things green!!!" Bruce swore.  When the
flames absolutely refused to subside, he pulled out a switchblade,
sliced a hole through the space-time continuum, and departed as well.

---

	It wasn't that Terra minded being carried off by Makoto.  Her legs,
after all, would probably have been pretty sore from all that running
she'd done earlier.  All the same, it was getting kind of awkward.

	"Okay, I think we're far enough away," Chibimoon noted.

	Jupiter didn't seem so certain.  "You think so?"

	"Y-y-yeah, plus, people are starting to stare," Terra added.  It
probably wasn't just due to their outfits, she imagined.  A big city
like Tokyo probably had all kinds of weirdos running around in
stranger things.  Plus, there were a few people who didn't seem to
even bat an eyelash back when she was forced to run around the streets
practically naked.  Mostly, they were drawing a bit too much unneeded
attention by having one teen carry another in this instance.

	Makoto coughed.  "You did see who that was back there, didn't you?"

	"Bruce, the horrifically evil ArbyFish?"  Terra considered that and
remembered the incident with the mark on her neck.  "I don't think
he'll attack us directly again.  We're kind of protected."

	"Yeah, that glowing mark on your neck," Jupiter replied, slowing down
and placing the smaller girl on her feet.  "But it's not glowing right
now."

	Then, the mark pulsed slightly and the slap mark disappeared from
Chibimoon's cheek before the 'shroom-imprint darkened again.

	"Hmm, the stinging's gone," the redhead noted.  "That's weird.  I was
sure I'd at least be needing some ice on that before the pain'd stop."

	"That thing," Jupiter indicated what was on Terra's neck, "healed you again."

	Terra felt her neck and cheek.  "It did?  Strange."

	"You said you got it from Arby?"

	Terra nodded slowly.  "Yeah, the first day we met.  And it's been
nothing but trouble since."

	"I don't know... but since Arby stopped Bruce again, after that mark
stopped him before... and it heals you... I just don't know."  The
tall girl shrugged.  "It's like he really wants to help you, in his
own way.  Maybe you should trust him.  What do you think?"

	Sailor Chibimoon shook her head.  "No, he's just tormented me and
made me run around all the time.  He steals my stuff and grows mold
and mushrooms on everything, and he never gives me any straight
answers."  Her shoulders slumped.  "He's a plague on my existence."

	"You're getting pretty negative again," Jupiter noted.  "Maybe I
should do something to help that."  She raised her hand into what
looked like a position to get very good leverage for a another
powerful slap.

	"No!"  Chibimoon grabbed Makoto's wrist.  "Ah, no, that won't be
necessary.  I'm fine now.  Really."  She glanced around.  "What were
we doing again, just before things went crazy?"

	"We were looking for a person carrying a fragment of the Magical
Silver Ginzuishou Crystal so we can stop the Dark Kingdom and save the
world."

	Terra snapped her fingers.  "Rainbow Crystals to stop the
Negamafoozleverse!  Of course!  I can't believe I missed it.  Follow
me."

---

	Jupiter and Chibimoon hurried down the street, quickly passing
several blocks while the redhead explained her reasoning, finishing
with a simple, "And that's where it is."

	"So," Makoto repeated to make sure she understood, "the crystal's
inside a large cat in the possession of a girl that lives in the third
house on the left side down this street?"

	Terra nodded.  "Yes, that's right.  I don't know how we'll get the
crystal out, but that's where we need to go."

	"How did you figure out where it was?" Jupiter inquired.

	"Pretty simple, really," Chibimoon replied with a wave of her hand.
"When you asked me, I remembered how the mark on my neck felt while we
headed to the mall.  It was pulling sort of towards this area, so
that's how I knew."

	"And the girl and the cat?"

	Terra shrugged.  "I dunno.  I thought you told me that."

	"N-n-no, I didn't."

	"Hmm?"  The Irish girl snapped her fingers.  "Oh, right.  That's
because a distant acquaintance of my dad's told me about a cat he
found once with a crystal stuck inside it that showed up on x-rays.
They tried to get it out, but they couldn't actually physically find
it so they chalked it up to an error in the x-ray.  Besides, the cat's
kind of weird and feisty, so it's pretty logical that'd it'd be a
reborn Negamafoozle."

	"Okay, but how did you know the specific address?"

	Chibimoon glared at her.  "Don't ask so many stupid questions.  I
know EXACTLY where I'm going."  She turned back just in time to slam
right into a lamppost.  "OWW!!!"  She staggered around in a circle for
a few seconds, grumbling what might have sounded like curses, except
that they consisted mainly of phrases like, "Fiddlesticks!" and "Golly
gosh darn it!"

	Jupiter couldn't help but smile at her companion's misfortune.  "You okay now?"

	Terra straightened up, her black eye fading and her chipped tooth
regenerating.  "Fine, fine."  She pointed to the large, spooky mansion
ahead of them.  "Let's keep going."

	They passed a squeaky black gate, traversed a cemetery, and ignored
the crows on their way to the titanic door.  Terra rang the doorbell
by pulling down on a noose.

	After half a minute, the entranceway slid open to reveal a
Frankensteinishly tall, pale man.  "You rang?" he inquired in a deep,
monstrous voice.

	"Yes," Chibimoon replied without missing a beat.  "I am Sailor
Chibimoon, admittedly sucky champion of justice.  I try to right
wrongs and triumph over evil and all that kind of junk, although I'm
not very good at it.  Good evening, Mister," she looked at his
nametag, "Lurch.  I'm selling these fine cloth leotards.  Can I
interest you in a subscription to Miniskirts Monthly?"

	Jupiter kicked her swiftly in the shin.

	"I mean," Chibimoon amended, her train of thought resetting, "I'm
looking for a girl a little shorter than I am who's got a great, big,
fat cat.  Does she live here?"

	Lurch shook his head.

	"Okay," Terra continued, "do you know anyone who lives nearby that
might match my description?"

	The giant shook his head again.

	"Hmmm.  What have we here?"  A pale yet creepily attractive woman
stepped into the entranceway.

	"Hi," Terra said, turning her attention toward the woman.  "We're
looking for magical rainbow crystals.  Do you know where a certain
girl is that has a really big blue cat?"

	"I might," the black-clad lady said thoughtfully.  The area around
her eyes seemed somewhat illuminated.  "Perhaps we could talk about it
over a midnight snack.  Won't you come in?  We so seldom have guests."

	"I would LOVE a midnight snack!  I don't think I've eaten anything all day."

	"Chibimoon, no.  It's creepy and they've got... BUGS all over the
place," Sailor Jupiter protested in a whisper.

	"Now now, let's remember our manners," Chibimoon chimed back.

	"Chibimoon... you, of all people, are hardly the one to be talking
about manners!"

	"Oh, pish-posh."  The redhead waved off the complaint.  "Come on,
Sailor Jupiter.  It'll be fun!"  She grabbed the brunette by the wrist
and dragged her inside.  Lurch shut the door after they entered.

	Meanwhile, the door of a neighboring house swung open and out walked
a fairly cute girl carrying a gigantic blue cat.  The cat had a tag
that read, "Rhett Butler."

	"You're so fussy," the girl said to her pet.  "Always wanting to go
out on midnight strolls.  Don't you know that there's creatures from
another dimension that stalk the night?"

	Rhett Butler shrugged.

	"It's true," the owner stated.  "On cold nights, just like this, and
on poorly lit streets, just like this one, monsters come out.  They're
all scaly and slimy and sprout tentacles all over the place.  Oh!  And
they like to go after sweet little girls, just like me.  'Mmmm!' a
monster would say.  'A sweet little girl for me to eat.'  But even
though I go out like this, every night, how come I've never seen any
of them?  Have you ever seen any of them on your romps around the
neighborhood?"

	Rhett calmly pointed with a claw towards Zoicite, who had just
appeared ahead of them in a shower of cherry blossoms.

	"GYAAAH!" the girl screamed, dropping Rhett and rushing towards the
youma general.  "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"  She dug her fingernails
into Zoicite's stomach.  "CHARGE!!!"  Then she proceeded to bite down
on his sleeve and gnaw on it.

	Zoicite smiled, adjusted his mask, and pulled the girl back by the
hair.  "Hah, you're definitely one of us.  Let me remind you of it."
He took out the black crystal he had used on other occasions and
pointed it at the girl, who became totally bathed in its dark light.

	But nothing happened, except the girl started gnawing on his wrist.
"GRRRF!  GRRRF!"

	"What?!"  The general let her go and pushed her onto the ground.
"You're not the one?  But the vision showed you!"

	"I am SO the one!" the cat owner retorted, and took out a
switchblade.  "YOU did this to me!" she cried while trembling and
waving her knife.  "All of you did!"

	Somebody opened up a window and shouted perfunctorily, "Ohara-san,
keep it down!  People are trying to sleep!"  The silhouette continued
muttering things like, "Every single night," and "Parents should know
better," before closing the window again.

	Zoicite avoided the slashes while considering his next move.  "Bah!"
he finally said, and departed in his trademarked flower vortex.

	Ohara dropped her switchblade and slid to her knees.  Her eyes
widened with shocking realization.  "It's happened again!  The voices
won't stop!"

	Soon afterward, Sailor Chibimoon walked out alongside Sailor Jupiter,
and commented, "Wow, that's the best food I've had in a long time.
Nice people, too."

	"Chibimoon," Jupiter said exasperatedly, "did you even look at the
plate?  You were wolfing down live spiders and creepy crawly things!"

	"Was I?"  Terra frowned, thought about it, and then shook her head.
"Nah, you must be mistaken.  I distinctly recall some very nice,
crunchy hors d'oeuvres.  Very spicy, yet juicy, and with a lot of
flavor."

	"Spicy?!"  Makoto was incredulous.  "The black widows must have been
biting your tongue all over!  It was horrible!"

	Chibimoon rolled her eyes.  "Oh, please, Sailor Jupiter.  If black
widows were biting my tongue, I'd have lost control over that
muthhle--"  She broke off and tried to straighten out her speech.
"--muthhle.  Da thhing dat, aww, thithh ith weird."  She cleared her
throat and the mark on her neck flashed momentarily.  "Anyway, the
muscle would have gotten all mushy and uncontrollable.  I'd be
completely unable to talk right within a very short while."

	"And nobody knew about the cat we're looking for."  Jupiter ran a
hand through her hair.  "Okay... whatever.  So, now that you've had
your snack, where do we go now, clueless leader?"

	"Clueless?  Never!  I'm sure we'll find another clue somewhere."

	"I get the idea you wouldn't know a clue if you tripped right over it
and it assaulted you with a knife."

	"Please!  I may be the suckiest magical girl in town, but I'm not
THAT incompetent."

	Then Terra tripped over Ohara, who screamed briefly, grabbed her
switchblade, and jammed the blunt end repeatedly into the redhead's
chest.

	Chibimoon squinted at the girl when she stopped the failed stabbing
attempts.  "Anne?  Anne Ohara?  You're alive?!"

	Ohara gasped.  "Terra?  Cousin Terra?  You're not dead?!"

	"You know her?" Jupiter inquired while making sure to keep her distance.

	"Yeah!" Terra replied with bright eyes.  "We were kids together back
in Ireland.  Her family's of an opposing religious faction, so she
pushed me in front of cars, kicked me off cliffs, and generally left
me for dead countless times.  A bit of a sociopath, really."  She
frowned.  "Come to think of it, Anne, I don't hardly like you very
much at all."

	"Hey!  How did you survive the cliff?" Ohara pressed.  "That was a
fifty meter fall!"

	"My dad saved me at the last minute."

	Anne scratched her head.  "Your dad's the big flying yellow cat thing
from outer space, right?"

	"What?!  No!" Terra spluttered.  "My dad's a swordsman.  Keeps
himself in shape, wears lots of black, has long silvery hair, uses an
eight-foot katana?  You know, the guy with the wing?"

	"Ohhh, him," Anne said with a nod.  "He's not a cat."

	"What is it with you and cats, anyway?"

	"I like cats better than people."

	"Well you don't like humans, I can tell that much," Terra deadpanned.
 She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and prepared to go her
merry way.  "Right, then.  I must be off.  Important miniskirted
soldier business and all."

	"Ahem!"  Jupiter cautiously approached.  "Before we forget, have you
seen a big, blue, fat cat near here anywhere?"

	Ohara blinked.  "You mean my Rhett Butler?  He's right here."  She
reached down and held up the rather portly feline.

	"Mreow," muttered Rhett.

	"That's it!" exclaimed Sailor Chibimoon, pointing at the cat's chest.
 "And I'm sure the crystal is in there!"

	"Crystal?" Anne asked.  "Is that what the monster from another
dimension was looking for?"

	"You saw a monster?"

	Anne nodded.

	"What happened?" Terra pressed.

	"Yeah," added Jupiter, "what did it look like?"

	The cat-loving Irish sociopath told them, and for some reason
mysteriously left out the part when she went berserk trying to attack
Zoicite.

	"Looks like they sure missed the boat on this one," Makoto said smugly.

	Terra nodded.  "Yup."  She reached out toward Rhett.  "Anne, I need
to borrow your cat for a little while."

	Anne drew back.  "No!  You wanna rip him open and take out his crystal heart!"

	"No, I don't want to rip him open.  I'm going to do something else.
Look, if you let me borrow him, I'll forgive you for trying to kill me
all those times."

	"Oooh, putting conditions on forgiveness?  Spoken like a true, evil,
double-talking protestant," Anne said.

	Chibimoon glared at her and tensed her arms.

...

	Terra was having a difficult time controlling herself.  She didn't
consider herself a violent person, but part of her really wanted to do
something unnecessarily gruesome to Anne, her childhood friend.

	No, she amended to herself, she wanted revenge and justice against
her hated childhood enemy.  No human being ought to be able to get
away with repeated attempted murder.  It just wasn't right.

	On the other hand, she thought, what am I doing, when helping with
the gradual devastation of the Negamafoozles?  They're sentient
beings.  Don't they have a right to live, too?

	Idiot, she chided herself, the Dark Kingdom's bent on wiping out
Earth and the human race, or at the very least enslaving them.  She'd
be a fool not to at least give a token effort to stand against those
villains.

	On yet another level, what if there were another side to the
Negamafoozle story?  Would that make her a murderer as well from their
perspective?  Huh?!  Would it?

	"I hate moral questions," Chibimoon muttered.  There was probably a
right and proper way to view things, but whatever it was, it kept just
barely slipping her mind.  She was going to have to make a decision,
and if her track record was anything to go by, it was going to be a
very stupid one.

	Terra thumped her head.  "Quiet, you!" she whispered to the negative
voice in her mind.

...

	"All right," Terra said to Anne.  "How about this.  Lend Sailor
Jupiter here your cat, and I'll let you brutally slaughter me, once
and for all."

	"Slaughter you brutally?"  Surprised, Anne went bright-eyed and
enthusiastic.  "Lots of blood and guts all over the place?  You'd let
me do that?!"

	Terra nodded.

	"Wa-hoo!"

	"Chibimoon," Jupiter whispered into her companion's ear, "just so you
know, that's a really stupid thing to do."

	"Nah, it's okay," Terra replied.  "Trust the ArbyFish, remember?"

	Jupiter winced at her words being thrown back at her out of context.
"I didn't quite mean it like THAT."  She nearly jumped as Rhett Butler
was pushed into her arms.

	"I'll be done in a minute," Anne beamed, brandishing her knife.  She
went back over to Terra and raised the blade.  "How to do it?  How
should I start?"

	Chibimoon swallowed heavily, lifted her chin, and spread her sailor
collar a little wider.  "Heart, or throat?"

	Jupiter shook her head, apparently undecided about whether to dive in
and save Sailor Chibimoon from her own stupidity or not.

	"I think I'll go for... HEART!" Anne finally declared, and began to
slash downward.

...

	Terra closed her eyes and braced for the strike.  Even if Arby's mark
healed her fast, it would still hurt for a while before she recovered.
 In movies, she recalled, people tended to die pretty quickly after
getting stabbed in the heart.  Maybe the mark wouldn't work at all.
Maybe she'd thrown away her life for nothing.

	Stupid, stupid, stupid! her mind screamed at her.

	But the blow never came.

	Terra opened her eyes and looked down to see Anne, the incorrigible
murderous sociopath, down on her knees and crying.

	"I can't do it!" Anne wept.

	Chibimoon felt a bit confused at her long-time acquaintance.  This
was totally at odds with what she remembered about her.  "Why not?"
she inquired.  "Aren't I your hated enemy anymore?"

	"Yeah, I guess you are," the girl said, "but... you never went to
church, right?  Maybe you were just born into the wrong family or
something.  I can't kill you for your beliefs if you never believed in
them!"

	Terra stared at her for a while before finally shrugging.  While it
wasn't the most tolerant statement she could have hoped for, it was a
step in the right direction.  For one thing, it meant she didn't have
to get stabbed.

	Anne looked up at her with tear-filled eyes and asked, "What do you
believe in, Terra?"

	Good question, thought Terra.  What do I believe in?  I can't even
think straight for more than a couple of minutes at a time.  "I don't
know, Anne.  I just don't know."  What with all that's been going on
lately, I not totally sure if the ground I'm standing on is real, much
less what religion I believe in.  "But as long as we're living in the
same town, can we agree not to try and kill each other?"  Not that
I've ever tried to kill you, Anne, no matter how much I might have
wanted to a few minutes ago.

...

	"Okay!" Anne agreed.  "I'll let you borrow Rhett for a little while,
and I won't kill you."

	Jupiter breathed a sigh of relief.

	"Great!" Chibimoon said, and turned toward her companion.  "I don't
know how to get it out, so maybe we should head back to the shrine for
some help.  Maybe Mars has an idea."

	"Mreow," Rhett commented apathetically.

	As Terra and Makoto were about to leave, Anne asked, "Terra, can I
have your address and phone number, just in case I change my mind?"

	"No!" Jupiter and Chibimoon replied curtly.

	Anne snapped her fingers in disappointment and headed back to her house.

	However, the two soldiers for love and justice hadn't made it half a
block before Zoicite appeared in front of them, flower petals and all.

	"It wasn't the girl," the general muttered, "it was the CAT!"

	Arby fluttered by him and commented, "Well a'course!  Gotta hide the
crystals in the cats.  Wot'd the animal protection society say if we
didn't?"

	Zoicite saw him pass and took a step back in shock.  "You!"

	"Indeed Oye is!  N' just in toime for lunch."  The flying seal-like
creature went over to Sailor Jupiter, who boggled at him when he
unhinged his jaw and swallowed Rhett Butler whole in one huge gulp.
"It's roight tasty, it is!" Arby complimented the nonexistent chef
while dabbing his mouth with a more-than-all-you-can-eat-cat-buffet
handkerchief.  "Lotsa color n' flava'."

	Chibimoon and Jupiter stared at him without quite knowing what to say.

	"I loikes the taste a' loive cat!" Arby explained.

	Zoicite's jaw dropped and he pointed at Arby.  "You... you just ate Bakeene!"

	"Well a'course!  Can't 'ave dangerous cats roamin' th' countrysoide.
Why, there'd be revoltin', lobbyin' n' legislatin' all over the place.
 Riots, y'see!  It'd cost millions ta clean up."

	Terra grabbed him and shook him frantically.  "ARBY!  SPIT IT OUT!
SPIT IT OUT!"

	"Ey!" Arby protested.  "Yew's makin' me lose m'lunch!"  He promptly
sneezed out a large, bewildered squirrel onto the ground.

	"AT LAST, I'M FREE!" the squirrel cried while taking several deep
gasping breaths and crawling weakly across the pavement.  "AFTER SEVEN
THOUSAND YEARS OF CAPTIVITY, I'M FREE!  FREE!"

	Arby chased after it.  "Ey, get back in there!"  He caught up with
the squirrel and gobbled it down before coming back and spitting out a
slime-coated Rhett.  "There ya go," he said to Terra, and then
fluttered off.

	"That was weird," commented Jupiter.

	"In-deed," agreed Terra with a nod as she gingerly picked up the
dazed feline.  However, as she did, she felt like something was
missing.  Knowing Arby's habit of making off with various articles of
her clothing, Terra checked to make sure nothing she currently wore
had been taken, but her sailor suit seemed pretty much intact, except
for the boots that had been snagged earlier.  "Jupiter, something's
wrong.  Can you feel it?"

	"Zoicite's still here," explained Jupiter hastily as she assumed a
ready combat stance.  Terra wasn't sure how, but she could tell from
how the brunette held herself that she probably knew Karate and at
least a couple of other forms of martial arts.  Judging from her
compact musculature, a combination of training and genetics had made
her body at least ten times as strong as any other girl she knew.
Truly, Makoto was superhuman, and a credit to her species, definitely
worth consideration for genetic inclusion.  "Chibimoon... I'm afraid
to ask.  Are you leering at me?"

	Terra shook herself out of the involuntary analysis and forced
herself to look Makoto in the eyes.  "N-no!  Why would I be leering at
you?  Pfft!  Pfft!  What a silly thing to say.  What do you take me
for?  My mind just went all weird for a second."

	"You were staring at my legs!"

	"I was not!"

	"Oohh yes you were."  Jupiter folded her arms.  "AND you liked what you saw!"

	"Hey, they're nice legs!  I wouldn't mind having a pair like 'em."

	"So you admit you were staring?"

	"No!"

	While the two Sailor Soldiers carried on their debate, Zoicite raised
the black crystal he held towards Rhett Butler, and activated the
magic, which engulfed the cat and changed it into a nine-foot-tall
striped feline monstrosity with really long arms and three-inch claws.
 "Yes, remember who you are, Bakeene!"

	After the transformation finished, the general was still left
puzzled.  "But where's the crystal?!"  He turned his attention to the
two squabbling sailor girls.

	"Am not!" Chibimoon protested.

	"Are too," Jupiter insisted.  "I know that kind of leer when I see
it, and believe me, I've seen it.  Mostly on boys, but, you know,
there is the odd girl out there, like you for example--"

	"You're just imagining things!"

	"WHERE IS THE CRYSTAL?!" Zoicite demanded.  Large crystal swords
appeared in each of his hands.

	Chibimoon looked over at him.  "Oh, hello.  Are you still here?"  She
took a moment to size him up as an opponent.  He was thin, not very
muscular, and had the same sort of pretty-boy look that some girls
tended to go crazy over.  Going strictly on muscle mass and potential,
she might be able to go right up and wrestle him to the ground.
However, he also had an enormous amount of magical power to buffer his
less-than-beefy body.  Additionally, he could create stone weaponry
and hurl energy blasts, the likes of which she had to be in a highly
compressed time zone to deflect.  However, the memories of his face
engulfed in one of his own energy blasts pretty much killed any
worries Terra had about fighting him.  Still, she couldn't keep her
eyes from probing for potential weak spots.

	"You dare leer at me, you miniskirted tart?!" Zoicite yelled in rage.

	"Hold on."  Chibimoon shook herself out of her reverie and raised an
eyebrow when her mind somehow failed to come up with a proper
reference for one of the words the general had called her.  "Did you
just call me a fruit-filled English pastry?  I'm Irish, I'll have you
know.  We happen to be very proud of our nationality!"

	In the same tone, Zoicite proceeded to offer several other nouns to
further describe his opinion of the redhead.

	"Oh, I see."  Terra blushed in embarrassment at the salty language
when she finally comprehended it.  "Well, there's no need to be rude."

	"Sailor Chibimoon," Zoicite spat, "I will make you SUFFER for what
you did to my pretty face."  He touched the opera mask he wore.

	"You call that face pretty?" taunted Chibimoon.

	"I don't know," chuckled Jupiter, "he looks kind of like a woman.
I'd have thought he'd be your type."

	"Quiet, you," Terra shot back.  "And leave the clever quips to Sailor
Mars, you muscle-brained Amazon."

	"What did you just call me?!" demanded Jupiter.

	"I called you an academically inferior peon!"

	"Watch your mouth, you crazy bipolar gaijin freak!"

	"That's it!"  Chibimoon took off her gloves and threw them to the
ground.  "Now it's on!"

	Zoicite visibly deflated from his vengeful indignation when the two
girls got into a full-blown catfight in front of him, complete with
hair-pulling, punching, kicking, nail-scratching, and slapping.  "Uh,
excuse me?"

	"You stay out of this!" Terra and Makoto yelled at him, and went back
to fighting.

	The Dark Kingdom general finally threw his arms up into the air and
said, "Forget it!  They're not worth getting revenge on.  Bakeene!"

	The giant cat monstrosity hissed its affirmative reply.

	"Wait until they're done, then kill them when they're weakened."
Zoicite looked at the crystal, which had a directing point of light on
the edge.  "I'm going to find the last Rainbow Crystal."

	Bakeene roared and lifted its large head up and down to indicate
understanding of its commands.

	He turned to follow the crystal's lead.  "Where could it have gone?
It was in Bakeene, but... could the ArbyFish have taken it?"  The
general levitated away.

	In the catfight, Chibimoon was getting creamed.  One final punch by
Jupiter successfully dislocated her jaw and sent her reeling hard up
against a wall before collapsing in a heap.  A potted plant fell and
broke on top of the Irish girl's head.

	"Aaaaaaooowwww," moaned Terra, who had a swollen lip and a black eye
on top of other kinds of pummeling-related injuries.  Her jawbone
cracked back into place.  "Aaargh!"

	Only marginally tussled, Sailor Jupiter looked down at her and said,
"I went easy on you, so don't mess with me, Chibimoon.  Get it?"

	"Got it," Terra whimpered.

	"Good.  I'm glad that's settled."  Makoto cracked her neck, tossed
her hair back, and glanced around.  "Now, where did those creeps from
the Dark Kingdom go?"

	Right about when, Bakeene rushed up and thrust its claws at Jupiter's
midsection.  She dodged the main thrust, but ended up with a scratch
on her arm as she rolled out of the way and prepared an attack.

	"SUPREME THUNDER!" intoned Sailor Jupiter as she crossed her hands
and fingers, crackling with electricity, before firing the huge
lightning bolt at the giant cat-thing.

	Bakeene didn't flinch as he took the shot head-on, pushed through it,
and cornered the fighter.  Jupiter frantically dodged and blocked what
strikes she could, but as strong as she was, the nine-foot-tall
enchanted monster was just that much tougher.

	"Chibimoon!" Jupiter called.  "I'll take back what I said if you can
figure out some way to help out here!"

	Bakeene grabbed the tall girl, his massive claws gripping her firmly
about the waist.  He drew back his other giant hand and prepared to
thrust at her face.

	In the next instant, a huge human fist nailed Bakeene in the head,
sending him skidding away from Jupiter.  A titanic man in gleaming
armor stepped between Makoto and the beast, hollering, "I AM THE HUGE,
HULKING CELTIC KNIGHT IN INCH-THICK SHINING ARMOR, AND I'M GONNA GET
MEDIEVAL ON YOUR SORRY CARCASS!"

	Sailor Jupiter looked over at Chibimoon, who had both her hands
raised and her concentration focused squarely on the huge ogre-man
before her.

	The Huge, Hulking Celtic Knight in Inch-Thick Shining Armor drew his
Six-Foot-Long Claymore and slashed downward at Bakeene.

	Bakeene leapt skyward out of the way of the gigantic steel blade,
which came downwards and fragmented the pavement.  The large cat
clawed sideways at him, but he reached up and snatched Bakeene out of
the air by the neck, twisted him around, and slammed the creature's
skull hard into the ground.

	Twitching and with its tongue hanging out, the rest of Bakeene's body
fell hard to the broken asphalt, where he didn't try to get back up
again.

	The H.H.C.K.I.I.T.S.A. sheathed his S.F.L.C., wiped the sweat off his
brow, waved at Jupiter, and vanished in a smattering of blue
sparklies.

	Pale and shaking, Chibimoon let her arms fall into her lap.

	"Did you just do that?" Jupiter whispered in disbelief, pointing at
Bakeene and where the giant had stood.

	Terra slowly nodded, her breathing fast and shallow.

	"Thanks.  Thanks a lot.  That was incredible!  You really saved me there."

	The Irish girl said nothing.

	Makoto walked over to where her friend sat and offered her a hand up,
but Terra didn't take it.  "Not still mad at me, are you?" Jupiter
asked softly.  "I'm sorry, it's a bad habit from all the schools I
kept getting kicked out of before I came here.  I overreacted again.
Now c'mon, let's go find that crystal."

	Chibimoon shook her head.  "It's... not that."

	Jupiter looked at the redhead's haggard appearance and how she
cradled her body as if she were freezing to death.  "Holy cow!  You
must have used up a TON of power on that gigantic thing!"

	"I think I'm gonna throw up," Chibimoon breathed, and turned over.
She spasmed a bit, but nothing came out.  "Go, leave me.  Save
yourself."

	"But I can't leave you here!  Zoicite's after the crystal.  Besides,
that thing might wake back up."

	"Arby took it," Terra whispered.  "The Nega...fah-foozles are going after him.

	Jupiter's eyes went wide.  "Oh, that's right."  She let out a short
gruff laugh.  "The Dark Kingdom versus Arby.  Heh, I really don't know
who to feel sorry for."

	Terra cocked an eyebrow at her.  "You don't?" she asked darkly.
"Well I sure do."

^_^;;

	Tracking the Rainbow Crystal through the tiny points of light in the
dark gem, Zoicite finally zeroed in on the location of his target.

	"Is yew a member of the ignobility?" Arby said.  He stood up tall
under a lamppost, wearing a belted green fedora that sat about the top
of his furry head.  "So we meets again.  It iz down ta yew, n' it iz
down ta me."

	"So you stole the crystal, did you?" Zoicite inquired, stroking his chin.

	"In-deed!"  Arby spat out the violet gem and held it up so the
general could see it in the light before swallowing it again.  "N' if
ya wants it back, ya's gots ta pay!"  He tweaked his hat a bit to
emphasize the last word.

	"Oh, really now?"  The third general narrowed his eyes at the
creature.  The ArbyFish never looked at all threatening, but there was
something unnerving about the mutant's smile.  The white one, Bruce,
was incredibly dangerous--more dangerous, in his opinion, than a
dimension full of demons; at least with demons you knew where you
stood--but the green one seemed almost harmless.  Rather mischievous,
yes, but nothing he shouldn't be able to handle.  "What would I have
to pay?"

	Arby snapped a flipper with the same noise as if it had been a pair
of fingers.  A mushroom hopped out of the darkness, squelching as it
went, and presented Zoicite with a large parchment scroll.  "'Ere's me
list a' demands."

	Zoicite took the parchment and carefully unfurled it while the
'shroom hopped off.  The lettering was very immaculate--complete with
serifs and an elegant signature at the bottom.  "Number one, a lock of
Queen Beryl's hair?  What do you want that for?"

	"Oh, experiments n' such," Arby noted, casually dismissing the
inquiry with a wave of a flipper.

	"I see.  Number two, the switchblade of a White ArbyFish?"

	"They comes standard wit ev'ry purchase," Arby explained.  "Shouldn't
be too hard ta foind."

	"Four, the eyeteeth of a giant badger?"

	"A'course!"

	"Five, you want a million British pounds?"

	"Preferably a' th' midsection n' thoighs, conveniently wrapped in
large paper sacks."

	Zoicite decided to ignore the comment and kept going down the list.
"Eh!?  Six, for me to hop up and down on one leg while flapping my
arms and clucking like a chicken?!"

	Arby's grin deepened.  "It's Ritualistic!"

	Reality, slowed down by the insanity field generated by the ArbyFish,
finally caught up with the general.  "What?!  No.  No!  You won't
confuse me that easily, mutant thing!"

	Arby, sans fedora, appeared on Zoicite's shoulder.  "Oh, well Oye
just did, y'see.  Wouldn't be proppa' if Oye didn't."

	Zoicite acted quickly and grabbed the ArbyFish and held him tightly,
then brought his black crystal forward and activated its crystal
extraction capabilities.  "I've got you now!"

	With a mighty chomp, Arby swallowed the dark crystal.  He smacked his
mouth and declared, "Oye now has the foinal component ta create the
first Peter Poiper Picked a Peck a' Pickled Pepper Polygonal Pushing
'Shrooms!"

	"WHY YOU--!!"  Zoicite pushed his fingers down Arby's mouth and
probed around, eventually withdrawing a nice, shiny golf ball.

	"Ey, that's me lucky golf ball," Arby said indignantly.

	"What?!"  The general tossed the ball behind him, then forced his
hand down further and wrenched out a full set of golf clubs.

	"Oh, dunno 'ow those got in there," the ArbyFish commented at the
extraction.  Next, he choked out a pair of bowling shoes and loud
pants.  "Ehh, Oye can explain those!"

	In a state of total confusion, Zoicite proceeded to remove a pantless
golfer and a shoeless bowler from the depths of Arby's
dimensionally-transcendent stomach.

	"They wos lookin' at me funny!" Arby explained.

	Both slime-coated men moaned and crawled off.

	"GIVE ME THE CRYSTAL, YOU MUTANT FREAK!" Zoicite yelled at the
creature in his grasp.

	Arby slipped out of his hand and perched on his arm.  "Nope!  It's moine now."

	Zoicite repeatedly tried to grab him again, but he fluttered away
from each swipe only to land on his arm again.  Finally, he started
shaking his arm frantically in an effort to get him off.

	Suddenly, there were two duplicate Arbys stuck to his arm, a
centimeter apart from each other.

	"G'day!"
	"G'day!"

	"What the--?!"  The Dark Kingdom General shook his arm all the more
fiercely, and then there were three Arbys, who each nodded in turn
while greeting him.

	"G'day!"
	"G'day!"
	"G'day!"

	Then there were four.

	"G'day!"
	"G'day!"
	"G'day!"
	"G'day!"

	Finally, Zoicite went to his knees and screamed out in frustration.
He looked back down at the now-single creature, who smiled at him and
stated, "Oye've taken root!"

	Indeed, the general felt something very unpleasant and painful
digging into his arm.  Screaming again, he grabbed Arby by the
midsection and ripped him out, tearing bits of blackened,
chemically-changed flesh in the process.

	"Ey," Arby complained, again slipping Zoicite's grasp, "don't pick an
ArbyFish once we'z taken root!"

	Zoicite fired a series of energy blasts at him, which he easily
dodged, and once caught with a baseball catcher's mitt.

	"Bawl four, now ya's gots ta walk home!"  Arby clapped his flippers
together and what looked like an electrical field flashed out over the
area, zapping Zoicite in particular rather fiercely before it
dissipated.

	"ARGH!"  Zoicite once again tried to blast him, but nothing came out.
He tried some of his other powers, but nothing worked.  He fell to his
knees, writing in pain from the energy burst and the biological damage
to his arm.  "How can this be?!"

	"Ya can't beat an ArbyFish," Arby quoted casually, as if it were one
of the fundamental laws governing the universe.  "Wouldn't be proper
if ya did."  He hopped forward towards the disabled general.  "Roight!
 Yew's MOINE now.  Ya can'ts escape."

	A large, speckled mushroom started to grow out of Zoicite's injured
arm.  "GYAH!" he yelled in fright, then ripped it out and threw it
past Arby.

	"Ey, don't waste those," Arby said, fluttering back to catch the
discarded 'shroom.  "They's very rare, y'see."

	Suddenly, Kunzite appeared next to Zoicite, with an unconscious
Bakeene slumped over one of his shoulders.  "Zoicite," he said,
"where's the crystal?"

	Trembling in utter terror, the Third General pointed at Arby, who had
his same creepily pleasant grin and had resumed hopping towards them.

	"We have to get that crystal," Kunzite insisted.  "Queen Beryl NEEDS it!"

	"No, Kunzite!" Zoicite screamed.  "We have to get out of here, RIGHT NOW!!!"

	"Why?  It's just a little Green ArbyFish.  It can't be anywhere near
as dangerous as Bruce."

	Grinning wider still, Arby hopped one more pace closer, causing
Zoicite to retreat backwards and scream louder.  The creature seemed
to derive some sort of fascinated satisfaction from the action,
hopping back a couple of steps before going forward again as if to
gauge the scream level he caused.  Then the 'Fish stood on his head
while moving back and forth, which also seemed to change the pitch of
the scream.

	"Have you gone mad, Zoicite?"  Kunzite asked calmly, but looking at
the blond general's tear-filled pleading eyes seemed to change his
mind.  "Fine, let's go, but you'll owe me an explanation later."

	Zoicite grabbed onto the Fourth General's legs and yelled, "GO, GO,
GO-OOOOOOOOOO!!!"

	Kunzite, Bakeene, and Zoicite vanished from sight through a portal of darkness.

	Arby nodded, quite pleased with his efforts, and said, "Roight!  Moie
work 'ere is done."  He looked over to see Sailor Jupiter helping
Sailor Chibimoon limp slowly along.  He then fluttered up to the
redhead, pulled out the Violet Rainbow Crystal, stuffed it down the
front of her outfit, patted it, tore off a length of pink ribbon, and
said, "There ya go!  Got'cha co-pay n' Oye'll put the rest on ya
bill."  Finally, he flew off towards parts unknown.

...

	Rather bewildered by Arby's sudden reappearance, both girls stared
after him as he left.  Makoto still had a few scratches from her
battle with Bakeene, but Chibimoon somehow hadn't even healed from the
catfight.

	Terra reached into her marginally damaged outfit and pulled out the
Violet Rainbow Crystal.  "This is it!  He just gave us a Rainbow
Crystal!"

	"What do you know," commented Jupiter, "he finally came through for us."

	The weakened girl fingered the ruined ribbon near her transformation
brooch.  "But what is it with him and my clothes, anyway?"

	"Who cares?  He got us the crystal."

	Chibimoon gave a slow nod, clutching her prize close to her heart.
"Yeah, I guess you're right.  Let's hurry back to the shrine.  I hope
the others had an easier time than we did.  I'd hate to think everyone
else had to go through all that to get one of these."

---End of Chapter 12

And now it's time for... MIND YOUR MANNERS!!! with Sailor Nuke.

(Arby claps his flippers together, disabling Zoicite's powers)

Sailor Nuke:  Today, we learned that you always go into a fight with
overwhelming force!

(The H.H.C.K.I.I.T.S.A. slams his S.F.L.C. into the ground, throwing
pavement chunks everywhere.)

Sailor Nuke:  Never get caught off-guard.  Always be ready to pile on
the smackdown!

(Terra, pummeled and seated against a wall, holds up her hands and
concentrates to summon the ogrish knight.)

Sailor Kawaii:  But remember, everyone, that if you want to catch
people by surprise, you should act cute and helpless.  That way, they
won't think of you as a threat until it's too late. (wink)

(Terra is crying pitifully in the arcade. Makoto tries to comfort her.)

Sailor Kawaii:  Even with your friends, don't be afraid to get a
little emotional.  They can help cheer you up.  Sailor Kawaii says.
Tee-hee!

(Sailor Jupiter slaps Chibimoon with all her might.)

Sailor Nuke:  Yeah!  Or they can beat the tar out of you so you can
stop your dang whining!  Sailor Nuke sez.  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!


Roight.  There ya go, then! ^_^  (hops off)

-- 
Benjamin A Oliver
benjamin.a.oliver at gmail.com

Technical Writer / Translator
M3 Engineering & Technology

Master of Science in Management Information Systems
Eller College of Management
University of Arizona

Writings: Fan Fiction
http://boliver.florestica.com/

Webcomic: Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! The Early Years
http://nettg.com