[FFML] [SHnY] Taniguchi and Kunikida are dead, chapter four.

[Michael Clark]

Sorry, Henry.  I meant to read through this a bit earlier.

> "Sasaki-sister! Can you stay all day?"
>
> "Sorry, but I need to go to a school function with your brother."
>
> "Nice to see you, Sasaki, but what makes you think I'm going?"
>
> "You'd leave Misses Nagato and Asahina to Suzumiya for the day?"
>
> "You're skipping over Suou?"
>
> "Suzumiya doesn't seem to pay much attention to her."

I find this passage a bit confusing; while it's clear after some thought
who's speaking, it does take a bit of figuring.

> "Then you don't need the rest of us. Would you like to come with me to the
> library[,] Nagato?"

Comma suggested.

> "And who's got the money for this shopping trip? You can't expect me to
> pick up the tab for that too?"
>
> "I've been saving up my trust fund."

This line in particular isn't obvious in itself (without referencing the
next line) as to who's saying it.

> And so began a rather boring day of shopping for clothes. At least Asahina
> seemed to cheer up a bit. Suou would stand or sit next to me while the
> other four girls went to select things for Nagato. Suzumiya and Sasaki
> would always argue over the results, while Nagato would demand my opinion
> of how the outfits looked on her. Sasaki would occasionally ask Suou if
> she'd like to try something on, but never got a positive response back.

I think Nagato "demanding" an opinion is a bit strong.  Seeking it,
sure, but demanding gives her action a different connotation.

> "Where have you seen such a look before?"
>
> "In the mirror, every morning as I brush my hair. Good night." Sasaki
> smiled, bowed to me, turned, and walked into her house.

I'll tell you what, though:  this is a really good line to end on.  Way
to cut through to Kyon, Sasaki.

Generally, I like Koizumi and Tachibana's friendly/unfriendly rivalry,
but it felt like they were all too forthcoming with explaining to Kyon
what was going on.  Exposition is good, but the questions that come to
my mind, reading that passage--how does it serve their purposes to come
clean this way?  Not like it has to be a serious goal.  They're both in
a pretty good position to dick around with Kyon for the lulz, so to
speak.  All that said, I like the order vs. chaos dynamic, even if
Koizumi and Tachibana seem to be counting who's on their respective
sides a bit liberally.

Other than that, what I notice is that the pace of the story seems
quick.  That may be intended--I can see it going well with Kyon's style
of reacting to things as they come--but it also means he gets little
time to think, so he's back to Pinball Protagonist mode a bit.  Well,
aside from when he's giving Nagato a massage.  That was good fun.

Fujiwara next time?  Do we get to keep Taniguchi and Kunikda hanging?

-MC