[FFML] [FanFic][SM][NETTG] Terra in Tokyo Ch. 2 (of 27)

[Benjamin A. Oliver]

On Fri, Apr 5, 2013 at 12:00 PM,  <ffml-request at chez-vrolet.net> wrote:

Dot wrote:
> <snip>
>
> My only comment so far is this: why repeat so much of the plot content of the actual series? People familiar with Sailor Moon already know what's going on, and people who aren't probably are going to skip this story anyway because of said lack of familiarity (or interest).
>

A very valid point.   I do run the risk of interested people getting
bored while not having anything that interesting for those not
familiar.  While reading back through parts 1 and 2 I admit I'm not
always the most excited about them.  I am, however, loving some of the
material in the chapters after the first couple establishing ones.

That's a very good takeaway for me: While buildup and establishment is
all well and good, a story does need "hooks" for a reader early on.

> All you would need to do is go over enough of the Original Canon in broad strokes (or, if you want to be super bold, just start with the transformation sequence) and then start throwing the plot entirely off the rails.  Destiny can take a hike when it comes to Super Ultra Kawaii Parody Sues.
>

I agree.  A couple chapters later, I hit the fast-forward button
pretty hard since my goal from the start was to finish the story (at
the cost of all else at times ^_~).

...

One thing I've struggled with is "show" vs. "tell".  Sometimes I show
too much, slowing down the action, sometimes I tell too much, leaving
out juicy detail that a reader might really like to see.

In this case, I'd say these first chapters (1-3) are an anchor to set
up the rest of the continuity.  What's the fun of throwing Destiny off
its rails if it was never on the rails to begin with?

Your point does stand: those well-versed in Sailor Moon already know
about these intro bits.  It had better diverge pretty sharply very
soon or they will indeed get bored.  I hope the followup chapters
deliver on making the whole thing explode.  Wouldn't be proper if we
didn't.

Perhaps some of the initial doldrums could have been eased by a
"trailer" issued prior to the story itself to show that, "Yes, there
are interesting bits."  Alternatively, the intro bits could be made
more interesting.

Thanks for the comments!

-- 
Benjamin A Oliver
benjamin.a.oliver at gmail.com

Technical Writer / Translator
M3 Engineering & Technology

Master of Science in Management Information Systems
Eller College of Management
University of Arizona

Writings: Fan Fiction
http://boliver.florestica.com/

Webcomic: Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! The Early Years
http://nettg.com