[FFML] [Haruhi] Outcast (part 2/3)

[Brian Randall]

#     Outcast

##     A Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu fanfiction

###     by Brian Randall

     Disclaimer: The series begun with the light novel 'The Melancholy of
Suzumiya Haruhi'/'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru
Tanigawa.  No disrespect is intended with the creation of this work.

     --------------------------------------------------

     After a relatively relaxing day of weekend with no greater
responsibilities than playing with my younger sister and helping her with
her homework, I woke up uncomfortably early on what should have been a
restful day.  My mission was to meet with Suzumiya and the others for
whatever club activity she'd designed.

     At breakfast, my mother raised an eyebrow at me wearing the school
uniform.  It wasn't that uncommon for students to wear their uniforms
outside of school, and the alternatives....  My outdoor shoes were worn and
scuffed enough, despite my better efforts.

     "What's this all about, then?" she asked, handing over my portion of
rice.

     "I joined a club," I admitted, as my sister perked up.

     My mother smiled cautiously.  "Well, have fun, but be careful," she
admonished.  "You've finished your homework?"

     "Of course," I replied.  Most of it, anyway.

     There was time to finish the rest later that evening.

     After that, I hurried to the station, reaching the meeting point with
a comfortable five minutes to spare--

     "You are _late_!" Suzumiya declared, pointing at me imperiously as I
slowed, realizing the others had beaten me there.  "_Penalty_!"

     ...or so I had thought.

     I stared in mystified silence for a heartbeat, before raising my watch
to my ear.  Suzumiya raised her eyebrows as I listened to the careful tick,
then shook my head.  The train station had a giant clock before it, and
_it_ seemed to suggest I was at the very least on time, as well.  In any
case, I had already made an inadvertent show of confirming that my watch
hadn't started running slow.

     "How do you figure that?" I wondered, scratching the back of my head.

     "The last one to arrive is late," she said, as though that explained
everything.  Giving a sharp shake of her head, she pointed to a nearby
cafe.  "As your penalty, you'll have to cover breakfast for everyone!" she
announced, smirking at me.

     I stared, dumbstruck, unable to keep a look of utter dismay from my
face.  Her smile faded to a glower of annoyance.

     "Well?" she prompted, irritated.

     "I don't even ha--  That--  I didn't bring that much with me," I
stuttered, too shaken to properly consider what I'd started to say until it
was too late.

     She blinked, staring me up and down and she warmed up another angry
retort.  She started to bark something out and abruptly choked it back,
eyes widening as she looked unexpectedly rattled, her gaze caught on my
shoes for a moment before looking up and to one side.  "I--  Naturally I
was joking!" she coughed, sputtering for a moment before forcing a laugh
that didn't match her scowl.  "Hah--  Uh, like I said a few days ago, it's
the leader's responsibility to watch our for her subordinates!

     "That means it's all on me -- as I'd planned from the beginning, of
course!  There is still a penalty, but you'll find out what that is later!
 Being teased like this is just for making us wait!"

     She laughed uneasily again, prompting Asahina-san to give her a
curious, confused look.  "Um, a joke?" the upperclassman wondered.  "I--  I
don't get--"

     "So, today we're going to search for mysterious things!" Suzumiya
nearly exploded, jumping in place and thrusting a fist into the air.  "We
all have to make sure to keep our energy up, right?"

     ...it didn't take a genius to realize she'd figured out how little
money my family had to work with.  So, as embarrassing as it was ... thank
you, Suzumiya, for that much.

     "But, I don't--" Asahina-san started before Suzumiya interrupted her
once more.

     "A joke!  A prank!  You're supposed to laugh, Mikuru-chan!  Maybe I
should tickle you to help you be amused?  It's just a pointless distraction
before we sit down and focus!" she insisted.  "N-now come on!"

     "Eeh!" Asahina-san yelped, clearly still bewildered.  "Um, I mean,
hahaha!"

     I had no idea how to take things, but was at least spared greater
humiliation for the moment, thanks to Suzumiya's unexpected distraction.

     I couldn't really remember the last time I'd eaten out, so let myself
be led along by the others as Suzumiya marched into the cafe.  I supposed
it had to be when my aunt and uncle were in town.  They always wanted to
treat my mother and her family well.  It had been a while, though, hadn't
it?

     When it was time for our orders, Suzumiya stared at her menu with a
look of concentration such that I half expected it to burst into flame.
 She insisted, "I'll order last.  Yuki, why don't you go first?  And be
sure to get enough to eat!"

     Seated in a square formation around a table of the same shape,
Suzumiya was to my left, and Nagato directly across from me.  I only then
belatedly noticed that she was wearing her uniform, too.  Well, at least I
wouldn't stick out too much.  Both Suzumiya and Asahina-san were wearing
casual skirts and blouses -- a yellow top and earth-tone skirt for
Suzumiya, and a billowing light blue matching skirt and top for Asahina-san.

     Nagato quietly ordered a bowl of porridge, while Asahina-san hedged
for a moment and then decided on French toast.  I wasn't used to the menu,
but already knew my answer.  "I didn't know about this, so ate before
arriving," I said with a shrug.  "Would just coffee be alright?"

     "Not a problem!" the waitress chirped at me, nodding.

     Suzumiya looked as though she was about to protest, but bit back
whatever she was going to say.  "I'm not that hungry yet, so just coffee
for me, as well," she decided.

     "Okay, then!" the waitress called, nodding before she hustled off to
place our orders.

     "Um ... thanks for the coffee," I said quietly.

     "Oh, yes!  Thank you for covering us," Asahina-san agreed sweetly.
 "That's very considerate of you, Suzumiya-san!"

     "Thank you," Nagato echoed very softly.

     "I...it's nothing," Suzumiya insisted, shaking her head sharply.
 "Like I said -- the leader's responsibility!"

     Then, even though I was dreading it, I asked, "What's my penalty?"

     "Worry about that later," Suzumiya answered, shaking her head.

     ***

     After a subdued meal....  Well, it was really only half a meal, since
Suzumiya and I only took coffee....  At any rate, once it was done and
Suzumiya settled the check, we walked outside, where she pulled some
lengths of red yarn from her shoulder-bag.  With great flair, she tucked
them into a fist with just half of the ends protruding.

     We drew them in order, both Nagato and I grabbing short lengths, and
Asahina-san a longer length.

     "There we go," Suzumiya declared, showing Asahina-san a matching
length.  "Alright!  Yuki, Kyon, you'll be the western team.  You're to
scout out to the west and see if you find anything mysterious!  Mikuru-chan
and I will scour the east!  Try to find something good!"

     "Understood," Nagato answered in her quiet monotone.

     "You got it," I mumbled, not much louder.  We turned about and plodded
away before Suzumiya could add anything else.  How perceptive _was_ the
quiet girl, anyway?

     Had she figured out what Suzumiya obviously had?

     Did she care?

     Then again -- for all I knew, she was in the same situation.  Of
course, wearing a school uniform instead of more casual clothes wasn't a
strong indicator.  Many high school students did it.  Searching for some
hint, I couldn't help trying to steal glances at her shoes.  If they told
me anything, it was that either she took much better care of them than I
did, or our situations weren't that similar after all.

     So ... that part of blending in seemed to have failed.  What should I
have done about it?  Stated things plainly?  Tried to ask a few leading
questions?

     I wasn't able to figure anything out quickly, but I knew for certain
that I wasn't able to give Suzumiya's search the focus she'd demanded.

     Without any firmer route in mind, we detoured through a nearby park.
 When Nagato's silence became unnerving, I finally asked her, "Nagato-san,
those books you read....  You like science-fiction?"

     "It is interesting," she answered quietly, without hesitation.  I
almost wasn't certain I hear her; her voice was barely louder than the
breeze whispering through the trees surrounding us.

     Had she been waiting for me to speak?  "I see!  Do you read anything
else?"

     "Yes."

     It was not the most lengthy answer I'd received.  Feeling like I was
faltering, trying to find some common ground, I offered, "I've really
mostly only read history and school books, myself--  Uh, I'm a big fan of
history books.  Do you ... read many of those?"

     Tilting her head slightly to one side, her voice still barely louder
than a whisper, she answered, "Many."

     "Do you ... have many favorites?" I tried.

     She shook her head slowly.  "Best-seller list."

     Was that....  "Which library do you get your books from?" I asked.

     She blinked in response, slowing to a stop and tilting her head to one
side curiously.

     "You ... buy your books?" I asked.

     She nodded in response, though as usual, the gesture was so tiny it
was almost impossible to detect.

     "I--  I see!  I like to read at the library when I can," I offered
lamely.  "There's ... one not far from here."  There was another girl, in
middle school, that I spent quite a bit of time there with, studying.

     Nagato stared at me, her expression betraying only the merest hints of
curiosity.  "Um, it's ... probably not what Suzumiya-san wants us to find,
exactly, but if you've never seen one, I wouldn't mind showing you the way.
 It might be better than having to buy a new book--"  I bit my tongue at
that.

     Not in the metaphorical sense, but the literal one.  Somehow, without
saying anything at all, this girl could unnerve me, make blather things I'd
usually try and be much more subtle about.

     Offering a lame chuckle, I ran one hand through my hair and amended,
"If you want to check it out from the library first, or just read a few
pages to see if it's worth buying, that may be convenient.  Or perhaps if
you're just looking for a quiet place to read and....  Is your family loud?"

     "I am alone," she answered quietly.

     What ... really?  "No--  No parents or siblings?" I asked in surprise.

     "They reside elsewhere," she replied, her eyes closing for a moment
before reopening.

     I was not handling things as well as I wished I was.  "Well, let's ...
see the library, then," I suggested weakly.

     She gave her tiny nod and followed me on feet like a ghosts', making
no sound.  Having her silently following me became unnerving by the time we
reached the edge of the park.

     "You can walk at my side, Nagato-san," I offered.  It would be better
than me needing to look back every few steps to make sure she was still
there.  "You don't need to stay behind me."

     I paused as she regarded me with an unreadable expression.

     Thinking she might just be following because she wasn't certain where
we were going, I gestured down the road.  Without any further hesitation,
she stepped to my side and regarded me expectantly.  With that, she matched
my speed perfectly, holding position without seeming effort.

     That struck me as far better.  Somehow, being ahead of her made me
feel uncomfortable ... not the least because even if Asahina-san hadn't
realized what Suzumiya had, I didn't have any idea what Nagato's stance on
things was.

     We reached the library shortly, and Nagato blinked several times,
trying to absorb it all once we stepped through the doors.  She hadn't been
kidding, she really _had_ never seen one before!  She wandered about
lightly on her toes, like a spirit drawn to the printed world, abandoning
her earthly cares to drift from shelf to shelf.

     I had to smile a little bit.  For all she seemed distant, it was clear
that she was at home -- in her element here.  As tempting as it was to join
her and get lost in my favorite subject, I followed her for a bit before
explaining softly, "You can check books out, here.  They'll let you borrow
them for a while, and once you return them you can get more.  If you've
never been, do you know about getting a library card?"

     She shook her head a tiny distance, already holding a pair of books.
 "No," she said in a voice that no one would ever complain about in a
library.

     "Well ... I can show you how to get one set up," I offered.  "We can
fill out the paperwork and then you can come back once you've brought
enough for the fee."

     Her eyes blinked, and I realized I'd made another slip.  She probably
had enough for the fee already.

     I'd gotten enough for a card for my birthday, once.  That had been a
real asset during my last year of middle school, but had lapsed months ago.
 If I'd _thought_ about it, I could have brought some of my dwindling
Golden Week savings along with me.  That would have been a worthwhile
expense.

     Well, they say hindsight is perfect, more or less, don't they?

     When she said nothing, I led her to the forms and showed her how to
fill them out.  She hesitated halfway though, but instead of being
uncertain or asking me for clarification -- not that she had any questions
-- she simply took another blank form and presented it to me.

     "You want me to fill one out as well?" I asked, confused.

     She gave her tiny nod and stared at me expectantly.

     Well, why wouldn't I?  Filling out the forms didn't mean I needed to
turn them in.

     Once we finished with that and I showed her to the librarian's desk up
front, she took my form before I could protest.  "Both of these?" the
matronly woman asked, glancing between us, smiling softly at a normal pair
of uniformed students.

     "Yes," Nagato softly answered.

     "Ah, I'll--  I'll pay you back tomorrow," I said with a wince, ducking
my head at Nagato's generosity.

     She shook her head in her almost unobservable denial and announced,
"Literature club fund expense."

     ...I had no counter argument for that.

     "Very diligent!" the woman behind the counter remarked, smiling as she
printed our cards out and handed them over, then took payment from Nagato
and handed the change over.

     While belated, I managed to ask, "Is that okay?  Especially if
Suzumiya-san wants us to be in a different club?"

     Meeting my eyes, I thought I could detect the faintest hints of a
smile in her gaze, though her facial expression didn't seem to change one
whit.  "It is fine," she said in a quiet whisper, extending the card she
had gotten for me.

     "I....  Thank you, Nagato-san," I answered, bowing deeply and
accepting it with both hands, the way a businessman might accept an
exchanged card.

     Looking very faintly satisfied with herself, Nagato then wandered back
to the bookshelves.  After checking my watch to ensure we weren't going to
be late -- I certainly didn't want to risk another penalty -- I decided to
trail after and see what kinds of books might interest her.

     ***

     Unexpectedly, Suzumiya and Asahina-san were the ones who were late.

     Nagato and I had arrived with about twenty minutes to spare to avoid
penalties.  I'd talked her out of checking out the maximum of ten books,
down to a mere two, since we hadn't brought bags with us.

     When she approached, Asahina-san trailing behind her and smiling
pleasantly, Suzumiya eyed our books doubtfully.  I'd only gotten one, but
my hope was that it would appease our club founder.  "Well," Suzumiya said
abruptly once she drew within speaking range, "you weren't late.  So,
what's with those?"  She pointed at our books suspiciously.

     I held up my copy of Carl Sagan's, 'Communication With
Extraterrestrial Intelligence.'

     Suzumiya's scowl faded a bit.  "I don't think you quite understood
what we were supposed to be looking for," she grumbled.

     "Sorry ... Nagato-san had never been to a library before, and without
any better clues, I thought it might be good to get something that would
help with our radio telescope project," I offered, shrugging before holding
the book out.

     "Really," Suzumiya drawled, before straightening up.  "Okay--  This
was your doing, Kyon, not Yuki's.  Am I right?"

     I wasn't looking forward to what was going to happen next, but after
the kindness Nagato had shown me, I wasn't about to let her take the blame.
 "I just said as much, didn't I?"

     Suzumiya heaved a dramatic sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.
 "Alright," she announced tiredly.  "We obviously need a one-on-one
discussion about the goal of this exercise.  Mikuru-chan, Yuki, we're going
to split up for lunch.  Kyon, you're coming with me."

     "Ah?" Asahina-san started, blinking.  "But, I...."

     She trailed off as Suzumiya grabbed my wrist with surprising strength
and dragged me after her -- right into the same cafe we were at earlier.
 Nagato merely watched curiously, not even rising from her seat on the
stone bench we'd been waiting at before the station.

     I tried to protest, "Suzumiya-san--"

     "Save it," she snapped tersely, leading me to a seat at another table,
then crossing her arms over her chest and dropping into her own, directly
across from me.  "The library ... _really_, now, Kyon!  You were supposed
to search for something mysterious, not hide inside.  What kind of alien's
going to be poking around all those books?"

     She had a good point.  I couldn't imagine that kind of alien myself,
as much as I would have liked to.  "It--  I tried to," I said, frowning.
 "You didn't--"

     "Hold that thought," she commanded as the waitress approached.
 Turning to her, in a softer voice, she said, "If it's not any trouble,
we'll each have the katsu donburi and green tea, thanks," before returning
her attention to me.  "What's done is done, and you've gotten it anyway, so
tell me about this book!"

     The waitress nodded, beaming me a smile and tucking a strand of her
green hair behind her ear before retreating faster than I could protest.

     "Where to even begin," I mumbled.  I couldn't afford that....  Hadn't
Suzumiya figured that out, already?

     "At the beginning, unless you know a better place!" she answered
unhesitatingly.  "You think it's got useful clues in it?"

     "I'll let you judge," I sighed, not quite sure what else to do, but
offering the book out again.

     She accepted the volume, leafing through a few pages eagerly.  "This
looks interesting!" she declared quickly.  "Alright, I won't give you an
additional penalty beyond this lecture, then," she finally determined.
 "This is ... not that bad.  But I could have gone to the library to find
this myself!  So I expect you to read this very carefully, and learn as
much as you can about how this will help us."

     Her food was brought to the table by our smiling waitress, who set a
steaming bowl of donburi and a cup of tea before each of us without
hesitation.

     Suzumiya scowled when I only stared at the cutlet over rice before me.
 "If it's a penalty, you don't get to choose your own order," she said in a
warning tone, before I found anything to say.

     I supposed ... there was nothing else to do but accept it.  "Thanks,"
I said quietly.

     "A...anyway," she continued, coughing, "I want you to read it
carefully and take good notes--  I may even test you on it later!
 Understand?"

     Somehow, I couldn't be entirely surprised by that reaction.  Well, it
_was_ my offering for 'something amazing' on the mystery search.
 "Understood," I agreed.

     Nodding in satisfaction, she separated her wooden chopsticks and
gestured for me to do the same.  "Don't take forever," she admonished,
though in a softer tone.  "Yuki and Mikuru-chan will be waiting on us,
after all."

     "Alright, then."  I ... couldn't think of anything else to say in such
an uneven situation.  She seemed enthusiastic about the find, even if it
had been something of a cop-out.

     Well, there was one possibility.  "So, this book," I tried, while she
sampled the first bite.  "You think it will be useful?"

     "It better be," she said, raising her eyebrows.  "You're going to be
taking notes and learning from it, after all -- this is by the same person
who helped found SETI!  Naturally, we can't neglect investigating time
travelers, spirits, or anything else worthwhile, but this is valuable
insight!"

     "Alright, alright," I sighed, glad that the cloud of awkwardness
hanging over us seemed to have lifted.  "Did you find anything good?"  I
finally allowed myself to take a bite of the fare before me while waiting
for her reply, since she'd already started on hers.  It was ... really
good, actually, and almost hot enough to burn my tongue.

     "Ah," she answered, perking up further.  "Well, nothing _really_
amazing -- but there's a park where I found a spot to set up our radio
telescope, once we get a dish!  It could be a good place to hunt for
spirits, too!  Who knows, just yet?"

     "How are we going to move the dish around, anyway?  Or properly aim
it?"

     "One thing at a time," she said, her enthusiasm restored.  Waggling a
fingertip at me, she chided, "You may be doubtful, but as long as you keep
an open mind to learn from books like this, you still have a chance!"

     "You know, Carl Sagan is skeptical of UFOs and alien visitations,
too," I countered, recalling what I'd read elsewhere.

     "And yet, he wrote this!" Suzumiya declared, thumping the closed book
on the table before her.  "Don't close your mind to the possibilities, even
if you _are_ a skeptic!  Just because the dumber and less likely stories
probably aren't real doesn't mean that none of them are!  You have to learn
from this to spot the more reliable signs and clues!"

     "Alright," I agreed, managing a small smile.

     Suzumiya favored me with a surprisingly dazzling smile of her own at
that, her eyes glowing with enough energy I suspected those same aliens
could probably sense it from wherever they might be hiding.  "Good!  Now
hurry up -- once you're done, you'll race back to the meeting spot!  I'll
take care of things here, and our team won't be late to return again!"

     "You didn't tell Asahina-san or Nagato-san that there was a time
limit!" I protested, even as I complied.  My mother was not a terrible
cook, but this was at least as good as her cooking, and probably better.

     "Last one to return is still late," she insisted, gulping down her tea.

     ***

     There wasn't much point to Suzumiya sending me out to wait at our
chosen location for rendezvous.  Without being warned about the urgency to
return, Asahina-san and Nagato took a bit to show up.  While waiting,
Suzumiya flipped impatiently through the book I checked out.  Perhaps I
should have grabbed Nakagami Neji's 'The Sea of Withered Trees' as well.
 Certainly, Nagato had made me start thinking that it would be good to
branch out from just history books!

     Once the pair came into sight, rounding the corner, Suzumiya's sharp
eyes spotted them and she popped instantly to her feet, thrusting the book
back toward me.  I realized I should have brought a bag.  If there was
anything to find, I'd want a convenient way to carry it, wouldn't I?

     Well, that was hindsight for you.

     "Late," Suzumiya barked, once they were in earshot, fixing them with a
menacing grin.  "For shame....  Well -- that means last choice for you,
then!"

     Suzumiya wasted no time pulling the strings she had used earlier from
her bag and putting them in her fist again -- this time letting me have the
first draw.  Once again, I got a short string.

     Suzumiya pulled a long string, next, giving it a curious look.
 "Mikuru-chan next," she decided, presenting the strings for the wide-eyed
older girl.

     The pleasant-mannered upperclassman pulled a short string, matching
mine, and Suzumiya made a face, showing Nagato the other matched string
before collecting them and stowing them in her bag again.

     "Alright -- this time, Yuki and I will check north, and Kyon and
Mikuru-chan will check south," she ordered.  "We're going to be searching,
so keep your eyes peeled, Yuki!  And Kyon, no hiding indoors from your
assignment, alright?  No window-shopping, either!  Signs of aliens, ghosts
-- try and find _something_, understand?"

     "Okay!" Asahina-san agreed.

     Less enthusiastically, I nodded my own confirmation to Suzumiya's
orders.  I owed her at this point, didn't I?

     The pair of us walked down the road headed away from the station.
 "Did you have a good lunch, Asahina-san?" I asked, trying to start a
conversation, or maybe just engage in small-talk.

     "Oh, yes -- Nagato-san and I found an okonomiyaki-ya," she agreed,
favoring me with a pleasant smile.  "It was good!  I hadn't had it before!"

     "That's nice.  I didn't know there was a place like that around here."

     "Ah, and how about you?" she asked, tilting her head to one side.
 "Did you have a good lunch?"

     "Um, we had katsu donburi," I answered honestly.  "It was pretty good."

     "That seems like a nice cafe ... I wouldn't mind meeting there once in
a while, but I'm glad Suzumiya was generous enough to cover it for us!"
Asahina-san said with a giggle.

     I had to look away.  If Asahina-san was saying what I thought ... then
that was quite subtle.

     As we walked past a convenience store, I tried to change the subject.
 "I'm still a bit confused about something from earlier in the week,
Asahina-san.  Can I ask you about it?"

     "Oh, well, maybe," she allowed, her smile fading a bit.

     I suspected I already knew how she would answer, but when we paused to
wait for a crosswalk, I asked, "What ... happened that day?  With the
photographs?"

     "Ah," Asahina-san said with a wince, looking away.  "Um....  I should
say something about that, shouldn't I?"

     "If you don't want to, you don't have to," I answered quickly, as the
light changed and we moved forward together.  This was not how I had
imagined walking alone with Asahina-san to be.  Though, I couldn't imagine
doing much more than walking with such a refined, cultured young lady!  I'm
sure her family was very protective of her, so getting closer than we were
already simply wasn't conceivable.

     I still had the hope that we could be friends.

     "I should say something, though," Asahina-san said slowly.  "Even if
... I would be happier pretending ... that certain thing hadn't
happened...."  She suddenly darted forward a few steps to stand in front of
me, then stopped and turned to face me.  "But there is something I have to
say anyway!"

     I froze, not quite expecting that.  What could it be?

     "Kyon-kun, thank you for talking to Suzumiya-san, and also for being
so reasonable!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together before her.
 "She ... can be a bit scary, but as long as Kyon-kun is there, then I know
it will be fine!  Things won't get out of hand, and...."  She trailed off,
pink tingeing her cheeks.  "Ah, what I mean to say is, I'm impressed and
happy that you were able to talk to her so easily....  I don't, um, like
fighting or arguments, but that didn't happen, so I feel that things will
be okay!  Suzumiya-san is ... interesting.  R...really, with her energy,
and your calm, this might even be fun!"

     That was a lot to take in.  A few of the people wandering the streets
gave us sidelong glances, and I had to nervously scratch the back of my
neck at that flattery.  "That's ... very kind of you," I finally managed.
 "Um, are you sure it's okay to just leave things like that?"

     "Suzumiya-san gave her word, and I don't think she will go back on
that," Asahina-san returned earnestly.  "So with Kyon-kun and Suzumiya-san,
I believe it will be okay!"

     That was actually very reassuring to hear!  "What about Nagato-san?" I
wondered.

     "Ah, I don't...."  Asahina-san's eyes darted away and her face
colored.  "Nagato-san is very quiet.  It's...."  She hedged a moment, then
sighed, slumping slightly.  I got the impression of a child who was trying
to lie, but realized it was pointless and had just given up -- she seemed
relieved a slight bit that she could be more honest as she said, "She's a
little ... scary, because of how quiet she is."

     I couldn't tell her I thought otherwise.

     "I know," I agreed, surprising her, then shaking my head, gesturing
behind her, down the street.  "But I don't think that anyone should be
judged based on their exterior, if they can help it.  There's always
something behind that mask; not everyone can be perfectly open.  And from
what I've seen, Nagato-san is a good person, well worth knowing."

     "I...is that so?" Asahina-san asked cautiously, falling into step
beside me as we continued walking.

     "I believe it," I said, nodding.

     "Okay," Asahina-san said with determination, fixing her cute features
in a mask of resolve as she nodded.  "Then I will be patient with her!  I
know I can trust you, and so...."

     Well....  That was flattering, but starting to drift toward dangerous
territory.  I really knew better -- I had to avoid getting _too_ close to
someone as pleasant and refined as Asahina-san.  All it would take is one
person digging too deeply into....

     Changing the subject, I asked, "What do you think about Suzumiya-san's
plan to find ... time travelers and other things like that?"  I was about
to say 'aliens' again, but we'd been going over that topic rather a lot
already.

     Asahina-san faltered a bit, and managed a weak smile.  "I ... think if
she sets her mind to it, she could probably find such people ... if they
were real," she said hesitantly.  "Um, but who's to say?"

     "Well, that's our mission for today."  I shook my head and put my
hands in my pockets, looking up at the sky.  "While it would undoubtedly
make her happy if I could come back to meet her with a time traveler, I
wouldn't even know where to begin searching for them.  What do you think?
 How would we watch for time travelers, Asahina-san?"

     For some reason, the question had made her very nervous.  Perhaps she
didn't like thinking about paranormal and supernatural things?

     "I--  I would think ... that a time traveler would look just like
anyone else, if they could help it," she said uneasily.  "Um ... if they
were doing their jobs right ... wouldn't no one be able to tell them apart
from the people around them?"

     I chuckled at that thought.  "I suppose," I admitted.  "It might be
true for aliens, but time travelers should look just like us, right?  For
all I know, you could be one!"

     "Eh, hehe," Asahina-san eked out, forcing the laugh and looking even
paler than before.

     Well, that was no good.  "What's wrong?" I asked, as we stopped at
another crosswalk.

     "I...it," Asahina-san started, looking troubled.  "W...well, if...."

     I had a sudden insight, and offered what I hoped was a reassuring
smile.  "Ah--  You're thinking I would play a joke and tell Suzumiya-san
that you really _are_ a time traveler?" I asked.

     "Eee!" she squeaked, prompting some of the others waiting with us to
glance at her.  "I--  I wouldn't want her to be told that!" she said,
aghast.

     "Of course," I agreed.  "You would rather she accepted you as you are,
for who you are, not something silly like that.  Am I right?"

     Asahina-san stared at me with widening eyes, pausing so long that the
light changed.  We both stood there, while I waited for her to recover
herself, even when the small group of people waiting at the intersection
with us crossed the street, and the lights changed again.

     "R...really," she said slowly, finally ducking her head and staring at
her feet, "that's true.  Almost more than anything I'd like to be friends
with Suzumiya-san!  If it was because of who I was and not ... being a
time-traveler, then that would be even better!"

     "Then I promise I won't joke about that again," I promised solemnly.
 "I'm sorry, Asahina-san."

     "I--  Thank you, Kyon-kun," she said, shaking her head and offering me
a smile almost on par with the one I'd gotten from Suzumiya earlier.  She
still seemed a bit troubled ... but more, earnestly happy about things.
 She giggled suddenly, shaking her head.  "Suzumiya-san said we should be
searching for something though, right?  We'd probably best do as she
instructed!"

     "Alright, then.  What shall we look for?"

     "Ah....  I couldn't even say where to begin," she said apologetically,
biting her lip in consternation as the light changed again and we started
to cross the street.

     We'd gone far enough to reach another of the city's parks -- something
I liked about the city -- so I suggested, "Why not walk in the park and
keep an eye out for anything unusual for Suzumiya-san, then?"

     "That sounds fine by me!" Asahina-san agreed brightly.

     ***

     Walking in the park with Asahina-san was a remarkably pleasant way to
spend the afternoon, all things considered.  This particular park happened
to have a good number of flower beds, and I was impressed at how well she
was versed in their names -- and the meanings of them if they were
presented as gifts.  As we walked back to the assigned meeting point, the
afternoon sun was still high in the sky.  We were early, but hopefully not
too early.

     The same train station we'd been meeting at was just before us, and I
could see no sign of Suzumiya or Nagato.  Still walking next to
Asahina-san, I complimented her, "You must study flowers quite a bit!"

     "I--  It's something I like," she said with a smile.  "Um ... I was
instructed, er....  I was given some basics before I came to Kitago, so
I've kept my studies up, trying to learn more about, um, current botany!"

     "Plants?" Suzumiya asked suddenly, popping out of the crowd from
seemingly nowhere, Nagato trailing behind her, still clutching the books
she had picked up from the library.  "Is that what you looked for?"

     "It's not like that," I said quickly, when Asahina-san hopped into the
air a short distance in fright, landing unsteadily with wide eyes.

     Suzumiya's eyes locked onto me.  "Really?" she drawled.

     "Well -- okay, it started out that way," I admitted, shrugging.  "But
I had a thought on that.  What if alien life is different from what most
people imagine?"

     "What, alien _plants_?" Suzumiya asked, furrowing her brow.

     "It could be!" I agreed.

     "Huh," Suzumiya allowed, her ire fading to a thoughtful look.  "That's
a thought!  If we can imagine man-eating plants, then why not intelligent
ones?  Alright -- did you find anything?"

     "N...not really," Asahina-san admitted, wincing.

     Suzumiya grimaced.  "I see," she sighed.  "Well, neither did we.
 That'll have to do for now, since this was a preliminary search.  Next
time, we'll find more members, so we can cast a wider net!"

     I had to be impressed with her confidence that there was something to
be found so easily.  As tempting as it was to point out that something
truly odd should have been found by that point, if it were there to be
discovered so easily, I just made a thoughtful noise and allowed, "Maybe."

     Aside from which, knowing about Suzumiya's energy, she'd probably
insist that no one else had ever looked hard enough, and it really _was_
there.

     "Okay," Suzumiya said, shaking her head.  "Mikuru-chan, Yuki, good
work -- you're dismissed for the day."

     "And I'm not?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

     "Nope," she answered immediately, unslinging her bag from her shoulder
and tossing it at me.  It hit me in the chest, heavier than it looked, and
I just managed to grab the strap before dropping it.

     "Hey, be careful throwing things around like that," I said irritably.

     "You're fine," she said with a roll of her eyes, her attention turning
to the others.  "I'll see you two at school tomorrow -- for Kyon's penalty,
he's carrying my bag for me.  We're going to do one last check on the way
home to see if we find anything worthwhile.  With that, you are dismissed!"

     "Ah, uh--  Okay!" Asahina-san yelped, as though afraid to stay longer
once Suzumiya had given her release.  She and Nagato headed away in
different directions, leaving the pair of us alone.  I sighed and shifted
my grip on Suzumiya's bag, which I was suddenly glad wasn't terribly
feminine in design.

     That would be embarrassing.

     "How long is this going to take?" I asked, thinking of dinner at home,
and my unfinished homework.

     "Just come along," she said quietly, gesturing for me to follow.

     I bit back a sigh and fell into step behind her as she led the way.

     "Where are we going?" I wondered aloud.

     "Home," she said stiffly.

     What was wrong?  Was she just upset that we hadn't found anything?

     I couldn't think of what to say or ask, and evidently carrying her bag
was my penalty, so I could hardly protest.  But I had a sense that there
was something else she had singled me out for.  I couldn't imagine what it
was, but I could see the tension in her back just fine as she stalked
through the streets toward, evidently, her home.

     The sun slowly shifted through the skies, and my feet started to hurt
a little before her pace slowed.  We had wandered from downtown and into a
residential district, her pace slowing when we reached a school.  East
Middle School, in point of fact.  Hadn't she mentioned that it was her old
middle school?

     Before the gate, she finally came to a halt, staring through the bars
at the field beyond.  There was an aura of palpable melancholy about her as
she took another step forward, close enough to grip one of the bars in her
right hand.  For all of her strength, she didn't even try and open the
gate, which I was certain had to be locked--

     It would have been easier to climb, if that were her goal.  I did
recall one of Taniguchi's unsolicited stories -- that Suzumiya had drawn a
symbol on the lawn of the school at the start of middle school.

     "Let me tell you something," she said quietly.  She didn't even look
back to see if I was paying attention, but her intensity was enough I stood
up straight anyway.  "Now, listen close."

     Well, my attention is yours, Suzumiya-san....

     "Do you know ... what it's like to feel unimportant?"

     It was a feeling I was very comfortable with, actually.  Ignored is
better than overly scrutinized, to me.  I could only guess she felt very
different.

     "This isn't about simply not being involved in some thing or another,"
she continued, her head bowing slightly.  "It's the sensation that you, no
matter what you do, don't actually _matter_, because there are so many
other people that you can't possibly be significant in comparison to them."

     That was the kind of thing I tried not to dwell on, particularly.
 Such philosophical ramblings had a tendency to depress me, so I tried to
focus on the more positive aspects of them.  But I couldn't say anything
before she finished her point, so I merely said, "Of course."

     Her head rose again, though from the back, I couldn't see her face.
 "This is why I _have_ to find something," she said quietly, her voice
holding the slightest quaver.  "When I finished elementary school, as a
reward, my father took me to see the Tigers play."

     She paused, undoubtedly realizing that this was the kind of thing I
wouldn't have gotten to do.  Sighing softly, she pressed on.

     "When we got there, in the high bleachers, I was able to see the
entire stadium.  It was almost full ... and I could see the people....  So
many people.  They were packed in so densely it was hard to make sense of
them.  More than you could count, even by staring -- they were like grains
of rice, wriggling around, waving pennants and baseball caps to cheer the
Tigers on...."

     She took a deep breath.  We did watch baseball games on Sundays,
sometimes.  If I had been home instead of out with her, I might have
watched another one that day.  I'd seen stadium shots occasionally, showing
the crowds.  It had never really had that effect on me, but I tried to
imagine what it must have looked like to her.

     "When we got back home," she continued, her voice brisk, "I asked my
father, 'how many people were there?'  After all, I had thought that the
entire population of Japan must have shown up!"

     I bit back a remark that I knew I hadn't been there.  I knew that
wasn't her point.

     "He told me, 'the stadium has a capacity of fifty five thousand
people!'  So that night, I did some math.  The population the previous year
was recorded as one hundred ten million, one hundred sixty two thousand!"

     The fact that she remembered the numbers that well told me how
important this had to be to her.  "That meant that the population of Japan
was at least _two thousand_ times the number of people I saw that day!  So
that meant, when I thought about the people in my classroom -- who until
that day I had thought were the most amazing, interesting people in the
world -- how were they significant?  How could _I_ be significant?

     "Against that number, and the even greater population of the Earth ...
there had to be _truly_ amazing and significant people!  And that's why....
 That is why I have to find them!"

     It took some effort to process what she was saying.  I had always
known in an abstract sense that the number of people in the world was a
vast number, but the way she put it ... I could see how humbling it would
be.  Drops in the bucket!  Grains of sand on the beach!

     If I were younger, and more impressionable....

     But, no.  I couldn't perfectly see it from her point of view.  I
thought I could understand, a little, but given the chance, I'd happily be
just another insignificant grain among the many.

     "After that," she continued more softly.  "I felt like everything had
become duller.  My mother's cooking was bland ... the colors of the leaves
seemed less intense.  The people who I had thought were amazing and special
were just like everyone else -- boring beyond belief.

     "And because of that, if _I_ can't be one of those special, amazing
people out there ... I will never give up searching!  And I don't want
_you_ to give up searching, either!  Understand?"

     She finally turned to face me, releasing the gate from where she had
been gripping it.  I could see her eyes glistening with unshed moisture,
and had to look away.

     What ... was there to say to that?  Words tumbled from my lips before
I could call them back.  "I see...."  I knew, in an abstract sense what I
should have said -- or better, _done_.

     But I knew what kind of grain of sand I was in that bucket.  I knew
where it would eventually lead, and what I might have to expect if I
crossed bounds that I shouldn't have.  I really could understand how it had
shaken her ... but I wasn't able to find the right words.

     Before the silence grew too much, she took her bag from my hands and
quietly said, "You're dismissed for today, too," and marched down the
street.

     As the wind picked up from behind me, rushing down the street and
ruffling the hair of the girl I watched walk away, more words I hadn't
intended slipped from my mouth.  "I wouldn't mind being less significant."

     My volume might have rivaled Nagato's at that moment, and with the
breeze I hoped she hadn't heard me.  Her step faltered for the briefest
moment, as though she were going to turn....  But in the end, it seemed it
was just the wind after all, and she continued without pause, as inevitable
as the flow of time, and unchangeable as the course of history.

     I felt like I should have tried to chase after her and offer ...
something.  I couldn't, though, and even though she was walking the same
direction I had to go, I just watched until she was out of sight.  "I'm
sorry, Suzumiya-san," I said, even though it was too late, and too little.

     Even if it was only a tiny bit, I could feel her melancholy.

     Heaving a sigh, I wearily began my own trudge home.

     ***

     After arriving home later than I wanted, and rushing to complete the
homework I had delayed on, I found myself unable to sleep.  With nothing
better to do, I read the book -- Suzumiya's assignment to me.  I got a few
chapters in before exhaustion finally overtook me.

     Thanks to that, I was sluggish to wake.  My younger sister was eager
to help, and shook me in time with the ringing of my alarm.  I sat up and
finally shooed her off, once she was convinced I wasn't going to go back to
sleep.  The sense of weariness bore down from the time I wound my alarm
clock back up, until I had climbed the energy-sapping hill -- and
discovered something that snapped me out of my grogginess.

     Someone had left a note in my shoe locker.

     Not sure how else to handle it, the moment I overcame my shock at
seeing it sitting neatly atop my indoor shoes, I stuffed it into my uniform
blazer.  After changing shoes, I immediately set out to the nearest
bathroom and hid in a stall to read it.

     It was neatly written in a feminine hand, and politely asked if I
would meet the sender in my own classroom.  My heart-rate settled a bit,
though I was still mystified.  Who could have sent me this note?

     Suzumiya would simply _ask_ if she wanted my attention.  Or not ask,
and merely demand -- but she wouldn't resort to a letter.  I couldn't
imagine Nagato being behind this.  While it might have been Asahina-san, it
didn't seem to fit her, and I was certain that she, of all people, would
have signed a message.

     I didn't know what to make of it, ultimately.

     I couldn't just ignore it, though.  Not knowing how else to deal with
it, I resolved to respond to it after class and speak with ... whoever
directly.

     But what did they even want to talk to me about?

     Suzumiya was in the classroom when I finally entered, staring out the
window when I entered.  I supposed that spared me her sharp-eyed gaze
somehow seeing through me and asking why I was bothered.

     Hopefully it was something harmless....

     "We still need to find a fifth person," Suzumiya groused, not looking
toward me, or even saying 'hello'.

     "Did you have someone in mind?" I wondered, having forgotten about
that detail entirely.

     "It would be perfect if someone transfered in mysteriously," she
declared, nodding.  "Within the next few days.  Someone mysterious!
 Someone...."  She pursed her lips and turned to look at me.  "Who would
_you_ want to join the club?"

     What kind of question was that?  "From someone we know?  Or someone
we've never met before?"

     "Hmm, well, if you knew someone worth inviting, you'd have mentioned
them already -- so the ideal person," she explained.

     "I hadn't thought of it," I admitted.  "Someone who could get along
with everyone and give us information on something we don't already have, I
suppose."

     She shook her head.  "Did you finish the book?" she asked, changing
the subject before I could give it further thought.

     "No, just a few chapters," I admitted.  "It's got some interesting,
but complicated stuff in it."

     She was already staring out the window again.  "Good," she said
absently.  "We can discuss it during the club meeting today."

     Was she just planning to wait for her 'mysterious transfer student' to
suddenly arrive?

     I shook my head as Okabe-sensei entered the room.

     ***

     Considering how I'd spent Sunday, the day was comfortably normal,
until lunch.  As usual, Suzumiya was off like a shot, zipping through the
door like an ascending rocket in search of space.  She had mentioned to me
once that she was checking the school for unusual things, so presumably
it's more of the same.

     As had become habit, Kunikida and Taniguchi took seats near mine,
joining me for lunch as we opened our bentos.  "So," Taniguchi began
conversationally, looking moody and as though he were trying to be happy
about it.  I supposed the look might have been called 'resigned'?  "You
were dating Asahina-san on Sunday, huh?"

     I managed not to choke on my steamed vegetables, and just stared at
him, unblinking.

     Kunikida's expression became curious, and he asked, "What leads you to
that conclusion?"

     Taniguchi shrugged, hands spread in an exaggerated gesture.  "What
else can someone think when they see a person they call a friend dating
none other than the second year's idol -- the adorable, the lovely, the
amazing Asahina-san!  You'd be hard pressed to find a more popular girl in
the entire school!"

     Well, I had known she was good looking, well-mannered, and in many
senses an ideal example of a girl--  The only person I could think of who
came close was Asakura Ryouko, and I had to put Asahina-san above the class
rep.  Her manner was softer, and while both seemed traditional....

     Of course, both of them were probably from upright, well-to-do
families.

     "There's nothing to be jealous of on that front," I answered dryly,
taking a moment to compose my response.  "While Asahina-san may be an idol,
and I have no complaints about her, we were merely walking together in
Suzumiya-san's club.  It was by coincidence that you saw us together.  If
you'd been elsewhere, you might have seen me walking with Nagato-san
earlier, and Suzumiya-san later."

     Taniguchi's eyebrows rose.  "Oh?" he wondered.  "Say -- I don't
suppose that means I could have a date with Asahina-san too, if I joined
that club?  It would be dealing with Suzumiya, but it could be worth it!"

     "Oh, my, that doesn't sound very proper," Asakura Ryouko chided us
suddenly, unexpectedly joining the conversation.

     Taniguchi perked up slightly, distracted from me by the class rep's
presence.

     "What's this club about that you're spending so much time alone with
different girls, Kyon-kun?" she wondered, touching a fingertip to her lower
lip, her expression creased with thoughtful concern.

     "Ah, you didn't see the fliers that she and Asahina-san were handing
out, class rep Asakura?" Kunikida asked, smiling softly.  "They were quite
fantastic!"

     I elected to quietly eat my vegetables and not remark that I'd helped
churn those fliers out.

     "It's not anything that goes against our regulations or policies, is
it?" she wondered.

     Taniguchi snorted, shaking his head.  "I doubt it," he answered around
a mouthful of his rice.  Swallowing, he continued, "Just pointless Suzumiya
stuff -- looking for aliens, evidence of ghosts, saying she's running some
agency to solve mysteries and so on."

     "I doubt that would be 'improper' in most senses," Kunikida agreed.
 "Fantastic, perhaps, but Kyon isn't one to do improper things from what I
know of him!"

     I had to take some small consolation in that, and inclined my head to
my classmate from middle school in gratitude for the compliment.

     "Hmm," Asakura Ryouko mused, looking suddenly very intently
thoughtful.  "Is that so?"

     Not wanting to bring attention to myself more than necessary, I merely
shrugged.

     For reasons I could not understand at the time, Asakura Ryouko's lips
twisted in a smile.  While it entranced Taniguchi, and even Kunikida smiled
back, it felt to me a bit _too_ happy.

     "I see," she said, giggling.  "Well!  I'll leave you alone to enjoy
your lunch then, boys."

     "You can join us," Taniguchi said quickly, gesturing to the nearest
empty seat.

     Asakura Ryouko shook her head a slight distance and answered, "I'll
have to decline, but thank you for the offer anyway."

     With that, she walked away, while Taniguchi sighed, and Kunikida
offered an amused shrug.

     ***

     The club meeting that afternoon was subdued and relaxed.  Pleasant
company, all told.  I didn't know where Suzumiya had found it, but she'd
put an electric kettle in, and spent the first half of the club meeting
teaching Asahina-san how to use it to make tea.  The upperclassman
surprised me by not actually knowing how to do it ... but I had to admit,
there were some nuances to the process I didn't know myself.

     Once she learned how, the upperclassman eagerly parceled out hot tea
to everyone in their own cups--  Suzumiya had assembled a collection of
five, though there were only four of us.  A somewhat unlucky number.

     I couldn't help but note that each of the cups was remarkably
different, but couldn't complain about the one that I was given -- an older
ceramic handmade vessel, in the wabi-sabi style.  It wasn't an old piece,
from what I could tell, just something she had dragged up from a box of old
things somewhere in her home.  I, for one, appreciated the aesthetic of
'imperfect beauty' that the style carried with it.

     Asahina-san sat down to join us at the clubroom's table after she'd
prepared it, Suzumiya looking particularly proud of imparting the
instruction to her.

     "Now, Mikuru-chan, what do you think about taking the responsibility
within the club for making tea every day?" she asked.

     "Oh, I wouldn't mind!" the older girl answered without hesitation.
 After beaming a smile, she looked thoughtful, tilting her head back and
gazing at the ceiling.  "Though, I wonder if I'll be any good at it?"

     "I think it's nice," I answered quickly.  Even if Suzumiya were
responsible for most of the work, she had done quite well for her first
attempt!

     "Then what are your thoughts on a uniform befitting such a station?"
Suzumiya answered excitedly.  "I've been thinking that it would be fun~!
 Actually, if I were to bring it in, I might wear it myself!"

     I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at this.  "What did you have in
mind?" I wondered.  "If not the school uniform, anyway."

     "A cute girl serving tea?  What could be more appropriate than a
stewardess?" Suzumiya posed, as though waiting for my question.  "Think
about it!  Even aliens on an interstellar voyage would have to pause at
seeing someone as cute as Mikuru-chan in the outfit of a stewardess!"

     "I don't really know what that looks like," Asahina-san admitted,
smiling.  "Um, but I ... suppose that wouldn't be a problem?"

     "How can you not know?" Suzumiya asked in surprise.  "It's a very
glamorous role!  Very well -- I'm almost done making the outfit, so
tomorrow I'll bring it in and you can try it on!"

     "Eh?" Asahina-san squeaked, her smile fading a bit.  "H...here?"

     "Of course!" Suzumiya said, nodding firmly.  "It's fine -- it's just
us, for now.  We'll close the curtains and Kyon will guard the door!"  She
punctuated her remark with a warning glance at me.

     Well....  "Of course," I agreed.  "But, Suzumiya-san, if you're going
to be wearing it as well, why not model it first, so she can see what it
is?"

     For the merest heartbeat, Suzumiya looked irritated at the suggestion,
before she brightened.  "You know, that sounds fine!" she said happily.
 "Why wouldn't I?  Of course--  You're still going to have to stand outside
and guard the door while I change, though!"

     That ... seemed more than fair.

     "Of course, you'll be getting a bit of a treat, and don't have to
dress up," Suzumiya mused quietly.  "Well, perhaps as a penalty you would
have to wear it!"

     My expression alone conveyed my thoughts on that, but she merely
smirked in response.

     "Okay, I'll be headed out early to finish that, then," she decided,
nodding.  "In the meantime, you brought that book with you, right, Kyon?"

     "Yes," I allowed.

     She nodded and held out a hand expectantly.  "You said you read the
first few chapters, so let me borrow it.  Tomorrow, I'll test you to make
sure you've been paying attention!"

     My thought was that she'd better not get me a penalty on my brand new
library card, but I bit my tongue and handed the book over.  She flipped it
into the air and caught it by the spine casually before stuffing it into
her bag and nodding happily.

     "And with that, you're dismissed!" she declared, nodding brightly
before heading out the door with a spring in her step, humming to herself.
 It took me a moment to place the tune as Davie Bowie's 'Starman,' but I
realized I shouldn't really be surprised.

     Asahina-san beamed me a smile.  "Would you like some more tea,
Kyon-kun?"

     I did have some time before clubs officially let out and I could meet
... whoever had sent me that note wanted until then anyway, so why not?
 "If you don't mind," I said agreeably, glancing over to where Nagato
seemed to be nestled in her own aura of contentment, holding a book in one
hand, and her cup of tea in the other.

     Wasn't that a perfect day at the club?  Everyone working together
reasonably, and getting to enjoy company like that?

     I wished that my school life could continue like that forever.

     --------------------------------------------------

-- 
Brian Randall
--
Yrne awaits those with the courage to seek it.
--
I write fanfiction. Too much of it. You can read it here, on my terrible
webpage:
http://www.soulriders.net/brian/
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