[FFML] (fic) (DC Comics) Now Is The Time (G)

[Scott Jamison]

--- On Fri, 10/15/10, Gary Kleppe <gary at garykleppe.org> wrote:

> From: Gary Kleppe <gary at garykleppe.org>
> On the positive side, this accurately
> reproduced the flavor of silver age comics.
> 
> On the negative side, this accurately reproduced the flavor
> of silver age comics. :)
> 
     Thanks!

> Back then, characters like SG and BG didn't show a lot of
> personality. Like just about all the heroes back then, they
> got the job done but we never learned a lot about what
> motivates them to do what they do. And so with your story.
> Certainly it shouldn't be angsty, but it would help to get a
> sense of what the characters *feel* about what's happening.
> 
    As the deadline neared and I was struggling just to get to the end of the plotline, I had to discard a lot of the planned characterization--including a Kara flashback to Kryptonian civics, and a conversation between our heroines about their relationship with their mentors.  Will have to get that stuff back in for the revised version.

> I also felt that the narrative was a little thin. Case in
> point: "the sound of a time machine disappearing." Even if
> all time machines in the DC universe sound the same, which
> is unlikely, your reader still has no idea of what they
> sound like. If they make a periodic wheezy clanking sound
> that fades away when they leave and ends in a muted thump
> when they land, say so.

Yeah, that was a placeholder phrase that never got upgraded.
> 
> Here's hoping you are over the writer's block and will keep
> creating new stories for us to enjoy!

    No guarantees--this bit of fluff took over a month and even then suffered from deadline crunch.


Peace,
SKJAM!