[FFML] [Naruto] Dead Garden - Chapter Five: Missions

[skychan]

I think that it is very refreshing to see a reason for why first
missions would go astray, and to see that the merchant prince is
willing to set people to sabotaging land routes as well to make sure
that his control over the transit lanes gets full points.

You get more points for involving Sakura's dad, even more for his
being a ninja, and the most I can imagine for making him actually
ACTIVE as a ninja.  Usually even if a parent is ninja they are
retired.  This is far greater.

I'm sorry I don't really have any useful C&C for you, but it seems to
be fairly well put together already.  You are doing a very good job of
taking into account cannon elements and slipping them into the story
without explicitly stating why things turn out that way, such as
Kabuto getting in a 'lucky' strike that incidently prevents a
situation from arising that may require him to show off more than he
wants of his skills.

Keep up the good work and those little details.