[FFML] [fanfic][Sailormoon][dark] Moonshadow, chapter 17 (repost)

[Bert Miller]

I hadn't read any of this story (save maybe the first chapter; I have a 
dim memory) until now,
and I found myself unable to tear myself away from reading the whole thing.
Very good work, and I'm looking forward to more.


Mythril Moth wrote:
> Mina looked at the three girls in confusion. "Yakuza? I'm...sorry, I'm 
> afraid I don't know that term." She blushed sheepishly. "Sorry."
>   
This point stretches my suspension of disbelief more than a little; 
"yakuza" is one
of the dozen or so most familiar Japanese terms to Americans these days 
("ninja", "samurai", "geisha", "yakuza"),
I'd have thought. Granted, Minako isn't American, but still...

> "The problem is, Aritsuka is not likely to be directly involved in 
> Kino-shi's abduction," Rei explained as the girls waited for a train. "His 
> involvement with the yakuza is, at least so far as I know, mostly related to 
> influence brokerage."
>
> "A go-between for businessmen and corrupt politicians?" Usagi guessed.
>   
Intriguing comment for Usagi to make (as opposed to Ami); it shows 
political awareness.

> "That's definitely a problem. Hmmm..." After a momentary delay, Artemis 
> traced a glowing silver sigil in the air with his free hand. "Tell Princess 
> Serenity to hold out her hands and catch."
>   
Heh. I liked this, making the disguise pen appear in a remote location. 
And smart of Artemis to pick
Serenity, as he's told the girls he can find Serenity anywhere but not 
the other girls.

Still, he's going to blow it some day and find one of the other girls, 
and then the cat's out of the bag.

> "Thanks." The group turned and stalked off in that direction. The redhead 
> paused long enough to toss over her shoulder, "By the way. Call the police? 
> And I promise they'll be scraping your pussy off the ceiling."
>   
Heh. When Mina takes on a persona, she really takes one on.

> "And they'd have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for us meddling kids 
> and our--erm--really big cat," Mina had quipped in English. Makoto and Usagi 
> blinked at her in confusion; Rei and Ami, however, had scowled at her.
>
> "Inappropriate," Rei had chided. The blond had fallen silent after that.
>   
Heh. Yes, it was, but the combination is somewhat amusing. It does raise 
some questions about Ami
and Rei, however; they'd have to not just be fluent in English, but also 
know a specific American cartoon,
to find this inappropriate (as opposed to just pointless). Canonically 
(in the anime), Ami has fluent
but not idiomatic knowledge of English, and would be unlikely to have 
ever seen Scooby Doo.
And I'm still curious about why your version of Rei is so good at 
English; the canon version is as
bad as Makoto and Usagi.

> More pressing, though, was her concern for Makoto. The girl needed help, and 
> Usagi was damned if she'd let her keep doing the same horrible things to 
> support herself. There had to be some way...
>
> An idea came to her, and she reached for her phone, suddenly thankful for 
> her mother's insistence on adding a certain person's number to her 
> directory. One ring...two...
>
> //Moshi-moshi.//
>
> "Chiba-san? Tsukino Usagi desu..."
>   
Now this is really intriguing; I can't imagine what Usagi thinks Mamoru 
can do to help.