[FFML] [fanfic][Yotsuba&!/Pretty Neighbor][lime] Jumbo & Inner Beauty

[Mythril Moth]

AUTHOR'S FOREWORD:

Before we commence with this chapter, there's something that has bothered 
me--I have not received any e-mails complaining of this, but it has been 
bugging me that some readers MIGHT misconstrue something, and I just want to 
get it taken care of right now.

This is in no way, shape, or form an Asagi hatefic. I don't dislike canon 
Asagi. There's not really any particular reason to like OR dislike her. 
She's just there.

But see, this isn't canon Asagi. This is Pretty Neighbor Asagi. And in 
Pretty Neighbor, Asagi is a complete monster bitch. So that's why in this 
story, Asagi is a complete monster bitch.

Okay, so now that's out of the way. On with the fun! (For those who have 
lost count, this is chapter 4.)

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JUMBO & INNER BEAUTY

by Mythril Moth

based on Yotsuba&! by Azuma Kiyohiko

subsequently based on the "Pretty Neighbor" Yotsuba& doujinshi series

no permission asked or given

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Dusk had finally fallen on the longest, hottest day of the summer. Jumbo had 
come to Koiwai's house for dinner, and had brought beer; currently, he, 
Koiwai, and Fuuka were drinking while Yotsuba slept in the TV room.

"You sure you can handle that, Fuuka-chan?" Jumbo asked.

Fuuka snorted. "Che, like a little beer's gonna be a problem for me after 
all the shit I've put up with lately."

Koiwai cleared his throat pointedly; Jumbo's brow furrowed slightly.

"Ah, I just mean that brat Miura turnin' everything upside-down," Fuuka 
clarified. "Yeah, that's what I meant."

Koiwai raised an eyebrow. "What's that about Miura?" he asked.

"I didn't tell you?" Fuuka replied, taking a sip of beer. "She came outta 
the closet, and turned Ena-chan gay right along with her."

"Eh?!" Koiwai exclaimed. "You're joking, right?"

"She's not," Jumbo said. "Hell, I was there the day Miura confessed." He 
paused. "Well, I left before the actual confession, I didn't want to intrude 
on their moment, but I knew what Miura was up to." He chugged half his beer 
in one go. "So Ena-chan said yes?"

"Yep," Fuuka nodded. "And now that bratty thing that's barely a girl in the 
first place is probably doing God only knows what to Ena-chan when they're 
off alone together."

"Oi oi, Miura's not like that," Jumbo argued.

"You didn't hear the shit she said about my boobs," Fuuka retorted. "She's 
trouble, that one."

Koiwai raised an eyebrow. "Okay, so how does Miura commenting on your body 
connect to Miura doing perverted stuff to Ena? Because I don't see it."

"It doesn't," Jumbo snorted. "Fuuka-chan's just being petty."

"Am not," Fuuka replied sullenly.

"Not a very nice drunk, is she?" Koiwai mused with a smirk.

"Bite me," Fuuka replied. "Oh wait, you already d--"

"*AHEM*," Koiwai cut across her loudly. "So, Jumbo, about this thing with 
Miura?"

"Yeah, that day..." Jumbo trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. "I found 
Miura in the park and she was really depressed. Seems she'd tried to confess 
to Ena a few days earlier, but Ena ran off. Miura thought Ena hated her." He 
smiled. "But it turns out it was all a misunderstanding. Ena had other stuff 
on her mind and didn't even hear Miura trying to confess to her."

"Other stuff, huh?" Koiwai repeated, sipping his beer.

Fuuka hiccuped. "Hey, would that've been around maybe Thursday or--was it 
Thursday?" She counted on her fingers. "Ah, whenever it was, it was around 
the end of last week."

"What, the day I talked to Miura? No, that was Monday."

"No, no," Fuuka said dismissively, waving a hand through the air. "I mean 
the first time she tried."

Jumbo shrugged. "No idea."

"'Cause that's when Oneechan pulled that stupid sh--"

"*AHEM*," Koiwai coughed loudly again, banging a hand on the table as he did 
so.

"Are you okay, Koiwai?" Jumbo asked, arching an eyebrow.

Fuuka laughed. "Ah, this is his pathetic attempt to get me to shut up about 
sex stuff," she said, raising her beer. "Nice try. Kanpai!"

Koiwai's face slammed into the table.

Jumbo stiffened in his chair. "Wh...a...a...t?" he asked slowly.

"Jeez, how the hell do you not know already, anyway?" Fuuka slurred, 
laughing. "God, even Ena-chan knows!"

Koiwai looked up sharply. "ENA knows?! How the hell does Ena know?!"

"You never lock the fuckin' door, dumbass," Fuuka said, hiccuping again. 
"She just walked right on in and saw."

"Shit," Koiwai spat. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Cuz I was pissed at you," Fuuka replied. "And I thought you KNEW she saw 
you with Oneechan..."

The table broke in half, and Jumbo's chair shattered against the wall.

"WHAT."

"Ah shit, I prolly shouldn'ta said that," Fuuka said. "Sorry, Jumbo-san. 
Just forget you heard that, okay?"

Koiwai smacked his forehead into an open palm. "Yeah, never letting you 
drink again. Ever."

Jumbo loomed angrily over Koiwai. "EXPLAIN. NOW."

"Ah...that's...ah..."

"Don't blame him, he can't help it if he thihks with his dick," Fuuka said. 
"Oneechan started it, anyway."

Jumbo dropped heavily to the floor, face white as a sheet. "Sh--wh--huh?!"

Koiwai cleared his throat. "Um...Asagi threatened to tell her parents about 
my relationship with Fuuka-chan unless I had sex with her."

Jumbo's head turned very slowly towards Koiwai. 
"W...h...a...a...a...a...t...?...!"

"Yep, that's what happened," Fuuka agreed. "She just did it to piss me off."

Jumbo's face cracked like a stone. "Asagi-san...did something like that..."

Koiwai patted the crestfallen giant on the shoulder. "She's only prettier 
than Fuuka on the outside, man."

"HEY!" Fuuka interjected. She paused. "Wait, was that a compliment or an 
insult?" She shrugged. "Doesn't matter, no pussy for you tonight."

Jumbo turned his head slowly from Koiwai, to Fuuka, then back. "And um...I 
gather you two are..."

Koiwai nodded.

"And how long has THAT been going on?"

"Hmm...three, maybe four weeks?" Koiwai guessed. "I can't keep track."

"Long enough, anyway," Fuuka said.

Jumbo took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. "Please tell me I'm not 
really hearing this. Tell me I'm gonna wake up and none of this was real."

"Seriously, how dumb ARE you?" Fuuka asked, rocking back and forth. "I 
seriously thought the only person who didn't know about all this was 
Yotsuba-chan, and that's only because she wouldn't understand it even if she 
did!"

"She doesn't, though, right? Right? RIGHT?" Jumbo roared in a panic.

"Of course not," Koiwai said. "You really think I'm going to do stuff like 
that in front of a five year old?"

"Why not, you did it in front of a ten year old," Fuuka muttered. "Urp...I 
don't feel so good. 'm gonna lie down." With that, she listed to one side 
and was already asleep by the time she hit the floor.

Koiwai and Jumbo stared at her for a long moment.

"Yeah, definitely never letting her have alcohol again ever," Koiwai 
declared.

A meaty hand suddenly clamped itself around his shoulder like a vise.

"Walk with me, Koiwai," Jumbo rumbled, hauling Koiwai off the floor and not 
as much dragging as carrying him outside.

---------------------------------

"The hell's your problem?" Koiwai asked. "Everything that's going on is 
purely consentual." He smirked. "And didn't you even think Fuuka-chan was my 
new girlfriend the first time you met her?"

Jumbo's face may as well have been carved in stone. "Married adults have 
sex," he said. "Not grown men and teenage girls."

"What country do you think you're in again?"

"ENOUGH," Jumbo roared, slamming a fist on the property wall. "I thought you 
were a better man than this, Koiwai. This is...this is...INEXCUSABLE!"

"You don't even know what the hell you're talking about, man," Koiwai 
replied, rolling his eyes. "Look, that bullshit Asagi pulled on me aside, 
it's just me and Fuuka, and it's ALWAYS just gonna be me and Fuuka."

"Do you even love her?" Jumbo asked.

"I--" Koiwai paused, scratching his nose. "She's part of me, man. I dunno 
how or when that happened, and I don't tell her I feel that way because I'm 
embarassed about it, but..." He sighed. "I can't live without her. I don't 
just mean the sex, I..."

"So are you going to marry her?"

"Wasn't planning on it," Koiwai said absently.

Jumbo seized him by the shoulders and faced him directly, with an intense, 
burning gaze. "Plan on it. Real goddamn soon. Or I'll kill you."

Koiwai swallowed. "Uh...yeah, got it."

Jumbo released him, then sighed. "I can't believe what she said about 
Asagi-san. It just can't be true."

Koiwai sighed. "She's bad road, man. I mean, she fucked me just to wreck my 
relationship with Fuuka and I'm still not even sure WHY she did that. She 
damn sure didn't do it because she wanted me for herself."

Jumbo sighed heavily. "I think I'm gonna go home," he said. "I need to be 
alone right now."

"You good to drive?"

"Yeah." Jumbo paused, and held up three fingers on one massive hand. "Three 
days, Koiwai. If there's no ring on Fuuka's finger by then, there's gonna be 
pieces of you all over town."

Koiwai gulped. "Damn, you're scary when you're mad."

"Don't ever forget it." Waving, he headed for his truck.

Watching Jumbo drive away, Koiwai blew upward on his stringy bangs. 
"Marriage, huh...?"

---------------------------------

Yotsuba sat attentively beside the futon on which Fuuka slept. A tray sat 
beside her, with a pitcher of ice water, a glass, and some aspirin, as well 
as a dish for wetting a cloth which the small child was periodically 
applying to Fuuka's forehead as per instructions.

"Now, Yotsuba-chan, this is important," Daddy had said. "When Fuuka-chan 
wakes up, she is going to have a really really bad headache and she is going 
to be very, very sick. So don't talk above a whisper, and keep the lights 
turned down in here, and once she wakes up, give her some water and 
aspirin."

"Roger!" Yotsuba had replied seriously, saluting like she saw soldiers do on 
television.

"Nnnn...." Fuuka groaned. Her eyes fluttered, and she reached up to her 
forehead. "Ugh..." She started to sit up.

"Don't sit up, Fuuka," Yotsuba whispered. "You can't sit up yet."

"Huh? Yotsuba..." Fuuka grimaced at the hoarseness of her own voice. She 
tried to see Yotsuba, but all she could see was a bright green blob. "Ah 
shit, I can't see..."

"Daddy said you'd be pretty sick when you woke up," Yotsuba whispered. Fuuka 
felt something small pressed into her hand, and heard the sound of pouring 
water. "Swallow those," the child instructed.

Fuuka did so, then gingerly levered herself up off the futon, wincing at the 
stab of pain that spiked through her head.

"I told you, don't sit up," Yotsuba whispered.

"Yeah, bad idea," Fuuka agreed. "But I'm up now." Finishing the glass of 
water, she blinked her eyes a few times; things were starting to come 
slightly into focus, but it hurt to actually look at anything. "Oh god, what 
the hell's wrong with me?"

"Daddy said it was, um..." Yotsuba paused. "Something about hanging..."

"A hangover?"

"Yeah, that."

Fuuka groaned. "So this is what a hangover feels like..." She rubbed her 
forehead and winced. "Okay, I'm never drinking beer again ever. This shit 
isn't worth it." She looked around. "Where's your daddy?"

"Huh? Where's Daddy?" Yotsuba echoed, blinking. "Um..oh yeah, he said he had 
to go out and buy something."

"What was he gonna buy?" Fuuka asked hoarsely.

"Um...what was it..." Yotsuba scratched her head, an adorable expression of 
puzzlement on her face. "Rin...ringo...ringo? Ah! I guess he wanted to buy 
apples," she decided.

"Apples," Fuuka echoed. She winced. "Wonderful. Scuse me, I gotta go puke."

---------------------------------

"Welcome!" Jumbo greeted as the door to the flower shop opened.

Miura and Ena walked in, looking around in mild bewilderment.

"Ah, my two cutest little customers!" Jumbo boomed jovially.

"Wow, he really IS a florist," Miura said. "I thought someone was joking 
with you."

"Buy some flowers for your pretty girlfriend?" Jumbo asked Miura.

Ena giggled. Miura arched an eyebrow. "Hey, what is this? *I* can't be the 
pretty girlfriend?"

"Well, you're more dashing and gallant," Jumbo replied with a grin.

Miura smirked. "Okay, I'll swallow that one." She looked around the shop. "I 
don't know nothin' about flowers, though. Pick somethin', Ena-chan."

While Ena made a show of looking at every pretty flower near the counter, 
Miura asked in a quiet voice, "Okay, what's up? Why'd you call us down 
here?"

"I need to ask Ena-chan about some things," Jumbo whispered. "But not here, 
not right now. I just wanted to set up a meeting."

Miura arched an eyebrow. "What, are we yakuza now? Or Mafia? Do I look like 
a Don?"

"I'm serious, Miura!" Jumbo hissed. "I need to talk to you two someplace 
nobody will hear, especially not anybody either of you actually know."

Ena leaned in and whispered, "What's this about, Jumbo-san?"

"It's about stuff that's been going on with two certain sisters," Jumbo 
replied. "And a few things I heard that I need cleared up for my own peace 
of mind."

Jumbo's father abruptly appeared behind the counter. "You know, Takashi, if 
you need to have a private conversation with your little friends, I can just 
close the shop for an hour or two and go grab lunch."

The two girls and Jumbo were all startled by his sudden appearance. 
"Ahh...thanks, Oyaji, that'd be great."

"So much for clandestine yakuza war councils," Miura quipped.

Ena sighed. "Okay, I'm guessing what you really wanna ask me is about 
Asagi-oneechan, right?"

"Yeah," Jumbo replied, far more subdued than the two girls were accustomed 
to seeing him.

"I kinda need to know what you already know before I know what I need to 
tell you," Ena said.

Jumbo took a deep breath, and repeated every drunken admission and reluctant 
confirmation he'd heard the previous night.

"Damn, she didn't miss a trick," Miura said, blinking. "How drunk WAS she?"

"Nevermind that," Ena said. She faced Jumbo directly, and with a sad, 
pitying expression, she bluntly stated, "Asagi-oneechan is a cold, 
heartless, manipulative bitch, and absolutely nobody decent should ever get 
involved with her or trust her. Ever."

Jumbo's face fell. "That's harsh."

"That's truth," Miura said, face clouded with anger.

Jumbo eyed the short-haired girl. "Okay, what exactly did she do to YOU?" he 
asked. "I only know about the stuff with Koiwai and Fuuka and Asagi-san..."

Miura jerked back, eyes wide. "Ah...no, that's...!!" She waved her hands in 
denial. "I just think she sucks is all, yeah!"

"No, that's not all," Jumbo countered. "That look you had just now. You 
looked like you want to kill her."

"I just don't like bitchy people," Miura tried lamely. Ena sighed.

"Nice try. Want to go for one more, or tell me what she did?"

Miura bowed her head and turned away. "I can't tell you. I *won't* tell you. 
In the first place, it isn't my place to say. Even if it was...no. Nobody 
new knows. Nobody." She glanced at Ena, fierce, protective fire in her eyes.

Ena sighed. "Asagi-oneechan molested me. In front of Koiwai-san."

Miura gave a strangled gasp. "AHOU! I SAID *NOBODY NEW KNOWS*!"

"And it's MY SECRET, MY DECISION!" Ena retorted. "I know you want to protect 
me, but you have to trust me too, okay?"

Miura seemed ready to shout an angry denial, but relented, clenching her 
fists at her side and looking down.

Jumbo, for his part, had frozen in place. There was no movement, not even 
breathing.

"Great. You broke him."

Jumbo sat down heavily, shaking like a leaf. "She did what?" he asked 
hoarsely.

"Don't ask her to repeat it," Miura warned.

Ena drew a shuddering breath. "It was just part of that scheme to get him 
riled up and use him against Fuuka-oneechan," she said. "She knew I was 
confused and vulnerable and she used that."

"She--in front of--" Jumbo mumbled. "--what was his part in this?"

"I fainted from sunstroke and he carried me home. He just happened to be 
sitting there waiting to see if I was okay." Ena fixed Jumbo with a steady, 
iron gaze. "He was not involved in what Asagi-oneechan did to me."

"But he was THERE, he could've stopped it--"

"By that point, he probably figured out what Asagi-oneechan would've done if 
he had. It would not have been pretty."

"...oh," Jumbo said quietly. He paused, looking from one girl to the other. 
"Ena-san," he said stiffly and formally, "Are you absolutely, one hundred 
percent certain, beyond any doubt--"

"I have not been molested in any way by Koiwai-san," Ena said in a firm, 
final tone of voice. "Asagi-oneechan is evil. Koiwai-san is not."

Jumbo let out a sigh of relief. "Okay. Good. That's...I'm glad." He took off 
his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "So Miura, your whole reason 
for hating Asagi-san is what she did to Ena?"

"Isn't it reason enough?" Miura asked coldly.

"Yeah, it is," Jumbo agreed.

"Jumbo-san," Ena said suddenly, her eyes moist and sad. "I know...you've had 
a crush on Asagi-oneechan since you first saw her. But please...I beg 
you...don't let her in. Keep her as far away from you as possible. Because 
she will use you, and she will destroy you, and she will not care."

Jumbo looked down, face expressionless. "Yeah, I...yeah. Thank you, 
Ena-san."

Ena blew on her bangs. "Mou, Jumbo-san, drop the 'Ena-san' stuff. You're 
weirding me out now."

Miura chuckled, and immediately the tense, somber mood was broken.

Jumbo stood up. "Well then, Ena-*chan*, Miura-*kun*--"

"Why am I a -kun?!"

"--I've got to start working on flower arrangements for a wedding, so I'd 
better open the shop back up, and you two probably have better things to do, 
ne?"

"Ooh, a wedding? I love wedding flowers, they're so pretty!" Ena said, 
clapping her hands.

"Well, I'm not actually arranging the flowers yet, I'm just more or less 
thinking about what to offer the happy couple as soon as I find out when the 
wedding will be."

"I thought wedding planners usually handled that stuff?" Miura asked.

"Well, this is for close friends, so--"

"Oh? Who?" Ena asked. "Anyone we know?"

"As a matter of fact," Jumbo said with a smug grin, "Fuuka-chan and Koiwai."

Ena's eyes doubled in size. "EEEEH?!"

"Whoa, he actually had the decency to ask?" Miura said, impressed.

"Mmm...sort of," Jumbo said.

"...what do you mean, 'sort of'?" Ena asked suspiciously.

"Well, how to put it..." Jumbo scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well, since 
Miura-chan mentioned the mafia earlier..." Smirking, he attempted an 
incredibly bad Brando impression. "I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

"What was that supposed to be?" Miura asked, pulling a sour face.

"Jumbo-san...what did you do?" Ena asked, her tone one of warning.

"I told Koiwai he has three days to put a ring on your sister's finger, or 
else."

"Or else?" Ena asked.

"Or Else," Jumbo repeated, drawing a finger across his throat for emphasis.

Ena sighed heavily. "I think that's going a little far, Jumbo-san..."

"Koiwai is a good man. He will do the right thing."

"I hope so," Miura said, hands in her pockets. "Cuz after the other day, I'm 
not so sure..."

"We'llbegoingnowJumbosanpleasebesuretokeepwhatwetoldyouasecretandIcan'twaittoseetheflowersfortheweddingbye!" 
Ena grabbed Miura and shot out the door before Jumbo could even parse what 
she'd said.

Shrugging, the florist went back to work.

---------------------------------

Standing on the front walk and stretching, Asagi noticed the dour-looking 
man with the bad blonde dye job standing in front of Koiwai's gate. 
"Hee-hee," she giggled to herself. She walked over to the property wall. 
Just before the visitor could ring the bell, she called out, "Koiwai-san is 
out right now."

"Ah, he is?" Yanda asked. He frowned. "So it's just the nasty brat at home 
right now, or did he take it with him?"

Asagi snickered. "No, I'm pretty sure Yotsuba-chan is home. But she isn't 
alone, you know."

"Hm?"

"Yeah." Asagi looked left and right, then made a come-hither motion. 
Curious, Yanda walked over to the connecting wall between the properties.

Asagi looked around again, then leaned close and whispered, "He's got him a 
sex slave locked up in there."

Yanda's eyes widened. "EEH?! Senpai has a--"

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm!" Asagi said, beaming.
"The poor pathetic thing, she has to do EVERYTHING he says. And I mean 
EVERYTHING," she waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"No shit?" Yanda asked, grinning. "I never would've thought--"

"I know, it surprised us too. And it's not just that, she's also pretty much 
his house slave too. Even feeds the kid when he's too busy to bother."

"Damn," Yanda said, shaking his head. "I gotta check this out."

"Careful, she's pretty nasty to anyone that isn't Koiwai-san," Asagi warned.

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks." Yanda waved casually, then headed over to the gate 
and, not even bothering with the bell, went in.

Asagi grinned. "This is gonna be fun."

---------------------------------

Koiwai walked out of the jewelry store scowling, a vein throbbing in his 
temple. *Shit, that stuff's expensive! I'd have to empty out my whole 
savings just for that...*

"Ah? Koiwai-san! Konnichiwa!"

Koiwai looked up, and twitched. *DAMMIT, WHY NOW OF ALL--* "Ayase-san! 
Konnichiwa."

Fuuka's mother smiled at him. "Out doing a little shopping?"

"Eh, something like--"

The door behind him opened. "Customer-san, I'm sorry, I forgot we had 
another selection in your price range, if you'd care to--"

Koiwai turned stiffly, eyelid twitching, to face the very helpful employee 
who was holding a plexiglass tray lined with glittering gold and silver 
rings.

"Yes, thank you, I'll look at them INSIDE," he emphasized, hoping Mrs. Ayase 
had not seen--

"Oh my goodness!" Mrs. Ayase exclaimed, clasping her hands to her chest. 
"Koiwai-san, are you getting engaged?"

*SHIT.*

"Ah, well..." Koiwai scratched the back of his head. "That's...what I'm 
hoping! I mean, you know, if everything...goes well?" He laughed weakly.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Mrs. Ayase exclaimed. "Yotsuba-chan needs a good 
mother. Who is she? Does she live around us? Do I know her? Is she pretty? 
Is--"

"Ahh, Ayase-san, I really need to--" Koiwai gestured at the shop door.

"Oh, of course! I'm sorry. Please, don't let me keep you! We can talk all 
about it later." Bowing, Mrs. Ayase walked off, beaming.

Koiwai slumped. *I am a dead man.*

---------------------------------

"Is someone at the door?" Fuuka wondered, looking up from where she was 
making Yotsuba's lunch. "Yotsuba-chan! Could you get the door please?"

She heard Yotsuba scamper to the door and open it...

...and then heard what could only be described as a feral battle cry.

"YANDA!!! GO AWAY!!!! DON'T COME IN HERE, YANDA!!! AAAAAAH!!!"

*What the hell...?*

Fuuka wiped her hands with a towel and started to head for the door, when a 
man with badly dyed blonde hair walked in, carrying Yotsuba by the collar of 
her shirt. Yotsuba was thrashing, hissing, and screaming.

"Pipe down, brat," the man said, plunking Yotsuba by the table in the living 
room.

"FUUKA! HE'S THE ENEMY! KILL HIM!" Yotsuba yelled.

"Excuse me," Fuuka asked the intruder, "Exactly who are you, and what 
business do you have barging into this house uninvited?"

"I'm Koiwai-senpai's kohai," the man said.

"YANDA! GO AWAY!" Yotsuba screamed again.

"So I gather you are called Yanda," Fuuka remarked.

"Ah, yeah."

"Well, Yanda-san...Koiwai-san is not home right now, and I was not 
instructed to allow uninvited guests to enter unannounced..."

"Eh, he won't mind if it's me," Yanda said, sitting down at the table. "I'll 
just wait--"

Fuuka's left eye twitched. "I'm sorry, Yanda-san, but I don't believe you 
will."

"Wow, that chick next door said you were nasty," Yanda commented. "Damn 
shame Senpai found himself one with such a rotten personality but such a hot 
set of tits--"

---------------------------------

Ena and Miura saw Asagi standing outside the house, watching the front door 
of the Koiwai house intently. They exchanged a look of mutual suspicion.

Before Ena could call out to her sister, however...

*CRASH!*

"The hell was that?!" Miura wondered.

The front door of Koiwai-san's house flew open, and a disshevelled blonde 
man was launched out of the door and clear over the gate, crashing into the 
property wall of the house across the street and slumping to the ground.

Yotsuba's head popped out of the door. "DON'T COME BACK, YANDA!!" she 
yelled, shaking a fist angrily.

Fuuka's head emerged above hers, eyes blazing with fury. "BURN IN HELL, 
YANDA!" she roared, extending a middle finger to the heap of jackass.

Asagi doubled over laughing, tears streaming out of her eyes. "Oh my GOD 
that was TOO FUNNY!!"

Ena glared at her. Miura growled.

Fuuka noticed Asagi laughing, and scowled. "Oneechan, did you have something 
to do with this--this total bastard?!" she called.

"Who, me?" Asagi asked innocently. "I have no idea who that person even was, 
but GRK!"

Fuuka blinked as Asagi suddenly disappeared.

What she could not see, due to the property wall, was Ena and Miura each 
grabbing one ankle and dragging Asagi into the house.

---------------------------------

The bell rang again, and Fuuka clenched her teeth. *If it's that...that 
THING again, or Oneechan, or--*

"Ena! Miura!" Yotsuba cried happily.

Fuuka let out a sigh of relief, and headed out to greet the younger girls.

"Hi, Oneechan," Ena greeted.

"Yo, Fuuka-neesan," Miura waved.

Both of them bowed. "Sorry we didn't get here in time to stop that from 
happening," they said in unison.

Fuuka blinked. "Eh?"

"If we'd gotten back home earlier, we coulda headed Asagi off before she 
sent that jerk over."

Yotsuba blinked. "Huh? Asagi-san told Yanda to come?"

"Ah...!"

"Oh, crap," Miura grimaced.

Fuuka squatted down beside the small child. "It's complicated, 
Yotsuba-chan," she said.

"Huh?" Yotsuba tilted her head. "I don't get it."

"Asagi-oneechan's the enemy now, Yotsuba-chan," Ena explained.

Yotsuba's head tilted further, her pupils constricting. "Huh? Asagi is...?"

"Yeah, totally. Worse than Yanda," Miura nodded.

Yotsuba's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "Asagi is...worse than 
Yanda?"

"Yeah, she's the final boss battle," Ena said.

"I don't know what that is!" Yotsuba exclaimed, giggling. "But you're all so 
funny today!" Laughing, she ran off into the house.

Fuuka, Ena, and Miura all sighed.

"This is getting way out of hand," Ena said.

"We should just kill her," Miura grunted.

"We can't do that, Miura-chan!"

"I know, it's just a thought..."

Fuuka stared at the younger girls in complete confusion. "Um...I know 
Oneechan has been a major pain lately, but...aren't you taking it a little 
too far?"

"Nope, it's war now," Miura said. "You'll understand one day."

"Oh...kay..." Fuuka blinked. "So, um...what happened to Oneechan just now, 
anyway?"

"We dragged her back inside the house," Ena said. "We duct-taped her to the 
toilet so it'll be at least a few hours before she can bother anyone again."

"You...duct-ta...you...WHAT?!" Fuuka exclaimed, staring at the younger 
girls, horrified.

Miura whipped a pair of sunglasses out of her pocket and put them on. "There 
are things happening in this world, in this town, that you cannot know. That 
you must not know. For to know is to be lost forever to the silent war. We 
are the warriors, but you will never know of our battle. This is our 
destiny."

Ena blinked. "...Miura-chan? What the hell was that?"

Miura shrugged. "I dunno. It just sounded cool."

Fuuka fell over. "Ahahaha...what..."

Ena rolled her eyes. "Come on, soldier girl, we've gotta set up for that 
other thing." The two girls left.

"Other thing...?" Fuuka wondered.

---------------------------------

"Daddy's home!" Yotsuba cheered, laughing.

"Hey, Yotsuba," Koiwai said. "Did you take good care of Fuuka-chan?"

"Uh-huh! Just like you said!" the child replied, saluting.

"Good girl." Koiwai looked up. "Ah, Fuuka-chan! Feeling better?"

"Yes," Fuuka said. "Um...I'm sorry for, you know, the trouble I caused." She 
bowed, blushing.

"Ah...don't worry about it," he said. "It's no real trouble."

"Did you get apples?" Yotsuba asked.

"Huh? Apples?" Koiwai blinked.

"You were gonna buy apples, right?"

Koiwai looked at Fuuka, who shrugged. He thought back to that morning, and 
understood. "Ah! You misunderstood me, Yotsuba. I didn't say anything about 
apples."

"Awww," Yotsuba pouted. "Then I'm gonna go play with Ena an' Miura! Bye!" 
She scampered out the front door.

"So what DID you go out to buy, then?" Fuuka asked. "You were gone an 
awfully long time."

"Ahh...ehh...well..." Koiwai scratched the back of his head. "Before that, 
did you have any trouble looking after the place today?"

"Well, let's see...there was the sexual harassment from Yanda-san, real 
charmer there, and I'm pretty sure Asagi had something to do with that, and 
my OTHER sister and her girlfriend duct-taped Asagi to a toilet over next 
door, apparently, and Miura-chan's gone completely insane and thinks she's 
some kind of secret soldier now, but other than that? No, today was pretty 
quiet."

Koiwai stared at her, blinking several times. "...what?"

"Don't ask me to repeat it," Fuuka said.

"Oh...kay..." Koiwai shrugged, and pulled something out of his pocket. "So 
uh, Fuuka-chan," he said.

"Yes?"

He tossed the thing he had pulled out of his pocket over to Fuuka. "So 
um...yeah."

"WHAT THE HELL WAS *THAT*?!" a voice, amplified and distorted by a 
megaphone, called out.

"THAT WAS PATHETIC! WHAT KIND OF SAD SACK ARE YOU?" a different, 
higher-pitched voice exclaimed.

"DO WE REALLY HAVE TO SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THIS?" the first voice returned.

Fuuka and Koiwai both blinked at each other, then turned to try to figure 
out whose voices they were hearing, and where they were coming from.

Yotsuba suddenly ran in, carrying one end of a large, streaming black silk 
curtain. Once she'd completely blocked off the genkan with it, she called 
out, "Ready here!"

"What the--?" Fuuka wondered.

"I have no idea...Yotsuba?" Koiwai asked.

"SHHH! Quiet, Daddy!" Yotsuba shushed, wearing her most serious shushing 
face.

The curtain suddenly dropped, revealing Miura, dressed in a shimmery 
lavender tuxedo with a flowing black cape and white domino mask, and Ena, 
dressed in a billowy white gown appointed with small pearls and golden 
ornaments, with her hair done up in twin buns and supporting a silver and 
diamond tiara.

Miura knelt, taking Ena's hand and thrusting out a single red rose. "Oh love 
of my life, my soulmate, my Princess, I beg you, accept me, swear to stay by 
my side forever, let me pledge my life and all that I have to you!"

She stood up and tossed aside the rose and the mask. "THAT'S how you do it, 
dumbass. Get it right!"

Fuuka blinked repeatedly. "Was that supposed to be a..." She looked down at 
the box Koiwai had tossed her, and opened it. Her eyes widened, and a faint 
blush tinged her cheeks.

Koiwai, Ena, Miura, and Yotsuba all waited to see what she would say, what 
she would do...

"Yeah, Miura-chan's right," Fuuka said, closing the box and tossing it back 
to Koiwai. "Do-over!"

Koiwai facefaulted. "Ahh...right, sorry."

---------------------------------

Fuuka stretched and yawned, turning down the covers on her bed.

Her own bed, in her own house...

She smiled.

Snug in her favorite pajamas, Fuuka slipped into bed, turning out the light 
and falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Even as she slept, a warm smile crept onto her face, put there by the cold, 
almost weightless, silver ring tied to a piece of string and nestled snugly 
between her breasts.




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Mythril Moth
www.mythrilmoth.net