[FFML] [Lime] Hideous and Herb
Henry Cobb
henry.cobb at gmail.com
Sat Nov 27 00:13:06 PST 2010
Any resemblance to an actual American cartoon series is purely hysterical.
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I came to with a fuzzy feeling in my head. I tried to raise my hand to my
head, but it didn't move. I looked down and saw I was strapped down to a
chair in our basement. I looked around and saw the obvious source of my
predicament, my arch enemies, my younger brothers, "Hideous and Herb. You
dweebs are going to be so busted when I tell Mom about this."
"And why would Mom believe anything you say Candi?" As usual Hideous spoke
while Herb remained his silent partner in crime.
"Look at all the gear you two have setup in our basement. There's no way
you can make it all vanish like that roller coaster or the tower you built
to the moon."
"Let's ignore where we'd get the money to build such a tower. Just answer
me this Candi, what kind of materials could we build a tower into space out
of?"
"Like Candi cares. Wait, Candi's name not Candi. Candi's name is... Why
is Candi speaking in the the..."
"Third person? We think it's cute. And what's wrong with Candi?"
"Candi is a stripper name."
"And what do you want to be when you grow up Candi?"
"Candi wants to be a stripper. No! Candi wants to be... What did you two
dweebs do to Candi?"
"We made some improvements. As usual it was a equal collaboration between
my electronics and Herb's botanical skills."
"Yeah. Candi's seen the kind of things you two do. How come you two
manage to never get busted?"
"The reason Mom never notices the things you see us do? Candi, you're the
girl who cried wolf, always blabbing about things that only you can see."
"You've been doing this to Candi for how long?"
"Years, and now that you're almost eighteen and have flunked out of the
college exams, guess what you'll be doing?"
"Mom will never agree to this."
"Oh, you'll be getting a job out of state with a company with a reputable
sounding name. We think Mom will be glad to see you go. You're always
shouting at her about things you've imagined we've done after all."
"Why isn't Candi shouting now for help?"
"Oh, you've been programed not to. But even if you manage to wriggle
around that your testimony won't be very convincing. After all, who did
this you?"
"Hideous and Herb."
"Are those our real names?"
"No. Candi's brothers are Hideous and Herb. Wait, that's wrong."
"If you can't even get that right then who will believe you. Come on Herb,
let''s untie Candi so she can practice dancing for her new career."
"Candi hates you two dweebs so much."
"Don't worry, we'll fix that. After all you'll need to wire us lots of
money so we can continue our experiments without our favorite test subject."
-HJC
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