[FFML] [Sailormoon] Moonshadow, chapter 22
Bert Miller
hkmiller at theeddy.com
Sat Jan 15 21:15:46 PST 2011
On 1/12/2011 2:16 PM, Mythril Moth wrote:
>
> And just like that, another chapter.
Quick. Very quick. And very enjoyable, as always.
> "It's been a while, Tuxedo Kamen."
>
> The thief found himself surrounded by all *five* Sailor Senshi. He
> swallowed nervously.
Heh. Sucks to be Tux-chan.
> "Everybody, get down...NOW!" Serenity commanded. Without waiting for
> the others to comply, she jumped on top of Tuxedo Kamen's head and
> started spinning rapidly on one toe.
And Tux doesn't feel that? No grunts or complaints?
> Bleeding heavily, Zoicite could do little but brace himself as
> Serenity's most powerful attack slammed into...
>
> ...a large, glowing white shield.
>
> "Well met, Senshi," a deep voice they had never heard before intoned.
> "And human," the voice added a moment later. "We shall withdraw. For
> now. Come, brother."
>
> The glowing shield faded; the Senshi caught a glimpse of a fan of long
> white hair, then the roof was still and silent, the thick splatters of
> dark grey-green blood the only sign Zoicite had ever been there.
Your descriptions of the senshi and their alter-egos suggest that the
live-action is a significant inspiration for you, but you're sticking
strictly to the anime versions of the Shitennou, as far as I've
noticed. Presumably this is because the live-action version of the
Shitennou aren't very interesting or memorable visually.
> Jadeite sighed. "I'm beginning to think we're in trouble," he admitted.
>
> "We must find the Ginzuishou quickly," Kunzite said. "And we must
> attempt to restore our mana link to Earth. Without that power..."
>
> "Alas, twould seem unlikely," Nephrite lamented, stroking his chin.
> "Our power was granted by the Scion of Earth.
Ergo a motive for kidnapping and brainwashing Tux-boy ...
> "But was not our ward of old the soulmate of the Moon PrincesS?"
> Nephrite pointed out. "Queen Serenity was many things, but cruel did
> not number amongst her traits."
Wow, an actual typo to point out: last 's' in 'Princess' capitalized above.
Also, this just makes the Shitennous' motive for switching sides even
more mysterious. There was some quick mention of Queen Serenity as a
"jailer" at some point previously; hopefully you plan to give us more
info later on?
> "Very well," Kunzite agreed. "But no more half-measures. The Senshi
> must be given no quarter. I will devise a strategy,
It is during Kunzite's first devised trap, in the anime, that Sailor
Moon and Tux-boy learn each others' identities, and the ginzuishou appears.
> His head began to throb. He staggered, catching himself against a
> wall. With his free hand, he clutched at his aching head, knocking his
> mask askew.
Interesting. Who might enter his apartment during this interval?
> to the press. In this statement, the police request that the Sailor
> Senshi identified as Sailor Mercury submit to questioning in this
> incident...//
I like it.
> "Too long it has been since last we met, Duke Artemis," Nephrite
> greeted cordially. "Or should I call thee Duke Bal--"
>
> "Say that name and you burn, Arcanian filth," Artemis snapped.
>
> "Yes, of course, long has it been since you renounced all ties to this
> world. And yet, are your ties to the fallen empire of Serenity so
> strong, milord?"
Interesting hints about Artemis' background. The phrase "Arcanian
filth" suggests that Artemis wasn't Arcanian when he lived on Earth way
back when. Perhaps, like Beryl, he had a grudge against the Arcanians?
> "Excuse me."
>
> "Yes," the desk sergeant replied in a bored tone, not pausing in
> paperwork for nearly a full minute before looking up. "How can I help
> yAAAA!" He nearly fell backwards; his chair rolled a good third of a
> metre from his desk. He pointed with a shaking, trembling hand.
> "You're...!!"
>
> A chorus of murmurs arose at the commotion, growing in volume as other
> officers and staff saw what had startled the sergeant.
>
> Sailor Mercury stood primly before the desk, hands clasped in front of
> her. She bowed. "Mercury. I am here, as requested, to give a statement
> regarding the Saegusa incident."
Heh.
> "Setting aside the fact that you hardly require the aid of the Senshi
> to defeat us in our weakened state, and indeed could easily destroy
> Queen Beryl and her demon hordes with no appreciable effort," the
> Shitennou paused to breathe deeply, wincing slightly. "I must know why
> you chose to imbue the reincarnated Princess with the power of Senshi."
Interesting appraisal of Artemis' power. If true, what is Artemis' real
motive? To obtain the ginzuishou for himself, perhaps?
> Artemis frowned. "That was not my doing," he admitted. "I honestly
> don't understand why Serenity has manifested a Senshi form. Only a
> mana link should..." He trailed off. "Not that it especially matters."
>
> Nephrite closed his eyes. "I see," he chuckled ruefully. "Then our
> quest is, as I feared, folly. The Ginzuishou no longer exists, and
> without His Highness, we cannot reclaim the glorious power of the
> Earth..."
>
> Artemis snorted. "The Ginzuishou still exists, I assure you."
>
> The eyes of the defeated Shitennou snapped open, suddenly sharp and
> focussed. "You are certain of this?"
>
> "I wouldn't have bothered Awakening Princess Serenity if I weren't,"
> the mage replied. He smirked. "I know far more about Lunar lore than
> you could ever hope to know."
Interesting. Artemis trails off as he realizes something, possibly
where the ginzuishou is. Artemis has some reason external to the senshi
for believing the ginzuishou still exists (to my mind this suggests the
possibility that the ginzuishou is still supporting, magically, some
other observable phenomenom which the Shitennou don't know is being so
supported; and this further suggests that Bad Things might happen if the
ginzuishou were to be compromised). Artemis seems to actually state
outright that his real objective in awakening Serenity (and presumably
the senshi) is the ginzuishou.
> teeth. "I can't believe I let that bastard trick me..."
So there are limits to how much Artemis knows. It might, however, be
prudent of Nephrite to stay away from Earth for a while...
> He could almost hear the man on the other end blink. //It's almost
> nine. Are you--?//
>
> *Shit, I slept all day?* "I guess I was working too hard last night,"
> he said. "I'm fine. Sorry to have worried you."
>
> //If you're sure...//
>
> "It won't happen again," Mamoru assured his classmate. "Could you
> e-mail me the notes from today?"
>
> //Of course.//
>
> "Thanks." After Mamoru hung up, he realised he was still dressed as
> Tuxedo Kamen.
You interweave the Mamoru-oversleeping-while-dressed-as-Tuxboy episode
with Ami oversleeping. The latter has the result you end on, Ami's
mother's discovery. Mamoru slept far longer. Who has a key to his
apartment and could have found out? Might Makoto have been sent over by
Mamoru's parents? You spend enough words on Mamoru's slip to convince
me that there must be SOME consequence.
> //--today appeared for questioning, as requested, in the Saegusa
> Toshiro murder incident. Sailor Mercury admitted responsibility,
> claiming she was protecting a female student from assault--//
>
> Sayoko's eyes widened.
>
> Mercury.
>
> "No...it couldn't be..."
>
> And suddenly, many things clicked in her mind.
>
> Her daughter's sudden, seemingly random changes in study habits. The
> appearance of friends out of thin air. The discarded, damaged seifuku
> Ami had so very carefully hidden before throwing it away.
>
>
> The murdered teacher. The Senshi.
>
> And a freezing cold blue bracelet, engraved with the symbol for Mercury.
>
> Sayoko ran back into the living room and stared at her sleeping
> daughter's peaceful face, horror dawning.
>
> *Ami-chan...you couldn't be...*
>
> The Mercury Ring glittered tauntingly up at her, as though amused.
Heh. Effective way to end a chapter. For some reason Ami's mother or
Usagi's mother seem to be the most common foci for stories about a
parent finding out. Biles focused most of "Sailor Moon Z" 21 on Ami's
mother finding out Ami's identity; the author of "Millenials" strongly
hinted that Amii's mother knows or suspects. It'll be interesting to
see another slant on this.
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