[FFML] [Naruto] Dead Garden - Chapter Eight: The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox

[Aaron Nowack]

On 11/13/2012 10:14 PM, Jared Waddell wrote:
> Okay, I'm all caught up, and I'm interested.
> 
> My only complaint in this chapter is Tetsu's motivation is nearly
> nonexistent. I do realize that between the secrecy of ninja and the
> temporary teamwork, there wasn't much space to supply motivation
> beyond a few lines of dialogue. Perhaps tipping off the reader to the
> motivations of the Cloud team just before their ambush of Team
> seven?

I tried a couple of times to work in a Kakashi PoV scene prior to the
ambush so we could get a more perceptive look at the Cloud team, but for
various reasons I couldn't make it work, so I decided to make the best
of it and let the ambush be relatively out-of-nowhere since our main
characters are pretty much caught completely surprise, then have Kakashi
fill in his history with Tetsu after the fact.

That said, I'll freely admit that Tetsu is more of a plot device than a
fully fleshed out character; if this was Kakashi's story he'd need a lot
more focus, but in Sakura's story his reasons aren't really important.

> Anyway, otherwise good. I am looking forward to more.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and thanks for taking the time to C&C.

> p.s. Chapter Nine: Tails... I'm going to have to use that one
> sometime. Thanks!  ^_^

:)

	Aaron Nowack