[FFML] [Kim Possible / Phineas and Ferb] Crossover, Crossover, Sing Me a Song

[John Biles]

*****************

Crossover, Crossover, Sing Me A Song

A Phineas and Ferb / Kim Possible Crossover

By John Biles

********************

	"I'm off to work," Lawrence Fletcher said, stretching, then kissing
his wife on the cheek.  "Candace, I need you to come help me unload
and sort my latest shipment."

	"But I was going to go see Jeremy at the Mall!," she protested.

	"Well, perhaps we could drop by for lunch," her father said.  "But I
need your help."

	She sighed.

	"Don't worry, Dad, we'll take good care of everything while you're
gone," Phineas said.

	Ferb nodded, mouth full of breakfast.

	"We have a practice session for our jazz trio, so I will be out,"
Linda Flynn, mother of the family, said.  "I called Stacy and she
agreed to babysit Phineas and Ferb."

	"Oh, she's cool," Phineas said, studying his cereal thoughtfully.

	She's a good friend but she's too weak to deal with these two,
Candace thought.  I will have to brief her carefully.

****************

	"If they try ANYTHING, you call me.  And then we must BUST them,"
Candace said to Stacy.

	"If they try anything, bust them, check," Stacy said.

	"I know it's easy to get seduced by the coolness, but if you have an
adventure without me, I will kill you."  Beat.  "I mean, if you don't
bust them for doing crazy things, I will cry!"

	"I hear and obey," Stacy said, laughing.

	"This day is going to suck so hard," Candace said.  "If you don't
bust them, there will be NOTHING but suck."  Unless we do get to see
Jeremy at the mall.  That would reduce the suck just a little.

	But not enough.  Pots and old chairs, here I come, YAY, she thought.

	NOT.

*************	

o/~ Doofenschmirtz Evil, Incorporated o/~

	o/~ You must be my unlucky star
	'cause my life sucks wherever you are
	I just think of you and randomly start to glow
	And I need your light
	'cause it gets dark at night o/~

	Perry the Platypus had yet to show up and fall into today's evil
trap, so Dr. Doofenschmirtz was practicing his routine for the talent
show at the next MadCon.  He was feeling pretty hopeful he might
qualify for second or third runnerup this time.

	And the star-inator orbitting his head was pulsing to the beat this
time, finally.  It was kind of soothing, really.

	He was woken out of the trance the star-inator had put him in when he
heard a female yelling "AAAAAAA," from the front door.  He ran to the
door.  "Hah!  This time I have...wait, Perry the Platypus doesn't
speak or scream like a woman."

	"Dad, it's ME!," his daughter Vanessa said.

	He carefully let her out of the net trap. "Sorry, I didn't know you
were coming over."

	"You didn't answer your phone and I want to go see a concert in
Springfield with my boyfriend this weekend and with Eric and Cynthia,"
she said.  "Mom said I had to get your approval."

	"Who's playing?" he asked.

	"Everyone Hates Ragnald," she said.

	"Oh god, I hate that little shit," Dr. Doofenschmirtz said, clenching
his hands into fists.  "Always whining in his songs about how the
world is dark and uncaring!  Dark and uncaring?  I'll show him..."

	"DAD!" Vanessa said, shaking him.  "Please?"

	He could never resist the puppy-dog eyes.  "Of course," he said.
"You haven't seen Perry the Platypus, by any chance?  He ought to be
here by now to stop me."

	Vanessa rubbed the side of her forehead.  "No," she said.  "Maybe
he's caught in traffic."

	"Caught in traffic?  He has a flying car!"

****************

	"Okay, it's Stacy's turn," Phineas said.  "Ferb, activate the spinner."

	Ferb hit a remote control and the giant wheel now mounted in the
backyard spun.  It came up an eight, so Stacy drove her car forwards
eight spaces.  'You get a faithful pet'.  "Oooh, but Isabella already
got the only pet," she said.

	Isabella had buckled Perry into the front passenger seat of her car,
and kept checking on him, despite his best efforts to escape.

	"Ferb, hit her," Phineas said.

	Ferb tossed Stacy a wooden version of Perry.  "Sorry, best we can do."

	"Oooh, the Platypus Inaction Figure," Stacy said, laughing.  "Who's next?"

	"Me!" Baljeet said.

	The spinner spun to three.  He drove his car forwards.    "Your child
turns a bull loose in a china shop, lose 20,000 paying for damages,"
the square read.  "Oh no!" Baljeet said, then turned to the
holographic boy sitting behind him.  "Don't make me stop the car!"

	"Hey, the boy's got STYLE," Buford said.  "And at least you got a
boy."  Buford had three holo-daughters.  They'd painted his car pink
too, at the last square.  At least it still sort of looked like a
Corvette.

	Sort of.

*************

	"Look at this!" Lawrence said excitedly to his daughter.

	"It's a chair.  A very plain, wooden chair," Candace said.  She sat
on it.  "Okay, I will admit it's comfortable, for a wooden chair."

	"It's SHAKER FURNITURE," he said as if this was self-evident.

	"You can't excite me with a chair, dad," she said.  She tried making
it shake.  "It also is busted."

	Busted...

	"I'd better call Stacy.  She hasn't called at all, so something
REALLY bad must be happening."

	He sighed.  "I'm sure it just means that nothing bad is happening."

	"Those two get up to something EVERY DAY," Candace said.

	"You could learn a lesson from that," he said.

	"Every time I let my guard down with those two, I end up in trouble,
humiliated, or I make an idiot of myself in front of Jeremy," Candace
said.  "Calling Stacy now."

	It was oddly quiet in the background when Stacy answered, other than
an odd 'click-click-click' noise.  It stopped and she heard Isabella
say, "Six!"  And then... was that a car engine?

	"Hi, Candace, we're playing Life.  Everything's perfectly normal and fun."

	"Oooh, I just won the Most Patches in One Day prize!," Isabella said
excitedly.  "One hundred thousand dollars!"

	"How did she just get patches if you're just playing Life?" Candace demanded.

	Click-click-click-click.

	"Hey, where's Perry?" Phineas said.

	Candace twitched.

	"It's just a square on the board," Stacy said.  "Not real patches."

	More engine noises.

	"And the engine sounds?"

	"TV," Stacy said.

	She's been seduced.  "I have to..."

	"Stay here and learn to identify Shaker furniture so we can put it
all together," Lawrence said.

	"But..."

	"They're fine," he said.  "We won't have time to go to the mall if
you malinger, though."

	Twitch.  "Okay, let's get shaking," she said and he laughed.  They
now went to work.

***************

	"Look, if you're going to go to a concert with someone you like, I
have to give you some advice," Dr. Doofenschmirtz said to Vanessa as
they sat on the patio in lounge chairs, drinking coke.  "If you see
any girl who has really big hands, you will have to eliminate her
before she steals your boyfriend."

	"..."

	"Fortunately, I can give you this," he said, handing her a purple ray
gun.  "Dr. Chekov gave me this for my birthday, but I am going to loan
it to you for this trip.  It causes a person's hands to shrink.  But
it only can hold six shots before you need new D-cells."

	She took it; she'd learned not to argue over such things.

	"Secondly, if he goes for a kiss, don't pass up the chance because
you'll miss your favorite chorus and you want to sing along with it.
The chance MAY NEVER COME AGAIN," he said very urgently.

	She smiled a little.

	"Third, never, ever mention you went on a date with anyone in the
band," he said, ticking off his fingers.  "W...guys will hate that."

	"I've never even come within miles of this band before," she said.

	"Good," he said.  "Fourth, never eat ANYTHING which has touched the
floor of an auditorium.  Fifth..."

	Perry clung to the underside of the balcony, frowning at the smell
which kept wafting out of a nearby vent.

	"And tenth, handholding doesn't mean they will love you forever.
It's best to prepare your hideous revenge in advance.  Anyway, have
fun on your trip!," he said.

	"You too, Dad," she said.  "Can you disarm the traps for me?"

	"Of course!  Anything for my daughter!"

	Perry headed in once he had the opening, vanishing into the building.

****************

	"Now we get to the exciting part," Lawrence said.  "Your mother and I
bought four lots in a blind auction and I'm eager to see what they
are."

	"A what?"

	"Blind auction.  Everyone puts on blindfolds and bids without knowing
anything except what they can learn by touching the lots."

	"..."

	"VERY exciting, though once I ended up spending four hundred dollars
on a twelve pack of toilet paper inside a very large box."  He shook
his head. "The follies of youth."

	"..."

	"Get the crowbar."

	THIS she could get into.  Prying open the first crate was an
enjoyable way to burn off stress.  It turned out to hold...

	Candace plucked one out and stared at the odd plasticky box; it was
longer than it was wide and fairly flat with some sort of weird
electronics inside a hollow opening at one end.  And it was labelled
'E.T.:  The Video Game'.

	"Don't touch it!  It's evil," her father said, knocking it back into the box.

	"Wait, wasn't that a..."

	He nailed the box shut.  "We're dumping this into the ocean, later."

	"Shouldn't we at least send it to the landfill?"

	"It might do terrible things to the other junk," her father said,
then seemed to glaze over, clearly having a flashback.

	"Is like the time I wanted to watch Rocky Horror and you..."

	"You are not allowed to watch that even after we DIE," he said,
snapping out of the flashback.

	Candace jumped back and he sighed.  "Long story."

	"You always say that," she said.

	The second crate turned out to be full of Lindana CDs.  They put
those aside in case Linda wanted them.

	The third crate was full of capes, costumes, ray guns, circuit
boards, blue prints, odd widgets, cell phones wired to microwaves, and
other oddments of mad science.

	"My goodness," Lawrence said. "Let's open the others, then we'll
catalog this for resale on the mad science market.  I only payed a
hundred for this; we may be able to afford that trip to the Caribbean
after all."

	Candace couldn't decide if a trip to the Caribbean was GOOD (fun in
the sun at the beach and swimming and skiing and everything) or BAD (A
TOTAL LACK OF JEREMY!!!!).  She couldn't help digging through the box
just to look at everything.  Her brothers would totally love this
stuff, probably cook up some crazy device to let them go surfing
around the Sun.

	She and Jeremy were surfing around the Sun and he was smiling at her
when her father said, "Crowbar time, Candace."

	She leveraged open the next crate.  Nothing but vaccum tubes and
giant circuitboards for them.  There were plans for a computer called
'MANIAC' inside.  A very large computer.

	The next crate was full of cookbooks for 'diet' food.  The crate
after that was full of labcoats, blue prints, miscellaneous mad
science widgets, multi-plug sockets, power cords, and framed pictures.
 Many of the pictures showed punched out mad scientists, mad
scientists caught in the explosion of their machine, mad scientist
lairs, and exotic places.  But one of them...

	It showed a little red haired girl, perhaps around age five, in a lab
coat scaled to her, standing on an unconscious mad scientist, blue
skinned and dark haired, doing a little dance pumping her extended
arms up and down in front of her while she laughed.  "I...is that me?"
Candace asked, shocked.

	"It does look like you.  Maybe your mother will remember this,"
Lawrence said, laughing.

	"That is my dance," Candace mumbled, doing it to demonstrate.

	Lawrence threw a lab coat on her.  "We could film that."

	"NO," Candace said.  "Everyone would think I'm a geek!"  She threw
the lab coat back in the pile.  "And now I have a headache."  Her head
throbbed.

	"I'll get you an aspirin, dear, then we'll open the rest of these crates."

****************

	"Yes!  Board game victory patch!" Isabella said, sewing it on.

	A vast purple ray shone down from the heavens, having bounced off a
satellite from Doofenschmirtz's Evil Incorporated, and made the entire
giant-sized Life board evaporate.

	"Oh man, I still had a chance to get my kids into college," Baljeet
said mournfully.

	"Let's get lunch," Stacy said. "My treat!"

	"YAAY!"

****************

	Lying in the rubble of his dream of destroying his brother's board
game collection, Dr. Doofenschmirtz answered the phone.  It was his
ex-wife, Charlene.

	"Heinz, are you sure letting her go out of town with her friends is
okay?  She's still so young," Charlene said.

	"At her age, I was already falling off mountains, giving magic shows,
and surviving being left behind at my aunt's for a week.  I'm sure she
can handle driving over to Springfield and...  Wait, how are they
getting there?"

	"Her boyfriend is driving," Charlene said.  "I'm not sure if his old
junked out car will hold together long enough, though."

	"I'll fix it up," he said.  "She's been a good girl, I think we can trust her."

	"She's so...The kids she hangs out with are kind of strange,"
Charlene said.  "They'll probably want to drink and party."

	"Are you saying you never did that at her age?" Dr. Doofenschmirtz said.

	Charlene laughed nervously.

	"Look, when I was her age, no one would have gone to the concert with
me, my car would have broken down and gone off a cliff and I would
have then been mauled by a yeti.  Let her seize all the happiness she
can, while she still can," Dr. Doofenschmirtz said.

	The ruins of the board game destroying machine now began to emit
smoke and made weird twanging noises.

	"What's that?"

	"A platypus got loose in my lab and wrecked everything," he said, sighing.

	"Again?  There's an awful lot of semi-aquatic animals in this town lately."

	"I know," he said wearily.  "Just give her some ground rules and if
she breaks them, then you can punish her.  But if you never show her
any trust, she'll never become trustworthy.  Why be trustworthy if no
one ever believes you when you are?"  He sighed, trying to fight the
urge to flashback.

	"She makes up these crazy stories all the time and there's never any proof."

	"She never makes up crazy stories without proof with me," Dr.
Doofenschmirtz said.  "But she's a teenager.  You know how it was,
right?"

	Charlene sighed.  "Okay, I'll give her a chance."

	"She's very tough and capable.  She'll be fine."

	The sprinklers now kicked in.  "There went the sprinklers. Gotta go.
See you, Charlene."

	"See you, Heinz."

	Lightning now began arcing out of the busted inator and Dr.
Doofenschmirtz began dodging like crazy.

	Just another typical day.

****************

	Candace looked warily at Stacy and Isabella and Baljeet and Phineas
and Ferb and Buford, who were busy playing Monopoly.  A perfectly
normal version of Monopoly.

	"You just played board games," Candace said, rubbing her forehead.

	"Yes," Stacy said, grinning.

	"All day."

	"We also had lunch," Ferb pointed out.

	"Lunch.  At a sandwich shop at the end of time?" Candace asked.  "On
the plant Mongor?  While aliens tried to steal your spleen?"

	"Oooh, I think I know what we're doing tomorrow," Phineas said to Ferb.

	"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Candace fled the room screaming to pout until dinner.

***************

	Lawrence showed Linda the picture at dinner.  Candance noticed
Phineas was making his mashed potatos into a replica of Castle
Caernavon, with gravy as the moat.  But she knew he'd eat it before
she could get her mother to even look at it.

	"Oh my, I think that is Candace.  She always used to tell stories
claiming she and her father went and beat up mad scientists and
supervillains when he was babysitting her for me.  She had SUCH a
vivid imagination.  And I'm pretty sure that's Drew, one of Harry's
friends, posing as the mad scientist.  How cute."  Linda smiled.

	"I don't remember..."  Candace grimaced as her head throbbed.  "Owwwww."

	"She's always had an active imagination," Linda said.  "Too active
sometimes.  It would be nice to get through a day without being
dragged home to see things that don't exist."

	"But I didn't drag you home today!" Candace protested.

	"..."

	Lawrence laughed.  "She has you there, dear.  She was a GREAT help to
me."  He paused.  "Oh here."  He passed her fifty dollars.  "This is
for helping me."

	"OOH," she said, headache vanishing.

	"You and Jeremy can go see a movie or something."

	Her headache vanished and she lost herself in fantasy land.

	"Harry? Drew?" Ferb asked curiously.

	"Harry and his science friends.  My first husband, Harold Brown,
Phineas and Candace's father.  He was a scientist.  That was when we
were in the old house."

	"That house was AWESOME," Phineas said.  "I think."

	"We moved out of it a little before I met Lawrence," Linda said.  "It
had an attached laboratory.  Harold ran around with a bunch of guys he
met in college.  Drew Theodore P. Lipsky, Heinz Doofenschmirtz, James
Timothy Possible, and...that other fellow.  He didn't talk much.
Anyway.  But..."  She sighed.  "He managed to blow up the car somehow
and then he ran away and sent me a letter saying he'd moved to Africa
to join a Sacred White Gorilla cult, so I got a divorce."

	Candace sighed.  She remembered him leaving; she'd cried for days.

	"I was just a baby, right?" Phineas asked.

	"Yes," Linda said.  "Anyway, he must have taken this picture.  It's
probably had a few adventures of its own, passing around to end up in
that crate."

	"I didn't..."

	"Oh, you liked wearing labcoats like your Dad all the time, but you
stopped after he abandoned us."  Linda sighed.

	"Wait...Is Heinz Doofenschmirtz Vanessa's father?" Ferb asked.

	"Yes," Linda said.  "You know her?"

	"Yes," he said, drifting into fantasyland.

	"It's a pity their marriage didn't work out," Linda said.  "But as I
told her at the time, at least he didn't decide to go be a gorilla.  I
dated him one time but it was a disaster."  She shook her head.  "It
was a blind date.  I went on a lot of them for a while, before I met
Harold."

	"I'm surprised you need to go on blind dates, Mom," Candace said.
"You've always been pretty."  She sounded jealous.

	"That was when I was working at the museum.  I didn't have many
chances to meet new people and my co-workers were all married," Linda
said.  "Vanessa, do you want this picture?"

	"I get a headache just looking at it," Candace said.

	"I'll put it in our Candace shrine, then," Lawrence said.

	"Shrine?"

	"You know, the pictures we have of you three on the wall by the door
in our bedroom," Linda said, smiling.  "You three are the center of
our lives, you know."

	Candace turned red and Phineas and Ferb both smiled.  "Thanks, Mom,"
Phineas said.

	"It's the truth," Linda said. "Now, let's get dinner done before it gets cold."

	"I like cold roast beef," Lawrence said.

	"Later dear, later."

	Candace prayed the image in her head was NOT TRUE.

*****************

	"Fifty dollars.  You could even go to a really NICE restaurant with
that," Stacy said enviously the next morning.

	"I just have to decide what to do," Candace said.

	Phineas and Ferb trooped by and went into the kitchen.  Rustling noises ensued.

	"DAMMIT," Candace said.

	"Focus.  Jeremy awaits," Stacy said.

	"But they..."

	"It's just the kitchen."

	"Just the kitchen," Candace said.

	An ad now came on the TV for Kimpossible.com, advertising how Kim
could do ANYTHING and rates were reasonable.  Images ranging from
babysitting to her karate kicking an angry scotsman in the face now
flashed across the screen.

	"Ooooh," Candace said.  "I wonder if she could bust my brothers."

	Stacy facepalmed.  "Don't waste this windfall on something you can do
for free!"

	"Also, I wonder if she's related to that guy Mom mentioned last
night," Candace said.  "Maybe she knows something about that picture."

	"What picture?" Stacy asked.

	"No picture at all!"

	"Here, we'll show you, Stacy," Phineas said, now laden down with books.

	"Thanks, guys!"

	"NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

****************
	
	"Dr. Drakken, we have a signal from the tracer," Shego said to him.

	He was busy jamming to one of his favorite CDs, 'I'm Lindana and I
Wanna Have Fun!'.  Shego had heard this roughly 3 million times and
wanted to DESTROY it but somehow, he always got a new one within
hours.

	He cut the music before she would have to disintegrate her own
eardrums.  "Excellent.  So where is she off to this time?"

	"Danville," Shego said. "The one in the Tri-State Area."

	Dr. Drakken twitched. "Danville."

	"Bad memories?" Shego asked, hoping for a story she could use to mock
him later.

	"Terrible, terrible memories.  That damnable toddler!  SHE IS DANCING
ON ME INSIDE MY HEAD AS I SPEAK!"  He ran off shouting.

	There was a flash and a thump.  He'd knocked himself unconscious with
one of his experimental blasters.

	She decided to load him into the new flying car and head for
Danville; whatever Possible was up to, Shego was in the mood to punch
someone out.  She didn't need a good excuse.  She was EVIL, dammit.
What use is being evil if you can't hit someone just for being alive?

*****************

	"This may be the most incoherent request we've ever gotten," Ron said
to Kim as they parachuted down towards Danville.  Below them, a blimp
was making its way across the sky.

	"Even Wade couldn't figure it out," Kim said.  "This could be one of
our greatest challenges."  She clearly relished the opportunity.

	The message had read 'HELP MY BROTHERS MUST BE BUSTED BEFORE I GO MAD
HELP ME KIM POSSIBLE YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH
THOSE RECIPE BOOKS DAMMIT MY HEAD HURTS AND I THINK I LEFT CAPSLOCK ON
HOLD ON STACY I AM SENDING A MESSAGE'.  It was from
CandyCane38 at coldmail.com.  Wade had been able to track the address to
Danville, but that was all.

	Still, Danville was only about 250,000 people, so it wouldn't take
too long to find out what was going on.

	As they fell further, they could see they were going to intercept the
blimp.  They also saw a small flying car zoom up to it, dock and a
fedora-wearing green platypus jumped out and entered the blimp, which
was labelled 'Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated.'

	"Wade, you got that?" Kim asked, holding her camera to film the blimp
and send it to him.

	"I'm on it," he said.

	Rufus now climbed out of Ron's pocket, up his side and began tugging
on one of the straps of his parachute.  "Hey, Rufus, what are
you...THAT IS NOT A SNACK!"

	Ron suddenly cut to one side and began arcing down rapidly towards a
suburban house.

	"Ron!"

	There was the sound of laser weaponry inside the blimp.  Kim looked
at the blimp, then at Ron.  This was probably what they'd come here to
stop.  But Ron...

	Dammit.

	"I'm coming, Ron!" she said, and angled to go after him.

***************

	Vanessa studied the car.  It was a beat up 1985 Malibu Classic.
Which now had somehow become a convertible and had a huge gleaming
engine which looked like it had been stolen from a monster truck.
Also, there were buttons in places a car shouldn't have buttons.

	Johnny eased into the driver's seat and Vanessa got in the shotgun
seat, with her friend Lacey and Lacey's boyfriend Fred (though he
insisted on being called Alexander these days, or Alex, since no
self-respecting Goth could stand to be called FRED) got in behind
them.

	"Man, this looks awesome, your Dad rocks," Johnny said.

	We are so dead, Vanessa thought.

	Johnny hit a button and the car jumped hundreds of feet into the air
and then he hit the gas and they began zooming west.

	"This is AWESOME," Fred said.

	"WOO!" Lacey shouted.  "I wish my Dad was evil!"

	Vanessa buried her face in her hands as her hair whipped about.

	Thus, she didn't see Ron Stoppable when he crashed into the back
seat, landing butt first on Fred's face.  Then his parachute settled
down over Johnny's head.

	"I can't see!  I'm all alone in the DARK!"  He curled up in a ball
and the car suddenly went wild, arcing upwards as he pulled back on
the steering wheel.

	Kim landed on the hood, sliced the parachute open and dumped it, then
said, "Ron, get off that guy's face!"

	"Sorry, KP," he said.  "Rufus, why did you do that?"

	Rufus shrugged and chittered.

	"No Bueno Nacho for YOU tonight," Ron said sternly.

	Rufus gave the chitter they knew meant 'NOOOO!!!!!!!!'

	"I oughta bust you one!," Fred said to Ron angrily; Ron was now
wedged into the back seat between Fred and Lacey.

	"It was Rufus' fault!," Ron said.  "But I am sorry."

	"It's okay," Lacey said.  "You're cute, so I forgive you."

	Ron got hearts in his eyes and Fred said, "HEY!"

	"Hey, are you Kim Possible?" Vanessa asked Kim.

	She struck a heroic pose.  "Yes, yes I am," she said.

	"Kim!  BLIMP!"  Ron shouted.

	"NO!," Vanessa shouted.

	Kim flipped over everyone, grabbing Ron; in the process, his pants
snagged on one of the cupholders and tore right off.  They landed on
the back of the car and it suddenly turned upwards, flying over the
blimp, even as a violet ray shot out of it down into the neighborhood.

	Then they flipped back to the hood and the car righted itself and
Johnny now recovered and the vehicle flew level.  Except now Ron was
down to his boxer shorts.  Vanessa covered her face for fear of going
blind.  Lacey grinned, and Fred covered her eyes.

	Kim grabbed the remains of Ron's parachute and made it into a kilt.
"Is that the local mad scientist's blimp?" she asked.

	"It's..." Johnny began.

	"Did you have to make it into a skirt?" Ron asked, embarassed.

	"Hey, it fits you," Fred said irritably.

	"That's just a joke," Vanessa said.  She could see her father was in
enough trouble for one day.

	"You wouldn't happen to know anyone who uses the email
CandyCane38 at coldmail.com by any chance?" Kim asked.  "We got an email
from...I think it's a her."

	They all looked at each other, then Johnny said, "No self-respecting
goth would even KNOW someone who calls themself 'CandyCane' as a
handle."

	"True," Kim said.  "Anyway, very sorry to cause you trouble.  We'll
just share my parachute."

	"Won't you be giving everyone an upskirt view of your partner's
boxers?" Lacey said.  "That might embarrass him."

	"Johnny, just land on that bank over there," Vanessa said.  "That good?"

	"We're good, thanks," Kim said.  "Nice to meet you all."

	"Nice to meet you," Johnny said.  "Good luck."

	"There's a guy named Ferb Fletcher.  He's a kid but he's VERY smart
and he might be able to help you," Vanessa said.  She scribbled out an
address and phone number.

	"Thanks," Kim said.  Good, we have a lead.

	"Know anywhere good to get some pants?" Ron asked.

	"Googleplex Mall has it ALL," Lacey said.

	"Thanks!"

	They took off once the car landed.

*****************

	"Ooh, Fletcher.  He's almost as smart as me," Wade said.  "I'm sure
he can help you out."

	"Any leads on Doofenschmirtz?"

	"Heinz Doofenschmirtz.  He went to college with your Dad.  He got
terrible grades and flunked out before finishing the program."

	Wade showed them a picture of Dr. Doofenschmirtz hanging over the
edge of a shaft from which creepy light glowed.  A much younger James
T. Possible, Kim's father, was busy pulling him out of the shaft.
"This was the incident which got him flunked out, after he
accidentally caused the campus reactor to melt down while trying to
re-enact the fight at the end of Return of the Jedi to impress a
woman."

	"Damn, he's hideous," Ron said.

	"My father...," Kim began.

	"Doofenschmirtz," Ron said quickly.

	"Yes, he is," Kim said. "And he dresses like a refugee from the eighties."

	"That picture is from the eighties," Wade said.

	"Oh."

	"Anyway, he's on OWCA's watch list," Wade said.  "Agent P is assigned
to keep him in check.  Be careful, there's over a dozen people under
OWCA watch in Danville."

	"There's a dozen mad scientists in a town this size?" Kim said, shocked.

	"Anyway, he's divorced and uses his alimony money to pursue global
conquest and the like," Wade said.  "His ex-wife might be able to tell
you something.  Or his daughter.  I've sent you pictures."
	

	"Hey, she was in the shotgun seat," Ron said.  "Man, they were both cute."

	Kim frowned, then said, "Does he have a brother?"

	"His brother Roger is the well beloved mayor of Danville. He's
clean," Wade said.

	"A sister?"

	"Not sure.  He was born in another country, Druelselstein, and they
haven't bothered to make their records electronic," Wade said.

	"I have a suspicion these brothers are up to something," Kim said,
thinking about her own brothers.  "We'll see what Fletcher can tell
us."

***************

	Kim walked into the backyard, where a bunch of Firesign girls and two
young boys were busy raking the yard, pushing black ash around and
mixing it into the soil.  "What's that?" Ron asked.  They'd gotten him
pants first.

	"Our project for the day got vaporized by a ray from the sky, so
we're turning it into fertilizer to help the lawn grow," a young boy
with short red hair said.

	"We're getting our lawn care badges!" a dark haired girl said.  Kim
had been a Firesign girl in her younger days.  This was clearly the
leader.

	"I remember when I got mine," Kim said.

	"Lawnmowers should NOT have atomic piles," Ron said.  "Period."

	One of the girls, who had glasses, consulted her manual. "An
Oppenheimer Quick Cut?" she asked.

	"YES," he said.

	"They were discontinued after one year of sales," she said, putting
her manual away and studying Ron, who did his best to look cool.

	"I'm looking for Ferb Fletcher," Kim said.

	"That's me," Ferb said, flashing a confident grin.  TOOTHGLINT.

	It suddenly hit her that she'd taken directions from a mad
scientist's daughter.  Was this a trap?  "Do you know someone who uses
the email CandyCane38 at coldmail.com?" she asked.

	"She's my sister, Candace," he said.

	"..."

	"HAH!"  A fifteen year old redhead now ran out and snapped photos of
everyone.  "This time, I have...hey, where did the Time-Travel Door
go, Phineas?"

	"Some ray shot out of the sky and vaporized it, so we decided to just
fertilize the lawn with the ashes and call it a day," Phineas said.
He was the red haired boy.

	"How sweet of you," an older reheaded woman said from the door.  "How
about if everyone comes in and has a snack?"

	"AAAAHHH!!!!" Candace shouted, falling to her knees.

	"Thanks, Mom," Phineas said.

	"And Candace, you didn't say you had new friends over," the woman
said to Kim and Ron.  "I'm Linda Flynn, Candace's mom."

	"I'm Kim Possible and this is my best friend, Ron Stoppable."

	"Oooh, is your father Jim T. Possible?" Linda asked.

	"Yes, yes he is," Kim said.

	"I haven't seen him in so long.  You were so cute when you were a
little kid," Linda said.  "Your father was a friend from college of my
first husband, Phineas' and Candace's father.  Come in, come in."

	Tell me she didn't marry Doofenschmirtz, Kim thought in horror.  It
now struck her that Phineas' hair was like that of Doofenschmirtz,
except red.

	"What was his name?" she asked.

	"Harold Brown," she said.  "Despite the name, he was a redhead."

	"What happened?" Ron asked.  "I mean, I guess I shouldn't ask."

	Candace grimaced as she ate a cookie her mother gave her.

	She sighed.  "He left me to join a cult.  You wouldn't think a
scientist would do that," Linda said.  "Cookie?"

	"Yes, it is," Ron said.  "I mean, thanks."

	Kim watched Phineas and Ferb chatter with their friends and wondered
why Candace had sent such a panicked message about them.

***************

	"They're pure evil," Candace said.

	"PURE evil," Stacy said, then laughed.

	Candace now launched into a VERY long rant about their past misdemeanors.

***************

	Vanessa finally started to relax.  Only ten miles to Springfield, she
was with her boyfriend and the concert didn't start for six hours.
Nothing could possibly go wrong.

	Until two more flying cars dove down from the heavens right at them.
One had a man with blue skin and a ray gun that turned people into
frogs.  The other had a bunch of secret agent looking guys trying to
board his vehicle. They were getting their ass kicked by a woman with
pale skin and dark green hair with glowing hands and a green catsuit.
She was busy throwing them off their flying car, destroying the
controls and resetting the station to some decent music, all at the
same time.

	"Oooh, in-flight show!" Alex said.

	"I thought they just used super-animals for spying these days," Lacey said.

	"Johnny, cut left.  We need to avoid..." Vanessa began.

	ZZZAP.  Instant Frog.  Instant Frog in the driver's seat, that is.
The car began to list left and down.

	Vanessa seized the wheel and righted the vehicle.  "You bastard!  You
turned my boyfriend into a FROG!  Lacey, you drive.  I'm taking them
down."

	Lacey EAGERLY leaped into the driver's seat and arced around.  "RAMMING SPEED!"

	As they closed in, Vanessa leaped onto the blue-skinned mad
scientist, grabbed his frog-ray gun, and tossed it to Fred, who now
managed to set it off on himself and turned into a frog.  "Alex!
There should be a reverse setting on that!"

	"What sort of idiot puts reverse settings on his weapon?" the
blue-skinned man asked.  "Now, I will..."
	
	Vanessa nailed him with an uppercut.  "Lacey, come alongside.  I'll
hit the self-destruct and then we're out of here."

	The blue-skinned man laid stunned but now the cat-suit woman was on
Vanessa.  All the secret agents were parachuting towards the forest
below, having been thrown out.  The woman said, "Drakken can be an
idiot sometimes, but even he isn't THAT stupid.  Sometimes.  At least,
there have been days..."

	"Shego, finish her," he said woozily on the ground.

	Vanessa kicked Shego in the groin and tried to spring for the car
Lacey was driving, but Shego grabbed her foot.

	"You bitch!" Shego said.  "Kim would never take a cheap shot like that!"

	"She probably isn't EVIL LIKE ME!  I'm a mad scientist's daughter,
you fool!" Vanessa said, trying to intimidate her.  "I'm Vanessa
Doofenschmirtz!"  She was now dangling over a very long fall, but
Lacey dropped down so Vanessa would only fall into her flying car.

	"Bullshit.  There's no way anyone would ACTUALLY marry Heinz
Doofenschmirtz," Drakken said.  "The man was so pathetic, he built
himself a ROBOT WIFE."

	"You're in no place to talk," Shego said.

	"The Bebes were KILLING MACHINES, not wives!" Drakken protested.

	"MOM IS NOT A ROBOT!" Vanessa said angrily, trying to kick Shego in
the face.  "He is my father!"

	"Keep her," Drakken said.  "We might need her for leverage on Heinz."

	"I...hey, that's an actual good idea," Shego said, clearly stunned.

	"He's probably living in fake suburban bliss, having surrounded
himself with robots who fake love for him, since no real person could
like him," Drakken said, sitting up.

	Vanessa twisted around and kicked Drakken in the face.  "Don't say
that about my father!"

	"Also, get rid of those meddling teens and their flying car," Drakken
said.  "And get me some aspirin."

	The mounted laser forced Lacey to retreat and vaporized the frog gun
when she tried counter-fire.

	"Lacey!  Tell Dad a giant stupid smurf and his ugly girlfriend are
after him!" Vanessa shouted.

	"Blow up the car!" Drakken said.

	BOOM!  The car exploded messily with one good hit on the engine.

	Vanessa stared in horror.  "You...you..."

	"We are evil," Shego said, grinning and striking a victory pose with
her free hand.

	"They did have parachutes, right?" Drakken said.  "WE have parachutes, right?"

	"Do not ruin my glorious moment of EVIL," Shego said irritably, then
headed for Danville, captive and foolish boss in tow.

**********************

	Vanessa awoke in the woods with two frogs busy eating flies next to
her.  There were platypus tracks leading away from her.

	She sat up and realized...  "My phone is broken!  How..."

	"Ribbit," Fred said.

	She sighed and put them in her pockets.  "Good thing I brought snacks.

**********************

	"Oh, it's fine if you stay a few days.  I couldn't stand to make you
stay in a hotel," Linda said.  "It's summer, so you don't have school,
so it's all good.  It was nice of you to come all this way to meet
Candace, who NEVER mentioned she was in contact with you."  STARE.

	"Hahaha," Candace laughed nervously.

	"We have futons; you can stay with Candace, Kim, and Ron, you can
stay with the boys, if that's okay."

	"It's great," Phineas said.

	"I was asking Ron."

	"Oh, it's cool, Mrs. Flynn," Ron said.

	"Okay.  Candace, help me get the futons."

	"Oh man, I hate hauling those things," Candace grumbled.

	"I'll help too," Kim said.

	Linda smiled. "Still such a nice, helpful girl," she said.	

	Candace twitched and now they went to work.

************

	"He's not under OWCA jurisdiction," Major Monogram said.  "He's a
second tier threat!  Global Justice handles those."

	Perry chittered.

	"Doofenschmirtz is tier four on a good day, but most of the time,
he's only tier five," Major Monogram said, sighing.  "So I can't
approve your request."

	Perry rose, chittering.

	"Wait!  You can't just go after Drakken on your own!" Monogram said.

	Perry frowned.

	"Agent P, we have to send a request to Global Justice," he said.

	Perry looked dubious.

	"Just because their best agents failed doesn't mean...okay, maybe it
does...it's the rules, okay?  Where are we without the rules? ANIMALS,
that's where."

	Perry snorted and strode off.

	"No, wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean... "

	And Perry was gone.

	"Great, my best agent has gone renegade.  Now what do I do, Carl?"
Major Monogram demanded of his intern.

	"Well, I did see this TV ad for a girl who claims she can do anything."

	"We'll call in the morning.  If  I don't get home, my wife will roast
ME for dinner," he said.

	"See you tomorrow, boss."

******************	

	"Do you...," Candace said hesitantly to Kim.

	Kim had done Candace's hair into a braid and tied it with a bow.
"How do you like this?"

	Candace hadn't even realized Kim was braiding her hair.  "I dunno if
Jeremy would like it.  Though it's really..."  She tested it.  "Wow,
this is sturdy."

	"I don't have enough hair to do all the things you can," Kim said.

	"Are your parents still married?" Candace asked.

	"Yeah, they fell in love and still kind of get mushy all over each
other.  Whenever they're actually home instead of working, anyway,"
Kim said.  "Dad's a rocket scientist at Middleton Space Center and
Mom's a neurosurgeon.  What do your parents do?"

	"Run an antiques shop," Candace said, sighing.  "My birth dad ran
away to Africa a little after Phineas was born.  To join a Sacred
White Gorilla cult."

	Kim blinked.  "Would this be the one in Zawandaland?"

	"I don't know," Candace said.

	"I hope he wasn't one of the guys I beat up there," Kim said.  "They
were trying to turn everyone in Zawandaland into white gorillas."

	"Don't say that in front of my brothers or they might try to turn
everyone in Danville into sacred white gorillas," Candace said
mournfully.

	"Oh, Kimmy, come here, I have to show you this really cute picture of
Candace we just got," Linda said, sticking her head in.

	"Noooooo," Candace said desperately.

	Nothing could stop Linda Flynn, as usual.

	Kim said, "Oh wow, you took down Drakken at age six?"  She looked very jealous.

	"Who?  That's one of Harry's old friends, Drew Theodore P. Lipsky.
They had a lot of fun together," Linda said.  "Candace would always
claim she and her father fought mad scientists together.  She'd dress
up in this labcoat I cut short for her.  I guess he played along for
this picture.  Can you do the dance for Kimmy, Candace?"

	"Mom, I..."  HEAD PAIN.  "Mom," Candace said, pained.  "I look so
geeky in that picture.  And we don't even know it was me!  I don't
remember any of that!"

	"Your father was adorably geeky.  Until he left me."  Linda sighed.
"I hope he's happy, wherever he is."

	"That's Dr. Drakken, he's an evil mad scientist," Kim said.  "I clash
with him all the time back in Middleton."

	"It's nice to see you still have that youthful imagination," Linda
said.  "Must be why you and Candace get along so well."

	Kim said, "No, it's real, it's real!"

	"Of course it is, dear.  Anyway, I'm sure you two will have fun
tonight fighting off an invasion from Neptune.  Is Stacy going to stay
over too?"

	"I'll call her," Candace said.

	"But...," Kim began.

	Candace dragged Kim off.  "You cannot win without PROOF," Candace
said.  "All of which goes POOF the second that Mom comes near it."

	Something weird is going on, Kim thought.  Time to confab with Wade,
see what he knows about Harold Brown.

***************

	"He's an agent of Global Justice, working in Africa these days.  He
used to have the Danville beat, but he was transferred to Africa about
a decade ago.  So he faked running away to join a cult," Wade said.

	Kim stared, horrified.  "He just abandoned his wife and kids?"

	"Being a spy sometimes means losing everything you love to protect
your country and innocents," Wade said.  He sipped a kool-aid.  "Which
is why you won't find me being a spy."

	"Hey, Kim," Phineas said, pounding on the door of the bathroom, where
she was making her call while pretending to use the toilet.  "Perry
isn't in there, is he?  I just realized he never came back from making
his patrol."

	"Patrol?"

	"I think he goes round each day, marking his territory," Phineas
said.  "To keep other platypi out of his territory."

	"He's a platypus?"

	"Yeah. He doesn't do much but he's our friend," Phineas said.

	"He's not in here," Kim said.  "Try putting out some food for him."

	"Good idea."

	"Sorry, Wade," she said, once the footsteps receded.

	"It's okay," he said.  "Anyway, he went head to head with
Doofenschmirtz, Drakken, Dr. Destructo, Dr. Feelgood, Dr. Love, a lot
of different people.  Danville seems to have a long tradition of mad
science.  A lot of them either retired or moved when he left.  He was
kind of notorious for having a midget assistant who really liked to
gloat."

	Kim frowned. "Hmm.  Sounds like her stories to her mother were true,
but her mother thinks Candace made them up and Candace doesn't
actually remember any of it."

	"Someone probably memory-wiped both of them," Wade said.

	"Are you sure he actually went to Africa and didn't get stuffed in a
box by someone who then altered their memories?" Kim asked.  "Maybe
this Doofenschmirtz has him."

	Kim's phone rang.  "Hold on, lemme check the other line."

	It was the head of Global Justice, Dr. Director.

	"What's the sitch, Dr. Director?" Kim asked.

 	Dr. Director said, "Kim, I have a warning.  Drakken has come to
Danville and we don't know why.  The last we knew, he'd bought a large
crate of mixed 80s CD on MadBay.  Unless he plans to bring back the
eighties..."  She paused.

	"Of course he does," Kim said.

	"We'll act on that assumption," Dr. Director said. "Anyway, even
though a local heroine tried to stop Drakken, Shego took out a bunch
of our agents, and they're pretty sure he's still on the loose."

	I think I know who that was, Kim thought.  Candace must have taken up
her father's legacy and is hiding it from her mother with crazy
stories about her brothers getting up to things.  "I'll investigate,"
Kim said.  "I'll see if Wade knows any place here which is home to 80s
nostalgia items."

	"Let us know if you need backup; I'll see what we can find out," Dr.
Director said.

	"Glad to help, Director.  Gotta get back to Wade."

	"Good luck, Kim Possible. We're counting on you."

	Kim flipped channels back to Wade.  "I have a theory, but will need
more proof.  Also, Drakken is loose in Danville and on a quest to
bring back the 80s.  I need to know everything related to 80s
nostalgia you can find in this town."

	"I'll get on it," he said.  "Good luck, Kim."

	"Thanks," she said, then flushed the toilet and went out to look for Candace.

*****************

	Ron said to Rufus, "Come on, Rufus, track him by scent."

	Rufus looked around, frowned, then led them up to the back fence and
butted it with his head.

	Ron helped Phineas and Ferb over the fence and the trio went through
the other backyard, past the house (which had been sitting empty,
waiting for someone to rent or buy it, all summer), then down the
street, following Perry's scent trail.

	"Thanks for helping," Phineas said. "I'm kind of worried.  Maybe we
should call Isabella."

	"I don't think her mother will let her go out this late," Ferb said.

	"Don't worry," Ron said.  "You're safe with me."

	"Yeah," Phineas said.  "We'd be in huge trouble if we did this by ourselves."

***************
	
	"Hey, I fight evil too," Kim said.  "You don't have to hide it from
me, though I can see why you can't tell your Mom."

	"I am just an ordinary girl!  I'm not cool like you at all," Candace
said.  "I wish I was all cool and fighting evil, then maybe Jeremy..."
 She sighed.

	She must have gotten the stubborn streak from her mother, Kim thought.

	Linda stuck her head in.  "Girls, I'm sorry to bother you but Phineas
and Ferb aren't in bed like they're supposed to be, and it looks like
they left their cellphones.  Can you go out and look for them?  I'm
going to check at Isabella's house, then we're going to go look for
them too."

	"Isabella...the leader of the Firesign girls?" Kim said.

	"Yes," Linda said.  "Phineas' girlfriend."

	"Isn't he kind of young to have a girlfriend?" Kim asked.,

	"Yes, yes he is.  I don't think he even knows it yet."

	"..."

	Candace giggled.  "It's so cute," she said.  She rose.  "So...they're
going to be in big trouble for this?"

	"If they don't have a good reason, yes," Linda said.

	"YES," Candace said.  "We are ON IT!  Come on, Kim!"

	She opened the window and flipped out of it up onto the roof.  "Grab
my telescope," she said.

	Kim grinned, grabbed the telescope and flipped up onto the roof.
Here we go, she thought.

	Candace grabbed the scope and began sweeping the landscape, looking
for BUSTABLE BROTHERS.

	Kim studied the skyline.  "Does that blimp always circle around over
there?"  She pointed to the Doofenschmirtz Evil, Inc. blimp.

	"They built a BLIM...oh, that blimp," Candace said.  She waved
dismissively.  "It would say Phineas and Ferb on it, or maybe
something like 'Society to Build Awareness that Perry is Missing' on
it."

	"He is a notable evil mad scientist," Kim pointed out.

	"Perry can't fly," Candace said.  "They'll be on the ground.  Let's
check the garage."

	She leaped off the roof to the tree, which bent, absorbing the blow
of her jump, then bounced her down to the ground; she ran for the
garage with Kim doing likewise.

	"Their vehicles are here," Candace said.  "Wh...the molerat!  They
got Ron to track the Platypus by scent."

	Kim felt slightly embarrassed she hadn't thought of that.

	"I hate to do this, but... we're going to have to borrow Isabella's
mutant Chihuahua," Candace said.  "Come on!"

	Kim laughed and followed.

**************

o/~ Doofenschmirtz Evil, Incorporated o/~
o/~ Sacked by Drakken and Shego! o/~

	"He's not here," Drakken said, frowning.

	"You'll never find his hidden lair!" Vanessa said angrily.  "You'll
pay for this!"

	The place was now thoroughly trashed by the search for Doofenschmirtz.

	"Look, I'm pretty sure he must have a hidden place in the suburbs,"
Drakken said.  "We can make this our temporary base and in the
morning, we resume searching.  I'm exhausted."

	"Okay," Shego said.  "I'll rewire the security."

	"And I will raid the fridge," Dr. Drakken said.

	Soon, cries of 'Oooh, figgy pudding!' could be heard.

*************

	Candace pedalled as fast as she could, trying to keep up with Pinky,
who despite his constant nervous twitches, was remarkably quick.  She
had Isabella on her shoulders and Kim was... Candace wasn't sure
exactly how Kim was clinging on behind her.

	"Just one hundred more yards and I'll qualify for the one mile ride
on someone's shoulders on a bike patch!  Come on, Candace, you can do
it!" Isabella said.  "Everyone else is gonna be SO jealous."

	"Do I get a badge for carrying you on my shoulders for a mile?" Candace asked.

	"Yes, I think, lemme consult the manual." Flip, flip.

	"Oh, you're a Firesign girl too?" Kim asked Candace.

	"She's too busy most of the time to be active," Isabella said.  "But
she's amazing when she sets her mind to it."

	Candace mumbled something incoherent, then saw another bike
approaching; it was Jeremy with a guitar on his back.

	"Oh, hi, Candace," he said.  "Who's your friend?"

	"This is Kim Possible," Candace said.  "My brothers and her friend
Ron are lost and we're trying to find them."  She laughed nervously,
fearing she looked god-awful right now.  "Funny to meet you here,
Jeremy."

	"Just finished a practice session with my band," he said.  "You need help?"

	"I...we..." Candace stuttered.

	"We're good," Kim said.  "It's nice to meet you," she said to Jeremy.

	"Wow, the real Kim Possible," Jeremy said, turning to pedal alongside
them anyway.  "You get to do the coolest things, Candace.  My family
never does anything interesting."

	"Did she tell you about the monster truck race she won?" Isabella asked.

	"And she got to go to London with Phineas and Ferb and her best
friend Stacy," Isabella said.  "But I'm not jealous at all."

	"I wanted to go but I had to babysit my sister," Jeremy said mournfully.

	"Mom panicked and convinced herself I'd be eaten by a haggis,"
Isabella said.  "And we had a big Firesign Girl jamboree."

	"And she got to sing on-stage with PFT," Jeremy said.

	"Oooh, I have their single," Kim said.

	She and Jeremy and Isabella began harmonizing to it.

	I am IN HELL, Candace thought.

	"Whatever happened to them," Kim said.

	"Good question," Jeremy said.

	"They're my BROTHERS," Candace said.

	"Gretchen, Milly, Adyson, and I were also part of PFT," Isabella said
proudly.

	"You were really good," Kim said.

	"Why did you retire?" Jeremy asked.

	"We didn't want to end up corporate rock sellouts," Isabella said.

	"That's true," Jeremy said.  "Which reminds me. Everyone Hates
Ragnald is playing in Springfield tonight.  I had tickets for us,
Candace, but some ray from the sky vaporized them, and I couldn't get
any more.  So I didn't mention it, but I'm sorry."

	"Oh man, they're SO GREAT," Candace said.  "But they're not coming to
Danville."

	"They claim it's too dangerous," Jeremy said.  "They play in Corinth
tomorrow, but that's sold out too."

	"I might be able to wrangle you two tickets," Kim said.  "For tomorrow."

	"Could you?" Candace said, eyes wide.  "I would have to love you
forever!"  Beat.  "I mean, platonically!  Not like..."

	Kim laughed.

	"YES!  PATCHES FOR BOTH OF US!" Isabella said.

	"How are we going to get there?" Candace asked, hi-fiving Isabella.

	"We could take your monster truck," Jeremy said.

	"I can't..."

	"Monster truck?" Kim asked.  Isabella said something about that earlier.

	"She was the Tri-State area champion Monster Truck driver in the last
big match," Isabella said.  "Did we ever give you the patch for that?"

	"I'd have to check," Candace said.  "I mean..."

	"She was AWESOME," Jeremy said.  "But we'd need an adult," he
continued.  "We just have learner's permits."

	"I can drive," Kim said.  "You provide the truck, I'll provide the driving."

	"Score!" Jeremy said.  His phone rang and he checked it.  "Oh man,
Mom is threatening to ground me forever if I don't get home.  Though
for some reason, she's using Suzie's account."

	Candace twitched.

	"I'll see you later!  Can't get grounded or I'll miss the concert!"
He roared off.

	"You're old enough to drive?" Candace said.

	"I'm sixteen, so is Ron," Kim said.

	"So are you two..."

	"Best friends since we were tiny," Kim said.  "We're not dating."

	Pinky flopped over, exhausted and Candace zipped past him, then
doubled back.  "Come on!  We can't track them to BUST them if you pass
out!" Candace said.

	Kim hopped off the bike.  "I'll run alongside, carrying him, while
you carry Isabella."

	"Okay," Candace said.  She'd been worried she'd hit a rock and
accidentally maim Kim anyway by dropping her on the ground.

****************

	"Man, Perry really claims some serious territory," Phineas said.
They were nearly to the Googleplex Mall by now; it was closed for the
night, except for the movie theater.

	"Rufus, are you sure we're going the right way?" Ron asked.

	Rufus looked VERY offended.

	"Come on, why would he come this far?" Ron asked.

	Rufus crossed his arms and turned his back, pouting.

	"Man, I'm sorry.  It's just late and I'm tired and hungry," Ron said.

	"Look," Ferb said.

	There was a bratwurst stand open, with a guy in a nice uniform (black
and silver) talking to a middle aged woman with dark hair and glasses.

	"FOOD," Ron said.  "It's not Bueno Nacho but it'll do."

	"I don't have any money," Phineas said.

	"I'll cover you," Ron said.

	"Man, you're great," Phineas said.  "I wish Perry could do as many
cool things as Rufus, but he's just a platypus.  He really doesn't do
anything."

	"But get lost," Ferb observed.

	"Oh, hello, boys," the woman said as they approached.  "You're
Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, right?  Linda's boys?"

	The stand said, 'Doofenschmirtz Bratwurst, Incorporated.'

	"Yes, ma'am," Phineas said.  "Nice to meet you."

	"You're Vanessa's mother, right?" Ferb said.

	"Yes," she said.  "I'm afraid I don't know you, young man," she said to Ron.

	"Ron Stoppable," she said.

	"You're just the right age to babysit kids," she said.

	"Yes, yes I am," he said.

	"Here, you all look starving," she said.  "Gruber, give them all a
nice bratwurst."

	They soon each had one; Ferb's just had mayo on it, Phineas had
chili, and Ron's was slathered in everything and he ate it in one
mighty rush, then paid for one for Rufus, who finally relented at the
tasty treat.

	"Have you seen our pet, Perry the Platypus?" Phineas asked.

	"No, but they seem to infest my ex-husband's business," Charlene
Doofenschmirtz said.  "Maybe he's gone to visit some of his own kind."

	"That makes sense, poor guy, he must be lonely," Phineas said.
"Thanks for the tip!"

	"It's right over there," she said, pointing to where it towered high
over the city.

	"Thanks, again," Phineas said.

	"Good luck!" Charlene said.  Her bratwurst stands were prospering
lately; she wasn't sure why, but she wasn't going to complain.  She'd
started it because her ex had often ranted about the impossibility of
selling bratwurst and how much he hated hot dogs, so she'd founded
this to show him he was being irrational.  And now she was making
pretty good money off it.

	So she could afford generosity to a friend's kids easily.

	They began following the trail again and now they saw Kim and
Isabella and Candace and Pinky approaching.

	"Hey, Phineas, whatcha doing?" Isabella said in a way Kim could tell
meant 'YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY ME ONE DAY.'  She couldn't help but
smile.

	"Trying to find Perry!  Want to help?" Phineas said.

	"Hey, KP, come to join the Hunt For Perry?" Ron asked, grinning.

	"Mrs. Flynn's tearing her hair out and sent us to bring you all
home," Kim said.

	"But Perry..." Phineas said weakly.

	 "It's okay.  Candace and I will look for him while you get to bed,"
Kim said sternly.  "And Ron will help us.  But if we don't get you
home, your parents will be very worried.  And we can't keep Isabella
out all night."

	"Sure you can," Isabella said.  "I can do ANYTHING with my friends,"
she said, then yawned.

	Kim patted her head.  "Let's get you all home."

**************
	
	"What were you thinking?" Linda Flynn said frantically. "You could
have gotten hurt!  It's dangerous at night!"

	YES, FINALLY BUSTED, Candace thought.

	For walking around at night.  Something utterly mundane which did
nothing to prove their REAL crimes.

	 DAMMIT.

	"But Mom, Perry could be hurt somewhere and need help," Phineas pleaded.

	"I'm sorry, I didn't even think to ask," Ron said to Linda.  "I
should have known better."

	"Well, since you went with them, they were safe," Linda said. "But
don't ever go out that late without an adult or a young adult," she
said to Phineas and Ferb sternly.  "Thank you for watching over them,
Ron."  THAT was more benevolent.

	He looked surprised, then said, "Thank you, Mrs. Flynn."

	"Thank you, Ron," Lawrence said, smiling.

	Ron smiled, basking in the unaccustomed glow of approval.

	"And thank you, Candace and Kimmy," Linda said to them. "It was very
nice of you to go out so late and look. You must be very tired."

	"Umm...Mom...  Is it okay if we go to a concert in Corinth tomorrow
night?  Kim's going to drive," Candace asked.

	Kim flashed her license.

	"Oh, of course, Kimmy's very responsible," Linda said.

	"Jeremy and Ron are coming with us," Candace said.

	"That's fine, dear, they're good boys.  You'll have a good time."

	"Your mother and I kissed for the first time at a concert, you know,"
Lawrence said.  "Well, since you all organized that reunion, I guess
you do know."

	"Reunion?" Kim asked.

	"Love Handel," Lawrence said. "The band of our happy youth."  He gave
a cheerful sigh.  "They had a reunion for our wedding anniversary."

	"I was STUNNED," Linda said. "Best anniversary ever."

	"We aim to please," Phineas said.

	"My family went to Switzerland for their last anniversary," Kim said.
"We had a great time even if I had to bust my brothers for what they
did with all the chocolate."

	Linda smiled that 'Mother laughing on the inside' smile that Candace
knew TOO WELL.  "You two have so much in common."

	"My brothers are hideous brats who constantly get into trouble and
try to invent things but they're not smart enough to do it right," Kim
said.

	THEN WHY DOESN'T SHE UNDERSTAND WHAT MY BROTHERS ARE UP TO?, Candace wondered.

	"Like I said," Linda said cheerfully.

	"Come on," Candace said to Kim.  "Let's go to bed."

	"Goodnight!"

***************

	"Charlene, is that you?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz mumbled as Perry dumped a
glass of water on his face.

	Perry shook his head.

	"I don't have a new evil scheme yet," Dr. Doofenschmirtz said,
sitting up and dusting himself off.  "I don't think it's even tomorrow
yet."

	Perry held up a picture of Vanessa and another one of Dr. Drakken.

	"Wait, are you trying to tell me Vanessa actually went to the concert
with that idiot DRAKKEN?" Dr. Doofenschmirtz said.  "I can't believe
she'd lie to me like that!"

	Perry slapped his forehead.  He held the Drakken picture in front of
his face, then snatched the Vanessa picture and mimed stuffing it into
his pocket.

	"He put her in the trunk of his car?  I'm relieved. I thought I was
the only one who makes that kind of mistake on a date," Doofenschmirtz
said.

	Perry vibrated.  Holding the Drakken picture in front of his face, he
now put the Vanessa picture into one of Doofenschmirtz's traps and
triggered it on the picture.

	"He tra...Wait, are you saying he kidnapped her?" Doofenschmirtz said.

	Perry nodded firmly.

	"How EVIL," he said, seeming to relish it.  "Kidnapping a man's
daughter to...to... MY DAUGHTER."

	Perry nodded.

	"And her friends?" Doofenschmirtz asked.

	Perry hopped around like a frog.

	"He made a frog-inator?  I INVENTED THAT FIRST!  HE STOLE MY DESIGN!"
 Flames roared up around Dr. Doofenschmirtz.  "Turn this blimp around!
 IT IS TIME TO DESTROY DRAKKEN!"

******************

	Dr. Drakken studied the block of ice.  "This freeze ray idea of yours
wasn't half-bad once I took off the melting function and fixed a dozen
or so mistakes, Doofenschmirtz.  Thanks for adding to my arsenal."

	Doofenschmirtz made incoherent noises from inside it.  Perry the
Platypus just grimaced.

	"I didn't even have to do anything," Shego said, surprised.

	Dr. Drakken twirled the gun around his finger.  "Fastest freeze ray
in the west," he said.  "Okay, Possible doesn't know we're here, but
she will.  We'd best sleep while we can, then find her in the morning.
 She probably came here to deal with Doofenschmirtz, so she'll come to
us."

	"Don't we have a tracker?"

	"Good point.  Let's sleep, we can kidnap her when fully rested."

	This made enough sense to worry Shego she was missing something.

****************

	Candace was quite musically talented and had a virtual army of
instruments in her room.  Thus, she and Kim were jamming on guitar to
a song Kim had downloaded for Candace from online.

Kim:  o/~ It's astounding;
          Time is fleeting;
           Madness takes its toll.
           But listen closely... o/~

Candace:   o/~  Not for very much longer. o/~

Kim: o/~  I've got to keep control.
          I remember doing the time-warp
          Drinking those moments when
          The Blackness would hit me o/~

Candace:   o/~ And the void would be calling... o/~

In Unison:
         o/~  Let's do the time-warp again. o/~
         o/~  Let's do the time-warp again. o/~

	Phineas and Ferb and Ron could now be seen setting up blue cones in
the corners of the room.  Antennas and other funky things were
sticking out.

	"What is this?" Candace demanded.

	"It will generate a time warp, just like you asked us to make for
you," Phineas said.

	"..."

	Kim laughed.  "Those can generate a time warp," she said dubiously.

	Phineas put a remote control on the bookshelf, then pulled out a huge
blue print.  "You see..."

	"There will be NO ROCKY HORROR in this house," Lawrence said.

	"What?  I still haven't seen it!" Candace protested.

	"Sir, this is from the new Everyone Hates Ragnar album," Kim said.

	"They ripped it off and I won't allow it!," Lawrence said, arms crossed.

	"Yes, dad," Candace said, slumping.

	"And isn't Ron taking you boys to the park?" Lawrence asked Phineas.

	"We just wanted to help Candace," Phineas said.  "She asked us to..."

	"That's very sweet of you.  Now, run along."

	They ran off with Ron.

	"And finally, you were both singing too high," Lawrence said.  "Kim
was singing a man's part."  He sighed and headed out.  "I'm off to
work!  Have fun today!"

	"Me too," Linda shouted.  "See you all at dinner!"

	They moped for a few minutes, but Kim quickly recovered.  "These
don't actually work, do they?" Kim said, studying one of the cones.

	"It's better we NEVER find out, so don't touch them," Candace said.
"And make sure you DEFINITELY don't touch the remote control."

	"I'll just move it to..."  Kim began to say, and then Shego came in
the window.  "Candace, here!"  She threw it to Candace and it went off
as she caught it.  Candace vanished.

	"A teleporter!  Dammit, that would have been useful," Shego said.  "I
guess I'll have to settle for those little boys and your friend with
the pants problem."

	"His name is RON," Kim said angrily.  "And... you took Candace's brothers?"

	"Leverage.  You come quietly or they end up being used to test all of
Doofenschmirtz's devices we can't figure out the use of."

	Kim sighed. "Fine, let's go." Wait, how is Shego flying?, she wondered.

	(The answer, you see, was the Fly-By-Thought-Inator, which Dr.
Drakken had fixed its tendency to fry your brain the more you flew.
But Kim didn't know that.)

 	It's up to you, Candace, Kim thought.  When you get back from
the...you know, I don't even know if you went to the past or the
future.  But it's up to you and Stacy to save the day.

*****************

	Candace landed in a laboratory.  A red haired man was busy mixing
chemicals and frowning at them, while a red haired little girl in a
labcoat was busy drawing on paper with crayons.  But if you looked
carefully, she was drawing herself dancing with the words 'You're
busted' around it in purple.

	IT WORKED, Candace thought.

	Of course it worked.  The problem is never that it doesn't WORK.
It's that they put themselves in crazy danger every day and how can I
possibly protect them from that and someone JUST FLEW IN OUR WINDOW
and attacked us.

	She shivered. Dad.  She hadn't seen him in a decade.  He didn't even
say goodbye.

	"How come you didn't even say goodbye???" Candace said, trying not to cry.

	The little girl blinked.  "Mommy, did you get hit with a de-aging ray?"

	The man started, then turned. "Hello, Candace.  And that hasn't
happened yet."  He turned to the little girl.  "Candace, can you go
make us some baloney sandwiches?"

	"Yes!  Experiment initiated!" she said and ran off.

	"I leave tomorrow," he said.  "It's too dangerous.  Once you're in
this business, you can't get out of it.  I have too many enemies and
even though I've stopped all of them so far, sooner or later, one of
them is going to get lucky.  I can only protect you by leaving."

	"My brothers do crazy things EVERY day.  How am I supposed to...I
need to get back!  Some crazy mutant albino woman just showed up to
attack Kim!"

	"It's worse, she took your brothers," he said gravely.

	Her eyes widened.  "What?"

	"I don't know why, because you didn't tell me," he said.

	"..."

	"You came here earlier today and told me what to tell you when you got here."

	"I hate time travel SO MUCH," Candace said.  "Does that mean I
definitely manage to save them?"

	"No, if you fail, that never happens and, well, who knows.  Possibly
the entire universe curls in on itself and swallows its own tail, then
starts over from scratch.  I hate time travel too."

	"..."

	He smiled at her, coming over and putting his hands on her shoulders.
 "But you're the kind of smart girl who can invent her own time
machine and come back in time to get advice from her genius father.
So I know you will rescue Phineas and his step-brother, Ferb."

	"I...told you about all that?" she said weakly.  THEY invented that
machine, not me.

	"They dropped by earlier and told me about all the times you've
rescued them and gotten them out of trouble and the fun you've had
together.  They have confidence in you."

	"Wait, they..."

	"They said they were testing your time machine, and they dropped in
just a few minutes ago.  Which your later self told me would happen.
I'm very proud of you, Candace," he said.  "May I hug you?"
	
	She started to cry.  "Yes, Daddy," she said, crying up a storm as he
hugged her tightly.

	"You could probably do something fancier with your hair, though," he
said.  "Though I do like the braid."

	I totally forgot to ask Jeremy if he likes my braid, she thought,
somewhat in shock.  "Did later me give you any...umm... things to tell
me?" she said.

	"Don't forget the shipment," he said.  "That's all.  She said you
would understand."

	"Daddy, why don't I remember any of this?"

	"You got hit with an amnesia ray.  It made you forget all our
adventures.  You draw pictures of you busting things and don't even
remember why," he said sadly.

	Candace twitched.

	"It's what made me decide I was putting you and my family in too much
danger," he said.  "I can't even figure out how to cure it.  But I
expect a genius like you can figure it out.  Before you go, can you
tell me how you became Queen of Mars?  They mentioned it but didn't
explain it."

	Half laughing, half-crying, she explained the whole thing to her
father, then said, "Call me some time.  In the future."

	"Okay," he said.  "I will.  But it has to be secret."

	She gave him her number.  "Totally secret.  Just between us."  She
hugged him again. "Mother..."

	"Is remarried.  She wanted a normal life and she has it and I'm glad
she finds someone nice.  It makes this a little less painful."  He
sighed.  "A little."

	They sat silently, then ate the sandwiches Little Candace brought
them.  When they finished, Dr. Brown said, "Candace, can you get us
some cookies?"

	"Okay!"  She ran off.

	"Now here's the warning.  You have to decide.  Once you step into
this life, there is no turning back.  You will never be able to have a
totally normal life.  You may have to do what I did...will do...one
day.  You shouldn't have to get involved with these crazies," he said.
 "And there are authorities who can rescue them for you."  He gave her
a phone number.  "If you call Global Justice, they will rescue your
brothers."

	"I...I don't know what to do.  I want...all I ever wanted..."  Her
head throbbed.  "Daddy, I can't...but I can't..."

	"You have to make this decision yourself," he said.

	She flickered, then started.

	"It's the automatic return, right?" he said.  "Phineas said it has an
automatic return function so you won't be stranded any time you travel
through time.  You'll always return to the cones.  You just have to be
careful not to change anything you've already lived through."

	She flickered again.  "Daddy, I love..."

	And then she was back home, falling to her knees.  "You."

	Then she curled up in a ball and cried.

****************

	"Sorry, Dad," Vanessa said.

	"It's okay.  It's not your fault," Dr. Doofenschmirtz said as Shego
chained Kim to the wall; the boys were already hung up.  Perry was
hung up on the other side of Dr. Doofenschmirtz.

	"Man, you really like restraints," Shego said.

	"IT IS NOT LIKE THAT," Dr. Doofenschmirtz said.
	
	"Says the pathetic man who made a robot wife and daughter so he could
pretend someone loved him," Dr. Drakken said, sitting on a floating
lounge chair.  "Shego, you HAVE to try these chairs.  They're GREAT."

	Shego floated in the air next to him as if on one.  "Yeah.  Did you
build one of these babies into a chair?"  Sh touched her tiara, which
looked like a pretty princess crown but let her fly.

	"Dad, can I have one of those for Christmas?" Vanessa asked.

	"They're DANGEROUS. They melt your brain after a while,"
Doofenschmirtz said. "Also, if someone sets them to reverse, you fly
backwards into a wall."

	"That's why I made them battery powered instead of brain powered,"
Drakken said.

	Vanessa paused. "Wait, why do you think that I'm a robot?"

	"Oh come on, you can't be real," Drakken said.  "Shego, is...oh wait,
WE ALREADY CAPTURED Kim Possible.  Excellent."

	"I AM RIGHT HERE!," Kim said, trying to wiggle free.  "I'll
just...these aren't half bad restraints."

	Perry made odd gestures with his head as if he expected her to do
something with her hair, but her hair had no special properties beyond
LOTS OF BODY.  Which was, admittedly, special.

	To her, anyway.

	Ron looked around the room; there was a remarkable lack of things for
him to break.  Where were Drakken's machines?  "So what's the plans,
Drakken?"

	"Wait, who are you?" Drakken asked.

	"I'm Ron Stoppable!  Remember my name!"

	"Why can't I be real?" Vanessa said angrily.

	"Oh come on, a loser like Doofenschmirtz with a wife and child?
Never happen," Shego said. "I doubt he's ever gotten to first base."

	"Hey, I've gotten to first base!" Drakken said.

	"Second."

	Drakken grumbled.

	"We had to hit MANY home runs in order to have our dear little
Vanessa!," Doofenschmirtz said.  "We ran the field until they didn't
make numbers high enough to contain our score!  If you'll just release
me, I have a song and dance I've been saving for when I have to tell
Vanessa about the birds and the bees."

	"Dad," Vanessa said, embarrassed.

	"I'm not that kind of stupid," Drakken said, then pointed at Shego.
"Don't even say it."

	Shego grinned.

	"Anyway, you have to be a robot because there's no way Doofenschmirtz
could have gotten married and had a kid.  That loser?  HAH," Drakken
said, sipping a daquiri he'd made with the supplies in the fridge.

	Shego said, "Exactly.  Not that you could either, Drakken."

	"HEY!"

	Doofenschmirtz laughed and so did Vanessa.

	"I don't get it," Phineas said.

	Everyone suddenly turned and looked at them and Shego said, "New
Topic," very quickly.

	"But we..." Drakken began.

	"NEW TOPIC," Shego said.  "I have a degree too and it says NEW TOPIC."

	"But..."

	Her hands glowed and Vanessa suddenly thought of something.  But it
was on a table with all the other captured widgets.  How can I get it,
she wondered.

	"So what's your evil plan?" Kim said.  "We need to wrap this up
before Mrs. Flynn gets home."

	"My plan is..."  Drakken paused.

	"We don't have a plan," Shego confessed.  "We just improvised."

	"Which worked really well," Drakken said. "We should have tried this before."

	"I can't argue with that.  But for now, we have SIX CRATES of things
of unclear purpose," Shego said.  "So for now, you all get to tell us
what these things do."

	"Ooh, does the person who gets the most right get a prize?" Phineas asked.

	"Yes, of course," Shego said.

	"SWEET."

	Ferb looked at Vanessa, lost in flower-o-vision.

	Vanessa looked at Ferb, then pointedly at Chekov's Hand-Shrinker.  He
glanced at it, then nodded to her, then wiggled his hands.

	She nodded.  Man, he can get it from just looking at it, she thought.
 He is smart for a kid his age.

	He began trying to figure out how to get his hands free.

	"Look, I AM married.  I mean..." Doofenschmirtz began.

	"Yeah.  And Mom is going to come and KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD THEY WILL
FIND IT IN MAINE," Vanessa said, trying to scare them, knowing it
wouldn't work.

	"Bullshit," Drakken said.

	"We were married when I first met you, you idiot!," Doofenschmirtz said.

	"A real wife would have helped with your evil work," Drakken said.
"I knew better."

	There was a distant sound of traps going off.

	"Shego, let's attend to our guest, though I have no clue who it is.
If we're lucky, perhaps Dr. Brown has decided to finally fall into my
hands."

	"Lucky?" Shego said.

	"Perhaps trusting to luck isn't wise," he said.

	They left.

	"Man, I was just starting to get into the idea of this game and now
we have to wait," Phineas said.

	"First time being kidnapped?" Kim asked.

	"Candace has had to save us a fair number of times, but I think this
is our first actual CAPTIVITY.  I wish Isabella was here.  She hasn't
got her Incarceration patch yet."

	"So she saves you a lot?"

	"Yeah, she's our big sister and always watches out for us," Phineas said.

	Ferb nodded.

	"But she even fought a fifty foot version of Buford to save us."

	"I think maybe we could count her saving us from the Martians," Ferb
said thoughtfully.

	"Well, we came to save her, but she only became a captive after we
arrived," Phineas said.  He frowned.  "You know, it's complicated."

	"Martians.  DAMN THOSE MARTIANS," Doofenschmirtz said darkly.
"Perry, shouldn't you have escaped by now?"

	Perry was very thoroughly secured, too much to move at all.  He
strained, then chittered.

	"That isn't Perry," Phineas said.  "Perry doesn't wear a hat."

	"It most certainly IS and he wears a hat!  How else would you tell he
is Perry and not some random stupid Platypus?"

	"So you think Candace will come?" Kim asked Ferb.

	"Definitely," Ferb said as Phineas and Doofenschmirtz argued angrily.
 Then he winked at Kim reassuringly.

	He must have a hidden receiver, Kim thought.  She felt reassured.

	All the ladies love me, Ferb thought, floating away in a double-flower-fantasy.

	Rufus chittered quietly in Ron's ear.  Ron nodded and Rufus slipped off.

******************
	
	 Candace stared out the window at Jeremy on his way to work.  He
wanted a nice normal girl, she was sure.  But she wasn't normal at the
best of times. Normal girls didn't become Queen of Mars or Victory of
the Monster Truck Rally or spend their London vaction dressed up as
Sherlock Holmes or Champion of the Ferb Games or save their brothers
from giant monster versions of Buford or grow to fifty feet tall.

	She could fake it.  She tried her best to be normal.  To live a
normal life.  Like Daddy had told her to.  So she would be safe. So
they would be safe.  But they kept rushing into danger.  How can I
protect them if they're always doing such crazy things?  If they got
hurt...  IF that crazy woman had hurt them...

	Her hands clenched into fists. Jeremy sailed on down the street, away from her.

	She had to decide.  Call someone else to save them, or do it herself.

	If she called her parents, Phineas and Ferb would be busted once and
for all; the authorities could probably save them, and she could stay
normal.

	Fake-normal.  How could anyone be normal with the life she had?  The
things she'd done.

	But Jeremy...Stacey...Jenny... they wouldn't want to associate with a
freak like her if they knew the truth.

	If they knew...if they knew...

	How much she was like her brothers.

	The thought horrified her, but she couldn't help but think of all the
times she'd forgotten to freak out and just gotten swept away by the
things they did.  The good times.

	Jeremy vanished out of sight around a corner.

	He'll probably hate me forever, Candace thought.

	But I have to do this.  Even if there is no turning back.  Even if I
never...if Stacy...and Jenny...

	She could just imagine that crazy woman, torturing Phineas and Ferb
and...and...

***************

	"Why do only they get ice cream when they're right?" Dr.
Doofenschmirtz said angrily.

	Shego had to hold the ice cream cones for Phineas and Ferb because
they were still chained up.  "Shut up, or I'll give you a cone in your
pants."

	Ron couldn't help but snicker.

	"You want to keep those pants?" She snapped at Ron.

	"Hey, the odds of me keeping these are quite slim, thank you," he
said.  "It's why I shop at Smarty-Mart!"

	"They have batteries, cheap," Ferb observed.

	"Hmph," Doofenschmirtz said.

	It might be noted at this point that Pinky was now also chained to
the wall, having been caught off-stage in the earlier scene.

	"People who are robots or pretend to have a family don't get any ice
cream, neither do pants-losers or arch-nemeses," Drakken said. "Now
for the next part..."

	"It's a hyper-flux capacitor," Ferb said as Drakken reached for the
hand shrinker.

	"It is?" he said.  "It looks like a ray gun."

	Doofenschmirtz caught on.  "I have a lot of spare ray gun frames."

	"Bah, I have a billion of those," Drakken said, tossing it in the discard box.

	I win, Ferb thought.  Time for flower-o-vision!

	Drakken's stomach grumbled.  "Send for lunch, Shego."

	"I'm going to recommend Mr. Slushy Dog," Phineas said.

	"I liked the bratwurst we got at Doofenschmirtz Bratwurst, Inc.," Ferb said.

	"There is NO WAY I am eating anything Doof made," Drakken said. "Mr.
Slushy Dog it is."

**************

	"I have no choice," Candace said softly.  "I have to save them.  But
to protect my family, I'll have to create a secret identity."  But ...

	THE SHIPMENT.

	But her parents were there...

	I HAVE A TIME MACHINE.

	She was going to need help.  She called her best friend nervously.
"Stacy?  I need your help."
	
	"I'm on the way!"

***************

	Shego now chained Jeremy to the wall.  "You could have just robbed
me," he said weakly.

	"And then you'd call the police," Shego said.  "I can just look at
you and tell no one will care if you go missing."

	"Candace will care," Phineas said.

	"I am not afraid of your useless sister who ran away from me," Shego said.

	Phineas grinned in a way that made her nervous but she finished
chaining up Jeremy, then began sticking corn dogs in everyone's mouth.

	After a moment's thought, she blindfolded Phineas and Ferb, just to be sure.

***************

	"We're breaking into a mad scientist's lair to rescue your brothers?
And we get to use a TIME MACHINE?" Stacy said.

	"I know it's kind of freaky," Candace said nervously.

	"It's AWESOME," Stacy said.  "Being your BFF is the best thing EVER."

	Candace stood, stunned.

	"Every day, something awesome happens.  You're like this engine of
awesome that just sucks in everything and makes it cooler," Stacy
said.

	"Really?" Candace said.

	"Yeah," Stacy said.  "Even if you did slow down my shopping in
London. Next time, WE SHOP."

	Candace felt as if a HUGE burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

	With my best friend at my side, I can do this, she thought.

	"Okay, first thing first, we figure out how this thing works, then we
jump back in time to last night, get the key, go to Dad's shop, get
into the crates, and kit ourselves up with disguises and equipment,
then we come back to now, get Isabella and the Firesign Girls and then
we are going to RESCUE MY BROTHERS!"

	She studied the device. On the back, it said, "Attaches magnetically
to a base guitar.  Then rock out to go where you want."

	Oh yeah.

	She slapped it on, they each got a guitar and...

	"WYLD STALLIONS!"

	Guitars screeched and they vanished into the past.

**************

	"How can you even put people in ballgowns with twisted bits of
metal?" Drakken asked.

	"It's broken NOW, you fool," Doofenschmirtz said.  He glanced over at
Perry.  "Just lazing around, taking your own sweet time, are you?"

	"Our Platypus is HATLESS," Phineas said firmly.

	"Dammit, if you two start that again, I will tell Shego to KILL YOU,"
Drakken said.

	"I am totally going to get fired if I don't get back soon," Jeremy
said piteously.

	WHOOP WHOOP, the intruder alarm went off.

	"Hmm, let's see if it's Brown or if he's sending another pet in a
fedora after us," Drakken said.

	They rushed out to the front door area only to find the door broken
down and a huge crate was trapped in half a dozen traps.

	They approached it warily, and Shego disintegrated the cover.  "E.T:
The Video Game?" she said in confusion.  "Wait.  Are these actual
Atari cartridges?"

	"DO NOT TOUCH IT, IT IS EVIL," Drakken said.

	"But we're evil."

	"Close the lid!  This is serious ARK OF THE COVENANT level evil,"
Drakken said. "Seal it!"

	The cartridges started to glow.

	"But I disintegrated the lid to avoid any traps," Shego said.

	"RUN FOR IT!"

***************

	A ceiling tile slid aside and a rope dropped down, with Isabella
hanging from it.  "All clear," she said.  She was dressed as a ninja,
but still had her Firesign girl hat on.

	"Hey, Isabella," Phineas said. "Whatcha doing?"

	She grinned.  "I'm not Isabella, I am Shining Flower of the Fire Lotus Clan!"

	She dropped lightly to the ground and whipped out a pair of pliers
and began freeing Phineas and Ferb.

	A brown haired woman with short curly brown hair, a fedora, a long
coat, and a multi-colored scarf now dropped down.  She wore glasses
and a labcoat over the long coat.  She was followed by a woman with
long green hair wearing a dark green catsuit with a labcoat over it.
She had darker skin than the first woman.

	"Candace!" Phineas said excitedly.

	"I knew you'd come," Kim said.

	"I'm not Candace, I am Dr. Harriet Smith, scientific adventurer from
the Future!  And this is my assistant, Grace, from the Nebulon
Galaxy!," Dr. Smith said.

	"But..." Phineas started.

	"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Jones," Ferb said, winking at her so hard
he blew out a candle three blocks away.

	"Wow, you're cool," Jeremy said in awe.  "Nice to meet you, Dr. Jones."

	"I don't think we've ever met," Dr. Doofenschmirtz said.  "But get us
free and I'll help you take down Drakken.  He KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER.
CURSE YOU, DRAKKEN!"

	Grace, who wore circuit-covered gloves, karate-chopped the restraints
on Vanessa, who now freed her father and then grabbed the hand
shrinker.  "Yes, this ROCKS," Grace said.  "I get to keep the gloves,
right?"

	"Yes," Dr. Smith said a little nervously, then said, "Gummi bear?" to
Jeremy, offering him one.

	"Yes, it is."  Beat.  He blushed a little, then ate it while she
touched a large key to his restraints, turning him loose.

	"You shouldn't look at other women when you have such a beautiful
smart one you already know," Dr. Jones chided him but she smiled.

	Doofenschmirtz dug a widget out and released Perry.  "Sad.  Sad.  I
think you may need to go back to basic training, Perry.  Not one of
your better performances."

	Perry pointed at Vanessa, then mimed falling and someone catching someone.

	Vanessa's eyes widened.  "He killed Lacey!  I was so...how could I
even..."  She looked horrified.
	
	Perry showed her a picture of Lacey lying asleep in the woods with two frogs.

	"Thank you!," Vanessa said and hugged him, while her father turned
interesting colors.

	Rufus now released Ron and Kim slid out of her bonds.  "He says there
are a lot of ninjas in the walls."

	"My ninjas," Isabella said, taking Phineas' hand.  "Ready to rumble?"

	"Hold on.  Give me three minutes and I will arm us all," Doofenschmirtz said.

	"You won't GET three minutes," Drakken said. "Some fool dumped an
entire CRATE of unshielded E.T:  The Video Game cartridges in here.
But before it kills us all, we're going to kill you!"

	He paused.  "Wait, why aren't you...WHO ARE YOU?" he said, pointing at Candace.

	"That's C..." Phineas began.

	Ferb URGENTLY winked at him and Isabella stomped on his foot.

	"I am Dr. Harriet Smith, scientific adventurer from the future and
this is my assistant from the Nebulon Galaxy, Grace.  I'm afraid it's
time to end your reign of terror, old chap," Dr. Smith said with a
fairly hokey british accent.

	"There's a Britain in the future?" Drakken said.

	"Of course there is!  Were you planning to destroy it?"

	"Umm...."

	"He has fifteen plans for it, none work," Shego said.  "I TOLD YOU."

	"One of them HAS TO WORK," Drakken said angrily.  "Shego, deal with Possible!"

	"And the others?" Shego asked.

 	"I couldn't sleep, so I built a robot army," he said.  "ROBOT ARMY ATTACK!"

	Vanessa snapped off a shot and shrank Shego's hands to be very, very
tiny.  "YES.  No disintegration for you."

	"...."

	"Retreat to the sheltering bosom of our ROBOT ARMY!"

	Kim, Ron, Dr. Smith, and Grace charged out while Ferb and Dr.
Doofenshmirtz improvised weapons for the rest and Isabella stood
guard.  Swarms of Fire Lotus Ninjas were everywhere, sword fighting
with the robots.

	Kim chased Shego, who fled; she could fly but couldn't fight with
tiny hands.  Ron went after Drakken.  Grace began karate chopping
robots with wild abandon.  And Dr. Smith strapped on gloves with huge
magnets attached and began smacking Robots in the head, dodging their
blows with ease.  Each one she hit froze up as its robot brain erased
itself.

	Drakken was now trapped against one wall and Ron was pummeling him to
his embarrassment.  "You leave me no choice!  I had to park my final
robot outside, it was so big!  Now it will..."

	There was a crunching sound and bits of metal falling and the wall
cracked open and a giant orange dinosaur robot which doubled as a
waterslide stood there with bits of Dr. Drakkens' failsafe in his
mouth.

	"We're OUT OF HERE," Shego said.  "FLY, DRAKKEN, FLY!"

	Dr. Doofenschmirtz came running out with a raygun.  "HEY!  Don't
steal my best lounger!"

	Drakken flew out the hole, dodging the dinosaur, and flew off with
Shego.  "Now, DIE!"  Drakken pushed a remote control.

	Rufus shook his head, waggling the power cord for the bomb, which
he'd disconnected.

	"STUPID MOLERAT!"

	"Dammit, I had him."

	"Everyone on the dinosaur!," Dr. Smith said.  "IT FLIES TOO."

	"YES!" Phineas said, leaping onto it.

	"But don't use the waterslide or you'll fall to your death!"

	"Oh man!"

	Everyone piled on and the dinosaur now sprouted huge propeller blades
out of its head.  Dr. Smith got inside the head with Grace.  "Phineas,
I need you and Ferb to man the guns.  Grace, you operate the arms.  I
will pilot."

	"And us?" Ron asked.

	"How well do you cling to the outside of flying dinosaurs?"

	"Pretty well," Kim said.

	"Let's hope we don't have to test if this thing can handle space,"
Dr. Smith said.  "I...is Jeremy okay?"

	"He's fine, Can..." Phineas began.

	"He's fine, Dr. Smith," Ferb said firmly and winked at Phineas.

	"Oh, right, right, DR. SMITH," Phineas said.  Why Candace tried so
hard to hide her awesome, he'd never understand.

	He hadn't realized she could build anything this cool, though.

	"I assume the waterslide is for emergency escape?" Ferb asked.

	"Of course," Dr. Smith said, just a little nervously.

	They were closing in on Drakken and Shego now.  They both looked
rather frustrated and Shego kept staring at her tiny hands, while
Vanessa laughed her head off at her.

	Dr. Smith now saw Linda and Lawrence driving home for lunch, which
they usually didn't bother to do.

	OH NO, she thought.  What are they going to do when they find no one home?

	But she couldn't...

	She had to catch Drakken or Shego or they might go after... Mom and Dad!

	Please be safe and not notice everyone is gone, she thought.

****************

	There was a note on the table when Linda and Lawrence got home, which
read 'We've all gone to the park for a picnic.  See you at dinner, Mom
and Dad, Love, Candace.  PS:  I did not time travel from the future to
leave you this note AT ALL.'

	Linda laughed.  "Good to see they're having fun."

	"I'm sure they're having a good time."

	A huge shadow passed over the yard.

	Linda blinked.  "I didn't think today was an eclipse."

	"Probably just that promotional blimp for the bratwurst company,"
Lawrence said.

	"Let's get bratwurst," Linda said.  "I hear Charlene's bratwurst is GREAT."

	They headed out for lunch.

****************

	"Ron, did you make that lasso out of linked bratwurst sausages?" Kim
asked, boggled.

	"You work with what you have, KP," he said.  "There was a ton of it
in the freezer, Rufus discovered."

	He lassoed a very frustrated Dr. Drakken, tying him to his lounger
and pulling him back.  Then he tied another length to Kim (who
squirmed at the necessity) and hurled her at Shego.  Shego had to
dodge the flying dinosaur's LASER EYES and got caught by Kim, who
pinned her arms and let Ron pull her back.

	"Damn these tiny hands.  YOU WILL PAY, DOOFENSCHMIRTZ!" Shego shouted.

	"That's for turning my friends into frogs!" Vanessa shouted.

	We won, Doofenschmirtz thought.  The actual thought of victory left
him too stunned even to gloat.

**************
	
	"We'll take it from here," Dr. Director said as her men hauled away
Drakken and Shego, both still cursing.  "Good job, Possible."

	"Thanks, Director," Kim said, smiling.
	
	"You too, Ron," the Director said and he smiled.

	"Always nice to have new heroines in town," Dr. Director said to Dr.
Smith and Grace.  "Will we be seeing much of you?"

	"Just when you least expect; as a time traveller, I might show up
anywhere or any when," Dr. Smith said.

	Dr. Director handed her a communicator.  "You can call us and vice
versa with this."

	"Thanks."  It vanished into the folds of her long coat.  "Well, time
to clear out of here before this thing gets towed," she said.  "Ms.
Possible, can you get Phineas and Ferb home?  I'm sure their sister is
tearing her hair out."

	Kim grinned.  "Of course, 'Dr. Smith'."

	"Isn't th..." Ron began.  Isabella stomped on his foot.

	"I'm a little disappointed Candace didn't show up to save us," Jeremy said.

	"She generally hopes you'll save HER," Grace said, grinning.

	"Ahaha," Dr. Smith said.

	"Though..."  He gave Dr. Smith a look which normally would have made
her happy but now made her realize she might be about to be in a love
triangle with HERSELF.

	EEEP.

	"There is one thing..." Dr. Smith said to Dr. Director, then had a
whispered conversation with her.

***************

	"You should have gotten captured so you could get your incarceration
patch," Isabella said to Candace a little later.  BIG WINK.

	"I'll see about getting captured next time," Candace said, busy
hugging her brothers.

	"You were really...I mean, Dr. Smith and Grace were really awesome,"
Phineas said.

	"YEAH," Stacy said, grinning.

	"Hey, everyone, how was your time travelling, Candace?" Linda said,
teasing her daughter and startling everyone.

	"It was awesome," Candace said, hi-fiving her brothers and then
Stacy.  "We had an awesome day."

	"Shouldn't you be on your way to Corinth by now if you're going to
make it to the concert?" Lawrence asked.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"  Candace said.

	"That's my daughter," Linda said cheerfully.  "See you in the
morning, since I expect you'll get back late."

	"Oh, those crates, I sold them to Global Justice," Lawrence said to
Candace.  "It sold VERY well, so here's another hundred you can spend
on merchandise at the concert.  You all have fun!"

	"I have tickets for everyone," Kim said.  "Let's go!"

	They ran outside and piled in the stationwagon, then went and got
Jeremy as well.  Kim drove, Ron sat up next to her and Stacy, Candace,
and Jeremy piled in the back.  Once they were out of sight of their
houses, Candace pulled out a remote control and the stationwagon
turned into a monster truck.  "LAY THE HAMMER DOWN!" she shouted, and
Kim did.

	They roared off towards the sunset.

****************
	
	"I... I have to ask you something," Vanessa said to her father.

	"I can't send you back in time to make sure you get to the concert,"
he said.  "I can do THIS, though."  He held out four tickets to
Everyone Loves Ragnar's New York City showing.  "I'll be going with
you but not to the concert."

	She hugged him. "Thanks, Dad.  Why are you going?"

	"Oh, no reason," he said cheerfully.

	"DAD," she said, face in her hands.

	"Admit it, you enjoyed shrinking Shego's hands," he said.  "It was EVIL."

	"Oh god yes," she said.  "She had it coming."

	He grinned.

	"I can't believe that he...how did you and Mom meet?"

	"You know my love of musicals?" he said.

	"You and Mom both love musicals."

	"We both went to a live showing of Rocky Horror in costume and hit it
off," he said.  "You know, I think I saw Lindana there with her
boyfriend; they were in costume too."

	"She's Phineas and Ferb's mother, you know," Vanessa said.

	She could see switches flip in his head.

	A few gears blew.

	"Dad?"

	"I can't tell you the rest of this story," he said.  "Anyway, get
your friends together next Thursday and we fly out."

	"Okay," she said.  "I'm hungry.  We should stop by one of Mom's
bratwurst stands.  I know you love it and I get a discount."

	"She...she's running Bratwurst stands?" he said, shaking.

	"Don't you like it?"

	"And it's working out well?" he asked.

	"GREAT."

	"CURSE MY LUCK!!!!!  DAMN YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"  Beat.  "Sorry, instinct."

	She was used to it.

***************  	

	"Come see us some time in Middleton," Kim said to Candace.

	"Don't be a stranger, Kimmy," Linda said cheerfully.

	"I won't," she said, and got hugged by Linda.

	"I hope you won't be too bored without Kim and Ron here, Candace," Linda said.

	"Oh, I think Stacy and I will find something to occupy our time,"
Candace said cheerfully.

	"Besides busting your brothers," Linda said.

	"I will have an ordinary day, doing ordinary things the way ordinary
girls do," Candace said.  She and Kim winked at each other.

	Linda studied them with the definite feeling SOMETHING was going on.

	"Bye, Mrs. Flynn!," Stacy said.

	They could hear a helicopter landing.  "That's my ride," Kim said.
She gave Candace a hug.  "See you on the flip side!"

	"Good luck," Candace said, then shook Ron's hand.  "See you, Ron."

	"See you!" he said and then he and Kim flew away in the copter.

	"My goodness," Linda said.  "She must have an exciting life."

	"Much more exciting than mine," Candace said with mock sorrow.

	"If you want excitement, you have to go out and SEIZE it," Linda
said.  "If you just mope about your brothers having fun, you will miss
all the chances to have fun yourself!"

	"But Mom..."

	"Try to make it through one day without trying to bust them, okay?"

	"Okay," Candace sighed.

	"Bye, dear.  Have fun."  Linda kissed her forehead and headed out.

	Once she was gone, Candace said, "Get the list, Stacy.  It's time to
do something COOL."

	"Hmm, item one is 'Find Godzilla, Fight Godzilla with our
Mecha-Godzilla.'," Stacy said.

	"Whatcha doing?" Phineas asked Candace, coming into the room.

	"THAT'S MY LINE!" Isabella shouted from the other room.

	"Going to Tokyo to fight Godzilla.  You coming?"

	"Hey, Isabella, Ferb, want to go fight Godzilla?"

	"Yes, Kaiju-fighting patch, HERE I COME!"

	Ferb nodded.  "Natch."
	
	"We have to make sure we're home by dinner, though," Candace said.
"And pack a lunch.  And wear something that won't stain easily."

	"Of course," Phineas said.  "Let's GO!"

	They scattered to make preparations for the trip.  It was time to
make this summer COUNT.

The End.