[FFML] [Haruhi] Sympathy -- Chapter 5

[Brian Randall]

#     Sympathy

##     A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

###     Chapter Five -- Phenomenon

     Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The
Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa.  No
disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own
the characters or settings involved.  I'm merely dabbling with another set
of paints.

     ---------------------------------

     Unless I'm being chased down by Yanagimoto and Sakanaka, I can still
run off between classes, or for lunch, and not be bothered.  Kyon was quiet
in class today, probably still upset by how we left off yesterday.  I can't
say I'm at all happy about it, either -- but the important part stuck with
me.

     Koizumi seemed to care a lot more about Kyon than his own club
president, and I don't think a common bond of playing the same video games
quite explains things.  Skipping the cafeteria, I run to his classroom and
drag Koizumi aside, just like I did the first day I met him.

     He lets me haul him out of class, and once we're alone in the same
bushes, I cut to the chase, not letting him say anything before I begin:
"You've got something to tell me--  Something involving Kyon.  Am I right?"

     He purses his lips and gives me a much more thoughtful look than his
typical disarming, somewhat goofy smile.  It's a strange shift, but less
jarring than when Mikuru drops her moe-moe mask.  "A question for a
question -- you've heard something involving him from someone else?"

     I frown, not entirely liking the fact that he doesn't just spit it out
or confess.  I nod cautiously, though -- this feels better than my talk
with Yuki or Mikuru!

     "So--  Say what you know, before I say anything in return," I
challenge.  "And if you're going to feed me another stupid story that I
won't buy without proof, save your breath!"

     "Proof?" he returns, raising his eyebrows.  "Well--  Wait a moment,
then."  Then he turns to his phone as though I weren't there, and punches
some buttons quickly.  I try to read the text he's typing up, but he angles
the screen so I can't read it before hitting 'send' and pocketing the
device.

     "So....  You _can_ prove things?" I can't help but ask hopefully.

     "With permission, perhaps," he allows.  "I will find out and inform
you after our club duties end.  It seems only fair that you should get a
chance to see it, considering how rarely it appears these days.  However, I
must ask you to say nothing of this to Kyon-kun beforehand."

     "...what?" I have to ask, not following this at all.  Still, he says
there's proof involved!  For proof, I'll put up with this!  Hell, even if
it's a sham, at least I'll be able to point at whatever he's calling
'proof' and laugh.  And all I need to do is not talk to Kyon about it?

     So for that reason, I can't be that put off when Kyon's voice is a
little more sour than usual, and he grumbles, "You seem excited today."

     I almost tell him why, but catch myself.  "That's because I'm working
hard for our club," I reply, which silences him, even if it doesn't
actually seem to reassure him.  I can't believe he's still buying into
Mikuru's act....

     ***

     After a relatively boring day of club -- Kyon was too distracted to
play board games with Koizumi-kun, just mumbling and doing his homework --
I accost Koizumi-kun on the way out the door.  "Oh, I wanted to talk to you
about your tardiness for our assignment this weekend," I say, as he and
Kyon are out the door.

     Kyon pauses, and something seems to go through his expression when he
glances back at us.  He quickly seems to dismiss it, shaking his head and
walking away.  Mikuru goes to the costume rack and takes her uniform down,
then gives Koizumi-kun an expectant look.

     Well -- _I'm_ not going to tell him to accommodate her, not as
annoying as she is to me.

     Yuki closes her book in her seat and watches us curiously.

     Sighing, Koizumi-kun gives a small shake of his head and tells me,
"I'll pick you up for a demonstration at your place in about forty
minutes."  He glances at Yuki and Mikuru, then shrugs.  "Be ready," he
adds, giving me the impression that the notice was more for _their_ benefit
than _mine_.

     Yuki's expression doesn't change, and Mikuru looks uninterested,
though.

     I'm not sure what to make of that.  That they're not all on the same
page?  I'm not sure....  If Mikuru's supposed to be a time traveler, and
Yuki's supposed to be an alien ... then what about Koizumi-kun?  Maybe a
youkai?  Or a cyborg?

     I can't come up with any especially good guesses before getting home.
 My mom isn't there yet, so I have plenty of time to switch out to casual
clothing.  A skirt with pockets, and a purse with everything I think I
could need in it.  Most important is my phone, which has a GPS, and a
camera, in case there's anything worthwhile to see.

     Koizumi comes by not long after I finish changing.  It's maybe a
_little_ strange, now that I think about it, that he already knows where I
live.  That doesn't really prove he's something paranormal; anyone who put
enough effort into it could find their way to a student directory.  I do
pause for a second to think about what we must look like to the house
across the street, though.

     Probably, we look like highschool students on a date.  And even _more_
likely, that nosy old woman who lives there will tell my mom about it.

     He arrived in a cab, at least, so that's better than running to the
train station.  "Well?" I prompt Koizumi, glancing at the older gentleman
who's driving, once the doors are shut and we start rolling into motion.

     He starts off by explaining that something happened to him -- and a
small number of other people -- across the world around three years ago.
 The same time as the 'data spike' and 'temporal anomaly.'  He also
explains Kyon's ability in _slightly_ more detail.  The part that catches
me the most is where he says he thought at one point he might be going
crazy; I've got to have a little sympathy for that, because I've felt
similar things recently!

     He's easier to talk to about it, but to cut a very, very long
conversation into a more reasonable-length one, his stance is basically a
rehash of the same bizarre Kyon-centric solipsism as the others.  This is
the longest car ride I've ever been on, and if the material were any less
interesting, I'd have fallen asleep!  He's a bit clearer about it, and also
throws in his 'type.'  Evidently Koizumi's an _esper_, able to sense Kyon's
unrest.

     As an added bonus, he's _also_ a member of a shadowy secret
organization, that's devoted to keeping Kyon calm!  I pay attention when he
says that, because it's the most interesting part of what's otherwise a
very dull car ride.

     "Kyon-kun has a relatively stable disposition," Koizumi-kun explains.
 "He was more ... energetic and enthusiastic in earlier years -- around the
middle of his last year of middle school, he calmed down greatly, thanks to
a particularly influential classmate."

     That sounds so cliche....

     Koizumi-kun doesn't respond to my expression, continuing, "While it's
very rare that Kyon-kun truly becomes troubled, we take note when it
happens.

     "Effectively, the stress between his subconscious will and his
conscious understanding of a situation occasionally conflict.  It's rare --
but you can imagine, I'm sure -- the difference between rationally knowing
a thing, and feeling that it should be otherwise simultaneously."

     "Well, yeah," I agree.  I don't see anything remotely like this being
_proof_, but as an idea, I can agree with it.  "You're saying that Kyon's
super power is almost always dormant?"

     "Almost," he agrees.  "On those occasions that Kyon-kun is pushed far
enough ... those in my organization who were gifted with powers by him join
together."  The cab stops abruptly, and I realize that I have no clue where
we are.  Koizumi steps out of the car without hesitation, and I crawl after
him, popping out the same door before he can shut it.

     He shrugs slightly, then reaches out to me.  "Take my hand?" he
suggests.

     I grab it, warning him, "This _doesn't_ mean we're dating -- and if
that's all this is a ploy for...."  I let the threat dangle at that.

     He chuckles dryly and says, "You may find it more comfortable if you
close your eyes."

     Yeah -- like the _rest_ of this wasn't suspicious enough?  I keep my
eyes peeled -- on _him -- as he leads me across the crosswalk.  Like I
pushed into a pool of water, I feel something strange envelop the hand that
Koizumi's holding; it sweeps across me and then hits my face -- and my eyes
suddenly fill with a kaleidoscope of strange shapes, most of them in shades
of electric, glowing blue-white.

     ***

     When I can make sense of things again, I'm laying on my back on the
street, Koizumi-kun's hand free of mine as he crouches above me and looks
down warily.  "I warned you," he reproves mildly, standing up and surveying
his surroundings.

     I'm on my feet like a shot after that, though when I stumble, he
catches my arm, making a 'tsk'ing noise.

     "Where the hell are we?" I can't help but shout.  The sky above us is
gray, the building's around us are gray, the sky overhead--  hell, except
for us and our clothes, _everything_ is gray!

     "This is the closed space that's generated as a side-effect of his
restless unease," Koizumi-kun explains, shaking his head slightly.  "As I
just explained.  Here, this way."

     I ignore him and immediately try the first thing I can think of --
walking back out.  The edge of the space is like some gelatinous barrier
that pushes back, but is too firm for me to get through.  It doesn't matter
that I'm stuck here, though.  Actually, I'd be more worried if I managed to
go back and never found this place again!

     What _matters_ is that I _found_ it, and it's _real_!

     I turn back to Koizumi-kun, and can't stop from grinning.  "You're an
_esper_," I declare, re-evaluating things.

     "That's right," he agrees, his appearance going from 'mildly annoyed'
to 'amused.'

     "And this means--  This means that Yuki's really an alien, not some
crazy prankster?"

     "We believe that to be the case."

     "And Mikuru's a time-traveler?  Not some--  She--  She's _really_ a
time traveler?"

     "As we understand things, yes."

     "Okay!" I exclaim, turning around and fixing him with a sharp look,
locking gazes.

     He raises an eyebrow and looks at me curiously.

     "Go out with me," I demand.

     He snorts, rolling his eyes.  "No," he returns instantly, pulling his
hand back.

     Hey!  I'm about to press further when we're _both_ distracted by a
distant, muffled explosion.  I turn to look, and....

     How distracted was I to miss something _that_ obvious?  There's a
massive semi-transparent glowing blue figure, easily twenty stories tall!
 It's just standing to one side, probably a kilometer away, slowly
straightening up from studying the building it had just smashed.

     He shakes his head at my indignation and says, "I'm hardly done with
my proof, for one.  I'm afraid my colleagues need me, so ... please enjoy
your view of this rare event!"

     He takes another step back and is wreathed in an aura of red flame--
 In a flash it's become a red orb, with him vanished inside of it.  He
streaks skyward, and is joined by a group of others.  I watch in surprise
as they engage the giant, which only belatedly reacts to defend itself.

     This is the most epic and surreal fight scene I've ever seen!  It
blows away any _movie_, that's for sure!  I'd cheer for Koizumi-kun, but I
can't even tell which one he _is_!  The spheres -- looking like red dots at
such a distance -- cut the giant apart, piece by piece.  The severed pieces
fall toward the ground and dissolve into slime or some liquid--  It
splashes down out of my sight, but it was _amazing_!

     I can't speak for the others, because they weren't willing to give me
proof.  But that doesn't matter anymore, because Koizumi-kun did!  This is
the start of something amazing -- with him at my side, there's no _end_ to
the amazing adventures we could have!  Checking out these closed spaces,
using his powers to solve mysteries....

     Plus, how many other people have been able to be this close to an
esper -- and known it?  That thought in mind, I grab Koizumi-kun's nearest
hand and hold it tightly.

     One of the red spheres zips to my side, the light fading to reveal
Koizumi-kun, looking no worse for wear.  On the small chance that he
forgot, I welcome him back with, "Go out with me!"

     "No," he returns again, looking amused.  "That's not going to happen.
 You understand that my goal is stabilizing Kyon-kun, don't you?  Beyond
that--  The others have as much as spelled it out to you, based on your
complaints.  If Kyon-kun has _chosen_ you, wouldn't I be foolish to get in
the way of that?  We're working toward his greater _stability_, not a
desire to unbalance him.

     "As things stand, he's content, and because of that, seldom employs
his powers.  I don't like to think of the world should he come to believe
it's a dismal, unhappy place."

     To punctuate that remark, and perfectly capturing my feelings for the
moment it happens, the sky overhead shatters into a billion fragments of
light, all of them noisily thundering down like some form of psychic snow.
 I watch in stupefied silence until they're all gone, realizing only at the
end that I've forgotten to take a picture with the camera I stuffed into my
purse.

     _Damn_.  We're back in the real world!

     "I believe my reasons have been clear enough," he adds.  "To say
nothing of the fact that outside of Kyon-kun, we don't exactly have common
interests.  You're interested only because I have powers, not because of
who I am.  Really, you hardly even know me -- especially compared to how
well you should know Kyon-kun, by this point."

     The ride back home is silent.

     Getting home isn't any problem in itself, outside of dealing with my
mother.  "Takahashi-san from across the street called me today.  I should
say that I'm glad to see you're back to dating boys again," she says,
sounding less than fully convinced.

     ...this is just what I _don't_ need right now.

     "I gave it a shot," I grumble, which is the same thing I realize I
said about Yuki.  Well--  She wouldn't believe me if I were to tell her the
full truth, so I offer a cut-down, but still honest, explanation: "I really
tried, but he's more interested in a boy we both go to school with."

     "W-what?  Oh, Haruhi...."

     She trails off as I storm into my room.  Really, the sad part is,
that's the first time in a long time that my mother's actually looked
sympathetic to my dating situation.

     ***

     I hear that some girls skip dinner because they're worried about their
figures.  I think that's stupid -- though I can't judge them for skipping
dinner entirely.  I miss my own, just holing up in my room and shutting out
the outside world.

     So.  Koizumi-kun is an esper.  And shot me down.

     I can't really say that he's wrong when he claims I was more
interested in him as an esper than anything else.  He's right that I don't
really know him.  He's just not that interesting a guy--  I wanted amazing
and cool, not to meet some slacker with powers he uses only when he has to.

     I guess I mostly wanted to keep him from running away, not _really_ to
'date' him.  Then again, isn't the key to that Kyon, not Koizumi-kun?

     Absolutely, he's at the middle of everything.  Yuki for 'data,' Mikuru
for 'the timestream,' and now Koizumi-kun for ... I'm not sure.  The
stability of the world?

     If I wanted amazing and cool, wouldn't Kyon be it?  Except ... Kyon
doesn't know he's got amazing powers.  Hell, even though I can believe
Koizumi-kun's an esper, and the others are an alien and a time traveler, I
have yet to see any proof of Kyon's ability.  Koizumi-kun _claimed_ that
Kyon had made the closed space, but how do I know that?

     I don't know.  There's no point to thinking of Kyon as someone with
amazing powers if he doesn't know about them.  I could try telling him.
 Still, at this point aliens, time travelers, and espers have all decided
not to.

     Why not?  Mikuru made it sound like they weren't very good friends --
it'd be something for them to disagree and yet all cooperate to keep Kyon
in the dark.

     Okay.  What do they want with Kyon, then?

     For Koizumi-kun, it's simple.  Keep Kyon calm enough that he doesn't
destroy the world.

     For Mikuru....  I don't like where this goes.  Perfect moe-moe act?
 Actually coldly calculating?  And then she says I make her job easy?
 Obviously ... she's trying to manipulate Kyon, for some reason.

     Well--  Putting those two together, Kyon really _was_ upset.  Mikuru's
act got to him so badly that....

     I mean.  If I _do_ believe that Kyon is somehow the one responsible
for that strange space that Koizumi-kun showed me, then....  It's hard to
accept that the awesome thing that Koizumi-kun showed me may have been _my_
fault.

     That thought keeps me up very, very late.

     ***

     "Bad dreams again?" Kyon asks the next morning, seemingly calmed once
more.  He's relaxed, but slightly wary, instead of yesterday's grumbling
uncomfortable avoidance of meeting my gaze.

     "Hardly slept at all," I mumble, grimacing.  At least this time, I did
my homework, so I don't need to worry about _that_.

     He nods at that, and we both stare out the window in silence.
 Distantly, some third year girl and boy are taking down the tennis
netting.  As we watch, he says or does something he shouldn't -- she shoves
him and turns, running away, leaving him to handle the netting himself.

     Kyon sighs softly, resting one elbow on his desk, and his chin on the
palm of that arm.

     He doesn't start any other conversation, and actually takes a nap
through English, so for the first time in a very long time, there's nothing
to talk about in the morning until lunch.

     I'd forgotten how quiet it really got.

     ***

     Okay--  He got the better of me last time.  I could run Koizumi-kun
down for a rematch, but I realize at this point all I'd really get is more
of the same nonsense.  Instead, when the lunch bell rings, I go for Kyon's
tie again.

     He's still faster than me -- but he still follows me when I try and
lead him away.  He looks confused as we come to a stop in the same corridor
where I announced the plan to form a club, not that long ago.  "Kyon, I
need to tell you something important," I warn him.

     "I'm listening," he returns solemnly, the traces of a smile on his
face vanishing.  "What's this about?"

     "Our club has been ... almost too successful at finding what we want,"
I tell him slowly, staring into his eyes.  "So--  You may find this hard to
believe, but, Nagato Yuki is an alien!"

     "...really?" he answers, giving me a strange look.

     "Asahina Mikuru is a time traveler!" I add quickly, scowling when I
recognize his skepticism.  "It's true--  And Koizumi Itsuki is an esper!"

     "And you're the magical girl that brings them all together?" he asks,
rolling his eyes.  "Really, Suzumiya...."

     "H...hey," I protest, scowling.

     "I was hoping this was about you deciding to apologize to Asahina-san."

     Apologize!?  But--  "She's a time traveler from the future!  She only
acts like that to trick you!" I complain.  "You can't still be falling for
that act, can you?"

     He purses his lips and looks away.

     And ... I've been running around and demanding proof the entire time.
 I don't have any of my _own_ to offer up, either.  Probably this is the
kind of situation that I should have had more of a plan to deal with.
 Something more than 'get it to stop being so quiet,' anyway.  If I'd just
remembered to take those damn pictures!

     I guess if what Koizumi-kun claims is true, I could just piss Kyon off
enough to make another one of those spaces.  That idea makes my stomach
turn, though -- and not just because there's no guarantee that Koizumi-kun
would agree to take me along again.  More importantly, while it might have
seemed like a good plan at one point, all I can think of is how much that
would make me like Mikuru -- and that's _not_ a pleasant thought at all!

     I have to figure out some longer-term plan to reveal the truth to
Kyon.  I think I'll leave Koizumi-kun alone for now, since he was the least
rude and annoying about things.  Yuki....  Yuki, I'm honestly not sure what
to make of.  I have no idea if there's anything about her that would
qualify as 'proof' or not that I could uncover without her realizing, and
she'd ... well, she'd already told me Kyon wouldn't believe me, hadn't she?

     It circles back to Mikuru again, doesn't it?  She's tricky, and I
can't use the straightforward approach.  I'll have to figure out a more
subtle way to pull this off -- get her to reveal that she's coldly
manipulative, and not the adorable moe-moe figure Kyon _thinks_ she is!
 And -- no matter what -- I can't afford to let her paint me as the 'bad
guy' again!

     "...yeah, don't worry--  I won't go after Mikuru like that again," I
mumble, when the silence gets uncomfortable.

     This is the saddest thing ever--  It's not that I want Kyon to be
around as much as ... of all the people he hangs out with, I'm the only one
who even tries to be honest with him.  If somehow, our positions were
reversed, I'd hope he at least tried as much as I did right there.  I'm not
happy with things as they are, but until I can figure out some way to make
him believe me -- that _doesn't_ play into their hands -- what can I do?

     "I don't know about that last part, but ... is that a promise?" he
finally asks.

     "I swear," I agree, grimacing.  There's no way in _hell_ I want to
help her play up that farce!  It was really cute -- right until it turned
against _me_.  "I don't _ever_ want to have things turn out like that
again!"  But I _will_ find a way to show you what she really is!

     "You look especially determined," he allows.  "Alright ... well, in
that case, I should apologize for my own roughness."

     I blink at that, a bit surprised, then he smiles nervously and shifts
his gaze to one side.

     "So .... even if you were out of line, I'm sorry for that, Suzumiya."

     ...that's really not what I expected to hear.  Still ... I suppose
there _is_ something great about how we can speak more honestly than anyone
else in the Brigade.  "I'll let that go, then," I agree, nodding.  Maybe
it's just a little bit, but I manage to smile back at him.

     ***

     Figuring out that we're all stuck until I can explain things to Kyon,
that session of our club is the most boring session yet.  Koizumi and Kyon
play reversi.  Mikuru's got her maid uniform on, but I don't want anything
to do with that anymore.  Yuki's by herself in the corner, reading her book
and never looking up.

     It's the kind of situation that's just _begging_ for a client to come
in and give us a case--  Not that we put out many flyers, really.  Or that
_something_ would break the tension....

     I don't want to be the one who breaks that silence; I think the way
things are now is pretty lousy, and don't want to make it worse.  Kyon
didn't believe me, but I'm probably on better terms with him than the
others.

     Somehow, that seems like it's the only good thing to come out of this.
 I'm not sure what that whole 'chosen' bit the others threw out means
entirely....  I mean, I don't think Koizumi-kun is completely right when he
suggested that Kyon might want to date me.  If _that_ were the case, he
could have asked me out at any time.

     What I _do_ know is ... one way or another, I'm closer to Kyon than
they are.  That's probably the fact that keeps me from exploding, just
practicing spinning a pen across my hand and surfing the web.  Even Mikuru
isn't _that_ close ... though if I'm not careful, her act could change that
a lot.

     Figuring out how to move against Mikuru when Kyon still buys into that
is the tricky part.  I do remember what he said, and there's no great
reason to leave things as they are.  Even if Kyon's not that upset with me,
knowing what kind of person Mikuru is....  Yeah, there's no _way_ that I'm
going to let her manipulate him if I can help it!

     "Ah, Mikuru-chan," I say, not as smoothly as I hoped.

     She looks up from where she was observing Kyon's game with Koizumi,
looking surprised and anxious.  Kyon, Koizumi-kun, and Yuki naturally watch
as well.

     It takes me a moment to figure out the words that I want to use while
still being technically honest, but I finally say, "I'm ... sorry about
yesterday.  I don't want something like that to happen again!  I promise
you, Mikuru-chan, I will work very hard to make sure it doesn't!"

     I don't think I'd bother normally--  Apologies aren't usually my
thing; I prefer to not screw up in the first place.  But in some ways, this
is my own act to counter Mikuru's.  Well, as close as I'm willing to get to
it, anyway.  Fight fire with fire, as they say.  So ... not the full ninety
degrees, but I give her a bow anyway.

     It's almost silent in the clubroom, until Mikuru manages to
uncertainly reply, "U...um....  It's ... okay...."

     When I rise, I get the satisfaction of seeing her look confounded --
maybe _genuinely_ so, not just pretending!  Well, I can hope, anyway.

     She seems to realize her expression is off, and quickly gives a bright
smile.  "Ah--  T...thanks, Suzumiya-san, then, I'm happy for that!"

     Kyon nods very slightly to himself, giving me a smile of his own.
 Well, that dims things for me a bit; he doesn't understand what's really
even going on.  At least ... not _yet_.  "That's great!" I tell Mikuru.
 Shaking my head, I glance across the others and add, "Alright, I'm heading
home early; I've been having to rush to finish my homework lately, so need
to catch up on that.  You can stay or leave as you like--  See you
tomorrow!"

     My homework hasn't been that big a problem, and I think Kyon picks up
on that too--  But he nods to himself as I step through the door anyway.
 Maybe he thinks it was really hard for me to apologize, or something?  He
shouldn't ... I mean, I apologized to _him_, right?

     Still....  My real reason to use that time is to try and come up with
a solid plan to solve this whole mess--  Some way to prove to Kyon who the
others are -- and then himself!

     ---------------------------------

-- 
Brian Randall
--
Yrne awaits those with the courage to seek it.
--
I write fanfiction. Too much of it. You can read it here, on my terrible
webpage:
http://pishoque.net/brian/
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